The only real path to true peace, happiness and freedom.
~
Easily free yourself from fear, anxiety, procrastination, addictions, confidence issues and emotional challenges and awaken to higher experiences.
~
Quickly discover personal peace and awaken to higher levels of conscious awareness.
~
The immediate solution to any personal or life challenge
& the true path to awakening from the dream that is causing your suffering
~

Radically improve the quality of your life.

Mark Gleave
 
There is nothing wrong with you, or outside of you. It is all an illusion created by Your Thinking Mind.	

Adjust your experience of reality to how you want to perceive it. That may sound impossible, but in fact, you are already doing it!	

Contents	3
Introduction	6
What I Want To Share	8
1 - An Introduction To Perception	11
The Power Of The Present Moment	11
The Quality Of Your Life Is…	14
What Is Reality?	14
How We Perceive Our World	15
You Experience Only What Has Your Attention	16
The Importance Of Becoming Conscious	16
Self Enquiry	17
Heaven and Hell	18
A Dramatic Shift In Perception & Awareness	18
Your Thoughts Are Not Your Thoughts 	19
2 - How I Believe Our Mind Really Works	20
Imagination - The Reality Simulator	20
The Structure Of The Mind As I Experience It	21
The Primal Mind - The Operating System	22
The Original Ego	23
 The Thinking Mind - Your Organic Super-Computer	24
The Thinking Mind Is mainly designed For Pain Avoidance	28
The Experiential Mind – Your Higher Self	29
What I Believe Went Wrong	30
The Challenge For The Westernised Mind	33
Our Dysfunctional Calculator	34
Understanding Consciousness & Memory	36
The Collective Consciousness	36
Understanding Memory	37
The Memory Overview	38
The Minds Adaptation or Reset Mechanism	39
3 - The Basis Of Our Perception	39
Your Perceived Experience of Reality	40
The Psychological Concept Of Self - Our Core Identity	42
General Beliefs and Convictions	45
True Expectations — You Get What You 'Truly' Expect	48
What Our Concept Of Self Defines	49
We All Have Multiple Identities	51
The Ideal Self – Ideal Identity	52
The Public Identity	53
The Victim Identity	57
Understanding Your Drives & Motivations	62
Our Driving Needs	65
The Needs of The Primal Mind (The Operating System)	67
The Needs of The Thinking Mind	68
The Needs of The Higher Mind	70
4 - What Creates Our Experience Of Reality	72
We All Have Multiple Personalities	72
Language - The Power Of Your Words	75
Your Questions, Statements, Comments & Stories	77
The Internal and External Loops	80
Expectations	81
Physiology - Body Language	81
Assumption & Projection	82
Perspective	83
Attachments, Association & Relationships	83
Positioning	83
Craving Is The Cause Of Much Suffering	84
Behaviours & Habitual Patterns	84
Rules & Values?	85
Justifications	86
Standards	87
Resources	87
State Enhancement - Enhancing the quality of your life	87
Specific Memories	88
Creating A Supportive Personality	88
Your Description Of The Stimulus	88
Your Reasoning - Direction & Quality	90
Meaning	91
Your Emotional Outcome	91
True Feelings	91
Love (higher mind)	93
Emotions - Psychologically Created Feelings 	95
Fear vs. Faith	97
The Challenge With Some Traditional Therapies	98
Non-Conscious Choice	99
Become Conscious	99
Know Your Emotional Outcome	99
The Conscious Internal Voice Of Praise	99
Conscious Choice	100
Free-Will – Freedom of Conscious Choice	101
Your Actions	101
Your results	102
Feedback	102
Memory - Overview	102
4 - Changing Your Experience Of Reality	102
Why We Try To Change	102
Measurement	104
Judgement	105
The Internal Voice of Criticism	105
The Impossibility Of Change	107
Directing & Training The Mind	107
The Importance Of Self-acceptance	111
Always Be Your Authentic Self, 
No Matter What	113
The Johari Window	114
The Illusion Of Control	115
Perceptions of Right, Wrong, Good & Bad	116
Your Suffering Is In Your Struggle	116
Surrendering Is The Solution	117
Become Helpless	119
Accept & Love Your Learning Experiences	119
Reacting vs. Responding	121
5 - Life & Spiritual Matters	121
Spirituality and Money	121
Can You Find The Feeling In The Journey	123
Relationships	124
What Is Life Really About?	127
Your Purpose, Mission & Destiny Are Different	128
Your Guides and Their Purpose	129
The ‘Real’ Secret	130
The Waterfall	131
Understanding Karma	132
The Power Of Intent	133
What is Oneness?	134
Oneness Deeksha	136
The Power Of Silence	138
Finding The Silence	139
A Very Special Meditation	140
How To Be Truly Spiritual	141
How To Measure Your Spiritual Growth	142
What Is Awakening? - Awakening Is Not A Thought Process	142
Physical Life and Physical Death	143
Sacredness	144
Conclusion	144
Afterword	149

First published by Redesign Your Life 2009
P.O. 302 Manchester, M20 2WN, UK

ISBN-13: ?

Copyright © 2008, 2009 by Mark Gleave
All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced or utilised in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying or recording, or stored in or used by a retrieval system of any kind, or transmitted in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the publisher and the author. Nor may it be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than in which it is published, and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser. All information, techniques, skills and concepts contained within this publication are of the nature of general information only, and are in no way recommended as individual advice. The intent is to offer a variety of information to provide a wide range of choices both now and in the future, recognising that we all have widely diverse circumstances and viewpoints. Should any reader choose to make use of any information contained herein, it is their decision, and the contributors and their company’s, authors and publishers do not assume any responsibility whatsoever under any conditions or circumstances. It is recommended that readers obtain their own independent advice.

Cover design by Mark Gleave, Evelyn Byrne & Owen.

Manufactured and printed in the UK.
Printed simultaneously in England and USA.

About the Author

Mark Gleave is a Transformational Educator, which is really a Personal Performance, Business, Relationship, Life and Existential Coach. He has many years experience in different forms of psychology, counselling and transformational work. His experience in these fields spans over 24 years, with many of those years involved in personal development at the highest level, with highly respected, well-known people. The most widely recognised of those would be Tony Robbins, whom Mark encountered first through his home study course, then his firewalk experience, then through completing his Mastery University, and Leadership Academy, and becoming as a Senior Leader/Mentor in Tony's personal development seminar environment in record time. Mark has also benefited extraordinarily from the teachings and influence of Bhagavan, an Avatar and enlightened being in India, and the founder of the Oneness University. Mark has personally attended Oneness events in Fiji and India at the Oneness University and is a recognized Facilitator and Trainer of Deeksha and Oneness, as taught and facilitated by some of the most awakened beings on the planet. 
Mark underwent a dramatic and irreversible change in perception and awareness in 2007, that has allowed him to become separated from the mind, and become a witness of his moment by moment life, from an 'external from the physical mind' perspective. This kind of awakening is far more than just being self-aware. Through this shift in awareness and perception, all his own personal suffering ended and this shift allowed, and still allows him, to watch both sides of the mind at work, and has documented his findings in a way that has helped many people become free from their own turmoil and suffering in their lives. This book has been written to give more people access to this information and wisdom, to help contribute to the shift in global consciousness that is coming. Mark currently resides in Manchester, England, and spends the majority of his time contributing to raising the collective consciousness of mankind, by coaching Transformational Awareness, sharing the information and techniques found in this book, through facilitating and sharing Deeksha (the Oneness Experience), and leading Oneness workshops and retreats, as well as many other Oneness related activities. 

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Contents

Author’s Note (Why I Wrote This Book)
Forward
Introduction
The Power Of The Present Moment
What I Want To Share				
The Journey Preceding This Book		

1 - How I Believe Our Mind Really Works
We Have More Than One Mind						
Your Thoughts Are Not Your Thoughts				
The Structure Of The Mind As I Experience It				
The Operating System						
	The Mind’s Adaptation Mechanism			
The Thinking Mind - Your Organic Super-Computer			
	The Thinking Mind Pain-Avoidance Mechanism		
The Experiential Mind - Your Higher Self				
The Challenge With The So-called Civilised Mind					
Our Dysfunctional Calculator						
Understanding Consciousness & Memory					
What I Believe Went Wrong With The Mind	
			
2 - What Creates Our Experience Of Reality
The Quality Of Your Life Is…						
The State Enhancer - Enhance the quality of your life	Perhaps take out?????		
What Creates Your Perceived Experience of Reality			
The Power of Identity							
Your Core Identity, Perceived Potential, Self-Belief & Comfort Zone	
Beliefs and Convictions							
Expectations								
Standards								
Focus - Your Choice of Thoughts						
Questions & Internal Statements						
Your Reasoning - Direction & Quality					
Meaning & Emotional Outcome						
Your Stories Cause You Problems					
The Internal Conversation & Your Dialogue				
The Internal and External Loops					
Your Comfort Zone
Understanding Your Motivations & Drives				
We All Have Multiple Identities						
	The Public Identity						
	The Victim Identity						
The Original Ego?							
We All Have Multiple Personalities					

3 - What Else Effects Our Experience Of Reality?
What Rules Do You Have?						
The Illusion Of Control							
Real Emotions								
	Fear								
	Love								
Created Emotions							
The Challenge With Some Traditional Therapies				
Our Driving Needs							
The 4 Needs Of The Thinking Mind				
The 3 Needs Of The Higher Spiritual Self				
Addictions								
What Is Your Vehicle?						
Why We Try To Change?							

4  - Changing Your Experience Of Reality
Directing & Training The Mind						
The Importance Of Self-acceptance					
The Johari Window							
Be Your Authentic Self, No Matter What					
There Is No Right or Wrong, Good or Bad					
Positioning								
Craving Is The Cause Of Much Suffering					
Your Suffering Is In Your Struggle					
Surrendering Is The Solution						
Reacting vs. Responding							
Accept & Love Your Learning Experiences				
Your Relationships								

5 - Life & Spiritual Matters
What Is Life Really About?						
Your Purpose, Mission & Destiny Are Different			
What Is Reality?								
How We Perceive Our World						
The Collective Consciousness						
Freedom Of Choice - Free Will						
Your Guides and Their Purpose						
The ‘Real’ Secret							
The Waterfall							
Fear vs. Faith								
Understanding Karma							
Heaven and Hell							
What is Oneness?							
The Aero Bar							
What Is Deeksha (The Oneness Experience)			
The Power Of Silence							
Finding The Silence							
A Very Special Meditation					
   
6 - More Spiritual Clarity						
Understanding Energy							
What Is Awakening And Enlightenment?					
How To Be Truly Spiritual				
	The Impossibility of Enlightenment Through Effort			
How To Measure Your Spiritual Growth				
Enlightenment Is Not In Thought					
The Thinking House							
The Limits With Personal					
Spirituality and Money							
Can You Find The Feeling In The Journey?				
Physical Life and Physical Death						
Near-Death Experiences							
The Concept Of Time							
  
7 - What Does The Future Hold? 
I Believe There Are Pre-defined Times Of Change				
The Possible Golden Age 2011 - 2012					

Conclusion

Authors Note (Why I Wrote This Book)

I have been on a spiritual and learning path all my life, although I didn't know that for sure until about 12 years ago. I realized then that I had been living in virtually constant mental and emotional pain for as long as I could remember, with a very bad self-image and very low self-esteem. I seriously contemplated suicide at several points in my life More out of a desperate need to escape the mental torment, suffering and struggle that I now know I was inflicting on myself, than a desire to end my life. The one time I did try seriously to end my life, I received a remarkable gift (which I will share with you later), because it marked a turning point in my whole experience of how I perceived my reality. With the knowledge I have gained since then, I have been able to help many people remove their need to end their physical lives. 
We each have lessons we need to learn in order to progress and transcend our current state of being at any time. If I had succeeded in ending my life, the level of suffering and low awareness that I had at the time, would have been vibrationally carried with me. Meaning that I would have been stuck at that level, consigned to re-experience similar events at that level of consciousness, until I learned to grow beyond their influence, and that level of awareness. There is no escape from the overall journey we must go through to progress in our awareness. I now know I would have had to come back to do it all over again, in another physical incarnation, and still have to grow beyond my self created torment. I have now transcended that level of awareness and suffering, and I thank Creation for my past. I would not change one bit of it. It brought me to the place I am now, and I could not have arrived here in the same way without it. I see my past only as a gift, and not a curse or burden, as I once saw it. I no longer define or evaluate myself based on my past. My past no longer defines me. I define me, now, in each present moment. By becoming aware that I create my own reality, and also recognising that I am being guided through my necessary learning experiences, it allowed me to transcend my suffering. Now that my perception has changed to the degree it has, the quality of my future experiences have changed as well. 

I made a decision to write this book in a different way than I set out to write it. I could easily talk about all the subjects of nonexistence of the self and other physical things, and what it is like to experience beyond the conceptual thought processes that almost everyone functions through at the moment. However, for people to reach the point of being able to actually experience non-thought, in my opinion, there needs to be a breaking down of the strength of attachment to the thinking and imagining they experience at the moment. Otherwise all these experiences that are described by people who can truly experience them, will just confuse them and become more thinking concepts for those who are stuck in simply thinking and imagining. Just telling people where they need to be is one of the things that causes people to feel like they are inadequate in the first place, and this creates even more striving to achieve something different so they can escape themselves and their regular self-criticism. It is not possible to strive to get, or use effort, to experience freedom from the mind. It is a process of letting go and doing less, not getting or doing more. 
First there must be a form of integration of the physical minds. The thinking mind with the higher mind, which helps the thinking mind to experience in a way, or to indulge in the thinking, that first allows the mind to become more free to let you experience, and less scared, yet still meet the base needs of the fear driven thinking mind. It still allows freedom to happen with the mind so that the mind slowly lets go of its control a little bit more all the time, until eventually, you start to drift into truly experiencing, rather than experiencing through imagination. Then awakening may come to you, as you cannot go and find it.
Yes it is possible if someone is right on the edge of a shift in perception, hearing the descriptions of the experiences of beyond thinking may help them finally experience it, but at the time of writing this book, 99.9% of people reading it, or listening to those who are truly free of the mind, will unfortunately not be at that place. No matter how much they want to believe themselves to be. If you are measuring it, you are not. Anyone who has truly experience this shift in perception will tell you it is nothing like what they thought or imagined it would be like, so how can you work towards it with the wrong concepts or ideas? You can only create the imaginary version of it, and that will be based on incorrect concepts. This book will help you move beyond that which is binding you and keeping you trapped. 
What you will experience beyond thought cannot be explained, but what to be aware of through self inquiry etc., to allow that change to take place, is explainable. That is what this book is designed to help you with. Having said that, I give enough insights within these pages for those who are close to awakening to finally awaken from the dream and become free of their illusion of the self. First there is required a raising of how the self is perceived, and then a dissolving of the illusion of a self can take place. By the time you have finished this book, your mind will have enough information to allow it to let go of it's grip over you. How much you are still holding on to your thinking version of yourself, your conceptual self, will dictate if a true shift can take place now, or if it will have to wait for a trigger somewhere in your linear future to complete that shift. You have a choice (and making conscious choices is actually all you can do to help it anyway)

The problem is not that you measure and judge yourself, it is that you believe there is a self  to measure and judge.	

Once I had consciously made enough peace with my thinking mind — I became free of my thinking illusion of a self , I therefore then had freedom from the thinking mind. Now, I just use it to make choices. It's not chatting away all the time, measuring and evaluating my self based on what others may think, or what I do — what I should do — what I shouldn't do — how I should be — how I could be — or how I'm not the person I should be. All that's gone. All that's left in its place is peace, and a happiness that I could not even start to explain with words. 
I have come under some fire because what I teach is contrary to what is taught in the mainstream, and through traditional psychology etc, and even through people attached to the concepts of spirituality. What is within these pages could also be seen as a new version of psychology, which has never been shared publicly before. Please read the whole book, and then judge for yourself if these teachings are of value to you. Your experience of life is based on how you perceive the sequence of events, situations and interactions (experiences) called life. If you can truly grasp what I am saying within these pages, your perception in each moment will dramatically change, and also your perception of your past, your real self, and your version of reality. This will change your experience of this series of events called life, forever.

,bbm,b,mb

Foreword

I have experienced something that I believe I have a responsibility to share. For a time I struggled against what I saw as something I had a duty to share, yet I wanted to remain anonymous because I have no interest in significance or fame. I also realised that because I had experienced the ability to transcend my own suffering, I had discovered something that could help many people in the way I would have liked to be helped when I was suffering. Eventually I had to make a serious decision about it, and the morning the decision was made to write this book, I had an interesting experience which helped to convince me to go ahead and do it. I had been feeling the pressure to write building in me, along with the doubts that perhaps I was not the ideal spokesman? Climbing into the shower that morning, I stuck my hands in the air and said, "If you want me to write this book, then give me a sign. I surrender my struggle, just give me a sign. If I don't get one, I will not do it." I let go and forgot all about my request as I enjoyed my shower. Then when I walked through my bedroom door to get dressed, a secure framed photograph of the founder of the Oneness University in India, Bhagavan, fell off the wall onto my foot. I burst out laughing, and I knew in that moment what I needed to do. 
It is worth saying that most of the work I have done in the last twenty years, has been about learning, not teaching. I could not presume to impart advice I had not experienced first hand myself. Just as the best teachers are the ones who have experienced, in the most intense ways, and transcended, what they coach. You cannot really help someone if you have not walked in similar shoes, along similar ground. 
The more my awareness rose beyond normal thought, the more I wanted to help, to be part of helping to raise the global collective consciousness, and become the best servant to Mankind, Universal Influence, and Creation, I could be. I wanted to help create change in individuals, one at a time if needs be, and through books if necessary. So here it is, the fruits of my labors. I trust that by sharing with you in this book, I can help you to find as much peace, balance and awareness in your life as my journey has brought to me. I hope this book helps you to let go of whatever you are holding onto, and to surrender your conflicts and struggles. This will allow you to see that we are constantly guided, and cared for, by a higher intelligence, which is there to help, and not to punish. You will also be able to open yourself to experience your own awakening through your lack of attachments, and through practicing non-resistance, and true self-acceptance.

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Introduction
To be or not to be, that is the illusion!

There are only experiences and some choices - 
the rest is an illusion created by the perception of the psychological 'Self'.
Awakening is a 'Self'-less state. 

Everything you experience psychologically is a reflection of how you perceive, and that is all based on the Psychological Concept of a Self.
Happiness is just a thought away. Unfortunately so is sadness, disappointment, depression or fear. Which do you want to experience? Decide, and only give your conscious attention to the thoughts that will create that desired emotional outcome. Yes, it is a skill, and I will teach you this and other skills that will allow you to feel good all the time, but only if you consciously choose to. You already have most of these skills, and anything is difficult until it becomes easy. However, you are probably not using these skills to your advantage. In fact, you are probably using them to your disadvantage without even knowing it. Many people think they have minimal say, if any, about how they consciously think or feel. I will show you that this could not be further from the truth.

The only real problem we really have as a species is the amount of imagination we use, and the low quality of thinking we use to fuel that imagination!	

I will teach you how to redirect or consciously choose new thoughts, in a way that uplifts, supports and inspires you. If you don’t understand how your sub-conscious thinking works, and how it affects you, you will continually be a victim of it, no matter how awakened or enlightened you may perceive yourself to be. You must direct your conscious mind and cultivate high-level, optimistic and supportive thoughts, to be able to feel great all the time.  I’ll teach you what I call ‘Thought Replacement’, so you can feel however you want to feel, virtually all the time, simply by consciously thinking in ways that bring about those feelings you want to experience. The aim of this book is to teach you all you need to know to be able to feel good, all the time, and have no conflict over yourself. It will also teach you the skills needed to perceive your reality in the way you want to, and in a way that allows you to feel good and at peace consistently, no matter what is going on.
First, I have some questions. Are all your actions in every moment just a means to an end? Do you only get pleasure from distractions like money, sex, drugs, food, alcohol or getting a certain kind or level of attention from others? Is your prospect of fulfillment only in your hoped-for future outcomes, or desired achievements? Are you waiting for someone of the opposite sex, or even the same-sex, to come along and fulfill you? If the honest answer to any of these questions is yes, then you are going to be trapped in discomfort, at the very least, by your thinking mind. If you are obsessed with the past, or the future (which can only be the personal perception of the past projected into the future using imagination), and cannot enjoy the experience of the present, then you are suffering, whether you are ready to admit it to yourself or not. If your past is a burden you cannot leave behind, you are suffering needlessly. Your past also gives you an excuse to fail or to have low expectations. I will show you how to leave it behind you, where it should be, where you will never have to interact with it again, unless you choose to.
Almost all of the books I have read on spiritual awareness, come with the approach that ‘this is what it is like over here, and this is where you need to be’. Most people, for one reason or another, either don’t know how to get there, or don’t believe they deserve to be there. So although these books are great, they don’t meet most people where they are, and show them how to get to somewhere else. They tend to approach people from where ‘the writer’ is, and often the writer just seems to want to tell people what they know, without actually reaching out to help. Consequently, what they are talking about, especially spiritually, is nothing that can help people view themselves, or their immediate experience of life, differently. That, to me, is close to pointless.
I want you to be able to read this book and recognise where you are. Then, if you choose to, you can come on a journey of self-awareness that will set you free, without anything really having to change in you external world, outside of yourself, for that to happen. I have known for a long time that you need to meet people where they are, and not just tell them where they need to be. I wanted to write this book in a way that reaches out to everyone, and I realised some time ago that telling people what they need to do, is rarely effective. Because if they don't know why they do what they do, once the drive to do something different dissipates, which it will eventually, they will return to doing what they are conditioned to do, at some point, and not really understand why. This book will explain why you do the things you do, so you can be aware of them, and make choices that support you at a higher level. The mind does not want to suffer, but it is unaware that it is creating its own suffering. By showing it how it is creating that suffering itself, it will change on its own. That is why this information is so powerful.
The words in a book are always open to interpretation by your perception process. Recognise that your thinking mind can change the meaning of what you’re reading to suit where it is trying to keep you at that moment. I want to give you all the strategies and understandings that will help you raise beyond whatever level of awareness you have right now, and move to the next level. If you choose to open up to, and absorb, what is actually being said, rather than allowing your thinking mind to justify your old beliefs, and keep your old understandings, then you will move to higher levels of awareness in your thoughts and choices. Leading to more peace and happiness in your life. Trust that all will unfold as it needs to, and your awareness will grow at a speed that is comfortable to you. I strongly suggest reading this book at least twice.
I will do everything I can to help you achieve true freedom in your life. If you can experience the true meaning of what I am saying in these pages, you will no longer have to wait for someone to do something, or stop doing something, or for something to happen, or stop happening in your life, before you can feel good. I will show you how to take your experience of life back from all the people and situations you hand it to, without realising it. I also strongly suggest that you use this book for ‘you’. Apply the information to ‘you’. Not to someone else in your life that you may wish to change. As you change how you approach yourself, others will have to change the way they interact with you, because they will not be able to interact with you in the same way as before. Nor will you interact with them in the same way as before. You have to understand that you can never change another person. If you need one person to change, then there are probably a lot of other people in the world that will also need to change, in order for you to feel comfortable, or safe, or for you not to be at risk of being triggered (having your thinking-induced emotional pain brought to the surface). That kind of widespread change in other people, is not going to happen. Certainly not in the short term anyway. And if that change were to happen, it would have nothing to do with your need for others to change. Reading this book will show you how to experience peace, whether others change or not. That’s a far more empowering approach, wouldn’t you agree?
We are meant to be happy, but we create synthetic pain and unhappiness, through disempowering thought processes, assumptions and beliefs about ourselves. Many people actually believe that we are meant to suffer, and that through our suffering, we are then occasionally allowed to experience happiness. Or that our suffering (which is almost all created through our thoughts and approaches) will somehow bring with it salvation. For me, this idea could not be further from the truth. You think your way to rejection, sadness, stress, failure, depression, despair, being overwhelmed and so on, which can also bring on illnesses. Simply refusing consciously to indulge in those disempowering thought processes and approaches, and allowing yourself to move into a more right-brained awareness, will allow you to experience much higher-level expectations, reasoning and emotional experiences, and then you can experience happiness, joy and even bliss regularly.
I have also tried to remove the mysticism from awakening and enlightenment (a very overused word), by dialoguing the information in a way that the average Westerner should be able to relate to, and understand, at least as much as non thinking can be explained in a thinking way. I also decided that I would write about some subjects that come up frequently in coaching sessions, about life and its meaning etc, and about the questions people ask when I share the information within these pages. I have also added subjects I think are needed, to make sure you have all the information required to view yourself and your world differently, and experience a fantastic quality of life. This book also contains the teachings and information that I feel are most needed in our society today, as well as the insights that triggered the greatest shifts in my perception of myself, and reality. These can be applied to each and every area of your life, to bring you a different level of emotional experience, and a different reality experience. I want to help you gain awareness about how your thoughts affect you, and to have true awareness about your thinking processes.
My aim is to help you raise the quality of your thoughts to be more uplifting and inspiring. The thoughts I am talking about are thoughts of caring, understanding, respect, forgiveness, tolerance, peace, and compassion towards others, and yourself, and not just because those people agree with you, or treat you in a certain way. High-awareness thoughts are those that allow you to look for the best in yourself, in others, and in any situation or event. It’s about raising someone else’s esteem in your own eyes, and viewing them with the caring and belief that they may have never experienced before, giving you a good feeling about them, and more importantly, about yourself. Where your thoughts go, your emotions will follow, because your thoughts actually create them.
Higher conscious perception views life as a learning experience, full of uplifting lessons and inspiring challenges. Not as any kind of punishment or retribution system. It’s about the joy of giving and sharing, rather than getting or having. It’s about developing a curiosity about others, which allows you to see the best in people, events and situations. As well as acceptance and faith that the world is as it needs to be at that moment, yet moving collectively to a better level of existence, perception and experience. Consciously choosing thoughts that cause you to feel good personally, and that are also caring of the greater good. They open the way to a ‘community consciousness’ rather than just an awareness of self. Being pleased for other people’s successes and happiness, and being genuinely happy for those that seem more fortunate than you, are both signs of at least higher-level thinking.
Cultivating conscious thoughts of compassion and caring, of love and understanding, where the meaning you apply to any event, situation or interaction, gives you a reason to feel good, without thoughts of pity or other created emotions that bring you discomfort or turmoil. Direct your mind Consciously to only think or indulge thoughts that do not bring with them discomfort, struggle, torment or suffering. It is a way of conscious thinking that always looks for, and finds, the good in people, events, interactions and situation, and the best outcome and opportunity for learning in any situation. Most of all, high-level thinking that looks for and finds the best in you all of the time, because it is absolutely available to you. You are already complete, and exactly as you should be. You are already perfect.
I have mentioned the word suffering quite often, simply because to me, even the smallest level of conflict or discomfort created by your thought process, or over your perception of self, is actually causing a level of suffering. When you no longer have any challenges with your thinking, you’ll be able to see clearly how much your thoughts actually created, and still creates, the suffering, struggle and turmoil in your life. Many people have preconceived ideas of what suffering is, so throughout the book I will try to mention all the words that describe the feelings I’m talking about, in order to cover all possible interpretations. For now, let’s be clear: when you are in any level of mental or emotional discomfort, conflict or turmoil, you are suffering, and you absolutely do not need to be. Recognise if you have a reaction to this word, and then please step back from the reaction, so you can be open to understand what I’m actually saying. The real cause of all suffering associated with loneliness, aloneness, and separation, is our sense of separation from our higher self, universal influence, and as a result, our inability to experience our true Oneness.
I’m going to make a statement now that I’ve pretty much written this whole book to explain. 

This present moment is all that really exists & 
the quality of your life is how you feel right now, in this present moment!

Whether you agree right now or not, I will say this: how you feel is a choice you make, and probably all you sometimes truly have any kind of direct influence over in your life. If you are not choosing consciously, your subconscious conditioning is choosing for you. Do you honestly have any true reason to suffer right now? Right this moment? I am not talking about if you are holding onto the perception of your past or imagining a bad outcome in the future. I mean do you have any reason to actually suffer in this very moment? If not, then any discomfort or suffering you are experiencing right now, believe it or not, is created by your thinking describing it to you, and imagination combining  with that description, to give you the illusion of a real experience. Yes, you may have some challenges in your life at the moment, and if you looked at them differently, and described them to yourself in a more uplifting and supportive way, do you think you could change how you view them? Are those things actually physically present to affect you right this second? If not, you’re simply causing yourself to experience those things, using imagination, and suffering conflict, discomfort, or fear over them needlessly. I know these might sound like bold statements, but by the end of the book, you will understand what I’m talking about.
If you feel alone, you are at present trapped in the illusory experience of a solitary physical existence, by your thinking concept of yourself (who and what you think you are). You need to see that you are not your thinking, or your concept of yourself, and it is just a part of this physical experience you are having in this body. Your thinking mind is the servant that you have become slave to. I want you to know that no matter how badly you feel, it is not because you are of low value, or don’t deserve better, or that you are damaged or broken in any way. The reason, is simply that your thinking mind (your internal personal super-computer), using your concept of who you are, is perceive and describe yourself in a way that causes you to suffer, over, or about yourself. I will show you how to recognise what causes that suffering and those misunderstandings, and how to change the perceptions that bring these about.
When a child is naughty, it is not that the child is a naughty child. It is that the child is displaying what could be described as naughty behaviour. Behaviour is mostly a symptom of perception, and I will show you how behaviour can be changed, by consciously directing the mind, in a way that allows you to view and experience differently. Once your  perception changes, and your awareness raises, you will no longer need to indulge those behaviours. What is perceived as bad behaviour is often just low awareness of the better choices available in any moment. The better you feel consistently, and the better you truly feel about yourself, the better you will behave. The level of behavioral vibration you indulge in (as all thoughts that create behaviours are vibrations) will attract the same kind of vibrational level behaviour from others. I will show you how to change your vibration through a change in perception, so you can consistently feel better, and therefore attract better behaviour from the others around you. Ultimately, this means you will be given better solutions by universal influence, commonly known as inspiration.
You cannot use effort to change your base nature, or your pre-programmed characteristics, which were present when you entered this physical form, and are carried in with you from before your birth. The programming that came in your DNA for this life experience is firmly implanted in you. However, you can change your experience of life through changed perception, just not in the way you were traditionally taught. ‘Who’ or ‘what’ you truly are, and how you perceive yourself to be, through your thinking concept of yourself, are very different. You are far more than just your thinking mind and your thinking concept of yourself, and certainly more than your behaviour.
It always helps when something causes you to question your thoughts. Your best thinking got you to where you are now, and it will continue to keep you experiencing things in the way you are now, until you start directing your 'conscious' thinking, onto higher quality conscious thoughts, without judgement, on a regular basis. It is important that you are exposed to a different level of awareness, to help create shifts in your perception. You will not succeed a what I am teaching all the time, at least to start with, but often enough to allow you to feel good more often than you used to, and to help you shift in perception. This will give you evidence that it works, and then you can build on that. Awareness of what creates your experience of any moment will become progressively clearer to you, allowing you to regularly see that your perception of life is actually within your ability to influence, or change.
Just for clarity, when I am talking about my experiences in India and with ‘Oneness’, I am not talking about anything religious. It is purely a spiritually based encounter. However, if you are religious, what I am talking about will apply to you just as much. What I teach is non-denominational, and for every human being with a ‘thinking mind’. Some of the things I say in these pages will be challenging, and most of the time that is my desire. True movement in people usually starts with some kind of challenge to their concepts, thinking, or way of life, that causes a disruption in that thinking. I’m happy to be challenging you if this helps to create movement in you perception, and takes you to a higher level of awareness, and therefore to more freedom, and internal peace in your life.
I will share with you the conscious, and mostly subconscious process, we use to invite things into our life. You already indulge this process, but most of the time you’re not getting the kind of outcomes you believe you really want. Nonetheless, without a doubt, you are attracting or creating these outcomes. The internal experience of your perceived reality can be Consciously changed, or dissolved immediately, and you can decide what internal experience you want to have. If you are Conscious. However, requested external experiences can take some time to be delivered. Some can manifest very quickly, like wanting a sandwich. You simply make the decision, commit yourself to acquiring one, getting it yourself, and then eating it. Other outcomes can take some time. I call it the creations restaurant. You enter, then you look through the menu and decide what you want, as you do in life, often without knowing you are ordering, or what you are actually requesting. Once you have placed your order, you must wait for it to be brought into being by those responsible for creating it. Then, when the time is right, your order (experience) arrives. If it’s what you want, you accept it; if it’s not, and you have a level of personal value - self-esteem, you refuse it, and then reorder with clearer instructions about what you do want.
Marianne Williamson once said to a woman who was having relationships with men she thought were the wrong men, “the problem is not that you attract idiots, the problem is that you give them your phone number!” This is generally true of life experiences. People accept what comes to them as if it is the only choice they have. And even though they say they don't want these experiences, they indulge them. The same goes for feeling stuck in the situations of your life. What are you doing to outgrow the situations that you perceive yourself to be trapped in? You will always be growing, but not necessarily in the direction you want to grow. Are you doing just enough, or whatever it takes, to change the situations or perceptions you are experiencing? This is a choice you must make. You must commit to raising your own well-being, self-esteem and awareness of your true choices, as well as your perception of your true personal value, if you want to change the experience you’re having of yourself and your life.
When you truly transcend the thinking mind, you will have access to far more knowledge than is available in your normal thought process. This is known as Universal Intelligence. Through this you will have access to much higher levels of awareness and knowing. Awakening to high enough levels of awareness will change how you view life and the mind. When you can truly see the thinking mind for what it is, and you are no longer its slave, then you can perhaps blossom into enlightenment, and be free of the illusion of thinking forever.
Highly awakened people are clearly aware of their own ability to pretend and act. If they slip into egotistic behaviour because of old conditioning, they immediately recognise this and choose not to stay there. Most highly awakened or enlightened people are happy to stay unnoticed. Some choose to take the message to others, or are compelled to and become teachers. Not for recognition, but for the opportunity to truly help others, and they are drawn in a way that they cannot ignore, yet Truly expecting ‘nothing’ in return, not even a thank you. Unlike the thinking driven people, who are actually doing it to gain acceptance, from others, or themselves. Many people want to believe that they possess this same altruistic mind-set. However, it is almost always an attempt to be perceived in a certain way by others, or themselves. This is the pursuit of 'getting', and not truly 'giving'. However the thinking mind is the best liar you will ever have to deal with, and you may not genuinely know the difference.
Have no attachment to these words, awakening and enlightenment. Just see them as explaining a higher level of perception and awareness. Neither state of being will come to you until you have no attachment to either of them! You cannot go and get awakening or enlightenment. It will eventually come to you because you have let go of enough attachment to thought and your thinking concept of yourself. Remember this, life is constantly giving you what you require to awaken to new ways of approaching yourself and life, and awaken to new levels of self-awareness. Also Awakening cannot be explained to, or by, an un-awakened person, because there is no experiential reference point shared. 
Raising your quality of conscious thought, your perception of self-worth, the quality of your descriptions, and your quality of reasoning, as I will explain, will help you to feel good, whether you become awakened or not, and open the door a little more to these possibilities. However, be clear about this: you will not become awakened to high levels of awareness until you feel consistently and honestly good about yourself, with no judgement for or over yourself. You must first let go of your public perception of yourself (your need to perceive yourself, or be perceived by others, in a certain way), or if you suffer from it, your need to be perceived as awakened or enlightened, for it to happen.
Before you can truly start to experience the present moment fully, you need to first learn to 'consciously' think in a way that allows you to feel good most of the time. If you have not mastered your 'conscious' thinking process before trying to live in the moment, it will use imagination to distract you, and this will cause you discomfort. This book will teach you how to drastically adjust your 'conscious' thinking and perceptual process in your favour. Helping you to feel good, no matter what is happening around you, and helping you to experience the moment fully, and perhaps help you awakening from the dream of thinking and imagining.
When I speak of Creation, Universal Influence, Source, or The One, I mean whatever created everything, and is still creating and organising our lives in this physical world. Whatever you see as the Divine Creator, God, Universal Influence, or the ultimate organiser, that is what I am referring to in this book. I want to make it totally clear that all the information I give in this book is based on my beliefs, my understandings, intuition, concepts, opinions, perceptions and experiences. It is up to you to decide if what I say within these pages, holds any truth for you. Truth when it is not yours is still untruth to you. Also, if you find at any time that you have not been present whilst reading, go back a page, and start to consciously read it again from there. Give your conscious attention to remaining present and fully focused on what your are reading. Not only will this help you to learn more, it will also help you practise coming back into the experience of the present moment using your eyesight. The better you get at consciously focusing your awareness, the sooner you will have the skill to bring yourself more into the experience of the present moment, and experience what is right in front of you, and be able to more easily redirect your conscious thinking, and perception, to support you at a higher level.

I tend to talk a lot about the negative elements of the mind because as this relates to the self, we are reluctant to look at it. We always try to avoid seeing negative in ourselves, even if we constantly indulge in it to feel safe. It is required that you see this within your own psychology to become free of the concept of the self. I'm teaching you to become conscious so that new choices can be made, which will create new experiences, both of life, and the self.

Everyone who reads this book will experience life differently. Either a little or drastically different. Some will get glimpses of awakening that will trigger the process, and some who are ready may well awaken.

A vision without action is a fantasy, action without the vision is simply expending energy through effort, but action directed by vision and passion can change the experience of mankind forever.	

The self is innately unsatisfied because it cannot satisfy itself, nor can it find anything to satisfy it because it is an illusion, and allusions cannot be made real.

The concept of self has actually become a psychological illness. An insanity. What most psychologists would consider to be a normal person, is actually an insane person working hard to manage their insanity.

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What I Want To Share

I want you to know that there is really nothing that makes me any different to you. We are basically made the same. We have the same basic underlying operating system (primal mind) and thinking computer. Therefore, we should mostly experience this thing called life in predictably similar ways. About 24 years ago, at what I realise now was probably the lowest point in my life, my girlfriend at the time finished with me, and took up with another guy. The pain I inflicted on myself over my perceived worthlessness (a process I had indulged in many times in my life up to that point) was so unbearable, that I decided to end my suffering by ending my life. At the time I thought it was the only way for the pain to end. I sat down with a bottle of tablets and genuinely made the decision to end it all. Just as I was about to put them in my mouth, an unbelievable sense of calm and peace descended on me. It was an amazing feeling. At that moment, I had completely stopped focusing on my perceived problems and personal issues. I felt nothing but peace; my suffering was over. 
After what must have only been a minute or two, though it felt like much longer, I had still not taken the tablets, because in those moments, I did not need to. I was so unbelievably peaceful. Then an image of my parents seemed to be placed into my mind. It was so vivid and intense that it could not have been just a thought, and I know now that I was not meant to die at that point in my life. As I began to think about what my suicide would do to them, I abruptly realised that I couldn’t do it. My suffering returned immediately. Actually, initially it became worse, because I knew now that I no longer had the option of suicide as an escape from my suffering (or myself), and that felt worse. I had no escape anymore; I had to face my life, and myself. Looking back, I believe it was this moment that changed my direction in life forever. 
I realised also that although I had been hoping someone would, no one had ever come and rescued me, and I also knew then that nobody else actually could. It was solely up to me. I went from being a constant victim expecting to suffer until I ended it, and emerged with the realisation that I actually had to take responsibility for my own recovery. I actually had to get myself out of my suffering one way or another, or it would never end. I knew there had to be another way to be. I know now that my feelings of despair were actually all based on my perceived lack of self-worth at that time and the amount of criticism and internal violence I inflicted on myself. My experience of my self-generated reality up until that point had led me to believe that I was of no value, to myself or anyone else. This is something I now know to be just an illusion of the thinking mind, a concept, but unfortunately it is an assumption and a belief that far too many people suffer from to one degree or another, even those who think they don't. Why would a person feel the need to change to feel more acceptable if this were not going on in the background?

I realised I needed to improve the relationship with my 'self' because no-one else could do it for me.

First you need to experience freedom with/within the mind before you can experience freedom from the mind. You need to make friends with the mind (the concept of the self) before you can become free of it.

My attempted suicide gave me a taste of something completely different: a sense of absolute peace in spite of the fact that NOTHING around me or in my situations had changed in those moments, yet I had still experienced true peace. I first thought it was because I had made a decision to move on. However, if all my suffering been real, it should have taken my death for the pain to end. It didn’t, I was still alive whilst I experienced that peace. It happened without me having to die. How could that be possible if all my problems and challenges were actually real? I instinctively knew that experience of peace and balance must be available to me again without having to die, simply because I had definitely experienced it once already. Somehow I had achieved or experienced that absolute peace regardless of what had been going on in my life. I knew I had experienced something profound. Without knowing it, I had experienced freedom from ‘the thinking mind’ from an experiential perspective. My journey to self-acceptance began from that point. I immersed myself in understanding how my own mind functioned, and as a by-product, how other people’s minds functioned as well. My drive became “How do I experience that peace all the time?" And, up until three years ago, I was still asking myself the question, "How was it possible to experience true peace with nothing in my external world having to change?”
I now experience internal peace all the time — I clearly see and live the truth I somehow glimpsed in that moment, when I was right at the edge of life and death. I couldn’t comprehend it then, but looking back, the events and thoughts that caused me to suffer pain, turmoil and self-hatred, caused me suffering only because of how I was thinking about myself over them. My perceived lack of self-worth, my beliefs and expectations, my low quality of thinking, and the direction and quality of my reasoning at the time, all created my low level painful experiences. The things I believed about myself and expected for myself, what I focused on, asked myself questions or made statements about, and how I reasoned them out based on my expectations, beliefs and low self-worth created the ‘meaning’ I applied to the events, situations and interactions in my life. This in turn gave me my emotional experience of my perceived reality. 
I must admit, it took me many years to consistently live from this place of peace and self-acceptance, and to fully comprehend what had truly happened that day. It took many years for my thinking mind to re-pattern after having endured so much confused, conflicting and disempowering programming. I was basically dysfunctional when it came to my perception of my lack of self-worth, beliefs and expectations about myself and my approach to life and other people. I had a long way to go just to be ok, to have at least as much balance as a so-called normal person (whatever that is). I’m here to tell you that it happened, so it is absolutely possible for anyone. I started out with zero belief that I could, and I had an experience that showed me something more was possible. Now I am sharing my journey as a means to help enhance your opportunity to experience peace regularly. The fact that I can use my journey to do this makes it even more worthwhile. And no, for those wondering about it, you do not have to get so close to self-induced death to turn your perception around. Because I did, You have this book to help you. I did not.
I want to share with you this ability to be at peace regularly — how to have happiness, joy and perhaps even bliss on a regular basis — regardless of external stimulus. Most people aren’t looking for joy and bliss. In fact in my experience most people are just hoping for some peace of mind, and maybe a little occasional happiness. Many people have empty lives that seam full because of all the distractions they have created or that they surround themselves with. Most only ever experience what I call circumstantial happiness. Their external circumstances come into alignment in a way that allows them to experience what they consider to be happiness (which may just be satisfaction). It can only last while those circumstances prevail, which is rarely very long. Then they have to wait until circumstances allow them to feel that way again. True happiness has nothing to do with circumstances. It is something experienced because of an absence of turmoil or conflict within, and can be constantly present regardless of what is going on externally.
Talking about joy or bliss may cause some of you to disconnect and stop listening, perhaps because you believe you have heard it all before, or you may not believe that it actually exists. Indeed, a lot of people think that even if it does exist, they don’t deserve to experience it. I absolutely believe that every single one of us not only deserves to feel good, virtually all the time, but that we are actually meant to feel good. We are born able to experience bliss and conditioned out of it by the thinking mind learning to think, the best intentions of our family and relations, school, religion, society and society’s expectations, often in that order. Although I am not religious, I believe that what someone like Jesus was trying to teach us was how to feel good internally, and how to not need anything externally, or anyone else, to make us feel good. Not the multitude of ways to feel bad and fearful that society, school, church, and governments have been feeding us for generations. Why do you think people generally love children so much? Because they are so un-jaded, and they just love to be happy, and generally because they do not indulge in the disempowering thinking that adults indulge in. Not at a very young age anyway. Even if they feel bad they try generally try to enjoy themselves. They learn to disempower themselves as they get older. 

Watch children and relate to things as they do. As the mind develops, because it is basically a pain avoidance mechanism, it stops relating to anything that could cause even the smallest amount of discomfort and try to ignore it. This eventually causes you to be unable to relate to anything truly. Life is relationships to everything in your life, not just people, but situations, places, events and experiences.

Making judgements, and/or finding fault with yourself and others, can only come from some form of measurement and comparison. I will show you in detail how those comparison systems are set up in your thinking mind, so that you can decide if you want to keep feeding them or not. I will show you how to decide what you want to feel, and how to do what is necessary to feel that way whenever you want. I believe we are designed to feel good, and I’ll show how we have been designed in a way that allows us to ‘consciously choose’ to feel good whenever we want. I will also show you how we have been conditioned to feel bad, inadequate, or not enough, and how we have learned to perceive ourselves as less than others, and even ‘broken’ or ‘damaged’ in some cases. Mentally we have taken over the conditioning that we picked up or inherited early on in our lives, and now the thinking mind keeps us trapped in the disempowering states that have come about because of that conditioning. 
I believe that every living creature is driven to feel comfort and safety at the very least. No matter what creature it is, put it in a situation that will cause it discomfort and it will do what it can to return to a place of comfort. Look at every single person around you and see what each of them is trying to do. Regardless of what vehicle they use to meet their needs, or how badly they seem to be doing it, they are all trying to feel the best they know how to. Which depending on their level of awareness, may just be to avoid feeling worse than they are used to feeling. Even if they are choosing to feel bad, feeling bad probably causes them to feel some level of comfort, or at least safe in one way or another. Or it helps them to avoid feelings that cause them to feel unsafe. Whatever it is they are doing, they are still trying to feel the best way that they know how, or and believe they deserve.
Most of us know or have met people who are consistently complaining and telling stories about how badly life or someone else is treating them. They are clearly making themselves feel bad with their approaches, focus, stories and low quality of reasoning. No therapy would work without the underlying drive or desire to feel good. There are so many reasons to feel bad in this world and still we want to feel good. If we were truly programmed to feel bad, it would be easy to feel bad all of the time, and would not cause us torment. It would take no effort at all. Yet that is not the case for most. Yes there are those who feel bad all the time, but that is for different reasons and is sadly of their own making. It also takes a lot of effort to consistently feel bad. We are designed to feel good, and it actually takes very little effort to feel truly good when you let go of the things that cause you to feel bad. 
When you can really experience this, you will realise that it actually takes no effort to feel good. Unfortunately, feeling good is so difficult for many people that it may seem the other way around — that we are meant to feel bad and just ‘want’ to feel good. This is not true. The ability to feel good all the time is right in front of us, but we have been conditioned not to see it. All the same, we are driven to search for it. It’s like putting a dab of your favorite fragrance on the tip of your nose and then trying to find its source. You keep getting a whiff of it, and keep assuming that it is attached to someone or something else and not you. You find yourself continually searching for its source and never finding it because you’re looking everywhere other than where it actually is. It is right in front of you and has been all the time. 
What would you think if I said to you that your thinking mind, using imagination, has taken over your experience life, and that because of this, except for brief moments of fleeting happiness that sort of just happen when you aren’t expecting them, the best you can really expect to feel is occasional satisfaction? The rest of the time you can expect to feel not very good, or much worse. For some, you may even feel like you are living a personal hell part of the time, or even a lot of the time. What if I told you that you could get to a point where you are at peace and happy, and not at risk of being hooked into reaction or triggered by anyone or anything, no matter what happened? I’m not talking here about becoming emotionally cold or disconnected — the opposite in fact. To be able to be totally open to experience life fully, with no need for the fearfulness, defence or defensiveness that comes from thinking and imagining. To be able to choose when and what to think about, rather than constantly indulging in thinking and imagining all the time, and being at the mercy of your thinking. You could feel great virtually all of the time if you consciously choose to. Yes, there are times when you will feel strong emotions, but you can still have peace (an absence of internal conflict), even in those moments. Be honest, what is more important to you, protection or evolution?
There are higher levels of knowing that do not come from thinking. I guess one way I could put it is that the mind can change gears, only instead of changing gears, you can change your vibration and quality of thought which your reasoning uses to create meaning in any moment. No matter how comfortable or uncomfortable you are about yourself or your life right now, the information I’m sharing in this book can have a big impact on you, as it has for me and many others — if you choose to view it with an open mind, and choose to apply it to ‘yourself’! I have questioned life and my experience of reality for many years now. I have found many questions to be unanswerable at a thinking-mind level of understanding. One of many experiences that have caused me to question the validity of how we think happened one night when I was 15 or 16. I remember lying underneath the stars in the outback of Australia, where I spent the first half of my young life, looking up into the heavens and realising that my thought process does not hold the answers to some things. I remember my mind becoming very uncertain and therefore scared. 
One of the concepts that my mind holds as part of this physical experience is that beyond everything is something else. Look to your left — whatever you see, there is something beyond it. Beyond that is perhaps a wall, and then a space, and perhaps another wall, and then maybe a bigger space. My thinking concept of reality says that there always needs to be something beyond that last thing. The physical world can’t just stop and have nothing beyond it. As I looked up in the sky that night, however, I wondered to myself, “If there is something beyond something all the time, then where does space stop? And if it does stop, how can that be, and if it doesn’t stop, how can that be?” I remember my mind freaking out because it didn’t have the answer to two completely opposing streams of thinking logic. It could not logically dismiss what I could perceive. Looking back, I cherish the experience because it caused me to question my mind, or more precisely without realising it, my thinking mind.

(remove or change below)

It is clear to me now that these challenges have been around for thousands of years. Any question I can ask has probably been asked in some form multiple times in those thousands of years. An experience as I was finishing this book confirmed this to me. A friend who is a seeker came to me and asked about a passage in a book called ‘The Yoga Sutras’ (by Patanjali and translated by Swami Satchidananda). He was asking me about a particular passage, but he was unable to explain what it was. I asked him to show me the passage in the book and after I had given him my explanation of what I considered it to mean, I decided that it was worth including in the book. I have included below the translation of Swami Satchidananda, along with a Western-style explanation of what I believe is being said. 
Apparently this one passage is what the whole of the rest of the Yoga Sutras (see Resources section) are trying to explain in finer detail. I realised that one of the main reasons I wrote this book was to try to explain the very same concept, only in modern Western dialogue. Explanations of the same information have been done many times, I believe, in different ways, with different dialogues. I have never seen it dialogued in a Western way, although this may exist. Just to avoid confusion, Yoga as it is used here describes the practice of managing the mind to experience enlightenment. The physical practice of Yoga was apparently a much later addition.

(Sanskrit Original)

Yogas = Yoga; chitta = of the mind stuff;
vritti = modifications; nirodhah = restraint.

(This is the translation given by Patanjali)
The restraint of the modifications of the mind-stuff is Yoga

(This is the translation given by Swami Satchidananda)
If the restraint of the mental modifications is achieved one has reached the goal of yoga.

The Western thinking mind needs to have a complex, comprehensive explanation so that it can completely understand what is being said in order to evaluate its merits or threats. Otherwise, it will reject the information altogether, or give it a meaning that causes you to reject it, or adjust it to fit with the concepts you already have so the thinking mind stops you questing. That is why the simple explanations of the ancient teachers are mostly lost on the Westernised mind. Many people who read these simple explanations will find them interesting and desire to truly understand them, but probably without any true knowing of what they mean. Knowledge comes from information and knowing comes from experience. Experience brings understanding but understanding does not bring experience. Information brings knowledge and therefore conceptual understanding, but it cannot give the experience of that which you study. Information can bring cleverness but does not equal intelligence. Cleverness and intelligence cannot bring experience. Imagination can give the illusion of the experience but not the true experience of it. Smart logical thinking just creates the need for more smart logical thinking. Unfortunately, very, very few have truly experienced any more than a thinking, conceptual version of what they talk about in the areas of awakening and enlightenment. 

(My explanation)

Firstly, resist the subconscious thinking mind’s impulses to constantly focus on things in a fear-based way, or indulge in its running commentary of every moment using imagination. by directing your thoughts to use a high-level agenda and approach, so you can choose an uplifting focus, using high level reasoning and empowering beliefs and expectations, to cause you to feel good, optimistic, happy and uplifted. Direct it away from indulging in any memory of past or imaginary scary, fearful fantasy journeys into the future, judgement of self or others, or critical self-talk. Then, if you are able to keep bringing your awareness into the ‘experience’ of the present moment, and if you are ‘experiencing’ only what is actually happening right now, then you have achieved the goal of Yoga, and you have achieved peace with, and freedom from, ‘your thinking mind’.

(remove the above)

You also need to clearly know that the inner world and the outer world are different. Anything outside your physical self and your inner world is not of you; it should therefore not be used to define you, or define how you should feel. The external world is just the playing field that generates learning experiences. Your emotional experiences of that reality are totally based on your perceptions of it. What you perceive to be happening at any moment is based on the meaning or internal explanation that you are giving yourself (the story you are telling yourself) about the event, situation or interaction. An angry person is angry not because of external events, but because of the internal anger that has been generated by their self-dislike and self-abusive internal dialogue; it is simply triggered by an external event, situation or interaction, and projected using imagination onto that external event, situation or interaction. When you become totally clear about how this imagination based story-telling process happens, and are aware when and how it is starting, you can step in consciously to direct your mind in a way that will allow you to consciously redirect this the thinking onto something that allows you to feel good, regardless of the external stimulus.
I call this form of inner development ‘Present Moment Perceptual Awareness’ or ‘Present Moment Awareness’, and I will teach you all you need to know to change your perception of your internal and external reality. I call this ‘Perceptioneering’, which will help you consistently feel good or even great if you want to. You may find some of my concepts challenging at first, but please bear with it and me and continue reading. By the end of the book, all should become clear, and you will see how it all fits together.

It may be that the concept of the self was meant to develop and then dissolve at about 19 or 20, leaving us to truly experience life from the highest level, however, because it has become fully integrated with imagination, it has become far too strong and persistent for that to happen.

Perceptual truth - universal truth. Real to the self is a description of/by its own perception.

Ok, let’s get started.

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1 - An Introduction To Perception

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The Power Of The Present Moment

Right now is the present (the gift) and an opportunity for mastery of your perception of life. Yesterday is history (his-story, which should really be called ‘thestory’), and tomorrow is a mystery. Life is a mystery to be experienced, not solved. When you see a beautiful tree, do you need to know its name, or height, or what type of to wood it is to enjoy it? Once you give anything a label you only experience your description of it, not the actual experience of it.
Every passing moment is an opportunity to experience your life in a different way. The present moment is all we actually have. Even when we are off in psychological time using imagination, we do so in the present moment. We will never be here again in the same way, so this moment is precious. To truly be aware of the beauty of now, you must be present in this moment and unfettered by imagination. Everything is more beautiful if you realise you can never see or experience it this way again. This moment will never be more beautiful, nor this moment, nor this moment... Every new moment offers you the possibility to Consciously (if you are Conscious) redirect your perception and therefore the experience of your reality. Being in the moment is actually the experience of the moment, and not the thought of what it’s like to be in the moment, or being in imagination. The experience of the moment is mainly experienced through the right-brain experiential hemisphere, and the physical senses, not the left-brain thinking mind, or imagination. The left brain thinking mind is a result of the past and can therefore only generate thought and imagination based on the past. That's why it only relates to the past. Even the imaginary future can only be based on present thinking, and that is driven by past thinking. Unfortunately, our attention is usually on the imaginary experience created by thought, and not on the physical, experiential sensations of the moment. Being present means not being in, or using, imagination in anyway. It is imagination that takes you out of a moment and off into imaginary time. 

All your psychological, spiritual and existencial suffering is imagined and based on your incorrect concept of self	

When we let go of thought and imagination to engage in the physical experience of whatever is happening in the moment, time and everything else except the immediate experience of the present, disappears. This is when true happiness and joy can be experienced, as they are right-brain experiences, not left brain concepts. Become aware of the feeling of being ‘in your body’ every few seconds by focusing on the ‘feel’ of it — not the emotions, but the sensations of your physical self. When you experience the feeling of being in the body properly, that will bring you closer to your connection to the moment, and creation, and closer to being able to awaken fully. You can then feel free whilst still being within the physical body. If you need to, you can also use your senses (sight, sound, touch, smell and taste) to bring you out of your thinking mind and into the experience of your body. When you identify too closely with the thinking mind, you will just experience the human condition and probably feel trapped. Always try to have some or most of your attention on the physical experience of any moment. This is what I believe is meant by being grounded. A much higher level of resourcefulness is available to you when you are in the present moment. A racing driver can be concentrating so hard during high-speed racing that they basically enter a form of concentration meditation and starts to flow. Total focus on something generates Alpha brain waves, which cause you to feel more relaxed yet focused, and this accelerates learning and evaluation of information. Alpha brain waves also give you more opportunity to experience happiness. 
Focus on your senses to experience what is actually in front of you and come back to the experience of the moment. Use your eyes to see what is in front of you and focus on nothing else. Use your ears to listen to the sounds that are around you right now. Smell the smells and feel the air on your skin and the feel of your pulse. Fully experience your breathing. If you need to touch something, feel the material of your clothes, or the carpet or grass under your feet, or run your fingers over your own skin. These things will help bring you into the experience of the moment. They will allow you to experience the present, and therefore the happiness that is available to you outside of imagination in the present. By focusing on the experience of breathing, you can feel your connection to your inner body. When you breathe in, visualise yourself as breathing in white or golden light. Trust that this light is universal energy. Allow the light that you are breathing in to fill and permeate every cell of your body. See yourself aglow with this light. See it expanding around you a few feet from your body. Experience your body as a being of light and see it as healthy and clean within. This exercise can also help you ward off or clear up illness. 
Only this moment truly exists. Once this moment is gone, it is gone forever. You can only ever bring it back as a hollow, imagined representation of what it was. Trying to hold onto a moment will cause suffering. Reliving a moment in the hope of changing it will cause suffering. Whilst you are analysing the last moment or planning the next, you cannot be fully present in this moment. This moment is all that is real and if you are not experiencing it you do not exist. You cannot experience true happiness or joy in the past, nor in the future. If you do it can only be created by imagination, which is based on thinking. You can only truly experience it in the present moment. And that cannot be the creating of it in the present moment with imagination. The more you indulge past or future, the more you’ll have to indulge past or future. Presence in the moment dissolves the past and therefore the projection of the future, so practise being in the moment, and out of imagination of any form, whenever you can. 

You can be looking but not see, listening but not hear. Only being totally present in the moment will allow you to truly see, hear, and experience happiness.	

When you are truly in the present moment, you can look at something and see it for what it really is. You can make decisions and choices that would not be available to you if you were trapped in the chatter of past remembrances, the projection of imagined mental images, and indulgence of imagined future fantasies, or of thoughts of approval or disapproval. (By the way, when I use the words fantasy or fantasies, I refer to any imagined moment, event, situation or interaction. I want to make that clear because these words may carry meaning for some that could cause confusion about what I am actually saying, so please be clear on my meaning.) You cannot drive down the road looking in your rear vision mirror all the time, and not expect to have accidents. When you drive your car, you have to be fairly aware of what’s going on ‘now’ or you are in trouble! Why then would you expect to go through life looking behind you (at the past) or at places you have not reached yet (the future) and then be surprised when you keep having accidents (uncomfortable experiences) through lack of conscious awareness in the present? 
Experiencing the present holds a happiness that is not dependent on circumstances. Happiness, when you truly experience the moment, is true happiness. If you believe fulfillment is in the future, you will never experience it in the present. If you live through hope for the future, you do not live through faith in the present. You will always be focused on the future or trying to escape the past, and your hopes will lie in your fantasies about the future. You will never be truly happy. The only true way to be happy is to experience the present moment fully. Anything else depends on being somewhere else in mental or imagined time or waiting for some other time to arrive. Constantly indulging in an imagined future, whether it is better or worse than your present, is an illusion that will cause you to miss out on the experience of happiness available to you now. Let the future come to you. It will. Just focus on now. True success is how you feel, ‘now’, not how you will feel at some point of calendar time. If you can’t experience success now, then you will always believe that it is waiting at some point in the future that you will never actually reach. You will only get that fulfillment when you learn to experience it in the present. Right Now!
If you mostly live in the present, then the present moment is always an adventure, because you have no expectations (future imaginations) and no comparisons (evaluation against the perceived past). Everything can appear brand new, as if you’re experiencing it for the first time. If you don’t remember the last moment because you’re so focused on experiencing this moment, then you can be truly spontaneous. You truly understand that letting the last moment go will free you because it no longer truly exists. Most people spend their time trying to escape the present moment. They believe that their suffering is in experiencing the present moment, and somehow they can avoid the suffering by being somewhere else in thinking time. The suffering actually arises because you are not in, and experiencing, the present moment. It is partly that you are reliving the past or imagining the future, or creating a fantasy of the future based on the past that causes the struggle. Your whole time-line of life happens in present moments, and your whole life is a series of present moments, just as your whole past was a series of present moments. Everything that happened to you happened in a present moment.
Your life experience is not your life; it is your past. Your life is ‘now’ and it is up to you to decide what that is going to be like for you. You could not have truly experienced anything outside of the present moment. If you truly experienced it, then it happened in a present moment, not in the past, the future, or your imagination. If an event is not in the present moment, then it either no longer exists or has not yet come into existence. Nothing is real but the present moment. You need to really get this concept if you want to be truly happy. Your future has not happened yet, not in terms of your experience of this linear physical reality. Trying to live in the future will cause you discomfort at the very least. People who worry or are fearful all the time are constantly living in their negative imagined fantasies of the future. They may not even be aware of it, because they have been doing it for so long. Living in the future can only happen by using imagination, and you imagination is governed by the quality of your thinking now.
Your thinking mind is programmed to avoid pain. Therefore it is predisposed to imagine fear-based things, or to look for any pain or suffering that it can imagine in any future event, interaction or situation. Any imagined future will always have something to do with avoiding pain, either something in the future, or something you are experiencing now, or avoiding yourself, by wanting to be different or perceived differently. I often hear people say something like “I only see good things for myself in the future.” Why would you even need to do that if you had that happiness now? It’s only because you are not really happy now that you need to experience that happiness as a future fantasy. Transformation can take place in your life once you really understand that the past and the future are concepts used and created by the thinking mind indulging in imagination. When you are truly in the present moment, you can move to experiencing life through another part of the brain, the right hemisphere — the part that has far less to do with thinking, and much more of experiencing the moment as it happens.
The way we treat the past is very interesting, especially if something has happened in the past that has caused us to feel somehow wounded. Your present shapes your future, not the past, unless you use the past to shape the present. You cannot change the past. You can only change your perception of the present, and that changes the meaning you apply to your perception of the past in the present. The only place change can occur is now. When you get cut or physically wounded, you don’t go back to that injury at every opportunity and reopen it so it bleeds again, never letting it heal, and then say to people, “Look, this is why I am unhappy in the present, because I have this wound from the past.” It would sound ludicrous, wouldn’t it? Yet people do this all the time. Are you doing it, even a little? The past is gone and is now simply a series of electrical impulses stored in your memory banks depicting the events that occurred in your life ‘as you perceived them’ at the time. Your mind has taken all it needs from those events that it perceived to be of value for your future evaluation and survival. They are not emotions — they are merely electrical or digital renderings of a perceived event in your past story. There is nothing you can do about the past other than change your perception of it in the present, by changing your perception of you in the present. The past is no longer real unless you focus on it, and breathe life into the memory using imagination and with the same or a similar level of thought and vibration that created it.
Memories are really just stored in order that your thinking mind can use them to evaluate possible life-threatening situations in the present if needs be. You are already free of the past. Unless you call it up by remembering an experience and give it meaning that creates emotional suffering now, there is no reason for the past to affect you. You can summon up memories forever and the suffering you create for yourself over it will not stop until you stop going back there and using it as a way to suffer or define yourself. The emotions you experience when you look back at those events are generated and applied now by the meaning you give to the event in the present moment. The emotions do not come with the event. You create them by bringing the memory into your imagination and creating a meaning and the illusion of the experience over the perceived memory that causes you pain because of how your are perceiving now.
You may remember how you felt when you perceived it to happen, but the meaning you gave it back then was only a perception of what you thought it meant to you or about you then. The emotions you applied to it as it was happening were based on your level of perceived self-worth, your beliefs, expectations, your approach, agenda and focus at the time. In truth, you do not need to go to the past to resolve issues. You just need to change your perception of yourself in the present and your perception of the past will automatically change. Stored emotions trapped in the body are gone as soon as they are experienced, and you do not need to go and find them for your body to exorcise them when they are no longer being kept alive by your focus on them. They don’t reoccur over and over again. Don’t get them confused with the thinking mind re-experiencing memories and applying emotion to them. These are created emotion and not stored or trapped emotion in the body. I will go into this in more detail a bit later.Memories carry a particular level of thought vibration. As long as you are vibrating at that level of thought or close to it with your thoughts now, you will be able to experience that version of reality in the same way you perceived it then. Once you raise your level of vibration by adopting higher-level uplifting conscious thoughts and reasoning on a regular basis, you will no longer experience the past in the same way. Your vibration will have changed to transcend that level of thinking and will have stopped imagining those memories and creating the emotions over them that make you feel bad. I had so many things happen to me as a child that the victim complex was easy for me. Over my journey of raising awareness I have not looked back at most of those things, yet they no longer affect me in a negative way. That proves to me that I did not need to go back and re-experience these things in my past in order to transcend my suffering over them. By changing how I think about things, and the direction and quality of my reasoning now, I have changed my vibration so much that I perceive my past completely differently now. Everything is changed from this moment on. It cannot be changed from then. Life is perception. If perception of now changes perception of all other events changes too, past or future.
What about most of the moments in your life? Did you actually experience them? Or, as they were happening, were you dwelling in the past or fantasising about outcomes or situations in the future? If so, you were missing the experience that was available to you by actually being present in those moments. The present is the beginning, the middle and the end. It is all there is. Everything else is an illusion created by thought and imagination. I know people who sit in offices fantasising about being in the countryside. When they get to go to the countryside, they are thinking about what needs to be done in the office. Their mind always drags them from the present one way or another. It is not the surroundings that are the problem; it is where you are in mental time that is the problem. Where are you most often, in the past, the present or the future?
The only time you can be rich is now. Real richness and true wealth are not counted in dollars, but by how you ‘feel’ right now. When you can be fully grateful for what you already have — when you are happy just to be you — you are already rich. When you are happy just to be, there is no discomfort or struggle. There is only peace, no matter what stimulus you are subjected to from your external world. You can feel sad etc, but still be at peace. When you can truly just be, everything you want will manifest for you at some point, without having to struggle or strive for it. It brings a higher happiness because that is what you will have been feeling when you invited it into your life. Of course, this can only happen if you are present in the moment to invite it or experience it. Whether you like it or not, you are already getting what you truly expect to get. When you can be totally present in the moment, you already have total abundance. When you know there is richness in every moment, the focus is always on what is great in any moment, so practise cultivating this approach at every opportunity, and always look for what you can feel grateful for, especially with regard to yourself.
This moment holds absolutely everything you need. The present only contains the feelings of now. Both uplifting and disempowering emotions should be experienced in the moment, without adding to them with stories or imagination of course. Then they should be allowed to pass, so that the feelings from the next moments can be experienced fully as they arrive. This process brings with it true freedom, happiness and joy. Direct your approach and your focus towards whatever causes you to feel good, and in every second you can feel good. If you don’t feel good, look at what you are focusing on (giving your attention to), what your agenda is, and what you are saying to yourself. Then refocus in the next moment on something that causes you to feel good, so that you feel good in the next moment.
Always allow the last moment to become the past and over with as soon as you can. Memory is something that the thinking mind uses to hold you in the past. The more awakened you become, the less you will experience or be involved with memory. Memories are no longer important in the same way. Only now is important, not the past. You no longer project a memory impression onto what you’re seeing or experiencing now just because you have an impression of it stored in your memory from the first second of experiencing it. Your thinking mind uses these impressions and gives you the illusion of them being real using imagination, instead of continuing to see the real thing, so it can keep you out of experiencing the moment. If you allow it to do this, you will stay trapped in the internal ‘thinking and imagining’ loop I will go into detail  about later. Imagine if you were seeing your loved ones each time with no history, no preconceptions or expectations, no grudges or issues. Anything they did in the past that you perceived as hurtful has been let go, and you no longer carry a mental impression of those things with you. Do you think you would enjoy being with these people more? What if you really wanted to take the next step and decided to apply that strategy to looking at yourself with no history? Would you feel better about yourself? Deal only with the things that come up in any moment. If they don’t come up, you don’t need to deal with them, think about them, or give them any of your conscious attention.
The past manifests again each time you apply meaning to yourself because of the past, and when you focus on the past you apply meaning to yourself because of your past. By that, I mean that by perceiving yourself to have been a failure or to have failed at something at some point in the past, you assume that to be real now, and you invite the past back into your life and that affects your experience of the present. Even though this is a new day and you have more experience and knowledge now, the thinking mind is projecting how you perceived yourself then onto how you perceive yourself now. Define yourself from now, not from how you perceived yourself to be in the past. Living from now on, in the present moment, can free you from the past.
Pay attention to how you’re feeling. Your emotions give you clues as to where your attention is: past, present or future. When you are overtaken by thoughts of the past or future, you actually cease to exist in the present, and are instead living in your perceived memories or fearful future fantasies based on past remembrances. The more attention you give to the present moment, the more you will be able to hear or feel information that at one time you would not have been aware of. We receive so much information in any moment that virtually all your present-moment questions would be answered if you were truly present to experience in. If you could only just experience it, you would realise that there is information about all the things that are coming in the next moment and things you just can't imagine yet. There is far less reason to feel fear in the present moment than the thinking mind will convince you of. All the answers you seek at the level of awareness you are functioning at are at your disposal, but they’re only available when you are open to the present without imagination taking you elsewhere. Bring yourself into the present-moment experience. When you can do this, you do not need a teacher or some so-called guru to guide you.
Do not buy into the indoctrination that your connection to universal consciousness is through others. Worshipping someone else, as a follower, does not come from a high level of awareness. It is the needy or craving thinking that must be transcended in order to actually be open enough to access the divinity within yourself, and a follower mentality is needy and often desperate. You have everything you need already within you to connect to your concept of God, or whatever way you refer to universal consciousness, The One. You already have a direct line. You do not need a religious middleman or anyone else. The connection can only happen for you, through you, when you have total self-acceptance, and when you can be present in the moment most of the time. By all means, use other people as models to model higher quality thoughts and approaches than you may believe you have. I don’t mean more driven people, but people who are more peaceful and happy, who do not focus on money or possessions, or how they are perceived by others. Model what they do to achieve the emotional states that they achieve, and do it for you, not for the approval of others. Many people think or want to believe that they are already awakened or enlightened. When they drop this illusion created by their public identity (how they want to perceive themselves and how they want to be perceived by others), and their imagination, they may actually make the true transition to a higher awareness. Then they will know the difference between real and imagined, genuine and false awakening, but not until then.
The present, another name for the gift, is with you right now. When we resist, we prolong what needs to pass from our lives in order for us to move on. When we surrender and experience or let go of anything, it moves through and passes away quickly. When we resist they persist. Stay in the moment and experience whatever it has to offer. Even if what you are experiencing appears to be painful, and I don’t mean self-generated pain, and it will pass and be over. Acceptance is the only way to experience things and realise you have no need to be scared of them. They will come, and they will go, and then they will be over. We only resist experiences because we fear them. When you experience them, they will not be as you think, and they will be gone more quickly, leaving you with the gift of learning from the lesson presented. It will also show you that you have less to fear than you first thought and give you more evidence that true trust and faith is possible. Whatever the experience or fear, let it in. Let it be. Accept it with no label or judgement, and it will be over sooner. There is no carryover when you live in the moment. Once it’s over, it’s over forever, and then you are free to be open to new experiences. Just remember this: living and making decisions moment by moment allows you to be totally flexible and open to anything life offers without attachment or projection. Letting go of the thinking minds spell over you will free up so many resources that you will be able to spontaneously deal with anything life sends your way. Making moment-by-moment decisions becomes easy, much more effective, and enjoyable. Anything that seams impossible, if indulged in the right way in each present moment, will  soon just seam hard, and then easy, and then it can become enjoyable. 
Become present during any activity no matter how mundane. Just experience that task as if you had never done it before. The ‘you’ that will be experiencing this activity is separate from the thinking you. When you are simply experiencing the moment, you can be free of the thinking mind. You can be totally conscious while not interacting with any of the thoughts that your mind will continue to have. You must not be disconnected, but totally present in the moment, and not listening to, or interacting with, any of the internal chatter or, or away somewhere in your imagination. That is certainly difficult for most people all over the world now, and especially for the so-called civilised Western thinking mind.

The psychological person/self is an illusion, and the past is based on the experience of the psychological person, so there can be no true association to the past, as it was all illusion created by the concept itself.

Every moment is brand-new and the mystery.

External success is getting what you think you want. Internal success - happiness - is enjoying what you get.

The experiencing of anything is a gift, even pain and perceived suffering.

sdas

The Quality Of Your Life Is…

What gives you a good or bad quality of life? How you define the actually quality of your life, rather than your standard of living, is how you ‘feel’ in any moment! Your thinking mind dictates how you feel because your thoughts generate reasoning, your reasoning generates meaning and the meaning you apply to any stimulus generates your feelings (emotions), and your feelings dictate the quality of your moment by moment reality experience. So it’s actually how you think subconsciously, and if you can, consciously, that dictates your quality of life. Just to make sure it's clear, by quality, I’m not talking about standard or quality of living here; that’s materialism, external things. Everything you are searching for in terms of having things and stuff  (possessions, position, status etc), is based on the feeling that you subconsciously or consciously believe they will bring you by getting them. You can have many personal physical comforts, possessions and status, a good standard of living conditions, and still have a low quality moment by moment experience of life.
The quality of your life has nothing to do with what you own, have or don’t have, the status you do or don’t have, your goals or aspirations, your income or your physical skills, flaws, attributes or your appearance. It is not about who you’re in a relationship with, or what’s going on around you. It has nothing to do with your physical form, or anything that people think they need to have, do, or be. What you are really searching for is ultimately just to feel genuinely good and at peace. I have to assume that the feeling you are searching for in anything you do is ultimately a good feeling, or one you believe to be a good, uplifting and inspiring feeling. Even victims really want to feel happy and experience nice feelings, they just don’t know how to. Or the prospect of being happy and therefore vulnerable to the possible loss of those feelings scares them too much to allow themselves to experience them.
You can have the feelings you are searching for in those things at any time. You can have a great quality of life without any of the external things mentioned above. Many people who can’t have all or any of those things are often very happy. Therefore, happiness and many other high-level feelings can’t be associated simply with having or getting. Once you have a good quality of life, and believe you deserve it, a good quality of living will be attracted into your life. Don’t assume that just because you have lots of stuff, money, status etc, that you must have a good quality of life. Could you live without all of those things and possessions, money, fame, supportive public opinion, status, physical appearance or associations? Honestly? If you could not, then you cannot truly feel great now because you will be suffering some level of fear over the conscious or subconscious thoughts of losing them, whether you are aware of it or not. What I’ve been saying here might sound like a bold statement, but once you’ve read this book in its entirety, you should understand what I’m actually talking about. 
The quality of your life is how you really ‘feel’ in any moment, right now!
And that feeling is based on your internal perception and level of awareness: which is created by your perceived level of self-worth; your beliefs about yourself and the world outside of yourself, your perceived potential in any area - what you 'believe' you deserve or don't deserve, can or can't have etc; what you truly expect of and from yourself and the external world; your agenda or need in that you are trying to meet in that moment; your chosen approach; what you focus on (give you attention to); your questions, stories and statements to yourself and others; how you are reasoning/evaluating the perception you are creating, and the meaning you give to the things you perceive. In other words, your emotional or feeling ‘state’ depends on the story you’re telling yourself about what you are perceiving in that moment, and what your thinking mind decides it means to you, and more importantly, about you. This creates your emotional experience of everything in any moment of your life.

It should be obvious that we have the ability to manipulate our thoughts and cause ourselves to feel bad. Conversely then, we clearly also have the ability to manipulate our conscious thoughts to cause ourselves to feel good.	

If you are focusing on, and reasoning out, anything in your life in a way that causes you to feel good, uplifted, inspired, supported or great, then you have a good quality of life. Decide how you want to feel and focus (put your conscious attention) only on thoughts that allow you to feel that way. Only the thoughts, events, situations, interactions and objects you give your attention to in any moment actually exist for you. Nothing else exists for you in your version of reality in that moment. Use this knowledge to your advantage. Make sure that the only thoughts you focus on, or give your conscious attention to are ones that cause you to feel good. If the thought you focus on does not help you feel this way, then consciously focus on another thought, or onto something else that causes you to feel good. Otherwise you will get the emotional outcome that comes with those kinds of thoughts you want to move away from. Don't try to stop yourself thinking about something, consciously think about it in a different way or about something else, but don't try to stop thinking about anything. It doesn't work.
Your subconscious mind, and not your conscious mind, will dictate the quality of your life in any moment if you are not consciously choosing your thoughts and what you give your attention to. Remember, the quality of your life is how you ‘feel’ in any moment. So what is the quality of your life normally? How do you want to feel and how could you feel if you really wanted to? The feelings you are searching for are just a thought away. Choose carefully and change the quality of your moment by moment life right now. The only genuine control you will ever actually have in you life is in how you choose to perceive your reality. Are you doing that now in a way that causes you to feel inspired, uplifted and happy consistently? Or are you disappointed, frustrated, annoyed, anxious, conflicted, fearful and disempowered on a regular basis? The conscious choice of how you feel is yours, and you just need to realise it and practise consciously creating the quality of emotional life you truly desire.

The bigger the difference between what you perceive is, and what you perceive ought to be, the greater your suffering.

jkhjk

What Is Reality?

Reality is simply your perception of the sequence of presented events, situations and interactions, both internally and externally, called life, and your generated, created, imaginary versions of past, present and future. What is real and what is not? Reality is an individual experience for each person. How you perceive life and your reality will be different to how I perceive mine, simply because our journey, and the perceived experiences that populate the files and folders in our thinking mind perceptual computer, have been different. I could walk into a room with any number of people and whatever I say or do will be perceived and experienced differently in some way by each person. What I do is what I do — it is just a stimulus. How others perceive me or what I say or do depends on their perceptions of reality as seen through their beliefs, expectations, agenda/need, approach, focus, rules, questions, statements, description (the story they then generate), quality of reasoning, and the meaning they are creating over and about themselves over what they believe they are perceiving. 

You see the world as  ‘you’  are, and not as  ‘it’   is.	

Do you see now why the statement “they or you make me feel this way or that way” is an illogical statement? Someone may do or say something, but what that experience is like to you and how you describe to yourself what you perceive it to mean is based on your perception, not theirs. Have a look at the people all around you. When you are able to see clearly, you will be able to see (without judgement) how they are creating their own perception of reality, and see how they are experiencing what they expect to experience, and are getting what they truly expect to get out of life. This awareness is an amazing gift, because it means you will be more able to recognise these beliefs, expectations and approaches in yourself also. Use the information and strategies in this book to consciously change your perception and therefore how you experience yourself and your reality in any moment. Be clear that everyone you interact with is just a visiting stimulus in your version of reality, and you are just a visiting stimulus in theirs.

Your version of reality - You have an imaginary thinker (the concept of self) having an imaginary experience.

There is reality and actuality. Internal and external. Perception of reality is internal, the physical world, actuality, is external. However you must be clear that you only psychologically experience your version of reality. Only a wakened beings are able to experience actuality regularly. Others only experience of by accident.

Fact = real, or at least real to the perceiver. Reality is perception adjusted actuallity (external reality). A table may be there for me and you both, but how we percieve it is based on individual perception, how we describe it to our self, and what it means to or about out self...

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How We Perceive Our World

Take your television or, even better, your computer screen. The picture appears when a stream of information is received by your hardware (your computer monitor for this example) and this information is decoded by your software, and displayed to you visually using your hardware. What you actually see on your computer screen looks nothing like the information that is coming down the wires to your screen. It has to be deciphered and presented to you in a way you can perceive it. What decides what this holographic physical construct that we live in looks like? What is real? Your five senses are simply sending electrical impulses to the brain, so what you see, hear, feel, smell or taste are all just information sent to the mind that can be interpreted and adjusted in any way it chooses or believes it should. 
The external world, your environment, is just a stimulus to trigger your perception. Yes there is a physical construct that we all live in, made up of vibrating light frequencies that give the illusion of a real external reality. The thinking mind causes you to believe that it is actually there as you perceive it. For us, our experience of the physical world operates on pretty much the same principle as a computer. The Information that comes to our eyes and our other four physical senses is deciphered by different parts of our brain, and then sent to the thinking mind for evaluation. Your thinking mind has many filters that it uses to evaluate this information: beliefs, expectations, approach, agenda, motivations, needs, focus, rules, values,  reasoning, experience, needs etc. Consequently, each one of us will see reality either slightly or considerably differently than anyone else. In fact, because the physical world experience has to come to you through your internal software (your thinking mind’s programming), it can add or remove details based on what it wants you to perceive (based on trying to keep you safe), or what it decides it is perceiving. Everything has its own unique energy or frequency signature — and the thinking mind is responsible for interpreting how you perceive it, or if you even perceive it at all. 
As an example of this I have actually witnessed the removal of a human frequency signature. A hypnotist had a man stand on the stage and hypnotised him, and then he asked another man to stand on the stage facing the hypnotised man, about 10 feet away. Then he asked a woman to stand behind the second man, so the hypnotised man could barely see the woman behind the second man. These people did not know each other and the hypnotist knew none of them. The woman, who was furthest from the man being hypnotised and also blocked from his view, was holding a piece of paper in front of her. It had writing on it, and the writing was facing her, so the hypnotised man could not and had not seen it. The hypnotist told the hypnotised man that the man between him and the woman was not there: that he could not see him because he did not exist. He then asked the woman to turn the paper around while still keeping it concealed behind the man between them who was now invisible the the hypnotised man. The hypnotist then instructed the hypnotised man to read aloud the writing on the paper (that he should not have been able to see). He read out exactly what was written on the paper, having never seen it before, as if the man between them were not there blocking his view, even though he actually was. How?
This should not have been able to happen, right? Surely if he could not see the man, then everything behind him should have been blocked off from his view, or the thinking mind should have filled in the gap left by the man with what it ‘expected’ to see in his place. I suggest that the mind recognised the energy signature of the man in between and removed the vibrational data about him from the visual image, leaving all the rest there. It was as if the man had simply been moved completely. Everything else remained in detail. At the time, I found this phenomenon freaky, but not at all anymore. How many times have you looked for something that’s been right in front of your face and you couldn’t see it? Somehow your mind filtered it out, usually because you did not expect to see it, and you have convinced yourself it was not there one way or another. 
Perhaps you kept making the statement to yourself or someone else that “I can’t find it, I can’t find it” (an in-can’t-ation) and your thinking mind removed its signature to give you what you expected to get. The thinking mind will not want you to perceive it as a liar, and will give you what you believe you should be seeing, just to keep control of you. Perhaps another time you believed you saw something that wasn’t there. Is it too big a leap to believe that your mind could do the reverse — insert the energy signature of something that wasn’t actually there by projecting imagination onto your version of reality to convince you it was? Incantations and incan’tations (rehearsed statements) can strongly influence what your mind allows you to perceive. It sees what it expects to, and repetitive statements such as incantations tell the thinking mind what to expect, or what to look for. Therefore, be mindful of your repetitive statements and incantations, especially negative or disempowering in-can’t-ations.
Some drugs trigger a similar process in the mind and produce similar experiences of adding and removing energy signatures. For instance, LSD apparently creates visual effects that are absolutely real to the people experiencing them (I have never used it so I can’t confirm this). When these are pleasant images like bubbles of water that appear in front of their face, or cartoon characters that stand on their lap and interact with them in full-colour 3-D, they can feel like a good experience. However, when these holographic images are fear-generating, people can have very bad experiences, because they experience them as totally real. These drugs trigger a process in the mind that allows the user to see the energy signature of anything they can imagine projected in front of them. Now, these drugs could not trigger this ability unless it was possible to do so. It’s absolutely possible and people do it all the time. The example most people can probably relate to involves hearing. Hearing is filtered in the same way as all of the senses — by the perception process of the thinking mind. How many times have you said something to someone, or heard something said to someone, and they heard it completely differently, or you did? 
Often people experience weird and wonderful things simply because they expect to, and not because the stimuli are actually real. The mind, using imagination, has the ability to make anything seem absolutely real to you. The public identity can also put on a performance because it wants other people to perceive it as highly spiritual, and so you can perceive yourself as highly spiritually evolved, if this is what you think will bring you acceptance, or significance. It can absolutely fool you into believing you are experiencing what you crave to experience through thought and imagination, just to keep control of you. These experiences are usually mental constructs and not real, although the thinking mind will use the information that you've accumulated about what you think the experience would be like, your concept, to make it as real for you as possible, because it needs you to believe it to keep you under its influence and control. 
Understand that your perception is partly constructed and strongly affected by your expectation. I was watching a program the other day about a man who had been unable to see since he was about eight. He had a freak accident with some kind of electrical equipment that blinded him. Doctors had found a way to reconstruct his eyes so that he could see again after 40 years. What they weren’t prepared for, as this was the first operation of its kind, was that although he could see, a lot of his ability to decipher what he was seeing was not there. Even though he had binocular vision, which means he could see things slightly different physical perspectives (viewing points) through both eyes, which is what gives us depth perception or 3-D vision, he had no depth perception. If he came to a step, he was unable to see which part of the step was higher or lower than another, simply because his mind had not learned to decipher (describe to him) what it was seeing. This incident suggests the mind does not automatically understand, or have a construct for, what the eyes see. It therefore has the ability to render what it is seeing energetically or in its imagination in a completely different way than may occur in physical reality, actuality. We already know (or will know by the end of this book) that our beliefs, expectations, approach, needs, motivations, focus, dialogue and reasoning can have an unquestionable effect on what we experience. This is a perfect example of how important our perceptions are in creating what we ‘actually’ see and hear, and how we actually experience them. Seeing and hearing are actually just sound waves and light waves vibrating at certain frequencies and translated once they encounter your mind, which is now dominated by your thinking mind and imagination. 
You need to recognise that your emotional reactions are generated in you. Therefore, you have the ability to influence, at the very least, how you perceive an external stimulus. You have had this ability all your life and already use it to create your perceived experience of reality. Is it possible you perceived things in a different way than they really were, or are? Of course. That also means you have the clear ability to change how you perceive anything ‘now’. The movie 'The Matrix' shows how the computers have constructed a simulated environment that is convincing enough to fool the minds of the people plugged into it that it is totally real so they don't try to escape it. But it is still just a convincing illusion. So is your version of reality. 
As I see it, the matrix is actually the physical construct we live in, including your body as you perceive it. The thinking mind is part of this physical construct, and your attachment to thinking and imagining keeps you believing that you're thinking and your imagination are all that there is, and that's how it gets you to believe that this physical construct is all that exists. The Thinking MInd keeps you associated to this using imagination so you don't step away from the control of the thinking mind. 

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You Experience Only What Has Your Attention

If you focus on the experience of being cold, you will continue to experience being cold, because you are giving it your conscious attention. If you focus on something else whilst you are cold, giving it your full attention, at some point you will simply forget that you are cold. It does not mean that you’re no longer cold; it just means that you’re no longer ‘experiencing’ being cold. You only experience what you consciously or subconsciously focus on and give your attention. If you are not consciously choosing what to focus on, give your attention to, then your subconscious thinking mind is choosing for you, and remember that its basic underlying purpose is to protect you so it's default approach and focus is to look for the possibility of pain in any event, situation or interaction. So it will always subconsciously indulge in pain or pain avoidance thinking in some form or another.
Here is an exercise for you. I suggest listing all of the emotions you experience in a week of your life. Then, select the five you experience the most frequently, and work out what you are focusing on or how you are approaching and focusing on events, situations or interactions to create or cause these emotions. If you can’t do this, work out what you would ‘need’ to focus on, and how you would need to approach it to experience those particular emotions. This exercise will give you some clarity about why you regularly feel the way you do. Remember, you experience these emotions not because you deserve them, but because you generate them using the cycles I will show you in this book. The exercise will also give you more awareness of choices around whether you want to carry on generating those emotions or not. Emotions are the basis of your experience of life. Choose the ones you want to feel, and focus on, or give your attention to, only those things which will create them in this moment. Continue to do so in every moment, and you will have an amazing experience of life.

Always focus on something uplifting and emotionally elevating to you, or focus on whatever already has your attention in an uplifting and supportive way.	

It is very important that you understand this: If you totally identify with your perceived problems and challenges, your experience of life becomes the experiencing of your perceived problems and challenges, so they become your experience of reality, and you therefore cannot escape them. I ask you to consider this. How long do you carry an event, situation or interaction with you? An event etc, or how you approach and focus on an it, can cause chemicals to be released into your body that generate a physiological response, adrenalin etc. The chemicals released because of the initial stimulus really only last about two minutes. Therefore, the real answer to my question should be “no more than two minutes” after the physical stimulus has ended. The actual physical effects leave your system quickly, unless you keep re-running the event etc in your thinking mind, and re-stimulating the chemical response using your imagination. Therefore, if you let go of your need to re-run the event and your attachment to it or a particular outcome you didn't get, it should take no longer than two minutes after the event, interaction or situation has physically ended, to be free of it, and completely change your state to get back to feeling good. 
Let’s say someone cuts in front of your car and you perhaps have a verbal exchange. How long, and how many times, do you re-run this event? You may re-run it slightly differently each time, trying to get a different outcome so that your public identity, your so-called ego, can allow you to feel better, or you may have another motivation for changing the event each time in your imagination, perhaps fear. Become conscious of how many more events or experiences like the original event this generates based on the fact that it is being held in your focus and continues to trigger imagination whilst you go about your day, attracting more experiences to you. We don't just get the future, we help to create it. Make no mistake: your attention on anything certainly creates or attracts more of the same. When you focus on how much you enjoy something, you attract and generate events and situations that allow you to experience those same feelings. When you focus on how much you dislike something, you attract more of those same experiences. You also prepare and sensitise yourself to feel that way. How do you approach events, situation and interactions, from an optimistic or pessimistic perspective? What do you choose to focus on consistently? Based on the evidence shown by your answer, how then do you really want, or expect, to feel consistently? It may be different than you originally thought, but be honest, if only with yourself.
If you can recognise that your thoughts are causing you to feel disappointed, unhappy, uncomfortable or helpless, and you don’t know how to stop, simply start thinking of the opposite of what you are thinking about and give it your full attention. When you give your full attention to those new thoughts, you stand a better chance of feeling good than you did while thinking the opposite, disempowering thought, and this helps to attract the new experience also. When you are learning to ride a bike or drive a car, are you focusing on the way you succeed, or are you focusing on every bump in the road and every curb you catch? How good a rider or driver do you think you would be if you only focused on everything you perceived yourself to have done wrong? How inspired to ride or drive do you think you would be if you did that? How much more of the same experiences do you think you would attract? How many so-called bad things do you see happening to awakened or enlightened people? How many bad things do you hear them talking about when it comes to their experiences of life? They simply do not attract them, because they do not focus on, or expect to have, disempowering experiences, so they don't attract them.
Here’s an exercise for you. Make a list of all the things you could focus on, if you wanted to, that would create a good feeling in you. Answers could include people, places, interactions with loved ones, pets, outcomes, or even sitting on the beach right now. Next, include other uplifting or empowering ways you could focus on the things that normally cause you discomfort, if you wanted to, that would allow you to feel good, or at least, less uncomfortable about them. Then add the things you could focus on that you may not have focused on before, that could allow you to experience a good feeling — objects as well as events, situations or interactions, like a new car, clothes or toys, and anything you can be grateful for. You are making a list that you can carry around with you to help you practise feeling good when you perhaps don’t. Every time you start experiencing a memory, or something you really don’t want to think about, take out your list and focus on one of those items completely. Imagine it. Get emotionally involved with it. Make it your only conscious experience of reality for that moment by giving it your full attention, and you will have a good quality of life in that moment. 
Once something has your full focus, your full attention, nothing else can consciously exist in your perception. If you can’t completely focus on just one of the items on your list, start running through them all. Fill up your conscious focus with those things so there is no room for anything else. Use your ability to consciously apply your attention in your favor, rather than letting your subconscious mind decide what or how you’re going to apply your full attention. Just make sure you come back into the present moment as soon as you can. Bring those good feelings with you and then focus on how good they feel. If you must, keep describing to yourself how great you feel with as much excited emotional intensity as you can generate, and you will feel even better. 

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The Importance Of Becoming Conscious

Non-consciousness - functioning from a non-consciously aware perspective.

Being Conscious implies the ability to make a choice as the process is being observed by a higher level of physical mind.

Truly experiencing anything takes you beyond the need to judge it.

The more conscious you become, the less you can deny that there is a much higher organisational awareness making life happen around you, and to you

Without realising it almost everybody is functioning through the consciousness or thinking level of a seven-year-old child at best. I will explain this in detail but it is Very important to understand. Until you become conscious, this will continue you to be where your mind functions from.

You have more choices than more conscious you become, but you still only have the choices that creation presents to you. You cannot choose your choices no matter how hard you might try. You can only see the choices your level of perception will allow you to see.

Once true consciousness breaks through the fake consciousness of thinking in imagining, the illusion of the self can no longer live in the same way and will therefore dissipate and dissolve.

The awareness behind consciousness is what makes experiencing possible. However true experiencing is not possible whilst the illusary fake consciousness of thinking and imagining is dominant.

Experiential right brain, experiencing and conscious thought.

We have a thought sphere that carries all our thoughts, so we need to be conscious that our thoughts create experiences, and where we can, consciously make choices that give our attention to uplifting and supportive thoughts, we can experience differently.

The lower the consciousness and more primal the behaviour.

When you become conscious you will be able to hear the mind thinking I am like this or I am this, and I should be this, all like this instead.

When you become conscious enough, consciousness, thinking and imagination separate, and the false thinking consciousness collapses. The self dissolves. From that point on, nothing can be personal, because there is no person could take anything personally.

The recognition that you are thinking is the right physical brain observing the left physical brain, it is not higher consciousness. It is simply consciousness created by one physical mind watching the other. Actually everyone is self-aware to a point, because they are aware that there is more than one 'person' or 'self' talking internally, arguing, commenting etc., fighting to have its needs met.

The conscious mind, the right brain, can process 2000 bits of information per second. The subconscious mind however, can process 2 million times more. This, combined with imagination, is why the subconscious mind is so much more powerful at controlling your experience in any moment. This is also why, if you are giving something conscious attention, you can only experience what has your conscious attention, becauase it only has limited resources. When you become consistently conscious, all the other things that have none of your coscious attention dissapear, and the experience of what you choose to give your attention to is all there is. 

It is only when you truly give up the search for awakening that it can appear. Let go and be aware. It is about being aware and conscious, not striving or getting. Pretending to be awakened, consciously or non-consciously, is a lower awareness than 'genuinely' accepting that you are not. Become truly conscious that you are not, and this will move you faster towards the true experience of it.

We actually need to awaken in several ways to become truly conscious beyond the physical self.

Being conscious implies being able to make a choice. Being aware implies just observing. Awareness is just the experience, whereas being conscious means there is still some form of measurement or evaluation going on.

True silence is not the absence of sound, is the absence of turmoil that allows the true experience of the moment.

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	Self Enquiry
Self Enquiry is really about listening to your thinking and asking yourself questions about your thinking that give you some clarity and awareness about the thinking processes going on in you at any moment. 

most people are almost completely unaware of these subconscious processes of thinking and imagining going on.

It is important that you see, it is important you have awareness of how you function. That's why self inquiry is so important; but it's not self inquiry that then has judgment following, it's self inquiry without judgment. The mind will still measure and do what it needs to do, but if there's no judgment or there is no outcome of judgment which is self criticism, punishment, let the mind do what it does and forgive yourself. Be kind to yourself. But inquiry, self inquiry is important, because we are drawn to constant growth; but it is not constant growth to try to become something else, it is constant growth because everything is required to move, everything is required to be different, nothing can be the same again. That's why it's important that things move, because of the learning experience for the one. So self inquiry seems very important. I've listened to people who have been triggered heavily by something but saying “oh, I'm just experiencing the bliss and the joy of it” with complete blindness to what's happening. To me that's in a way that's denial; it is pretending is one thing when actually something else is going on. That is still not experiencing what is going on, that is still trying to be different. That is an enforced acting out of something else to try to convince yourself or possibly others that something is different. It is important again self inquiry, it is important that you see, you have awareness of what's happening with you in any moment. That's what level of awareness is; what's going on with you or to you. The body, the mind… is not the true you, but it's the you that is in this physical form. It is the thinking you, the thinking version of you which is completely different to the real you.  

Inner inquiry is about looking for the truth within you about how you perceive and how you are creating your perception in that moment. It is not about trying find a way to plug the gap there's ahead so that you can get certainty again. Inner inquiry is really about going into the uncertainty and waiting, listening to see if something new appears that you weren't aware of before. It is about rising awareness, it is about recognizing something that you weren't aware of before that is part of your programming and conditioning that creates your perception now. 

Self Enquiry - Self enquiry is really about becoming intensely aware of the different versions of self internally, and all their attachments like self-centredness etc.

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Heaven and Hell

I recently heard a debate on television (actually an argument) about who or what is the devil, and what is Hell. The speaker’s description of the Devil from the Bible was ‘a fallen angel’. Now, it strikes me that it is possible that in a very highly aware state, we could be classed as or called angels. Mother Teresa would have been described as one, for example. Meanwhile, someone who has fallen from an ‘aware’ state and been totally overtaken by the thinking mind, could certainly be considered a ‘fallen angel’. Their actions would be based on their use of the thinking mind, or how it uses them. Therefore, couldn’t the devil really be ‘the thinking mind’ itself? Isn’t saying, “The Devil made me do it” actually saying my thinking made me do it?
I personally believe that Heaven and Hell are the experiences of perception and therefore are an individual’s experience of their perceived reality. They are a result of your level of vibration and the experience of reality that your thoughts, beliefs, expectations, needs, approach, focus and reasoning create. An extremely low level of thinking and reasoning awareness, i.e. being totally governed by your thinking mind and your low concept of self, will produce a reality that is akin to the experience of Hell. Heaven, on the other hand, I consider to be the feelings I experience regularly, simply by making peace with my thinking mind and stepping away from it as often as possible, in order to fully experience the present moment, and be happy and at peace. Being able to experience eating a banana and drinking a glass of water, completely present, by being totally involved in the experience of it, with no imagination at all involved, is a heavenly experience. Any experience from this place, with no interference from the thinking mind using imagination, can be experienced as absolute happiness and joy. When the thinking and imagining is not interfering and causing discomfort, because you have made peace with yourself and accepted yourself as you are, all that is left to experience in the moment is happiness and joy.
Surely Heaven and Hell are descriptions of feeling outcomes and experiences created by a beliefs, expectations, approach, motivation, focus and reasoning, not mythical places used to keep people in conformity through fear. Heaven is a state we reach when we consistently think quality, highly supportive and inspiring, high-vibrational thoughts, and create perceptions using high level approaches that engender higher, optimistic reasoning, which then allow us to let go of thinking concepts, and just experience the moment fully, without any measurement, evaluation or judgement. Conversely, Hell is generated by low-quality, disruptive, vengeful, angry, self critical thoughts, judgements and approaches. I think the concepts of Heaven and Hell have been used by religious leaders for centuries as tools to get people to conform to their will, perhaps for what they believed to be the right reasons, perhaps not. Now, however, many people are starting to realise that Hell in particular, is actually just a state of being on the physical plane of existence, although they may not yet dialogue it like that. Once you can step away from the thinking mind and imagination, you will be able to experience the Heaven I am talking about on a regular basis, and avoid any self-created Hell created by your own internal violence. We all have moments of Heaven. For most people, they are very fleeting and happen in moments when the thinking mind is distracted — essentially, most people only fully experience the present moment by accident.
On a practical level, if you can raise your level of thinking awareness and reasoning, you will encounter more opportunities to experience this state called Heaven, and decrease your tendency to gravitate towards a state of Hell, which is just generated by disempowering perception brought about by indulging in low quality thoughts and approaches that create pessimistic reasoning. Pleasure and pain are just the outcomes of your perceptual approach to yourself, others and life, but mainly yourself. The more you are separated from the experience of Oneness and feel separate or alone through self-dislike, the greater your likelihood of experiencing Hell.

If you make where you are, who you are, how you are wrong in any moment, you are in trouble and you will suffer.

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A Dramatic Shift In Perception & Awareness
Now I will jump to the more recent past. About 7 years ago, I got involved with Tony Robbins, probably the best known, and without doubt the best personal development coach in the world — first as a participant at his life-changing seminars, and then as part of his senior seminar mentoring team. Through my involvement with Tony, I found out about a process that had started coming out of India called “Deeksha”,also called “The Oneness Experience” or "The Oneness Blessing", which Tony had started to embrace as the next step of his own journey. I will go into detail about Deeksha later, but the full effect of looking into it really opened my life up to an even higher level of perception, awareness and consciousness.
That journey came about because I did something for Tony and his organisation that allowed several influential young people from Israel and Palestine to attend an event in Fiji being held at Tony’s resort. In return for doing this, and escorting them back to Jordan after the event, Tony invited me to Fiji to attend the first ever Oneness event held there. It was a one-off event which the founder of the Oneness University, Bhagavan, and his wife Amma, both attended, with nine or ten of the top guides from India accompanying them. In attendance was Krishna Ji, who is the son of Bhagavan, and the first to receive the ability to channel
Deeksha energy. He performed a hands-on initiation for all the participants there, which was apparently a rare event, and truly an honour to be a part of, and the beginning of a whirlwind of change for me personally. Whilst I was in Fiji, a statement was made to me by Ananda Giri Ji that started me on a strong quest: “To be truly happy and at peace, you need freedom from the mind.” Now, you may or may not be experiencing something similar to what I experienced when I heard these statements for the first time, bearing in mind that you have seen the title of this book before hearing this. I knew that I needed to listen to this man because I knew instinctively that he was wise and knowledgeable. At the same time, my thinking mind could not grasp what he was talking about, so I became confused. 
Being confused just means your thinking mind is looking for a solution to something that it has not had to assimilate or evaluate in the same way before. It is looking for a solution that at present is outside of its current ‘thinking’. Confusion is a good thing to experience, because it opens you up to new possibilities in your perception and awareness as the thinking mind has to open up to the higher mind to get answers so it can return to having some certainty, one of its strongest drives. As long as you open up to learning something using higher reasoning to find a solution, confusion is often the first step toward greater understanding in that area. 
I could not truly understand his statement from where I was at the time, but it felt profound. Somehow I knew this was going to be very important to me, and it would eventually prove to be the catalyst that would lead me to a completely new level of perception and awareness about what I really am and about this physical experience called life, and it changed my experience of my reality forever. It set me on a journey of questioning that also allowed me to arrive at an understanding, in Western terms, that now allows me to help other westerners have true peace and balance in their lives. 
I had already booked to go to India for the first Oneness course, and as it turned out (by coincidence if you believe there is such a thing, or by Universal Organisation) the event in Fiji started about nine days before the event I was booked onto in India. So we basically changed my flights and the timing was perfect to go straight from Fiji to Jordan, and then straight to India in perfect time for the next course. So I was clearly meant to be immersed in this environment, and to have significant change brought about within me. Once on the campus, Ananda Giri Ji, one of the top three guides in India and the one who made the statement to me about needing freedom from the mind, requested that they put me straight into what they call ‘the deepening’, the level two course, which at the time lasted ten days. Another unusual and unexpected turn of events as they usually require a gap of 6 months to elapse between the level one and the level two course, but they put me straight in to continue and to deepen my process. 
My questioning had started in earnest even before I left Fiji, and it continued as soon as I arrived in India, with constant questions such as “How can I have freedom from the mind?” and “Do I actually want that?” "My mind is so valuable to me. I have worked hard all my life to be intelligent and have a good, strong mind. Why would I want to lose that?" I could not have been more wrong with this thought process. However, I had no true concept of that at the time. In India, I cornered my Dassa (Oneness guide), Rajeev Ji, as soon as I could and questioned him. I still remember the conversations. One of the things he said was “When we have freedom from the mind, there is no emotional reaction.” I was already fairly aware that a lot of the problems we have, especially when dealing with other people, come about because we react. A ‘reaction’ is usually driven by fear and what I defined at the time as ego. It is very different to a “response”. 
I went away to contemplate this freedom from the mind statement, and came to the logical conclusion, based on the only information available to me at the time - my thinking, that what he was talking about was ‘freedom from emotional reaction’ and not actually freedom from the mind. So I went to Rajeev Ji and told him what I thought. He smiled and said, “When you have freedom from the mind, you also have freedom from emotional reaction, so it is not just freedom from reaction.” I went away disappointed that I had not discovered the answer and spent days coming up with more ‘thinking’ solutions and concepts, without success.
I finally reached a point where I was getting frustrated and upset and it became so intense that my thinking mind finally said, “Ok, I have done my best and have no answer, so I surrender”, and I truly meant it! Meanwhile, my higher-level right-brain reasoning was still at work. Because of the way I was looking for the answer, and because my reasoning was looking in higher places than my thinking intellect, it was going to find an answer eventually. (I didn’t know that then, but looking back I can clearly see it now.) I went over to join in at the Indian campus where the local Indian people went to learn about and receive Deeksha. On my way, I had a dramatic shift in perception. I know now that because I had let go of the thinking quest I had been on and surrendered my attachment to it, I was open to receive information about it, as well as having reached a point of awareness where I could honestly do that. 
I had something I can only describe as an out-of-head experience: I saw my mind splitting up in front of my face like a hologram, and distinct parts of the brain showing themselves to me. It took my breath away. I suddenly saw that we have more than one mind. As it separated in front of me, I could clearly see the ‘thinking’ part, which immediately afterwards, when it had sunk in, I called ‘the functional mind’ because I saw it as the part of the mind that this physical body needs to function and survive in the physical world. The mind that evaluates the information sent by our senses and imagination (which comes from another part of the brain) and allows us to interact with, and in, the physical world in a way that allows us to survive and thrive physically. The part that tries to keep us safe. It is also the part of our mind that measures, judges, evaluates and makes decisions to keep us out of danger and keep us alive. I believe this to be the first and most ancient computer ever made. 
I could also see the rest of the left and right-brain structure without knowing much at the time about what parts I was seeing. I was just absolutely amazed to realise that we have more than one mind. 
This vision & the realisations that followed blew me away!

It turns out that my perception of my reality is just a figment of my own imagination.	

I suddenly knew what they were talking about. It was as if something was unlocked for me in that moment. A separation within my mind had taken place, or really a separation within this physical form, and I was now more than just self-aware. I was now experiencing myself as something I could only describe at the time as ancient and much more than this physical entity. Something separate from this physical body and this thinking concept of this physical self. My perception and awareness went to a completely new level. This was no longer my mind or my body. I realised that it is just the vehicle through which I am experiencing this physical illusion called life. I can only compare the experience to that of waking up in the morning after having a very lucid dream, and knowing that although the dream was very convincingly real, it was only a dream, and that I can never now return to the dream because I have seen it is just an illusion. What I was now aware of was real and how I used to think and perceive myself, my concept of self and therefore reality, was just a waking dream. I realised that my whole life had been lived it in a dream state created by thinking concepts and imagination, and especially how I had thought about myself, combining to give the illusion of it being very real. It was a very profound change, and I was seeing and experiencing myself and therefore everything else in a very different way. 
Within a few minutes of this shift, I started to get a flow of information about anything I gave my attention to, that I knew immediately I could not possibly know intellectually. (I was told by a guide that this is Universal Intelligence and comes with a significant and irreversible shift in perception and genuine freedom from the mind). This is also available to everyone but the noise in the head and the dominance of the thinking and imagining process is so strong in almost everyone still that it cannot get through or be heard, and imagination gives the illusion of it to many so it still has them under control. At first it was a bit overwhelming, and as my memory had also stopped working in the way it used to, I had to start writing everything down or it was gone very quickly and replaced with more. Even when I wasn't giving my attention to anything, I would be getting knowledge about apparently random but very relevant things. This process has not stopped to this day, although I have become accustomed to it now. It is a major contributing factor to the information in this book.
I went back to Rajeev and said, “I have the answer. We have more than one mind.” He laughed and said, “Yes, Mark.” 
When I started to step back and observe the ‘functional mind’ (as I called it then), I can only describe it in words as being separate from the concept this mind has of who I am yet still being within this physical body, which I recognise is not me. I realised that I am in this world because of this physical body that I inhabit, but I am not of this physical world. Realising that there is an individual mind, or part of the brain that I now call ‘The Thinking Mind’, was the beginning of becoming completely free of the mind’s control over me. It is the only part of the mind that we need freedom from, or really a truer way of putting it is that it's the part of the mind we need to make peace with. Our thinking concept of who and what we are. I hope with this book I can help your subconscious mind to let go of enough to be able to one day experience this profound shift in perception for yourselves. It is destined to happen, but when and how is down to the individual journey of each of you, and how soon you are willing to relinquish your attachment to your thinking concepts, your external attachments, and your public identity attachments (which will be clearly explained in an upcoming section).
After the deepening course finished, I stayed another two and a half weeks and was permitted on quite a few occasion to spend more time with their highest-level meditators, people they call Oneness Beings, which continued my deepening process for another two and a half weeks. So my deepening actually lasted almost four weeks in total, and I 'woke up' less than a week in. I was basically immersed for five full weeks. I have to say that I could not function very well when I came back from India. My ability to focus on multiple tasks and carry multiple thoughts had gone. I was down to having only one thought at a time, and memory was all but nonexistent, especially short-term memory. But I should point out that I just did not care in the least. I let go of all my business interests and stopped doing all the things that I was not compelled to do. I was absolutely happy and at peace this way, with absolutely no inner conflict, and continue to be this way. 
I also realised something that is very important for everyone to know. You are far more than you can truly imagine at the moment. This consciousness that I am has never changed in all the time I have been working to change. It has never needed to. My concept of myself however (how my mind thinks about and defines this physical self) has always wanted to change because it caused itself suffering over itself. However it has adjusted through distinctions that have been made when the mind has been exposed to how it has been causing its own suffering in any particular area, but the change had not come from me trying to change. The thinking mind is not designed to create pain, however its programming (conditioning) causes it to. When you expose it to how it is creating it, or why it is perceiving in the way it is, and it sees a better way to perceive, it will adapt and change its perception itself.

	

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Your Thoughts Are Not Your Thoughts 

I remember something else Ananda giri had said, “Your thoughts are not your thoughts”. Although I didn't understand it then, now it is very clear to me. I cannot give you the experience of this, but you are not your thinking, nor are you this body you are in. So any thoughts you experience are not yours. They are a result of the physical mind's unconscious thinking, subconscious thinking, thoughts that come from external to you (collective consciousness), and conscious thinking. Thoughts are coming in all the time, and our subconscious thoughts are also going on all the time, 24/7. When you are asleep, they are experienced as dreams. After my shift in consciousness, I started to be able to observe the different kinds of thoughts that go on. Thoughts that were going on in my subconscious mind, and also thoughts from people around me and collective consciousness coming in through my forehead, then leaving through the back of my head. I was also able to direct my conscious thinking. 
If you do not respond to, or engage with, any of these thoughts that come from the subconscious or collective consciousness, do not open a dialogue with them, or attach to them, they pass, and are replaced with other thoughts. You are not affected by them if you do not indulge in them by giving them your attention, or immediately removing it and giving it to something else when you realise you have. When you give your attention to a thought, you also cause yourself to be open to receiving and experiencing more thoughts like it. These external thoughts basically pass down the center of the two brain hemispheres and thoughts will be picked up by the left brain and inspiration, if it can be heard, is for the right brain. For most people the thinking mind will be the only receptor of this flow, and anything received as inspiration by the right brain, can be overridden by a strong thinking mind. The thoughts we have also go out in the same way. So we are also constantly putting thoughts out into the collective consciousness. 
A thought catches your attention, usually because it is in vibrational harmony with your own current level of thinking vibration. You also experience the thoughts, or associate to those, most like the thoughts that you use consistently, those in vibrational harmony with your current level of thought vibration. Or you are sensitised to thoughts like this, perhaps because you are in a certain emotional state. If you focus on that thought and start dialoguing with it, then it becomes your thought. You will now experience it, and your imagination will get involved and create a story or a fantasy around it. You have now given it life and it becomes real to you. Or rather the experience of it becomes real to you, because it is your perception of it you experience once you interact with it. It now therefore becomes your thought. 
It was interesting for me to observe all this, as I had once thought that all the thoughts I had were my own. 
All the thoughts in human collective consciousness pass through, and are therefore available to, your mind, as they do with everyone else. When you rise in awareness, and therefore vibration and frequency, there is a whole new set of thoughts that you can tune into. Think of television stations. You can only see and hear the information on the channel you are tuned into, yet when you change channel (frequency), you experience different things. Do you think when you change channel that this invites that frequency into your home, or do you realise that it was always there, and now you are simply tuned in and able to experience it? Thoughts have a vibrational frequency as television and radio channels do. For example, joyous thoughts, and fearful or judgmental thoughts, have different frequencies, and if you are vibrating at a fearful thought level, a lower frequency of thought, you can experience any of those kinds of thoughts in that vibrational frequency band as your own. That is, they will be experienced as the loudest in your head, and therefore will be the ones your imagination gets involved with.
This may be a challenging concept for some of you, but please do not dismiss it. Keep an open mind. Thoughts move through our minds all the time, and you may recognise that some of them may not be what you would experience as your regular thoughts, and some may even shock you. Your emotional state predisposes you to experience certain kinds of thoughts that are at a similar level of vibration to the emotions (created by the thoughts or memories) you are experiencing. When you are vibrating at a certain level, thoughts and memories that vibrate at the same frequency you are at, will get your attention, because they will stand out the most to you. And if you are not VERY clear about your thinking, as a true unattached witness of this process, you will not know the difference. When you raise the quality of your conscious thoughts and therefore your reasoning process, you raise your vibration (I will go into this in much more detail soon). That means that the thoughts and memories that you were predisposed to experience at that lower level, will no longer be heard or experienced by you, unless you choose to tune down your thinking frequency to experience them. When you become really aware of the conscious process of choosing thoughts to consciously interact with, and have practiced enough, you can choose the thoughts you wish to experience as they are presented to you, or choose to interact with none at all. 
It’s easier than your thinking mind may be telling you it will be, based on your experience so far. Also, using conscious thought, you can generate the emotional state that will attract the higher-level thoughts you wish to experience. You can influence the frequency to some extent by choosing how you approach an event, situation or interaction, and what you focus on. This influences the reasoning process that creates meaning, or the conclusion you come to over it. Whether you realise it now or not, you have this ability. Thoughts do not become your thoughts, and therefore your experience of reality in that moment, until you interact with them, or create them. Is your thinking mind struggling yet, or perhaps telling you to put the book down? Please don’t listen to it. Its best thinking got you to where you are now, and it will continue to keep you there as long as you let it. You deserve to be free from its control. Finishing the book will give you more choice than you have ever had, I promise! 
Believe me when I say you can reach a point where you can experience these thoughts happening and have no interaction with them. There is no need for interaction with them. They can just pass by like water in a stream. Imagine you are next to a stream. You can be aware that it is there and still not have to dip into it. You can do the same with your stream of subconscious and incoming thoughts. This is true ‘freedom from the thinking mind’ or ‘peace with the mind’, which is really about freedom from your thoughts. Not actually leaving or escaping the mind, as some try to do through meditation etc. 
To me there are three kinds of meditation. In my opinion, all modern-day meditations are either relaxation or concentration. They  actually take the form of relaxation plus imagination, and concentration plus imagination. Imagination is driven by thoughts, either yours or those coming from others, so there cannot be freedom from thought using imagination, as it is just thinking in another form. Neither of the above are true meditations. True meditation is when all effort, measurement, evaluation and judgement, of self and the process, have ceased. When there is nothing else going on, then a state of meditation can appear, but not until then. It cannot be created, as it is what you are prepared to let go of or surrender, not what you do, that will allow you to experience true meditation.

The thinker is a concept in the same way that a river is a concept. Without flowing water there is no river because the river is just flowing water. The mine needs to label the flowing water so it calls it a river. Because there is flowing thought there is assumed to be a thinker. When there is no self, there is just the flow of thought and no thinker. Thought does not end when awakening takes place, there is just no thinker any longer.

What you experience as you is the concept of self which is a psychological illusion. Thoughts are not yours because there is no true you. You are not the subconscious mind which is having those thoughts, and you are not collective consciousness sending thoughts in through the mind. So thoughts are not yours.

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2 - How I Believe Our Mind Really Works

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Imagination - The Reality Simulator

I believe it is important the first understand the importance of imagination in perception.

Question-what do you think separates us from other species? In my opinion it is imagination. The ability to simulate reality within and outside of the present moment. No other species indulges in imagination. Be aware that memory requires imagination for you to experience it.

	Imagination can give usually experience or anything that can be thought or conceptualised.  that includes the concept or conceptualisation of experiences.

In my humble opinion, it is imagination that has caused all the challenges to the fear based mind, and humanity as a whole. Although it has also been one of our greatest abilities.

External reality is what is coming in through the senses, but the mind uses imagination on top of its perception based on 'self' and then you experience your reality version, or basically your imaginary version.

Imagination has engendered complex thinking. Animals have simple, non self related reactions because they don't have imagination.

Most of your experience of what you call reality is just a figment of your imagination.

Inspirational higher vibration imagination, not thinking imagination.

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The Structure Of The Mind As I Experience It

Our mind can be seen as the same ancient mind man has always had, with some evolutionary changes and additions. It's the same basic computer that we've had for millions of years, apart from certain parts of the brain becoming far more complex, and some new parts being added. That's what I believe Bhagavan refers to when he says it's all the same ancient mind. Yes, it's the same basic computer, but every human populates the files and folders of this computer with different information, based on their pre-birth, birth, Karma, creation of their concept of self, life journey and experiences. Therefore each mind processes events, situations and interactions differently. Each perceives differently, and each reacts or responds differently to any given stimulus based on it's own individual Concept of Self. It's still the ancient computer that we are all given, but it appears to be different for each of us. This I believe has been described by Eastern mystics for millennia. Unfortunately, how they describe it is too simplistic for the Western mind. Because I am a westerner, I can describe it in a way that helps westerners to understand it; but it is still the same ancient mind, it's still the same old computer. We are still basically cave men, and women, just living in a different environment.
Ok, now I'm going to describe how I experience the physical brain, our computer. The parts of the brain I’m discussing here have many functions. Although I’m describing the basic areas that fulfill these functions, each parts of the brain also has many functions. I am simply giving you a basic idea of how the brain works so you can understand what’s going on with your own thinking. Taking the time to understand the basic functioning of your mind, and how thoughts are created and used, can help you learn how to direct and manage your conscious thinking.
I believe that there are five main parts of the mind that we need to focus on to be able to effect how we perceive our world. There are two sides to the physical brain, the left hemisphere and the right hemisphere. This means the brain is basically almost completely split down the middle. Both sides of the mind are needed. However, some parts have become more dominant than they should be, especially imagination, and affect our quality of life in a disempowering way. We need to shift this dominance so we can come into balance and experience peace.

1/ The Biological Mind (DNA and Organism Survival and Thrive Programming)
2/ Our Underlying Operating System or Basic Survival (The Primal Mind).
3/ The Left Brain Parietal Lobe (The Thinking Mind). 
4/ The Right Brain (The Conscious Experiential Mind). 
5/ The Left Prefrontal Lobe (The Reality Simulator).
6/ The Right Prefrontal Lobe (The Intuition and Inspiration Receiver/Transmitter).

The left and right sides of the brain have very different processes and motivations. The left brain is the basic thinking computer, and the right brain is the experiential part of our mind. The right brain is where you experience the higher self watching and listening to the lower self (thinking mind) as you become more self-aware. Then there is the operator, the watcher or the witness, as it is sometimes known, which is the true higher awareness, (which at the moment very few people truly experience, although imagination can give a strong illusion of this). This detached, non-judgemental watcher is the oneness consciousness that witnesses the whole mind interacting, including observing self-awareness, which the right brain watching and interacting with the left brain. This observer is actually consciousness itself, and gives access to abilities and dimensions not available to the physical form. There is however a limit to what can be consistently experienced by this consciousness, as it is restricted most of the time through having to experience this physical entity for this part of our evolutionary journey of consciousness, (although full consciousness experiences are available to people with this level of awareness and the right processes and rituals) but I wont go into that here.
The Parietal Lobe in the left hemisphere of the brain is basically your low-level thinking mind where all sensory input is integrated to be evaluated and assimilated, including imagination. The left brain thinking mind is and can only be a result of the past. That's why it only relates to and used the past to evaluate with. The Parietal Lobe of the right hemisphere is in part your higher-level experiential mind. The right brain tends to imagine in pictures, imagery and feelings (not emotions), whereas the left brain is verbal and its imagery comes from imagination. Low vibration thinking is left brain and higher vibration is right brain. The left brain is where your thinking dialogue and internal chatter comes from. The left brain is like a spoilt or angry child or a logical, responsible parent, while the right brain is like a young, excited child that has no concept of social expectations and rules, that loves life and the experience of it. Your left brain is overrun by judgement discrimination and attachment, while your right brain is just happy to be alive, although few can experience this. The left brain has a lower vibration than the right brain, although it is experienced as faster and louder. This mental volume can overpower your connection to, and experience of, right-brain experiential awareness. Because the thinking mind is functioning faster and louder than the higher or conscious mind, it can hijack the experience of reality and create an imaginary version to give you the illusion of having experienced it, without it ever reaching the experiential mind.
With practice, however, and commitment to your awareness, Consciousness and peace, you can nurture your right-brain awareness in such a way that it quietens and overrides the processes happening in the left hemisphere. Deeksha helps greatly in this. Eventually you can reach a point where your thinking is quiet enough that you can easily override it consciously and step away from your thinking in any moment. Then you can experience other things in your world, including the present-moment experience which most people have now lost to imagination to a huge degree. 
It is said that left-handed people are right-brain dominant. This may be correct from a mechanical perspective, but it does not stop left-handed people from suffering from left-brain disempowering or fearful thinking. I believe it is your initial energetic construction, your conditioning and your perception of yourself, that dictates whether you are left or right-brain dominant. The hand you write with really has nothing to do with this. Schools encourage left-brain logical, analytical, sequential, accurate thinking, and unfortunately self-judgement and self-abuse if you can't do these things well. Unfortunately, there is not enough creative curriculum in schools to counterbalance the left-brain subjects and bring balance to us with uplifting feeling approaches and creative endeavors. The right brain will experience what’s there in front of you (if it is not filtered and adjusted like the left brain thinking mind), whilst the left brain tends to see your remembered impression of what you are looking at (by using imagination to give you the illusion of the true experience), which is also what you usually expect to see. It’s like being stuck just behind your eyes and only seeing the internal virtual-reality version of what is in front of you — your memory impression — and being unable to step outside of your eyes to see what’s truly there. 
Once you have an understanding of the parts of the brain described here, you will know all you need to know to consciously intervene in the process that goes on in your head. Soon you will be able to consistently create the quality of life you want and deserve. Then you can truly leave your discomfort, turmoil, conflict and suffering behind you. You don’t need to know the whole structure of the mind intimately in order to be able to change how you consciously think. After all, you don’t need to know in detail how a car or a computer works to be able to operate it well. You also don’t have to know how gravity works to use its functioning in your favor. Awareness creates choice. When you have true choice, you can choose the quality of conscious thinking and reasoning that create meaning in any situation. The meaning your agenda, approach and focus creates, then creates the feelings that you experience in any moment. Awareness gives you the ability of being able to change the quality and experience of your reality, literally at will, with enough practice. Practice creates habitual patterns.
Remember this, the left brain is conceptual and uses imagination to give the illusion of an experience. It does this to convince you there is nothing more required than the indulgence of thinking so it can keep your attention and stay dominant in your life to keep you safe, as this is its main programmed objective. Whilst the right brain is experiential, you may never know the difference between what you actually experience and what you vividly imagine, especially if that is how you want to perceive yourself or be perceived in that way by others.

	Fig 1.  The Left Parietal Lobe 

- The Sub-Conscious Thinking Mind	

The left parietal lobe is the part of the brain where most of our thinking is done, and is where our thinking mind is mainly situated. This is where spoken language is generated and deciphered. I believe that most of the electrical activity that occurs during thought goes on in the parietal lobes of the brain. This is where your sensory input is integrated and deciphered, so the thinking mind can evaluate it and give us its perceived evaluation, through the meaning it creates. I think it was Albert Einstein who once said, “We only use (or utilise) about ten percent of our brain.” I believe this to be true in most cases, because the part of the brain where we do our thinking is probably only about that percentage of the brain’s overall mass. 

	Fig 2.  The Right Hemisphere

- The Conscious Thinking Mind 
& 
The Experiential Higher Mind	

The right hemisphere is where I believe the first level of higher self is experienced. This is the part of the brain where feelings of happiness, joy, beauty, peace, compassion, bliss and so on are experienced, as well as the origin of instinctive thought, or your gut feelings, as they are often described. The experience of the heart ‘feeling’ is the experience of this right-brain connection. It is also where higher reasoning is generated — the uplifting, supportive voice of reason. It’s the part that deals with your moment-by-moment experience of life. It holds no thinking memory of the past and creates no future fantasies. It operates just in this present moment. Experiencing life more fully through this part of the brain will help us consistently experience true happiness and peace. Artistic abilities come from this part of the brain. It has been said that women function from the right hemisphere. However, I believe the main differences in how women function as compared to men are due to some basic differences in the male and female operating system (our underlying primal programming). After all, most women suffer from left-brain thinking as much as men do, especially ego-driven, masculine or de-feminised women. Men are of course more linear and use the left-brain logical thinking more than truly feminine women do.

	Fig 3.  The Left Pre-frontal Lobe

- The Reality Simulator	

	Fig 3 - 2.  The Right Pre-frontal Lobe

- Inspiration and Higher Communication	

For the purposes of this book, all you need to know about these two parts of the brain is that the left prefrontal lobe in part functions as a ‘reality simulator’, our imagination, and the right prefrontal lobe is responsible for intuition and inspiration (which can be filtered out by the thinking mind), and also sending out the ‘feeling’ information required to attract future experiences. Basically, anything you can think of, or any though coming in or generated subconsciously, can be run through your left prefrontal lobe simulator to give you an experience that feels completely real. This is partly so possibilities of danger can be assessed without you actually having to physically indulge in them, and to find new ways of doing things quicker than just trial and error. These simulations can be so convincing that the thinking mind does not know the difference between what you vividly imagine and what you actually experience. Your external senses are not directly connected to your thinking mind and neither is your imagination. They both arrive to your thinking mind through similar pathways and therefore your thinking mind cannot actually tell what is coming from your actual senses and what is not. I actually believe it was the growth of the prefrontal lobes over a very short period of time, what feels to me to be about 45,000 to 50,000 years ago, that transformed mankind. It also feels like it was about 4,000 years ago that the thinking mind and imagination became totally associated to each other, and completely took over our experience of reality. Causing the thinking mind to become the controlling, fearful, isolated, significance and self-importance driven, disillusioned oppressor displayed in our societies nowadays.
The right prefrontal lobe is where the connection to universal awareness takes place that receives intuition and inspiration coming in from Universal Influence. It is responsible for what could be called our ability to think outside of the box. Intuition comes as imagery or as a feeling (not an emotion), because it is a right-brain process, which is then converted into thought, and unfortunately filtered and adjusted to fit with the quality of thinking indulged in by that thinking mind. Be aware that your thinking mind can change or corrupt intuition to bring it in line with its own needs. Also be mindful that your experiences of intuition can be an illusion created by the thinking mind using imagination to trick you and keep control of you. Higher reasoning uses the right hemisphere of the brain and the information coming in from the right prefrontal lobe to find answers that are not yet available to the lower-level awareness of the left-brain thinking mind. For now, I just want to show you what these parts are. As we proceed, you’ll see how they come into play to give you your perception of reality. Let’s start with the basics.

Awakening brings for balance between all parts of the physical brain, which are very much our balance is human of all this and stands at the writing of this book.

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The Primal Mind - The Operating System

First part of the Primal mind is the Biological mind. It is designed purel to run the physical organism, keep it alive, and allow it to thrive. The more advanced part is the survival computer. I am going to use a very simple analogy that anybody who uses a computer will understand. I am trusting that those who don’t use computers will be able to understand it as well. If your computer has a Windows operating system, that means the basic underlying programs that allow the computer to work, even before you install any programs on top of this basic platform, is Windows. If you have an Apple Macintosh computer (a Mac), the basic operating system platform that’s on your computer before you install any programs, is a Macintosh operating system. Every computer needs an operating system with a set of basic or rudimentary instructions that give it a structure to work to and that triggers protocols in certain situations to handle any situation that was expected when the system was designed. In addition, it must be able to support and handle data and programs that are installed onto the computer on top of the operating system. These programs are your ideas, beliefs, expectations, understandings, strategies, interactions, situational memories and life experiences. They basically dictate what you do or how you deal with the information you receive from your senses and what is used to create and guide imagination. This helps to create how you perceive your reality, or if it is imagination, it becomes your reality.
Now, although these operating systems, Windows and Macintosh, perform similar functions, they’re very different operating systems. Although men and women both have operating systems, they are quite different operating systems in some fundamental ways. The differences show up in our basic masculine and feminine behaviours (if we are true to our underlying programming and do not attempt to override it trying to be different, or by creating personalities that are more apt to be for the opposite sex). The book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus (see Recommended Resources) clearly explains these types of differences. Although we are absolutely of equal value, we are very different physical beings! This concept could also explain why some men and some women believe that they are the opposite sex in the wrong body. They could simply have the wrong operating system installed. A simplistic view, I agree, but based on my understanding, I believe it to be totally plausible.  
Our operating system has been basically the same since we came into existence. We are still essentially cavemen and cave-women with the same basic organic computer; we are now just in a different environment now and the computer has become almost completely linked to imagination. Although our environment is very different, and we now think and therefore make decisions very differently, we still operate in the same basic way underneath. The adaptive part of our operating system that allows our bodies to adjust to changes in the environment by triggering changes in our DNA is still basically the same underlying programming we started out with. The operating system also covers processes like breathing, sweating, heart rate and so on — anything that is carried out automatically and unconsciously by the mind, that does not require any conscious or subconscious thought or belief system to cause it to happen. The operating system has nothing to do with the thinking process, apart from feeding it information, primal level thoughts, so the thinking mind can evaluate any danger to the physical body, and then information is sent back to the operating system to help with physical decisions or responses. 
The drives and underlying needs of our species reside in the operating system. These include the need to sleep, the need to procreate, the need to expend the least amount of effort in any moment, the need to relate to other humans, to protect and serve other community members, the need for women to nurture and support their families, the drive in men to feed and protect their families, and the drive in both men and women to protect their young at all costs. I believe that the desire to feel good is also part of this operating system. Animals with very little possibility of thought, that only operate at a rudimentary operating-system level, still gravitate to doing what feels good, as I mentioned earlier. Unfortunately, the thinking mind has become strong enough to control enough of our perceptions to make this experience of happiness and well-being harder and harder to experience. And because the thinking mind is designed principally to support our primal needs, which are survival, safety, minimum effort and basic comfort, our subconscious thinking approach to ourselves and life has become all about survival and pain avoidance. That includes using imagination to avoid pain, and then using thinking and imagining to avoid the pain our thinking and imagining causes!
We are actually a physical technology. Each cell of our body contains what is needed to be a semiconductor. Semiconductors are what computers use to store and process information. Apparently our cells have a crystalline structure that is similar to the micro-processors and memory storage devices in your computers. Each cell also contains about 1.17 volts of electricity. This means each cell can carry information in the same way a computer stores information. That means we essentially have an operating system in every cell of our body, and it’s called DNA. Some people believe that DNA is just a building manual or set of directions for creating our body, and that true intelligence is in the mind. Surely the structure with the highest intelligence would be the one that created everything, including the mind, at the beginning of our life? 
If the first cell of every living being is pretty much the same when it starts out, how does one turn into a chicken, one turn into a man, and yet another turn into an elephant? Surely this single microscopic cell holds more intelligence than can even be conceived by the thinking mind. I call DNA our Divine Natural Awareness. When I contemplate or meditate on DNA as the object of my full attention, I get these words: ‘God Within The Body’. Perhaps our connection to what is known as God is through our DNA. Perhaps a good translation for the word GOD is ‘Gift Of Divinity’, or ‘Grand Organisational Designer’, or even ‘Get Oneness Directly’! This to me is a good description and something that we should get back to, especially now, with much of religion implying that we are separate from God and therefore needing others, their chosen hierarchy, to communicate through to have any interaction with the Divine, and have any chance of salvation. We actually need salvation from low vibrational, disempowering thinking and imagining, not life itself.
The gift of our connection to divinity is already within us all, and available as soon as we are ready to transcend the thinking mind and truly experience the moments of our lives fully. DNA is our direct connection to Creation. Out of an estimated 6 billion people on our planet, around 95% believe in a higher entity; 50% of them call it God. For me, there is no coincidence in any of this. What about evolution? Everything evolves, including every situation and interaction. Where did the intelligence come from that allowed and enabled us to evolve? On the subject of Evolution versus Intelligent Design, I don't see that there is a discrepancy here. Evolution comes about through DNA adjusting the characteristics of a physical entity, and DNA is of intelligent design. Anyone should be able to see that DNA has a level of intelligence beyond our understanding. It must have been so at the beginning to be able to evolve in the first place. 
Look around and you will see evolution, even if you don’t want to believe in it. Something in us has the ability to evaluate our environment and create change in a life-sustaining way. Thanks to our ability to evolve, it is possible we could literally adapt to living in almost any environment. Insects and fish are great examples. Fish have been found living in environments that were once thought to be uninhabitable, like volcanic sulphur streams deep in the ocean at metal crushing depths. They have evolved and adapted to be able to survive there. Where does this highly powerful adaptability come from? I believe it comes from within us, in our DNA connection to Creation itself. 
I have heard the term ‘junk DNA’ mentioned a few times and this got me focused on the content of DNA. I received the information that DNA actually holds all the other variables of what we could have been. I believe that only around 5% of our DNA is active. The rest consists of all the other variations of our past evolutions, and also all the possibilities of our future evolutions — and all the entities or creatures we could have been or could still become. We might have been a horse or an ant or a crow. An ant has essentially the same DNA as a human, and a tree, only it has different elements active to those of a human. Different bits are activated in other creatures. Part of the ‘junk’ DNA in an ant is the human it could have been.
I believe that the secret to language is in DNA, and we all carry with us a universal translator. This could also be part of collective consciousness of humans. If we could access it properly, we could all understand what everyone else is saying in an 'experiential' way, regardless of country, creed or origin. If we were telepathic as a society, which I believe will be a reality in the not-too-distant future, we would speak telepathically in the same language, the base language of our DNA and lying would be a concept of the past. I have a feeling that the oldest languages came from this source, and that if DNA could be translated into language, we would find the basis or totality of all the ancient languages within it. 

The thinking and imagining loop is constantly triggering the primal mind, which causes constant underlying sense of fear about almost everything including life itself.

The primal mind has an automatic consciousness that you're not aware of, and is guided by DNA which consciousness (creation) can affect as it chooses.

Drives and needs of the primal mind are experienced his instincts.

Primally we evolved to include a pack mentality. Safety in numbers, and this is the mindset behind gangs etc. I call this Tribalism.

For Primal and Physical pleasure

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The Original Ego

This is really the Core-Identity and The Individual Concept of Self, and the belief that their is an individual self separate to everyone and everything. It is really just our thinking concept of our separate selves. It’s not who you really are, it’s just who you think you are. And the attachment and association to it, and conviction that it is real, supported by imagination, is what causes all our personal suffering. This underlying concept was developed over seven years and has been supported over the course of your life. You basically approach yourself and life based on this concept. As I show in other sections, you are not the computer; you are the operator. If you believe you are your computer, or you define yourself as the computer, and totally associate to that thinking concept of yourself, then you are all the misprogrammings, misunderstandings, and confusion within that computer programming. It is simply how you define yourself in a thinking way; it is not who or what you are. But if you believe it is who or what you are, as most people do, then it will define your suffering, and you will spend your life trying to escape your concept of yourself. Nothing is personal, but this concept of an individual self, that is in competition with other individual concepts, will cause things to feel like they are. The external world is merely a reflection of this self concept, it is not real in the way you perceive it to be.

Attachments of the ego:
1 - 
2 - Being right.
3 - Not being wrong.
4 - 
5 - 
6 - To survive.
7 - Competing with other egos
8 - Collecting allies to support its stance.

Awakened people still experience ego, but it is ignored as the truth about the ego is known.

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	The Thinking Mind - Your Organic Super-Computer

Left-Brain Thinking Characteristics	
• Yes or No	• Linear Reasoning	• Pro-active	
• Analytical & Logical	• Sequential	• Practical, Patterns & Habits	
• The Liar	• Past - Future Focus	• Detail Orientated	
• Controlling	• Looks at Parts	• Words & Language	
• The Internal Talker	• Judgemental	• Measuring –- Cost / Return	
• Critical	• Self Obsessed	• Information Gathering	
• Irrational	• Dramatic - Exaggerator	• Safety Driven & Fearful	
• Structured	• Rules Driven	• Controllable	
• Mistrusting	• Egotistic	• Certainty/Significance Driven	
• Critical Voice	• Evaluates Using Past	• Aggressive & Reactive	
• Critical Parent	• Self-Judging	• Alone - Singular	
• Pessimistic	• Looks For Negative	• Attachment to Time	
• Knowledge Acquisition	 Decides Your Imaginings	• Satisfaction at Best	
• Interprets Literally	• Creates Emotions	• Fear Based Fantasies	
• Experience of Hell	• Learning	• Calculating - Strategic	
• Identification	• Attachments	• Craving & Needy	
• Obsessive	• Limited	• Identity-Based Lone Self	
• Warrior	• Selfish & Self-Centered	• Me Or You	
• Me Against You	• Multi-Tasking	• Responsible For Dreaming	
• Survival Orientated	• Failure or Success Only	• Hierarchical and Superiority	

	Fig 4.  Left-Brain Parietal Lobe

– The Thinking Mind	

Some call it the ‘Conceptual Mind’ or the ‘Conscious Mind’. I will refer to it as ‘The Thinking Mind’. It is the part of the brain that we all use to do our planning, comparing, analysing, judging, conversing, and basically any function that needs at least a basic level of thought. It is the connection between your conscious self and the physical world you are living in, your evaluation supercomputer. You need a physical computer to access the Internet and interact in that environment. You also need an organic computer to access and interact with and process the information from the physical world. The thinking mind is the part of the brain that is our organic supercomputer. It contains our beliefs, expectations, values and rules, agendas, needs and motivations, attachments, assumptions and projections, justifications, thinking memories, perceived experiences, mental concepts, as well as the conceptual imprints of each person, object, interaction and event we have known in our lives. Our interpretations of every situation, action or experience are installed on this organic computer as programs or data. This programming is being added to and adjusted all throughout our life, and it uses this information to create an imaginary reality that we believe is real. The thinking mind is a fantastic tool for tasks like doing maths, evaluating logistical problems and reading maps, and also looking out for our physical and our perceived emotional safety. However, because of the way it actually functions, using imagination as a substitute for actually experiencing life, it is a poor substitute for the happiness of just being present in, and experiencing the moment fully, no matter what is happening.
I encourage you to read this book carefully multiple times so you can really comprehend what I’m saying here. When you truly ‘get it’, you can become the observer of your thinking mind, rather than the victim of it. You’ll be able to step back and watch your thoughts without having to get involved in the dialogue that is going on around them. Nor will you create the emotional responses that would normally cause you to suffer. You will be able to choose what thinking dialogue you interact with, rather than being a victim of what your mind decides to focus on. Stepping back from your thinking mind is like listening to someone else thinking who thinks like you do, or someone talking your thoughts out loud, in your voice. I call this the ‘watcher’ or the ‘listener’ behind the ‘thinker’ — the higher, right-brain self. If you are truly in touch with this higher self-awareness, it enables you to recognise the truth in every situation and interaction, because higher awareness has no attachment to any thinking position or outcome. It instinctively knows the right actions in every moment and recognises that everything is just an event or a stimulus; nothing is real, or personal. It trusts the power of silence and non-reaction and is at peace. There is a much higher level of intelligence available in this place, although it is not the highest level possible. Some people believe they are awakened because they have become self-aware. However, this is just the first stage in becoming awakened. The mind can fool you into believing anything using imagination if it is important enough to you, so your thinking mind and your imagination should rarely be trusted.

Don’t believe everything you think. The most convincing liar you will ever have to deal with is your own thinking mind. We lie the hardest when we are trying to convince ourselves of something.	

It is the thinking mind that adds challenging meanings to events, interactions and situations. The thinking mind is worshipped in the Western world. People are valued more highly for their thinking intellect than their ability to live in the present moment (now) and authentically experience and enjoy it. Many so-called mentally handicapped people are able to experience far more happiness and joy than most so-called normal people. Being able to step away from the thinking mind and become the watcher or witness to the thinking process, without getting involved, or just fully experiencing the moment, is what will allow you to have true freedom and give you a choice in deciding how you want to feel in any moment. You’ll know what I mean when it starts to happen to you for real. It won’t just be a construct of the thinking mind trying to ‘simulate’ enlightenment through imagination, in order for you to be perceived by your own public identity (so-called ego) and others as being enlightened or highly spiritually aware. This can sometimes be the most difficult for some people to grasp. However, once you get it, and have an awareness of what I am talking about, you will experience a huge amount of change in your life.
People and situations that once annoyed the hell out of you will eventually have virtually zero effect. Instead, you’ll end up feeling a sense of peace, partly because your triggers no longer affect you and partly because you will just be more relaxed from being in a state of steady happiness. When you have freedom from the mind, nothing can be personal as it is all about your thinking concept of you and not who you really are. The thinking mind has disconnected us from our experience of the present moment, and our ability to truly enjoy it. In the beginning, this was probably not intentional, but the thinking mind certainly works hard to keep you from it now. Let’s re-awaken your wisdom so that you can become the observer of your thinking mind and the choice-maker in your experience of reality, and not just a helpless passenger. 
Pain is inevitable because you have a physical body. Some things do genuinely feel painful emotionally. However, suffering is still an option you choose to or not to indulge in. We can consciously direct the mind through thinking development to minimise suffering. Nonetheless, the thinking mind’s main underlying function is still one of pain avoidance. That means its focus is always on pain or suffering one way or another, either in an attempt to escape it or to try to avoid it in the first place. If you don’t direct it towards other more supportive and uplifting thoughts, you will experience the emotional states that come with the fear based thoughts. The thinking mind majors in minor, over-dramatised events, that keep you involved in a low level of thought, and therefore low-level vibrational emotional experiences. 

If your moments now are just a process you must endure to get to a better future, you are trapped by your thoughts. Your future is constructed by your thinking approach ‘now’. It is not something waiting to rescue you.	

The thinking mind will rule you with psychological need. It thinks in Cost-Return terms. It will also tells you that everything you need to help you feel good is in the future, because it knows it cannot give you happiness right now. Only through learning to manage your thoughts and then letting them go can you free yourself from the way the thinking mind uses you now. Only in this way can you have the freedom to be happy. If you totally identify with your thinking mind and your thoughts, and you totally identify with your problems and issues, then you are your problems and issues, and that is all you will experience. You cannot escape the feeling or experience of them if you immerse yourself in them using imagination. I now recognise that my thoughts are part of me, but not all of me, and that my imagination used to give me my experience of reality. I am now the operator using the computer. I am no longer a victim of my computer. 
The best analogy I can provide to help you see the thinking mind for what it really is, is that of looking at it like the computer you use to access the Internet. Cyberspace can only be accessed by using a computer to decipher the information that is coming through from the digital environment of cyberspace. Likewise, our experience of physical life can only be accessed by using our thinking mind computer to decipher the electrical and vibrational information that comes to us through our senses. Thinking is just one of the processes going on inside of me. It’s just a tool for me to use. Consider what would happen if you totally identified with, and became, your desktop computer. You would have to accept all of its conflicting files and programs, and its viruses and bugs as real for you as well, because you can’t escape them if they are perceived as part of you. 
It would be like saying that because I use the computer to access the Internet, I am the computer that I use. This statement is no more true of the thinking mind than it is of the computer I use for the Internet. Yet the thinking mind and the thoughts it creates have fooled us into believing that it is all we are. The computer we use to access this physical world is not who we are; it is just something we have that allows us to function in and with the physical world. Once we can truly see the thinking mind as simply a part of us, and not all of who we are, then we can also let go of personalising its perceived faults, problems, attachments, viruses and inherent programming conflicts. Although we don’t know it consciously, one of the reasons we are angry internally is that we know we have been separated by our thinking from the experience of life — and from the love and acceptance we can experience for ourselves, others and Creation.
I am still triggered by my thoughts at times, but when I’m aware of what is happening, which is almost immediately now, I choose not to indulge in the process. I step away from the thoughts and focus on others and the experience passes quickly. It is important to become more and more aware of how your thinking works through self-inquiry, so that you can have true choice over how you think, and how you experience your reality. Making judgments about people, or indulging in running commentaries about people or things, is a normal process for the thinking mind. The thinking mind has to measure, judge and compare to make sure you are safe and to meets its basic needs of certainty, significance and self-validation. It will comment, measure, evaluate, judge, ask questions and make comments and statements constantly. The commentary goes on whether you want to measure judge and comment or not. If you indulge in the commentary and give it life, colour and movement through imagination, then it will take on a life of its own and isolate you in its own version of reality. 
It will become like a motion picture within your mind that creates emotions that you will have to experience as long as you indulge the imagination that creates them. If you don’t indulge these thoughts or the imagination, this does not need to happen. Practise stepping away into the place of silence internally that exists for each of us when you recognise that imagination has started. Accept the commentary as something that is going to happen anyway. Forgive yourself immediately, be kind to yourself, and accept yourself as absolutely complete as you are. Finally, make sure you surrender any struggle attached to these thoughts about being different or whatever the struggles is about, including the struggle over yourself because you have these thoughts or that you indulge in imagination. 
For the thinking mind, its perception of reality is basically a combination of memory (perception of the past), its conditioned thinking, and its pessimistic projected imagination of the future. As adults, we have been conditioned out of using right-brain optimistic reasoning by systems of education that taught and conditioned us to rely on left-brain thinking and pessimistic approaches using lowlevel reasoning and logic. The thinking mind spends all of its time in the past or future. It generates far too much future with multiple outcomes, and uses far too much past to justify it. It uses imagination to create and multiply time. We get stressed and overwhelmed because too much information, and too many imagined realities, are running at the same time in the imagination. Stress and turmoil are created by thinking and imagining. If you stack the things that you need to do, like creating a to-do list in the mind, the thinking mind will keep referencing each of the items on your list in sequence, causing them all to stay in your conscious awareness at some level, and imagination will create the experience of them all sequentially as well. This internal to-do list which is forcing your thinking mind to multi-task using imagination is what creates the experience of being overwhelmed.
Remember this well: you can only really do what you’re doing in any moment. So having a list in your mind of all the things you need to do is only going to cause you suffering. Create a written to-do list if you must, but then only focus on and do just the thing that you can do in that moment (which is all you can do anyway); holding a list in your awareness so you remember them or to push yourself to get them done will just cause you to feel overwhelmed and suffer because your imagination will give you the experience of doing them on top of what you are doing. Don’t let your mind multitask in this way. Tasks that really need to be done will get your attention as and when Universal Influence decides your attention on them is required. The thinking mind simply cannot exist in the present moment in the way it believes it needs to. It knows this, so it keeps you trapped by imagining past and future like a virtual-reality dream. It will do anything to keep you out of the present moment. It does not want to perceive itself as dying, and will fight to stay alive by constantly occupying your attention, simply because it believes it is you. If it dies, it believes that you die, and it is programmed to keep you alive, so it does what it does simply because it thinks that is the only way to keep you safe. 
The thinking mind creates multiple futures decided by your focus in any moment. It brings perceived or expected suffering from the future and lives it multiple times over in the present thinking dream state, whilst you are still awake, evaluating it to avoid the pain it is already causing by imagining it. Which is logical and illogical at the same time. It also relives events from the past that are already gone, bringing your perceived suffering from the past into your present virtual-reality dream with imagination so you experience it as real again. This is one of the ways the thinking mind keeps your attention. Unfortunately for you, if you are in the past or the future in your imagination, then you do not exist in the present, and therefore you cannot live in the moment. The experience of true happiness is blocked from you by this process because it is driven by fear and can therefore only create more fear. If you cannot live in the moment, you cannot experience true happiness or fulfillment. You are already free of your past unless you use imagination to call up a perception of an experience and give it a meaning that creates emotional suffering now. Then your thinking mind, using public identity, can also keep judging you for your past, which creates emotional suffering in the present that you simply do not need to experience. 

When you forgive the unconsciously ignorant actions of the people from your past, you open yourself up to new perceptions, solutions, and happiness in the present.	

You can allow your thinking mind to continue to define you by your past, and you can do this forever, but your past perception that causes you suffering will not stop until you stop going back there in your imagination. Start to define yourself from now, how you perceive yourself in this present moment. The thinking mind will convince you that your past perception of yourself and the perceived experiences you had in the past are your only way to define yourself now. At the very least, this concept can give it some of the sense of certainty that it craves, but it guarantees your future will feel like your past. It will trick you by telling you that the past is how you prepare for the future, and the future holds the hope of rescue. However, neither past nor future holds your salvation. They are just illusions of your thinking and imagining loop. If your past was perceived as miserable, surely that would just create a miserable future? Something needs to change. Only the present holds the key. 
Problems have solutions; predicaments do not. The thinking mind creates predicaments by using the past or future to compound and stack perceived situations or outcomes so that you need to be thinking and imagining about them all the time, and then the thinking mind has you where it wants you. It will also tell you that if it cannot be measured, weighed or understood, it cannot exist because it cannot be imagined. The thinking mind thereby discounts the right-brain experience of life and masks it from you by filtering it out of your perception of reality using imagination as a substitute. The thinking mind needs to understand everything. Its rationale is if you can understand it, you can imagine it and can therefore defend against it. That is why the thinking mind ‘needs’ to understand and imagine everything, and most people are almost completely unaware of these subconscious processes of thinking and imagining going on.
Attachment to anything is a process of the thinking mind. To be in the moment, you must be open to everything and attached to nothing. Even the attachment to becoming awakened or enlightened is a process of the thinking mind, and one that will stop you awakening because of your thinking attachment to it constantly using imagination to give you the experiences you expect to get. It becomes a craving, and cravings in all their forms are attachments and the root of most, if not all suffering. Goals are a thinking-mind process. Awakening or enlightenment cannot be a goal. It’s the same for being truly happy. They are experiences, and therefore they must be experienced in the moment and not with imagination. The thinking mind does not focus on, or let you experience the moment, so it stops you experiencing genuine happiness. Experiencing the present is a process of letting go, which the thinking mind hates to do, not a process of imagining, getting or knowing more, which is all your thinking mind can focus on and strive to achieve.
The thinking mind also needs to feel at the very least ‘equal to’ whatever it is comparing itself to. It will make whatever judgements and justifications it needs to, and imagine whatever it has to in order to achieve this illusion. When people feel like they have little or no control in their lives, their thinking mind wants equality. When people actually get used to feeling equal, the thinking mind then tries to find ways to be in control or superior, that's why equality will never work whilst the thinking mind is so dominant. The thinking mind can also make you selfish, self-obsessed and greedy. This is because it feels alone, and getting what it needs is all that matters. If you live through your thinking mind, indulging in low-level thought and imagination, you will either be selfish and self-centred, or at the very least you will appear selfish and self-obsessed. Selfishness brings pain and a sense of loneliness in the end, whereas selflessness does not (if it is true selflessness). Selflessness brings short and long-term happiness and true fulfillment, whereas left-brain low awareness looks for instant gratification, often through imagination. 
The thinking mind is a strategist and is always looking for new strategies to apply to achieving its needs. It works hard to hold onto its old programming, which it perceived allowed it to survive what it saw as bad times when you were young or younger. Unfortunately, it continues to approach life in a way that assumes the old conditions are still present, and imagination often keeps them present, and the old strategies are still needed and that they will still work. Once you learn to direct the mind (as I will teach you) in a way that gives you a feeling good outcome, you can focus on this outcome so that the thinking mind will start to accept this as a good approach to feeling good at a higher level. If practised enough, your mind will start to use the process subconsciously.
The thinking mind likes complication and complexity, in part because without your constant attention and indulgence in imagination it has no real life, and it does not feel like it can keep you safe, and because if something is not complex then thinking is less required. It believes it will lose control over you if you no longer need thinking in the same way, and it therefore believes that you will be unsafe, and its basic job is to keep you safe. The thinking mind will make very simple things complex using imagination. It has to have something going on all the time or it feels like it’s dying. Also, it doesn’t actually realise it has created a form of virtual reality for itself using imagination. It is really a victim of its own evolution. It doesn’t matter how it keeps you occupied, as long as it does — through conversations about your faults or other people’s faults, conversations about how bad someone else is in comparison to you or others, imagination about anything, fantasy dialogues or conversations with other people that you may or may not have had, or ever will have, catastrophising using imagination, using imagination to re-run dialogues you have had with others and would like to have done differently, judgements and assessments about other people or situations, plotting and planning about events that may be days, weeks or even years away, repeating things over and over and over again. In fact, probably 90-95% of all the dialogue, questions, statements and stories that run through our head and imagination in a day, are just pointless. They exist so that the thinking mind constantly has your attention, and can therefore keep you away from being truly present in the moment. Most of this dialogue we have no genuine reason to interact with whatsoever. It doesn’t serve any real purpose other than to keep you in the virtual dream state of the thinking-imagining loop. 
The thinking mind is always striving to feel successful. That is why it will judge others harshly and why it wants to fool you into believing you are superior to others. I believe the best feeling the thinking mind is capable of generating is satisfaction, and that is short-lived. It then needs to find another problem to solve quickly, as it wants, and needs, to keep your attention. It will look for ways to help you feel satisfied so you don’t look for more than just satisfaction. Thinking itself is virtually always unsatisfied and always searching for something to hold your attention to keep you trapped in thinking and imagining, and to prove its value to you. The thinking mind has a grip on our society that very few people are aware of. Being able to stand by as an observer and watch this distracting dialogue, plotting and planning, judging, evaluating and imagining, without getting involved at all, is a true gift that you have to truly experience to know. Your thinking mind carries on all the time; it does not stop. It is not programmed to stop. It carries on even when you’re asleep and you experience this thinking and imagining as dreaming. However, in dreams the thinking has no reality rules and boundaries of conscious waking logic to hold it back, so dreams can take any form. In computer terms, dreaming is in part the thinking mind giving itself a defrag at night whilst we don’t consciously need it to function and evaluate. It re-organises and deletes what is unemotional information o longer required for evaluation, and keeps only emotionally relevant information to evaluate with. Dreams clear out the memory residue that the memory overview process does not need any more. This is to to free the mind of unnecessary information so the computer does not get clogged up with what it decides is irrelevant data. 
Without drugs or disabling injury, you can no more stop the thinking mind from thinking than you can stop the waves hitting the shore, or the wind blowing. To attempt to struggle to stop thinking is futile. It will just cause more discomfort, turmoil, suffering and even more thought. Up until recently, meditation was perceived as the only way to attempt to quieten the mind. If done correctly, it is a great process that allows you to start the process of possibly accessing the peace and quiet available by changing frequency and letting go of imagination. However, because meditation is a non-functional exercise, this means you can’t function in the physical world while you’re meditating, and as soon as the meditation has ended, the left-brain thinking mind kicks back in and takes away the sense of peace with imagination. 
Meditation is therefore a short-term fix for most people. Meditation is really like alcohol in that it deals with symptoms, not the cause, and if imagination is used during meditation, is is feeding the cause as well. Later, I’m going to share with you information about Deeksha, which can be used to seriously enhance meditation. It is also available to anyone. Five weeks’ immersion gave me what I might have had to meditate for years in a cave to achieve. Since my shift in perception, it’s like being totally functional and meditating at the same time. 
The thinking mind will have you believe that knowledge equals enlightenment. It does not. In fact, so-called knowledge hinders awakening and enlightenment. Knowledge can give you awareness of the subject, but conceptualising it cannot give you the actual experience of it. Your mind can only give you the imagined experience of the concept you hold. And that is not the same. Knowledge accumulated about the external world will never equal the knowing accessible through higher awareness, once you can truly live in the present moment. That ability is beyond the thinking mind’s design. Knowledge also does not necessarily bring good quality behaviour either. There are some very well-educated, intelligent people who have low-quality awareness and thought processes. Science or mathematics may be the highest level of thinking, but they certainly do not define the highest level of intelligence or awareness. Constant thinkers usually become obsessed with thinking even more, which keeps the left brain and imagination very active, and therefore dominant. 
Having said that, I believe that the highest-level thinkers can eventually transcend the thinking mind and become awakened through their search and questioning for answers they do not yet have. Since they are constantly questioning what they find, they can become open to a high level approach and direction of right-brain reasoning, yet this still does not guarantee awakening. When their search to find the truth behind something reaches a point where they no longer have attachment to their current concepts, or the achievements of their thinking, then they leave an opening through which awakening can reach them. Especially if they have constructed personalities that can do this in a work environment. However they do not become awakened because similar personalities with access to the higher mind are not created and used in their personal life, so they remain trapped in thinking and imagining most of the time. 
Thinking and imagining may often be the solution in the physical world, but it is also the only problem you truly have. When you think about things without consciously and carefully choosing what you think about, you expose yourself to undirected, subconscious thinking, which stealthily directs you to experience reality through imagination in the way it wants you to at every turn. The solution is actually indulging in imagination less, and consciously thinking in a more aware and directed way when you are consciously thinking. We are bombarded and saturated with too much input nowadays and encouraged and conditioned to think and imagine far more often than our ancient ancestors did, and certainly far more than is good for our well-being.
As well as being spiritual beings, we are physical beings, living in a physical world. Therefore we need to access the thinking mind to function in the physical world. We can never have total freedom from the thinking mind as long as we are in this body. Contrary to what many teachers and others are saying, you cannot stop the thinking mind from thinking. It is not designed to be quiet. It is designed to be constantly evaluating and measuring your surroundings and your experience of reality to make sure that you are not in any physical or emotional danger. Imagination is different in that we have a choice whether we indulge in it or not, when we are conscious enough to make this choice. Unless we engage with thinking and imagining to use it for our benefit — e.g. to look out for our survival and answer the questions asked of it — that is all that it should be doing. Although most of the time, with enough awareness, we can choose whether to interact with our thoughts and imagination or just ignore the thoughts and let go of the imagination.
Engaging the thinking mind to evaluate or accomplish something means that you are susceptible to the processes and patterns of your subconscious thinking mind and your imagination. You need to cultivate awareness whilst using your thinking, so you can be aware of imagination, reaction, pessimism or disempowering thinking arising. When you do, you can halt being triggered further, and avoid being taken advantage of by your thoughts. Awareness also allows you to know what is causing your discomfort, or what you’re trying to hide from others or from yourself, so you can have true choice over how to handle it. You need these awareness’s to help consciously guide your thinking away from imagination, attachments, agendas, approaches, focusing on things and taking positions that will not allow you to feel good. 
There are many times when you will need to use the thinking mind, and I am certainly not talking here about using imagination to indulge past memories or future fantasies. I’m talking about purely logistical challenges. Perhaps you have to do a creative presentation for your work or sort out the seating arrangement for a party. In those external-world situations, you absolutely need to access and interact with the thinking mind in order to accomplish your tasks. We need to interact with the thinking mind computer to do things in the outside world, just as you need your desktop or laptop computer to access and interact with the Internet. I suggest that rather than letting these thoughts employ imagination and run through your mind continually until the due date of your project, schedule a time to access your thinking process. Use only that time to plan and do the work you need to do on that particular project. After it is completed, or your allocated time is up, let the thought process about it go, and don't give it any of your attention or imagination. If you find you need more time, schedule some and do the same. Do not leave it up to the thinking mind to decide when to employ imagination to work on this task or tasks. 
Also, if you have a project or something that needs to be done, get it done as soon as possible. Get it out of the way so it’s not just another item on your internal to-do list that your thinking mind can become attached to and create imagination over, and keep you thinking about it. Recognise that you need to use the thinking mind and arrange a time to do so. The thinking mind is meant to be a tool for us to use — it is just your organic thinking computer, your translator of this physical-world experience. Use it and your imagination to serve you when you choose, not the other way around. Recognise that its main function is to keep you safe and alive and it is therefore always predisposed to focus on, and imagine, pain avoidance in some form. 
The thinking mind is scared of what it considers to be the unknown because it goes against its innate need for certainty, and that is one reason it does not like change. It will try to imagine every scenario so there is nothing unknown to it, even if it has to make up information to complete the illusion so it can believe it is fulfilling its primary drive of protecting you.
Peace is all that there is. Turmoil is a process of thinking. When there is no measurement and judgement, there is no turmoil. When there is no doing there is only being. Happening is a description created by thought. Happiness and problems have no relationship because they are generated in different parts of the brain, so you can still be happy and have problems as well. Although the more problems you perceive you have, because that perception is created by the thinking process, the less opportunity you will have to experience true happiness. Life is basically too easy now. There is only really ourselves to take care of, or really we only need to take care of ourselves, not the community as a whole as we once did. This has lead to the selfish culture we have now-a-days where people see themselves as separate from their community and not a valid part of mankind as a whole.

The thinking mind as it develops can also see itself as powerful when it starts to experience itself as separate two others and can influence them with its behaviours.

The thinking mind is set up in a way that means it gets no feedback about itself and how is functioning. It is basically in reaction all the time and blind to how it is causing its own suffering. The conscious right brain mind is the only way for the subconscious left brain mind to see what it is doing by acting as a mirror.

The Thinking Mind is concerned with what others may think about it (you), because it uses that as part of how it defines itself (you).

Everything you experience is filtered through thinking mind to evaluate threat. Unfortunately the thinking mind is now fully based on the concept of the self. Therefore everything is measured and evaluated against the concept of the self, which is the experiencer, and this creates a minimum of half a second delay in your experience of anything. When the self dissolves, perception speeds up when there is only experiencing and now experiencer, no seer, only the seen. Then you become the experience of whatever has attention. It is the experience without the evaluation of the experience, because there is nothing to evaluated against. The self is what everything is evaluated against.

Cravings comes from the assumption that once you get whatever it is you crave, you will become, or experience, in a certain way that will alleviate suffering.

The thinking mind works with and needs concepts and frameworks.

New information is just act on a broken foundation of perception, so it cannot be effective on its own. Only by resolving the foundation of the self can we resolve human suffering.

Right, wrong, good and bad are concepts of the conceptual thinking mind.

Psychological states can only create imagined experiences they cannot create actual experiences. They certainly cannot create spiritual experiences. Psychological states cannot create awakened states. You can wind yourself up into a state of apparent bliss, but once the indulgence ends, so does the state. This is therefore a psychological state only. You may then use these created states to try to convince others, or yourself, that you are experiencing high level states, however you will not get the approval you think you will. You will not experience them for real whilst you are indulging in these constructed psychological states, because they are based on self-importance any self promotion, and also trying to force yourself to 'become' something else. You cannot experience Psychological states and Spiritual states at the same time. Psychological states keep the self in place because they are all about the self, and is therefore the opposite of experiencing freedom from the self, which is the only way to experience true joy and bliss. I  have seen many people psychologically build themselves into states that would appear to be brought on by the kundalini rising, however these psychological states have nothing to do with raising kundalini, and are therefore just an attempt to become different, or be perceived in a certain way by others.

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	The Thinking Mind Is mainly designed For Pain Avoidance
The programmed Primal drive of the Operating System is to stay alive and be physically pain free. This of course influences your low-level, sub-conscious thinking, so sub-conscious thinking will always be driven by the Primal need for survival, pain avoidance and comfort. If you constantly experience life through the thinking mind and the imagination, suffering is inevitable, because of the approaches you take, how you approach events, situations and interactions, or what you will consistently focus on. The thinking mind looks at everything you perceive from the perspective of “how can this hurt me, or trigger my own self-abuse?” “What kind of pain can this cause me?” "What do I need to be wary of regarding this?" That means its main approach is always going to be on pain, pain avoidance and fear-based issues one way or another. Because you get the experience of what you focus on, you get to experience fear or discomfort to some degree almost all the time when you think and imagine subconsciously. That is why thinking and imagining are meant to be only two of the tools we use to experience life. 
Almost all of the strategies of the thinking mind are strategies to get out of pain, avoid pain, or to stay out of pain. Pleasure to the thinking mind is really lack of pain. True pleasure is experienced in the right side of the brain through the true experience of things and not in the left, thinking part of the brain employing imagination. If you function solely through the thinking mind, you are going to live through its evaluation and imagination of what could cause pain, and therefore its ability to create fear over anything it chooses. The best you can expect experiencing life through the left brain and imagination is brief periods of satisfaction. That is the highest-level experience of pleasure the thinking mind can give you. This satisfaction never lasts long because then the thinking mind has to look for something else to evaluate and imagine to keep you safe because that is its job, and also to keep your attention. It can only evaluate based on threat to itself, as this is part of its true purpose: to help the human form to avoid physical danger, pain and injury, and thereby survive. 
Thanks to its ability to imagine what could cause pain, it now also works to evaluate situations that have not even come about yet, to see if they hold any risk of pain or injury. I will cover this process in more detail later in the book. For now, all you need to know is that this evaluation process can cause fear and discomfort by generating the appropriate emotions to fit each imagined event, situation or interaction. The problem with the thinking mind today is that it creates emotional and mental pain through imagination to avoid experiencing real pain. It imagines the painful event, situation, interaction or stimulus as if it were real in order to anticipate a way to do its main job of avoiding real pain. As long as you allow it to function like this without consciously overriding it in the way I will teach you, you will suffer, because experiencing something through imagination is like experiencing something for real in most cases. How can you avoid it if you do what it takes to experience it without it actually happening?

It’s Not Pain or Pleasure, as many believe, It’s Pain Or Less Pain - I believe that the primary drive of the thinking mind is not as previously assumed, to move away from pain and towards pleasure, but is purely about pain avoidance only. Yes, there is another part of the higher mind that draws us towards feeling good, but it is overridden by the stronger and more convincing thinking mind. It has taken control of our perception of reality through a virtual-reality loop it has created using thinking and imagination. Less pain to the thinking mind is perceived as pleasure. If you look at it in the form of the scale below, you will see that a movement away from pain is pleasure if viewed in this way. It is not equal to the sense of pleasure you would get from moving towards something that would create in you the feeling of true pleasure; it is just the pleasure gained by moving away from pain.

Pain !  ---- 1 --- 2 -----------------------------------  Pleasure

1 = Pain. The move to 2 equals Less Pain, which equals pleasure to the thinking mind. This association is one reason people will only move far enough away from something for it to become less painful, rather than towards something else that would allow them to experience real pleasure. They experience the reduction of pain, even just a little, as pleasure. You need to understand that moving away from pain and moving towards pleasure are two completely different drives, as I will show you in a later section. The mind spends most of its time living in the future and using the past as a basis for evaluating new possible threats in the future. It will always be looking for the possible pain in any situation as part of its underlying purpose, which is to keep you safe from harm. Therefore, if you allow it freedom to sub-consciously perceive as it wants to do, untrained and undirected consciously, it will always be creating or indulging in pain perception of some kind, and therefore creating imagination that will give you the experience of these things. At the very least, this will cause discomfort for you. It is only doing the job it was designed for, and I believe it was not actually meant to hijack the imagination in the way it has. We were never meant to be so disconnected from right-brain awareness in the way we are; and we were not meant to function solely through the survival-focused thinking mind in the way we do, and overriding our true experience with constant imaginary experiences. We must consciously move our awareness from physical and emotional survival thinking, to emotionally thriving thinking, before we can become truly aware of our true potential, and awaken from this dream.
If the mind does not know the difference between what actually happens and what you vividly imagine, then how can you avoid pain by subconsciously, or consciously imagining what could go wrong, and bringing it into the present moment experience of reality, and generating the corresponding emotions, without it ever happening? What really happens is that you end up experiencing far more discomfort or suffering than you would if you only had the real, in-the-moment events, situations and interactions to experience. The thinking mind is actually creating massive amounts of discomfort and turmoil for you by running numerous imagined painful or possibly disturbing scenarios in an attempt to avoid pain. How exactly does that work to help you avoid suffering? How does it help to indulge this process and make yourself feel bad? All you’re doing is borrowing suffering from an imagined future and experiencing it now, when it has not even happened for real. Did you know 10 minutes ago that you would be reading exactly what is written on this page? Honestly? Here is an exercise that will help you get to the truth of this illusion of being able to predict the future that has most people trapped to a small or larger extent. Especially when most, if not all, of this imagining or fantasising, is based on what could go wrong, instead of what is or what could go right, from a genuine believing and expecting perspective. 

I have had many tragedies in my life, most of which never occurred.
             -- “Mark Twain”	

You have to be totally honest here if you genuinely want more peace and tranquillity in your life. On a normal sheet of paper, write down all the things you think will happen tomorrow. I don’t mean things that are scheduled or planned, or things you are doing again, or things you already know enough about to guess how they will go. Funnily enough, even those things never go exactly as you expect. What I mean are conversations you are not expecting to have, people you might meet or bump into that you are not expecting to meet, phone calls you didn’t expect, traffic or travel issues, events, situations or interactions that are out of the ordinary, new or different topics of conversations, and so on. Write down everything you think will happen and don’t cheat. You’ll only be cheating yourself! Use your crystal ball if you must: peer into the future and write down your predictions for tomorrow. This exercise is for the sake of your own peace, tranquillity and freedom, so do your best to be genuine.
After you have completed your prediction list, put it away in a place where you can forget about it for a day and go about your life. Then, at the end of tomorrow (or whatever day you made the predictions about), just before you go to sleep, take out your list. With TOTAL honesty, tick all the things you were ‘absolutely’ correct about in every detail. Then on a separate sheet, write down in detail all the things that happened that you weren’t expecting to happen. Remember, honesty with yourself is the key to freedom in your life, so be totally honest with yourself here. If you lie to yourself about this, you will lie to yourself about anything. That is just fear manifesting as control, not freedom, and is probably your public identity (ego) wanting you to appear different to yourself so you can feel better about yourself, and that is because you don't have true self-acceptance yet. 
It is time to break the spell the critical self and imagination has over you. How many things did you actually get correct? And how many things happened that you didn’t expect, even in the smallest way? Were there conversations that ended up being different than you thought, gossip about topics you didn’t expect, and other variations? Events that happened that you could not have imagined happening? What you are looking for is evidence that life unfolds in a way that is not in agreement with what your imagination told you would happen. Your imagination may have gone over every scenario it could think of about how a meeting or interaction would go, and STILL it did not get it right!
So why even indulge in the imagining of it? Doing so usually just causes you discomfort, torment, struggle and suffering, none of which you needed to experience because the imaginary scenarios were not actually real. In fact, if you have been truly honest with yourself, you will probably find that you were almost never correct. Everything occurred very differently from what you imagined in some way, or even in many ways. Repeat this exercise as many times as you need to prove that you do not have the power to foretell the future, not by an hour, not even by five minutes with any accuracy. (If you believe you are psychic and got very little correct, accept that your ability is more about your ability to imagine well and convincingly than it is to tune into something higher. Be honest. This will free you). 
By the way, this exercise is not designed to make you feel bad because it takes away some illusion of certainty your imagination tried to give you. It is designed to show you that most of your time spent suffering over completely fantasised outcomes is a waste. By indulging in all this imagining and fantasising, you are missing out on all you do have available to you in the present moment, and you are just using your ability to imagine as some kind of gift that only supports you. This exercise is designed to free you from these illusions, and allow you to live more in the moment, and feel genuinely good, and good about yourself, far more often. 
At this moment, you probably don’t even realise how much time and effort these fantasies and imaginings are taking up, or how much discomfort you experience by indulging in them, either by conscious choice, or because your thinking mind is directing you subconsciously to indulge them. How much of the stuff that you suffer discomfort or worse over actually comes true? It is important to understand that you attract situations into your life with your expectations. You will find that by focusing on these imagined events, situations or outcomes you can actually cause them to have an increased chance of happening. You not only borrow the pain from the future by imagining it (because your thinking mind does not truly know it is just imagined so you experience it anyway), you also give it more chance to happen for real through attraction. 
Most people don’t realise that most of the life experiences they have are in line with those they truly expect to have. They are in fact, helping to attract them. Imagine the change in your life if all your fantasies were of feeling great, of uplifting and inspiring outcomes, events and situations. Once you understand the power of conscious thought, you will realise that it is pointless going over scenario after scenario, past or future, consciously or subconsciously, in an attempt to know exactly what is going to happen. Just so you can have some sense of certainty, when the conflict and torment this creates is not actually in your present experience of reality; realise now that you are suffering for nothing.  

Today is the day you were worrying about yesterday. 
Did your worrying actually reward you with a better day?	

I promise you: when you stop using all of your processing power and attention to go over multiple imagined events, situations or interactions, you will have all the brain power, consciousness and awareness of choices you will need to deal with any situation that occurs in the present moment. Why endure discomfort and suffering to avoid discomfort or suffering? That is insanity as far as I can see. There is no need to imagine the future; it will become a present moment at some point. Deal with it then, with a clear mind and with the increased ability to respond spontaneously that the right-brain experiential mind can give you.

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	The Experiential Mind – Your Higher Self
Right-Brain Characteristics	
• Creative Reasoning	• Artistic	• Free Flowing	
• Free Of Boundaries	• Imaginative	• Intuitive	
• Limitless	• Empathic 	• Looks at Big Picture	
• Spatially Aware	• Non-Verbal	• Visual Imagery	
• Feeling	• Appreciative	• Present Moment Experience	
• Compassionate	• Philosophical 	• Holistic	
• Takes Risks	• Equality	• Carefree	
• Self-Reliant	• All Possibilities	• Nurturing	
• Spontaneous	• Focused on Now	• Voice of Higher Reasoning	
• Self Love	• Self-acceptance	• Looks For Positive	
• Knows Beyond Knowledge	• Optimistic	• Seeks Growth	
• Gratitude	• Happiness	• Joy	
• True Emotions	• Experience of Heaven	• Feeling Interpretations	
• Instinctive	• Open To New	• Free From Attachments	
• Togetherness and Oneness	• Universal Connection	• Curious	
• Lover	• ‘Feels’ People	• Carer	
• Me & You	• Random	• All Embracing	
• Universal	• Interconnectedness	• Everything Is Just An Event	
• Awe	• Wonder	• Complete	

	Fig 5.  The Experiential Mind	

Grace can only be experienced through the right side of your brain; the left side is purely for function and evaluation. The experiential mind is the part of our brain where the first level of the higher self is experienced, as well as feelings of happiness, joy, beauty, peace, awe, bliss etc. This is also where instinctive thought, gut feeling, and inspiration come from, with the aid of the right prefrontal lobe, which is the transmitter-receiver for our communication with universal influence. The experiential mind is where higher perception is generated and experienced. It can be experienced as the calming voice of higher reason, and the part of the brain that experiences and perceives your moment-by-moment experience of life. It holds no thinking memory of the past and creates no future fantasies. Experiencing life more fully through this part of the brain by staying out of imagination will help you to live in the present moment more often, and have more opportunity to be truly happy and at peace. Because of the deterioration of our thinking and the onset of constant imagination over the last three to four thousand years, it has now become painful for us to be in the left-brain thought process and imagination all the time, and we were never meant to live there anyway. Therefore, we’re ready to, and need to, move into a much more right-brain experiencing of awareness.
Virtually anything experienced with this right part of the brain is experienced as feelings and imagery and not thoughts. Of course, feelings and imagery can always be translated to thoughts by the thinking mind, meaning they can be adjusted or manipulated to be perceived in any way it needs to suit its agenda, especially if you are not consciously aware of it doing so. The right brain is our connection to true inspiration and spontaneity. I believe this is the part of the brain that we will evolve to live through most of the time in our future — certainly whilst we still need the physical mind in the way that we require it now. Eventually, as a society, we will only access the thinking mind when we need to do functional tasks, and to evaluate situations in the physical world that require a decision making process. In my opinion, this is how our Neanderthal ancestors would have been able to function before the imagination became the human experience of reality. They would have lived in the moment with no attachment to time, and certainly without holding onto the past or imagining the future either as good or bad, as we do now. 
If you had asked a caveman, “How long does it take to go and bring water, or light a fire?” he would have said, “It takes as long as it takes.” Possibly he would have wondered why you had asked such a question. The right brain has been virtually isolated from our moment-by-moment experience by the left-brain thinking mind with its thinking-imagining virtual-reality loop. We need to stay out of imagination as much as possible and start activating the right brain again by using it, because this is where we experience our Oneness. From this place, not only can we experience our reality and this world in a much higher, pleasing way, we can also interact with each other better, and treat each other with more love, caring and compassion. We can become a society of caring, sharing, community-minded, self-aware beings. The experience of the heart is actually the experience of your right brain, which gives the sensation of being the heart. When people talk about listening to their heart, it is actually the right-brain hemisphere giving them the experience of the heart talking in a feeling way. The right brain is where psychic ability is experienced, although that does not guarantee that a person with true psychic abilities (and not just a convincing imagination) will function from the right brain during their everyday life. Some may have access to the psychic ability of their right brain while still functioning predominantly from their left-brain thinking mind, just like anyone else.
I will tell you in detail about the process called Deeksha, ‘The Oneness Experience’. This process re-balances the electrical activity of the brain and quietens the disempowering thinking and imagining activity of the thinking-imagining loop. It also reactivates the connection to the right lobe of the brain to give you a higher experience of life, and a more peaceful, pleasurable experience moment by moment. Higher right-brain awareness looks to serve the greater good and moves you towards feeling good long-term, as well as feeling good in the moment. It has a different quality of reasoning to the left brain. Although the right brain is still logical in most cases, its logic comes from optimism and an expectation or drive towards happiness. Right-brain logic is a balanced perception of your perceived reality, which many people rarely experience or use.
Watch kids at play, especially young children that have not been conditioned out of spontaneous thought and so-called illogical play-acting by their thinking mind’s judgement system (inherited from others). They just love it; they are genuinely happy when they can function like this. They use the right brain and its inspirational loop to inspire their imagination which allows them to experience new things, without the left-brain judgements over how they are acting. Nor are they very often concerned about how others may judge them, or what people may think of them (certainly at very a young age). These concepts will be conditioned into them as they grow older, by people who really want to be as free as these children are, and how they probably were before they subconsciously adopted these judgement systems. How many of you would truly love to be like kids again, honestly? By that I mean childlike, not childish as many adult can still be. You can be child-like without being childish, no matter what your age or position. Being able to enjoy yourself no matter what you do, is a far better example to set your children than only doing what others may find acceptable. Make no mistake, the people whom you worry are judging you, if they are, are probably unhappy themselves because they are using on themselves the very same painful judgement systems they will be using towards you. So why on earth would you want these people to have any influence over how you feel? You can influence those around you as either an example or a warning. Which would you rather be? All the emotions you are truly seeking at a deeper level can only come from the right-brain experience of your perception of reality — that is, unless you are seeking self-importance, significance, satisfaction, safety through certainty and control as your highest emotional experiences.
Your right brain, employing your right prefrontal lobe, is also responsible for sending out emotional information and imagery to your guides to tell them what you want to, or expect to, experience more of emotionally. This is how The Secret in the movie The Secret really works — this part of the brain sends out information that attracts much of your future experiences of reality. Be very mindful of what you choose to focus on, because each time you focus on anything, you create emotions over the story you are telling yourself about what you are perceiving, and are therefore sending out emotional information and imagery to your guides about what you want to, or expect to experience more of in your life. This is how you help to create your emotional experience of your future.

Joy and happiness cannot come to you, they can only be experienced by you.

The conscious mind reflects back to this unconscious mind the pain that is causing itself through the beliefs, expectations and strategies it uses. Without this reflection the subconscious mindis ignorant of the suffering it creates for itself as there is no internal monitoring process within the subconscious thinking mind. The more aware you become of your thinking and your concept of your 'self' (conscious), the more it sees what it is doing. At first you may just feel worseabout yourself, but the subconscious mind will already be looking for new strategies, believes or approaches that will allow to suffer less. It has to do this because it is a pain avoidance mechanism.

Some people, as they become conscious/aware, they get a big shock as they realise the things that they do that cause themselves pain, And often say that the awareness of is because it has just started happening. This is not true. It's been happening for a very long time, but they have just become aware of it and started experiencing it consciously, possibly for the first time ever.

Watch how active and experiential children are.

The right brain is far more visual and thinks and experiences in imagery.

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What I Believe Went Wrong

I believe that our path of evolution has taken us from just functioning from our operating system (base-drive primal programming) to a rudimentary ability to think and learn (basic thinking mind), to developing and allowing complex thinking. Next I believe we will evolve from predominantly left-brain thinking and imagining (which is how most people experience themselves and life now), to thinking and experiencing in a more balanced way (balanced left- and right-brain function), using very little imagination, which has not happened for many yet. Then we will evolve to just ‘experiencing’ all the time (predominantly right brain, and then experiencing beyond just the physical mind), a state which very, very few people can experience at this moment in time, and far fewer still, that can experience it consistently. 
Basically, everything we perceive externally (the stimulus, the event, situation or interaction) first goes through our operating system (the unconscious primal mind) to evaluate it for physical threat, and is then evaluated by the sub-conscious thinking mind. If something is deemed as important physically (or can be imagined as a threat emotionally), it will get your conscious awareness, your attention. The left brain is also evaluating this information subconsciously. If it is allowed to pass, you get to fully experience the stimulus using the right brain hemisphere. Our experience of life through the right brain, unfortunately in most cases, gets censored by the left-brain thinking mind, and it uses imagination to replace the experience of it with imagination, which is generated by your thinking concept of it. Or what your subconscious gives you based on things like its underlying agenda and your true expectations. So the experience of the stimulus stops at the thinking concept of whatever it was, and you get the imagined version of it instead. The thinking mind then applies meaning to this information (how it describes the stimulus to itself) based first on your perceived value or lack of value (your perceived self-worth), beliefs, expectations, agenda, approach, focus, language and other criteria, and then the quality of your reasoning. 
All sensory data has to pass through, and is hijacked and evaluated by, your left-brain thinking process, before you are allowed to truly experience it. Although your right brain does give you information about whatever it is experiencing, your left brain can override your right brain experience and convince you, using imagination, that you are experiencing something else (no matter how aware you may think you are). Alternatively, it can stop you experiencing it altogether by using imagination to take you into the past or future, psychological time. The thinking mind can also use imagination to simulate an experience in order to keep control over you. This means that your experience of reality predominantly comes from the outcome of your thinking and your imagination. Your experience of life is therefore at the mercy of a confused thinking calculator and the imagination that thinking has created. The thinking mind is the interface that deciphers the external world and evaluates it for threat, as well as giving us our choices in any moment. 
It should just be for making decisions based on how it perceives the input, and allow us to experience our world without imagination, unless we choose to use imagination as a tool. I believe there are many reasons that contribute to the thinking mind taking control of our reality experience. My contemplation on this subject have led me to believe that imagination, and our new-found ability to imagine reality as if it were real, should have been used to find ways to help us evolve and help us feel good. It was meant to be part of an evolution of growth and well-being, but was hijacked by the left-brain fearful thinking mind for its own pain avoidance purposes. (That is why almost all subconscious imagination is virtually always about something going wrong somehow). It was then used to preempt what the thinking mind identified as potentially dangerous events, situations or interactions, by imagining all possible or potential versions or variations of them. The thinking mind could then assume it could run through anything it could imagine that could possibly cause pain without having to endure the actual situation. By doing so, it could believe it was avoiding these situations, and therefore ultimately do its job of keeping us safe. It became so good at this, and has gained so much control over our perceptions with imagination, that all our senses and experiences are now filtered through and evaluated by the thinking mind, including those from the higher mind, and we predominantly experience the imaginary version of them. It has lost the ability to separate the challenges it creates through imagination, and the challenges that come through our external world. It also constantly keeps out attention by running scenario after scenario to keep us out of the experience of the moment so it can keep control of our perception, again in the belief it is helping us stay safe by doing so. 
I believe we started our human evolution with basic thinking and learning abilities, relying mainly on our right-brain awareness to experience life. The experiential part of the brain gives us our ability to experience the present moment, as well as our experience of Oneness, of being connected to and part of everything, or at least something much bigger than this apparently individual body. This is the part of the brain you’re functioning through when you become so totally involved in something external to you that it causes you to lose track of everything else, especially time. Time is a measurement concept brought about by the thinking mind. It is not real. The only time that is real to us is right now. The right brain is the part that allows us to genuinely experience this present moment. On the other side, the left-brain is mainly our basic thinking module. It is the part that allows us to do rudimentary linear thinking, and should be all we use it for. Life is experience, it is not meant to be imagined. 
What I believe happened physically is that the left parietal lobe in conjunction with the left prefrontal lobe reality simulator, created a loop that appears to us like reality. Although this loop gives us the illusion of being present in the moment, it is based on our perception of our past memories, our imagined future based on past and on our present approach and focus, and our memory impressions of what we are seeing, and perhaps think we are experiencing. It is also the result of our perception using imagination to experience this moment in safety. It convinces us that it is reality. The thinking mind keeps us in this thinking, evaluating, imagining and fantasising loop that keeps us out of the moment and separate from our connection to Creation. We are blocked from the truly wonderful experience of the moment, and of course from experiencing Oneness. 
By isolating our right-brain input and giving us an imagined conceptual illusion instead, this virtual reality loop keeps most people in tension and stress most of the time, or discomfort at the very least, without even realising it is causing this itself. It’s like watching the world on an internal cinema screen. Our mind’s eye, which is where we view most of our world, is not the same as being fully present in, and experiencing, the present, the now, all that is actually real. What I call our internal cinema is our imagined impression of reality, and it manages to pass itself off as real life. It’s like seeing an image of reality just behind your eyes but not actually through your eyes. 

Fig 6.  Left and Right Parietal Lobes

In the early days of our evolution, I believe we were actually semi-enlightened or semi-awakened, because back then we had to live in the moment, because at that time we hadn't grown the pre-frontal lobe, the reality simulator, to take us out of the moment. We would have functioned much more through the right brain, and just used the thinking mind to make basic decisions. Scientists believe that somewhere in the last two million years a change occurred: we started to develop a new part of the brain. They call this new part of the brain the prefrontal cortex, or the prefrontal lobes. 
It may have been nowhere near as long as 2 million years ago, and my feeling is that it was far less. I suggest that the significant change came about around 40 to 50,000 years ago, or at least that is when its effects started to be experienced more outwardly. Signs and evidence of man becoming more active in a thinking way started about 45,000 years ago, which would seem to confirm my feelings about the time period. Perhaps evolution reached a stalemate or a status quo, with very little movement occurring, and universal influence decided a change was required to speed up its learning experience. Alternatively, perhaps this shift or addition had always been planned. 

Fig 7.  Left and Right Prefrontal Lobes

Amongst its other functions, the left prefrontal lobe is the part of the brain that allows us to imagine anything we can think of or remember in an experiential way. Our internal Virtual Reality Simulator. If you can imagine it, you can experience it as if it were real. The mind actually does not know the difference between what it experiences through our senses or through imagination, because they arrives to it through the same process of data transfer. If we think of something, we can actually imagine it in detail, including generating the emotions we attach to it, and experiencing it fully, as if it were actually happening. I believe that what these new lobes of the brain gave to us was, and is, detailed imagination and inspiration. Human beings could now have an idea and run simulations of it until we found what worked best, or come up with new ways (through inspiration - right brain pre-frontal lobe) to make it better, before we had even made it or done it, without going through hundreds if not thousands of years of trial and error. Imagination eliminates most of the need for actual physical trial and error.
As this reality simulator developed, it gave our ancestors the ability to imagine and make new tools, eating utensils and shelters, cultivate crops better, even turn a round rock or a slice of a tree into a wheel. It also gave creation a way of speeding up evolution by putting ideas into our minds as moments of inspiration through our right pre-frontal lobe.  This part of the right brain connects us, or at least connects us in another way, to the voice of Creation and universal influence. Unfortunately, the ability to imagine based on our level of separateness thinking have also caused our disconnection from the experience of Oneness. What makes us different from all other animals I believe, is mainly our ability to consciously decide what we do next, and our ability to imagine anything that we want to, or could experience, and use that as trial and error to evolve. Also our ability to bring back memories using imagination. Every other animal I believe, lives fully in the moment and simply experiences its life. 
As the thinking mind became more complex, it started to create emotions to give meaning to moments, so it could evaluate better and so it would know what to remember and what to let go (I will talk more about this soon). As these emotions became more complex and as the use of imagination became stronger, the thinking mind started to imagine situations that would give the experience of these emotions, and these could cause us suffering. The thinking mind started to recognise that it could preempt what ‘could’ cause it pain in any way, including emotionally, rather than just what actually would cause pain to the physical body. If it had an idea about something that might cause pain, it could imagine the experience of it, and its outcome, based on its ideas, beliefs, and expectations, which had also started to grow in complexity. It would then work to avoid these potentially painful possibilities by imagining the possible variations and situations that could bring them about, which you then get the experience of. 
Surely it could do the job of pain avoidance it was programmed to do even better with this new-found tool. The downside is that we experience what we imagine, so how could it escape the experience of what it imagined? It needed to imagine even more to try to avoid the pain the imagining brought. It became constantly obsessed with evaluating and imagining more situations to avoid, including those it was imagining. It also realised that its memory of the past could be used to evaluate the possible outcomes and variations of situations in the future, and if it could define you by your past it could be even more certain about its imaginations of the future. 
Obviously, at some point, things became quite confused. The thinking mind lost most of its ability to distinguish between the pain caused by the imagined situations and outcomes it was generating, and the reality it was truly presented with. In fact it lost the ability to define the difference between real and imagined. It became overtaken by its fear of emotions, which for the most part were being generated through the thinking and imagining loop. Without really knowing it, the thinking mind came to see imaginary situations, events and interactions as a new threat to be avoided, so it needed to imagine more events, situations and interactions that could carry a threat, so it could then do an even better job of avoiding them! It became trapped in its own loop of thinking and imagining. Thinking and imagining in this way is no longer recognised as a separate process by the thinking mind, and as a result it has lost touch with the true experience of the moment and life, and the mind now lives in an almost total imaginary state.
It is around the time that imagination became the new reality experience, that we pretty much lost our true connection to the experience of the present moment completely, and our ability to experience Oneness. Once we became that disconnected from right-brain awareness, we also no longer had access to higher spontaneous guidance. We therefore became susceptible to the sole guidance of the fearful left-brain thinking mind, and also to those people who know how to manipulate it. We become increasingly isolated from our experience of something bigger than just ourselves. We started to feel more and more alone because we became more and more obsessed with our thinking concept of ourselves as a separate and often damaged entity. This separation started thousands of years ago. The thinking mind became an individual entity connected to nothing, relying solely on itself and its concepts of reality, and its imaginings, at best suspicious of everything other than its own thoughts and imagined realities. It began to rely solely on its imagined situations, its virtual reality loop, to navigate through life, and that is basically what we experience as our reality now. 
Unfortunately, we experience events, situations and interactions based on how we look at them; our agenda in that moment, how we approach them and use our focus to think about them. Therefore, if our thinking mind’s default approach and therefore focus is pain avoidance in all its forms (including imagined and created emotional pain), then consider what our bias is going to be when we give our attention to anything (unless we are conscious enough to continually override it). Pain avoidance in one form or another of course! The thinking mind, due to its need for pain avoidance, is predisposed to focus on fear-based issues or ideas, and to look at everything and anything as if it were capable of causing possible, expected, or imminent minor or major pain in some form. This is how it does its job of helping us avoid perceived pain, and therefore survive. This new dysfunctional process of avoiding imagined pain that causes even more imagination has been cultivated and perfected by the thinking mind for maybe three and a half to four thousand years. It has therefore caused humanity (human-kind) to become what it is today.
I have a couple of examples that might help you recognise this process going on in yourself. Have you ever driven miles with very little memory of your journey? Where were you? Have you ever been reading a book with no external distractions, only to finish a page and realise that you don’t remember reading virtually any of that page? Where were you? By the way, if you do that with this book, go back and read what you missed again. Be totally present while you do so, and give it your full attention. Keep bringing yourself back to the page and to the experience of actually reading what is on the page in each and every moment. This will help you practise staying in the moment, and will also help you learn what you need to from this book. 
What about when something surprises you and brings you back into the present? Say for instance, you’re driving a car and someone pulls out in front of you, and your need to survive jogs you into the present moment so your mind can fully evaluate the situation. You suddenly come back from ‘somewhere else’ and become present. If you are aware enough of yourself, you will notice that you were not present right before that moment; you were somewhere else, and could have actually been there for ages. It’s like being woken up from a dream, but you were already supposedly awake. This is commonly called daydreaming. I call it your virtual reality dream. You were dreaming by being in your virtual reality loop at the time, somewhere else in life and time, and not actually present to truly experience life. You were imagining life instead of actually living it consciously. 
Once the stimulus has been evaluated, you will soon return to your internal movie screen and your virtual reality thinking and imagining loop, just behind your eyes, as soon as the threat is over. Your mind is conditioned to live through imagination so you will unlikely be able to keep your awareness in the present moment for long, unless you can consciously choose to do so. Often you will enter imagination and start re-running what you perceive to have just happened. You may fantasise about different outcomes where you may have put the perceived perpetrator in their place, or acted differently than you did, perhaps to have the illusion of 'winning'. This is just another imagination process that keeps your attention out of the present moment and stuck in your imagined virtual-reality. In fact, if you can become really conscious of this process, you will see that most of your experience of reality is just your vivid and mostly subconscious imagination.
As a species, we have pretty much been trapped in this internal loop of think–imagine–think, or think–imagine/simulate–evaluate for thousands of years. Your thoughts and your imagination have become combined. It’s not real life. In this physical linear reality, the future has to be imagined because it hasn’t happened yet. It’s an illusion that is imagination using past to evaluate an expected future, based on past, and keeps you from actually experiencing life in the present moment. Entering this loop happens so fast that you probably don’t even realise that it is happening. It gives you what you believe to be your experience of reality. We are basically missing our lives, and living in an imaginary world, because only this present moment actually exists for us, and the true experience of it is the only thing that is real, and our imagination keeps us elsewhere. Most of the time (or perhaps almost all of the time for some of you, if you’re honest) this imaginary world is not a nice place to be. It certainly doesn’t allow you to feel happy and joyful because happiness comes from another part of the brain, and not from your thinking mind or its low level imaginings. 
I want to help you break free of this uncomfortable loop of imaginary illusion masquerading as your reality. In the image below, you will see how thought feeds into imagination, and imagination replies back to thought with the concept of its imagined reality, based on the thinking that fuelled it. The loop repeats so fast that it appears to be just one process, creating the illusion that you are actually experiencing reality.

	Fig 8.   The Thinking & Imagining Virtual
Reality Loop	

The left parietal lobe and the left prefrontal lobe working together, can bypass the senses and pretend to be the experiential part of the brain (the right hemisphere). This is why the mind can convince you of almost anything, and why it can fool you into believing you have experienced anything it wants you to believe. The most convincing liar you will ever meet or have to deal with is your thinking mind when it wants to convince you of something, usually to get you to conform to its needs. I believe we are only just now reaching a level of awareness that is allowing us to possibly see this process going on in ourselves. In reality, however, there are still not many who can see it clearly yet. This is slowly changing. 
When I realised that we had a separate thinking mind, my first response to my teacher in India, Rajeev Ji, was, “I think God made a mistake. I think that the functional mind (as I called it then) gaining control over us was not meant to happen.” He smiled at me yet again and said, “Yes, Mark, it could be seen as a technical malfunction.” I personally believe that Deeksha, ‘The Oneness Experience’, is a process sent by Universal Influence, or Grace, to help resolve this issue. I also now realise however that the thinking mind and the imagination taking control of us in the way it has is an absolutely valuable part of our evolution. It was meant to happen, but perhaps not to the degree it has. We needed to move on from being just an experiential stimulus-response creature interacting with its basic surroundings as most animals still do, and move forward on our path of awakening, and continue our journey back to the One. 
We need to complete our journey of true evolution and this has been part of that journey. Now is the time to start 'consciously' raising your awareness so that you can evolve beyond your thinking process sooner rather than later. I believe that within the pages of this book lays every tool and piece of information you need to bring this change about in yourself. If you are committed to this kind of conscious awareness change, it is possible. After all, we’re talking about changing the quality of your life, so it’s up to you whether you want to change it or not. It’s also up to you to make a commitment to feeling good and using discipline and commitment to consciously practise and carry out what I am sharing with you.
At some point along our evolutionary journey it would seam that people who could think better than others became more valuable somehow, or perhaps just more manipulative, than those who were physically the strongest. They became the ones that could control others the best — like the people behind the scenes who control governments and some religious organisations. It has become more important to be a good thinker in our society than to really be anything else. Those considered to be the alpha males now are rarely evaluated by their physical prowess, but by their financial success or their thinking ability, which usually comes about through what is perceived as superior thinking.
I believe that one day they will construct a computer as powerful as the thinking mind. As long as they cannot mimic the prefrontal lobe’s reality simulator, they will have a very powerful and perfectly logical super-computer. However, it will be a very, very long time before we will be able to recreate a computer that has access to the qualities that the right brain brings to us, consciousness. It is beyond what the current, limited logical mind could create. True experiences cannot be created or emulated by thought. I find it interesting that many people are afraid that computers will become so intelligent that they will become dangerous and take over the world. The thinking mind is an organic super-computer that has become confused and dysfunctional because of its association to imagination. It has taken over the world to our detriment, and ruined our quality of life in the moment. So it has already happened. My advice is that if you must use your imagination, then use it to imaging things turning out in your favor in every moment, without the desire to have anyone else suffer in any way. See yourself experiencing anything you want in a joyful and uplifting way. You deserve it.

Because the concept of self has separated you from your true experience of oneness, this causes existential suffering, which in turn causes psychological suffering. This can then cause physical suffering. All come about because of the psychological concept of the self, and the ensuing separation from the experience of oneness.

Thinking and imagining inexplicably looped together has created a fake version of consciousness which appears real to those experiencing it. We must evolve to the point where we recognise that this is a false version of consciousness. This unfortunately is the hardest thing for mankind to do at this present moment.

Every experience is filtered through the different minds to be evaluated. The Primal mind, then the Thinking mind, and then that filters it before it reaches the Experiential Higher mind. This causes a half second delay between having the experience and experiencing thoughts about it. Firstly the primal mind then the thinking mind, and if you're conscious, you then become conscious of the thoughts and the experience. This has given mind time to the experience to fit with its perception, and influence your experience of it.

About 6000 years ago or so we became self aware through thinking and imagining combining to create another level of consciousness.

Hypnosis causes the person being hypnotised to believe that what they are experiencing is real. It must be part of a process that is already in place for that to be able to happen. Actually it is already happening and your concept of self, thinking and imagining early have you in a state of hypnosis.

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The Challenge For The Westernised Mind

During the process I went through in Fiji and India, I spent a lot of time with the monk guides. I realised during my stay there, and during classes I shared with other Westerners, that there seemed to be a problem with some Westerners getting some of the teachings. I spent many hours reasoning out the teachings with my guides before my major shift in perception because I truly wanted to grasp the meaning of what was being taught. Yes, my thinking mind needed to understand — partly because I knew instinctively that doing so would change my life, and partly because at that time the ideas being presented were not totally clear to me in the way they taught them. I found that some of the others were missing out on some of the learnings, because they could not relate the experiential information or concepts to their thinking and imagining driven Western lives. The information was being presented in a very simple way that was not compatible with Western thinking approaches, so it could not be assimilated in the way it needed to be for them to see it at work, or how it related to aspects of their lives. It was quite simply, explained too simply.
I am not saying that the Indian guides were lacking in any way as teachers. They were not. They are just from a different culture and had a different approach to life and thinking than the Westerners they were trying to teach, and they could have no real understanding of that. They were absolutely fantastic. Most or all spiritual congregations usually comprise one awakened person and many followers, but not here. I believe them all to be enlightened to one degree or another. I have never known a large group of people to work together in such a coherent and happy way without any apparent conflict within themselves. They work as one because they all come from the same knowing. They just dialogue about things and relate differently than we do in the Western thinking world, as you will probably find in any old Eastern writings or ancient spiritual teachings. The Eastern approach is very spiritual and simple, whereas the Westernised mentality is very thought-driven and complex, and dominated by what for the most part can only be described as a disconnection from the truly spiritual, non-thinking knowing about life. The Westernised mind must first be approached in a way that allows understanding before it will allow information to go beyond the basic thinking mind and its need to control, and even then it will apply its own focused slant to it and corrupt it with imagination if it can.
I have watched many people being taught about life and themselves with this very simplistic Eastern approach. I personally worked with some of the people who felt very confused by what they had heard. Instinctively knowing they would be able to get the basic concepts, that were possible to explain, if they were dialogued in a way that their Western minds could relate to. I re-dialogued these teachings to them in a more complex Western way that they could more easily relate to, and they got a conceptual understanding quite quickly. These experiences actually showed me that there was a need to write this book. I believe the Westernised mind needs to be able to understand the implications of any new concept before it will allow information in. It’s as if the thinking mind has sentinels on guard choosing what will be allowed to come in and what won’t. Although our higher self innately wants to experience pleasure and we are driven by our higher mind to feel good, the thinking mind is too much in control to allow new information in freely, especially if it messes with the thinking minds certainty in any area. It needs to analyze and evaluate all incoming information for possible danger to itself, and to have certainty about it, before allowing it permission to proceed into your ability to experience it. 
That is why information that is simplified too much will cause problems with your thinking mind. It cannot comprehend what is being said, mainly because explanations from highly aware beings about awakening are often not about thinking or thought, so the thinking mind cannot relate to them or truly comprehend them from a thinking level. It usually therefore just applies knowledge it has to it or fits it into what it already knows, just to create a sense of certainty. If it can't get certainty, other issues may then be triggered by the internal public identity because it starts to feel under threat of being perceived as inadequate because it isn’t getting the concept. It starts to judge and assume others will judge you as well. Then self-criticism kicks in, especially if others 'appear' to have understood or got it, even if they haven’t really. Usually, frustration, annoyance and perhaps even anger follow, further blocking your ability to hear or experience the teaching on a deeper level. The thinking mind may then just make up what it believes it means and then gives you the imaginary illusion of the experience of it to allow you to feel that you have it, so you stop searching beyond thought, and to minimise the self-abuse.
The Westernised mind is very left-brain, thinking-mind and imagination dominant. It is more disconnected from the right hemispheric levels of awareness than some other more spiritual cultures, in my opinion, although there are now almost no cultures that do not indulge in fearful imagination. All are still based on the Concept of the 'Self'. 
The thinking mind is not looking for simplicity; it is looking for complexity so that it has certainty and does not miss anything. Much of the time, ideas need to be explained in a complex way to satisfy the thinking minds need for safety and certainty. Therefore it also makes simple things more complex than they need to be. People are revered in the Western world for the complexity of their mind, not for the simplicity of it, as Eastern seers are. We are conditioned to make things more complex than they are because the more intelligent we sound, and the more intimately we appear to understand something, the better our intellect may appear to be perceived by others. 

The thinking mind needs to be able to see in detail that there is no threat to your public identity, its safety or its control over you. Even so, the higher self is always drawing us to feel good. It is the conditioning we and our ancestors have received that makes it hard for us to hear the voice of universal influence and experience grace. In general, those in the West associate different things to spirituality than those in the East. In the Eastern world, they are traditionally far more spiritually open to the experience of higher influence and being present in their lives. Even though they too are now predominantly enslaved by their measuring and evaluating, self-importance driven thinking minds. In the West, much of the spirituality that is taught is based on the church or some organised religion, or is presented by these organisations. The approach of much of organised religion has put many people off the subject of spirituality. Many Westerners have moved away from organised religion, and even religion in general, and often dismiss any form of spirituality, because of the way it has been misunderstood or misrepresented to them through controlling and fear based religions which teach them that God has all the defects of a low awareness human. 
Our disconnection and perception of ourselves as separate from creation is, I believe, making us as a society, more disillusioned, more uncomfortable, more unhappy and angrier with life (and ourselves) as time goes by. You see these effects most obviously in adolescents and teenagers in the Western world. If you ask them what they believe about God, many will say they believe God does not exist, or is not interested in them personally other than to punish or persecute them. If they do believe in a God, they see it as vengeful, just watching and waiting to punish them, or put obstacles in their way to make life harder. They have not come across this belief system by accident. The fact that many of the teenagers I have spoken to share these type of beliefs, tells me that there is a problem with how we are taught about life by our parents, schools, and religious teachers. No matter what the intention, which I believe is ultimately good, the end result is that we are conditioned to feel individual, alone, separate and unworthy of love or even happiness one way or another. This is a symptom of the separation that has come about because of the dominance of the thinking mind. The power that the thinking mind has been able to achieve over us virtually guarantees that we are predisposed to feel separate and alone. The saying that we are born alone, we struggle and suffer and then we die alone, is typical of Western belief systems. 
We learn throughout our life’s experience that it is either ‘me or you’, which manifests often as ‘me against you’, or ‘you against me’, and that there is a system in place in the universe to punish us whenever we do something wrong. Unfortunately, most people don’t also believe that there is a system in place watching and ready to reward us when we do good. Or that no matter what happens, Universal Influence gives us just what we need at any time to raise our awareness and our ability to be happy in the long term, and it is always there to help us and give us what we truly need to raise in awareness (which of course may not be what we think we want). Because of how we are conditioned, we find many references and much evidence to prove our disconnection and the existence of this punishment system, yet we find little evidence that the opposite reward system exists. “Perhaps it does for others, but not someone like me” is a typical belief some have, and some are not even aware that they actually believe this type of thing. This misunderstanding comes about mainly because of how we have been taught and conditioned to use our expectations, approach and focus — how we have been thinking and therefore reasoning about the way we believe the world works, using low-level thought, expectation and reasoning. 
We often accept without question the belief that there is something there to punish us and apparently very little to support us. As individuals, we come to feel that we must therefore rely only on ourselves. The thinking mind will also do what it can to convince you of this totally self-focused approach in order to remain dominant in your life. It believes it needs to take this kind of control so it can do its job of protecting you. We have to recognise that it is mainly the programming we inherit from our significant carers, education frameworks, and societal thinking systems that has allowed the thinking mind and imagination to work in this way. All talk of cause and effect aside, the fact remains that we have ended up feeling that we must protect ourselves from others and from anything we don’t understand, and that includes new concepts and approaches to ourselves, and even about ourselves.
We have regular television programs and movies that show people lashing out at others to gain some kind of satisfaction, or as a way of defending themselves against the perceived attacks from others. These programs are being shown to our youth all the time, along with television soap operas that depict everyday lives of people in everyday communities… most of which seem to be about dysfunctional and often violent relationships. Our children then learn to act like the people in these programs and movies because these mediums are so powerful and perceived as real by many (this is a form of modelling whether we like it or not), because such behaviour appears to be the way to act in these situations. Actors and actresses are considered to be role models for many people’s public identities, and their actions and behaviours are often copied. We have been taught to push away, shout at, and abuse one another when we feel threatened. How can teaching people to act like this ever solve our problems or challenges, or indeed any challenges at all? They just cause more challenges. Most of this teaching is done subconsciously and not because people really want to create a society like this (although I have to say it’s quite possible the governments and the powers above them do. Fearful people are after all controllable). People just don’t know any better, because this is what has been taught and modelled for generations, certainly during the formative years of most people alive today.
The Westernised mind is conditioned to think about too many situations at once. We bring imagined situations from the future that will require action at some point and stack them in the now, and add them to those things that need to be imagined. This can cause us to feel overwhelmed and anxious, and we can become fearful and helpless at what appears like too much to do, too much to think about, too much to be wary or aware of. The thinking mind creates too much future, based on too much past, which overwhelms the present moment, and stops us being able to truly experience moment by moment. It prevents us experiencing and appreciating the true gift of life. To be truly present in the moment there has to be true acceptance for what is, so there is no thinking and imagining struggle. Only by being truly present in the moment can we experience grace, hear the voice of universal influence, and experience true happiness, joy and ultimately, true fulfillment. 

You were born in an awakened state, it just got hidden from you by thinking and imagining when the concept of the self was created.

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Our Dysfunctional Calculator

Seeing our thinking mind as an organic computer allowed me to come up with an analogy which should help you to understand how we could have started out confused about our underlaying assumed level or lack of personal value or self-worth. And how these assumptions could continue to develop and amplify, and be the basis of how we perceive and evaluate everything, including ourselves, without them ever being true in the first place. 
A calculator is a small computer. If you were to input the numbers or ‘variables’ 1.345 + 1.14.15.99 into a calculator, and press the = button, what do you think the calculator would say? One way or another, the calculator would tell you that you had tried to input a 'variable' (a piece of information) that doesn’t logically exist. You would get an error message because there are too many decimal points in the second number (in case you weren't fully present when reading and missed it). As a result, it would not be considered a real variable, and the computer would logically discard it, and refuse to use the information to for the next part of any calculation. If it had allowed you to do the calculation, you would have come out with a non-existent number or variable as an answer. If it had allowed the non-existent variable to be accepted as real, it would automatically corrupt any future calculation. It could only further distort or worsen an already incorrect starting point. Which would of course no longer be genuinely real or valid. 
The thinking-mind computer is very similar to a calculator, with one major difference: it actually cannot tell the difference between what actually happens and what you vividly imagine. So it already does not know the difference between a real or imagined variable. Basically, anything that you can vividly imagine as being real, is classed as an acceptable variable, and can be used in your calculations of your perception of yourself, your level or lack of perceived value or self-worth, also in evaluating events, situations, interactions, and ultimately your experience of life. Do you consider that your thinking calculator would function well, and give truly valid information, if you had been inputting vividly imagined, but inaccurate variables into your evaluation process of yourself and your perception of reality, for almost all of your life? I think it is guaranteed that it would not be working well, nor accurately. It would certainly not hold an accurate view of your perceived self, or your perception of reality.
As an example, let’s use a simple set of variables that are totally imaginable by a young, inexperienced mind, with very little life experience to use to evaluate events, situations and interactions. Let’s see how a child’s sense of reality can be completely changed and blown out of balance, by accepting what are largely or completely imaginary truths, assumptions or variables. A young boy  comes home from school with a ribbon that he has won a spelling competition in his class (I use a boy in this example because boys are wired towards achievement at this age and girls are not). The child is very excited because he expected to gain some level of praise or approval. He believes he will feel loved and that his mother will be proud of his achievement when he tells her. Meanwhile, the mother has had a really bad day. She has run out of patience because her new baby has been crying for hours, and nothing she does seems to quieten it down. Additionally, she has just now trapped her finger in the cupboard door. As her older child comes in pushing the ribbon into her face with excitement, she finally snaps, “Go away and leave me alone. I’m not interested. I have more important things to deal with!” 
You and I may realise that this is really just a reaction to becoming overwhelmed. The mother is reacting out of frustration, not because she doesn’t care. She may have been spoken to in a similar manner by her own mother, and may have been conditioned to think it’s ok to react in this way. Or perhaps just at that moment it was the only reaction she could give. She may have regretted it immediately but decided to wait until later to apologise. Instead, she forgets because she has so much to occupy her mind, or she fails to realise the effect it had on her child, and just dismisses the incident entirely. The child, however, because of his underdeveloped understanding of people and the world, is crushed. Inexperienced in the skills of life, he doesn’t know to say to himself, “Oh well, Mum must have had a bad day today. The baby has been crying a lot, so she was probably already frustrated. Maybe other things have happened too. In any case, I can dismiss any response I got at that moment, because she is overwhelmed and not in a good state. I know she truly loves me, so I can come back when she is in a better mood and get a different response.” 
Can you see how this would be an unrealistic reaction for an inexperienced child? Instead, not knowing what was really going on, the child perhaps decides from his mother’s reaction that he is not important, and his reasoning goes of and decides that maybe there is something wrong with him. Because imagination takes over, and it seams real, he could easily make this mistake in judgement about what was actually going on, and mistakenly allow his imagination of the incident to lower his perceived level of self-worth, and self-esteem. Simply because of what he perceived to be happening at that time, through his inexperience and lack of awareness. Can you see how easily this mistake could be made? Did you ever make this kind of mistake in your assumptions in your past?
Children accept any response from a significant adult as truly representative of their value to them and possibly to others, and this ultimately effects their perceived value to themselves. If the child then has several more experiences like this, either with the same person, or with others, he will come to expect this kind of treatment, and therefore will experience it in some form regularly, perhaps from himself, even if it has to be imagined to give him certainty about how to evaluate and define himself. He will now have a growing belief that there is something inherently wrong with him, and an underlying assumption that he is possibly of little or no value. In this child’s case, his thinking mind will start looking for other evidence to see if his new assumption about his low worth is true. The thinking mind is adept at finding evidence to support whatever it expects to find, no matter what it is looking for, whether it is real or not. Even if it has to imagine it to create certainty. Any perceived, real or imagined evidence at all will be accepted as real, and applied to his calculations and evaluations about and over himself, even those that are based on incorrect and imagined perceptions. 
As mature adults, we know this assumption of a lack of worth over this situation not to be true, but a child with an inexperienced mind will subconsciously or consciously take their assumption to be absolutely real. This is what the thinking mind does because it is designed to evaluate reality as it sees it. It always needs to work out what to think to have certainty. It also needs to evaluate what it believes to be possibly true, so that it knows how to protect you from the perceived consequences if its assumptions indeed turn out to be true. What you focus on, and how you focus on it, ultimately creates your experience and perception of reality, and this also generates your imagination of it. These perceptions then become strong enough to become beliefs, and are then integrated into your perception of your life, and your evaluation of yourself, and your level or lack of perceived personal worth.
We are predisposed to feel a certain way about our own value, because of the vibration we bring with us from our previous life. Life is an evolutionary journey, so we must continue where we left off. We are predisposed toward developing a certain perception towards ourselves when we are very young (and we are also placed in an environment that will allow us to continue our journey of awakening, from that level of vibration we entered with, and we can then be given the events, situations and interactions that will help us grow beyond what is holding us back). There are many scenarios in all of our childhoods that may have been similar to the example above, plus others when we were much younger. And they came about often because our parents or carers were dealing with their own issues when they interacted with us in certain potentially damaging ways. At the time, we had no idea about the true nature of these things, or the internal and external struggles they themselves were going through. We believed everything they said when we were young. Why wouldn't we? Once a child’s thinking mind starts to develop, it starts to look to others to learn how to think. You are therefore predisposed to think like those you were around most at that early stage. We had to believe them, partly because we were told by them that we had to believe everything they said, and partly because they were our only examples in this world of how to think and be. 
What inaccurate variables might you have added to your calculations of yourself and your perception of your personal worth that helped you arrive at your assumed level or lack of personal value, and therefore your perception of yourself and how you fit in this world? Events were quite often not as we remembered them anyway (they are purely based on our own perception at the time the memories were created), yet we still use those memories to define ourselves. This I believe is how we end up with a confused and unbalanced super-computer (thinking mind). Subsequently, by functioning through this confused perception, the illusion of our lack of true value is made stronger as more evidence is accumulated to support our beliefs about ourselves and life. Mainly because our thinking mind and imagination is still focused on finding evidence to support the assumption that our assumptions are always true. You find what you look for (you get what you expect because that is what you will be focusing on), so your thinking mind will always find evidence to support the original assumptions or mis-assumptions, until they are truly questioned. Then they will dissipate.
Assumptions, beliefs and expectations are stacked one upon another until we have literally thousands of false references about our perceived level or lack of value by the time we reach adolescence. Our sense of our self and reality can be blown so far out of balance that it becomes almost impossible for some to function properly. We can end up in constant turmoil over ourselves. Now I’m not saying that every experience that is input into your computer is imagined. However, as you’ll understand after reading other parts of the book, you experience life based on the approach you adopt towards yourself and any area of life, and this defines how and what you focus on in any moment. You then use this information to describe things to yourself and others, and using reasoning, decide what these things then mean about or to you. The perceived meanings created by the events, situations and interactions that have been accepted throughout your young life, are part of what creates your approaches, whether they were actually real, or just as you perceived or imagined them to be.
The thinking mind uses previous calculations of your level or lack of perceived worth, and previous perceptions of life, to evaluate and make assumptions as it goes along. Even when you’re not asking it to. Therefore it is continually adding to the miscalculations and mis-perceptions that make up your ideas, assumptions and beliefs about life, others, and most importantly yourself. It’s always interesting to get other people’s versions of what happened at certain times in your life. Inevitably, every single person involved in any event actually has a uniquely distinct version of what happened. This discrepancy shows how people perceive events differently, based on their own perceptions and thinking-mind calculations at the time. These in turn arise from the compiling of incorrect variables that have been accepted as real throughout their lives, prior to these events. Reality is different for everyone. That’s why you can never truly say you understand another person’s reality, or how they think. Reality is based on how each individual perceives the event, situation, interaction or stimulus, not on what may or may not have actually happened.
It is presumptuous imagination to think that you can understand another person, their thoughts, or what is going on inside of them. No one can understand another person, because they have not lived the other’s life. Therefore you can only assume, guess or imagine what another person may be thinking, based on your own experience of what you would be thinking, in their position, at that moment, if you were them. This is of course based on your life experience, and your evaluation and judgement systems, not theirs. It's just your projection onto them. Even if at times you may be correct in your assumption, that does not mean you can know their mind. It just means that at that moment, your assumption happened to coincide with what was possibly going on for them. That is luck, not expertise, no matter what your so-called ego may tell you. And you will never truly know the truth for them. Even if they say you were correct. Consequently, mind reading, or assuming you can, is a very dangerous strategy to use in an interaction with anyone, and most certainly in a relationship!
I used the analogy of the dysfunctional calculator because I want people to understand that there’s nothing inherently wrong with them, as many may have grown up to believe. Thinking so would be like saying that the whole computer is no good, simply because the software programs (beliefs about self and life, expectations, assumptions and approaches etc.) installed on it, are conflicting with each other, causing the system to function inefficiently or badly. Your beliefs about yourself, life and others that have been accepted as valid, are causing the problems. Unfortunately, many people think they are broken or damaged in some way because their thinking mind’s programming causes them to feel discomfort, struggle, suffering or torment. You need to understand that the thinking mind is not the true ‘you’. It is just a small part of this physical body you are in — it is the concept of your individual self, not the real, higher-self experience of ‘you’. Programming bugs can be resolved. The total identification with the thinking process, and its concept of the self, is where the true problem lies. I repeat, there is nothing wrong with you. There never has been! It’s your thinking computer that is not functioning in the way it should be, and you are too associated to your thinking concept of yourself. The higher part of you that is helping you seek out answers (that got you to read this book!) is telling you that there’s more to this process called life than you are experiencing at the moment. Learn to trust the knower within and seek a higher experience of life, in a feeling way.

Dysfunction
Mis-function

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Understanding Consciousness & Memory

Conscious implies being awake and Sub-Conscious mean you need not be aware of it Consciously. Your level of consciousness, how awake you truly are, is based on how Conscious you are of your second by second thoughts, processes, strategies, pattern, behaviours, the choices available to you in any moment, and the ability to Consciously make those choices. If you cannot Consciously choose, your Sub-Conscious is choosing for you. We cannot change our subconscious thoughts, but once they happen and we become aware of them, we can consciously choose if we indulge them or not, and what we focus on next, if we are conscious enough, and have enough awareness of what is going on, and of the choices we can make.
The Sub-Conscious Mind - We could call the sub-conscious mind the automatic mind. It gives us conditioned, reactive, protective, non-conscious, practised thinking and decision making. This is also the Conceptual mind. Understand this: Anything accepted by your subconscious mind is accepted as absolutely true, real and valid. once it has been accepted as such, that can never be changed. You cannot change your subconscious mind. The subconscious mind can however recognise that a strategy, approach or belief that it holds, may no longer be the most valid that it can have. If it discovers or recognises a better strategy, approach or belief etc for any event, situation or interaction, it will choose that one as the most valid. Anything ever accepted by your subconscious mind, will always be available to you to access. You cannot change, you can only help the subconscious mind update its strategies, approaches and beliefs by exposing it to itself (which I will teach you about later). 
The subconscious is aware of many things that you ‘could’ potentially focus on, or be aware of at any time, which do not have your conscious attention in that moment. Look to either side of you and you will see something that ‘could’ have your attention. You knew it existed, but because you had your attention elsewhere, it was not part of your conscious reality a moment ago. In that moment, it actually didn’t exist for you because it didn’t have your conscious attention. Anything that doesn’t have your conscious attention, but could have, if you directed your conscious awareness in that direction, is part of your subconscious thought process. This includes thoughts, memories, beliefs, and so on. Your subconscious thought process can be thinking about many things sequentially, one after the other, in very rapid succession, and this will cause you to act or feel a certain way as a result. 
If you are not consciously directing your thinking to focus on what you ‘want’ to experience, emotionally, your subconscious will be directing your perception of reality. If you are not using your ability to consciously discriminate which thoughts you wish to give your attention to, run with, or focus on, your subconscious thinking will direct you in any way it chooses, or is conditioned to. Normally, this means focusing on anything with the potential to cause you discomfort or suffering. Remember, the thinking mind is mainly a pain-avoidance mechanism, so it is predisposed to look for what could go wrong, or cause pain in any situation. Therefore, if you are not directing your mind in a way that allows you to get a ‘feel-good’ outcome, your sub-conscious mind will be deciding your reality experience for you, and it will be based on what could go wrong, and what you need to avoid. When your conscious mind focuses on something, your subconscious mind must also give it some attention to evaluate it.
The Conscious Mind - When we think about something, it becomes real to us. Whatever has your direct attention, or whatever you are aware of at any time, is what you are conscious of: objects, people, places, memories, fantasies etc. The only thing that is truly real to us at any moment is what we have our attention on, and how we have our attention on it defines how we will experience it. You get the emotional experience of whatever has your conscious or subconscious attention, and very little else. The Conscious mind can process around 2000 bits of information per second, whilst the Sub-Conscious mind can process 2 million times that. Hence why the Sub-Conscious mind is far better at getting and holding your attention.
The Deep Sub-Conscious - This gives the experience of hard-wired, unconscious thought that may appear to be beyond your influence altogether. This is where strong beliefs, strong expectations and long-standing, well conditioned thought programs, about yourself and the external world reside, which you may have carried, supported and fed all your life. They are thoughts you have consciously and subconsciously rehearsed so often that they are no longer heard by you, simply because the mind has decided they no longer need to be. It also holds the patterns and strategies for the things we do that we have no conscious awareness of any longer. The thinking mind has accepted these processes as unquestionably true. They often aren’t true, but they can certainly appear that way.
The Unconscious - This is the part of your mind where the operating system resides, the underlying programming and drives we have as basic human beings. It is important to remember that we are still Cavemen and women, in our base level of programming, but we live in a very different external environment now. There are two parts to the Unconscious mind, the Biological mind which deals with the survival and thriving of the organism, the body, and the primal mind programmed to keep the biological person alive in the physical surroundings.
The Higher Conscious/The Higher Self/The Super Conscious - This is often referred to as the subconscious. Scientists now believe that what they call the unconscious mind, and which I call the Higher Self or Super Conscious mind, is powerful enough to override your thinking mind, once you have awakened. This always-conscious mind, to me, is the part of the right brain that has access to higher levels of consciousness from a source of connection higher than thought can achieve. This awareness can start out as access to the right brain’s higher reasoning voice, and progress ultimately to stepping away from both sides of the brain, to become the witness of the whole physical mind and the experience of the physical world. I can describe it by saying there is the thinker, the observer, and the witness (which is viewing from outside of the physical mind). Many people believe they can do this, but that is their thinking mind creating the illusion of it using imagination to keep control of them. Very few people can even truly experience the present moment. Most people will only experience self-awareness, also called self-actualisation, by becoming partly aware of their left-brain dialogue. Even if they become very aware of their left brain dialogue, this is still just self-awareness, not true awakening or enlightenment. This is only the first part of the journey of attunement and ascension to higher consciousness. You can become self-aware but not know how to consciously adjust your perception of reality, or see your thinking mind for just what it is. When you realise that your perception of your external world is just yours, and is not real, it becomes trivial in comparison to how you used to perceive it. Not by dismissing it, but because you are seeing it for what it really is.
This higher level of awareness is something we can all have access to, once we let go of the illusion of reality being anything other than our own perception, and let go of the concept of self (ego) created by the thinking mind. As long as the thinking mind is not filtering, changing, or blocking the information that comes from this higher source using imagination, there is nothing other than our level of awareness and level of consciousnes stopping us from connecting with it. Even if we can’t access it consciously, it can still guide us indirectly, but cannot interfere with our conscious choices. Remember, if you are not consciously choosing your next thoughts (as I will teach you later), you are having them chosen for you by your subconscious thinking mind, and your higher self is often unable to help you. You are either consciously directing your thoughts, or your subconscious thinking is directing you. It has to be one or the other. You must direct your thoughts in a way that allows you to feel good, or direct your thoughts to think of things (events, people, places, interests) that allow you feel good. If you do not, you will experience the emotional responses that come from your undirected, subconscious, pain-avoidance thinking. Your mind is always thinking, so direct it, or it will control your experience of your reality. You will get the emotional experience of that perceived reality, and usually suffer discomfort at the very least.

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The Collective Consciousness

I believe the collective consciousness of all mankind directly affects all of us constantly and dictates the average level of awareness of mankind as a whole. I believe each person indirectly affects the collective consciousness of several thousand people at any time. By indirectly I mean they don’t consciously do it by choice, but their attitudes and the moment by moment emotions they generate. As one person raises their level of awareness through living in the moment and when using thought, a commitment to more supportive quality thought, reasoning, choice-making, and a willingness to treat themselves and others with more care and compassion, they make it possible for several thousand other people to do the same. It is important that you take responsibility for yourself, and recognise that if you do not choose better for yourself, you’re also affecting others. That said, every little change you make to improve the quality of how you feel, also helps to improve the quality of the life that many other people could experience. 
A friend of mine asked me the other day if it bothered me to see people shot or burned on some of these documentary television programs. I explained to him that if I was watching one like this, which is very unlikely now, me feeling bad for them will not help them, and will only cause me to feel bad as well. I do not mean this from a selfish perspective so please hear what I am saying. If I can help someone, I will, but if I can’t, suffering along with them will not help them, nor me. I cannot see the point in that anymore. I know that how I feel affects the collective consciousness in some way. I believe I need to feel good in order to put good energy into the collective consciousness. It is not that I don’t care — I do — but I can feel compassion for others without suffering with them. (True Compassion comes from becoming the other, in that you know what the experience would feel like to you, but without indulging in suffering, and with no judgement, just caring for the other.)
I choose not to read newspapers or listen to the radio, or watch the news, because there are times when doing so influences my ability to feel good. This is unacceptable to me, because how I feel affects the quality of my life and indirectly, the lives of others. I care so much, that this matters to me, and I take responsibility for my part in the effect my level of consciousness can have on others. I wrote this book mainly to help raise the collective consciousness so that everyone can benefit in some form or another, even if they don’t read it. Of course, I will probably never know how it affects them, but that doesn’t matter. I did not write this book to get something in return. It is time we all took responsibility for our part in improving this world, for all of us. You have some internal free-will (freedom of choice, if you are conscious enough to make conscious choices). Exercise it and raise your quality of life through how you consciously choose to perceive in the moment, and therefore how you feel.

To me, although the whole mind is ancient in that is is of a very old design in DNA, the ancient mind is really collective consciousness.

As the quality of thoughts starts to rise, the quality of collective consciousness will start to rise. As the quality of collective consciousness rises, so will the thoughts that come into us through our agnea chakra. So this will be spiral up of the quality of thoughts and therefore behavior.

I also believe that DNA is able to interact with other DNA, and the transfer of information and experiential knowledge between a like species is quite normal. This could be part of collective consciousness. It also fits in with the concept earlier that your thoughts are not all your own thoughts. A great example can be seen in animals (we are animals also). It has been recognised for generations in communities that work with livestock that if you put a large number of cattle into an enclosure or corral with an electric fence, and these cattle have never experienced an electric fence before, it takes only two or three animals to touch the electric fence in one part of the enclosure for all the animals in the enclosure, to avoid the electric fence.
Now, I don’t think that in cow language they have the words to be able to say, “Don’t touch the fence. It’s electrified and you’ll get zapped.” Therefore, we have to assume that the information is transferred in a different way. Could it be they are communicating through their DNA?  People might say, “Well, they sense the fear of the other animals.” The first thing I would say to that is HOW do they sense the fear? For this signal to be transmitted or received, there needs to be an operating system level transmitter receiver, DNA. Also how would the cattle on the other side of the corral know that the fear is about the electric fence?
The cattle in the enclosure might be completely calm, but still know not to touch the fence. In fact, they show visible signs of avoiding it within minutes of the first cows touching it. The explanation seems to be that a cow the others can’t even see encountered the fence and somehow passed on the experience and the knowledge to nearby animals (with the same species structure, or physical vibrational frequency, as itself). I actually think that at least some form of telepathy comes into play during this communication. 
I believe that what is called the ‘Akashic Library’ or ‘The Hall Of Records’, has a connection to, or is even inside, our DNA. People who are mediums often tune into this Library in small and brief ways that allow them to access information about events in time, or about people who are living or may have passed on. I say often because in my opinion the thinking mind is usually responsible for most of the information they use during a so-called reading. This knowing is possible because all of the information of any and every event, situation, interaction, thought, deed, entity or being is held in the Akashic Library. 

There is only one human collective consciousness, and all physical minds are structured in basically the same way. However each mind (Physical/psychological person) is different because of how perception is experienced for that physical entity, based on what it brings vibrationally from the previous life experience, the conception and birth process, the experience of birth, karma, collective consciousness, the consciousness in close proximity to it, and the physical and psychological environment is in when the thinking process develops. This creates what could be called the individual. Although actuality is the same for everyone, reality is experienced based on the structure and conditioning of perception. Even psychological concepts like fear, jealousy, guilt etc. will be experienced psychologically differently by each so-called individual.

By being negative you are lowering your vibration and coming into vibrational harmony with lower-level thoughts that are floating around in collective consciousness, and therefore you will hear them and experience them as your own. This will feed a downward spiral of your vibration. Negativity is internal sewage.

As each species evolves, the information gained from the evolution is fed into the consciousness of DNA.

xcvvxb

Understanding Memory

Memory was originally designed to give the thinking mind choices, based on experience, when it is faced with a situation or event where it needs to evaluate based on experience. You do not need to indulge in memory for it to be able to do that. Everything your subconscious mind needs to remember from an event situation or interaction has already been remembered. You indulging in memory in a way that causes you any form of discomfort or suffering, is unnatural. When you indulge in memory, unless you are very very conscious, you will indulge in imagination over that memory. This will generate emotions that will cause you to suffer if the memories are perceived in any negative way. The mind created emotions to give meaning to events so we could work out what to remember and keep in memory to evaluate future events with. We actually have a very limited physical memory which is pretty much based on perception alone.

If you continually define yourself by your past, your past defines your present and your future. 
If you define yourself anew everyday, your future becomes whatever you want it to be.	

They say a fish only has a three-second memory. That is a gift many people see as a handicap. How many of your memories would you like to have forgotten after three seconds? You would be able to live happily virtually all of the time (unless of course you are judging yourself and then criticising yourself for not having a good memory), You would have so few memories to choose from and re-experience through imagination that you would have to live in the moment. 
We have two kinds of memory in my opinion: Thinking Memory and Higher Memory.
Thinking Memory – This is simply what you perceived to have happened at any time in your life based on the personality you are in at that moment, which dictates your expectations, approach, focus, how you describe it to yourself (the story you told yourself about what you were perceiving), the quality and direction of your reasoning, and the meaning you gave to the outcome of that process (what it meant to, or about you). These perceptual memories are held in your thinking mind. Each memory is updated anytime you access that memory. It is updated slightly, or more so, depending on your perception and reasoning process at the time of remembering that perceived experience. We actually change our perception of our past every time we go back and remember it, no matter how small that change may be. This is because we are changing every moment, as is everything in this world. In fact, you are only ever remembering the last time you remembered an event, situation or interaction; you are not actually remembering it as it was, or as you first perceived it. If you imagine something intensely enough, it can become what you perceive to be a real memory. If you revisit it and re-imagine it, it will definitely be perceived as a true memory and each time you visit it, it will be updated. Those of you that use your past as an excuse all the time may find what I have just said uncomfortable, and that’s a good thing, because disruption creates change.
Your true expectations about yourself and your life will cause your perception of a situation to vary from what actually happened to what you perceived to have happened. Thinking memory is strongly affected by the emotions experienced at the time of the event, situation or interaction. The thinking mind is very susceptible to exaggeration. It will therefore adjust the internal and external dialogue to make experiences sound more important, or worse, and therefore appear more significant than they actually were. Each memory is basically a file on your computer. If you open a memory file, and you're telling a story about it, and you adjust the information for effect, to make it sound better, worse, or more intense, that is how you will remember it. Because when that memory file is closed, your memory of it has been modified. When you’re telling these stories to yourself and others in this way, your thinking mind hears this dialogue and will update your memory of the event in accordance with these exaggerations. 
Victims are especially prone to exaggerating negative events, both to others and to themselves. Their victim-hood is what gives them their feeling of significance. People almost never remember something as it actually happened. They either add or subtract from it based on their beliefs, expectations, approach, focus, description, reasoning and therefore the meaning they create about themselves by their process of perception at the time. Thinking memory (normal memory) is quite unreliable. Ask any policeman or investigator about the difficulties experienced whenever they have to rely on someone’s memory (perception) of what happened at any time. The unreliability of memory can make their job almost impossible at times. I am not talking about consciously lying here; I mean the actual memories that people perceive themselves to have had at the time. 
You also need to know about Short-Term thinking memory, and Long-Term thinking memory. 
Short term memory basically holds seven bits of data, and when a new one enters the oldest piece of data is either moved to long term memory if it has been rehearsed, or has a strong emotion attachment to it, or it is simply discarded. This is one reason that things like number plates and many other forms of identification have only seven characters, so they can be remembered more easily.
When you know how memories are created and how they work, you can use them to your advantage rather than letting your subconscious thinking mind use them to your disadvantage. In order for something to be converted from short-term memory to long-term memory, it needs to be rehearsed by the mind or have strong emotion associated with it. If something is rehearsed it is considered important enough to remember. If you rehearse something enough, especially if you add imagination to give a visual representation if it, it will become a memory, or at least be experienced as a real memory. The most important memories are the strongest emotionally, and the latest. 
If something happens that you do not want to remember, or if something elicits uncomfortable feelings within you, you can direct your conscious thinking and shift your approach and focus immediately away from it, by focusing your conscious attention onto something else. Alternatively, you can change how you are perceiving the event, situation or interaction you are focusing on, with the tools you will learn in this book. That way, you can stop it going into long-term memory, and becoming a future cause of discomfort for you. If your mind cannot rehearse it or attach strong emotion to it, it will not be taken into your long-term memory, because the thinking mind will not see it as something worth holding onto.
Often memories are cleaned out during the training process, as this is partly a process after clearing things from the mind to save space and resources, as the mind does not have the ability to store every memory from our life. It also does not know how long we will live, and how many things it will need to store over the course of our life, so it actually discards as much as it possibly can. Often you still have memories other events in your life simply because you keep revisiting them. The less you indulge in memory, the less memory you will need to consciously hold onto.
Higher Memory - Any and every thought, intent, event, situation and interaction has been recorded by creation. True memories about your life can be accessed by practising certain methods of focus using your right-hemisphere connection to the source of all our records, which is known as the Akashic Library, or The Hall Of Records. I won’t go into that in this particular book. Suffice it to say that visualisation meditation about an event, combined with an openness to look for details that you did not perceive at the time, may allow you some insights. However, this process can be hijacked by the thinking mind employing imagination without you even knowing it. Unless you have a high enough awareness, you will not truly know the difference. 
Be warned. If you do try a technique like this, only ever do it to find new, uplifting information about an event, situation or interaction, and never with any other focus. Karma is watching.
You do not have issues with your past, you actually have issues with your past perception of yourself. You can blame someone else or something else in your past, however it is still your perception of yourself around those events that you have issues with. When you can truly see this, it will free you from those events, and help you recognise that changing your perception now will change your perception of those events. Change how you perceive yourself in any moment, and how you perceive the past changes, it also changes how you approach your future. Therefore life changes for you.

cvx

The Memory Overview

The mind paraphrases memories to create an overview of any situation event or interaction to save resources. It is these overviews that we remember and rarely the intricacies of the event. The overview is also dictated by the strongest emotions experienced during that experience. So if you have a situation where over an hour almost all of the time was spent being calm, and a very short time was spent being annoyed or upset, or judging yourself or someone else, that will be the flavour of the overview. Because that would have been the strongest emotions experienced at the time. So the feeling of that whole situation will be tainted by the few moments of negative emotion.

Talk about the minds overview process to save resources and this is what emotions help with.

Emotions have been designed to help give meaning to events and situations.  This allows the mind to work out what’s important, what it needs to focus on, and what it needs to remember.  The mind creates an over-view process for this reason, so that it can also save resources and at the same time remember the things that were apparently relevant based on the emotions we experienced during that event. 

The mind needs to save resources because it simply does not have enough space where memory is concerned to store every single moment of our lives.  It can only save what it considers to be relevant and important. 

That’s one of the reasons we have a short-term memory and a long-term memory so that anything that appears to be unimportant that has our awareness at any time goes into our short-term memory until there is some level of emotion experienced around that information and then it is passed to long-term memory because it is considered important. 

If your visualizations are strong enough and frequent enough about something that didn't actually happen, it will start to be perceived as a real memory. The more you indulge it the more real it will become. Use this to your advantage and if you must use your imagination, al least imagine things going in your favour or creating happy outcomes.

So the journey of an hour may be virtually forgotten simply because there was nothing emotionally relevant in that time for the memory or the mind to want to hold onto that as part of memory.  However, if somebody were to cut in front of you in traffic and an argument or disagreement ensued you would probably remember that because it was emotionally charged, however, the rest of the journey will probably be a blank after a couple of weeks because it was emotionally irrelevant. 

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The Minds Adaptation or Reset Mechanism
The mind also has an ability to adapt very quickly to changes, both using personalities, and through a process that makes what is happening in your most recent past normal to you. The operating system has a perception-adaptation mechanism that allows the situations you are in for more than a short time to become normal to you quite quickly. For me, this adaptation mechanism proves that we are meant to feel good. Never feeling a sense of normality would cause us to experience more primal fear and therefore feel bad or suffer more, so why have an adaptation mechanism that allows us the opportunity to feel good if we are meant to feel bad? 

This adaptation mechanism also resets your memory of pain. Can you actually remember how painful something was physically, in the past? You may have a perceived memory of what you thought about being in that kind of pain, but you don’t really remember the pain. Mothers, for certain, will know what I mean when I talk about this adaptation or reset mechanism for pain. Otherwise, almost all would never have more than one child. This adaptation mechanism actually makes it hard to remember the past accurately. I believe this is the way it is meant to be, because we were not meant to live in, or through, the past at all. We are meant to be able to experience the moment as if it is brand-new. 

Because of the thinking mind overriding need for certainty, our experience of the world has to become normal to us no matter where we are or what we’re doing, in order for us to feel safe and secure, or for the mind to have enough certainty to relax. I have heard the metaphor many times about dropping a frog into boiling water, and the frog immediately leaping out. However, if you put the frog in cool water and then slowly turn the heat up, the frog will slowly boil to death. The changes are happening so slowly that the mind keeps adapting to experience the current situation as now being normal. The difference from cold to boiling is not noticed in the same way as it would be if it happened fast and created a marked and immediately noticeable contrast. 
This metaphor applies to human situations as well. What happens if you have a comfortable life in one community and you lose it or have to move, say through a natural disaster like a storm or an earthquake, or through something happening in your personal life, like a partner leaving? How do you adapt to that? I’m talking here about the actual environmental and situations (not any memories you keep alive) that need to become normal for you to be able to settle down to life again, without feeling strange or somehow incomplete or out of place. How can anything you experience for long enough become normal to you? Periodically, the mind will adapt or reset: what you have in your environment and experience of reality at that time will become normal to you. As long as no suffering is being generated by you indulging in memory that causes you to hold onto things or people in the past, the new situation or environment will be accepted as normal. The mind has adjusted its perception to allow this new situation or environment to become the norm. I believe we have multiple time-frame adaptation mechanisms, but they are all due to really one basic reset process in the mind. 
The time-frame involved in transitioning to a new sense of normality can vary, but we have an adaptation mechanism that happens each day, during sleep. Dreaming is in part a process that clears out parts of memory so they are no longer used to evaluate the present. This is one reason that stepping away from a situation even for a couple of weeks can cause you to feel quite differently about it on your return. Even if you honestly felt before returning that nothing would be different. It may not be different but you now perceive it to be different because it is now no longer your norm in that moment and you are perceiving differently now. Your mind has reset or adapted to another normality a day at a time without really feeling like it was changing at all. Plus, the memory you hold onto about what the original situation felt like has nothing to compare against until it is faced with the situation again. Then it can compare what was normal to you then, with what is normal to you now. Then you get to see that your perception has changed in some way and your norm has now changed.
The process is more obvious when it involves people, particularly when you are away from them for some time. Consider a separation where you were not the one wishing to end the relationship. You hold onto what you believe the other person feels like to you and the reasons you want to be with them. However, after being apart for a few weeks or longer, you see them again and realise that you feel differently than you thought you would. Of course, that will only be the case as long as you have been letting go, even a little, and not reliving the relationship over and over every minute of ever day, and even then it will still feel different to you in some way. That kind of daily resurrection and reliving of memories will maintain the original situation and feelings as the normal situation for you because imagination gives the mind the illusion of them being real. Therefore, make sure you are letting go of each day as it ends and see each new day as a new beginning. Each changing situation or environment has to become normal to us at some point or we would never be able to experience happiness or fulfillment as a species. We need to be able to live wherever we are, in many conditions and environments, and still have the opportunity to feel fulfilled. This adaptive process also helps to generate certainty, which is a need of the thinking mind. How could there be any sense of certainty if there was not the possibility of any condition, environment or situation becoming normal?
This is a very good mechanism to be aware of if you want to experience any change in your behaviour or environment, and think that perhaps it won’t be possible to experience change or adapt. As an example, very few people start out feeling great about training or running. However, when they continue for a while, there comes a point where they are no longer saying, “I’m a person who goes running”; instead, they start to say, “I am a runner” or “I am an athlete.” The ‘I am’ statement is describing something they now perceive to be part of their perceived identity. In other words, they have been doing it long enough to change how they define themselves in this area and it has now become normal to them. If you do anything for at least 30 days, it will become normal to you. If you do it for at least 6 months, you will probably do it for a long time to come, and if you do it consistently for a full year, you will more than likely do it for the rest of your life — unless you start choosing to do something else consistently and override this norm. 
Know that any changes you want to make can become normal very quickly. Your present situation became normal to you through small or large changes that kept becoming normal. First, decide what changes you would like to make in your life and your perception. Then start instigating the small changes required to affect your behaviour in an uplifting and inspiring way in these areas. Before you know it, the new changes you want will be a normal part of your life and your perception. The same process can also be applied to your perception of yourself. Regular small changes in how you perceive yourself will consistently become normal, until eventually you will not recognise the way you used to define yourself. Please bear in mind that self-acceptance is the most important ingredient for internal peace. Work on self-acceptance becoming normal rather than an enforced process because that wont work. 
We have a second-by-second adaptation mechanism associated to the right hemisphere of our brain. Or at least it feels like that, because the right brain does not use memory to measure and evaluate with, so it lives in the moment and therefore has nothing to compare this moment to. If we truly lived in the present moment, then we would not need to keep any of the previous moments for our evaluation of ourselves and life. We could live every moment as a new experience of ourselves and our reality experience. That is true enlightenment, where true joy and bliss can be experienced regularly. 

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3 -  The Basis Of Our Perception

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Your Perceived Experience of Reality

Nothing happens in your perceptual outcome without your thinking mind or your conscious mind making a choice. No matter what way you perceive anything, it is based on the choice you are making either consciously or subconsciously (conditioning). Your whole perception process is reliant on each micro process within perception, giving information to each part and therefore the whole. This happens at the speed of light and is a very dynamic process, updating and changing micro-second by micro-second. Perception is a process, a journey and a destination. Everything you experience is a symptom of how you perceive. Would you rather feel good or bad?
The diagram below shows how your thinking mind arrives at your perception of self, or what I call your ‘Core Identity’, which dictates how you perceive 'Everything'. Your core identity is how you perceive yourself to be. This creates your perceived potential in any event, situation or interaction. It is also defines your self-belief, self-esteem, your comfort zone and therefore your Discomfort and fear zone, as well as what you believe you deserve or don't deserve, what you can and can't have or get etc. It could also be called your personal identity or your true self-image. Our perception is really an evaluation of our reality using the programming we have inherited and developed over the course of our lives. I will go into much more detail about each part of perception after giving you a basic overview of the process at work. I am also talking here about your internal process, not what actually comes from the external world, (any stimulus external to your thinking). 
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Fig 9.  Core-Identity, Self-Image, Perceived Potential, Self-Belief & Comfort Zone

Your expectations are created by your perceived level or lack of self-worth, and your beliefs, which are created, influenced, and supported by your perceived level or lack of self-worth. And your expectations, influence and support your perceived level or lack of self-worth, and your beliefs. This cycle dictates how we experience ourselves, and our reality. Any change we make towards feeling better in any part of this process cycle will have a beneficial effect on everything else. The same goes for the opposite. Any change we make towards feeling worse in any part of the cycle will have a disempowering effect on every other part of the cycle. This can cause you to spiral up and feel better, or spiral down and feel worse. Choose carefully the direction of change to make sure it is an uplifting change that will bring more happiness and self-acceptance. After all, accepting disempowering information as real is part of how we got to be in pain in the first place. The external world in general encourages us to spiral down, and has probably been doing so for most of our lives.
Your level of self-esteem and perceived level or lack of self-worth dictates almost everything you do. Your real potential is actually far greater than you may perceive right now, no matter how you believe yourself to be, or what you think you do or don’t deserve. If you feel that your potential is greater than you are currently demonstrating (which I guarantee it is), or you would like it to be greater, use the understanding of the cycles in this section, and in the whole book, to question your current level or lack of self-worth, expectations and beliefs. Direct your questions, descriptions of the stimulus and yourself to direct your reasoning to show you why your beliefs and expectations are incorrect or too low. I will show you how to do this more effectively as we go along. Update your beliefs and expectations with more empowering perceptions of yourself and your possibilities. Your true character is pretty much based on a combination of your perceived level or lack of self-worth, your true beliefs and your true expectations. This dictates your approach to yourself, life, and to others, which will be perceived as your character.. 
All thinking perception is filtered through your Core Identity which ultimately defines your experience of your reality. It dictates the hierarch of evolutionary needs you try to meet, it also define whether you use a constructed identity like Public Identity or Victim Identity to function through in any moment. What vehicle you choose, and what personality is then subconsciously or consciously chosen to deal with the event, situation or interaction you believe you are faced with. Your personality in any moment dictates your approach and what you focus on, and how you focus on it, which in turn elicits internal questions and statements, which also creates how you describe the stimulus to yourself, (the story your telling yourself about what you believe you are perceiving). This process elicits the direction and quality of your reasoning, the why, and also what it mean to you, or about you. This creates your emotional response; your version of reality in any moment. 

Something only has to have the potential to be real for you to be able to suffer over it.	

Do you focus on events, situations, and interactions as challenging opportunities to learn, or do you see them as problems? Is the glass half full or half empty to you? Or just a glass with something in it? What you perceive as problems are sent by creation to help you refine your choices. Your focus dictates the type of internal questions you ask yourself about events, situations and interactions. Why is it half full? Why is it half empty? Those questions — which are based on your expectations, beliefs and chosen approach and focus — direct your reasoning to give you a ‘reason’ a 'why'. Like an Internet search engine, your reasoning comes up with a logical response to every query. You enter a question and it goes away to find a logical answer based on the exact pessimistic, optimistic or neutral criteria that you gave it to search with. If you ask it what colour a tomato is, it will go and do its best to answer your question based on the question you asked, not the question it ‘thinks’ you’re asking. It is a logic-based computer, so it can only search based on the parameters you have given it to search with.  In other words, the questions you ask determine what emotions you will experience as a response. Whether what you ask about is true in actuality or not makes no difference to the thinking mind. As long as the result logically fits with your beliefs or expectations, or can be imagined, it is accepted by, and believable to, your thinking mind.
Each part of this perception cycle helps to create, influence, and support the part of the cycle that came before it. The emotional outcome created, helps to support your perception of your self-worth. It feeds your beliefs, which supports and helps in creating your expectations, the evolutionary needs you will consistently try to meet, and the approach you choose and your focus within that approach. That focus creates questions and statements, this helps to create how you describe the stimulus to yourself,  which directs your reasoning to come up with  the why. This creates a meaning to, or about you, in relation to the stimulus, which ultimately supports your perception of your level or lack of perceived self-worth, beliefs and expectations, in that area of life. All this happens simply because your mind is directing your reasoning in a way that causes it to find supporting evidence for what you are expecting to find in the first place — usually without you even realising it. Therefore, you feel how you ‘truly expect’ to feel, not how you want to feel, or think you expect to feel. Below is a diagram that shows how you get your emotional outcome from a stimulus, and how you create your perception of your reality in each moment.
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          Fig 10.  Emotion Creation Cycle

The stimulus can be either a thought, imagination, or an external stimulus entering your internal perceptual process. The way you describe it to yourself, and the meaning this creates to, over or about yourself, creates your emotional response to this stimulus. Your description, (the story you are telling yourself), and the emotional response, then feeds and supports your original perception process. This loop of description fuelling emotion fuelling description can escalate out of all proportion if you indulge it in. Watch people who indulge in victim-hood or personal dramas. They can take any bit of information and turn it into an emotionally charged drama, which can then continue completely devoid of any new stimulus. The outcome also affects and supports each part of the cycle in some way. By consciously choosing how you perceive information, or questioning optimistically during any part of the cycle, you can affect any part of this cycle. Also and any part of the information being used or created can be consciously replaced, which will change the emotional outcome in some small or significant way.  You are already doing this, perhaps to your emotional detriment, and probably just have no real conscious awareness of how to choose the quality of the information you use in your perception of any stimulus, to experience higher quality emotions, and a better quality reality experience. Put more simply, you can change the conclusion that you arrive at simply by changing how you describe something to yourself, even slightly.

Change can only come about by awakening to new choices, and then of course, consciously choosing to make them.	

Fig 11 below shows how the internal cycle affects your actions and how they in turn affect your internal cycle of perception. Your emotions are the outcome of your internal cycle of perception, and they dictate your actions. Your actions dictate your results and your results influence or support your core-identity, which defines your potential in any area. You need to be aware that if something is perceived by you as a limit for you, then it is a limit or obstacle for you, unless you change your perception of your potential in that area. Your underlying perception of your potential (your core identity) is what your thinking mind will work toward supporting, so those perceived limits become self-fulfilling prophecies for you. In fact, the strongest drive we have, subconsciously, is the drive to remain consistent with our true perception of ourselves, our core identity. It is not how we want to be or how we think we should be. 
Let’s take the internal process that runs for any stimulus, and see how it affects our external actions. Your perceived level or lack of Self-Worth + Beliefs + Expectations (Core Identity) --> dictates the overall Needs of the mind you will try to meet, (certainty, significance etc) --> this creates your Approach --> Focus --> Questions, Statements & Stories --> Your Description of the stimulus --> the quality of your Reasoning --> Meaning to, or about you --> Emotional Response --> Actions --> Results ---> this Creates/Supports/Influences (Core Identity), Perceived Potential, Self-Belief, Self-Esteem, Comfort Zone and therefore your Discomfort Zone, what you perceive you Do or Don't Deserve, and so on. The bottom line: your true perception of yourself keeps you where you are in your level of awareness. And will do so until you consciously decide how you want to influence each part of this cycle of perception, in an uplifting, kind and supportive way, in each moment, to raise the quality of your life experience.

Fig 11.  Emotional Effects Cycle
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Your thoughts always create actions or inactions. They cause you to do something or to not do something. Therefore, thoughts always have results, either in your emotional world, in your external physical world, or in both. The results you get are a good indication (evidence) of the types of thoughts you have, the quality of your core identity, and the quality of your perception cycle. So look carefully at the things you perceive to be happening in your life, and what you truly expect, and see how your thinking, and the way you describe things to yourself, your approach and what you focus on, is attracting or causing them for you. What you get to experience regularly is the evidence that points to how you perceive yourself, how you think and approach any event, situation or interaction on a regular basis. You also define yourself by your consistent actions and behaviours, which are also a result of your core identity. Although you may not realise it right now, how you feel or behave in any moment is a choice you make, not actually the result of the outside stimulus. If you blame the outside (external world) stimuli, as we have been taught to do, you lose all opportunity to move beyond its influence, and decide the quality of your emotional experiences.
Now let’s go into detail about each part of the cycle, so you can understand how they interact and fit together. This will help you to grasp how you can influence the outcome of each part of your perception. Just think of it like baking a cake. The ingredients you use to create the cake are going to be present in the flavor of the outcome you must digest. Choose your ingredients carefully — your perception of your value or lack thereof, your beliefs, your expectations, your approach, your focus, your questions and statements, your description (the story you are telling yourself about what you are perceiving), your quality of reasoning, and the meaning you come up with of how it relates to you, or what it means about you. These will dictate and create the flavor of the reality that you have to swallow. Consciously question your old beliefs and expectations etc, and consciously choose how you construct your perception and choose to think consciously, or your old subconscious conditioned thought process will choose for you. Decide how you want to feel, and do what is necessary to allow or cause you to feel that way. It is far simpler than you may have previously imagined. Once you have read the rest of the book, come back and read this section again. It will be far clearer to you.
Also, it is always good to have an emotional outcome in mind at all times. How do you ‘want’ to feel consistently? Decide how you want to feel, and do not just wait to see what life delivers before deciding how to feel. Adjust your perception by finding more uplifting and supportive ways of describing things to yourself, and also more supportive ways of describing yourself to yourself. Do this based on how you want to feel, not what you want to avoid. Your commitment to anything will always improve the chances of it coming into your experience of reality. Discipline in your pursuit to feel the way you want to feel will vastly improve your odds, but it must be through kind and supportive dialogue with yourself, not any form of self-abuse. Achievement comes through commitment and a willingness to choose, not through self-abuse or self-sacrifice. So make a commitment today to consciously make internal and external choices that will improve the quality of your emotional experience of reality. Be committed, disciplined and conscious in your  pursuit of those good feelings. You deserve them!

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The Psychological Concept Of Self - Our Core Identity
Core conceptual identity. 

Awakening is a self-less state (the psychological self has dissolved). It helps in awakening if you first know that you have a psychological 'Self'', and how it describes and defines itself, and you.

 add karma to what creates the initial feeling that brings about the beginning of the concept of self.

The mind can only relate in concepts, and concepts are just a made up way to describe experiences. The concepts cannot be the experiences, so all conceptual thinking is an illusion, including the concept of the self.

The thinking mind functions through concepts, therefore it must define a concept of the self before it can truly measure anything externally to itself.

It helps in awakening if you first know that you have a psychological 'Self'', and how it describes and defines itself, and you. 

You do what you do because of how you consistently describe your self to your self. You experience everything based on your concept of your self. Everything we experience in life we do so because we have some form of association to it, with it, or a relationship with it, to it, or around it. As a physical human, everything in life associated to any kind of thought is experienced in relation to our self concept, what it means to, or about you. Remaining consistent with your core identity, your true thinking concept of self, is the strongest thinking drive you have. Whether you like that core identity or not, or whether you even know that this is what defines how you perceive yourself and life, you'll still subconsciously do your best, at all times, to remain consistent with how you truly describe yourself, to yourself, at a subconscious level. 
Your core identity defines your self esteem, your self-belief, your self-respect, your level of self-acceptance, your perceived potential, your comfort and fear zone, what you perceive you do and don't deserve, and what you perceive you can and can't have, or get. No matter how hard you try to perceive yourself differently through public identity, which I will talk about later, you will always end up remaining consistent with how you actually perceive yourself. Simply because the decision you made about your perception of value at a very young age, defines everything you do, and every choice you make. You will always remain consistent with your core identity, because that is what your thinking mind uses to evaluate or define the concept of self, and how it evaluates life as it relates to you, or how you relate to it. Your thinking mind has caused you to forget what you are, and has fooled you into believing you are only your thinking concept of yourself, which is based on mis-assumptions and imagined false perceptions of your value or lack thereof.
What do you experience the most, self-love or self-loathing? Your thinking mind will try to remain consistent with its concept of self, no matter whether that concept (core identity) is an uplifting, inspiring self-concept, or a disempowering, destructive self-concept. This perception of yourself will cause you to act in a way that supports your beliefs and expectations about yourself. It dictates how you approach and interact in any moment. If you perceive that you are a failure, your thinking mind will cause you to do things that make sure you fail, long-term. If you perceive that you are a bad person, your thinking mind will cause you to behave in a way that will confirm this to you. 
If you believe that you can succeed at anything you put your mind to, you are right. If you believe you will fail, you are right. Only because your thinking mind will do whatever it can to stay consistent with what you truly believe about yourself, or expect from yourself, in this and any area of your life. Our true expectations of ourselves and our behaviours are what we ultimately experience. Some people think that they expect to be wealthy or successful even though they are actually struggling financially, or in other areas of their life. This does not fit with how they consciously ‘think’ they should be, but it does fit wit how they subconsciously define themselves. I will talk about public identity later to explain how this can happen. Their core identity may believe they don’t really deserve to succeed or be financially wealthy, so it subconsciously manipulates their behaviours, actions and choices to make sure of it. 
Examples include being late for important meetings, when they don’t really need to be. Not doing things that are required to be financially affluent or emotionally successful, and then finding appropriate excuses that are totally justifiable, to explain this behaviour away. Often blaming some 'thing' or someone else. The thinking mind is basically creating self-fulfilling prophecies based on your core identity and perceived potential. A self-fulfilling prophecy is a process that is used by your thinking mind to keep you in line with what you truly expect to get. It aims to keep you consistent with your perception of yourself so it can have certainty. A self-fulfilling prophecy is just the mind saying, “this is what I expect to happen, so I will make sure it does, so I can feel certain, and therefore safe.”
I cannot stress how important it is for you to cultivate higher levels of true self-esteem. When you have low self-esteem, you will subconsciously, and sometimes consciously, do things to make sure you continue to end up with low self-esteem, simply because you actually expect to be that way. We always get what we ‘truly’ expect to get or experience. Not what we think we want or should have.

The physical body is the physical person (which is physically real), the psychological person is just a concept of what the self is, which is a thinking construct of what your mind decided you were by the time you are 6 1/2 years old. Whilst you fully believe that you are that self, you are fully entangled in being and protecting that self. You also believe you are that psychological person. There is no real psychological self, only the fake one created by the mind and imagination when it needed to work out what it was/is, before it could compare everything else, to be able to make choices about everything else and feel safe.

Your Concept of 'Self' is a figment of your own imagination. 

Perceived Personal Worth Ultimately Defines How You Perceive

Internal integrity is the ability to be honest with yourself, and see yourself as you truly are — not worse than you are or better, just as you truly perceive yourself to be. When you can do that, you have the opportunity to start accepting yourself, because you can truly see your concept of self. Denial of your true concept of self, because it does not fit with how you want to perceive yourself (internal public identity image), or how you want to be perceived by others (external public identity), just causes you internal conflict. Your suffering is over your conflict, not your concept of self. There is no true or long-term escape from your self-suffering other than consciously directing your thinking and reasoning, to raise the outcome of your perception cycle, to a level that will allow you to experience true self-acceptance. Self-acceptance is the only true and real solution, not change.
Recognising and accepting how you truly perceive yourself, is the secret to moving forward, and experiencing yourself in a higher way. Pretending to be a certain way, and hoping that will become the way you will be, is not going to make it happen. To get anywhere on a map, you must first know where you truly are, or you will continue to be lost. Even if you know where you want to go. If you think or tell yourself you are even one street over on a map, you are already lost, and you will stumble around using hope as a strategy to get where you want to go, which, by the way, is not a strategy, or just end up giving up. 
As the mind starts to develop, it starts to subconsciously recognise that something is not quite right, and as it assumes everyone else must be ok, simply because it doesn't have the knowledge to see that others are struggling with their own demons, it assumes there must be something wrong with itself. As that is all that is logically left to assume. That becomes an assumption that the developing mind uses, as it starts to work out where it fits in this world, and how the world relates to it, to you. The thinking mind then needs to check if this assumption is true, and  starts to look for evidence to support its assumptions. The thinking mind only looks for evidence to support an idea or assumption, it does not look to disprove it. It only looks for evidence that what it is assuming is real. To disprove something would often require a lack of evidence, and the mind needs evidence to make a decision, so it is logical that it looks to confirm rather than disprove.

Your perception of reality is just the mere reflection of your perception of yourself, and your level of perceived personal value. See and accept this false perception of yourself, and your experience of your reality will change.	

Our ‘true’ perception or concept of ourselves, based on our perceived level or lack of personal value, starts to be created when we are very, very young. How we feel about ourselves when we are first born, is partly a result of the vibrational state we bring with us from our previous life. Each physical life begins with the circumstances of our conception and birth journey. It is then added to, and strengthened, by interactions with parents and significant people in our lives. Because it is basically a computer, as the thinking mind starts to develop, it first needs to decide what its place is in the world, or how to relate itself to the external world, before it can decide what to believe, and what to expect. So its own perception and concept of self and personal worth, or lack of, must first be decided on. Once this has been assumed and decided on, it then starts to work out what to believe about itself and the world, based on the this assumption. Then it decides what to expect. This is a dynamic process with all three parts interacting with each other to create the concept of self, the core identity, and the true ego (the illusion of self). Until by the age of one and a half to two years old, our assumption of perceived level or lack of personal worth is cast. By six and a half to seven, we work out what to believe about ourselves and the external world, and how the two relate, and what to expect from ourselves and the external world as it relates to us, based on that assumption. Then from about seven onwards, we use this information to make all our decisions, and to filter our perception, for the rest of our lives. Unless we consciously choose to disrupt these underlying concepts, assumptions and beliefs, by truly questioning them. 
So get this, it is very important to understand - At about one and a half you had assumed and decided on your perceived value or lack of value, and completely accepted it as real, and then between one and a half and seven, you decided what life was all about, and you are still functioning from those assumptions and beliefs! The bases of all your perception now is based on this now. Isn't that scary? For most, those underlying assumptions and beliefs have 'never' been questioned. Understanding this alone, has helped many of my clients change their approach to themselves and life forever.
Our core identity is partly made up of beliefs that we hold about ourselves, which were either inherited from others, or acquired through our experiences throughout our life, which were based on our perception of personal worth. They are based partly on what we expected to experience, which is in turn based on what we feel we deserve. Finding out how you truly define your 'self', is the secret to experiencing true Conscious awareness and eventual awakening. It is not just a case of finding it out, of course; it is a case of accepting yourself fully once you know how you do truly perceive your self, no matter how different that concept of self is from how you want to perceive your self, or be perceived. 
When I work with people about their core identity, more often than not, all of the negative beliefs they hold about themselves are misconceptions, and misunderstandings made by a young, inexperienced mind, that did not have more information to reason with to establish their true high worth. Their thinking mind therefore created incorrect beliefs about them and their level of personal value. Once these old beliefs were questioned properly, from an optimistic approach and with an uplifting focus, they just dissolved away. Their perception of themselves and life changed, and so did their experience of their reality, and how they treated themselves from then on.
People are often shocked to learn that the beliefs they’ve held about themselves for most of their lives, were never actually true in the first place. Yet they had allowed them to shape and govern their experience of life without question. Never allow a negative or disempowering belief about yourself to go unquestioned. Always use your reasoning to question it from the perspective of looking for an uplifting, pleasing alternative. If you do this, you will always find one — if you expect to, of course. If you can’t find an uplifting alternative perspective, finish the book and try again. You are far more worthwhile, and of far more value, than you may believe at the moment. The more you allow people to see the parts of you that you would rather hide — the things your public identity will tell you are not acceptable, or will get you judged and hurt if you reveal them — the more you’ll set yourself free from the fear they generate within you. If you are hiding nothing from yourself and others, you can be free to just be. This brings a happiness that is hard to imagine for most.
If you grew up in a violent environment, and either had to, or chose through your own rage, to indulge in violent behaviour at any time in your life, it does not make you a bad person simply because you did some violent things. People carry rage towards themselves, and perhaps others, because of the things that have been done to them during their lives, and because of the violence they have inflicted on themselves for not being as they thought they should be. Or because they were unable to do anything to stop those things happening. They then add to that rage about themselves by doing things to support the perception that they are a bad person — by doing what they perceive to be bad things to others, and themselves. This is just staying consistent with the core identity they hold of themselves. The thinking mind is causing them to do the things that support those beliefs about themselves, because this is what they truly expect of themselves. I’m absolutely not getting into blame here when I say that you behave the way you do because of what you perceive was done to you, and what you thought that meant about you personally. It is not because you are an inherently bad person. I am also not saying that whatever was done to you gives you the right to treat others badly, because it absolutely does not! As you raise your awareness and the caring with which you treat yourself, your ability to manage or redirect your conscious mind will become stronger. You will find that you respond and manage your conscious thinking much better, when an opportunity to indulge in the old behaviours that upset you, present themselves, and you will consciously choose more supportive behaviours instead. 
If you believe you are a bad person, your belief about yourself will ultimately put you in situations that allow you to display behaviours that confirm to you that your perceptions of yourself are true. You can and will actually attract these events, situations and interactions to you. This acts as proof for your thinking mind to say, “See, I am a bad person. Look what I do, or look what happens to me.” This is simply your thinking mind causing you to act in accordance with the true identity, or perception, you hold of yourself. Become aware of the behaviours you display that you are less than comfortable with. Then, when you notice them, because you have the awareness and conscious ability to do so, choose different behaviours that serve you better (they are always available). If you do this consistently, you will soon change how you define and perceive yourself. If you are unable to do this at the time, forgive yourself and be kind to yourself anyway. You are not a bad person, and never have been. However, you may sometimes have indulged in what you consider to be bad or disempowering behaviours. Even if you hurt people you believe didn’t deserve it, you have no knowledge of their Karmic debt from this life or another, and nothing happens by accident. That, of course, does not give you the right to be nasty or violent towards anyone. Universal influence puts people together, often victims and perpetrators, to give them both the opportunity to make different decisions in their lives. They are given a chance through these experiences to move in different directions with their perceptions, and therefore attract different things into their lives. If they don’t get the learning, other opportunities will be presented to help them learn to take more responsibility for themselves and their perception, and to make choices that will cause them to feel happier. It is, however, up to the individual how fast they learn, and how many experiences of the same kind they need to indulge in before they grow beyond their current perceptions.
Your core identity and perceived potential is influenced by everything you do. Therefore, it can be changed and updated every moment you are consciously making higher level choices. Forgive yourself no matter what you do, or what happens to you. Do not indulge the thought process that tells you that you are bad or undeserving. Look for all the things in your life that you do that are supportive or caring of you or others, and you’ll find them. There will be plenty, or you would not have been able to survive. Whether you can relate to what I have just said or not, you obviously want more out of life, or you want to feel better; otherwise, you would not be reading this book. You can only judge yourself as bad if you have a good side that your inner judge is using as a comparison. You feel conflicted because you want to be a kind, caring person, and your inner judge is telling you that you're not, and don’t deserve to perceive yourself in a higher way, because you have too much evidence to support these beliefs. Start looking for evidence to the contrary, so you eventually override the negative evidence with supportive evidence. It is available. You just need to look in the right way.
Change your perception of yourself, using a positive approach and focus, and an expectation of finding what is good in you. Your behaviour is not who you are; it is only a symptom of how you perceive yourself to be. Yes, it can cause problems, but there is a bigger problem that is causing disempowering behaviour in the first place: your misconception of your level or lack of self-worth, and your perceived potential, or perceived lack thereof. I often hear people say “I do what I do because of who I am”, where it is more true to say you are the way you perceive yourself to be, partly because you do the things you do. If you want to change how you perceive yourself, change what you do by making conscious choices that will support you more. Some say that “I am the way I am because of the emotions I consistently feel.” It is because of the emotions that you consistently create that help you perceive yourself the way you do.
The fastest way to change your core identity, is to do the empowering, supportive things that scare you, or cause you discomfort when you think about doing them — the things you would not normally do. Obviously, here, I am talking about choosing to do things that could cause you to feel good. What you link pain to, and what you associate pleasure with, both help to shape your perception or concept of self, your comfort and fear zones, and ultimate your experiential destiny in this life. 
Here is a detailed breakdown of how our core identity or perception of ourselves and life, starts to be defined. There are seven processes and stages that affect our nature, and include, what we carry with us from our previous incarnation, when we are conceived, our gestation, and then in our journey when we come out into this physical world, and all will have some effect on us for the rest of this physical incarnation. The stage or stages that had the biggest impact on the child will dictate the nature and general approach to the world of that person. All of these stages have some effect on our perception of life. One, or perhaps a combination of them, will become our default approach to life, at least to some extent. However we can consciously change our perception of ourselves by raising the quality of our conscious thoughts and therefore our reasoning. Before I get into these seven stages, be aware that the vibrational and perceptual level of awareness you had when your previous incarnation ended, is the vibrational and perceptual evolution level that you bring with you, and is the basis of the next evolutionary stage of your raise in awareness and consciousness, even if that is only a small amount. This is really why suicide is pointless when trying to escape your level of awareness and personally generated suffering (which is really all suffering). Here are those stages and some of the possible effects from each stage for each physical entity:

1.	Pre-Conception - Past Life — Our series of lives are a journey, and from an evolutionary standpoint, you start energetically and vibrationally where you left off. We are already predisposed to feel a certain way about our personal value, based on how we felt about ourselves in our previous incarnation. The 'Soul' is really the vibrational signature of you as a part of consciousness, that comes with you through every incarnation, and ties you to the physical form you are inhabiting. That is why suicide can never be an escape. It is merely a way of prolonging the suffering, by guaranteeing you are taking it into a new life and starting with it again. This vibration defined by our perception of value or lack of value is the very thing life will be helping us to evolve beyond. This is the cause of our suffering, and becoming aware of it is the key to self-acceptance, which is the key to awakening. There is no other way...
2.	Conception — Obviously, we are affected by the combination of DNA traits that come from our mother and father. Certain traits and characteristics of our parents’ natures will be coded into our approach to life, beyond what we just pick up and learn from them. Possible effects: The disposition of our parents before and during the energetic coupling that results in the conception of the child, can carry energetic information. I won’t go into all the different combinations of attitudes and approaches that the parents may have had, up to and during intercourse. However, it is important to approach an intended conception with as much positive, loving, caring, compassionate energy as possible. Mutual orgasm can also have an effect on the creation process of a child. I personally believe that this is the whole point of orgasmic energy, and reaching mutual orgasm at the moment of impregnation is a strong energetic stimulant to that new physical entity.
3.	Planetary Forces — We are also affected by the energetic environment based on the planetary alignments, commonly known as the Zodiac, at the time of our conception. These energies tend to instill certain tendencies into a person, and this happens at the time of conception. A person’s star sign must be calculated based on the full-term birth period of nine months, not, as is most often believed, on the day of birth. The true star sign is the one that is prevalent on the day of full term, nine months after conception, and must be calculated using the most up to date zodiac chart, which is around 2 weeks different to the old most commonly used chart, with Christmas falling under Sagittarius instead of Capricorn. Possible effects: You will sometimes be able to see correlations between the typical motivations of somebody born under a particular sign and their general tendencies, and traits. The best book I have read on this is by John Locke, The Third Enlightenment (see recommended resources for details).
4.	Pre-Natal (0-4 months) — What is commonly known as the ‘soul’ of a person does not enter the body of a child until about 4 months after conception. However, the fetus can become aware of the emotions of the mother before that time. The experience for the child during that period of time up until the soul enters the body is really an experience of nothingness or emptiness. There is a lack of motivation to do anything at all, as there is no need to do anything at this stage of life. There is normally plenty of food, warmth and space, in this stage of the physical journey. Possible effects: If the child becomes associated with this stage of pregnancy, it will tend to be apathetic, lethargic, and appear to have little interest in much at all.
5.	Pre-Natal (4 months - birth) — This next period lasts from around four months until birth. The child is affected by any changes that are undergone by the mother, and is usually affected mostly by the chemical substances that are triggered by hormonal changes during pregnancy and through moods etc. Every ‘state’ that the mother experiences emotionally is transferred to the child chemically and emotionally. There are also chemicals introduced into the child by the onset of the birth process, which causes a child to start moving around and becoming more active. The child may feel at this time that there is little room. It may have a sense of being trapped or suppressed, and start experiencing the desire to escape its confinement. Obviously, no matter what the child does, it cannot escape at this time, as it is not ready to be born. Possible effects: If the child becomes associated mostly with this stage of pregnancy, it can be imprinted with a feeling of hopelessness or meaninglessness, and can be plagued by a sense of despair and hopelessness. This will show up as a tendency to quit very soon after starting anything, accompanied by a feeling of always being predisposed to eventual failure. People stuck in this phase can perceive themselves as a victim right from the outset of their life. Especially if they entered this incarnation with a feeling of worthlessness from the previous life.
6.	Labour Contractions — This phase starts with the birth process when the child is made ready for its entry into the world along the birth canal. This process begins with the child turning to face the exit, and then being aided by the contractions of labour. As the child moves along the birth canal, it begins a tremendous struggle. The labour contractions seem to help, but also constrict the child from moving forward at certain points during the long process. The child can sense that freedom is at hand, yet the closer it gets, the more it seems to be held back from final escape. The child may alternate between hope and helplessness as it progresses towards the final outcome.  Possible effects: If the child becomes associated mostly with this birth stage, it may perceive all of life to be a struggle. It may seem like there are always obstacles in the way whenever there is an attempt to progress. One step forward, two steps back. This person may start projects with a desire to complete them well, but will soon give up. If the person does continue, they may perceive it to get harder and harder to continue, and may also experience a sense of helplessness.
7.	Birth — The final stage is the completion of the birth process when the child finally enters this world. Regardless of the shock of leaving the body and entering a much bigger, seemingly hostile world (a smacked bum), the child may experience a great sense of relief. It finally has freedom from its confinement, and external life begins. The first hours of nurturing or cold and alone life are critical to how the child will perceive itself and life. Possible effects: A child that associates mostly with this first stage of birth will experience the sensations of being free. For this person, life can seem very easy and free-flowing. They may perceive very few obstacles and have no problem dealing with the obstacles they do experience. However, if the child’s experiences of life directly after birth are of an unpleasant nature, or appear to offer few feelings of love, they may then go through life experiencing a lack of fulfillment in anything they actually do achieve. They may also start life feeling like a victim, and again, if they had a victim mentality in their previous life, it will be much easier to enter personal victim-hood in this new life.

As the young mind starts to develop its own concept of self, is also affected by collective consciousness, and especially those in close proximity.

The above information may help you to better relate to yourself or your children, and their or your perceived challenges. If you are a pregnant mother, are you excited, happy and relaxed in expectation of your child and the quality of life your child will enter? Or are you stressed and in fear? Do what you can to relax, find peace, and have an optimistic outlook. Raise your level of caring and compassion for yourself and others, for the sake of your child. If you’re a man and your partner is pregnant, what can you do to help her become more relaxed, peaceful, and optimistic for the benefit of your coming child? 
If you have children, how would they describe you as a parent? Indifferent? Selfish? Bullying? Controlling? Demanding? Intolerant? Wrapped up in your own little world? Only interested in what you want? Or would they say that you are understanding, friendly, supportive, attentive and a loving, caring, compassionate parent, who genuinely listens and engages with their children? Answer these questions honestly, so that you can see how you could perhaps adjust your approach to your offspring. Doing so may improve the quality of perception of their life experiences. A child should always be treated as a prince or princess who can do no wrong until they are at least 12. Yes, I know that sounds impossible, but doing that will give them more opportunity of a great quality of life, for the rest of their life. It will also have a positive effect on many others in their life. This does not mean do not teach them boundaries and the consequence of their actions. However, do so from a loving, caring, and emotionally supportive place, as if they are your best friend and your equal, and you do not want to lose their friendship.
For those of you who are interested, there is a process called re-birthing that can actually help reprogram these early stages of perception. However, this process comes with A VERY STRONG WARNING. This MUST be done with people who know EXACTLY what they’re doing, and who understand the dangers of the process. If done correctly, this process can heal and change the programming of the original birth; if done incorrectly, it can severely affect the psychology of the participant. In the resources section at the back of the book, I recommend someone whom I know to be of the highest ability and integrity when it comes to this process.
Just remember, that how you view yourself, affects everything in your life. Your self-esteem, self-respect, self-acceptance and how you treat yourself and others, is all based on the perceived value, or lack of, you apply to being you. Many of your beliefs are based on what you believe is possible and not possible, for you personally, or how you believe you should be treated. You are the most valuable person in your life, and the one person in this world that you truly need to be friends with. Abusing yourself in any area, or to any degree, will not help in this endeavor. Use all the tools in this book to help you see that you are absolutely as valuable and important as everybody else. You are also truly unique in a great way, as you are meant to be. You will find all the evidence you need to support this, if you just look in the right way. honour yourself (praise yourself) anytime you do something that supports you. Say to yourself “I honour myself for not yelling at someone, or for washing my dishes, or cleaning myself, or exercising, or making a phone call, or smiling at someone, or doing something I was nervous about doing, or sending love to someone, or being pleased for someone”. Anything you can honestly praise yourself for. There are many, many things you can focus on to feel good, or at least better about yourself in any moment. You must take part in raising your self-esteem, self-belief and self-acceptance. Do what you can to improve your physical living environment whenever you can. 
Whether you like it or not, you are predisposed to become like those you live with or associate with. Therefore, be very careful when choosing the people you wish to hang around with, as you will become like them. Choose people that you would like to be like. Always be clean and do your best to make sure your living environment is a place you enjoy being. Make sure it is a place you have no embarrassment inviting people to visit. Whether anyone will see it or not. You will and you will judge yourself for it. Don't give you mind the opportunity to do that, for your own good. Constantly find ways to praise yourself with honesty, even if it feels uncomfortable to start with. Look at yourself in the mirror and recognise that you are the best friend you will ever have. Tell yourself in the mirror how much you care about yourself, and how valuable you are in your life, even if it feels uncomfortable. Start by simply saying, “I like you. Thank yourself for being you.” No matter what you think, you have always been there for yourself in the best way you could, using the best strategies and thinking you knew at the time. Thank yourself for that. You would not have survived, and you certainly would not be reading this book, if you didn’t want to survive and want better experiences for yourself. 
Your core identity dictates your regular level of vibration. As your perception of yourself changes, so will your reflection of yourself. 
You are as special as anybody else. You need to do what you can to recognise this, because the only enemy you really have in this world is your willingness to be disappointed with, or even dislike, yourself in any way. Always question and challenge the beliefs you hold about yourself from a supportive, uplifting, compassionate and caring perspective. You deserve it and you are worth it.

What we call human nature is actually the nature of the conceptual self manifesting in the physical world.

The mind needs to blame to justify or substantiate it's suffering because it cannot see that it causes it itself. 

The survival of the concept of the self requires your unquestioning belief in it, and identification with it, and to it.

The Concept of Self is actually a psychological illness.

The whole cycle of perception has been created around your initial concept of self. All personalities have been created around all the versions of self. Each identity is a version of a self and each self is an identity. Each identity and self has its own personalities associated to it, and created by it/for it. The whole mind is structured around the concept of the self.

Your nature/character. 

How you describe yourself to yourself creates a general feeling about yourself, this dictates the kind of approaches you will use in any moment.

Until you become awakened, pretty much everything you do is to fulfil the needs of the self.

We are affected by collective consciousness as soon as the thinking mind begins to develop.

For the mind governed by the concept of self, there is only the me and not me.

All of life actually feels like a struggle for survival when you live fully through the concept of yourself (whether you admit it or not). The thinking mind is based on the concept of the self, and the thinking mind is designed to support the primal mind in its need for survival. Therefore it will do what it can to help the concept of the self survive.

Having a concept of an awakened self, to improve how you see yourself, and how you believe others see you, is still a concept of self, and therefore cannot be awakening.

The conceptual self feels alone and feels that there is no other like it, and gravitate towards those it sees a similar so it doesn't feel so alone, but can at least feel some illusion of safety.

The concept of self using the thinking mind will attach to anything, internal or external, that allows it to keep the 'Self' alive. It is almost constantly in turmoil because it needs to do this to keep the illusion of its concept of 'Self' alive.

Treat your child like a Prince or Princess up to 7  - a King or Queen from 7 to 14 - and from 14 on as a friend. Of course during all of these times you should be guiding your child to be able to make good conscious choices to support themselves, and help to create the kind of experiences they want to have in any moment.

The final vibrations of the previous physical existence are brought into the new life as the beginning vibrational state, as lives are a continuous journey of evolution. There are no hops or skips unless there is a lot of good Karma generated in the previous life to cushion the quality of this life. If the vibration brought with a soul from the previous physical life is more about suffering and struggle life will again start at that vibration also.

All perception whilst you have a psychological 'Self', is created because you are constantly, sub-consciously, describing self to self, and this helps to create your overview memory and perception of self as a vibration.

The tm is repetitive and will repeat whatever it is dialoguing over until it is distracted by a different focus. It also repeats its description of itself to itself over and over again to keep itself alive, and this helps to create the overview feeling you have of your 'self'.

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Since

General Beliefs and Convictions

A belief is just a feeling of certainty about something. 

A belief is just an idea that the mind has found evidence to support (based on its approach, agenda and expectations at the time of its creation) which has then been conditioned through repetitive thought patterns, and the mind continuing to look for evidence to prove the belief real so it has certainty. Your mind is always looking for things that are really fit with the beliefs you were a whole about your self and the external world.

Your mind creates faulty beliefs through a lack of experience, which are accepted as valid beliefs.

Beliefs and expectations are closely linked. When your beliefs truly support your expectations, and vice versa, anything is possible for you in that area of your life. Therefore, your beliefs can clearly enhance or limit your abilities in any area. The creation of your beliefs starts with your expectation around an idea, or your mind looking for evidence to see if something you have heard, been told, or merely assumed, may be true. Once the thinking mind finds evidence, which it always will to gain certainty (even if it has to imagine it), it becomes more certain that whatever it is focused on is true, and when enough evidence has been found to support it, a belief is born. Once they are created, they are accepted as absolutely real by the subconscious mind, because that is what creates them, and then they feed and dictate your expectations. Whenever you have an idea about something, based on your conscious or subconscious expectation surrounding that subject matter, your thinking mind creates an approach and a focus. It then starts automatically asking itself questions based on that perspective (approach and focus). You then describe it to yourself, and then your reasoning process kicks in and starts looking for references or evidence about 'why' the idea is real. Then it looks for what it means about you, or to you. Then emotion follows.
If something happens more than once, the thinking mind presumes that it is something worth paying attention to in case it may pose a threat you. It retains whatever information it needs about that stimulus to use in the future, to help choose its actions to defend against whatever it perceives as a threat. The thinking mind always finds evidence to support the initial idea because it is looking for it, and you get what you look for (truly expect).
If your expectation is of finding a negative outcome, then your approach and focus will be based on a negative expectation. Therefore your thinking mind will start asking questions of your reasoning with the expectation that it will find evidence to support its negative expectation. It works exactly the same way if you have a positive and uplifting expectation about something. The more evidence you find to support an idea, the stronger the ensuing belief will be. The more you continue to accumulate evidence to support this belief (which your mind is always doing subconsciously), the stronger that belief will become, it then becomes a conviction. 
Some people are willing to die for their strong convictions, no matter how absurd they may seem to others. Be aware that the thinking mind can find evidence to support any idea or thought simply by approaching and focusing on information in a certain way. That is why it is possible for someone not only to believe, but to have total conviction that strapping a bomb to themselves and triggering it in the middle of a group of people, including women and children, is the right thing to do. They have found enough evidence because of their expectations, beliefs, approach, focus, how they describe it to themselves, and the direction of reasoning, to allow them to believe that their actions are right and justified. They are not an inherently bad person; they simply believe this behaviour to be the best action they can take to be of value to others, or their perception of a higher cause. This attitude will be mainly based on the beliefs they have taken on board over their experience of life, or that their mind created, which may not even be based on actuality, it can be based on pure imagination that seamed real.
We can inherit beliefs, ideas, and prejudices from people that we value. When we are young, our inexperienced thinking mind assumes that if these people, whom we value so much, have these beliefs, then they must be true. After all, these people were our models of how to be and how to interact in this physical world. Therefore, we usually accept their beliefs, ideas, statements and prejudices as real without question, when we are young. We then add those beliefs and assumptions to our evaluation of ourselves and our world. We are also predisposed to look for evidence to support these ideas, which increases our belief in their validity, even though they were probably never our beliefs in the first place. When you have an idea, you’re actually asking your thinking mind to find evidence to support that idea, based on how you are approaching and focusing on it, whether you realise it or not. When you are young, you obviously don’t  realise you are doing this. You can get ideas about anything even if it is not true, and the thinking mind will go and find evidence to support your ideas or concepts. The thinking mind wants to hold onto the beliefs you already hold, so much so, that it will adjust information, often using imagination, to fit with your current beliefs. It will even make up evidence in order to give us what we expect, and therefore meet our thinking need for certainty. For the thinking mind, even imagined evidence can be accepted as true. Beliefs about others and life in general also support what you believe about yourself. Your perceived level or lack of self-worth predisposes you to have certain kinds of beliefs that support your evaluation of yourself, and your world. These beliefs dictate what you think you do and don't deserve, and that in turn feeds your expectations.
The beliefs you have about yourself, that you are less than pleased about, also came about this way. The inexperienced mind of the child you once were, heard something said, or experienced something, that caused you to have an idea about yourself. This influenced your perception of your value or lack of value in one area or another. When this happened, your thinking mind started to look for evidence, which it will always find, because it’s looking in that direction with expectation. Eventually it accumulated enough evidence for the idea to become a belief. Once it became a belief, you then started evaluating your experience of yourself, your perceived reality, and the world, through the influence of your new belief. Therefore, once a disempowering belief has been created, it will engender and support other disempowering beliefs. This disempowering creation of beliefs will not stop until your original assumptions that created your beliefs are questioned, and enough evidence is acquired to support a new, more supportive belief about yourself. Given time and practice (conditioning), the new belief will eventually be accepted as more valid by the subconscious thinking mind, and will then be used instead of the original. 
Many of your beliefs will have come from your environment and what was perceived as possible or impossible for the population around you. If you came from a poor environment where everyone was competing for the little there was to go around, you may believe that all people steal, lie and cheat; that money is very scarce; that there are those that are meant to have and those that are not; that it is a ‘dog-eats-dog’ or ‘kill-or-be-killed’ world. If you came from a violent environment, you may believe that violence is the only answer when it comes to getting what you want, or resolving issues, situations and interactions in your favour. If we perceive threat and we have violence in our past, we are more prone to turn immediately to violence as a solution. Most external violence is a result of internal violence directed at the self. This is by far the most painful, and is what is triggered by external criticism etc. It is not the external stimulus that hurts, only our own internal violence against ourselves.
If you came from an affluent background, you may believe that you are one of the privileged members of society who deserves to have money and opulence. You may also believe that people who do not have what you have are inferior to you, and therefore you can treat them as you please. Alternatively, you may be from an affluent background and believe that people will do anything to take your money or position from you. It totally depends on the information you pick up from those who are close to you, or important to you, or the people you are most often exposed to, what approach you take. 
Just remember that whatever belief you have, it can be changed by looking and therefore finding evidence in your life to support the opposite belief about yourself, others and life. There are many rich people who started out with nothing, and came from a low-awareness background. (In this case, by low awareness, I mean low awareness of the choices that are truly available in any moment) There are also many people who came from affluent backgrounds who are living in virtual poverty, or are heavily addicted to some form of drug, or have really challenging personal lives. The background you came from is only one factor in your challenge to transcend your thinking perception of yourself.
Your understandings and knowledge also feed your beliefs. The more you understand and know about the possibilities in your life, because others similar to you have achieved them, the more you can believe these things are possible for you. If you think something is not possible for you, seek out people who came from similar backgrounds, who perhaps have similar physical attributes (if it is something physical you want to achieve), and find out how they approached their challenges and goals. What can you model (emulate) from them, so you can achieve it too? If it is possible for them, it is probably only your limiting beliefs that may be stopping you. You should never settle for what your limiting beliefs tell you. Always challenge them by questioning them, and the assumptions that created them. And expanding your perception of what is possible for you in that, or any area. Just remember this: the level of success available to one mind is available to any physically healthy mind. More than that is available to any mind that is truly open. The only true limit to a person’s potential is their limited expectations of self and life. I once believed that I could not do martial arts to stay fit and flexible past a certain age, because my hips no longer had the flexibility required to be able to kick properly. So I just put it off, even though I had wanted to train again in serious self-defence for many years for physical health reasons. With the help of my friends and instructors Chris and Andy, I learned what was actually possible once I genuinely applied myself, and let go of my disempowering expectations of my perceived physical limits. Now I can powerfully kick above my head even whilst spinning around. At the time of writing this, I am heading towards my black belt in Freestyle Martial Arts, which is Karate, Kick-boxing and Ju-Jitsu combined — a form of physical exercise that my previous limiting belief stopped me from participating in and enjoying. My achievement would not have been possible if I had not challenged and superseded my beliefs and expectations in this area. 
The quality of your thoughts, beliefs, expectations, approach and focus also dictate how you describe things to yourself, and also what you use your imagination to create in your life. You can use imagination to help you succeed by imagining yourself succeeding. If you do it with enough emotional intensity and repetition, your mind will accept it as possible, even probable if you do it enough. Then the expectation of success in this area of your life can become normal, and it will become part of your comfort zone, and what you believe you can have or do. Done enough it will become part of what you believe you deserve. Your thinking mind only has to accept something as possible ‘for you’ in order for it to become a true possibility for you. Use the fact that your mind does not know the difference between what you vividly imagine and what actually happens to condition it in your favour with what is possible for you. If you have ever done something once, you can believe it is possible for you, even if the experience only took place in your vivid imagination.
If you can’t find evidence from your past that something is possible for you, do something now that at least starts you moving towards creating the belief that it is possible for you. I wondered if writing a book was possible for me. I knew that I could write short stories, because I had done so in school. I knew the subject matter of this book very well because I constantly live it, and I knew that since I had resolved challenges in the past, that I could do so again. Therefore, I believed that I could write at least one complete chapter. Every big challenge is usually made up of multiple smaller challenges. If you can believe that you can meet small challenges in the direction you want to go, then you have enough evidence to show that you can eventually meet all the challenges. I started to cultivate the belief that as long as I can do one chapter at a time, I could eventually complete a book. Each time I worked on, or completed, a chapter, I added that accomplishment to my evidence of what was possible for me. Whenever I began to perceive that the task was daunting, I just accessed my belief that as long as I continued doing what I could, each moment I wrote, I would be able to complete the book. The only reason you are reading this book now is because I dismissed old beliefs and created new beliefs that allowed me to achieve the decided upon outcome. Always do what you can to prove that your limiting beliefs are the only real obstacle stopping you from achieving your goals or ambitions.
If you believe something is not possible for you, it is true, until you challenge the belief, or the assumption that created it, and overcome it. Always confront your limiting beliefs by genuinely questioning their validity, with the knowledge that they are already incorrect. Realise they are all that’s holding you back from your true potential, and the experiences you want in your life. Question every belief about yourself that says you are less than, not as good as, no good at, inferior to, broken, damaged, dysfunctional, unlikable, unlovable or inherently bad. Question the validity of any belief you have that is not uplifting, or does not cause you to feel good when you think of it, in order to destroy it, not confirm it. If you have a belief that you are not lovable, ask yourself honestly from the heart if this is really true. Look for evidence or references in your life that show that this belief is not true, and that you do good things, and you will absolutely find them. During the very beginning stages of coaching, some people make statements like “I don’t deserve it” or “I don’t deserve to feel good.” My immediate question is “Why?” Without exception, as soon as they genuinely look to see if this is actually true, using up-to-date evidence, they cannot genuinely continue to support their old belief. Their statements simply aren’t true and are just old unquestioned or unchallenged conditioning, and is based on an assumption they made about themselves at a very young age. They have just subconsciously accepted the assumption for years, if not decades, that these and similar statements are true. When in fact they are usually based on old, incorrect or out-of-date assumptions and information. They have been living their lives through an assumption and belief that they blindly accepted as valid, and may never have actually genuinely questioned.  
Any belief you have about your lack of value or lack of self-worth, is actually untrue. You need to question it, with the focus that you are looking to see why it is not true, and expose it as the mistruth that it is. If you can look with the right expectation and focus, you’ll see that the opposite uplifting, inspiring truth about your true value is there. It always was, because you are of immense value. You are as valuable as anyone else! Never allow your disempowering beliefs about yourself to go unquestioned. Your experience of anything really comes down to how you describe it to yourself, so this process also goes for statements and comments that you make about yourself or life, and the stories you tell yourself and others. Any repeated statement is basically an affirmation — better described as an incantation. In fact, if it is a disempowering statement about yourself or life, it is really an in-can’t-ation. Your beliefs are strengthened by your incantations and affirmations, whether they are uplifting or disempowering, conscious or subconscious, heard or unheard by you. 
If you repeat something often enough, and the mind accepts it as no threat, it will filter it out of your conscious awareness, because your thinking mind no longer perceives a need to give it conscious attention. Nevertheless, it is still experienced and evaluated subconsciously. Statements like “I am no good at that or this”, or “I don’t deserve this or that” or “I won’t ever be wealthy or successful because people like me don’t get the breaks others get”, are common. These are statements that support and build corresponding beliefs. Therefore, as long as you are repeating them, you are keeping those beliefs in place, and strengthening them through repeated conditioning. As long as you have these beliefs, your thinking mind will make sure they are upheld in some way. Spending some extended time in complete silence, at least 5 days, is a great way to start hearing the things that are normally unheard by you, because of the mental chatter that the thinking mind imposes on us all the time. 
Once you can hear these disempowering statements,  comments, stories and descriptions, you must consciously employ and cultivate the internal voice of uplifting reasoning to redirect your thinking to overwrite them. The voice of higher reason is a powerful healer. It comes from the right brain, and not the left-brain logical thinking mind. It is the supportive voice that takes the opposite perspective to the negative, critical internal voice, that you often hear. When your negative voice says something like “You’re not going to be good at that”, treat it like someone else is saying this to you, and employ your supportive right-brain voice of higher reasoning to question it in a calm, assertive way, by saying something like “You don’t know that. I have never tried it, and I can do anything I put my mind to. I can do this, also, if I choose to.” Whatever the situation, your supportive voice should be offering the optimistic, uplifting, encouraging, and positive opposite-side perspective. When your thinking mind says, “I hate this”, or “I hate that”, respond with “Actually, I don’t hate it. I find it a challenge, but I like it because it challenges me to a higher level of perceptual awareness.” This voice always expects the best, but has been drowned out by the louder, overpowering voice of the left-brain thinking mind. There is always a higher, more supportive perspective to be found if you look. Remember this; beliefs and expectations lead your perception, and therefore your experience of reality, which in turn supports and creates your beliefs, which create your expectations. 
There are two main types of beliefs: personal and global beliefs. Personal beliefs are the beliefs you hold about yourself and your interaction with life. Global beliefs are those you hold about the bigger picture of life, other people, and the world in general, and those you apply in a blanket way over any subject matter. These come from the same place as all of your beliefs: either you inherit them, or you find evidence to support ideas you have that become beliefs. When you make blanket statements like “People are…” or “Life is…” or “Everyone thinks…” or “Everyone does…” or “You do, don’t you?” or “We do, don’t we?” or many other variations, you are projecting your beliefs. Your thinking mind usually assumes that these beliefs are shared by others, and encompass everyone, or everything, in that area of belief. These beliefs trap you into assuming that this is the way things are, and that trying to oppose them will cause you to suffer or be judged by others. This is also a belief. It would serve you to let go of your attachment to these kinds of beliefs. Treat everyone as unique, and every situation as a new unique experience. Just remember that your beliefs are yours. In all likelihood, they are not shared by others, or at least not in the same way. People’s beliefs tend to be slightly different on any subject because, of course, their experiences of life will have been different in some, or many ways. 

Criticising, punishing or abusing people because they have different beliefs is belief-ism and is no different to racism.	

Expecting others to have the same beliefs as you, trying to impose your beliefs on others, or trying to get others to live by your beliefs, or expecting them to, will ultimately cause you immense suffering. Everybody is entitled to his or her own beliefs. Nobody has to share yours, no matter how much you want them to, or think they should — no matter how strongly you believe that your belief is right, or the right way to be. Your beliefs may be perceived as true for you, but they do not have to be for anyone else! You have to live with the consequences of your beliefs, and so do they with theirs. So why not make sure that all your beliefs are based on uplifting perceptions of yourself and others? They will serve you much better than the disempowering beliefs you have inherited or picked up somewhere else. Your ability to justify and rationalise your beliefs, can also be extremely dangerous, and limiting in your interactions with other people. Some people are so adept at justifying their beliefs, that they can trap themselves into keeping beliefs that do not serve them, and also try to impose them on others, because they believe they are the beliefs to have. I often hear people justifying why their belief systems are superior to those of other people, just so that they can feel certain and superior (significant), or at least not inferior to others. 
If you believe that other people should have your belief systems, then you are trapped by your justifications of your own beliefs. You are stuck. This is just public identity (driven by ego), and is perceived as arrogance. If you can always justify why you’re right, what chance or opportunity is there for you to grow beyond where you are? Self-righteousness is the biggest blinder of people when it comes to self-awareness. Self-righteousness fully justifies the self, and therefore freedom from the self, or even consciousness of self, is impossible. Growth beyond how you currently perceive yourself is very important if you experience discomfort with yourself in any way. If someone else has more disempowering beliefs than you, yet they are open to grow beyond them, eventually they will grow beyond your level of awareness also. Always look for an opportunity to update your beliefs, and not to prove they are right, but to honestly update them. Stop defending them or trying to show that yours are the right ones to have. If you can do this, you will have a chance to grow beyond your present struggles, and you will definitely be having struggles and conflict if you are attached to, and unwilling to, constantly question and update your beliefs.
There are two kinds of knowledge: that based on just information (perhaps from books or information from others), and knowledge based on experience. It is important that your beliefs are based on your experiences, and not just on information you have acquired about people, situations, events or interactions from somewhere other than your experiences. It is very important that you experience a thing, rather than blindly accept someone’s belief about it, as we do when we are young. Yes, I know I am asking you to believe what I am saying to you. I am also showing you how you can experience it quickly for yourself. If someone tells you that you will feel a certain way if you believe certain things, then find a way to experience what it is really like, before you accept it as true for you. 
Never accept someone else’s belief about anything. Always find your own truth through experience. Having a belief based on something you have never experienced, is like trying to sell something you have never used yourself. Or like telling someone about something that you’ve never done, in a way that implies that you have. How can there be any depth to what you are talking about if you have not actually experienced it for real? When somebody is telling you about something they have not actually experienced, and are trying to pretend (to you or themselves) that they have, there is a hollowness to what they’re describing. Since there is no experience linked to the information, there will be no true feeling about it coming from them, other than what their imagination can muster. If you have not actually experienced something, the best you will be able to do is describe the thinking concept of someone else's experience. Experience is lost in the translation to words because words are concepts.
Experience comes in the form of a feeling, a depth, which is transmitted at the same time as the vocal story. When people are aware enough, they can feel the difference between something that has actually been experienced by the person, and something they’re just talking about as if they have experienced it. This totally applies to stories you’re telling yourself as well. If you are telling yourself stories about things you have not actually experienced, you are simply lying to yourself. Consequently, you will limit your ability to experience anything different from that which you’re trying to convince yourself (or others) about. Internal integrity is about being honest, first and foremost, with yourself. If you are not honest with yourself, you certainly can't be honest with others. honour yourself with internal integrity. You deserve it. And forgive yourself any indiscretions in this area as soon as you become aware of them. Internal integrity is not about punishing yourself; it is about honestly having the awareness that you can make a choice not to indulge such thoughts, and accepting whatever decisions you make. Forgive yourself right away for anything you have ever done that you perceived to have been wrong.
There is no real biological difference between how you perceive and how others perceive. Perception of your available choices helps to define your potential. Therefore, if something is possible for someone else, then it is probably possible for you too, as long as you truly believe it. You can think of it this way: if it is possible to create a belief based on having an idea, and focusing on it in a certain way, then it is also possible to change a belief, by questioning it and the assumption that created it, and then approaching and focusing on whatever it relates to, in a different way.

Everyone innately believes that their beliefs are real (to have certainty), but there are only based on the assumptions and perceptions they had at the beginning of that belief evolving into being real for them.

Much of your suffering starts out with bad beliefs followed by bad assumptions followed by delusional justifications.

The mind creates faulty beliefs through lack of knowledge and experience. Reasoning uses your lack of experience to come up with a rational explanation that becomes a belief. Rationalisation creates justification and this becomes a psychological trap in itself.

It's not what you think you know or don't know, but what you 'believe' you know that is the challenge.

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True Expectations — You Get What You 'Truly' Expect

In the long run we get nothing more than we 'truly' expect to get. If you truly expect something, will you already be looking for evidence of it. You also attract experiences that are ‘like’ your expectations, and you only tend to focus on, or give your attention to, what you expect to experience. It is a well-known scientific fact that the mind perceives and experiences what it expects or wants to perceive and experience. Also, the body acts out what the mind thinks, and the mind reacts to what your speech patterns and body language are telling it to think and feel. There was a study carried out in a major university in America to see how much of an effect expectations can have on a person’s experience of reality. They took a reasonably large group of students and separated them into two groups. They gave one group a tablet containing amphetamines (like speed or cocaine), which speeds the body up significantly, and the other group received tranquilizers, which slow the body down significantly. They told the group that received the amphetamines that they were receiving tranquilizers, and the group that received the tranquilizers, that they were getting amphetamines. The results were astonishing. Around 35% of each group experienced the physical changes that they ‘expected’ to experience, based on what they had been told. Some who had been given amphetamines, experienced a slowing down of the body, and drowsiness etc., while some who had been given tranquilizers experienced a speeding up of the body and became more active, even hyperactive. Both responses were totally in opposition to how they should have felt based on the physiological changes that ‘should’ have taken place in them. This means that the mind not only had to create the response expected, but it also had to override the physiological responses triggered by the actual drugs. The symptoms the students focused on getting, based on their beliefs about the substance they had been told they were given, and their expectations, became reality to them. Totally in opposition to what should have physically happened. This is a fantastic example of people getting exactly what they ‘expect’ to get, and not what is actually presented to them. 
Our true expectations are actually our unconscious prayers that get answered. To pray for something new, your expectations and beliefs about what you deserve must be in line with receiving what you pray for. Your life moves towards your true expectations, which can be affected by your intentions. In fact, scientists have found a correlation that could prove that the universe interacts with our expectations. They have found that quarks, tiny particles of matter, react directly to the expectations of the observer. Separate scientists tested quarks to see what their properties were, and the only correlation they found between the results, was that the particles reacted in the way that the examiner expected them to react. Quarks are part of the underlying structure of everything in the universe, and they respond to whatever you expect. Amazing, isn’t it? 
I believe in the concept of evolution, in part because of the constant evidence I see that expectation and intent are attracting and creating the situations and changes that occur in our lives. This I believe is the basis of the movie 'The Secret'. Believe it or not, we create most of the circumstances of our adult life. If you experience the circumstances of your life as being bad, it is not because this is what you deserve; it is because that is what you expect to experience, subconsciously or often consciously. You may not believe that you expect some of the things that happen to you — part of you probably wants to think you expect better — but listen a little deeper. Look at the evidence regularly presented to you in your experiences, and you will find that your experiences are in line with your true expectations of yourself, others, and life itself. You attract experiences that are ‘like’ your expectations — so you get what you expect to get. Also, if you really don’t expect to get something, you won’t get it. Or at least you won’t notice the experience it offers you, even if it does come your way, because your attention will be looking for evidence that supports your original expectations. Your expectation is one of the main forces that govern the events, situations and interactions sent to you by universal influence, for you to experience in your life. Changing your expectations by raising your level of perceived worth, and updating or creating new beliefs, will change your experience of reality, and life. 
Lack, or poverty, especially in the Western world, is something that is manifested through true expectation. Poverty, especially in the western world, is attracted to those who are in thinking and vibrational harmony with it. Luck is the same. Bad luck is still luck, and is also manifested through expectation. Luck is when intent, expectation & opportunity collide/combine. A great golfer once said, “It’s a funny thing, the more I practise, the luckier I get.” Your intent is very important when you are directing yourself to receive a certain outcome. Intent is not only important in Karma, it is also very important in your approach to life. Luck appears when intent, expectation and opportunity coincide. This is called coincidence. What you perceive as bad luck is often just an experience presented to you by your guides to offer you a lesson to help you become aware of the kind of expectations or intent you have. If you expect to feel bad, or expect to fail, you will attract other people who expect to feel bad or fail as well. Look around at the people with whom you have surrounded yourself, or are drawn to interact with, by apparent choice, and listen to their dialogue. Are they complaining, moaning, gossiping, blaming, or talking as if they are stuck, and that life is against them in some way? Or are they usually talking about themselves, or bragging in about things to mask their true insecurities? Or pointing out how they perceive that others are less than or inadequate in some way? 
Even if they express these beliefs and expectations in a small way, consider the possibility that you are probably indulging in this too. If this is not the way you truly want to be, then start raising your expectations, approaches and dialogue. Choose your approaches very carefully and what you give your attention to, and how. If you want to feel good, you must approach events, situations and interactions in an optimistic and uplifting way, and focus on, and talk about, things that allow you to feel good, both when you speak to yourself and others, and when you speak about yourself and others. You also need to stop indulging in conversation and dialogue that does not cause you to feel good. You must consciously choose whether or not to indulge in the kind of dialogue that allows you to feel good, or you will just become a victim of your conditioned, subconscious dialogue and expectations. Changing the quality of your dialogue with others will help your internal dialogue with yourself to adjust. Improvement in this respect will increase the quality of how you feel on a regular basis.

Your low expectations and undirected thinking cause virtually all of your perceived limitations.	

A famous man once said "As a man thinketh, so shall he be"! You will achieve what you truly expect to achieve, and you will fail when you truly expect to fail. Expectation is the same as an energetic invitation for things to come into your life — a psychic invitation that is heard by creation and your guides, and will usually be fulfilled, one way or another. Your expectation is based on your perceived level or lack of personal worth and value, both to you and to others. Your beliefs also direct your expectation, remembering, of course, that your true beliefs are also in harmony with your expectations, and your expectation helped to direct the creation of your beliefs. Your constant internal statements and affirmations — your incantations or in-can’t-ations — also drive your expectations. If you keep saying, “I can’t find it”, what do you think your mind will be expecting to happen? It’s often why you can’t see something right in front of your face, simply because you keep in-can’t-ing to yourself that you can’t see it. Statements and incantations can be that powerful.
Our true expectation also directs what we see in the world. We identify most strongly with people who we perceive to be ‘like’ us — people who have similar expectations about themselves, others, and life, or who have similar life conditions. Because of these factors, we usually notice people like us more often. I am happy, so I notice happy people. A person who is miserable will notice miserable people more often than not. When they do see happy people, they often judge them harshly, using them as a comparison so they can continue to feel miserable, bad or insecure. Almost all of their interactions are driven by their misery, simply because that is what they truly expect to feel, or they get comfort from its perceived safety. Your manifested life is a partially a direct result of the expectations you hold for yourself and of life. Your life is actually as you truly expect it to be (not your egotistical public identity image of what you want to think it should be like). 
Be aware that your expectations will always bear fruit. This is important to remember, as looking at the evidence displayed to you in you life will help you gauge your true expectations. If your public identity is telling you that you should be perceived as successful or famous (or something else) and you are not, then you need to look at the evidence that is displayed in your actual results. Perhaps your true expectation is different to what you want to believe your expectations are. What you want to believe you deserve, and what you actually believe you deserve, may be two very different realities. The discrepancy between the two may even help to support your underlying true expectation that perhaps you don’t deserve better. Pay attention to the evidence displayed by your actual results, and then decide how you can adjust your approaches etc. to manifest what you want to experience.

Success and failure are predictable based on the true expectations of the person involved and what they focus on/give their attention to.

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What Our Concept Of Self Defines
Your core identity defines how you experience everything, and what everything means to, or about you.

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Self-Esteem - Your level of self esteem is basically how much you value yourself, and the decisions you continue to make about your perceived lack or level of self worth. 
Honouring yourself first is about self-esteem.

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Self-Belief- Your self-belief is based on all of the things you have done, and think you can do, and the things you have evidence of that are possible for you. If you want to raise your self-belief, self-belief and confidence come from doing, which creates experience, and often the experience of succeeding in that area. When you've done something in a way that allows you to know it is possible for you, then you can believe it is possible for you. So self-belief and confidence really come from the experience of doing the things required for you to have self-belief and confidence. Speaking to yourself and others in a way that implies or shows why you can do something, will greatly increase your ability to do it. Self-doubt on the other hand is created by how you describe yourself to yourself, and others, over the event, situation or interaction that you are focused on, in a way that tells you that you cannot, or do not deserve to succeed.

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Self-Respect - Your level of self-respect is really how much you do or do not value yourself, and what you are or are not prepared to accept from yourself and others. It defines how you treat yourself and therefore as an extension, others. Your self-respect is based on your perception of personal value or lack of. With a low perception of value, you’ll have little reason or little evidence to show that you deserve to be respected, and have little reason to treat yourself with respect. You will allow others to treat you badly, as long as they don't treat you worse than you treat yourself. Having self-respect is of utmost importance because this will dictate how well you act towards yourself, and how good you expect to feel at any moment. Always catch yourself doing things that support you, and always look for how you are worthwhile in any situation. If you don't treat yourself well at all times, why would you expect anyone else to?

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Level of Self-Acceptance - Your level of self-acceptance is paramount, and is how much you accept yourself no matter what others may or may not think. You may believe that you accept yourself fully in your role as being wealthy or perceived as famous, etc. However, that’s all based on public opinion. And if you need public opinion to feel good about yourself, that’s not self-acceptance, that's assumed acceptance from others that then allows you to feel ok about yourself. When the others take away their acceptance of you, what is left? If tomorrow you lost all your fame and riches, status, everything you perceive you have that gives you some level of perceived self-acceptance, how would you actually feel about yourself? Because then you would be face to face with yourself, with nobody to use to define yourself. How would you feel then?
Self-acceptance is exactly that; it’s how much you actually accept yourself, regardless of whether others accept you or not. When true self-acceptance happens, then there’s no need to change. Your public identity will tell you that there is a certain way that you need to be to be acceptable. That unfortunately is based on what others think, and is a by-product of your image of how you think you should be. Accepting yourself because you are how you think you should be, is not self-acceptance; it’s indulging in what would traditionally be called ego, but is what I call public identity. True self-acceptance is when you accept yourself regardless of what anybody else thinks or might think. Warts and all, you accept yourself as you truly perceive yourself to be, with no measurement or judgement at all! When you accept yourself in this way, all that’s left is peace, because there is no longer any struggle over who or how you think you should be.

Acceptance is really the recognition of the lack of acceptance, and the lack of acceptance is attachment to something else instead. Acceptance is letting go of attachment to any other outcome or expectation. Excepting your self as you perceive yourself is the key to experiencing more inner peace. What is is already perfect, what you're experiencing is exactly what you need to experience to evolve beyond how you are experiencing.
When you think you should be another way, you do not have acceptance for how you are. If you make a wire wrong in any moment, you will suffer. If you make who you are or where you are wrong in any moment, you'll suffer. How you are and where you are is perfect. What is in any moment is what is. Acceptance of that, and faith that there will come, will bring you peace. you have been conditioned to believe that acceptance can only come from becoming acceptable. Just by accepting what is, and letting go of the need for something to change, allows the experience of that peace without anything having to change. This is far easier than having to change before you can experience peace.
If you tell lies and you don't think you should be a liar, and you down except that you tell lies for justifiable reasons, and you think you should not do so, you'll suffer. If you fully accept that you tell lies (or indulge in any other behaviour you perceive to be unacceptable), they will be no suffering over it internally. You may think making yourself wrong and attacking yourself for doing any behaviour that you think you shouldn't will remove that behaviour, look back over your life and see if it has ever worked. If it had worked, you would not be indulging in the behaviour now. Yet I am sure you have criticised yourself many times over the behaviours you think you should not indulge in and you still indulge them. Therefore this strategy does not work. If it was going to work, it would have actually worked the first time you did it. Excepting is the only way to grow beyond and I'll tell you why.
When you don't accept yourself over any behaviour etc, you create turmoil. The turmoil becomes all you experience, and you don't get to consciously see the process that drives the behaviour itself. When you accept the behaviour and the turmoil ends, a space appears around that behaviour of the largest see the process that drives the behaviour, instead of just experiencing the turmoil that comes up when you're in a situation where that behaviour can present itself or manifest. Once the turmoil subsides, you start to be able to see the process in action earlier and earlier. Until eventually you see the process before it starts, before you lie etc. Then a conscious choice can be made not to indulge in that behaviour and something miraculous happens. The conditioning of that process is now broken, and the more often you indulge in a new process of choice, the more the mind sees that it is beneficial to itself to continue this new behaviour. Now the behaviour that you didn't like dissipates without you doing anything further. This would not have been possible if you had not accepted the behaviour start with so the turmoil could die away and leave space for the new choice. Nothing else will allow this process to take place other than acceptance and surrender of the attachment to being different.

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Perceived Potential - Your perceived potential is based on your beliefs and your expectations. You will only ever really try to do what you believe is possible for you, and what is possible for you is based on what you perceive your potential to be in any area. Your true potential is far more than you can even start to imagine right now. I can almost guarantee that your true potential is currently hidden from you because it is not part of your true concept of yourself at the moment. No matter what area of life you’re focused on, your potential is only what you believe is possible for you in that area and what you expect to happen to you. Your perceived potential dictates what you will and won't try to do. Your perceived potential is also used to choose your friends and intimate partners.

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Your Comfort Zone - Your comfort zone is dictated by your perceived level of worth, true beliefs and expectations, and also your perceived potential, and your self-belief, and what you believe you do and don’t deserve. Do something every day that scares you. Dance as if no one is watching. Sing as if no one can hear you. Love like you have never been hurt. Play like you are a child. Love yourself as if you have never done anything to be disappointed with yourself for. Do whatever it takes to feel genuinely good. Imagine your comfort zone as a circle or a bubble around you. Then imagine all the things that you want to do, but are perhaps scared of doing, at different points all around you, but outside of that bubble. Everything you normally do is within your comfort zone and is considered to be ‘safe’, or at least reasonably safe if it is still only a new experience within your comfort zone. Everything else is in your Discomfort or Fear Zone. What you feel safe doing may even appear to feel good if you don’t have high expectations of what feels good, or you have a low expectation of yourself or your potential. You will always be pushed by your Guides and universal influence to expand your comfort zone to decrease thinking and imagined fear in your life, and raise your awareness beyond just thinking.
When you do something that pushes away your fear by challenging it in one direction, it’s like putting air in your bubble of comfort — it expands in all directions, not just in the one direction or area of your challenge. That means when you do something in one area of your life that pushes your comfort zone, other events, actions or interactions that may not even be related to the first action, suddenly become less scary, or even easy. Your comfort zone has expanded to cover more than just the one thing you did, or action you took. This is an example of the law of multiple returns. Every time you come up against a fear and retreat from it, there are multiple costs. For every choice or action that challenges a fear or perceived limitation, there are multiple rewards. Expanding your comfort zone also raises your perception of yourself, your self-belief and your perceived potential. No matter what you do, or what the outcome, honour yourself for having the courage to have a go at something, even if it does not turn out in the way you wanted it to, or thought it should. Every action produces a result, and every result offers an opportunity to learn. Challenge your fear at every opportunity and never let it dominate your life. Otherwise, you will live a fearful life on one level or another. 

Those who risk making mistakes always achieve something, even if it’s just expanding their comfort zone.	

If you are used to suffering, then it will be part of your comfort zone. Do not settle for that. People are often so scared to go after what they want, in case they perceive themselves to fail and beat themselves up, that they do not pursue a higher quality of living or new experiences. It can be hard if you perceive yourself to have failed, but it's ultimately more painful to never try. That process is based on fear, and fear will contain you forever, and get stronger if you indulge it. Growth requires different choices, and different choices create uncertainty, which can manifest as fear. Everything you want is on the other side of your fear over it, and the process of getting it. Making a perceived mistake is a learning opportunity, not failure, but not learning from it will feel like that.
Identify one thing that you avoid doing everyday through fear, and start doing it. Within a few short weeks, it will no longer be a problem for you. Don't accept any fear that is generated by the mind, which is any fear other than actual in the moment imminent physical danger fear; watch it dissolve and you will transcend it. You have the ability and the right. Use it. Little things done consistently will produce far better results than doing something spectacular occasionally. Little things done consistently add up to spectacular eventually. Consistency creates a cumulative effect. Make sure, however, that these little consistent actions are uplifting and empowering in nature, and move you towards feeling genuinely good. Consciously employ your higher reasoning to show why you should not be scared or fearful. The bigger your comfort zone, the smaller your discomfort or fear zone will be.

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What You Perceive You Do & Don’t Deserve - We will only ever move towards, or except from life, what we believe we deserve. What you perceive you do and don’t deserve is based on core identity. And by what you do and don’t deserve don’t necessarily mean good things. If you believe you deserve to be treated badly, then you will attract that behaviour, or create it. If you believe you don’t deserve to be treated well, it’s really the same thing. If you believe you deserve to be successful in whatever you choose to do, then that will be true for you. If you don’t believe something is possible for you, that will be true as well, because you’ll only ever do or get what you expect. You’ll only ever remain consistent with what you believe you deserve or don't deserve, which means it is then also your perceived, and therefore your manifested potential. It’s not true; it’s only what you perceive to be true.

Success actually has little to do with intelligence. It has to do with beliefs, expectations perception of self worth. You only get what you believe you deserve.

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What You Perceive You Can & Can’t Have - The same can be said for what you perceive you can and can’t have. You will only ever have what you’re in vibrational harmony with. And you’ll only be in vibrational harmony with that which you believe you deserve. So you can only ever have what you believe you deserve, otherwise you will subconsciously or consciously, find a way of not getting it, or letting it go, or having it taken from you, or even destroying it yourself, because it will cause fear and uncertainty if you don’t believe you deserve it. 
	
	It is very important to be aware of what you believe your true potential is, what you really expect for yourself, what’s within your comfort zone, and what is perceived to be outside it, in your discomfort or fear zone, what you honestly perceive you do and don’t deserve, and what you genuinely perceive you can and can’t have. These are all very important things, and when you become aware of what they truly are, you can start to question their validity, because they are only ever based on your perception, they are not real. But they are real to you if you indulge them. 

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	We All Have Multiple Identities
There is a natural duality between consciousness and physicality, and there is and natural duality between physical energies, but the duality in the mind is the try problem with humanity at this time. Multiple identities, concepts of self, is what causes the experience of duality. 

Each identity is essentially an ego - a concept of self. The base self, the spiritual self, ideal self, public self, victim self etc.

Within us there is the experience of having more than one person inhabiting our mind, whether  you consciously recognise this or not. These Can be different identities (and different personalities, which I will get on to). These different identities can feel like different people functioning inside you. Depending on the strengths and support you give to each of these identities, you will experience them weakly or strongly. They are basically created as the thinking mind is developing, and based on what you believe to be your personal value or lack of value at the time. 
In my opinion, we have three main identities. 
 	Core Identity - How we ‘actually’ perceive ourselves to be. This could also be called our true self-identity or our true perceived concept of self, our self image. This identity determines our perceived potential, comfort zone and self-belief etc., because we will not allow ourselves to go beyond what we believe we deserve or believe we can achieve, as I said earlier. 
 	Public Identity - How we ideally want to perceive ourselves and therefore how we want others to perceive us. 
 	Victim Identity - The ‘Poor me’, the helpless one. It can give us as strong experience of comfort, the illusion of emotional safety, and connection mainly with our self, and sometimes others, through our suffering, especially if we indulge it heavily.
If you believe you are acceptable and somewhat valuable as you are, you Will function through Core Identity. If you believe you are okay but need to change to become acceptable, you will function more through Public Identity. If you believe you are unacceptable, you will function mainly through victim identity, and will attempt to get emotionally safe by creating your own suffering, usually over your self. So basically, you are acceptable, you become acceptable or pretend to be, or you get safe.
Public id and Victim id are both programs constructed by the thinking mind to meet its needs. Both are inherently fake and the mind knows this, so both are inherently defensive and afraid of being exposed, and therefore both adopt mainly defensive approaches. Anything achieved through public or victim identity is considered false and fake by the thinking mind. So if you function predominantly through either of these identities, you will always feel like some kind of a fraud. 
Both generate fear as both are fear based programs. Both use exaggeration in their perception process. The public identity and victim identity have their basis in the primal mind. Victim identity = internal and therefore external safety through self generated suffering (who can cause you to feel worse than you can cause your self to feel, giving the illusion of control and safety), and internal public identity = Desired or Ideal self image and external projection of, and striving for, that desired self.
The identity you spend most of your time in, totally depends on how much you actually like and accept your self, or how much you want to be or be perceived as different from how you truly perceive your self to be. I will go into public and victim identities in detail shortly, and I have already covered core identity in a previous section. Just be aware that we can quickly shift backwards and forwards between these identities (using, and by being directed by, personalities), depending on what situations we are in. Each identity also has multiple personalities (states) that it uses, and that support it. When we are  quite young, depending on the level of awareness of the significant people around us, and how we are treated, we start to build up a perception of ourselves, based on how we experience what we believe to be other people’s perceptions of us. For too many of us, this process leads to a perception of ourselves not being worth very much, if anything at all. If most of the things we do to try to gain approval or love, or avoid rejection, do not work, then we are far more likely to create, and be drawn to becoming our illusion of an desired self. And try to pretend to be different, in ways that we have picked up and assume that we should be like, in order to gain approval or avoid disapproval. Alternatively, we might just say, “What’s the point of trying?” and give up. Consequently, we not only feel helpless; we can become helpless as well. This is called learned helplessness. We may use statements like “I’m not good enough” or “I just can’t do this or that” or “I’ll just fail” etc. Do you ever hear your self making dispirited statements like these to your self or others? If you do, then you have a level of learned helplessness in your conditioning that you must be consciously mindful of from now on. The victim identity and the core identity can be almost the same in people who have a very low perception of their self-worth. In other words, the victim identity feeds off and feeds the core identity’s perception of its perceived lack of value.
How they train elephants is a great example of how learned helplessness can work. When the elephants are young, they are chained to a peg sunk deep into the ground. A young elephant will fight for days trying to escape. Eventually, it will decide that the effort is pointless and there is no way out. It gives in and accepts its perceived helplessness as final. Once this happens, all that is required to restrain the elephant from then on, is a chain placed around its neck. It no longer needs to be pegged into the ground. It has learned to be helpless when it is in this situation, because at some point it convinced itself that there was no point, and it accepts its helplessness as permanent. The same process also happens with humans, just with different dynamics. Our chains are our self-limiting beliefs and low expectations of our self. When we are young, once we identify with any sense of helplessness in any situation or interaction, the victim identity associates with it. From then on, we are likely to approach life as a fully or partially helpless victim in similar situations or interactions, with the self and others. Suffering becomes a way of connecting with our self and with others. We all have a thinking need for significance, a need to be different, to stand out, and often the victim gains significance by measuring the significance or intensity of their illness or suffering against that of others, and also those they perceive as healthy, if that helps them suffer more.
If there is a higher level of awareness around us when we are young, the effect on self-esteem is not as severe. If you are treated reasonably well, but still not well enough to have true self-acceptance, you tend to seek approval from those around you by becoming more like how you think they want you to be. You find that certain behaviours, attitudes and approaches gain approval from others, and others do not. These are known as Conditions of Worth. As soon as you realise that acting in a certain way brings you results, you strengthen your public identity desired self image in that area, and your attachment to it. You start to work out what sort of person you need to be to be accepted, or at least acceptable — not only to others, but also to your self. 
Pretending to be a certain way (like your desired self), allows you to hide how you really perceive and believe your self to be… which internally is often considered partly or wholly unacceptable to others, and to you. If someone has a very poor opinion of themselves, the only apparently valid route to feeling good is through pretending to be different from how they perceive themselves to be, more like their desired or ideal self image. They become accustomed to looking for public approval using public identity. I believe that the dissatisfaction most people experience in their lives comes about because of the gap or disparity between public identity desired self image, and core identity, self image. Real self image and desired self image.
Depending on the size of the gap between how you want to perceive your self to be (desired self image), and how you do perceive your self to be (how you think you are), you will feel different emotions about your self. If the gap is small, you may just experience regular disappointment with or over your self. If the gap is bigger, you may experience a sense of self-dislike. If it is wider, you may experience a level of self-disgust. If it is more extreme, you’ll probably experience self-hatred, or self-loathing. This level of negative emotion over the self is normally the realm of victim identity. Disgust is the language of hatred. The size of the gap also dictates the level of low self-acceptance. The discrepancy between the two also adds to the sense of separation from creation caused by the thinking mind, supporting the illusion of self. We are separated from our connection to universal awareness only by the thinking minds concept of an individual self, and therefore its belief that it is a solitary entity. It can only serve to increase suffering; it certainly won’t decrease it. 
Most external goals are either an attempt to distract your mind from experiencing your concept of self, or an attempt to lessen the pain of the disparity between the internal public identity desired self image, and the core identity self image. Your constructed identities, public identity, and victim identity, need enemies to focus on or blame. When you have a sense that you have enemies of any kind, you’re usually functioning through public or victim identity. 
Some people have more than these three identities, depending on how hard they are trying to escape themselves. Even though I am no doctor, I consider these people to have what is commonly known as schizophrenia, which to me is someone functioning through multiple disassociated public identities. I believe that when someone has a strength of negative emotion about themselves, due to bad or dysfunctional beliefs about themselves, and the victim identity does not offer them enough comfort or safety, they associate heavily with the public identity in an attempt to disassociate from how they see their self to be. They may actually find small, brief respites from internal suffering whilst pretending to be different, or someone else, which confirms to the thinking mind that this is the right strategy. However, they never completely escape the underlying sense of self-dislike or self-hatred. If they continue to suffer over their concept of self (themselves), the obvious solution to the thinking mind is that a different identity and approach must be required. It will usually be another public identity, as the victim identity will have been tried first and shown to give insufficient comfort or safety. We only have one victim identity (although it has many personalities associated with it), whereas we can have multiple public identity versions of a desired or ideal self. 
The same process can happen again and again until multiple public identities have been created. This person can move through these identities, trying to avoid experiencing their self-hatred. These identities can be so strong that physical changes (even changes in eye colour) can occur. This ability to metamorphosise will give you an indication of how powerful the thinking mind truly is — it has the ability to directly effect the body and give you what you expect to get, even to the point of changing your biochemistry to do so. 

The mind can go into a closed loop trap with victim-hood and public identity, as shown above. Anger triggers you from victim identity to public identity to strive to change, but when the public identity fails to make you happy, sadness, disappointment, or even depression will follow, activating the victim identity, or one of its personalities. Then when you get sick of being depressed, you become angry and often that will be the fuel that restarts the process of trying to be, or be perceived, as different.
I find it very interesting that only humans seem to have any attachment to identity. Every other creature is just what it is. It does not suffer over itself or ‘about’ what it is, or try to be anything else. No animal has a hard time working out how to be that animal (like humans do). A horse won’t look at other horses to see how to be acceptable, or how to be perceived as the best, or at least not the worst. It lives completely in the moment, just as it is, with total acceptance. It may work out how it fits in with the pecking order of the group, but that is programming at the operating-system- primal mind level. This is based on survival of the fittest and the hierarchy of the pack mentality, not fear of public judgement. I do not believe any creatures other than humans want to live anywhere but in the present. I believe there is a lot we can learn from them, and probably little they can learn from our thinking processes. Animals are happier than we are in general, because they have no concept of a self. I think that says it all. You will never have any peace in your life if you feed either of your constructed identities. Accept your self as you are. Do not try to force your self to be any other way, and you will have the opportunity to be truly happy. Now I will go into more detail about each of these two identities so you are totally clear about them, and so you will be able to decide if you still want to continue to indulge in either any longer.

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The Ideal Self – Ideal Identity

	The ‘Ideal Self, as I call it   

The desired self image is based on all the information you have accumulated over your life about what is acceptable or celebrated: how others want you to act or not; what is judged or perceived as being inadequate or inferior, and what will cause you to be perceived as inadequate, inferior, acceptable, or even celebrated. 

Desired self - ideal self - Perfect self 

Using the comparison of the ideal self, your true self has accumulated a list of all the things you think you have done wrong and this gives the illusion of feeling broken, damaged or unacceptable in some way. It is stored in your memory overview and is used as part of the way to define that self in the present and the future.
The image of the ideal self also holds a version of what you need to look like and what your body should be like.

Having a concept of an ideal or acceptable self and trying to live up to it will cause you suffering. Even if the is perceived to be a higher level version of self i.e. a spiritual self, by having it you will try to live up to it so you feel better about your self, and you will suffer and always have some level of fear.

The ideal self causes the mind to create an inflated or even dishonest version of how it is so that it can feel more adequate or acceptable, so you inflict less criticism and violence upon yourself.

The thinking mind lives in a continuous drama created over the concept of the self, which is innately perceived as damaged or unacceptable in some way, which means you perceive yourself is broken or unacceptable in some way or another. Until you consciously recognise this, you will spend the rest of your life trying to become acceptable, and will fail.

Fear of failure - is really fear of self-criticism. Every event, situation or interaction is merely an experience, and an opportunity to learn. Failure and success are psychological measurements based on the concept of the self. Stay with any psychological fear, then feed it, just experienced it, and it will dissipate because it is an illusion and will not be able to survive the attention. It's your avoidance of it that keeps it alive. Facing  fears in this way will bring insights and breakthroughs. If you appear to get them before facing the fears, they are more than likely just the mind giving reasons or justifications for them.

Trying to ignore the self, or change the self, is a process of the self. Simply become intensely aware of your concept of self, and practised true listening to that self, without judgement and disapointment.

The ideal self needs external validation and does so through Public Identities

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The Public Identity

	The ‘public identity’, as I call it, is based on how we want to perceive ourselves, as well as how we want others to perceive us. There is both an internal and an external element to public identity. The internal element is how we want to perceive ourselves — it is basically the internal desired self image we hold of how we should be to be acceptable and ultimately lovable. This internal expectation is then projected onto the outside world in the hope and desire that others will perceive us as acceptable, and ultimately lovable.
All internal judgement that causes you pain is about judging your self as lacking, when compared to the Ideal Self image/desired self. Making judgements and/or finding fault with your self and others, can only come from some form of measurement and comparison, and in this case the comparison for judgement of your self, is the difference between how you perceive your self to be, and how you want that self to be. 
The public identity is always measuring you, interactions and situations to see how it believes it is being perceived by others (its own projections). Anything you do to try to influence others’ perceptions of you is public identity. This is based mainly on how you want to perceive your self, and how you think you should be, and is done in the pursuit of acceptance, which can only come from you anyway. By that I do not mean you can accept your self if others accept you, it must be true self-acceptance. 

The universe or Creation does not duplicate anything, so how can you compare you and others in anyway.

Internally, each of you holds a list of behaviours, attributes and abilities that you believe will allow you to be acceptable if you conform to them. Therefore, your self will have convinced you that you must live up to these criteria to be acceptable, whether you know it or not. If your true nature does not allow you to fulfill these expectations, or if there are other reasons why you can’t fulfill them, or if you can see that they’re not how you truly want to be, you will experience discomfort about your self whilst trying to live up to them, at the very least. Your desired, or ideal self image, also hold a list of attributes, behaviours, habits and perceptions, that you believe will cause you to be perceived as less valuable than, or inferior, to others, or perhaps of no worth at all. Whenever you see your core identity displaying any of these unacceptable (based on public identity rules) characteristics, you will do your best to punish or shame them out of your self, so that you can become more like the image of how you think you ‘should’ be. Self-recrimination causes more discomfort for you, leading to lower self-esteem, self-dislike and perhaps even self-loathing. It will probably be limiting your perceived self-worth right at this very instant. 
I believe that public identity was originally a basic program designed to give us a sense of ourselves within a community, and how we interact with and within that community. You see this communal drive in all walks of life. People are associated with one tribe or another, a sports team, a gang, a particular profession, and many more ways to feel part of a certain group or collective. We therefore need to be able to function well within a group — to be able to take into account the needs and wants of others, just as we inherently want our needs and wants taken into account. Public identity was programmed to help us perceive and evaluate ourselves and others during interactions, to make sure we were not inviting physical threat, or missing an opportunity to exploit weakness in an adversary. We still have pretty much the same operating system that we had when we were cavemen; we are still driven by the same base level (primal mind operating system) urges and influences that kept us alive then, because we still have basically the same base programming. 
You can see the basis of the original public identity program in animals like domestic cats. When they are around other cats, especially when territorial male cats come together, they spend a lot of time posturing to show that they are not scared, that they are willing to fight for their territory. They are projecting to the other that it would be dangerous for the other to engage in combat. All this posturing is really designed to stop them from having to engage in actual combat. They also manage their actions so they don’t display any of the physical injury primal fear they may be experiencing to the other cat. They are very interesting to watch if you want to learn about basic public identity. Human males are especially sensitive to this posturing to avoid or engage in confrontations, as it is hard-wired. It is also used in courtship rituals where the males posture to the females to attract mates and be chosen by them to proliferate the species. These basic public identity programs are still valid, even in our day and age, although the dynamics of our society and environment have changed. So too has our ability to simulate this programming and blow it completely out of proportion.
Unfortunately, in our culture nowadays, public identity has become a destructive part of the thinking mind and concept of self, in my opinion. The public identity became more prevalent in the majority of society (not just in those in positions of awarded power) around the 1600s and the 1700s. With people having to display their position in society so they could be judged as better than others, and not be judged as less than. Society very much used judgement and measurement of superiority and inferiority to evaluate each person’s position in the human ‘tribe’ at that time. I do not believe this process made many people happy. Based on the resulting social hierarchy, only one or two at the top of the scale could feel satisfied and truly significant. Everyone else was left to feel lacking in some way, and fighting for position to feel somehow safe. For most people, the social stigma this engendered was probably very painful, as it is for many now who still believe their self is real. 
As the quality of life for society as a whole began to rise, the obvious divide between the affluent and the poor started to become a little blurred, with clothing and possessions no longer immediate identifiers of position, people were able to start to pretend they were higher up the created hierarchical structure than they actually were, by acting as if they were. The thinking mind carried on imagining itself to be different than it was in order to avoid experiencing feelings of inadequacy and the ensuing discomfort that came from self-criticism (self-abuse). Thus the full desire to be perceived as different by others, and to be perceived as different by ourselves, came fully into existence, and became a full set of programs. I believe that the needs for certainty (safety) and significance (self-value or self-importance) based on fear, are responsible for what public identity has become over the centuries. Unfortunately, these are two of the lowest-level needs of the thinking mind, and therefore the thinking mind is apt to choose low level vehicles to meet these needs. 
If I appear to be focusing on disempowering viewpoints in this section, it is because I want you to appreciate how negative and destructive public identity can be in your life. I am going to be very direct because I think it is one of the many important things you need to get from this book. Being too soft and gentle sometimes does not get the message through, so I will be looking to trigger you into opening your mind and seeing how this might apply to you. Personal success nowadays is predominantly measured by how you think you are perceived by others. People are much too concerned about what others may or may not think of them. They manage themselves and their lives based on gaining approval, or avoiding disapproval, both real and imagined. Your public identity will try to gain approval from people you don’t even know, or perhaps don’t even like in most cases. The public identity is traditionally referred to as your ego, image or persona. I believe it is much bigger and stronger in our society than most people admit. The prevalence of public identity needs to be explored by each one of us, with more awareness of its processes, and exposed for what it is, the cause of probably 95% of the struggle and suffering someone fully associated to the thinking mind will experience. 
The more I contemplate this issue, the more I see its influence over society and how much it is effecting so many peoples’ lives. It is a deadly virus that infects life at this time. In some people, what is normally referred to as the ego, is very mild or apparently non-existent. In others, it is all you can see of them. If a person becomes too closely associated with their public identity, they can become addicted to their own illusion of an desired self image, assuming it to be real, and flaunting it to anyone willing to give it their attention. We all know or see people like this, especially on television. I’m going to go as far as to give this overblown condition a name. I’m going to call it ‘Public Identity Disorder’, as it can become so profound in some people that it can destroy their lives, and take them so far away from what real happiness is, that they may never truly experience it in this lifetime. They will just accept brief satisfaction as enough. If they are in positions of power, their obsession with it can destroy the lives of others as well. The new cult or religion called ‘celebrity’ is a perfect example of the grip public identity has on much of our society, and where it is taking us. 
Whilst I was writing this book, something happened that brought the consequences of this type of disorder starkly into focus. An apparently wealthy man with a great family and enviable possessions killed his wife and children, his animals, and then set his house on fire, killing himself in the process. A friend of mine was disturbed about this event as he had met them on a few occasions, and came to talk to me to see what I thought. At the time, nobody knew what had actually happened. I told him, “Regardless of how he appeared to others, it was possible that things were not the way they ‘seemed’ to be for him. Possibly he was going broke. Since he appeared to have a very polished public identity, maybe he could not live with the thought of it being destroyed. How would people perceive him once his ‘desired image’ was shattered? How would he perceive himself? It’s possible he could not live with the change in perception of himself he would have had to face. 
Perhaps he could also not live with his family perceiving him differently, even after he was dead. Perhaps it mattered immensely to him that they not find out. It is also possible that he thought his family would experience the same pain about their public identity or image being shattered as he would, once his secret perceived shame came out. For whatever reason, he took their lives as well. I do not know the man, so there were probably other things going on as well, but this to me was in essence about public identity, and how important it was to him.” I found out many months later that he had indeed been going broke. His creditors were about to go after his assets and home. Most people around him were apparently surprised to find out about this. He had clearly kept it from everyone, and it’s possible he was unwilling to look at it himself. All I felt for this man was compassion. His childhood and formative years had probably given him the belief that the only way to survive and progress in life, to feel of value, was to pretend to be different than how he perceived his self to be internally, and money and position had helped him feel of value when he perceived his self to have very little true value. 
It doesn’t matter how much money, property, or position you have, if you are totally attached to the thinking mind, and don’t really like your (concept of your) self, or don’t accept and value your self, you will only have discomfort and suffering to look forward to. Wealth just becomes a way to disguise your perceived lack of self-worth, or an attempt to fill the gap created by the lack of true self-acceptance. Most people in the world right now suffer from this condition, one way or another. The symptoms can be seen most obviously as a need for riches, recognition, fame or societal position. There are many reality shows on television at the moment that offer people the opportunity to become famous. So many people, when interviewed to participate, use phrases like “I want to be or become somebody”, presupposing that they are nobody or nothing, unless they have fame or good public opinion to allow them to feel like their self matters. 
People who crave recognition or fame suffer from insecurity in some form, certainly at the beginning of their fame, and probably for the rest of their lives. They either wake up to what fame is, and surrender their attachment to it, or their public identity just gets stronger. If people were brought up believing that they are extremely valuable to Creation as they are. Knowing that there is nothing truly wrong with them, and that they are as valuable as anything or anyone else, they would be happy to just be, and do what they are truly drawn to do. They could be their own hero, rather than needing validation through other people. Instead of trying to live up to how they think they should be, they could simply value how they truly are, and how they were designed to be, an individual physical vehicle, with equal value to every other physical entity.
Virtually all defensiveness around the self arises because of public identity. Defensiveness can arise over measuring what you think is being perceived, against what you want others to perceive. If you measure others, you also expect to have your self measured in the same way. You’ll also assume they are measuring your every word, as you will subconsciously be with them, and you must be continually on the ball or expect to be judged the same as you would judge them, which is only a reflection of how you judge your self. If you are competitive or interactively defensive, you are scared of being judged, either by others, or by your self. The public identity always feels unsafe because it inherently knows it is an illusion. If you are always defensive or afraid of being perceived as wrong, it will always feel like others are trying to make you wrong.
What you are trying to hide, and/or hide from, is just the poor perception you hold of your own core-identity, your perception of self. The behaviours and attitudes you believe will make you acceptable to others are all you really want to see, have seen, and portray — they are what you are defending, as well as what you are hiding. If you or others start seeing what your public identity wants to hide, it becomes scary. The perceived threat of exposure needs to be stopped somehow. You may also become defensive if you perceive that others may be seeing you as ‘wrong’. We learn, especially at school, that being wrong means we are substandard or inadequate somehow, and what you then do to your self can be painful. Depending on your conditioning, being perceived as wrong or incorrect may be too painful to tolerate, based on what you assume others will be thinking of you, which is actually based on what you will be thinking of, and saying to your self, in that moment. Perceiving your self as being wrong just triggers your internal conditioned abuser, and that is really what you are trying to avoid, what you do to your self over any stimulus. That is what actually hurts you, not what you believe others do to you. People are driven to lose their creativity because they are under so much pressure never to make mistakes, or be wrong. Public identity helps to remove your true creativity. When you live through public identity, you’re always living your internal accumulated evidence of what you believe will allow you to be valuable, which is actually your subconscious collection of other peoples perception of how you should be. It’s interesting to recognise that the people trying to get others to conform to how they think they should be, are pretty much all unhappy about having to live through the same expectations they are teaching. Nevertheless, they try to hold themselves and others to these oppressive, and very often unrealistic, expectations and standards, especially their children. 
The biggest challenge of internal public identity is that you’re always measuring your self against how you believe you should be, self against desired self, with the result that you find your self lacking. You become your own abusive parent, constantly trying to fix your self, and force your self into alignment with this illusion of how you believe you should be, or want to be. You'll never have any peace whilst you feed this process of the thinking selves. Yes, sometimes pushing your self to have higher standards is a good thing, but that is just about making different choices in the moment when you can, not using self-abuse to try to accomplish change. It won’t work. However, true self-acceptance, and then the relinquishing of the self altogether, which a strong public identity will not want you to do, would cause your standards to rise anyway. You would treat you and others better as a result of the loss of this internal turmoil. 
Acceptance of who and what you are, with no desire to be someone else, or to be different than you are, is the only approach that will bring you true peace and happiness. If someone tells you a story about an experience that is better than yours, do you approve of them more, or less? It will probably just annoy you. This may help to show you that indulging in public identity and trying to get them to think a certain way about you, because you have a better story, doesn’t work. Become humble and be pleased for others. Pulling them apart in your mind to devalue their story or experience, to make your self feel better, is a low level awareness, and crumbs compared to how you could feel. People try to be perceived as they want to be perceived to avoid their own judgement.
An overt public identity is created when a child starts working out the ‘conditions of worth’ for each significant adult they must interact with. Conditions of worth, as I mentioned earlier, are how you need to behave, and what you need to believe etc. in order to feel or be treated as if you have ‘worth’ to someone. The child realises that one type of behaviour gets them approval and allows them to feel ‘worth’ something, whereas if they display another type of behaviour, they get disapproval, which causes them to feel like they are ‘worth less’ or are of less worth. We find out the beliefs and rules of our significant care-givers so that we can act as if we are the way they want us to be. We want to feel of some worth to them, especially if we do not seem to be good enough to please them and gain approval as we perceive we are. When others have expectations of us that we feel we can’t meet, often because of a lack of self-belief, we end up pretending, outwardly, to be the person we believe they want us to be. 
This false behaviour can start as young as 4 years old. By 7 years old, it has become a normal (default) state of being, which will be practised and improved upon throughout a person’s life. As we grow, we update our internal public identity desired self image to include what society and other significant people in our lives perceive to be acceptable, unless there is a conscious decision made not to do this. When we don’t know how to feel of value to ourselves, we look to others for how to act to feel of value. Unfortunately, many parents give and withdraw love (if it can truly be called that) based on behaviour. So many children learn that the difference between getting love and not getting love is dependent on their behaviour, and how they pretend to be. The reactions they receive to so-called bad behaviours are then incorporated into their identities. For example, the statement “You are a naughty child”, becomes a reason to believe you are actually a naughty person, and that it is not just naughty behaviour. “You are” is an identity statement, and when a significant person in your life says it, it is as powerful as the statement “I am”. Displaying or acting out only ‘acceptable’ behaviours that gain approval is the essence of a public identity. It is not the path to self-acceptance and awakening. It’s just a path to conflict, struggle and torment over your self and your perception of life.
Trying to work out what other people want us to be like, so we can be accepted or acceptable, can often be, and usually is, painful. In fact, when you see teenagers who are extremely angry and don’t seem to care what anybody thinks, wants or needs, it’s usually because they don’t feel acceptable to themselves. They tried so hard to be accepted by becoming what others wanted, yet still failed. Or they had an outstanding sibling that they were compared to constantly, and always found to be the one lacking. So they pretty much said to themselves “Why bother at all?” They probably became very angry at life, everyone else, and especially themselves. The gap between how they thought they should be (desired self), and how they think they are (concept of self), is so great, that they believe there is no point trying. That perhaps they are broken or damaged somehow.
Unfortunately, in trying to become someone they were not to gain approval, they never got to know who they really are, or what they are truly capable of. They possibly felt criticised for whatever they did, and even if they weren't, based on their expectations and focus, this is what they probably would have experienced, and in the end they just gave up trying. Instead, they put their energy and focus into rebelling against everything. Rebellion may have become the only action that brought them any sense of perceived control or safety. These people are in more pain than most, and deserve our understanding, compassion and support. They are not bad people. They are just trying to function and meet the needs of their self, by using non-resourceful behaviour. They do not yet know their true value, no matter what age they may be.
Bad behaviour is really just low awareness about the choices that are available to meet your needs, and are usually the result of how you feel in any given moment. Sometimes it’s just a way to feel significant. Even a bad or low level of significance through bad behaviour is still a sense of significance. Your thinking mind will settle for it, if it thinks it’s the best you can get. When someone finds a more fulfilling behaviour to meet their needs, unless their peer group is too strong to go against (like a gang), they will adopt it and replace the old behaviour. We are always drawn to feeling better. It’s part of the calling of our higher self to feel happy. No matter how you may perceive anyone to be as a person, everyone is doing the best they can at any moment, with the knowledge and experience they have. They will choose better for themselves when they become aware of, and are drawn to make, more uplifting and supportive choices. Behaviour is also based on personality traits (I will explain more about personalities later).
Public identity is needed by people who have a very poor core-identity, self image. They believe they will never be loved if people see them the way that they perceive themselves to be. They believe an alternative is required to survive and avoid rejection or disapproval. We are often influenced by our peers to judge others and find them lacking, in order to feel better about our self. This starts very young and is strongly conditioned, and a hard pattern to break for most. Putting others down is sometimes perceived as the only strategy available, and is an attempt at feeling better by comparison. How can judging someone else self as lacking, in any way, genuinely give you relief from your own discomfort or perceived inadequacy? Honestly? Your public identity is measuring you against others, thus allowing you to feel superior (or them inferior) by comparison.  
Superiority is just an illusion. The thinking mind is always trying to feel successful. That is why it will judge others as less than you, and why it will want to fool you into believing you are superior to others. It actually does this so you don’t feel inferior, because you will be doing so if you indulge in this process. If you are one of those people who want to believe you are superior to others, it is your public identity creating this false assumption. You may get a sense of satisfaction from it in the short term, but it can only hurt you in the long run. If you need to measure your self against anyone to feel superior in any way, it is because your self already feels inferior in some way, and are trying to avoid experiencing it. If you use judgement by comparison to others, you will use it on your self. How can you ever accept your self whilst being critical of others, and putting on an act that indirectly or subconsciously tells you that you are somehow not acceptable, or not as acceptable as you could be? How does that help? 
Gossip is also a powerful reinforcer of the public identity. It is an attempt to influence someone else’s opinion of others in comparison to you. Talking behind someone’s back or gossiping is never going to make you truly happy. You will never truly feel good about it. You’ll probably spend a lot of your time wondering if other people are talking about you behind your back, and what they’re saying. If you focus on what you perceive to be the shortcomings of others, it is because you do so with your self. As long as you live through your public identity, you are telling your self that you are not good enough. Each time you display your public identity instead of who you truly are, you are telling yourself that your own self is not good enough — is broken, damaged, or dysfunctional in some way. This only supports any lack of self-worth and low self-belief. A strong identification with your public identity is a rejection of your true self. 
You will be pretending to be somehow different from who you really are, which is far worse that any rejection you can experience from others. When you reject your self, you are also rejecting the Divine in you. You are with your internal self 24/7, so there is no escape from this kind of rejection. That is why the only actual path to true peace and happiness is through real self-acceptance, and then becoming free of the illusion of a self. I often hear people say they want to get on a plane and go somewhere else to escape their lives. Unfortunately, you can’t escape from the aspects that you must take with you — your internal beliefs and expectations, and your judgement (measurement) system, and how you actually perceive your self. You will just re-create the same quality of living again in a different place. 
Another problem with having a strong public identity — and wanting to be that identity, wanting to believe that who you pretend to be is the true you — is that you’ll protect and defend what you want to believe about your self, as I said earlier. As a result, you will never have the chance to see, experience, and accept who or what you truly are. You will never be able to lose your fear over the perceptions and opinions of others. I can’t imagine a worse trap for any person to be in. Start to see and observe your public identity, that which is normally perceived as the ego. Until true self-acceptance takes the place of self-rejection, you will always be in some form of discomfort, conflict, struggle, torment or suffering. 
Some people have such a strong public identity that they don’t even know it is not real. They live under a strong illusion about themselves, while never being truly happy or at peace. They feel happy only when someone supports or agrees with their public identity’s perception of how they want to be. True happiness and joy comes from self-acceptance, not from what other people think about you. The public identity is created from fear-based thinking and therefore it can only ever feed your feelings of fear about your self and others. Many people who operate very strongly through their public identity are almost completely detached from any true sense of their self. Their dislike for their perceived core self (self image), and their attachment to how they want to perceive themselves (desired self image), undermines their ability to experience high self-esteem. Everything they do is designed to be acceptable, or even envied by others. It does not matter in some cases if it is not acceptable to themselves, because deep down they may believe they do not really matter. To them, it’s only really what others think of them that matters. 
Symptoms of public identity can also include expecting your partner, children, or even your parents to behave in a certain way to avoid the judgement of others. After all, what will people think of 'you' based on the behaviours of those you’re associated with, or who are related to you? Especially those you should have taught or trained to be different according to society or societal norms. This can have a strong bearing on how you bring up your children. You try to mould them into what you want them to be so that they (and by extension, you) can be perceived in a certain way by others. You teach them to adjust their behaviour based on what others might think, thereby creating or strengthening areas of their public identity, and lack of self-worth. Wouldn’t it be better to honour them for how they already are, and accept them for who they are, regardless of your judgments about their behaviour? At least then they would have a chance to learn to fully accept themselves, regardless of what others may think. Then they may have less reason to behave in unsavoury ways. They wouldn’t have to go through life assuming there is something wrong with them because they felt they were not good enough, or not acceptable, when they were young. Yes, parents often believe that they are guiding their child’s perceptions for the child’s own good, and because they truly do care. However, it is the parent’s fear of rejection and judgement that is often driving their actions. They will only really succeed in projecting their fears and judgements, and pass the curse of public identity on to future generations by doing this. 
True strength and confidence come from being totally congruent and comfortable with your self, and having genuine self-belief in that area. This comes from seeing your true value to you, and that comes through self-acceptance, not from projecting an acceptable false persona. The strength to stand up to people is not needed when you have true self-confidence and self-acceptance, as there can be no perceived threat from others’ opinions or judgements when you are totally comfortable with your self. However, if your self-belief is dictated by a comparative measurement against others, someone will always be able to unsettle you, and therefore you will always be fearful. You will always be wide open to disappointment. People do what they do because of who they are, and if occasionally that comes into alignment with your needs, then you are lucky. Most often, it will not. So do not run your life based on this.
Many people want to believe that they are awakened or enlightened because they have studied a lot about it, or because they just want to believe it. Unfortunately, this is usually their public identity acting out their concepts of a desired enlightened self image, so they can feel significant. And also to get people to respond to them as if they were enlightened, or somehow more special than others, or at least not less than. They may also get to hide from their sense of defectiveness, and perhaps hide it from others. Many people have a concept of what they believe enlightenment will be like (being your desired self), and then try to live up to it. This is simply the thinking mind trying to fulfill its need to feel significant. It is not true awakening or enlightenment. Looking spiritual on the outside will not last, as it is just a symptom of bigger self-worth problems. It is an elaborate act by the public identity, which keeps people from truly experiencing what they seek, genuine happiness, peace and joy, through freedom from the very illusion of a self that they are indulging in. 
Unfortunately, this act is pretty obvious to others as an attempt to gain significance. In other words, these people are not even being perceived in the way they think they are; it is just their own illusion. Do you ever see this in others and recognise that they are just pretending or looking for significance? When someone is truly enlightened, there is no desire to influence anyone else’s opinion about them. In fact, these people are rarely recognised as having ascended to a higher level of awareness, because they have no need to display it to others. Unless there is a truly unselfish purpose behind doing so, and they will not be trying to display any form of a desired self. True internal peace through self-acceptance first, and then losing the illusion of self, with no desire to make a show of it, is the only state that will bring lasting happiness and peace. 
We don’t like people who pretend, unless they are in a movie or a play, or unless one person is meeting the others needs with that pretence. Many people become actors because they like pretending to be someone else. Acting is what public identity is all about, pretending to be different to how you actually are, to influence the perceptions of others about how, or who, you really are. Acting allows them to escape into another identity or different personalities from time to time, to be someone else for a while. Performing perhaps allows them to act in a way they would not allow themselves to act outside of this character. If acting is done to escape the self, it is an unhealthy indulgence in public identity. If done purely for fun and entertainment, however, it can be a healthy outlet for expression; but often people don’t know the difference, and they will usually want to believe it is for the higher reasons. The opportunity to display more confidence than usual can help someone become more relaxed about being their true self, as long as that is their outcome. The key is to take on board the good feelings while recognising that they do not originate in this other character, but because they are available in you. Practising experiencing these feelings when you are just being your self, will help to raise your self-worth and self-belief to a higher level.
Public identity is also about getting and achieving. When you get or have something, public identity believes you will be perceived in a certain way as a result. Meanwhile, what really matters is how you perceive your self, not how others perceive you. Can you be happy or at peace with your self without that amount of money, those possessions, your looks, physique, those particular friends, that position, name or reputation? If not, you’re trapped. If you honestly can, however, you are free. A lot of people can’t even imagine what would happen if those things were taken from them. Be totally honest with yourself and imagine losing it all. What would happen if you were left with nothing but your self to offer, or be evaluated by? How would you feel, honestly? You can also recognise public identity at work when you need to make excuses about why any of your life’s conditions, no matter how small or insignificant, do not match how you wish to be perceived. This is just defending your public identity instead of recognising that there is something out of balance. Public identity attempts to hide from others the things you’re judging your self about, in the hope that other people will not judge you the same way, and will not punish you or think about you in the same way that you are already punishing or thinking about your self.
People often wonder why drinking (at least the first couple of drinks) allows them to feel more confident or comfortable with themselves. The answer is that alcohol subdues and quietens the part of the thinking mind that cares what others think. The internal voice of judgement becomes quieter. It takes perhaps two or three drinks to reach a point where people can actually feel more comfortable and confident about themselves. You need to know that when you have true self-acceptance and freedom from your negative thinking, you can feel like this all the time, not just during your first couple of drinks. Drinking seems to quieten the voice of constant comparison that the thinking mind is making, and that it also believes others are making. Unfortunately, after the initial feeling of confidence, the alcohol starts to affect the rest of your judgements. You also lose your ability to reason based on your usual standards, and once that has gone, you may find your self doing things you would not do under normal circumstances. The next day, you quite often have to deal with a high level of self-disgust, self-dislike or discomfort, even if you don’t experience it that way consciously. This behaviour is added to your perceived  level or lack of self-worth, and a night of drinking or drug-taking can amplify what you already don’t like about your self. 
Give up this drug altogether and learn to have true peace and confidence through self-acceptance. Yes, alcohol is a drug, and whilst you indulge in any drugs, you may find that you dislike your self just a little bit more each time you indulge. As a result, you turn even more to the public identity, or victim identity, for perceived salvation. Then maybe turn even more towards your drug of choice for moments of perceived peace, which cannot work long term. Some may even turn to stronger drugs thinking that might help them find a way to escape or feel better about themselves, or they just need to escape their self-dislike. Drugs that induce an emotional ‘high’ also bring with them a stronger emotional down state, or ‘low’. Lows can (and usually do) compound over time, lower your self-esteem, and do further damage to your self-image, self-worth and self-belief. 
By making moment by moment conscious choices not to function through public identity, and moving away from the voice of judgement by directing the mind to higher thinking approaches, and self-acceptance, you can become happy without the need for any chemicals or any need to escape the self. 
Have you ever wanted to dance and decided not to because of what people might think of you? Even in the privacy of your own home, with nobody else present? Did your inner voice of judgement tell you that it would judge you if you did? That is your public identity controlling and judging you as if others were watching. If you indulge in public identity, you no longer need others watching in order to suffer what feels like external judgement. How much fun is that, really? Public identity creates the feeling of an internal public audience that can cause you to feel embarrassed even when you’re on your own. It’s like having someone watching you all the time, ready to tell you off and point out your perceived failings, which is what you are doing anyway. When you judge externally, it is only a reflection of your internal judgement system. Public identity always feels vulnerable, so it is always in defence mode. How do you feel when someone perceives you to be wrong, or catches you making what is perceived to be a mistake, either privately or publicly? Do you become embarrassed, or even angry? 
Losing your voice of judgement is the way to salvation. The creation of a friendly voice of reason to challenge my inner voice of judgement when it speaks, and seeing self-criticism for what it really is, gave me a quality of life and a level of peace that at one time I couldn’t have imagined was possible. I speak from experience, as I have done throughout this book, not just because it’s an idea or concept that sounds good. 
There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling good about what you do, or with whom you associate. At the same time, there is no need to tell others about those things unless you are looking for some kind of response or reaction. Constantly telling others about the things that allow you to feel important, the place you work, the people you associate with, your connections, what you’ve done in the past or recently and so on, is no more than an attempt to elicit what you imagine to be envy, respect or jealousy, and so that you can fantasise that they are impressed by you. For one thing this is an illusion because nowadays very few people are ever impressed. For another, you’re only trying to get something from them because you can’t give that support or approval to your self. 
A lot of people think that telling people who they associate with, people who are considered important, or people they tell exaggerated stories about, will cause them to be uplifted in the other person’s eyes. When was the last time someone managed to do that with you? If you watch people doing this in their interactions, you will see that neither really believes the other. No one is impressed. In fact, often the opposite occurs and they feel annoyance or contempt at the posturing, and then do similar in the hope that they don’t get perceived as inadequate. They both innately know the other is just trying to impress them, because they often do it themselves. You are fooling your self into believing that others are impressed by you, when actually if you're honest, you're not impressed by them when they do the same. It’s ludicrous to assume that it will work with them when it doesn’t work with you. People very rarely perceive you in the way you are expecting to be perceived, so why indulge these illusions at all?
Showing off is a symptom of public identity. People do it to achieve some level of public perception, even though they are always open to the opposite happening, and can end up looking foolish. If you show off, you also risk looking foolish, and therefore you risk experiencing turmoil through your need to show off. If you enjoy fame or importance, then you are driven by other people’s opinion of you. Therefore, so-called ‘bad press’, or negative opinion, will affect you, actually much more than the fame or good press ever will. By needing and courting fame, you feed your fear of not being enough, which is actually what you are trying to escape. When you court fame, you expose your self to criticism and rejection. If you indulge in fame, you will suffer, at the very least, from coming face to face with your insecurities. People who associate with you because of your power, money or fame, will not be friends of yours; they will be friends to the power, money or fame. If your power, money or fame disappeared, so would those so-called friends. If any friends were left, then you would know who your true friends really were, and they would probably be friends because they liked you as a person. 
As long as you have your power, money or fame, you will never really know who your true friends are. Unfortunately, as people become famous, they usually leave their true friends behind, the ones who like them for themselves, deeming them to be ‘unacceptable’ to their new public-identity peer group. As a result, public-identity life can become very lonely and full of fear. Do you have followers or a group of people that you perceive to look up to you? How would you feel if tomorrow all your perceived followers told you that they had found someone more aware, or better than you, and that they had realised you are not as advanced as they thought, and they left you? Be honest. Would you be annoyed or even feel rejected, or worse? Such feelings will indicate if your attachment is through public identity. As I keep saying, the only true answer is surrendering attachments and genuine self-acceptance, leading to the dissolving of the concept of a self.
If you have a different level of internal comfort when you’re around certain people, this can indicate a public-identity issue and a lack of self-belief. Wanting to talk about the same subject all the time with people because you consciously or subconsciously believe it is your area of expertise, and that they may be impressed by you, or it is the only way you can feel equal or superior to others, is public identity. Or looking for new people to strike up the same conversations. This has nothing to do with a desire to serve others. It has more to do with trying to influence their perception of you, impress them, or to feel equal or superior. Whatever the motivation, it is purely a desire to serve your own public identity’s selfish needs, and to gain self-validation through connection. 
Many therapists have a strong public identity, which in many cases can come across as arrogance. A friend of mine calls it the Therapists’ Ego: “I’ll tell you what you are thinking, and if you disagree, you are in denial”, or “I know what is best for you, you don't.” Arrogance is something to be very wary of, and is just the public identity simulating self-belief. Self-belief based on public identity is just arrogance. It is one of the most delusional and disempowering faces of public identity because arrogance is also believing that your 'self' is better than someone else's self. Arrogance is often displayed when someone is pointing out how their own public desired self image is better than another person’s, or a display of their perceived superiority. Arrogance is really just an attempt to get people to perceive you through your imaginary view of your own fake perception of self-worth, or an attempt to feel better about your self, and is a symptom of believing in the illusion that their is a self to measure. The level of a person's arrogance really shows up how they have talked themselves into feeling good about themselves, based on public identity illusion of an desired self. It is an attempt to convince your self and others that you are of value. Any good feelings you get from living through public identity are crumbs compared to how you can feel when you have true self-acceptance, and then freedom from that self altogether, believe me. 

It’s what you learn when you think you know it all that can take you to the next level of awareness.	

When you are truly internally honest, about your true perception of your self, miracles happen in your life. There was a doctor in India who was the best at what he did. During a big operation he began to encounter serious complications. He felt extreme concern, and thought his feelings were arising for the sake of the person’s family. He knew that if he didn’t manage to solve the problems he was having, the person would die. He could not find a solution and was starting to panic because of it. He suddenly realised that all he was really worried about was failing, which would cause his perceived fame and reputation to come into jeopardy. At that moment, he started to let go of his attachment to how he might be perceived by others. A few seconds after his breakthrough realisation, he got the solution to the problem. The answer came to him because he had been truly honest with himself, about himself, and Universal Influence rewarded him with the answer. When you truly have no response or attachment to fame and criticism, you are free to just be — and universal influence will support you. 
If someone insults you, don’t accept it. I do not mean insult them back — just do not internalise it or interact with their comment; choose not to hear it. If someone brought you an orange and you did not accept it when they presented it to you — i.e. you did not reach out and connect with it — what would they have to do with it? They would have to keep hold of it, wouldn’t they? They would have to keep the energy of it, because you did not take it from them. Likewise, if you are insulted or judged, do not accept the energy from them unless you want to make it your own. Have no reaction, so they must keep the energy of the insult or judgement for themselves. Regardless of what others think, all that matters in any moment (whilst you still believe there is a self) is how you feel about your self, and that should not be based on meeting your internal image of how you think you should be. What someone else sees in you is what they see. It defines their perception; it does not define you, unless part of you agrees with them. If, in any moment, you attempt to defend your self against another person’s opinion of you, or try to influence another person’s perception of you, you will suffer in some way. Your thinking mind desires to keep hold of how you think you should be, rather than happily accepting your self as it is. 
Public identity will tell you that only people who are acknowledged by others are of value or worth something, and that only external forms of measurement can be used to define your self. It will use pretending to bring you satisfaction, like spending sprees that allow you to pretend that you are affluent. It is really an attempt at escaping from your perceived lack of value. 
Some people used their low perception of value as a public identity. They get in your face to show you that they don't care what you think. This is just a pro-active way to feel safe, and they really do care. If someone is a critical person, they will judge you harshly. If they are not, they wont. How they think, defines them (their self), not you (your self). Being concerned about what others may think will just cause you discomfort at the very least. If you are trying to convince anyone about something to do with your self, without them specifically asking, that's public identity. 
If any of the statements above upset you, then look for the truth in them for you. Recognise the judgements and dialogues within your self because this is really the only reason they could upset you.

The mind also assumes others are measuring it in the same way is measuring itself, so you assume others are measuring you in the same way you are, in both the perception of good and bad.

Public identities are partly created to help us inflict less violence on ourselves internally by helping us pretend that we are more like how we think we should be (ideal self).

Active & passive thinking. Conscious and subconscious choice making. above thought-below thought. Consciousness at a high enough level is just awareness, and there is no thought involved, only the experience of whatever is being experienced. If people cannot rise above thoughts, they will often tried to drop below them by causing the mind to be less active using drugs, alcohol etc, and even sex. Others can even try to use loud music to mute the sound of their own self punishing thoughts.

We can have many public identities depending on how public our lives are, and how complex are external world is or at least seems to be.

Pretend affluence.

PI = self promotion

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The Victim Identity

The third of our three main identities is the victim identity, the most personally destructive of the constructed identities. If you define your self by your struggles and suffering, then you indulge in victim-hood. If identified with intensely, it is worse than public identity. However, it affects only some people heavily, whereas public identity affects almost all people, especially in the so-called civilised world. Before I go into too much detail about the victim identity, I am going to tell you a bit about my own experience with my now-redundant victim identity. It is important to realise that this identity could be active in you. It can suck the life out of your experiences, and cause any experience to feel bad, or at the very least, not as good as it could feel.
About 10 years after the attempted suicide I told you about, I had still not really escaped my victim identity, and did not realise it, because at the time I hadn’t recognised that it was a separate identity. One day, I was talking to a friend over the phone and whining about a recent break-up, and what it meant to me, or about me - how I perceived that it defined my lack of personal value. As I was wallowing in the misery of it all, she suddenly said, “You take yourself very seriously, don’t you?” I cannot really do justice to what happened next. It was the culmination of all the work I had done with my self up to that point. In that instant, I looked directly into or at my self. I left my body, or rather, “one of me” left my body, which is the best way I can describe it. 
I suddenly came face to face with the one of me, or the part of me I will call ‘the sufferer’, or ‘poor me’. In that moment, I realised that contrary to what I wanted to believe, part of me actually enjoyed feeling bad. Before that time, I would have said that all I wanted was to be happy and that something was stopping me, usually blaming situations, other people or my past. However, I realised right then that a big part of me, actually worked hard to feel bad. He felt much safer being unhappy because he had nothing to lose emotionally in that state. Who could take that away from me? It also met all of my evolutionary needs. Massive certainty that I could be safe (so my primal needs had been met); deep connection with my self through self-pity; high self-importance because my suffering was so significant and intense; and pleasure through low level satisfaction because all my other needs were being met. It was a homely feeling, so well known it was comforting and safe.
An unbelievable burst of energy ran through me, and in that moment the realisation set in. I burst out crying and smiling at the same time, and my whole sense of my self changed in that moment. I thanked my friend profusely for what she had done, even though she really did not realise or understand it. The things we learn from people are rarely what they wanted or expected us to learn from them, or what they are trying to teach. Each learning is simply about what we are ready to learn at the time. We never truly know what is going to trigger a learning experience. To say I could not stop smiling for weeks after that experience would be a complete understatement. My smile must have been two inches wider than it had ever been before. My face hurt for weeks, but I really didn’t care. 
That night I took a walk at a local nature reserve and spent about two hours just looking up at the moon. I could not believe how different it looked that night. It was as if it suddenly looked round, full, three-dimensional. It had depth and colour for the first time, unlike before, when it had looked almost like a flat picture. After that experience, I spent several months not quite feeling like I was in this body properly. When I finally ‘landed’, about three months later, I had a different outlook on life and my self. I actually started allowing my self to be more genuinely happy for the first time in my entire life. Whenever this “hurt” identity came forward and started to try to feel self-pity (which is one of the main vehicles used by victim identity), I observed it and took action to direct my thinking away from what it wanted to focus on. I would instead give my full attention to something else that would allow me to feel good. It therefore interfered with, and then virtually stopped the running of, the programs that had been developed and conditioned into me over the years, by my thinking mind, which had designed and supported my victim identity. I did this whenever I had awareness of them running or starting to run. It takes awareness and committed practice, but if you want to feel genuinely good, it is absolutely possible right now.
The thinking mind creates many supporting programs to help us get to the place each identity wants us to live. It can take some time to train the mind to override and decommission them, and replace them with other, more supportive programs, so that they are no longer an issue. It is certainly possible. I am proof of that. For years I had worked to cultivate a separate, optimistic voice of supportive reasoning to try to help me feel better. Without me even realising it, the internal victim was still controlling me. Now this voice of higher reasoning I had cultivated over the years, came out in force to support me, and all my previous attention to its cultivation paid off in spades. I continued to override the disempowering programs by redirecting my thinking whenever they came up, and trained and conditioned my mind to redirect to better thinking. I learned to ask better questions, describe whatever had my attention in a way that allowed me to feel good, make only optimistic and uplifting comments, and tell my self and others only empowering stories whenever I could. These overpowered the negative internal victim voice in an uplifting, supportive way.
It was through this victim identity that I came close to committing suicide. The awakening experience I just described allowed me to decide if I wanted to continue functioning through this identity or not. Obviously a true awareness of it was required before I could have a choice in the matter. I chose not to indulge it any longer! My choice allowed me to realise that so many times in my life, I had generated my own version of hell on earth, whilst blaming it on many other things. The difference was profound – like the difference between emotional night and day. The experience gave me insights into how the victim identity and its personalities function. As a result, I’ve been able to help many people choose not to live their life through this identity, and have helped to turn many people away from suicide or self-destruction. Accessing the victim identity, even occasionally, and running the personalities (states) that support it (e.g. feeling sorry for yourself, etc.) is disempowering. It should never be used at all, if possible. 
Now I will do what I can to help you recognise any victim-identity traits that are affecting you. Otherwise, it will interfere with your life in a disempowering way whenever it can, guaranteed. Do not dismiss this section too quickly. A lot of what I discuss below is an extreme example of the processes of the victim to help those who suffer with it heavily to trust that I have experienced it. You do not have to be experiencing these states to their extremes to be affected by your own internal victim. If you can identify any part of your behaviour in this section, decide whether you want to continue feeding it. Doing so will only serve to slow you down or stop you in any pursuit you have. This internal victim will cause you discomfort at the very least, and possibly huge suffering. 
Do you let your pain, suffering and negative perceptions of your past define you? Do you experience any sense of self-dislike or even self-disappointment at any time? I consider the victim identity to be your Historical Emotional Residue – the Pain Memory or Suffering Memory. In other words, your internal victim has absorbed and identified with all the suffering and perceived suffering in your life; in fact it’s one of the things that will have caused most of that suffering. The victim can be indulged in small ways, like occasionally feeling sorry for yourself or feeling that things are sometimes against you. It can also be indulged in major ways, to the point where you feel everything including God is against you and you are worthless. 
Whether you have a big or small victim identity, this section should give you an idea of what to watch out for and the cost of indulging it. The extreme victim indulges in being alone and separate. It believes, or wants to believe, and wants to fool you into believing, that you are somehow broken or are being punished by Creation, so that you only rely on your thinking mind and nothing else. When we live through this identity, we have a very poor quality of life, because we take away from ourselves everything we perceive others may be able to take from us. Some people have a very mild victim identity, which rarely shows up. Others can have a victim identity that is so strong it overpowers everything in their lives. We all know or have known someone like this — someone who spends the day looking for reasons to be offended or upset, so that they can feel bad or experience self-pity. Blaming anybody and anything for their state, especially the people around them, the situations that appear to be forced on them, their perceived past, or the people in it. 
These people always have one or more adversaries or enemies, usually multiple. True victims see virtually everyone as some form of aggressor or perpetrator.They are often very dramatic and exaggerate stories of events, situations and interactions, to make them sound more important or more significant than they were, or are. When something goes wrong, as they perceive it, or they are faced with a challenge, they launch into complaining and victim dialogue: “Why is this happening to me? It always happens to me. What did I do to deserve this?” They may even declare, “Look, God hates me” or “I hate myself” or “I don’t deserve anything good.” This kind of approach is actually a very seductive way to be, if you don’t believe you deserve to feel good, and you will therefore be happy to go for emotional safety instead. 

Complaining justifies attachment and gives a sense of self validation or self-importance and can be used in comparison to someone or something else.

People with a very strong victim identity can get a feeling of comfort and safety from being a victim of their own self-abuse, although they are subconsciously conditioned to blame it on others (or the external world) as most people are. They can be victimised when they are alone in an empty room, because they victimise themselves, so they can definitely get 'certainty' from this behaviour, the strongest need of the thinking mind. It can actually be perceived as a very safe way to feel, as it allows them to perceive themselves as being in control of their suffering. Think about it. Who can take ‘this’ away from you? It is a low-level form of thinking and carries a very low vibration. It can be a very painful place to live, I know. However, if you think it’s all you deserve, then you may choose to make it your experience of life, because it gives you comfort and a false sense of safety. Even though you don’t truly feel safe, it is as close as the thinking mind can perceive as safe, because in this state there is very little to lose emotionally.
The victim identity adopted strategies during what it considered to be dangerous times in its life which it believes helped it survive. However, when we leave the environment where we needed those strategies to survive as youngsters, we should also leave the need for those strategies behind. We should step out and develop new strategies to function within the new world we are about to experience. Unfortunately, this process doesn’t usually happen. Sadly, we often continue to function as if we are still in the old environment. We try to navigate around the new world with our old ‘map’, even though its old strategies no longer fit the new environment we are living in. It’s the old metaphor of trying to find your way around London with a map of Manchester. It cannot work in a functional way. Yes, you might occasionally find that the strategy you’re using fits, but a big percentage of the time it wont and will just cause confusion and discomfort at the very least. Nevertheless, the thinking mind holds onto the small percentage of times that it worked as proof that it’s a valid strategy. Even if it now only works occasionally, it will always be kept filed away by the thinking mind as a valid strategy, and used whenever a better strategy to meet all your needs is not available. 
The kind of victim I am referring to in this section is actually someone who has become a victim of their own self-dislike and self-abuse, which can also create and attract victimisation from others. The victim internalises their bullying. A perpetrator, on the other hand, externalises their bully and bullies others in an attempt to ease their own suffering, by punishing others for how they feel internally. A victim blames self before others, but believes they blame others. Victims go for internal control through generated suffering, whereas bullies go for perceived external control. Both processes are really very similar. Victims can often become perpetrators out of a need to control at least someone, or because they feel the need to punish someone else for their own suffering, or because their low level reasoning tells them doing so will ease their suffering a little. Unfortunately, these strategies just cause more suffering by causing them to feel even worse about themselves. 
The victim identity lives in the past much of the time. It will use perceived past to evaluate the present and future. It holds on to the suffering it perceived in the past and uses it as a way to continue suffering in the present. This way, all current and future failings can be blamed on the past, which usually has something to do with blaming someone, either others or your self. “How can I do this or that, when this or that happened, or was done to me, in the past?” The ultimate seduction of the victim identity is that it creates a place where you have nothing to lose, self-pity, and a feeling of strong significance and deep connection with the self through the suffering this creates. There is nothing left for anybody to take from you, and the illusion is that nobody can make you feel worse than you already do. The ultimate sense of thinking certainty! If anyone says or does something that might help you to feel worse, you sometimes feel somehow glad. Their action is actually helping you get to the place you feel safest: self-pity, even if you hate them for it. Total immersion in self-pity is a way of feeling a sense of safety and connecting with yourself through pain. Hate can give the perception of an empty life meaning, even if it is self-hate.

Self-pity binds you to it, and blinds you to the happiness available to you in every moment. It creates the pain you are ultimately trying to escape.	

Victim-hood often includes giving up on your self, which leads to you only trying to meet your bases level needs; Certainty, Connection (with the self through self-pity), Survival and Comfort. Which means you will associate to the things that make them up like attempted control, food, sex (procreation or masturbation), minimum effort. It’s often fairly easy to identify people in society that have given up on themselves, and are just trying to meet their basest level needs the best way they can.
A strong victim identity can be carried over from the previous incarnation, or brought on during gestation and birth, or it can begin in very early childhood. It is the first created identity and has to be present in very early childhood to be strong during life. You cannot learn victim-hood (self-dislike and self-hatred) later in life, it is something you start out with, or become associated to very early. 
I believe we have an underlying feeling that we should be cared for and taken care of, at least when we are young, emotionally as well as physically. When that doesn't happen in the way that we think it should, we start to do things to try to elicit that caring, like getting people to feel sorry for us. This can easily become seductive because of how comforting self-pity can be. If your nature/character is to give up, and you don't feel of value, you will go to victim identity and meet all your needs with your own suffering, using self-pity as your vehicle, and your drug. 
You can become chemically addicted to self-pity because the brain releases a substance that can give you comfort during self-pity, so you can literally become addicted to self-pity. Someone addicted to self-pity is the same as somebody addicted to smoking, alcohol or even heroin. It's partly a chemical addiction. This can be broken in the same way as any addiction. Consciously choosing in every moment not to indulge the addiction, or the patterns that support it or bring it on.
You can be a victim of a crime, but victim-hood is a way you treat your self, not a way you are treated. Although that is certainly attracted by those who indulge victim-hood, and may have had something to do with how you are treated physically when you are very young, up to one and a half years old. Before we can even start thinking, we are aware of how we feel, and we can feel a sense of a lack of value just by being left to cry when our primal operating system tells us we need something to help us survive, and it doesn’t come straight away. If we can over from the previous incarnation with a propensity to be a victim, because we indulged in victim-hood in our previous life, victim-hood is very easy for us to associate to. If the child suffered what it believes to be a lack of love, or perhaps persecution or abandonment, it may perceive itself as being broken, damaged, unlovable, worthless or unwanted. 
The primal and low level thinking mind moves soley towards a place of safety in order to comfortably survive. Then, at some point, it decides that the only way to feel safe (which it associates with feeling good, if that is the best you can expect to feel), is to feel bad before anybody else can make you feel that way. Therefore, at the bare minimum, you can be in control of your emotional pain. You can take everything from your self before anyone else can, and therefore you can have the perception that you are at least in control of your suffering. The more self-inflicted victim-hood a person has experienced, the more self-destructive they tend to be.
Remember that the thinking mind is designed to be basically a pain-avoidance mechanism. If it associates pain with feeling good or happy, and less pain (pleasure) with feeling sad or depressed, or whatever emotions it associates with feeling emotionally safe, it will automatically go in that direction. Fear is designed to deter you from physical threat, and because of the thinking and imagining loop, this has grown to cover deterring you from anything the mind associates pain to, including emotionally, real or imagined. 
The domain of the victim identity can be perceived as the safest place from which to function. I lived there for a big part of my life, and now I believe that the strategies it uses are verging on insanity, although it sees them as logical. Creating your own pain consistently so that no one else can be perceived to cause it occasionally, is just ludicrous to me now. However, I couldn’t see that at the time and can truly empathise with others who have that challenge now. By the way, don’t dismiss all of what has just been said because you feel you are not a full-fledged victim. These processes are in everyone to some extent, and you will, if you look hard enough with an open mind, be able to see evidence of all I have discussed in your own life to some extent.

Because of how we think we should be, compared to how we believe we are, we eventually become unacceptable to ourselves through all the judgements we heap on ourselves. 	

The victim identity wants you to take the blame for most things that go wrong. Although it usually blames others outwardly, it still likes to blame itself so that it can wallow in the self-pity that feels so safe and comfortable. Anger and victim-hood are usually linked. Becoming angry can hook the victim and bring it, and its associated personalities forward, if it isn’t already running your life. Also, the victim is virtually always angry at something, or with someone, usually the self. The victim will often compete with others to show they have had, or have, a worse life, or at least, one that is just as hard. The victim identity gets most of its significance from having a worse life or past than others, and has more reason to suffer than anyone else. But no matter how bad you think your life is, there are people in this world who would line up to swap places with you. There are always people far worse off than you, and many of them are happier than you, even though their physical situations may be worse.
The victim identity feeds off fear, negative emotions and situations, and even illness. It needs negativity to survive, and will create it if it is not present. It wants you to keep being a victim or it can’t feel safe. Feeling good can feel unsafe or even downright scary for a true victim. It would rather stay in pain than risk being exposed to the possibility of pain it can't control, through having any pleasure taken away. Which it believes will absolutely happen eventually. This kind of loss is perceived as ultimate pain. For those who are only mild or occasional victims (or even don’t know they have this challenge), they may avoid feeling good, or being able to be successful, without even realising it.
As long as any part of you is interested in keeping your internal pain going, you will sabotage every opportunity to grow past your suffering. If you allow this to happen, you are stuck. The victim identity is rarely a conscious process, so become aware of how comfortable you are with complaining, putting others or yourself down, calling your self names gossiping, feeling sorry for your self, or suffering over issues or challenges. Listen to the stories you tell others about your perceived problems or challenges, your conditions and your life. Are they negative, pessimistic or depressing in any form? Are the people you interact with also telling you about so-called bad situations they perceive they have had, or are having? Do you get competitive and try to show you have worse stories to tell than theirs? Do you find your self insisting that you have suffered or are suffering or struggling at least as much, if not more than them? Are you assessing how their life is not as bad as yours in order to feel significant? Do you blame others for your misfortunes and your challenges? If you make others responsible for how you perceive your self, especially those from your past, you’re a victim. 
I believe the worst feeling a human can experience is the feeling of being worthless. Feeling worthless is one of the most painful things you can experience because you will wound your self deeply with it, and it doesn't tend to go away on its own. Feeling worthless is something that affects all your life and all your perception, or all your perception and therefore your whole reality.

You can’t punish or hurt anyone else without hurting your self.	

Being a victim can feel very safe. No one can take this feeling away unless you let them. The trap is that the victim outwardly says they want to stop being unhappy, yet they would not allow their unhappiness to be taken away, even if someone could take it from them. After all, people can’t make you feel really bad if you’re already feeling really bad. The illusion that this is the safest way to operate to avoid pain is unbelievably disempowering. Think about what’s involved — virtually constant suffering to avoid occasional suffering! How does that sound? How can that possibly work to help you to feel happy? Yes I know almost none of you will believe you do this, but even if there is a chance, use honest, non-judgemental self-inquiry to look into it. It could change your life. Giving up your ability to be happy so that no one can take away your moments of happiness is insane. However, there are people all over the world doing this all the time, mostly without even realising it. 
These people believe that any time they allow themselves to feel good, it can be taken away from them by a single comment, look, or gesture from another person. This feeling confirms that it is not safe to feel good, because happiness can be taken away in a way that hurts more than not having it in the first place. Suffering causes you to be more vulnerable whether you like it or not. How can being in this state possibly cause you to feel safe? 
Many victims use sex as a way to feel worthwhile or significant, and to get self-validation. Unfortunately (especially for females), you only get the attention while sex is sought, and you only get attention in a sexual way. Quite often a chain of partners may be needed to sustain a sense of being briefly worthwhile. You may feel that parts of your body are of interest to others and can be displayed in a way that attracts attention. It is very dangerous for a victim to seek this kind of attention, consciously or subconsciously. 
Sexual perpetrators and victimisers have their radars set up to detect these kinds of signals, simply because the people giving these signals are usually victimisable. Often victims can get raped, and often on more than one occasion, without even realising that they were sending out the signals that these rapists are looking for. Their plight even helps to confirm their victim status to themselves. Victim behaviour often invites external victimisation. victim-hood is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Please do not assume that by these statements I am saying it is the victim’s fault in any way if somebody takes advantage of them. I find the forced domination of any person for any reason against their will totally distasteful. I am not making these points so you can start blaming your self or beating your self up. It is however important that you understand how victim-hood can effect you.
You cannot make a choice about something you did not know you were doing, and you cannot know that you don’t know something. Forgive your self immediately if this has happened to you. You were doing absolutely the best you could at the time, with the knowledge and awareness you had at the time. I mention the subject simply to give more awareness about the signals you may be sending out into the world, and the experiences that such low self-esteem may attract. Using the excuse that you should be able to do or be as you want is a valid one, but using that as an excuse not to take responsibility for your future approach means you open yourself up to possible abuse. It is my intention to help you avoid that.
Victims often tend to have physical afflictions because internal self-loathing can unbalance our natural state. Many victims have illnesses that would dissipate if they let go of being a victim, as they may have been brought on by victim-hood in the first place. Victims often get significance (a sense of importance) from having an illness or physical challenge, because this may subconsciously feel like the only kind of significance they can get, or deserve. If someone is totally associated to the victim identity, they will have trouble achieving anything of a long-term nature, other than being unhappy. Even if they have dreams of achieving things, success is often virtually impossible for these people, because they will take it from themselves so they can’t have it taken from them. They’ll have trouble hearing anything nice about themselves, and usually do not trust anyone, including themselves. They will probably blame someone else or many others for their situation, or how they feel. They actively court pity or sorrow from others for their situations, usually without even realising they are asking for these things. They do not realise that for the most part, they are creating much of their experience of life themselves, as we all are. 
If you indulge in victim identity personalities, you can get a sense of being punished by someone or by something unseen, like a higher power. Or that maybe you don’t deserve to achieve your goals, or that you’re not as good as someone else, or that someone has the right to treat you badly in some way. “Poor me, look what’s being done to me.” If you are in any form of complaining mode, you are running a personality that comes with victim-hood. The victim identity is very seductive, powerful, controlling and manipulative. It can be both victim and aggressor at the same time, leading to what is commonly known as passive-aggressive behaviour. A victim can be aggressively manipulating you by being needy, scared, stubborn, sullen, intentionally inefficient or helpless. These are just a few ways for this process to be displayed. 
Bullies are victims who have become aggressors or perpetrators. Victim and bully are just two sides of the same coin. They became so angry about their perception of being victimised that they are determined never to be victimised again. They either punish virtually everyone for their suffering or react to everyone as if they are trying to victimise them. They are so determined not to be victimised again that they take on everyone and treat them as if they are perpetrators. Ultimately, such behaviour just causes more suffering for themselves and others. People who live through the victim identity build up many supporting programs and thinking strategies to help get them to this negative ‘safe’ place called self-pity. Staying there all the time is virtually impossible as it requires us to override our natural higher drive to be happy, and it takes a lot of work, effort and energy to stay negative. Many strategies are required to help us feel sorry for ourselves consistently, and turn any information or stimulus into a way to do that.
If you do not want to continue functioning as a victim in any form, you must first become clearer about the strategies and tendencies that your victim uses to control you. Then, whenever you become aware of any strategies or programs running, disarm them by first immediately forgiving your self, and then doing whatever is necessary to redirect your focus towards something opposite to what you were focusing on, or opposite to how you are focusing on what has your attention. Decide what behaviour would support you better and help you to feel genuinely good, and then indulge in it with all your conscious attention. 
Practise optimistic approaches to engender more uplifting thoughts, and therefore generate more supportive emotions. Step into, or create, personalities that have no flavour of the victim attached to them (I will tell you all about personalities and how to do this shortly). As soon as you disengage from the victim identity and its associated personalities (states) by consciously directing your mind elsewhere, you will feel better and more resourceful. Eventually, if you are committed to managing and directing your thinking mind, with enough practice, you will raise your vibration and awareness above the need for the victim identity altogether. You do not need to try to rid your self of the victim identity. Just become more aware of its patterns, dialogues, and behaviours, and what it does to attract disempowering situations that allow you to feel disempowered. Every time you get an opportunity to notice these behaviours, simply make the choice not to indulge the victim in that moment, and focus on, and give your full attention to,  something that causes you to feel genuinely good. Focus on what you could learn about your self in those moments, from a non-judgemental, uplifting, and inspiring perspective.
If you catch your self telling a story that causes you to feel sorry for your self, or you start gossiping or complaining, simply stop. That in itself will help you feel better. Then refocus your mind to think about things that cause you to feel good and uplifted, and if needs be, talk about them to raise the quality of the conversation. I have found it reasonably simple to help people out of wanting to live through their victim identity, once they realise how sick and tired they are of suffering when they perceive others to be suffering less. Once they decide they no longer wish to be a victim, it takes a bit more calendar time for them to decommission and override the many supporting programs and strategies the thinking mind has used to help them get to that place of self-pity on a regular basis. 
If there is a behaviour that you would like to change, awareness about it is key. Become aware of the behaviour when it kicks in; identify the state you were in as it started, and the state that you are entering as it grows in intensity. Decide on a higher-level supportive state (personality) to run instead when you can, each time the old behaviour tries to take control. Then condition it into your self with practice each time the old behaviour tries to run, so that the new one slowly becomes your regular programming. Rituals create patterns which are conditioned in as regular behaviour through repetition. Create rituals for the behaviours you would like to become regular in your life. You can condition the mind through the ritual of regularly practicing the chosen patterns or strategy more often than the old ones. If you don’t do this, and just abuse your self for the behaviour you don’t like, and create discomfort, you are possibly enjoying or getting a sense of safety from the discomfort in some way. You are just feeding a never-ending cycle of victim-hood, no matter how mild it may be. 
Can you see when someone else is acting out their perceived worthlessness, or their judgement of themselves, or looking for pity or for you to feel sorry for them? This is how people see you when you do it. If you do it, do you want to continue doing it? Unfortunately, victims are usually hoping that someone or something will rescue them — even though they don’t really want to be rescued, and don’t believe rescue is really possible anyway. Nonetheless, since they don’t feel like they can rescue themselves, they view outside help as their only chance of salvation. Yet they will usually reject help even if it is given, and justify strongly why this is how they should be feeling. 
Now, if it were possible for someone else to save you, isn’t it reasonable to expect that they would have done it by now? I suggest that it’s truly up to each of us to save ourselves by raising our awareness through conscious self-inquiry. Life gives us the lessons we need to have to raise in awareness. If you are waiting for life to make you feel good, even while you are subconsciously, or even consciously, telling universal influence that you’re comfortable feeling bad, you’re in trouble. You will be trapped, causing and manifesting your own suffering. Indulging any form of victim-hood and self-pity will never help you to transcend your suffering. You need to stop indulging any form of victim behaviour, and start indulging the higher calling to feel truly good. It’s in there. It has to be, because you are human.

Your lighter, more uplifting thoughts will bring light to the places of darkness you perceive within yourself.	

Change your approach and then focus onto whatever allows you to feel good, strong, supported, uplifted and empowered. Feeling gratitude is especially powerful, so focus on something you can be grateful for. True gratitude overrides any other emotion. If you say you have nothing to be grateful for, look deeper. You are alive and have the opportunity to feel better if you can choose to. You also have this book. If you suffer from any sense of self-pity through indulging your victim identity, create half a dozen index cards with five to ten reasons to be grateful on each one of them; in fact, do this anyway. Always carry at least one of them with you. 
Whenever you feel this disempowering identity or one of its personalities creeping in, take out a gratitude card and change your focus to one entry that you can give your full attention to. Become totally emotionally involved in what you’re reading on your card, and if you start thinking about other things, gently redirect your attention back to the card and its contents. Engage your whole body and imagination, and fully experience what you’re focusing on. As a result, you will quickly change the quality of your life experience in those moments. Remember this: you can either have results or excuses, but not both. Are you worth the commitment it will take to change the quality of how you feel, by directing your conscious mind to make choices that will support you at a higher level? I say yes, absolutely. At some point you will agree with me, especially if you take this journey and practise what I offer you in this book.

People can become addicted to pain and suffering especially if it leads to self-pity, and the illusion that you are worthless.

Victims validate each other.

Many more people in our society identify with suffering rather than happiness. That is why negative news is far more popular than positive, uplifting stories. People can identify with the suffering, because the experience that, rather than the happiness, which they've experienced very little of.

When you are the one inflicting violence on yourself and causing your own suffering, how can you escape it.

Some people become hard and cold so they have the illusion that they are safe.

 - victim or worthless, unacceptable self.

Victimhood-resignation (what's the point. Failure by choice, hurt by a life). The opposite of resignation is too much seeking, constant questioning, craving more just for the sake of it.

In the past, I only seemed to get nervous when I was unhappy or suffering.

A victim will use memories as a reason to suffer.

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Each Identity Has It’s Own Perceived Value
	If you are still stuck in the thinking concept of a self, and have no true sense of self value, you will try to get the experience of self value through public identity; fame, position, wealth etc. Anything achieved through using public identity will be credited to the public identity, and this will confirm its validity, and therefore strengthen it (and the same with the victim id). The thinking mind innately knows that the public identity is a constructed, fake identity, and therefore anything achieved through it is also considered not real. That means it will not be credited to your personal sense of self value. Once the illusion of the thinking version of a self being the real you is dissolved, everything achieved at all will be seen as unable to happen if you were not able to do it, so everything done is now accepted as part of your real potential. All sense of victim-hood also eventually dissipates with the realisation that the thinking version of self is not real.

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Vehicles
success, failure or inadequacy (victim-hood), spirituality, religion, military, hate, teaching, physical pursuits, dialogue & rhetoric, competition, sex, aggression, intellect, knowledge, health, wealth, money, blame, bullying, a helper, a harmer, food, drugs etc.
What you associate certainty and significance to will usually dictate your quality of vehicle. Everything you choose to do externally is really a vehicle and not a destination. What vehicles do you use to meet your subconscious and conscious thinking needs most often? Alcohol? Food? Drugs? Cigarettes? Self-pity? Hatred of others? (the ability to hate others comes from the ability and willingness to hate your self), Self-hatred? Sex? Confrontation? Supporting others? Teaching? Acting enlightened? Physical exercise? Competition? Money? Success? 
The public identity will usually tell you that the needs being met are high level pursuits, or are the needs of the higher self. It will often lead you to believe that your actions are about contribution beyond your self, when actually you are more than likely just pursuing certainty, connection for self-validation, and self-importance (significance). In other words, your vehicle is masked to be perceived as a contribution vehicle, however it is far more likely a ‘getting’ rather than a ‘giving’ vehicle. If so, forgive your self, and accept this. 
Although the act of giving is a higher-level vehicle in itself, in these situations or interactions, it becomes a lower-level exercise, and is really just bartering or horse-trading. The other side of this trap is giving so much, to be accepted, that it becomes detrimental to you or your situations, or sets you up to believe people have taken advantage of your generosity. When often the generosity was really just a bribe to like or accept you. Pleasers are often the biggest victims in our society. They are usually doing what they can to be liked or at least accepted, or to avoid being victimised any further. They usually subconsciously expect to be victimised anyway, because they are already victimising themselves. They often don’t actually know how to value their self, and only feel valued through the perceived approval they receive from others. 
Another prominent vehicle is the public identity vehicle of spirituality - look what I can experience, feel, do, how aware I am, how I can describe spiritual matters, or energy, better than others, or see into you, or give messages from beyond (which very few can actually do for real). A lot of the new-age rhetoric is really about consciously, or subconsciously, believing or saying you experience things others cannot, or the same things as others, just better, and are therefore hopefully perceived as more aware by those associated to a desperation to be or be perceived as awakened.
Make sure that whatever vehicle you consciously 'choose' (when you can) to meet your needs, is a high-level vehicle.

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Addictions
Addictions are vehicles used to meet our needs that end up gaining control over us. Personalities are created that can and will indulge these vehicles with patterns and behaviours if you allow them to. Any behaviour that meets three or more of the four needs of the thinking mind will become some form of addiction. Some addictions are empowering, and at least supportive; some are disempowering, and at worst, destructive. Both kinds come about because of the same process: a behaviour, strategy or approach is being used to meet the base needs of the thinking mind, and the primal mind. Some people use running or physical pursuits as a way to change how they feel, or change their state, while others use things like arguments, upset, aggression, blame, drugs etc. Each activity may be addictive to the person because it meets their needs, but clearly one will bring with it a much better quality of physical or emotional reality. A healthy or supportive pursuit, behaviour or process, can become a higher-level addiction, as long as it does not destroy the quality of other areas in the person’s life, or the lives of the people around them. However, it must not be pursued to the exclusion of everything else, or it is just a little better than a destructive addiction. Even a healthy addiction will probably cause personal struggle at some point because addictions are attachments, and attachments always cause struggle, which ultimately causes suffering. 
The actual addiction is how a behaviour, strategy or habit causes you to feel. What you get to experience or what you perceive you get to avoid. When you find a better vehicle that meets your needs at an equal or higher level, feels better, with more perceived benefits, and less perceived possibility of pain, your subconscious mind will be drawn to change to the new behaviour automatically. You can enhance this by consciously choosing it also. Diverting your mind from indulging these addictions can be a lot easier than people think, if you just use the mind’s natural pain-avoidance process in your favour. People addicted to substances suffer an ever-increasing level of pain, struggle and torment in their lives, because there is always a cost to them personally. Their thinking mind is already looking for an alternative, because it senses that the present path will eventually become terminal. Survival is a priority function of your primal mind and thinking mind’s programming, unless the drive to avoid your own perception of self-loathing proves stronger. In fact, more often than not people with substance abuse issues are very conflicted: they are drawn to stop by some thoughts, and the higher mind, yet driven to keep going by other thoughts, withdrawal symptoms, and the habitual conditioning that has been created. The combination compounds their suffering, and quite often increases their need for state-changing, mind-numbing drugs. 
Usually, people addicted to chemicals, and/or disempowering behaviours, actually consciously or subconsciously despise what they are addicted to. What could be more absurd than chasing after something you despise, and never getting enough of it? An example most will be able to relate to is smoking. The thinking mind knows it is a detrimental addiction, but unless it encounters a new behaviour that meets its base level needs at a higher level, like pursuing health, or committed sobriety, it will not relinquish its current addiction. A lack of self-acceptance and dislike for one’s self, and therefore one’s thoughts, is usually what drives people to alcohol, drugs or detrimental behaviours in the first place. Therefore, raising self-esteem is really what is needed to resolve almost all addictions, or having freedom from the illusion of the self you are trying to hide or hide from in the first place. Choosing the right vehicles to meet your needs is paramount in your life. When you feel better about your self, you will choose better for your self, and when you awaken, you will be far more likely to only do what you are drawn in a higher way to do.

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Global Beliefs
Global beliefs are really the overview beliefs we hold in any area of our life; "people are", "situations are", "politicians are", "you do don't you" – these are global beliefs that encompass large groups or overall situations. Specific beliefs are the beliefs that are held by the separate personalities, which come forward to support a specific identity in any moment. The overall beliefs, the global beliefs, are about the beliefs of the identity, which are all encompassing or global statements and expectations. Those global beliefs are more general and sweeping. So identities have general beliefs in any area of your life, and each personality associated to that identity has more refined and directly specific beliefs associated to those general beliefs of the identity in any moment. 

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Understanding Your Drives & Motivations
A drive in this context is really just a source of motivation. In this example, we will compare the drive 'towards', and the drive 'away from', any particular stimulus. Pull is far stronger than push, which means that moving towards, or being drawn towards something, is far easier than trying to get away from it. If you wish to make a vehicle you are building go faster, you must approach and focus on how to make it go faster. You don’t contemplate how to stop it going slowly. If you want to make a plane fly, you direct your thoughts and optimistic approach, and your focus, which activates higher reasoning, onto working out how to make it fly. Not onto how to stop it falling, or how to stop it staying on the ground. Your motivation must be on what you want or desire, not on getting away from what you don’t want. 
If you are standing still and want to start running, there is no point focusing on not standing still, or hoping it will end, or trying to stop your self standing still, in the hope that this will create running. You must focus on, and decide to do, that which you want to experience. Until you focus on running, and apply your self in that direction, you will not stop standing still. When you focus your full attention on running, and then take the action required to do so, the standing still automatically stops happening (and stops being experienced). Therefore, when it comes to your emotional state, you must approach it and focus on it based on how you want to feel, and not on what you want to stop feeling, or on how to stop feeling it. 
When you want to escape a feeling, fear, as an example, your thinking mind must keep your attention on the perceived source of it in some form, in order to measure if you are moving away from it or not. Based on what you have learned so far about getting the experience of what you give your attention and focus to, how can you escape the experience of it when it still holds some, or all of your focus, and therefore your attention? Remember, what you focus on, and how you describe it to your self, dictates your emotional experience in that moment. In reality, in order to get away from something, you must first metaphorically and energetically turn your back on it (remove your attention and focus from it), and consciously direct your focus and attention towards something else, something you want to experience instead. At the same time surrendering your focus on the source of your discomfort or suffering in that area of your life. If you do not focus in another direction and let go, you’ll be constantly stuck with the experience of what you’re trying to move away from. 
During this example, I’m going to discuss the two basic drives/motivations: the drive away from what you don’t want, and the drive towards what you do want. You may not be aware of it, but these are totally different motivations. By ‘pain’ in this example, I mean a bad outcome or feeling. When I say expectation of a bad outcome, I mean your thinking mind taking a particular behaviour, pattern, habit or strategy, and projecting it into the future, and experiencing it in the present using imagination, as a cause of pain or a disempowering emotions in the future. Remember, the thinking mind is wired to avoid pain. Therefore, by using your vivid imagination to show it severe, unbearable pain in the future, as a result of the behaviour, pattern or strategy you are employing at the moment, you can cause your thinking mind to automatically start looking for a better, alternative behaviour to meet its needs. Then you simply offer it a replacement for the old one. As long as it meets your needs at an equal or higher level, the thinking mind will automatically start working towards this new strategy or behaviour subconsciously, after you have done it consciously enough times to create evidence that it can work. 
I am talking here about using the thinking mind to help you create a shift around your perceived unwelcome tendencies. First, you must focus on a particular problem or challenge you believe you have, that arises because of a behaviour, internal dialogue, pattern or strategy that you’re running. People usually do nothing about anything they see as a problem or a challenge until it becomes too painful to ignore any longer; then they ‘decide’ something needs to be done about it. If you attach pain to the old pattern or behaviour, and intensify it whenever you experience that pattern or behaviour, this kind of created emotion or ‘thinking pain’ can create drive and motivation, to help create a shift. This can be used to your advantage (or just be used to abuse your self to try to create change, which can't work). 
If you use this strategy, make sure you first attach future imagined pain to what you don’t want. Then, when you experience intense discomfort or fear over what the perceived outcome will be if you continue to behave in that way, direct your thinking mind to associate a sense of future pleasure with the new behaviour, pattern or strategy you have chosen. Do both with as much emotional intensity as you can muster. The more emotional intensity, the more powerful the result will be. Your level of drive in any direction will also depend on what you believe you deserve or don't deserve, in association the the behaviour or strategy you are focused on, and the needs you are trying to meet. If the need you are trying to meet includes significance or self-importance, then you will have more drive in that direction.
Take being overweight. Even though a person may be really uncomfortable with being overweight, they will often do nothing about it until one day something tips them over the edge. Their physical condition becomes too emotionally painful for them to bear any longer. Perhaps they go on holiday, or to a wedding, and once they see the photographs, they are devastated by their perception of their own appearance. The realisation may drive them to go on a diet immediately. Suddenly they find all the commitment, dedication, motivation and drive they need to start, and stick to a diet, because it has become too painful to carry on the way they were going (for now). Now it becomes less painful to diet than it was to stop eating. They take whatever actions are necessary to ease their pain. In this example, necessary actions include exercising and eating less or eating better. As the weight starts to come off, the pain starts to lose its intensity. 
As the intensity of the pain drops, so does their motivation and dedication to continue with the new process. Unfortunately, because they are only trying to move away from being overweight, these people usually return to what can be thought of as their centre-of-gravity behaviours — their old practiced, conditioned patterns and strategies. Then the same problem returns and quite possibly gets worse. Believe it or not, this comes about mainly because of the direction of their motivation, and partly because of their expectation of self, which is always based around perceived level of self-worth, and what they believe they do and don't deserve.
The drive ‘not to be fat’ rather than ‘to be slim and healthy’ is the problem. This distinction may seem confusing to some people, but the two are completely different motivations. The difference is between moving away from something uncomfortable and moving towards something uplifting and supportive. The drive ‘to be slim and healthy’ is very different from the drive ‘not to be fat’. In the diagram below, I’ll explain to you what causes the difference in results, and why most people fail to reach or sustain the goals they set for themselves. Remember that the thinking mind is inherently lazy. It will only ever drive you to do what it deems to be absolutely necessary, to support your concept of self (your perceived level of self-worth, beliefs and expectations over your self), and avoid what you have associated fear or pain to. Fear can be a key to adjusting your approaches to any area of your life. You do much of what you do because of what you associate fear to, not what you associate pleasure to. You will do far more to avoid fear than you will do to gain pleasure.
It is very important to understand that the situations you have in life are virtually all the results of your expectations of your self, others, and life in general. And they are based on what you perceive your personal value or lack of value to be. You do what you do, and have what you have, based on your expectations, and your level or lack of perceived self-worth. If you want to know how you perceive your personal worth, look at the conditions of your life. Look at what you are prepared to accept, and what you are not prepared to go after. This evidence will reveal your true expectations of your self and life, and will show you your true perceived level or lack of self-worth. Yes, you can blame the conditions of your life for your situations and experiences. However, if you were not prepared to accept them, you would be working towards changing them in a way that would guarantee a different standard of life. Face the fact that you have what you expect to have, both in terms of the conditions of your life, the standard of your living, and the quality of your immediate emotional experiences. Not because there is something inherently wrong with you, but because that is what you are genuinely prepared to accept. 
If you look honestly, you will always be able to find people who have had similar challenges to you and have overcome them. They may have come from a similar background, or have experienced similar events, situations or interactions, that gave them the opportunity to feel handicapped in some way. They will have overcome their perceived limits to create a very different life for themselves. Mainly because they stopped just blaming situations or others, and decided to change their life conditions, because they wanted better for themselves, and were prepared to confront their fears over going for what they wanted. I guarantee that if you change your expectations by challenging your limiting beliefs and valuing your self more — by treating your self well, and thereby raising your perception of worth — your life will change for the better, in more ways than you can imagine. People with low expectations work towards moving away from conditions and situations they don’t like, or want to change, even though they don’t truly expect them to change. People with optimistic high expectations and high perceived self-worth, genuinely work towards outcomes that will allow them to feel good. Most people think they are the latter. Is this the truth for you, based on the conditions of your life? Challenge your self to look honestly at your true motivations and expectations, and your concept of self.
I am using money as the example here because I think it is one thing that people will be able to clearly relate to. Do you earn just a bit more than you need to earn, but think you want to be rich? Most people will say they want to be rich or successful, when actually they just don’t want to be poor or broke. People will generally earn just as much, or a little bit more than they really need to earn, and usually no more. Only when something happens which causes them to start feeling that they are heading towards being broke, or not having just enough, will they alter their strategies. Then a sense of fear over perceived impending pain will motivate them to take action. For a while, fear of a bad outcome will override their expectations of not succeeding, or that they subconsciously don't believe they deserve to succeed in this area, and they will overcome their perceived limitations. However, once the pain subsides, they will return to their normal expectations of themselves and life. As long as they are not broke, they will not be driven to earn more money, even if it is uncomfortable, and they think they want to be rich. 
This understanding of how drive and motivation works, carries over to any area of your life — money, health, romance, relationships, hobbies, work, family, and so on. I suggest you keep going over this section until you truly understand how this concept affects you, and how it could drastically change your approach to your perceived challenges and goals from now on, if you select the right approach towards something uplifting, rather than trying to escape the cause of discomfort or fear.
I recently saw my friend Topher Morrison (see recommended resources) use this diagram, and I decided I would use it to show you what I want to teach you. The wavy line on the diagram below depicts level of income. It moves upwards from ‘broke’ to ‘not broke’ and then back down to ‘broke’ in a repeating pattern. The numbers on the image below correspond with the dialogue below the image. The term ‘not broke’ represent the level of financial needs of the individual looking at this example, and is totally personal. Decide what your income would need to be, for you to feel satisfied, and what it would need to drop to, for you to feel broke. These will be your personal limits for the exercise below, and should allow you to see the pattern you have succumbed to many times in your life. These patterns run in all areas of your life, so this is a great exercise to help you look at all the areas of your life that you are not totally happy with.
Speak out loud the process below, see your self moving up through the levels (1, 2, 3, 4 etc.) while you read the corresponding internal dialogue scripted below. This internal dialogue is mostly unheard by you, as it is subconscious until it approaches the levels that will cause you to feel more discomfort. Then you will start to give it more attention as the fear builds. You may not actually get all the way down to being broke. The level you drop to, will be based on the level of fear you experience, and what you are prepared to accept, before you are driven to act.

1.	Don’t want to be broke
2.	Don’t want to be broke
3.	Don’t want to be broke
4.	Don’t want to be broke
5.	Don’t want to be broke
6.	Don’t want to be broke
7.	Don’t want to be broke
8.	Don’t want to be broke
9.	Don’t want to be broke
10.	 Don’t feel so broke
11.	 Don’t feel broke
12.	 Don’t feel broke
13.	 Don’t feel broke
14.	 Don’t feel broke
15.	 Don’t feel broke
16.	 Don’t feel broke
17.	 Don’t feel broke
18.	 Don’t feel broke
19.	 Don’t feel broke
20.	 Don’t feel broke
21.	 Going to be broke! (conscious realisation)
22.	 Don’t want to be broke
23.	 Don’t want to be broke
24.	 Don’t want to be broke  etc. 

Now let’s have a look at someone whose motivation is “I want to be rich.” As you will see, a completely different internal dialogue accompanies this drive. There is only one true direction of motivation, and it will happen if there is also a corresponding true expectation of this outcome, and there is an underlying belief that it is actually deserved.

8.	I want to be rich
8.	I want to be rich
9.	I want to be rich
10.	I want to be rich
11.	I want to be rich
12.	I want to be rich
13.	I want to be rich, and on it goes up.

There’s no need to lose motivation because they are working towards something, and not away from something else. If you can relate to the diagram and dialogue in the first part of the example, honestly check with your self to see whether you’re fooling your self with your perceived desire to be rich (or whatever area you relate the diagram to). Are you doing what it takes to reach your goals, or just enough to avoid experiencing discomfort or pain? Although I have used money for the example above, this graph can relate to any area of your life. ‘Wanting to be in love’, as opposed to ‘not wanting to be single’; ‘wanting to be slim and healthy” as opposed to ‘not wanting to be overweight’; ‘wanting to be the best in your chosen career’ as opposed to ‘not wanting to lose your job’. 
This model can be applied to any area in your life. When you are truly focused on, and working towards what you want, you can set your target far in the distance. If you are congruent with the outcome you want, have enough self-acceptance and self-belief to believe you deserve it, and genuinely expect it to come to you, you will be pulled towards it no matter how far away it is. The problem with focusing on moving away from what you don’t want, is that as long as you are focused on it, you can’t get away from it, because you are giving it your attention and will therefore experience it. Plus, whatever you focus on, the more of it you get. 
These two drives — the drive ‘away from’ and the drive ‘towards’ — are diametrically opposed (going in opposite directions). You cannot do both at once. Consider this example. Stretch your arms straight out to your sides so they point in completely opposite directions from your body, left and right. Then look towards where your left hand is pointing. Assume for this example that it is pointing at something you want to escape or change. Now turn you head completely in the opposite direction and look where your right hand is pointing. Assume it is pointing in the direction you want to go, or towards something you want to experience. In this position, you cannot look at both hands at once. You can only be focused on one direction at a time: what you want to get away from or what you want to move towards. Trying not to do something is different from making a decision to do something else. It’s the same as focusing your eyes on an object and then moving your head around to stop looking at it, whilst still having your eyes fixed on it. You will continue to carry the image of it, and therefore the experience of it, until you move your head far enough that you are now facing a different direction, and seeing (or experiencing) only what is in that direction instead. 
The lesson: don’t try to stop doing something, instead make a decision to do something else. Don’t look at what you don’t want, only at what you do want, or do want to experience. If you are not comfortable with a particular behaviour, consciously choose another, opposite behaviour, and consciously practise that one instead, without any form of self-abuse involved. Nurture your self with kindness and compassion until you subconsciously adopt it permanently. Forgive your self immediately for any perceived inability or slip. 
The example with the hands, is a great way to help you see what happens when you try to escape your past. Say your left hand is pointing towards the past you’re trying to escape, whilst your right hand is pointing towards your desired future. How can you look at your possible future and where you are going, if you are constantly looking at your perception of your past? Metaphorically, you are approaching your future with the back of your head if you do this — you are therefore blind to its possibilities. Ask your self why you approach anything the way you do. “Why” or “what for” are also good questions to ask if you want to fuel your motivation in any particular direction. The questions "why" or "what for" uncover your reasons ‘for’ doing something, and the reasons ‘to do’ something. The stronger the why or what for, the stronger the motivation. That is why most people predominantly use pain avoidance as a motivation, because it creates a strong why and what for. 
Mother Teresa was asked to march against war, and she said “No.” Then she apparently said, “If you decide to march 'for' peace, I will join you.” She clearly understood the difference in vibration between these two motivations. Away from and towards are two different energies. One is a movement toward greater good, which is driven by inspiration. The other is moving away from what you fear, and is therefore driven solely by the thinking mind. This is important stuff. If you are striving not to feel a lack, you will always feel lack, because you will always be focused on lack somehow. You are being driven by a fear-based poverty, scarcity, or starvation mentality. Poverty is attracted to those who are in expectational harmony with it. Cultivate a mind-set of abundance and expectation of getting what you want. If you do this consistently, you will not suffer from lack or scarcity. Scarcity is a mind-set, and a perception of reality, not a true reality. Also some people have a 'can’t' or 'won't' mentality, whilst others have a 'can' and 'will' mentality. Which do you think is the most likely to get what they think they want?
Your true drive can also give you an idea of your level or lack of perceived self-worth. People who value themselves highly absolutely believe that they deserve what they want, expect to get it, and set out to achieve it. Meanwhile, people with low self-esteem and lack of self-worth, tend to do only the bare minimum to avoid what they don’t want to experience. If you only ever do “just enough”, and your drive is away from something, or many things, then it is important that you start working towards valuing your self more, and raising your level of self-esteem. Learn to see the evidence of your true value, which is certainly available to you if you look in the right places, in the right way. Everything you need to raise your perceived self-worth is within the pages of this book. And remember that self-worth means your worth to your self, not others. Decide that you want to get as much from this book as you possibly can, by reading it multiple times, rather than doing “just enough” and reading it only once. 
Believe me, there will be plenty of people with this book on their shelves having read a little or none at all, but who complain that they don’t know how to get out of their current predicaments or suffering, or how to influence the emotional experiences of their life. Do you want to feel great all the time, or is it that you just don’t want to feel discomfort or unhappiness? Your true answer will dictate how far away from suffering you can move, and if you have any chance of becoming free of your illusion of your self. Are you doing the bare minimum to get what you want, or are you doing whatever it takes? Whether your goal is an external worldly accomplishment, or a high experiential state of being, having a desired outcome helps to create your approach, focus, commitment, drive, motivation, and discipline. These attributes will help you to make the choices required to bring about your desired experience of reality. 

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Our Driving Needs

Tony Robbins’ (Unlimited Power and Awaken The Giant Within - see Recommended Resources) revolutionary theory below, certainly helps to answer the question “Why do people do the things they do?” How is it that one person will sacrifice their own life for another, while another person will murder a stranger for enjoyment or acceptance? What creates an Ossama bin Laden or a Nelson Mandela, a Lee Harvey Oswald or a John F. Kennedy, a Rose West or a Mother Teresa? To me, it is based on level of perceived self-worth right from the start of their life, and then the needs they try to meet. Their sense of self-worth determines the vehicles they choose, to meet the basic needs that everyone is driven to meet in some way. Some choose violence, and some choose to be a servant to a higher cause. Of course, there are many ‘vehicles’ that fall between these extremes. Below is Tony's ground-breaking model of what he calls The 6 Human Needs and how he defines them.

Certainty	4 needs of the personality	
Variety (Uncertainty)		
Significance		
Love & Connection		
Constant Growth	2 needs of the higher self	
Contribution - Beyond Oneself		

Tony says that everything we do is basically an attempt to meet one or all of these needs. He also says we are all driven continuously to try to fulfill at least the needs of the personality: Certainty, Significance, Variety and love & Connection. 
I’m going to risk sticking my neck out here because I feel my distinctions will help people to understand the difference between the needs or drives of the primal mind, the needs of the thinking mind, and the needs or drives of the higher mind, the more spiritual self. I spent quite some time feeling that somehow the structure above just could not answer all of the questions that I was having, no matter how much I tried to make the model above fit. So after 2 years of work and contemplation over this, I have separated these needs into the needs of each part of the physical mind, certainly for clarity, and to help you truly grasp what I am saying in the rest of this book. I also now see these needs as different to how Tony sees them, as you will see. Ultimately, however, Tony’s model above is the forerunner, and a testament to his wisdom, and has been the best out there so far. In my humble opinion, he is the best at what he does. 
The model below is my adaptation of how I now actually believe it to be.
	
Fig. 12    The Eleven Basic Evolutionary Needs & Drives

	
A bigger, clearer .pdf version is available at
http://FreedomFromYourThinkingMind.com/EN

This is not the full and complete structure, as I wanted to keep it simple enough to detail in this book. Perhaps in the future I will release the full structure. I call these needs our evolutionary needs, because I believe that the order of them from basic survival to total acceptance is the order they come about. When I refer to the right brain higher mind, I say needs but they are really drives, or being drawn to them, so they are not really perceived as needs, although for simplicity I will refer to them all as needs in this book. We must evolve through all of them and start to experience life from the higher levels of personal awareness to have a chance to truly awaken. I have ordered these needs in the order I believe are lowest to highest in awareness. These needs or evolutions should also come about in this order, and are also the evolution of consciousness each human being needs to take to evolve from where they currently are, to be free from the thinking mind. 
The order of the minds are the Primal Mind (operating system), Thinking Mind (your super-computer), Higher Mind (right-brain experiential mind), and then Universal Consciousness (awareness beyond just the physical form). I am only going to talk about the three physical minds here and touch on the highest level as the doorway into true consciousness. Universal Consciousness is another book altogether. The highest level on the chart is just the beginning of the opportunity to experience true consciousness, not the experience of it. I will however give you some insight into true consciousness within the book, just to give your mind some information to work with if it is truly ready to let go. Trust me when I say it is drawn by the higher right brain mind wants to, but it's simply trapped in its own never ending loops of thinking and imagining.
These levels of awareness are like a set of stairs, and you cannot get on the next step until you have raised in awareness of yourself and your patterns and processes enough, which changes your vibration, to be able to even see, let alone experience, the beginning of the next level. It has to be real, you cannot fool creation. You can’t cheat but you can try to pretend. Your guides will be able to tell, and so will those few who are genuinely at the higher levels. Those fooling themselves that they are already there, will simply be stuck through their own imagination supported illusion.
Evolution gives us insight into these levels of consciousness. First we just fight to survive and live through our primal drives, first alone, and then as we evolve, in a community of other survival driven beings, where we then lived in the moment. Then we evolve to thinking, and then comes the need to know we can be certain of survival and physical comfort, at the very least. Then we create and become aware of our self, as an apparently individual entity. Then imagination came into being in the physical body, and we started to lose our experience of the moment. Then life becomes about our concept of a separate self, and how we perceive and are perceived by others (the left brain self centered thinking mind), and using imagination to technologically evolve, and to try and avoid pain. Life then becomes about the imaginary version of it, with us experiencing these imaginings as real. Then we grow beyond just our concept of self and what life means to, or about us, to eventually becoming aware of all others as being the same (more right-brain higher awareness). Eventually we will all move back to just being one awareness (the universal consciousness, the life force – The One). 
The primal mind operating system and the thinking mind are both about survival and safety, and the higher experiential mind is where you will experience fulfillment. Unfortunately at the moment, the thinking mind is so strong that it is holding us back from the awareness of our oneness with the illusion of separateness, and stops universal influence from leading us forward without the need for it to use external force (challenging situations, accidents etc.). Thinking can not only override primal drives, it has become so strong now that it can override, filter out, or distract you from higher awareness. One of the ways is to use imagination in a way that allows you to believe you are experiencing higher awareness. 
The more primal the drive (need) the harder it is to override. Meeting the needs of the thinking mind and the primal mind at the same time will give you a strong sense of safety, comfort and the feeling of satisfaction, but only meeting the needs of the higher mind will give you a genuine sense of fulfillment. Your thinking mind can overwrite your primal mind, and the higher mind can override your thinking mind. But only if you are conscious enough to guide it to do so, with truly conscious thought and conscious choice and decision making. By conscious I mean right physical brain consciousness, not universal consciousness.
If you do not consciously override your primal drives, you will be driven to fulfill them. The lower you are in conscious awareness, the more primal your approach to life will be. The less desire you have to consciously choose a thinking approach, behaviour or an emotional outcome, the more you will be driven by base-level subconscious needs and drives. Conscious choice separates us from primal drive animals, however the less you are directing the quality of your conscious thinking, the more primal and needy it will be. We are basically designed to survive and physically thrive at an operating system level (primal mind level), and we will revert to these if we are not directing ourselves away from them.
If no experience of the higher self is experienced on a regular basis, then pursuits like sex may be the default experience that is sought, because it may seen as the only way to experience the joy of the higher self. And also because it may be the only thing they feel able to get perceived personal value or pleasure from quickly.
If a lifetime has been spent in the pursuit of base level drives like food and sex (especially through victim-hood - low perceived self-worth), the more programs and personalities that will have been developed by the thinking mind to direct the self towards these things, and they will have become stronger through practice (conditioning). That means it will be more challenging to consciously direct your thinking mind away from these processes, however it can be done. Meeting the needs of the primal mind, if they are the only needs you subconsciously or consciously think you can meet, can become addictive in itself, and can be a high-intensity escape, food, sex etc. You must consciously override primal drives especially primal drives associated to comfort, food and sex, or they will dominate you. If something has happened sexually to cause you to avoid sex as much as possible, then it will more than likely be food, comfort and minimum effort that you move towards.
Vehicles and behaviours that also meet your primal drives are harder to override, but the higher you vibrate, the easier it becomes to redirect yourself in a supportive way, and move towards meeting higher level needs.
The needs you try to meet, or are drawn to meet, are chosen subconsciously based on your level of awareness at the time, which is defined by your perception, which is defined by your core-identity, your conceptual self-image, which is guided by your perception of personal value. The lower your perception of personal value, the lower the needs you will be prepared to try to meet. In times of stress and fear we revert to meeting the highest lower-level needs that we are most comfortable and safe with. If this is certainty, then that will be mainly meeting primal needs, often through the illusion of control. Meeting basic primal needs can create a sense of safety, and also a pleasurable distraction. Minimum effort will be indulged by those who believe they deserve little, and will manifest as laziness and disinterest, and will often be tied to a strong desire to eat, have sex, or to punish oneself somehow. 
I believe that as we evolve up through these levels to a high enough point, the lower thinking mind and the higher mind begin to interact in a way that allows them to integrate. This then allows all the needs of the two lower minds to be met my the much higher drives and the awareness's of the higher mind. I believe that the mind really is not aware that it's creating its own suffering, and does not want to. However it is trapped in its own internal loops of fear, justification and imagination. When it genuinely realises this, it will set you free, and you can only bring this about by making higher choices, not through effort, striving or self-criticism.	
We all favour certain needs more than others. These become our pre-eminent needs, the ones we are driven to find vehicles for. Some people choose disempowering vehicles or behaviours, while others choose more uplifting, inspiring vehicles or behaviours. Your level of awareness about choices, quality of thought, choice of approaches, focus, descriptions and reasoning, dictates which of the above needs you align with more often than the others. If you operate at the higher vibration thought levels, you will be focused more often than not on constant growth (without trying to change), true contribution beyond yourself, and love and genuine compassion, without expecting anything in return. If you are looking for any return, including a way to define yourself, or feel good about yourself, then you are not functioning at these high levels of awareness. 
The thinking mind is all about getting and not giving, or it gives in order to get. Many people believe that they give freely, however it is more often than not just because of how they feel when they get something in return for that giving. This is not true contribution beyond a reward for self. As an example, how do you feel if you make an apology, and they don't respond in the way you wanted them to? An apology that is looking for a certain reaction is not a true apology, it is just manipulation. 
If you have a low level of awareness of the choices available to you in any moment, and a low vibrational thought process, or are simply not aware you have been living through these low-level drives, you will be driven mainly by the fear-based drives of certainty (which leads to attempting to control), connection (for self-validation), and significance (the illusion of self-importance). If a person’s thought process is low, they will not be actively seeking constant growth and the ability to contribute for no personal gain. Although they may choose to do something that appears to be giving, in reality, it will be to get something self-serving, like being perceived a certain way by others. They will be focused on finding ways to meet the three or four needs of the thinking mind. 
When you reach higher levels of awareness, you will be able to meet your need for certainty with faith, and trust in creation, and recognise the higher organising system of universal influence that serves you. Your need for significance will be met by your own true personal value (to you), your self-belief and self-esteem, and your ability to experience yourself as already of immense value, to yourself and Creation. Being truly compassionate (without pity) is far more fulfilling than just getting connection. And if you are truly open enough to experience it, and it's not just a concept you are trying to, or pretending to experience, it carries with it the recognition that you are already connected to everything anyway. You realise that everyone you interact with is actually you.
People always make the best choices based on their drives and what they believe is available to them. Once they become aware of better choices, they will find ways to meet their needs at a higher level of emotional experience, as long as they believe, based on their level of perceived self-worth, that they deserve to. The more conscious of yourself you become, and the more conscious you become of your imagination taking you out of the moment, the more you start to align with your higher consciousness, and the more you open up to experience higher awareness and higher consciousness. 
All human life must go through this whole hierarchy of awareness from the beginning of our existence, to the end of physical existence. Although the opportunity for higher awareness is always available, and is becoming stronger all the time, we can only evolve in our perception to our own next level, and at the rate that is truly comfortable to us. It cannot be rushed and nothing can be skipped. Trying to skip any steps, even by pretending, because you are struggling over yourself, or trying to be, or be perceived, as different or enlightened, cannot happen, and cannot come about through you striving to change or be different. There is nothing to change. Raising in awareness of your patterns, processes and perceptions, and then making higher choices, and letting go of attachments, is all that is required at this time. Don’t try to pretend you are somewhere else on this scale because it holds the illusion of escape or approval, or you want to believe you are there, as it will just considerably slow down your evolution of consciousness. If you are measuring or evaluating your self, you cannot be awakened because you believe there is still a self to measure or evaluate.
When you reach a high enough level of awareness, you will see that you are here in this physical form to have an experiential journey. You will see that the primal mind is all about you and your physical survival. Your thinking mind is all about your concept of self and its self-centeredness, so it's all about you. And when you reach high awareness, you see that everything you experience in this physical world is just a reflection of your perception of it, so it's still all about this being that is perceived as you, and the experiences consciousness has through this physical form you call you. Trying to escape it, or your required journey, or pretending you are somehow not in or attached to this body, in any way shape or form, is pointless. Like it or not, your consciousness signature, your soul, is attached to this physical form you are in for the duration of this journey, the rest of this life. You cannot escape that so surrender your struggle over this.
I know this may not be considered politically correct at the time if writing, but remember this about your children, so you know how to encourage them in their growth. Boys are driven and drawn towards competition and achievement, whilst girls are drawn to and need loving connection, adoration and love. Boys need to feel like they can achieve and succeed, and girls need to feel loved and adored. 

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The Needs of The Primal Mind  (The Operating System)
Traits of the Primal mind are - Physical Safety & Pain Avoidance, Unconscious, Fully Present, Automatic, Physical, Instinctual, Generates True Base Survival Emotions & Competition, especially between men.
	
Survival and Comfort are the two drives of the Primal Mind Operating System. They're both about physical longevity and pain avoidance. These are just physical drives that relate to physically doing and avoiding. They're fear based in that they are about our survival. They are instinctual, they are unconscious, and in these primal drives we are fully present. They're about the self, because they're about our own survival. They're hard wired. This Primal Mind is what I call our primal operating system. This is where our true emotions of Fear, Surprise, Anger and Revulsion come from, and perhaps partly responsible for Sadness also. 
When people give up on themselves, you can see how these primal drives come into play. When people have no real interest in life for themselves, they revert to food, comfort, minimum effort, and often sex or masturbation as a distraction. So, they're really just meeting the only needs they feel they can meet, their primal drives, and basic thinking needs, in a way that gives comfort. 
Meeting our primal drives is something we must always do, although we can override them at any time with our thoughts or our higher awareness. A human will instinctively feel the need to run away from something, but their mind may step in and tell them that they don't need to, either because they're allowed to stay, or think they deserve to stay, or what would others think  etc., or something along those lines, which allows them to override their primal drives. And they could actually stay there and end up in grave danger. Simply because they ignored or overrode their primal operating system signals to instead meet the needs of their thinking mind.
Interestingly, contrary to the belief that we should hold onto pain to teach us something or keep us from doing it again, your primal mind wants to forget pain. Tell me the time before the last that you experienced minor physical pain. It's your thinking mind that wants to hold onto emotional pain, and memories, because it has an agenda that it uses them for, and it thinks that it can keep you safe by doing so. The primal mind, nor the higher mind, wants to consciously remember any pain of any kind. 

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Survival
Air Water Food, Sleep, Procreation, Minimum Effort. Also Masculine competition for domination or Heirachy, mainly to be selected as a mate by a female.
Our main, basest level need, is our need for basic survival. This is our primal drive. We are still basically cave men and women. Our primal drive, and therefore our primal need, is for survival, above anything else (although this can be overridden by the thinking mind). Survival is really about Air, Water, Food, Sleep, Procreation, Competition (between men) and all other bodily requirements and functions. It also gravitates towards what I call “Minimum Effort”. This is because the mind needs to have as much resources as possible available to it at any time to evaluate our surroundings and keep us safe. So that if any form of attack or danger were to come, it could take care of us. Remember, we are still programmed in the same basic way that we were when we lived in caves, and everything else was trying to add us to their menu. 
Would you design a computer to use the most resources, or the least, to accomplish any task? That is why we only experience what we focus on, and it's not that the mind filters everything else out as many think. The mind is only vaguely aware of everything other than what it deems to need its attention, either subconsciously or consciously. Yes the mind can be aware of far more subconsciously then it can consciously, but it still only gives attention to what it sees as the most likely challenges to its safety, unless it is in procreation mode, or on what you consciously direct it to focus on.
Because of this, we will basically only ever do what we need to do, simply because we are wired to conserve resources, and to make sure that we have enough attention and enough awareness to be able to survive. So we are inherently lazy, and it requires conscious choice to override this challenge. As an example, words do not have to be spelt right, or even be in the right order, for the mind to read them. It has strategies to minimise processing power for anything it can, to make sure the most amount of resources are left available at all times. 
Procreation is the drive to have sex to procreate the species. This is the basic urge created by energy building up in the system that requires orgasm to dissipate. The orgasm is a very high experience of the higher self, so this very base need can bring on a very high level experience for a very brief time. If un-managed can become an obsession because of the pleasurable experience and distraction it offers to those who don't have issues attached to it. Sex with intimacy creates uncertainty (which is why many people are uncomfortable with it). Sex without intimacy is simply for comfort, if a child is not sought from the coupling.
Men are also driven to competition for the attention of women, so they are chosen by a female. Sorry guys, but women choose men, not the other way around as your ego will tell you it is. This creates a constant need in men for hierarchy, especially with other men.

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Comfort
Dryness, Heat, Association (Tribal), Includes Simplicity & doing the Bare Minimum in Mind & Body. 
Our next evolutionary need was comfort. Once we basically knew how to survive, we continued to evolve, and then started to seek dryness, and then heat. We also started to seek association. And the association is really a tribal drive. This association initially was really to make sure that we could remain safe and survive easier. Association creates a sense of comfort and safety. In times of hardship and struggle we help each other because we are drawn to by our underlying primal drive for community, which helps with safety. This applies to gangs and all forms of groups or 'tribes' in society. 

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The Needs of The Thinking Mind
Traits of the thinking mind are - Left Brain, Thinking - Imagining addiction, Subconscious - Conscious thought, Created Emotions, Fear Driven - Away from or Avoiding Pain, Dedicated to Understanding - Conceptualising - Escaping - Getting - Striving, Selfish - Self-Focused, Holds on Tight, Justifies - Rationalises, Emotional Safety - Comfort Based Pain Avoidance  etc.

The needs of the thinking mind are the just the needs of the self.
		
	The needs of the thinking mind are - Certainty (that we can basically remain safe), Connection (for safety and self-validation), Significance (self-importance - self-validation), and Satisfaction (the highest emotion experienced by the thinking mind) and is experienced as pleasure. We are all driven continuously to try to fulfill these needs, and will at least meet the needs of Certainty, Connection and Significance (with only the self if necessary).
These low-level needs are responsible for what I call public identity and victim identity. Whether we actually try to fulfill or avoid the needs of the higher self, depends on our quality of thought, amount of imagination indulged in, and quality of reasoning. Which is all driven initially by the concept of self and level of perceive self-worth.
Certainty and connection are about emotional safety and comfort, based on pain avoidance. Significance and satisfaction are really about control and satisfaction driven, striving. The thinking mind and the primal operating system are fear driven, away from fear or to avoid perceived pain. The thinking process is really just about satisfaction one way or another. It's also about escaping, getting or striving. So, the thinking mind is about created emotions, understanding, and conceptualising. It's all about understanding and conceptualising. This is subconscious, and conscious thought (which is when the right brain gives its awareness to the thoughts). It's also responsible for imagination. The thinking mind is selfish and self-focused. It's also hard to let go of because of the rationalisations and the justifications that the thinking mind indulges in, which ultimately keep it trapped.
Survival and comfort (through certainty) and satisfaction, meeting the basic primal needs, equals survive and thrive to the thinking mind. 

Connection = self validation
significance = self-importance

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Self-Safety - Certainty
That you can stay Safe & Comfortable. Gives the illusion of control for Safety & Comfort.
The next level need in the evolution of consciousness, the first level need of the thinking mind, is the need for certainty. And it's really about certainty that we can be safe and comfortably survive. This again is about the self. The next need that evolved in us was a need for connection. And this is more than just a need for a tribal connection, in that we have people around us to help us be safe. This is really connection for self-validation or validation of the concept of self. This is connection with others to feel that we are real, and to work out how to define ourselves. A lot of people believe that they're connecting with people and doing things for others out of a desire to serve, or to be unselfish and give unconditionally. Almost always it's about the validation of self. We often give just to get. Even if it's just to feel a certain way about ourselves. Or to have the illusion that they think a certain way about us. It's basically a selfish drive, as are all basic needs of the thinking mind. Although there are different level vehicles to use, being kind to somebody to feel good about yourself is better than hurting people to feel less pain over yourself, or have a sense of power. The much higher drive of Contribution Beyond Self is actually not truly experienced by many.
The need for Certainty drives people to usually only closely or intimately associate with those at or near their own perceived level of awareness. If you look at levels of awareness as a 1 to 10 system of measurement, then an awareness of 6 would only intimately associate with 5’s or 6’s and perhaps 7’s if they are starting to evolve to perhaps a 6.5, unless the person gets self-validation from being a rescuer. It would become scary for most to go beyond this level of association otherwise. So if you think you are really different from those you associate with or intimately relate to, think again. You can see this measurement system in action when people idolise celebrities and become nervous or scared in their presence. They subconsciously see them as higher on the scale, and become scared of their own exposure, or sense of lower significance, in front of them.
Everyone needs a sense of certainty to have a sense of safety — a perception of knowing what’s going to happen that keeps us from feeling totally at the mercy of outside forces. Your thinking mind needs to be able to evaluate everything it thinks may happen, so it can have certainty it can do its job and protect you. If you cannot control your physical circumstances to the degree you want, you might turn to imposing your beliefs on others as the only way to gain certainty — you might join a religious or military group where they provide your perceived certainty through tight structure. Certainty for most people is about avoiding fear, and is really driven by fear — usually the type created by the thinking mind (generated/simulated fear). 
Growth is change, and if you associate loss of certainty to personal change, then change will create fear, and growth will therefore be avoided, even if you think you are going for growth. Your need for certainty is just the thinking mind’s fear manifesting in you. Control is often a vehicle for attempting to get certainty, and is just fear manifesting externally. The thinking mind thinks that with enough control, perhaps you can control everything, and never be triggered into your own discomfort or uncertainty by others. Thus avoiding pain and fulfilling its prime directive of keeping you safe. People who are the most controlling will have experienced a very high lack of certainty and perceived control in their life, and perhaps still do. Even if they don't, indulging in the illusion of control will bring this fear about.
I am sorry I have to tell you this, but all external control is an illusion (and so is most perceived internal control). It is an attempt to stop the external world triggering internal torment, which is just your torment over yourself. A need for security based on certainty will encourage fear, not only for yourself, but it will also cause it to be a greater possibility for others, including your children. You will be helping to create the same trap for them. The  person indulging in the needs and behaviours associated with certainty is usually mostly unconscious of them. However the need for certainty is often easy to see if you consciously look and practice using open self-inquiry, with no judgement. 
	As an example of the power this need for certainty has over the mind, if hating yourself is the only way to define yourself, you will subconsciously, and even consciously, do things to cause yourself to hate yourself, so you can have certainly over who you think you are. Certainty equals perceived stability to the thinking mind, and stability gives the illusion of less fear of uncertainty.

Emotional comfort/safety.

The more attracted to certainty you are, the more survival and ego driven you will be.

Being in extremes of certainty and uncertainty will cause fear. Some certainty is required to pacify the primal mind, and that can come from Conscious attention and Conscious challenge solving.

Because of the need for certainty, if the thinking mind is not involved in solving a perceived problem, it is involved in looking for a perceived problem.

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Self-Validation - Connection
Interaction for Self-Validation. Contribution for Return & Gain. Rules Based Conditional Love’.
This level of connection is really about validating the self. It's not about true love and compassion. It manifests in many forms, and can come through a simple sense of belonging. Some find it in the close interaction with friends or associates, or even strangers. Or when you get praise for something you do or say, or when you think someone is thinking something about you that you would like them to think (which is of course an illusion). Some get it by having an aggressive emotionally charged argument, or through affiliation with a group or association, even a street gang, or a suicide cell. Some settle for basic connection (interacting with people you like, or that you have things in common with), as they may not believe they deserve love or compassion, or have no real idea what it is. 
The thinking mind wants connection for validation, and the higher self is drawn to compassion and love. Some people may feel connection with themselves through self-pity, feeling sorry for themselves, or connection with others through their pity. Connection, as long as it is companied by compassion and caring for another’s needs, is ok. It is through connection with others that we learn the most about ourselves, our processes, beliefs, rules, expectations and values, if of course, we are using conscious self-inquiry to learn about our patterns and processes, with no judgement. Through this learning, we can help the subconscious mind to discover its own way out of suffering or torment. This will happen if you view your interactions with others as learning experiences, and do not spend any time focusing on how to change the other person, or yourself, or preventing your own processes and reactions from being triggered. That would be feeding the low-level need of certainty through attempted control. There will be no growth through this approach, and it is fear-based. When connection ends it can be seen as devaluation through rejection, which is how you know it is connection for validation. 
How would you feel in any situation of connection if they did not validate you? If the answer is anything but 'absolutely neutral', you are at least partially looking for validation. This means that you are still strongly associated to the illusion of a self.

needs- self validation plus approval.

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Self-Importance - Significance - Self-Centeredness
Self-Value & Self Importance. Gives the illusion of more Control, believing it helps to keep you safe. Likes Complexity & Focuses on Detail.
Self-importance (significance) is just a higher level of self validation. Everyone needs to feel worthwhile, special, or important in some way to placate the thinking mind — to be legitimised so you feel like your self matters. Some people gain significance from themselves through self-esteem, empowering values, and the caring treatment of themselves and others. Whilst others gain significance from dysfunctional actions like being a bully or an oppressor. Being significantly good, significantly bad, or significantly ill or sick, can still bring a sense of self-importance. Your level of awareness and quality of thought will dictate the type of vehicle you’re most likely to use to achieve a sense of self-importance. Some gain significance by being significantly angry, unhappy, tattooed, pierced, slim, fat, attractive, unattractive, healthy, fit, spiritual, intelligent, having a great life, having a bad life etc. You name it and someone has gained the illusion of significance through it. Significance for a higher-level person is experienced through their own perceived self-worth, and not through validation from anywhere else. A highly aware person will never seek significance because they see the illusion of it, and that it is just validating the illusion of a separate self, which is the problem to start with.

The thinking mind tends to identify with the things that give it the most perceived sense of significance. Body, money, sex, smartness/intelect, suffering etc.

Self-importance  (causes the 14 errors) find the 14 errors from Peter.
- setting up standards of right and wrong and expecting everybody to conform to them.
- Assuming others should like enjoy the same things that you do.
- Expecting others to hold the same opinion as you will cause you and others to suffer. 
  This is just an attempt by the self and the ego to feel right.
- To try to change when you cannot change, or worry about anything you cannot immediately make a choice over.
- Expecting children or people with less experience in any area to know better. This just triggers emotions of inadequacy
  which fuels the problem, it does not present a solution. Try to see it as they might, and help them move from where they are 
  in their understanding and experience.
- trying to get others to become the way you think they should be, or want them to be.
- Not doing something that you see needs to be done to help others, or yourself.
- Not helping others when you can.
- Not allowing others to have perceived weaknesses, and accepting them as they are.

If most people were honest, they would admit that they only ask how people are so they can tell their story, as a away to self validate. The honest statement would be "Hi, how are you today, I'm not really interested, I just want to tell you what's wrong in my life." or, "I just want to find out how I can help you so you think nice things about me which validates me, and for a short time I can feel good about myself."

You can only experience significance in comparison to others. You can only see yourself as significant in comparison to others if you believe yourself to be separate from others, which is indulgence in your concept of self. This brings with it all the suffering that comes over the concept of self.

When self-esteem is confused with self-importance, it becomes arrogance.

Indulging in ego or any level of self-importance brings with it a failure of intelligence through unconsciousness. When you are attached to anything, it brings ego and self-importance to bear. 

Significant and self-importance includes the need for recognition.

If you indulge your concept of self-importance, you will continue to experience conflict and suffering, and you will not experience freedom from the concept of the self, and therefore you will not awaken.

The need to be perceived as spiritual is just another manifestation of the need for significance and self-importance.
The need for self-importance is a psychological condition. Psychology can only create psychological states, it cannot create spiritual states.

Self-importance can be experienced through extreme subservience and victim-hood.

Self-importance also creates possessiveness and insecurity.

Selfishness and self-centredness create the need for control. Selfishness hurts or affects others, whereas self-centredness is always focusing on the self, comparing everything to you, or working out how everything relates to you. How can you be selfless when there is a self measuring and always doing things to satiate self. There is nothing wrong with being self-centred, just be fully aware that your self-centred. Become aware of the first underlying thought the mind experiences and not the ones that follow that trying to adjust the perception of the original self-centred thinking so self abuse does not follow. This awareness will help to set you become free from this kind of suffering. 

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Satisfaction - Perceived Pleasure
The Highest Emotion Created by the Thinking Mind. Experienced as Pleasure. Gives the Illusion of Happiness.
Satisfaction is the highest level need of the thinking mind, and is really what is mistaken for pleasure. Put in another way, the highest experience that the thinking mind can have is satisfaction. So, the best you can experience just through thought, or aquiring external stuff or position etc. is satisfaction. It's not, as a lot of people think, happiness. Satisfaction is most often experienced by meeting most or all the other needs of the thinking mind. And if certainty has been met, then the primal needs have been met also. Satisfaction is always short lived, simply because the thinking mind then needs to start working on anything else it thinks it needs to resolve to avoid the fear that drives it. It also needs to keep your attention away from your higher mind, and use imagination to give you the illusion of the higher mind being used, or that you are experiencing things at a higher level. And it is only doing this under the illusion that it can keep you safe by doing so. It's not your enemy, it's simply trying to keep you and its illusion of a separate self safe. It is at least a higher level experience than thinking generated fear, and moving towards the desire for new experiences that can give you satisfaction, opens you up to experience in a higher way. As long as it is not just to meet your lower needs and avoid fear.

Striving and achieving can help you feel better about your self through experiencing satisfaction, but cannot give you freedom from the self.

If something relieves fear and brings satisfaction, it can be perceived as experiencing happiness.

Satisfaction includes pleasure seeking. We need pleasure, but if it is a craving or an obsession that will cause suffering, to ourselves or others. Pleasure is an easy way to get distracted. Indulging in any kind of pleasure too much can make you ignorant and dull-minded. The opposite of pleasure is abstinence. Abstinence can also be a way of hiding from experiences and uncertainty and can bring satisfaction. It can cause people to become inverted/introvert, any move away from almost anything enjoyable, in the hope that there will be no need to experience anything negative by not experiencing anything at all. These people will often try to stop others from enjoying themselves as well, so that it stops the sense of innate discomfort that they feel through avoiding experiences. These people may earn a lot of money, but will not enjoy it or allow others to enjoy it. If abstinence of anything is a craving or obsession, it will cause suffering as it has become an attachment

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The Needs of The Higher Mind
Traits of the Higher Mind are - Right Brain, Experiential, Conscious Thought, Intuitive, Feeling, Happiness, Acceptance, Embracing, Surrender - Non-Attachment, True Comfort with Uncertainty, Draws to Accelerated Growth, Wants to Feel great. At even higher levels, No Separation, More Present, Purely Experiential, Opportunity to Experience Divine Self, Joy - Bliss, Peace, True Self-Acceptance, Close to Experiencing Consciousness, true Oneness.
	
The needs of the higher mind are - Variety (new experiences), Constant Growth (allowing life to guide you and through making conscious choices), Faith (in universal influence), Integrity (true internal honesty), Humility (little or no desire for self importance) - And at the higher levels -  Contribution Beyond Oneself (true unconditional giving), Total Acceptance (of life and physical existence), Unconditional Love (the true Divine connection).
On a basic level, higher consciousness enters this physical world through the right brain, so higher consciousness manifests in your physical world through the experiential right brain hemisphere. When you actually get out of the way and stop trying to make things happen to meet your left brain selfish needs or neediness, then life can present you with what you require to continue to evolve. All lower level needs can be met by a high-level awareness.
This is where our true emotions of Happiness, Awe, Excitement, Compassion, and perhaps Sadness, are generated.

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Variety (Uncertainty) 
New & Different Experiences for Learning & Growth. Comfort with Uncertainty Encourages Trust & Faith. 
Variety means to do different things, be open to, and consciously seek out new experiences. Some people get variety through change of environment, varied physical activities or entertainment. Others might find it through mood swings, sexual partners, or a variety of foods. People who use certainty as a vehicle are usually frightened in some way by change. Variety involves uncertainty, and uncertainty opens you up to variety, which opens the door to experiencing spontaneity and true happiness. Happiness is experienced partly through being able to allow any moment to bring what it needs to bring to you, spontaneously. To be open to spontaneous variety is a path to higher awareness, to feelings of freedom and joy. It means allowing universal influence to guide your actions and progress, rather than you controlling that process. Allowing and embracing uncertainty is a prerequisite for true growth. 
Without different experiences happening in your life, it would be almost impossible to grow. Life is about growth, whether you choose it, or whether it needs to be forced upon you by universal influence. The level of uncertainty you experience in any moment will dictate the level of freedom and fearlessness you experience in any moment, and the less certainty you need, the less there will be to fear in any experience. Embrace uncertainty, and recognise that control is an illusion. A need for high levels of certainty can only cause you suffering, whilst uncertainty can bring you freedom.
I believe that the ‘undirected’ thinking mind will always choose its two top needs, certainty and significance, as default priorities, because it perceives them as the only path to avoiding external and internal pain. Since the thinking mind is a fear-based mechanism designed to protect you, if you do not become conscious of your thoughts and direct them away from subconscious pain avoidance thinking, you’ll constantly live in some form of fear. If you bring your children up to look for certainty and/or significance, you will be bringing them up to be fearful. The top three needs of the thinking mind dictate how most people behave, and the kind of personalities they use or create. This will only change when they raise their conscious thinking to a level of awareness and quality of reasoning where they can start to embrace uncertainty, through different experiences, as a way of experiencing more freedom. 
Be aware which of these four thinking mind needs your behaviour is trying to satisfy in any moment. If you become aware that you are doing something because of a need for certainty or significance, then use your higher voice of reasoning to decide on, and direct yourself to use, a more supportive approach. One that brings on a higher level, better quality experience. Embrace uncertainty and aim higher than just connection. Practise letting go of your need to be perceived in any particular way, by your self or others, and thereby minimising the use of your public identity ideal image, and your attachment to a self.
My willingness to experience uncertainty on a moment by moment basis, means that when an opportunity arises that can really benefit my experiential life (as it does consistently), I can take it, because the need for certainty won't stop me. This is because I consistently practice consciously allowing the experience of uncertainty, and am therefore comfortable with it. Comfort with variety/uncertainty allows spontaneity. People who embrace variety of experience and uncertainty, will experience far more growth than those who resist and go for certainty through control. 

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Constant Growth (Through Conscious choice)
Life Provides Regular Opportunities for this. Always be Open to Learning Optimistically.
Consciously choose how you would like to feel at any moment. And only focus or give your attention to those things that will allow you to feel that way. Constant growth is about choosing to grow, not being forced.
In life there is no true status quo. Either something is growing or dying, learning or stagnating, becoming freer or feeling more trapped. One of the drives of the higher mind is constant growth, but this is by choice. In nature, anything that is not growing is dying. That’s it. There are no exceptions! Growth is about evolving your perception, it brings movement towards an outcome or a change in the way something is done, viewed or perceived. You are always growing, though not always in the direction you want. Be aware that change and growth is a given, but growth in an uplifting way is not. You will grow in the direction of your regular approaches and choices (conscious or non-conscious), and what you regularly focus on (give your attention to perceptually). And that will not necessarily be an uplifting or empowering direction. Which way are you growing? If you do not have an outcome in mind for the way you want to grow, how can you know when you are heading in an uplifting or disempowering direction? 
Constant growth by choice means life is not forcing you to grow in this way. It means you're choosing to look at ways to feel better. And be genuinely happier by the choices you make about your perception and what you do. In the moment, not at any other time just in the moment, because now is all that exists. If you are stuck in the mind still, the only way you can feel good is through the perceptual and physical choices you make right now. Because the quality of your life is how you feel right now. So, the choices you make right now are the only things that will have an affect on your experience of your self and life right now. And this takes conscious awareness. By this I mean the ability to choose to be consciously aware of what's happening in any moment. 
Speed of growth in your chosen direction is partly a choice. You will eventually reach a point where the only way to grow further is to truly contribute to something bigger than your self (and not for personal gain), to relinquish your public identity (so-called ego). This transformation comes about through making higher awareness choices, as does growing in your compassion for others, for your self, and for any other entity. We all have an equal opportunity to consciously direct our approach and focus, grow in awareness, and raise our ability to reason, because these advances are not dictated by the physical, material world. Effort is required in the external world and is evaluated by external achievement. Personal growth is internal, and awakening cannot come through striving, only through what you are prepared to let go of, including your attachment to a self. It is all about your perceptions of your self, and the meanings you apply to your self over the objects of your attention, using your direction and quality of reasoning, that create your experience of reality. People who are sincerely interested in growth will always grow quicker, because our higher mind is drawn to seek growth, and life is designed to offer us the constant opportunity for growth. So aligning with universal influence will greatly enhance your evolution of consciousness.

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Faith, Trust & Integrity
Life ALWAYS Supports & Provides exactly what is needed to Continue Evolving Towards Reintegration with The One. 
I could have made this hierarchy of needs quite long and more complex, which it actually is, however I've bunched some of these together for simplicity. I felt that it was only important to show the things that will really make a difference to the majority of the readers. Very few people will actually experience true faith, true integrity and true humility at the moment. 
Being involved in organised religion, or the military, are the same kind of thinking processes. They are basically an attempt to get certainty. If you feel certain that something can protect you, or tell you what choices to make, it is very different than having true faith and trust. By true faith and trust, I mean faith and trust in creation. Faith and trust that everything that happens is happening for a reason. And that everything that happens is happening to help you evolve. No matter what happens, there is always a learning experience in it. When you know this — when you innately feel this, because it's your actual level of awareness, then everything you do — everything that happens, you know there's a supportive reason for it. You also know and trust that it's happening for your benefit - long-term. 
Everything that happens with others is designed to help you have awareness of your self. When you really know this and you live like this, then everything is a gift. Everything can be enjoyed, no matter what it is. You always know that if you can't see the benefit of it right now, at some point it will become available to you. Because everything happens for a reason, and nothing in creation is about punishment or retribution. 
When you have true faith and trust, you a have true knowing that life is designed to support you. We're all part of the same one entity. Hurting one, hurts everyone. When you hurt another person, you hurt yourself. When you're kind to another, you're kind to yourself. When you really know this — when you really have a knowing of the connection that you have with everything, you will treat other people very differently. No matter what they may be saying or doing that triggers your self generated stuff. 
Integrity is True Internal Self Honesty, which is reflected into the external world as external honesty. You only really need to be honest with your self, as that is all you are dealing with anyway. Truth to the individual is never about the other, or the external world, it is always about you and your perception. You do not need to accept others, only you. Internal truth and self-acceptance is essential for internal peace. Then you may transcend the illusion of a self.

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True Contribution Beyond Oneself
with NO Expectation, Desire, or Need for ANY return. NO Evaluating or 
Defining of Self by the giving, or the External World. True Selflessness.

It is not what we get but what we contribute that gives meaning to our lives.
     --  ‘Anthony (Tony) Robbins’	

Contribution Beyond Yourself - There is nothing in this world that lives for its own sake. Other than the 'Self' governing the thinking mind, Everything contributes in some way to its environment. Otherwise, it becomes extinct. Contribution (service to others or a cause greater than yourself) is actually a gateway to true happiness and personal fulfillment. You must give to receive. If you inhale but refused to exhale, your experience of life in the moment will become uncomfortable at the very least. If you have a problem and there appears to be no solution, find others with the same problem and help them in any way you can. If your eyesight is failing as an example, help others who are having problems with their eyesight in any way you can, and your situation would be alleviated, if you genuinely help others with a desire to help them, not just the desire to receive help in doing so.
Also when you contribute to a cause outside of yourself, an opportunity appears for you to eventually leave behind the experience of being a separate entity, to become part of something bigger, and experience your re-connection to oneness. Self-less contribution can also help fulfill the other, lower-level needs: certainty, significance (self-worth in this example), connection, variety (uncertainty), growth and love.  Therefore, contribution, as long as it is truly selfless, can actually help you meet all of your needs at a high level.  

Everyone has the power of greatness, not fame, but greatness. Because greatness is determined by service.
    -- ‘Dr Martin Luther King’	

You only really receive by giving. What you receive depends on what you give. Individuals contributing in some way to the welfare of the whole group, govern the success of a society. We are actually not designed to be solitary creatures because we are tribal. Those who consistently take and give little or nothing in return are always the unhappiest and the least fulfilled. We have to return to supporting each other, and stop taking care of only our self-focused selves, in order to have a better society. Happiness is also something you attract, so become a happy person and more happiness will be attracted to you.
I hear people saying things like “Well, what can I do?” If they were totally honest, they really mean “What can I do that will get me public praise or recognition; otherwise, I don’t want to do anything.” There is not a single person in this world who cannot do something to help another. Even a small friendly gesture could maybe help someone get through a day a little easier, or sleep better for just one night, doesn’t it with you? It doesn’t matter what it is. It’s not the size of the act that counts, and it need not be money, just the act of selfless giving itself. If everyone in the world were to actively practise compassionate generosity just once a day, more often than they normally do, we would be living in a different world.
Next time you visit someone, take something with you. The excuse that you don’t have money to give is no longer a reason based on what I’m about to say. Money is just a form of energy, and energy can come in many forms. A gift can be a flower, or a nice note, a word of praise, a compliment, an offer to carry someone’s bag without being asked, or to open the door for them, whatever. Even a big smile when you might normally not have one to give can leave a lasting impression and help to create change. Your gift doesn’t have to cost a single penny. As long as it’s given as a gift, and from the heart, with no expectation of anything in return, not even a thank you, that’s all that matters. Do you like it when someone gives you a sincere compliment, or praise, or a nice note, a flower, or a smile? If so, then you know it can lift your energy, affecting others in turn as you pass on the energy of that deed. There is always a ripple effect, like dropping a stone in a pond. So just do it — be selflessly generous — and it will cause you to feel good about yourself. Do it every day for a month and see the difference it makes to you personally. Remember, it needn’t cost you a penny. In fact, once your imagination starts in this direction, you’ll realise there are many gifts you can give that don’t involve money. Give because you want to give — without trying to work out what the other will think about it, and you will get more than you can imagine in return. Your heart will start to flower even more, and help to raise your awareness. Give this gift of giving to yourself, you deserve it.

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Total Acceptance & Love
The true path back to Divine Connection - the true self - the One.
Total acceptance is about totally accepting who, and what, you are, and that everything happens for a reason. That everything happens for the benefit of the whole. And you're a part of that whole, so everything that happens is for your (long-term) benefit as well.
When you have total acceptance, there is no longer struggle. There is only peace and choices, because you can only be as you are, and life is about choices. I realise now that in all the years I worked to change to gain acceptance (ultimately of my self), I've never changed, and looking back now, I've never needed to change, nor could I. There was nothing to change, only accept. Through acceptance my concept of my self adjusted in a way that enabled a relaxing of the fear driven strangle hold the thinking mind had on me, until finally I became free of the illusion that I was that thinking illusion of a self. How I think of my self, from a conceptual perspective, as that is all there is now, has changed, and I've always been this entity that is not that self. This was always available to me, I was always like this, but I couldn't see it, because I was blinded by believing I was my thinking concept of my self. 
True love is really a sense of very deep compassion. True love is the energy that is life force. A need for love, self-love (for the physical, thinking entity that you are in this journey) and love for others, is critical to a well-balanced life. Without self-love and compassion for yourself, you may feel like you have no real purpose in life. Love is the highest expression of life. As long as the drive towards love is not overridden by the needs of the thinking mind, you will be driven towards showing and experiencing love in your life. I will talk much more about love later.

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4 - What Creates Our Experience Of Reality

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We All Have Multiple Personalities

A personality is really just a ‘state’ that we are in at any particular time. Personalities give the information required to be able to describe a stimulus to our self, which gives information to the reasoning process so it has something to reason with, or over. Your active personality in any moment therefore dictates how you experience any stimulus. Particular personalities will display themselves through unique combinations of beliefs and behavioural traits. Behaviours are basically a direct result of the personality you are in at any given time, which also incorporates your approach or attitude, plus it engenders the quality of reasoning during the time you are in that state. Personalities have an effect on reasoning because all of the traits of a personality effect the information your mind reasons with. Your reasoning will support your personality approach whether it is an empowering approach or not. You need the information from the personality so reasoning can use that to come up with a conclusion, which is the description you give your self about what you are perceiving through any particular personality, which creates what it means 'to' your self or 'over' your self. 
Each personality has either a slightly, or very different; Agenda - Motivation - Need - Purpose, Approach - Attitude, Focus, Language Pattern (words & tonality etc.), Physiology (body language), Expectations, Beliefs, Attachments - Associations - Relationships, Perspective, Assumptions & Projections, Habits & Behaviours, Standards, Rules & Values, Resources, and of course Justifications (of all the other traits of that personality). I will go into each of these in detail shortly.
We all have multiple personalities for each identity we use. They give us adaptability and flexibility, and they are mainly created to deal with external conditions, events, situations and interactions. Each identity has a set of personalities that are accessed and used when functioning through that particular identity. Interestingly, when there is a crossover of personalities — i.e. when a similar personality is used by two different identities — a possible changeover of identity can occur. As an example, suppose you are functioning through public identity during an interaction, and you become defensive. A personality has come forward, which has a vehicle of blame, and an approach of anger associated to it. This same personality may be one that the victim identity uses to deal with a similar situation, or interaction. Therefore, if you are in that personality in public identity, and you are not aware of the shift in how it feels, you could cross over and start functioning through the victim identity instead. Then you could deteriorate into self-pity, because victim-hood is all about getting emotionally safe. You can also create 'public' victim identity personalities, which use your suffering as a vehicle to gain pity or attention from others. 
The personalities you have used most in the last six months will be your most prominent personalities at the moment, your defaults. The more you indulge a personality in its traits, the stronger it becomes, and therefore, the less you indulge a personality and its traits, the weaker it becomes. Every element or trait of a personality can be held by another personality, therefore each conscious adjustment to a different approach or conscious selection of a personality trait, can help to move you into another, more supportive personality.
To explain the concept of how personalities work, imagine a group of different people, all lined up at the back of a stage, all waiting for a simple sign that it is their turn to step forward and take the stage (control of your perception). Only one can step onto centre stage at any one time. They may be able to swap who is centre stage very quickly, but there is only one personality (state with certain traits and behaviours) centre stage at any time. Each will only come forward when its traits or behaviours are most required, which is usually decided at the time by your subconscious thinking. The personality that relates most to the situation or interaction you are in, or perceive your self to be in, will push to the front (take centre stage, so to speak), or it pushes its way forward because it has been so well practised and conditioned, if of course there is no pressing need for another personality. If you are not consciously choosing which personality you want to use, the subconscious mind will choose for you. 
If just some of the traits or behaviours of a personality are needed, then there will be another personality that embodies just those traits or behaviours. It will bring with it the other traits that come with that personality, and they will effect you in those moments also, and perhaps may even cause you to spiral up or down slightly emotionally, which could cause you to move into another slightly higher or lower quality personality. Emotions are ultimately generated by the personality selected, so there are emotionally higher and lower level personalities. You are always moving up or down the emotional quality scale of personalities, either a little, or a long way. 
Often people can be in a good state and then hours or perhaps days later, they suddenly realise they are feeling pretty bad, and assume it has just come upon them. Usually it is a process of spiraling down through personalities, which allows them to slip down a succession of increasingly lower level personalities, until suddenly the emotional state they are in becomes strong enough to get their attention. It is unlikely this has only just happened, and it is an important thing to understand. That way you can become conscious of it happening, and direct yourself out of it sooner and sooner, each time it happens. If you visualise hundreds of personalities in a line on the stage, going from one end, positive and uplifting, down to the other end, pessimistic and disempowering, or even destructive. If you take any personality, say the one in the middle, then see to the left a line of ever decreasing emotional quality personalities. Then to its right, an ever increasing quality of personality. The one to its left is just slightly lower, and the one to its right, just slightly higher in quality. It only takes a little, barely noticeable shift to move left to the lower level personality, and then a little shift again to move lower still, and then again etc. This can happen progressively without you noticing it, until it does get your attention. Then you could be quite a way from the middle, and now have a long way to go back to just be centered. The sooner you can become aware of this slip happening, the sooner you can redirect and move back up to a higher functioning personality. Remember that Awareness is everything on your journey to awakening.
If you do not have a personality to fit an event, situation, or interaction, say you start a new job, your thinking mind will subconsciously create one with the right agenda, approach, and other traits, to fill the gap. This is the evolution of personalities and how they come about. Once a personality has been created, it will always be available to you. When you can become an observer of your thoughts and actions, instead of being totally involved in them all the time, you will start to see the different traits and behaviours of your different personalities. You will see how you can be hooked into certain behaviours by triggers that bring out the personalities that use those behaviours and traits, beliefs etc. Accept that they are unique personalities with unique patterns of behaviour for dealing with specific events, situations and interactions. When you can expand your awareness of how your mind operates, you will be able to view your own multiple personalities, and see how they have evolved to support your identities, and your perception of life, and of course, your self. 
When people talk about behaviours they would like to change or eradicate, they are usually talking about one or another of their personalities. These personalities have been built up over many, many years of experience and personal evolution. Every one of them has at some time been very useful, and probably will be again, and some of its traits could be harnessed by a new personality that you will need in the future. These personalities also support other personalities in a complicated network. Erasing parts of, or full personalities would serve no functional purpose. If a personality no longer serves you, simply recognise when it is coming forward, and consciously choose to bring forward another one that serves you better, by changing personality elements like your approach, focus, language or physiology etc. As an example, where I grew up, violence was common, and I used to spend a lot of time in a personality that allowed me to appear intimidating to others. This personality saved me from a great many fights when I was younger. 
I also had a personality that could be violent if I needed it to be, by manifesting and harnessing my anger as fuel. Although this is certainly not a personality I would like to have taking part in my everyday approach to life now, if I, or any person close to me was being, or was about to be, attacked, I would certainly want access to this personality/state. It and others could be lifesaving at some point. I certainly value these personalities, accepting that they are just a small part of this physical minds makeup, and not all of what it is capable of. 
Having said that, I certainly don’t want them to be personalities that are able to pop up whenever they choose. I don’t want these types of personalities to be my default approach to life and other people. As the observer of my mind, whenever I see the traits of these or other undesirable personalities starting to manifest or come forward, I simply realign my awareness, and approach whatever it is that has my attention, in another way. I consciously choose a personality that will serve me more resourcefully at that moment. You have a personality for sadness, anger, bitterness, resentment, frustration, when you are at work, when you are with friends, or driving, and literally thousands of other. When you enter a particular state, you feel the associated created emotions, and if an external stimulus triggers you into feeling one of these emotions, it will draw you into the personality associated the most to that, or those emotions.
Agenda (motivation - need), approach and focus, are usually the main elements that dictate the personality that is accessed, although language can also be the hook that changes a personality. Notice the change in you when you start talking about different subjects, especially when gossiping or complaining. Become consciously aware of the changes in your approach, focus, tonality and body language as the personality changes, and recognise that you can consciously redirect your mind to choose a different approach and focus, in ways that can quickly change the personality that is pre-eminent at any time. This is very important to understand: to quickly change a personality, you must be consciously directing your mind to change all the strongest elements of a personality - agenda, approach, focus, language, and body language, to effectively change a state fast. You can change your personality to one that is calm or confident whenever you want to, simply by adopting the agenda (motivation), approach, focus and physiology that is in line with a calm or confident state. 
If you don’t have a calm, confident personality like this, or one that will help you feel better in the required situation, create one. I will show you how to do this shortly. Practice consciously and consistently choosing the personalities you want to experience reality through as often as you can, and condition them through repetition, so they can become your more pre-eminent personality or personalities. Accept that other personalities are there for a reason, and consciously access them, or allow them to come forward, only when they are most needed. 
No matter what happens, make sure that there is full self-acceptance and forgiveness of self at all times. The personality you are in at any time is a choice you make, either subconsciously, or consciously when you can. It probably doesn’t feel like you can choose them at times. In fact, you may feel a victim of these personalities most of the time, and think you have no choice over them. The more conscious of your self and your thinking you become, the more choice you will have. 
Acceptance of personalities, is just as important, if not more important, than being able to direct them. As an example, I have a particular personality that I use when I’m in a hurry to do something. This personality is very direct and straightforward. It is very focused and knows what needs to be done. When I’m in this personality, I’m not the best person to try to have a conversation with, because that is not the motivation (agenda), approach, or focus of this personality. 
I love talking to people, but not in this personality, this ‘state’. That is not its purpose. Its purpose is to get done what needs to be done in the allotted time. I recognise that the traits and behaviours that come with this personality can come across as abrupt to some, but I accept it because I know this personality is effective at doing what needs to be done in a hurry. I just excuse myself, and go about my business. As soon as the task is done, I change my motivation (agenda), approach (attitude), focus, language pattern and body language, to one that will allow me to feel the way I want to feel, calm and at peace. I don’t judge my self for how I am when I am in any particular personality because there is no longer the illusion of a self to judge. I accept that personalities are what they are. 
When dealing with certain personalities that can be destructive, I make sure I am aware of the traits that come with them. When I recognise that they are present, or emerging, I look at why they might be needed right then. At the same time I am consciously choosing how I look at whatever has my attention, so I can choose how to direct my minds approach in a way that allows me to feel good.
An interesting exercise is to sit down and write out all the different personalities you believe you have: the controller, the supporter, the victim, the driven one, the happy one, the disappointed one, the complainer, the bully, the dominator, the playful one, the irritable one, the selfish one, the giver, the barterer, the lover, the masculine one, the macho man, the feminine one, the feminist, the joker, the artist, the compassionate one, and many, many more. Any or all of these will probably be part of your personality repertoire. Use a separate piece of paper for each personality. Then have a look at how each individual personality is structured, and document each of its traits in detail - what it believes, expects, its justifications etc. etc. (after you have read the next sections, and know about each trait of a personality). This information will give you a strong grounding about how you function, personality-wise, moment by moment. It will also help you learn how to identify personalities as they come forward, and also how to construct them. The exercise will also help you identify or call up specific personalities, as and when required, because you will know how to indulge them.  
Your “Pre-eminent” Personalities - What personality do you display most of the time? What are the attitudes (approaches) and behaviours, you are most recognised for, by others or your self? Are you short-tempered and irritable, or are you laughing and joking most of the time? Are you encouraging people to give you sympathy, and acting out why life is punishing you regularly? Or are you generally excited and optimistic, honestly? What are the agenda's - motivations, approaches, focuses, physiology, and language patterns, you use most often? If you want to believe you display all the positive traits I have mentioned, check with others who you know will be honest with you. How do they see you acting most regularly? How easily are you brought into negative or disempowering personalities and behaviours? How often do you blame others for causing you to display these personalities? 

Personalities are unconscious of other personalities, and so are you if you are not conscious of what the mind is doing in any moment.

Wayne Dyer (see recommended resources) once said, “When you squeeze an orange, what comes out? Well, what is in there, of course — orange juice.” What comes out of you, behaviour-wise, when you are squeezed (triggered, challenged, or pushed, by an event, situation, or person)? 

If your internal peace is only based on peaceful external circumstances, then you are not truly a peace. External discord only triggers or amplifies your internal discord, and triggers arguments between, and criticism from, the different concepts of self. 

The thinking mind has done really well at working on the quality of living (standard of living), but it is really poor at working on the quality of emotional life. Personalities that support lower-level needs like certainty, comfort, self-validation and significance, are the strongest we can have when we are totally associated to the thinking mind, and are therefore the most challenging to move beyond in any moment.
Once you can recognise many of the different personalities that you display or experience, start making the choice as to which personality you would rather experience most of the time. Of course, I suggest using ones that cause you to feel genuinely good, uplifted and inspired, but the choice is yours. Decide what agenda or motivation you would need to adopt, what approach, what you would focus on within that approach, what physiology and language patterns you would need in order to gain access to, or keep active, the personalities you want at the front. Once you know the components of this personality, and have practiced accessing it many times with emotional intensity, it will become easy to access, or go back to, and it will be more likely to become a pre-eminent personality, once the subconscious mind accepts that it is more valid than others. You can become really good at accessing any personality as you need it. It just takes conscious practice, commitment and some discipline, to function from a higher level of thought and reasoning, and a desire and commitment to feeling the way you want to feel. 

Personalities are either pro-active or reactive, rarely neutral, at least until the waiting occurs.

Personalities are filters and depending on the personality you are in, information will be perceived based on the agenda, expectations and approach of the personality you're in. Everything delivered into the external world, and everything experienced psychologically, it's done so through a personality. So the personality you are really in any moment is very important to the experience you are having. Being conscious of what personality you are in at any time, brings with it the opportunity of choice.

Personalities create a vibrational state, and can offer bring out the personalities in others that are in resonance with them.

Your mind's life has been spent creating and using personalities to deal with perceived threats without realising that the real threat comes from within. The  psychological concept of the unacceptable self is the true problem.

You can become pretty much any way you want to be by constructing enough personalities that support being that way.

ttytytr

Approach - Attitude
Attitude = your angle of approach. A person's nature is often experienced by others as their regular approaches and attitudes. It is the approaches and attitudes, and therefore the resulting behaviours, that really define people, not size, colour, or creed. 
How you approach something dictates how you experience it. Change your approach and your current personality changes, either a little or a lot. Change personality, and your approach will change, either a little or a lot. Approaches can be; Trusting/Fearful, Optimistic/Pessimistic, Supportive/Unsupportive, Can - Will/Can't - Won't, Supportive/Critical, Compassionate/Blaming, Open/Defensive, Positive/Negative, Enabling/Disempowering, Resolution (do - resolve)/Dissolution (accept - surrender dissolve)(Resolve the external challenge, or Dissolve the internal attachment to it or a specific outcome). These approaches can be subconscious, conditioned approaches, or conscious choice approaches.
Your quality of thought usually dictates the type of approach you will take. Ask yourself, what do I need to change about my approach to change my emotional results? As an example, you can either see it as something to be scared of, worried over, or something to be excited about. If someone comes up to me and starts shouting, I can either approach it as "look what they are doing to me, how dare they, what a p****, or I could step back internally for a second, and then say "wow, for someone to be this angry, they must have had a hard journey. How can I show my compassion for them?" Do you think these two scenarios would create a different emotional experience within me. You better believe it. Which one is real? Actually neither, they are just a perception of an event, situation or interaction, and I could look at it many other ways. Some more empowering, some more destructive. Only the approach I give my attention to, will be perceived as real to me. So if you would like to stop experiencing a particular behaviour, or stop feeling a certain way about something, or someone, change your approach to that event, situation, interaction or person. 
Your self-image and what you believe you deserve, will strongly dictate your default approach to almost every situation. However you can consciously choose your approach at any time, if you are aware enough. If you change your approach and have it be something that is more uplifting and supportive, you will experience a much more uplifting and supportive emotional outcome.

You will adapt your approaches to allow you to be acceptable to your peer group. Choose your peer group very carefully.

Successful people focus on longer-term outcomes (results) the more successful the person the longer-term results are outcomes that focus on the least successful focus on the shortest time frames, usually instant gratification. People who struggle focus on the process, uncomfortable methods, not supportive outcomes long-term. Successful people don't do things they hate, they find a way to enjoy those things, or they get somebody who does enjoy doing them to do them.

'Trying' is about being willing to commit to making choices that support your long-term outcome, until those choices start becoming more difficult to make. If you have not decided and committed to a long-term desire, you will eventually revert to making easy, or easier, short-term gratification choices, usually based on fear and/or safety.

How you approach anything psychologically in a moment of pressure or stress, is more than likely the way you approach everything.

gilull

Agenda, Motivation or Need

Each personality has a different motivation/agenda because of the needs it is designed to meet, certainty, significance, connection, satisfaction etc.
Each personality is sensitised towards its own motivation, agenda or need, and only sees and hears what is in line with this because that is all it is looking for , or looking to get.

Agenda-what you want to achieve.

The agenda of a personality is to achieve what it was created for.

Craving of any kind causes struggle. Craving to be slim, right, worthy, rich, famous, pretty, handsome, cool, powerful

Adversarial personalities

Bxvbb

Your Approach & Focus  Give Your Reality Experience
Focus = the details you look at in any moment, through, or within, any approach and agenda. If you focus on what you resent, you’ll create more resentment. Focus on things that create anger, and you’ll find more reasons to be angry. When you focus on being grateful, you’ll experience more reasons to be grateful.  Focus on the things you truly value, and you will experience their value even more. Focus on what you love, and opportunities for experiencing love will greet you. What you pay attention to (focus on) helps to generate your experience of reality. Nothing exists in your experience of reality until you focus on it, or give it your attention. Anything that you are not consciously focused on, does not exist in your conscious experience of reality. You need to focus on something, give it your focused attention, for it to fully exist to you. That includes any thought, memory, object, event or situation. Take a look at your curtains or whatever is behind you — the road outside, your back fence, the small shop down the road, the handle on your favourite bag, or the button on your trousers. In the last 5 minutes, before I mentioned any of those things, you probably had no conscious awareness of them in your reality. They simply didn’t have any of your focus or therefore your attention. That means they actually did not exist for you until you consciously thought about them. If you do not give something any of your attention, it will not exist for you. You will therefore not experience it emotionally. Anything that causes you to think about it once it has your focus or attention, only exists to you because you give your attention to it, either subconsciously, or consciously. 
Your focus is also how you look at something in order to find evidence to support or question an idea or belief you already hold. When you look at something in a certain way, because you already have a belief about it, one way or another, is a focus, and your approach is how you are giving it your focused attention. This kind of biased focus will ensure you only see more evidence to support your idea, belief or expectation. You focus on what you expect to get, so you should expect to get the experience of what you focus on. If you focus on what causes you to feel bad, like a memory, event or situation, then you should expect to feel bad. If you don’t focus on it, or give it your attention, it will not affect you. Focus and expectation are linked. Even the Bible says, “Ask, and it shall be given, seek and ye shall find.” That statement is not just about asking for and getting things; it also means you will get the experience of what you focus on, or give your attention to. Regardless of whether your focus is positive or negative, your mind will automatically look for evidence to support that focus. When you concentrate on, focus on, or give your attention to anything at all, that focus generates all, or at least most, of your reality experience in that moment. 
Practise what I call ‘thought replacement’. You can only really give your attention to one thought at a time, either consciously, or subconsciously. So consciously decide what kind of thoughts you want to focus on, based on how you want to feel. Then, whenever you become aware that you are thinking about something that causes you discomfort, direct your full attention to focus on the things you want to think about. If you give these thoughts your full conscious, focused, attention, they will replace the thought that caused you discomfort. It is a thought, or type of thought, that causes discomfort. If you're still stuck in thought, and the illusion of self, it is a thought, or type of thought, that will also cause you to feel good. Decide how you want to feel and constantly replace disempowering thoughts as soon as you become aware of them, by consciously focusing on thoughts that cause you to feel good. Immediately forgive your self for thinking those disempowering thoughts you are replacing and letting go of.

Bxvbb

Language - The Power Of Your Words
Words simply reduce experiences to a conceptual version of the experience, so the thinking mind can relate to it, related to itself, and be able to describe it to itself and others. However it can never be converted back to an experience within somebody who has not had the experience.

Language and feelings are linked. Whatever you consistently say with enough emotional intensity (an (incant) will become the truth to you. You will have heard people in your life tell stories in a way that gets you totally involved in what they’re describing. At times, you may have told yourself stories in a way that has caused you to become totally involved in the created emotions of a situation which you later found out was not actually real. Perhaps you tried to contact someone but could not reach them, or you heard second hand what someone else was supposed to have said. You may have put together a totally elaborate story around it that felt completely real to you, and then found out later it was totally untrue. Did you experience it as if it was completely real? The language you used to describe the story to yourself influenced how you felt. 
The words you use to describe anything dictate how you will feel about it, simply because of the meaning those words, or that story, hold for you.  Imagine you are saying something to me that I disagree with. If I say “I hear what you are saying, but I perceive it differently” or “I disagree”, or “You’re mistaken”, or “You’re an idiot for thinking that”, do you think each one of these collections of words might create a different feeling in you? Of course they would. Each one would create a different reaction or response in you because you have experiential memories and associations of words, phrases and statements. The words you use to describe anything create the emotional experience of whatever you’re describing. Do you consistently use optimistic, supportive words, phrases or statements, or are they pessimistic, disempowering?
Do you think you would feel differently if instead of saying to yourself “I can’t do this,” you said, “I’m finding this a challenge and I love challenges because they help me grow, so what do I need to do to transcend this challenge?” The first statement will almost guarantee failure, whilst the second gives you the opportunity to find a way to overcome the challenge. The wording of the question also carries an expectation of success. You are employing your higher reasoning to answer a question you don’t yet have the answer to. Same challenge (situation); different outcome. Words carry emotional meaning. Choose the words that elicit the kinds of emotions you want to experience and consciously avoid using the ones that will cause you to feel discomfort or suffering. There are many ways, if you experiment and practise, to describe what you perceive to be happening in any moment in an uplifting and supportive way. Here is an example of how changing a few words can change the whole emotional response of a person. 
 A blind man was sitting in a public square with a sign in front of him that said: 

I am Edwardo - I am Blind 

Every now and then, someone would come along and drop a small coin into his mostly empty bowl. A Good Samaritan came over, saw the sign and decided to do him a favour. He rewrote the sign and told the man what he had done, but did not tell him what he had written. Within a very short time, many people were putting coins into his bowl, which originally had very little in it. The blind man could not understand what had happened, so he asked someone to tell him what the man had written on his sign. The sign now said:

Today is a beautiful day. Unfortunately, I cannot see it!

He had simply rewritten the sign in a way that would allow people to relate to his suffering and trigger the emotional response (compassion) that would help people to empathise with his condition and his plight. How could you rephrase anything you say to yourself in a way that would cause you to feel differently about it, or yourself? This process is actually quite easy once you become good at it, and it can drastically change how you feel in any moment. I am constantly amazed by how graphically, and with such emphasis and enthusiasm, people describe the things that cause them to feel bad or unhappy. On the other hand, when they are describing something that causes them to feel good, they are often nowhere near as passionate, colourful or emotionally involved in their descriptions. I suggest avoiding doing this as much as possible. If you must describe the things that cause you to feel bad, try describing them with no emotion, no colourful story, no descriptive strong language. Just describe them in a way that causes them to appear like a small black-and-white picture. Better still, stop talking about them altogether. Then, when you describe the things that you enjoy, use all the emotion you can muster. Give the image sound, colour and movement. Describe it in a way that makes it feel like a full-colour feature film. 
Do you think describing an exciting full-colour feature film, as opposed to a small, boring, black-and-white picture, will generate more emotion? You better believe it! Unfortunately, that is usually how people describe the things they say they want to stop experiencing. Go figure. What stories do you turn into full-colour feature films in your imagination and thereby increase their emotional effect on you? The ones that annoy and upset you, or the ones that cause you to feel good? 
How often do you say “I can’t” or “It can be done”? For me, can’t is a word that should be removed from our language altogether. When you say can’t, your mind automatically moves towards making this a reality for you, simply because the thinking mind refuses to perceive you or itself as a liar and it wants to  remain consistent with your perception of your potential. Therefore, whenever you say you can’t, unless you are forced by someone else to do something, or conditions change to allow you to see that you can do it, your thinking mind will guarantee your failure. Your thinking mind will even change your perception in order to filter out evidence to the contrary. This must have happened in your life: you were looking for something and kept saying you can’t find it, only to have it turn up in a place you had already looked for it. This happened because your mind filtered out the object in order to uphold your belief, even if it knew it was untrue. If you say you can’t, you are creating or supporting a belief involving failure. As a result, you will be right, because your thinking mind will make sure of it. Replace the word “can’t” with “I am having a challenge” wherever possible, because challenges can be overcome, and it leaves the door open for a solution to appear. If you believe you can’t, you can’t. However, if you have a challenge, you can always overcome it by looking in the right way or in the right place for a solution. Just stopping the use of this one word will increase the quality of your life and your perceived potential.
It is actually your language that does the most damage to you internally. That’s because you hear what you say, and your thinking mind is predisposed to believe what you say, especially anything also spoken out loud. You will actually believe yourself more than others, so be very careful how you speak. Saying nice, uplifting statements about yourself and life will predispose you to believe them. You can then start moving towards actualising them, even if you don’t feel that they are true to start with. The more frequently you say these things, with genuine emotional intensity and positive expectation, the more you will start functioning as if they are real. If you do speak them often enough, they will become real for you. That’s how most of your negative beliefs, expectations and opinions came about in the first place. You kept repeating disempowering mistruths and misunderstandings about yourself, others and life, until they became ingrained in your belief and expectation systems. Understand how this is done and use it to your advantage now.
Also be mindful of the quality of your speech. By that, I don’t mean how your voice sounds. I mean the way you say things. Say what something ‘is’ rather than what it ‘isn’t’. Listen to how people talk about what kind of day it is. Have you noticed how instead of saying, “It’s a great day,” people say, “Isn’t it a great day?” What they’re actually saying is, “Is it not a great day?” instead of “It is a great day.” The two versions impact us differently. “Isn’t it” is not a positive statement. It does not clearly state what it is. It is a negative language pattern from which your thinking mind can generate a matching negative feeling. I spoke to someone the other day who had put a statement on her mirror to read every day. It said, “I will forgive myself.” Unfortunately, the thinking mind can interpret this as “At some point I will forgive myself, but it does not need to be just yet,” so this statement will not have the desired or required affect. I suggested she change it to “I forgive myself unconditionally and care about myself immensely.” This is a far stronger and more direct way of saying exactly what she wants to say and experience. Best of all, it comes with an expectation of immediate change. It is VERY IMPORTANT that you get this concept: your mind will not allow itself to be a liar. Use that knowledge and make sure you say what you truly want to say because what you consistently say becomes real to you. Be very careful to praise yourself, and always talk about supportive and uplifting outcomes no matter what the subject matter. 

Self-confidence is partly created or destroyed by how you speak to yourself or about yourself. Confidence is a result of self belief and how you approach yourself, and self belief is a result of what you focus on and what you do, and how you speak to yourself consistently.

Be very conscious of your language because it creates a subconscious visualisation of the statements you indulge in. Internally and externally talk about what you want to experience, not what you don't want to experience, or don't have, because you see an image of that lack which is passed to your true expectation. This attracts future experiences.

Its not the word but the implication of the word to the perceiver that gives it its meaning.

Bxvbb

Your Questions, Statements, Comments & Stories
Asking yourself new questions, especially better quality questions, will change your experience of life very quickly. Right now, you may believe that the questions, statements and comments (cmments being small statements) you ask or make about yourself, come from a true evaluation of yourself. Based on what you learn in this book, however, you will soon realise this evaluation is unlikely to be true. Your best thinking got you to where you are now. If you are not happy with your lot, you need to start asking better quality questions about yourself, others and life, so you can think differently. When I say ‘quality questions’, I mean questions whose logical answers will bring you a good quality or high-level feeling. Questions require your mind to use its reasoning processes to find or come up with reasons to answer them. The reasoning that is employed to answer any question comes from two different directions: what I call the pessimist or the optimist, or left-brain and more right-brain reasoning respectively. You can, of course, become less pessimistic by raising the quality of your thinking and how you use your ability to choose your approach and focus. Depending on the quality of your questioning, you will either employ left-brain reasoning or right-brain reasoning. 
Your left-brain pessimistic reasoning will come with either an expectation of failure or a confirmation of why you should feel the discomfort or suffering that you experience. On the other hand, higher-level optimistic reasoning comes from the opposite direction, bringing an expectation of success and a feel-good outcome, if you can actually hear or experience it. Be aware that unless you consciously redirect your thinking, your subconscious will only trigger the left-brain reasoning, and not both. Unless you employ high-quality, optimistic reasoning on a regular basis, the highest level of reasoning you can expect from the left brain is logic based on what you already know. This kind of thinking is based on the knowledge and experiences you already have stored about your perception of life so far. 
Using your reasoning is like using an Internet search engine, like Google for example. You enter a question and it goes away to find the logical answer based on the exact pessimistic, optimistic or neutral criteria (expectation, approach, intent and focus) that you gave it to search with. If you ask “What is time?”, its basic programming is to answer your question based solely on the question you asked, not the question it ‘thinks’ you’re asking or what it wants you to know. Just be aware that your thinking mind can override any answer you get to stay in line with how it already thinks as it will apply your beliefs and expectations to the answer, which is still logical to the thinking mind. It therefore filters and influences the outcome of the question. It is so important to become aware of your thinking processes, so that you can recognise when this is happening. This is also why self-honesty, integrity, is so, so important.
Are your internal questions or internal statements asking for or giving a judgement or an explanation as to why something is happening, or are they looking for a new solution? However, they use logic from different directions. You can employ logic to show why you experience life the way you do, or you can use it to show you how else it could be, from an optimistic uplifting persective, and therefore what is truly possible for you. There are low-level questions and high-level questions. Low-level (pessimistic) questions ask for answers from your left-brain reasoning, which only uses the information, experiences and outcomes you already have in your thinking mind’s memory. The left brain does not come up with new answers or expectations; it merely looks for answers that fit with your current belief and expectation systems. 
For instance, if you ask the low-level question “Why do I do such stupid things?” your logical left-brain reasoning goes away and looks for reasons why it would consider you to do stupid things. Specific answers to the question above might include, “because you make mistakes”, “because nobody believes in you”, “because you do things you perceive to be wrong”, or “because you do not perceive yourself as intelligent.” There are literally dozens, if not hundreds and thousands of possible answers to questions like this, based on your life experiences. Answers like these will have been rehearsed occasionally consciously, but mainly subconsciously over you lifetime, and will be backed up by perceived outcomes that you already have in your thinking memory or belief system. This type of question comes with a presupposition — for instance, that you are stupid — and therefore carries the expectation and assumption that you already are what you ask. Therefore, it will simply look for why it thinks you are. Logic has to find the answer based on your criteria; that’s its job, and because of the construction of your question (pessimistic), a left-brain thinking question gets a left-brain thinking answer. Your thinking mind won’t come back and say, “Aw, don’t be silly. You’re not stupid xxx” because this is a left-brain question and that is a right-brain, supportive answer. We often construct questions based on the answer we want, need or expect to get.
As you get better at directing your mind, you can step in and override the answer with higher-level reasoning because you will are able to notice the answer did not feel good. The thinking mind will do its best to answer your exact question logically from the direction you asked it to look. The answers to these low quality questions will generate the same kind of disempowering emotional response within you virtually every time. You will always feel the emotional response that matches the quality of the questions you ask and the statements and comments you make. 
On the other hand, high-level questions look for answers that you do not already have in your thinking memory, belief system, or experience. If you focus on a new outcome that you would like to experience, your reasoning goes looking for new answers for you. Ask questions that create new answers, such as “How else could I look at this event, situation or interaction?” or “What else could this mean for me if I looked at it differently?” Be open to the new information that will come from this search. Ask questions that make your higher mind work. Expect, and have the intent of receiving, an uplifting and supportive answer. Such questions not only expect a high-level emotional outcome, they also presuppose an uplifting belief. Feeling stupid or feeling intelligent is purely the outcome of the quality of your questions. The vibrational quality of the question you ask will dictate the vibrational quality of the answer, which dictates the vibrational quality of the emotional experience you have. Feeling bad is a low-vibrational experience, and feeling genuinely great is a high-vibrational experience. Whenever you notice yourself giving a rationale to yourself or others for your arguments, statements or beliefs, dig into the reasoning behind them rather than assuming they are automatically valid. People often use un-thought-through or weakly understood reasoning to support their arguments and assumptions. Look for other, equally valid viewpoints that will cause you to feel better about yourself, or the event, situation or interaction. 
Socrates was the first thinker on record to recognise the value of questions. He identified six types of questions that help disrupt conditioned thinking. All of them are structured and presented in such a way that they cause you to think more about what exactly you are saying, asking, believing, assuming or stating. The thinking mind was clearly well in control even that long ago! Socrates’ six types are basically ‘tell me more’ or ‘look deeper’ questions that challenge the accuracy and completeness of your thinking beliefs and expectations. They look deeper into the beliefs or concepts you have about yourself and others in a way that affects you consciously. They help you to question the validity of any unquestioned belief, statement or incantation to expose how you constructed it. They will help you move towards your goal of self-acceptance. 
Below, I have posed my own version of these types of Socratic questions. Socrates’ questions are constructed for a therapist to ask them. I present them in the way you would ask them of yourself, so that you can use them whenever you feel discomfort in your own experience of life. Be careful how you construct your questions. Be aware that your thinking mind is predisposed to focus on the lowest denominator, which means the most negative or pessimistic part of the question, assumptions or presumption. Manage your questions to make sure you do not give your thinking mind this opportunity. Construct every part of the question looking with an assumption or expectation of a good outcome based on a supportive belief.
You can use this process right now. Choose any belief or assumption you have about yourself, such as a statement you regularly make about yourself that causes you to feel disempowered. Then, openly, with self-honesty, from a place in you that wants to feel good, ask yourself all the questions below using the detail of your particular challenge within the question. If you use this exercise to confront your beliefs and assumptions about others, do not do so from a perspective of how to blame them. These are your imagined assumptions only, and they must be uncovered to reveal your disempowering beliefs and assumptions. You are not delving into your assumptions about other people’s beliefs. Your focus for this process must be you and you only. You are aiming to find out how your beliefs, assumptions or statements are affecting you, and to test if they are valid, and to see if you still want to keep them or not. Where you see ... (three dots) in the questions below (unless otherwise stated), replace the three dots with one of these words — assumption, statement or belief. Choose the one that is specific to what you are actually querying.

Conceptual clarification questions
 	Why am I saying this? (to yourself or others)
 	What exactly does this mean? 
 	Give me an example of why I think that? 
 	How do I rephrase that in a positive, supportive way? (Hold the intent & expectation that you can do so.)

Probing assumptions
 	What else could I assume instead? 
 	I seem to be assuming ... Why? (As stated – replace dots with your assumption)
 	Explain why/how this ... is true about me? (Expecting negative to be disproved)
 	How can I verify or disprove this ... ?

Probing rationale, reasoning and evidence
 	How do I believe I know this? 
 	Can I give an example of why that ... is genuinely true? (Expecting negative to be disproved)
 	What evidence is there to support what I am saying about this ... ?
 	On what authority am I basing my ... ?

Questioning viewpoints and perspectives
 	Another way of looking at this is — (Find a more uplifting and inspiring way of looking at it - new approach and focus).
 	Does this belief, assumption or statement seem reasonable? 
 	What alternative ways of looking at this are there (that cause you to feel good)?
 	Why do I believe this ... is necessary for me?
 	Do I benefit from this ... ?
 	What would (Choose a more awakened, happy, balanced person) say about this instead? 
 	How else could I view this that would allow me to feel less discomfort? 

Probe implications and consequences
 	What happens inside me each time I think this?
 	What are the consequences to me of this ... ?
 	What are the implications to me of this ... ?
 	How does this ... truly affect me?
 	Why does looking at myself that way seem important to me?
 	How does looking at myself like that support me?
 	How does looking at myself like that disempower me?
 	What could I replace this ... with that would allow me to feel better, and why? 

Questions about the question or statement
 	What is the point of asking myself that question? 
 	What was I really looking for by asking it? 
 	Why do I think I ask this question of myself? 
 	What does that ... really mean? 
 	What type of answer (optimistic or pessimistic) is that question really looking for?
 	What type of personal evidence does that statement require in order to be proven valid — optimistic or pessimistic?

How often are you asking low-quality questions that will return a disempowering or unsupportive answer? If you don’t want to feel disempowered or inadequate, and you want to feel good, ask better quality questions and make only supportive statements and comments. Make a list of the top ten questions you ask yourself most often. Seek some silence for a prolonged period, at least 5 days, so you can hear your questions more consciously, or at least the motivation or expectation behind them (is it optimistic or pessimistic, a feel good or feel bad result?). Does asking these particular questions fill you with an expectation of feeling good, or an expectation that you’ll feel discomfort, or even that you deserve to? Do they cause you to spiral down and feel worse than you did, by employing reasoning to justifying why you should feel bad or disempowered? 
Here are some examples of questions that people ask themselves matched with examples of better questions. Regardless of how you might feel about some of the alternative questions, recognise that they are structured in a way that causes your mind to work differently. Try them, or your own variations of them that fit your circumstances, to give yourself more opportunity to feel good. The right-hand column questions below also show the driving force behind the question, and the assumption or expectation of a good, supportive outcome.

Disempowering Question 	Empowering Alternative 	
Why do I keep failing?       	What did I learn from this situation that I can use to help me in the future? 
How will this help me become even more successful in my endeavours? (Expects success, and acknowledges that there has already been some success.)
	
Why do others get better results than me?	What are they doing differently that I can learn from and use to improve my results even more? 
(Assumes results experienced are already good or of value, and that with the right approach there will be more good to come.)
 	
What is wrong with me?    	What else is great about me? 
How am I different to others in an inspiring way? (Assumes goodness, and looks for more reasons to feel good about being different in a good way.)
	
How do I change?              	How do I accept myself even more? (Assumes that you are already acceptable to yourself, and can be even more so.)
	
Why does this always happen to me?	What else can I learn from this outcome that will improve my perception even more and allow me to experience something new? (Assumes something has been learned, and expects there to be an opportunity to learn even more.)
	
Why am I being punished? 	Is it really true that I am being punished? Honestly? What empowering lesson is Creation offering me? (Asked with an expectation of an empowering, uplifting response that the old assumption is not true, & that there is a gift within this experience.)
	
What did I do to deserve this?	How can I look at this in a way that allows me to find ‘the learning’ that is needed to transcend this experience, and allow the internal story to complete? (Expects to be able to transcend any suffering being experienced, and accepts that it will happen as it needs to, and sets the mind looking for a way to complete the old story.)
	
How can I stop them making me feel this way?	How do I recognise even more that ‘others’ cannot make me feel anything? I am just applying a meaning to what they are doing or saying that causes me to suffer. What meaning can I apply to this so that I can quickly return to feeling good again? (Recognises that it is only a perception that is causing the struggle, and expects to find a solution that allows you to return to feeling good.)	

Questions are also one of the keys to raising your level of awareness, and therefore your vibrational state. It’s not through knowing more about the past, and knowing about everything that is perceived as spiritual, that will awaken you or bring you enlightenment. The act of questioning beyond where your awareness is now, using uplifting, supportive, inspiring questions and reasoning, will eventually awaken you to your thinking mind’s control over you. This will then allow you far more right-brained reasoning and therefore higher expectation. The right brain is where the true experience of happiness resides, not in the left-brain thinking mind. Change the quality of the questions that you are continually asking yourself, and you will change the quality of the emotional experience that your level of reasoning will bring to you. You will start to experience life more through the optimistic, uplifting right brain than through the left-brain thinking mind.

Asking questions that you don't already have the answer to, opens the mind in a different way. When the mind starts searching for the answer and can't find it within it's database; like if you ask the question: what is wrong with me?, it automatically goes to what it already knows and it can give you an answer to that and say you don't need it, you don't deserve it, you've not done well in your life, you are not the kind of person you should be; whatever. It can give you an answer, and that's what you get, it has to give you an answer so that's what you get. 
If you ask the question “how do I feel even better than I feel now?”, if your thinking mind has an answer to that then it will automatically help you feel better. If it doesn't have the answer to that and it strives to find the answer and it suddenly realizes that it doesn't have the information to give you the answer, to keep certainty so that it feels in control, it will open a gap for your higher mind to send the information, because it has to find an answer, it will open up to the higher mind which will allow a bit of higher awareness to come in. and then, the computer being adjusted as now it has an injection of awareness, that injection of awareness now creates change. You haven't done it; you haven't created the change, but by choice you've opened up the possibility of the mind now accepting information that it would have readily rejected before. 

Asking questions that you don't have the answer to requires the thinking mind to leave a gap so that higher awareness can answer the question, which means it is higher intelligence that's having an effect on the mind in the moment. The more higher awareness has an effect the on the mind, the more the mind shifts towards allowing higher awareness to come through.

What you chant for long enough becomes reality, both as a belief and because it creates a vibration that attracts the experience to you. A chant can also be a story, or an incident, and an expectation you talk about, or something you complain about. 

kjghjk

Statements & Comments, In-Can-tations & In-Can’t-ations

It is very important to be aware of the statements or comments that you make to yourself and others, especially those you make on a regular basis. These statements come with a presupposition about how you believe yourself to be, or what you believe to be true about yourself. Like the premise behind fictional witches’ spells and incantations, they are based on saying something over and over and over again, with enough emotional intensity that they become true. The same concept applies with regard to your internal and external dialogue. Each time you repeat statements pertaining to beliefs or assumptions about yourself with emotional intensity, you make these beliefs and assumptions even more true to yourself. Do you constantly make optimistic, inspiring statements or comments, (in-can-tations)? Or do you regularly make pessimistic, disempowering statements and comments (in-can’t-ations)? The more you say them, the more they become true for you. Pessimistic statements include: “I am broke, “I do not deserve to do better”, “I am no good”, “I am worthless”, “I am no good at this”, “I can’t do this or that”, “I am so stupid” and so on. Optimistic statements include: “I can do anything I put my mind to”, “everything becomes easy to me when I apply myself”, “I always succeed when I persevere”, “I am a friendly, caring, likable person”, “I deserve to be successful”, “I attract success and affluence” and so on. Make no mistake, you will experience the emotions that accompany your statements and comments, whether they are empowering or disempowering.
Listen to comments you make to yourself about yourself, like “I’m stupid” or “I’m an idiot” and such like. When you make comments like this about yourself, you generate an internal question that asks your reasoning to find out why this is true. Due to the way the thinking mind is designed, it is predisposed to find a reason for the assumption so it can look for what may be wrong or not right at any time. It always needs to find a reason for the assumption to have certainty of safety. If you are not expecting to get an uplifting answer — if you are not directing your mind to asks questions that create uplifting, supportive answers — then by default you will get a pessimistic response. Each time you allow this to happen, your subconscious underlying conditioned thinking will cause you to feel discomfort.
Understanding how our statements or incantations affect us allows us to re-approach them from a positive, supportive and empowering perspective. It also allows us to apply the same strong expectation to them as we do to our more practised disempowering ones. Try some of these on for size. Remember, the more emotional intensity you give to these statements and comments, the more chance your mind has of adopting them as true, and integrating them into your permanent beliefs and expectations. Get into a strong emotional state like you would be in if you were a child just getting up from bed on Christmas morning. Cultivate excitement and expectation for what awaits you. Once you are fully in that state, recite the affirmations and incantations below that resonate with you, or which you want to adopt or make real for yourself. Do this as often as possible.

I am always confident and optimistic.
I attract abundance easily and effortlessly.
I love and accept myself in every way.
I am filled with excited energy.
I live by choice and not by chance.
I am a prosperity magnet.
I am optimistic about my future.
I create supportive and loving relationships.
I regularly experience joy and happiness.
I can be anything I choose to be.
All my needs are met by universal influence.
My body easily generates energy.
All I need is available within me right now.	I love myself.
I love and accept my self .
I forgive my self for everything.
I give freely to others with no expectations.
I am abundance and prosperity.
I am eternal, universal and infinite.
I am honest with myself.
I am non-judgemental.
I am a good luck charm.
I am forgiving.
I am peaceful.
I am courageous and patient.
The universe provides for me in every way.	

Get yourself a little trampoline (a re-bounder) that you can bounce on whilst energetically and emotionally reciting your selected incantations from above. Accompany this process with exciting or inspiring music. Just watch how your energy and demeanour changes to support you, causing you to feel good. Do this or similar exercises every day for at least half an hour to an hour, or even just 15 minutes if that is all you can spare. Even get up a little earlier than normal, and this process will change your life on its own.
Remember: be careful and mindful of your questions and statements. All of your answers contribute to your perception of your level of self-worth. Your perceived level of self-worth is the driver behind your whole perceptions and therefore experience of yourself and life. It is supremely important that you raise you perception of your own value. Also, recognise that your emotional responses to your disempowering questions and statements about yourself will create disempowering actions. Unless they are consciously redirected, these actions pretty much always create a disempowering result. In fact, it is highly unlikely that you will ever get an empowering or uplifting result from a disempowering question or statement. Your reasoning will find evidence for anything you direct it to, so direct it carefully. Don’t let your subconscious mind control or direct your thinking and reasoning for you.

Use mantras to program something new into the mind. Done daily for a consistent period the vibration of the words become reality and connects to the higher self. This helps to manifest more of what the mantra pertains to and makes it more acceptable to you, and more expected by you.

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Your Stories create reality Experience

stories

Over the course of a day you will consciously and sub-consciously tell yourself many stories. Most of these stories are turned into full colour action movies with your thinking and imagining loop. At the end of the day, if you see each one of those movies as an optimistic or pessimistic DVD and made two separate piles, which pile would be the biggest? The pile of inspirational, joyful, uplifting movies, or the pile of upsetting, disappointing, frustrating or depressing movies?

When you tell a story about what caused you to be or act a certain way, you are talking about the past. It is therefore history (his-story). It is just a story about what was perceived to have happened. Part of, or even a great deal of your suffering, is caused by the stories you tell yourself and others about events, situations or interactions as you perceived or perceive them. The actual suffering is not in the details of these experiences. It is in the struggle over what you perceived to be happening, and what it means to you, and about you, that causes the pain. How many stories do you tell people about the things in your life that you don’t like, can’t get, don’t deserve, had done ‘to’ you, what ‘they’ or ‘that person’ did, what you were stopped or hindered from doing, or why something or someone is beyond your reach? How do these stories cause you to feel? Honestly? 

The only thing that stands between you and what you truly want is the story you tell yourself and others about why you can’t have it!
    -- Tony Robbins	

You cannot be unhappy without indulging in a story that creates and justifies it. I feel that explaining this concept with an example may help. Something happened to me several years ago in Miami when I was a part of the support team at one of Tony Robbins’ renowned Life Mastery seminars. The hotel we were staying in was a short courtesy coach ride to where the seminar was being held. On the last day, I had some business to take care of at the hotel and got the second courtesy bus over in the morning. The bus was empty apart from the driver and me. The bus driver turned to me as we left the hotel and asked me what was going on in the venue. He was intrigued because he’d seen so many happy people going to and from the event each day smiling and happy, which sadly seems to be unusual nowadays. I told him it was a Tony Robbins event. He said, “That’s that tall guy who supposedly helps change people’s lives, isn’t it?” To which I replied, “Yes,” with a smile. The expression on his face immediately changed and he said to me, “My wife left me just over two years ago” (obviously still counting). Then with hardly a breath, he leapt straight into this story (his-story) about his wife leaving him and the effect it was still having on his life. I sat there listening and thought, “Oh damn. How can I help this man in just five minutes?” That was how long it was going to take to reach our destination, and I had to go straight in when we got there. In my experience, up until that time, I knew helping him to change what was causing the problem could easily take more time than I had available. Nonetheless, I started directing my higher reasoning to find the answer, which I knew with certainty would come. Then it just hit me, and I knew what to do. 
I said, “How do you want to feel?” He said, “What do you mean?” I said, “How do you want to feel, right now? How do you want to feel in the morning when you wake up, and how you want to feel just before you go to bed at night?” He just looked at me and then said, “I want to feel happy.” So I said, “How does telling me that story cause you to feel?” He said, “It makes me feel like shit!” So I said, “So stop telling the story if you don’t want to feel like that. Tell me a story that causes you to feel good!” He looked at me for a few seconds and suddenly started crying. His tears lasted about 20 seconds. Then his state changed and he just looked at me with a huge smile on his face and said, “It can’t be that simple.” I said, “Why can’t it be that simple? If you want to feel good, then why tell stories to other people, and to yourself, that cause you to feel bad? Surely if you stop telling stories like that, and told only happy, supportive, inspiring, uplifting stories, you would have far more chance of feeling good more often? In fact, practise only telling stories to yourself and others that cause you to feel good.” I said a few more things to him to drive it home but that was the basis of what created the change. I got off the bus and he drove off with a big smile on his face. I stayed at the hotel for another few days to have a bit of a break and this man was one of the happiest people around the hotel for the rest of my stay. He thanked me every time he saw me. His relationship had actually been over for a long time and this simple realisation clearly changed his experience of life, and allow him to let it go.
The stories you tell yourself about anything will dictate the emotions you experience around it. Your emotions are partly, and sometimes mostly, generated by the stories you are telling yourself about events, situations, interaction, circumstances, objects, relationships and so on. There are feel-good stories and feel-bad stories. Which type of stories do you tell yourself and others on a regular basis? How do your stories cause you to feel, and how do you want to feel? Honestly?

It’s like watching a television drama and getting so involved that you become part of the drama and experience it as if it is real, even though it is a made up story. You can of course consciously recognise that a drama is being played out and step back from it so that you are no longer involved emotionally.

Recognised that you're telling stories about experiences in your life that were not your experiences, but the experiences of the people that taught you in your life. Most of those stories were passed down to them from others. So there are stories of stories of stories of experiences. They are not your experiences, did you hold onto them and treat them as if they are real and make choices and have expectations based on them.

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The Internal and External Loops

The Internal Loop is mainly driven by the core identity that you hold for yourself, which is your internal programming and conditioning. The internal loop is you speaking to yourself. About 95% of the internal dialogue you have over yourself is no longer heard by you because it has been repeated so many times that you your mind decided you no longer need to hear it consciously. Because you have a limit amount of processing power available to your conscious awareness, if something is not considered in need of monitoring consciously, because it is no longer being evaluated for threat, it will slip from your conscious awareness. However, it will sill be held and processed in your subconscious mind until something overrides or replaces it. Most of the dialogue you have in a day is just rehashed rubbish the mind uses to keep you thinking and keep your attention on thinking.
The External Loop is mainly driven by the public identity, which is your external programming and conditioning of how you want to be perceived by others. This is how you speak to the outside world. The public identity is both external and internal in that it is an external projection of how you want to perceive yourself. This means how we speak to ourselves about something and how we speak to others about the same thing is quite often different in some way. You may have heard someone speak and then immediately follow up with “That’s not what I meant. What I mean is…” They then proceeded to give you their public identity’s adjusted version of what they wanted to say. What they said didn’t sound too good to them and was immediately judged by their public identity, and they assumed they would be externally judged for it, because they have already judged themselves internally for it. 
They may be scared of being judged as incorrect, and because they are uncomfortable with themselves when they make mistakes, they assume the same judgement will come externally. Verbalising something that you did not really want to say out loud or in the way you said it is often known as a ‘Freudian slip’. Maybe you don’t want someone else to know about you or your internal beliefs in a certain area, or maybe you didn’t know you actually thought that way. Sometimes this process can expose you to your internal dialogue or beliefs, because it has slipped into your external loop to be heard consciously, possibly for the first time.
Depending on the perceived implications of the information you have just let slip, you may become a little defensive, or perhaps very defensive. The extent depends on the level of discomfort your internal judgement causes you over this slip. We basically run different sets of reality ‘filters’ when we speak to ourselves and when we speak to others. Your internal voice to your internal hearing is a different process, using different thinking filters, than when your thinking mind and public identity hear you speaking externally. Your external mouth emits the sound and it is heard by your external ear. Your external ear sends the information to be processed by your thinking mind and your public identity, which is a set of programs within the thinking mind. Your external dialogue passes through a more intense judgement system. Quite often, when you accidentally let something slip from the internal loop to the external loop (when you say it out loud), you get to hear it for the first time without your internal filters. As a result, you are not using the same justification methods. This experience can sometimes be scary, especially if you have poor self-esteem and believe you have a lot to hide about your perceived self and perceived lack of self-worth.
A Freudian slip is a real gift when it happens. It’s a great opportunity to hear thoughts that are trapped in your internal dialogue loop and still affecting you in certain ways you are unaware of. It allows you to bring them into your awareness and decide what you really think or believe about what you say internally. Use this process to serve you. Start saying aloud perceptions or beliefs about yourself that you may want to keep quiet for fear of being judged. Along with hearing them externally for possibly the first time (in a different way than you do internally), you will also be exposing yourself to the judgements of others, or at the very least your own public identity judgement. Funnily enough, when you are aware that you may be judged in this way and are consciously choosing to allow it, these judgements (if they actually come at all) turn out to be minor compared to your thinking mind’s expectations. Once you become comfortable exposing yourself like this, you will decrease your propensity to experience fear about the possibility of any accidental or enforced exposure. You stop being so concerned about what others may think and your level of defensiveness decreases a great deal. Therefore, so does your reactivity.
Something to be very aware of with regard to these loops, especially the external loop where language or verbal communication is concerned, is that you hear and process what you say and the way you say it. When you speak to others in negative ways about yourself or your life, you put your mind in a position where it is predisposed to believe what it hears from your own mouth. Therefore, what you say increases your predisposition to think and act in corresponding ways. Particularly, if you are exaggerating what you are saying about situations in your life or yourself in order to make your situation sound worse for whatever reason, you are increasing the likelihood that it will get worse. At the very least, your dialogue will certainly cause you to feel worse about it. External-loop dialogue is a very powerful tool to use if you want to train your mind to use different thinking and behaviours to meet your needs. Some years ago now, before I realised the impact my own words had on me, if someone asked “How are you?”, I normally said something like “Fine, thanks” or “Well, I’m ok”. I wanted to respond honestly so I told them how I felt in that moment. Once I realised how much my own statements affected me, I practised changing them and my responses straightaway. After that, when someone asked me how I was, I started to reply, “I’m great thanks,” even if I didn’t feel so great. What I found after doing this for a short time was that even if I didn’t feel so great, simply saying “I feel great” actually caused me to feel better. My thinking mind would not allow me to perceive myself as a liar, so it worked to adjust my state accordingly. This realisation was very powerful and life changing on its own.
Our reasoning is always looking for ‘why’ to any comment, statement or story we make or tell, internally or externally. When I say “I feel great,” my thinking mind asks the question “Why?” Then my reasoning automatically starts looking for the reasons why I could or should feel great. It has to, because it’s programmed to do just that. Reasoning will always find some evidence to support what it is looking for, because evidence is always available in one form or another. When it comes back and tells me subconsciously why I should feel great, this in turn creates a good feeling in me. Therefore, if I allow myself to, I start to feel great. My reasoning is doing what it is designed to do; I’m just using it in my favour instead of allowing it to subconsciously function in a way that is detrimental to my emotional experience of life. 
Now I am very careful how I dialogue anything to anyone, including myself, because I know how much impact our words have in shaping our emotional experience of reality, particularly the feeling of the present moment. Journaling (writing in a journal or notepad) is a great way to use the external loop to bring subconscious thoughts, beliefs, expectations, assumptions, judgements etc. out of your filter out subconscious into your conscious awareness. Just sit and write without giving the exercise too much conscious thought. Let your subconscious mind do the writing and see what comes out. You may be surprised at the things you write down that you did not even realise you were thinking or assuming subconsciously. You will gain a fresh perspective on them by experiencing them through your external loop. Your new awareness will give you choices about whether you wish to continue indulging these thoughts or not. This exercise can be a very powerful aid to speed up your journey of awareness.

	It takes conscious awareness and computing resources to listen fully, so it is easier for the mind to assume what is coming, or what it thinks should be coming, so it uses the least amount of resources it needs to and lessons mainly to what it thinks is being said rather than what actually is being said. That is why people often only hear what they expect to hear, because the mind is using its own expectation of what is to come rather than actually listening to what is actually being said. That is why people tell you what you are about to say next if you pause slightly, because they are actually having a conversation in their head, not really listening to what is being said. That is why people rarely hear what is actually being said and only really hear what they expect.

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Expectations

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Physiology - Body Language
If changing your focus doesn’t work, then you can adjust your physiology to access a more empowering physical personality. Your body language gives the mind information about how to feel, and the mind gives the body information about what physiology or body language to adopt to uphold how you feel. They are connected and work together to dictate your state. This interrelationship goes for any situation. If you feel that the state you’re in is not a personality conducive to achieving your desired outcome, change your physiology and approach to engender a personality that will serve you better. If you are slumped over and sunk in a chair, you are displaying a weak or disempowered physiology — not only to others, but also to yourself. You are telling your own thinking mind how you want to, or expect to feel. Your physical state is telling your thinking mind that you are down or depressed. This mood will be reflected in your focus and language patterns, and engenders more of the same physiology. Your approach an focus will deteriorate, as will what you say, how you speak to yourself and others, and what you speak about. If you continue to do this it will progress you through lower and lower quality personalities.
Alternatively, if you stand upright with your shoulders held back and a smile on your face, breathing deeply, what kind of physiology are you displaying now? Yes, an empowered, confident and strong body language, which displays an expectation of feeling good. Put yourself in this physical state rather than just hoping it happens. No matter how you feel, if you put yourself in this type of physiology and hold it for as long as it takes until you change approach, as well as changing focus to thinking about something that would cause you to feel strong and confident, you will start to feel the way this personality would cause you to feel. Your thinking mind does not want to perceive itself, nor for you to be perceived by others, as a liar, so it will follow your body’s lead. Consciously changing focus and talking to yourself in a supportive way whilst changing your physiology will hasten this process. The same goes for the disempowering states. If you choose them or hold them, they will become your experience of reality at that time. You will feel the emotional states that come with them. Remember, we ‘do’ these states; they do not do us, although if you are not choosing them consciously, they are being chosen for you by your conditioned subconscious thinking mind. Managing our body language is just part of how we choose our states.
It is vitally important that you understand why I say ‘physiology (body language) first’. As you should now know, physiology is only part of what creates a personality state. If you are only trying to change your physiological state and are still holding onto the same approach and focus you had during a disempowering state, eventually you will run out of energy. When that happens, you will return to the physiological state that corresponds to the approach and focus you are still holding. If you are having a challenge changing your personality state, first use a change in physiology to help you start the personality change, but you must also change your approach and focus to something that allows you to feel the way you want to feel, good or uplifted, and use uplifting supportive dialogue to enhance it. Physiology (body language) alone will not change a state completely. In this example it is just a tool to help you change focus, because your focus is the most important part of any personality state.
If you want to change your state, but can’t think of an empowering physiology, visualise the body language of someone you admire or respect, or at the very least someone that you have seen displaying the quality of physiology you would like to adopt. Emulate their body language and you will have a good chance of feeling the way you believe them to be feeling. You will experience their state, so to speak. Just don’t forget to change your focus to think in a way you believe they would think, or the way you would need to think to have the emotional experience that you want to have.

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Beliefs
We have already learnt about beliefs, so how do they relate to individual personalities? Personality specific beliefs are often called situation specific beliefs, if they are considered different to a persons 'normal' beliefs. However all beliefs, other than global beliefs, are situation specific. If a personality has different beliefs, it is a different personality. You will have experienced people voice different beliefs based on the side of the debate or argument they take up. And those beliefs will appear different depending on the perspective (and personality) they use.
Here is an example of personality specific (situation specific) beliefs. If you are trying to get out of a side street onto the main road, you will probably believe that people on the main road should allow you out. Yet when you are driving down that main road, and someone tries to pull out of the same side street, your belief then may be that they should wait because you are on the main road, and therefore have right of way. Especially if you are in a rushing around personality in either of these positions. These are opposing beliefs, and are dependent on your perspective at the time, and therefore your personality at the time. As each personality has its own perspective. Your agenda would be to get out of the side street in one side of the scenario, and the agenda on the other side would be to not let someone cut in front of you. These are therefore different personalities because the agenda (need) is different, and therefore so are the beliefs.

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Assumption & Projection

Finishing people sentences is a sign that you are speaking their side of the conversation in your head, which mean you are perceiving you assume version of what they are going to say, and not truly listening to anything other than your own internal conversation.

We assume our assumptions are correct and valid.

Assumption--projection--assumption
explain

Assumptions projections -- the thinking mind issues others think the same as it does and how poor should have the same beliefs. It then projects these assumptions on to others and assume is these projections to be your experience of them.

Projections are also about projecting the memories of the past on to the present, either an event, situation or the feeling or memory of a person.

Everything we assume is based on our thinking or perception process. Because we inherently believe that how we perceive is true and that other people's beliefs or perceptions appear to be wrong if they do not comply with our. We assume that theirs are wrong and ours are right. We also project our beliefs and expectations and perception onto others and assume they are real. So we assume-project-assume. We assume something and we projected onto them as if it were real and that becomes real to us. That's why people assume they think they know what's gone on other people are what they're thinking when actually all they are experiencing is their own assumption and projections. Assumptions are very dangerous because of the attachment the mind has to its own perceptions and its own beliefs rules etc it believes that they are right and everybody else is wrong. As much as they would like to believe the same things as other people at times they will make assumptions about them and their validity.

Assumptions and projections assumptions are really the outcome of our own perception process, our beliefs our expectations really our own understanding of any particular situation. Our own assumptions are based on our life experience. However because the mind inherently believes its right, it assumes that other people should believe the same. It often projects those beliefs onto other people as assumptions and we assume that other people think or at least they should think the way we do. however it's more that we assume that they are thinking in the way we think they are, which is a projection of the assumption. We project our assumptions on to them but then we also assume that those projections are real. So we actually experience people in the way we're projecting onto them. We therefore experience them based on how we expect to experience them, which means we are not experiencing them at all, and are only experiencing ourself. Projections become very dangerous when they're about rules etc, which is why so many people are so much difficulty in interpersonal relationships because they assume that their beliefs and rules should be accepted and understood by others, when actually the others are probably doing the same. When we assume that others should have the same rules as us, but they do something different, then we also assume that they're going it on purpose. Therefore there must be an agenda which usually has something to do with controlling us or hurting us, which is more often than not absolutely untrue. They are only doing what they believed to be correct based on their own perception process. So assuming they do or that they should, will only cause you pain, and that's because of the assumption that they should be acting or reacting in a certain way, which is how you would act and react. That's your perception process and not theirs. Which means you're interacting and experiencing yourself, and not them.

Unfortunately when you think you know what someone is about to say, you focus on your version of their side of the conversation and no longer continue to listen. Therefore you are only interacting with yourself, using assumption based on your perception, although you think you're interacting with them, and that your assumptions are real.

Projection reflection. Assume - project - assume.

The mental projection of yourself into the situation or circumstance of another will cause you to experience a circumstance as if it's real for you and allow you to assume that they will experience it in the same way as you. If you do not project yourself into their situation or circumstance, there is no reason for you to suffer along with them. 

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Perspective
Your perspective is exactly that, it’s your perspective. We experience everything based on our perspective, and everybody's perspective is going to be different. Even if there is just the fact that they will definitely have a different 'physical' perspective than anyone else in the same physical situation.
Your particular psychological perspective defends on your personality at the time. Each personality has or creates its own perspective. It's how you are looking at something. When two people have a different perspective, the chances are that they will actually have very little communication between them because their assumptions, beliefs and expectations, based on their perspective, will be different. Even if they're both trying to do exactly the same thing, or at least appear to be, they will see it differently. If I’m running down the street and you're running down the street behind me, then in theory we are both doing exactly the same thing, we are both running down a street in the same direction. However if I'm running away from you, and you’re running after me we have a very different perspective. My perspective is that I'm running down the street to escape you, and you’re perspective is that you’re running down the street to catch me. Two very different agendas, and therefore two very different perspectives. Although they can be seen as exactly the same from an external position, as we both appear to be doing the same thing. Your perspective is similar to your agenda. It’s also similar to your approach and similar to your focus. They also create the experience of your perspective. It’s important that you understand your perspective in any moment, which is how you're looking at something. Your agenda, your approach and your focus is all about how you're looking at something. As are all the individual parts of how you're looking at something. From your perspective you only will see or perceive what you can see somebody else may be to see something very different from their perspective. Perspective is physical as well as perceptual. 

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Attachments, Association & Relationships
Relationships also include your relationships to things, position etc as well as people – job, hobbies, friendship, food, your home etc. How you view and conduct those relationships is paramount to your quality of awareness.

It is said thaT Jesus said "blessed are those who are poor in spirit", not those who are poor. It refers to those that have no identification or attachment to ownership of anything, including ideas, concepts or experiences.

Your relationships to everything, work, home, hobbies, gender, cast, your body and so on.

Relationships and association is to pain etc.

The only stupid question is the one where you are already attached to an answer.

Each personality has its own attachments associations and needs because each personality is designed to meet a need.

Associations relationships attachments 

True non-attachment brings with it the true recognition that nothing is permanent and everything is transitory.

Non-attachment is not indifference. If you believe becoming indifferent will help you to avoid pain, you will suffer. 

Resolve or Surrender-Dissolve so the challenge is over.

The things you are attached to in any moment are really will cause you a lot of your suffering. Attachments cause cravings and need and they cause perspective to change, approach, focus and agenda to change, and as long as you have an attachment to something you will experience some level of control over the attachment because you will need certainty. Control is really the result of the need to certainty. When you are attached to any outcome you will experience suffering over that outcome at some point. Your associations, how you associate to things, and what you associate to them, will also effect your agenda, approach and your focus. How you look at what you associate to anything will decide how you perceive it. Which will dictate how you approach it, what your agenda will be, what you perspective will be. Your associations are very important, because you have an association in every area of your life, and how you associate to every area of your life will decide how you feel about that area of your life. It will also define your relationship to that area of your life, that event, situation or interaction. You have a relationship to your hobby, a relationship to your work, your friends and members of your family etc. Your relationship to them will be based on your personality approach to them. Your beliefs about them and your expectations of, or around them, and also your beliefs and expectations about you around them. These define your relationships to them, because of what you're associated to and what you attached to, what your values are, and what your rules are. What you will move towards or what you move away from, and what rules define what you move towards or away from or how you move away.  You have relationships in every area of your life. These are not only relationships to people, there are relationships to objects, people, places, situations, events and interaction.

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Positioning
Positioning is really about becoming attached to an outcome (how you want something to go), including being right or not being wrong, or taking a particular viewpoint, perspective, approach, belief or assumption, and then working towards getting or supporting that outcome regardless of the needs or feelings of others. If you want people to agree with your opinion, believe what you believe, act as you act, do as you do, or want what you want, then you have taken a position over these things. You will therefore suffer discomfort at the very least over them. Often when you take a position over something, you need to make the positions of others wrong, because you are now in competition with them. As soon as you take a position, you have something to defend. That means you have to compete, whether you want to or not. It is a process of the thinking mind. When you are attached to any outcome at all, you are taking a position, and you therefore lose your ability to be flexible in order to achieve a much better outcome. Taking a position will cause struggle. This will create tension in you that will hold your body in a state that will bring on a defensive personality, if you are not already in one. 
I remember sitting at a petrol station some time ago waiting for my turn at one of two pumps. I didn’t realise at the time that I had taken the position that I had to be the next one at either of those pumps and would therefore end up being upset if anybody tried to cut in front of me, even though I was trying to cover two pumps instead of just one. I suddenly realised that I had become tense even though nothing was going on around me that would cause me to be tense. I questioned myself to find out what was going on, and focussed on what I was feeling, and what I would need to be thinking to feel that way. I realised that my discomfort existed because I had taken a position concerning my right to both of those petrol pumps. I relinquished my position, forgave myself, and relaxed. Using higher reasoning, I told myself that regardless of which pump I reached, I would be finished shortly and on my way, which I was, with no more internal tension.
An argument is a power struggle between people who have taken different positions. Sometimes they even have the same position, but because they’re competing, they can’t hear that the other is actually agreeing. Once you take a position, everyone else becomes an adversary, and you will therefore need to compete with them. Any need to be right or be perceived in a certain way will cause you to take a position. This will always cause you struggle one way or another. I often listen to debates or arguments between people whose outcome is just to perceive themselves to win or be right, or at least not be perceived as wrong, and they keep moving from one discussion topic to another, or one subject to another, to another, taking a position on each. Often the topic of discussion has nothing to do with the original subject of discourse, and is just an attempt to find a topic or subject that will allow them to feel that they have won. The whole situation arises out of public identity and thinking fear. As long as you have or take a position, which are mostly taken over unimportant things, you stand to lose or be perceived as wrong, and that possibility therefore engenders some level of fear. Positioning is often about control and being able to measure success, or being perceived in a certain way by yourself or others. If you lose, you will suffer your own internal abuse. When people take a positional approach, they stop hearing properly because they are too busy internally working out what they are going to say next, rather than actually hearing what is being said.
The moment you become aware that there is any form of power play or struggle for control going on, or a need to be right or not wrong, take responsibility for your need, and your motivation. Immediately surrender your attachment to your position. You can only take responsibility for your own motivation, approach and need for control, so do so and feel the struggle inside you dissipate. Do not bother engaging if the other person is still struggling. It doesn’t matter what happens to them internally, unless you need to feel like you have won. If you do, you have still taken a position. Try to recognise when you are taking positions during any interaction, and practise surrendering. Surrender your position and therefore your need to compete. If you’re no longer competing, you can no longer lose. If you’re not competing, and you are feeling relaxed and happy, then you are already successful. You have achieved more than your public identity could ever reward you with. Those who compete have to risk losing, and if you suffer from public identity, it hates this, so it will keep you in one position or another. Public identity could keep you fighting to win or not be perceived as wrong forever, if you allow it to. You must first let go of what you’re holding onto before the fear of loss can dissipate, and peace can take its place. 

zxczx

Craving Is The Cause Of Much Suffering
You heard right — not desire, craving. You cannot have both peace of mind and cravings at the same time. I found out something at the beginning of my stay in India that really blew my mind at that time. Like most people I have spoken to, I always believed, based on my understanding or the Church’s teachings, that desire is the root of all suffering. As a child, I was taught in church that desiring something was bad and would cause me to suffer and possibly go to their version of hell. When I found out that it is ‘craving’ that causes the suffering, not simply desire, it was a revelation. I suddenly had an overwhelming sense of sorrow about this apparent misunderstanding that people have been taught, and that many people have caused themselves much suffering over. Craving and desire are two different things. They might be based on the same concept, but actually desire is fine as long as it does not lead to you craving whatever it is you desire. Even desiring someone sexually in the moment is fine, as long as it does not become a craving. 
You can desire anything as long as you are not attached to it or to the outcome of getting it (as long as you have not taken a position over it). As long as the desire is not selfish and you will not be disappointed if you do not get it, it will not bind you. If you are selfish, you will be disappointed, and then it will become a craving. It will therefore cause you discomfort or torment at some level. When I heard this, I recognised straightaway that I had cravings about some things, like wealth and success, or wanting to be different, or no longer suffering. I recognised the struggle, suffering and disappointment they created in me, and was overcome with rapture! I was blown away. It was actually a life-changing moment just on its own. Out of respect for the others now meditating, I ended up quietly leaving the room so I could run and jump around the corridors outside. It was amazing.
A craving is always an attempt to fill the inner emptiness caused by the gap between how you want to be (public identity) and how you perceive yourself to be (core identity) with something other than your own self-acceptance. Craving also applies to objects, people, and experiences that you perceive you have lost, thereby creating a perceived gap in yourself. Trying to get them back when they are eluding you for whatever reason will guarantee that life will pass you by whilst you’re trying. Trying to hold onto something that has gone will just cause unending suffering until surrender takes place. You can crave someone or something for the rest of your life and destroy the quality of life available to you as a result. The thinking mind will tell you that everything you need is external to yourself, and that you have to go and get it somehow, including the information about how to perceive and evaluate yourself. 
The thinking mind cannot see that you already have everything you need. How many times have you chased something or someone, only to catch it, or them, and think, “What the hell was I thinking?” Having a strong attachment or craving to not doing or avoiding something is still attachment. A craving not to do something, if based on imagination generated fear, will stop you experiencing something that may help you grow. Doing something that brings you happiness is good; however, if you ‘need’ it to happen or come about for you to be happy, it is a craving. If it is a means to an end, it is a craving. If the end is a thinking end, like certainty (control) or significance (self-importance), it is a craving. If you think it will make you feel a certain way if you get it, it is a craving.
Pursuing a craving is like moving towards a mirage. As you get closer, it moves away. The object of your craving may change, but it is still you craving. Anybody who has ever been attached to any kind of chemical substance including cigarettes and alcohol will know what a sense of craving really is, and how destructive it is. The craving for money, position or title, looks, physical attributes, possessions, fame or any other attachment can become uncomfortable or destructive. They can bring you just as much suffering as drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. The situation becomes worse if you hate what you crave. Many people who crave worldly things, especially money, hate them as well. Virtually everyone who craves cigarettes, drugs or alcohol hates them in some way. You need to understand that your life is already complete — you just need to see it that way. Being without craving can open you up to enjoy everything and does not make life boring. In fact, when you are not attached to things or outcomes, life becomes a bigger adventure with less stress, with more peace and happiness experienced. This state of being will bring you far more fulfilment than being a slave to your cravings. After all, experiencing satisfaction or short-term mental pleasure because you have temporarily satisfied your craving is not happiness. The best emotional experience the thinking mind can provide you with is brief satisfaction. If you look at the so-called ‘seven deadly sins’, they all have craving involved with them. There are seven documented sins: Wrath - Revenge will eat you up inside and is a craving. Envy - Is really just jealousy and lack of self-worth, which creates an associated craving. Gluttony - Addiction to food, which is a craving. Pride - Addiction to public identity, which fosters cravings. Pride is just a way to describe a way to feel about yourself from a public identity perspective. Pride (self-importance) and humility are opposites. Pride supports the concept of 'Self'. Humility is about letting go of the importance of the 'Self', which therefore helps weaken the illusion of the 'Self'. Sloth - Lack of self-worth, which causes you to treat yourself and others badly, and brings with it the associated cravings. Greed - A craving for self-satisfaction at the expense of others. Lust - Addiction to instant pleasures of the flesh, and is a craving. 
Every one of these indulgences will cause you suffering through the thinking mind. To me, a sin is causing yourself suffering of any kind, because I believe this goes against Creation itself.

Give a need or attachment enough attention and it will become a craving.

zxcvzxc

Behaviours & Habitual Patterns
Practice creates habit.

The behaviours are attributes of certain personalities and stop find the motivation or agenda of the personality you are in, and you understand the behaviours.

If you jump in your car and drive without consciously thinking, you will end up in the place you most often go to.

The thinking mind is actually just a computer, and all of your behaviours are just programs and data in your computer that are triggered by perception.

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Rules & Values?
What is a rule..

Each personality has its own set of rules which are governed by the identity that personality is associated to, however each personality can have its own set of different rules. That is one of the reasons why people can seem to have one set of rules for themselves and a different set of rules for others. There will also change if they switch to a personality governed by another identity.

The more extreme personality is the more different the rules and behaviours will be.

Rules are very powerful and control much of your approach to yourself, others, and life. Rules are a way of reasoning out if something has happened or not. As an example, based on particular rules, you will know if yourself or someone else has done this or not done that. To understand the personal rules you hold for yourself, ask yourself “What do I have to believe is happening in order for me to feel x? (x being a certain emotion)” or “What has to happen in order for me to experience x (x perhaps being disrespect)?” For example, “What do I have to believe is happening for me to feel rejected by my partner or friend? Or what do I believe needs to happen in order for me to feel happy?” There are many situations in your life where understanding your rules about what is going on, or what you perceive or believe is going on, will help you immensely. More often than not, any argument, disagreement or complaint occurs because someone’s rules have been broken, either yours or theirs.
Most of the rules we live by now were inherited from our parents, significant care-givers and those important to us. By learning someone else’s rules, you could become more acceptable to them, and perhaps stand less risk of rejection (conditions of worth). Sadly, most of these rules end up affecting us in detrimental ways, as they probably did the people we inherited them from, although we could not have known that at the time. The rules you carry need to be recognised so that a choice can be made about whether to keep them or not. The saying that “the sins of the father become the sins of the son” to me means that the beliefs and rules of the father become the beliefs and rules of the son, and they therefore suffer the same emotional fate. They cause the same suffering in the next person that they caused in the first. I actually believe that treating ourselves badly, or generating bad feelings within ourselves, is committing a sin, if there is truly such a thing. Whether you experience glory or disgrace in your life is dependent on the rules you associate with the experiences that bring these about, and you acquired most of them from sources external to yourself. 
Rules also allow us to decide whether we should punish ourselves or not, or congratulate ourselves, or punish or congratulate another. I’m not saying that all rules are bad, as some help us to have standards worth having. However, at least be aware of the rules you have, and decide whether or not they are appropriate to keep. Some people have so many conflicting rules that they can’t allow themselves to relax for a moment out of fear that they, or someone else, are breaking one rule or another. Most of their rules, they are not even aware they hold. The fewer rules you have, the easier it is to be happy. Tony Robbins uses this great analogy. Suppose you ask two men, “What has to happen for you to feel successful?” One man says something like, “I need to increase my income by twenty percent each year, and all of my eight children need to be at the top of their class, and my wife needs to be the prettiest woman around and always be the belle of the ball, and I have to have the best vintage car collection in the world, and I have to have the same level of physical fitness and weight all the time. Then I can feel successful.” 
The other man replies, “I get up in the morning, I look down, and I see that I am above ground. I am successful.” Which of these men do you think will feel successful, and happy more often than the other? Did you notice that the one that had the least chance of feeling successful said the word ‘and’ many times because his conditions for success were multiplied? When you use the word ‘and’ even once in association with any rule, you make getting your outcome at least twice as complicated, and that much harder to meet. This is great information to know for rules about things you ‘don’t’ want to feel — rejection, for instance. If you don’t want to experience rejection, make the rule so complex that it is almost impossible to fulfil. E.g. “For me to feel rejected, I would have to believe X was happening and X and X and X and X and X.” All of these conditions then have to apply before you can feel rejection (or anything else you want to avoid feeling). Conversely, when you want to make it easy to experience an emotion, use the word or instead of and. E.g. “For me to feel good I would have to believe Y was happening or Y or Y or Y or Y.” Thus, the fulfilment of any one of these conditions will allow you to feel good (or whatever emotion you want to experience). Consciously constructing or adjusting your rules in this way makes it far easier to experience what you want to experience, and far harder to experience what you don’t want to experience. The rules you hold for yourself and others are only part of the problem. A bigger problem comes when people expect others to live by or have the same rules as well. It is the same as expecting people to have the same beliefs as you.
I know someone who experiences constant struggle every time she interacts with anyone, because she genuinely expects the other person to have the same rules and expectations. Since she would respond in a certain way, she expects the other person to as well. Her rules make it difficult for her, or anyone else to be comfortable just being themselves in her presence. She actually lets them know that she is annoyed when they don’t respond in the way she wants or expects them to. To her mind, the other person’s response or reaction is not valid unless it is the same as what she would think or do, and of course it breaks her rule over this. This individual is so busy scanning the responses of the other person to see if her rules are being met — and going through various emotions because they are often not — that she is in constant turmoil. At the very least, she experiences strong discomfort during any interaction, and does the same even when she imagines interactions, which her fear and need for control will cause her to do constantly. 
As a result, she is always tired from the constant energy expenditure that this requires, even when she is alone. She spends much of her time subconsciously and consciously going through interactions and conversations she might have, or has had, working out how to get her rules met, or justify why they should be, and how the other person is therefore wrong. Her challenge is compounded by the subconscious effort she puts in continually trying to force herself to meet the rules she has for herself (public identity image) which for the most part, she didn’t even consciously choose. She is destined to carry on suffering in exhaustion until she changes her rules about interactions and recognises that her rules are her rules. They do not have to be anybody else’s. Likewise, when people are making judgements about other people’s behaviours, it is because they have rules about that kind of behaviour, which they believe others should agree with and uphold. If you indulge in rule-making, you are destined to suffer discomfort over other people’s behaviour as long as you live. The only behaviour you can change is your own, if you so choose. Judging another’s behaviour by your rules will only cause you to suffer, not them. 
Having a deep understanding of how the mind works with rules has allowed me to be able to help people a great deal if they lose a loved one. Many people have a rule that the feeling they get of a person belongs to that person and comes from them whilst they are in their company. The feeling we have of a person when they are in close proximity to us is ‘our’ feeling ‘of’ them. How we experience them is mainly our own mental and energetic construct, our experience of them. People therefore believe that if someone has died, they can no longer physically experience that person. They grieve over this loss. Actually, you can have that person with you whenever you want. Don’t forget that the mind does not know the difference between what actually happens and what you vividly imagine. Use this process! First, simply close your eyes and relax deeply. Then, remember a time when you were in close proximity to that person — a time that you want to remember or re-experience. Visualise that person being with you: experience the feeling of them again in the way you want to experience them. Just be totally clear that you will experience the feeling of them again. In fact, if you can get deeply enough into these memories and visualisations, you will actually be able to experience some of the sensations of physical contact with them. This is very powerful, and available to you at any time, as long as you can get past your old rule. Now, obviously only perform this exercise if it causes you to feel good, and if it doesn’t, what are you making it mean and how much of a drama are you creating from that meaning! I have guided many people through this and helped them to experience the presence of their loved ones again — sometimes without them even closing their eyes. It’s just a case of removing and then replacing the rule that says you cannot experience someone if they are not physically there, because the feeling of them belongs to them, and instead using the processes of the mind to work for you. 
Rules can be used to bypass any value or level of integrity you may have functioning through other personalities. So often I hear people say that this or that is how they treat people or situations. As long as the situations remain within normal parameters, that may be true. However, when situations change, like affairs with money as an example, all of a sudden a different personality comes forward and they find a rule that allows them to act differently. In fact, they have changed how they reason in that situation because they have accessed different rules. Someone might say, “I would never steal from another.” At that time, they may absolutely believe their statement to be true, and in that personality they would be for them. However, they will have other rules (associated to another personality) that they can access if a certain situation arises. If they were being honest with themselves, they would say, “I would never steal from another, unless I had no choice.” Now the rule has changed: if there is no choice, then it becomes appropriate to steal. Remember, each of our personality’s can have different expectations, rules and beliefs. They are called situation specific rules and are dependent on what your focus is at any particular time. How many values and beliefs do you have that are rule-dependent? What would you have to believe was happening to make a different choice in any situation, and not break your normal rules? Everything you do through the thinking mind has rules attached to it. Find out your rules, so you can have true freedom of choice.
One of the most important areas where it is really important for you to understand rules is relationships. Do you know the rules the person you are in a relationship with has — what your partner wants to experience or avoid experiencing? If not, find them out, as soon as you can. I absolutely encourage any couple to sit down and openly discuss the expectations, values and rules that both of you hold. In a non-judgemental way, with only one person speaking at a time, talk about the expectations, values and rules associated with any event, situation, interaction or outcome you can think of at the time. Do you expect you partner to support you against others no matter what? Or do you expect them to be honest no matter what, even if that means siding with your opponent? Does your partner have the rule that you should talk for half an hour as soon as you get in from work, or before you go to sleep, or that you should allow them half an hours peace and quiet when they come in from work? And what will it mean to them if you don’t honour these rules? Will they feel hurt or rejected, or something else? Find out! Do they have a rule that you should write them at least one note a day, or give them a present at least once a week for them to feel valued, or do you? Do they expect that you should leave the toilet seat down, or up, or do you expect them to? This is all extremely important stuff to some people. You need to know how they reason about these things and what they make them mean based on their rules. Otherwise, you will break their rules and this will cause them to experience discomfort or pain.
During this discussion, you need to be aware of something. You have two ears and one mouth for a very good reason. You should be listening at least twice as much as you speak. Listening is the key to learning. If your lips are moving, you are probably not listening, and therefore not learning. Never miss a good opportunity to shut up and listen. The point of this is exercise is to find out how to help your partner be happier by finding out how to be aware of what helps them feel good, and how to avoid upsetting them. Not so you can get them to do what you need them to do for you to feel better. If you have a caring partner, they will want to know your rules and values as well so they can support you more. This exercise is not about arguing with your partner about their rules, or to get them to accept yours. If you end up arguing, it is probably because a personal value rule has been broken (if you cared about me, you would listen etc.), and you need to become aware of what it is so that it does not ambush you into reaction again. Find out your partner’s rules, so that you break them far less often and therefore get on much better and have more peace. If you care about your partner, you would want to cause them the least possible amount of discomfort and suffering. More importantly, you want to help them to experience happiness. The way to do this is to be aware of their rules around any interaction or situation. If their rules conflict with your rules, then look to see if there is a way you can still be caring and supportive of your partner and their rules, whilst still supporting yourself. Perhaps see if you are taking a position or standpoint in which your rule may not be as important as you thought. In which case you could update your rules. 
Remember this, the solution is in surrender. By surrender, I mean letting go of your attachment to a particular position or standpoint. I do not mean giving in. Accept that there are times when two people have different rules and therefore different expectations about a situation or outcome. Just because you do not have the same rules does not mean that you cannot be compassionate toward each other. Be aware that their rules are different to yours but equally valid. When you know their rules, you can make better choices about how to please and how not to upset the other person if you choose to. Your rules are just ways of reasoning in different situations or interactions. If your rules cause you discomfort for any reason, change the rule, and use the other things you have learned in the book, to update the way you reason. If you expect someone to act in a certain way and they don’t, they have broken one or another of your rules. Understand that they have a reason for behaving the way they do and that it is only your rule that is causing you to feel the way you do. Therefore, it is up to you, not others, to hold true to your rules, or change them. You will have many justifications to say why your rules are valid, otherwise they could never have become valid for you. These validations will trap you into a position or standpoint and will therefore cause you to suffer, even if you manage to feel superior.
One of Tony Robbins’ world-renowned seminars is called ‘Date With Destiny’ (see resources section). It is by far the best personal development seminar in the world, in my humble opinion. During this seminar, you get the opportunity to find out exactly what your values are and the rules that govern them. Your values are what you move towards and what you move away from. They are constructed by your beliefs and expectations in any area of your life. If you get the opportunity, I highly recommend attending this seminar. 
If you meet someone new and are considering a relationship, make sure you both sit down and tell each other your values and rules (and listen). Write them down in their order of importance. Do this as soon as you are considering spending more time together and feel that a relationship may be in the making. After this one important conversation, you will both know much more about how to please or avoid displeasing the other person, and you will be much clearer about the possibilities of the relationship being successful. Of course, you are best advised to work out exactly what your rules are before you sit down to have this conversation. Alternatively, if you are both relaxed, balanced, non-reactive people, and one of you is not used to being the therapist who holds the perceived control (as this has to be an equal, balanced process), you could work them out together and help each other discover them. How many times have you got together with someone, and eventually, or very quickly, found out that their expectations of you, or how you both expect to be able to relate, or the expectations of the relationship, were completely different than you first thought or wanted? Why not clear up any misunderstandings at the beginning so that neither of you are under any illusions? Enjoy the discovery process, because more often than not, your rules will dictate how comfortable or uncomfortable you are interacting with that person — with people in general, with romantic partners, and also with the world around you. This information could help you drastically. It will also help you to move away from some of your thinking mind’s subconscious control over you.

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	Bxvbb

Justifications
Justification is also rationalisationReasoning equals rationalisation.

The stronger you can justify or rationalise your position or approach, the stronger you will be attached to it, and therefore the harder it will be to relinquish it.

Rationalisations are often lies we tell ourselves so that we can feel better, mostly about ourselves. The most destructive lies you can tell are those you tell yourself about yourself.

My justification now are about why I can succeed at anything I want to try.

Everything is justifiable to the personality that creates or indulges the beliefs or behaviours it is indulging in.

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Standards
Standards represent what you are and are not willing to accept in any area of your life.

Standards are a type of expectation (and can also be personal rules, which I will cover soon). They’re usually either accepted based on the environment you grew up in, or come from decisions you make about what you want in any area of your life. Do you drink dirty water or do you look for clean water to drink? That is a standard. Yes, you could say that it would cause you suffering to drink dirty water, so you don’t; however, how much do you suffer because of lower standards in your life? How much dirty water do you accept and ingest in other areas of your life? Standards are very important if you want to commit to change in any area of your life externally, and in some cases internally. Internally, you need to have an expectation about the standard of how you want to feel. As an example, I have standards about the kinds of behaviour I will be associated with. If people around me are behaving in a way that I notice is causing negative or disempowering emotions within them, or perhaps within me, I will either change my approach, what I am focusing on or how I am focusing, or disconnect from any interactions with them, or remove myself from their company completely. I have a standard for how I want to feel. If my environment is for any reason not conducive to that standard, I will do whatever is necessary to return to, or continue, feeling good. That often means removing myself physically from the situation or interaction. 
I also have standards for my own behaviour that are mainly based on how I want to feel. The better I feel about myself, the less I will indulge in disempowering behaviours, simply because I want to feel genuinely good, caring and compassionate towards myself as much as I possibly can. It’s not about what others will think of me. I simply want to feel good and only want to indulge in behaviours that allow me to feel good. If for any reason I do indulge in a behaviour that is not uplifting for me, I forgive myself immediately, and then do whatever it takes to return to feeling good. By consciously directing my thinking, to approach and focus on something that will cause me to feel good. Because I totally expect to feel good, and I totally believe I can feel good, whenever I choose to. I absolutely believe that I deserve to feel good all the time. Do not accept your reaction as your only option. Make a decision about how you want to feel and make your choices based on that desired feeling outcome.
We all have standards in all areas of our lives. Even people who seem to have no standards or appear to allow themselves to be abused in relationships have limits. There will always be the ‘as long as you don’t’ standard (also a rule): “you can treat me any way you want, as long as you don’t do it in front of others, or don’t cheat on me, or don’t mistreat me in front of my parents”, and many others. Basically, ‘as long as’ someone does not treat you worse than you are willing to treat yourself internally, you will usually be prepared to stay in whatever environment you are in, or at least you will have less reason to leave. 
One way to help adjust your standards is by hanging around those who have higher standards in the area of your life you want to adjust. Aspire to feeling better about yourself and associate to those who feel better about themselves than you think you do. When you raise your standards or expectations of how you treat yourself, the standard of treatment you are willing to accept from others will also change. Actively and consciously choose the standards that you would like to adopt. Then, genuinely, with the expectation and focus that you deserve them, decide how you will implement those new standards. Raise the standard of how you expect to feel on a regular basis. Do this by choosing to think the thoughts that will allow you to feel good and even genuinely great on a regular basis.

What are your standards? If the standards you set for yourself are such that you are always disappointed with yourself, you will suffer much turmoil. Unfortunately, our standards, mostly inherited or adopted from others, are a way to gauge how we should perceive ourselves. They are  also what we use to evaluate how others perceive us. Standards should be personal and they should not cause you discomfort unless you are trying to use discomfort to push you in a certain direction. Set standards and expectations for the feelings you want to experience. As long as they are good feelings, then the actual standards of your life will change. They will come into line with your expectation of experiencing good, supportive, uplifting feelings.

	Bxvbb

Resources

If a personality has different beliefs it is a different personality.

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State Enhancement - Enhancing the quality of your life
This is a tool that you can use at any time. Work out what emotion you are experiencing and decide whether you want to experience this emotion or not. If the answer is yes, start working to build or increase that emotion. How strong is that emotion right now on a scale of 1 to 10? What would you need to focus on (give your thinking attention to), or how would you need to focus on something that has your attention right now, to raise that feeling up the scale even 1 point, say from a 4 to a 5? Do it. Then use the same process to go from a 5 to a 6 etc., all the way up until you experience it as a 10. Changing your physiology (body language) is a great way to improve your state, and you can also talk to yourself to enhance the feeling of it. It’s good to try physiology first, especially if you are having difficulty increasing the emotion you want. 
If you have chosen an emotion that causes you to feel good, you can put on some music and start dancing or singing to increase the strength of that emotion. Don’t bother worrying about what you look or sound like — just enjoy it. You could fill your lungs with air, pull your shoulders back, look at the ceiling, and put a huge smile on your face. This will instantly increase the physical good feeling in you. Combine great focus (what you give your attention to) with uplifting dialogue with yourself and others and a feel-good physiology to get the best results. All of these contribute to a ‘state’ or a particular personality. Find as many ways of your own as you can to enhance the good feelings that you want to experience. Then, whenever you want, use these tools to help you feel however you want to feel. 
The same exercise works when you’re feeling a disempowering emotion, just use it with the opposite in mind during the process. How strong is the negative emotion on a scale of 1 to 10? What would you need to do, or what would you need to stop focusing on (giving your attention to) to lower the level of that disempowering emotion (or de-motion as I call them) by even one point, say from a 9 to an 8, or a 7 to a 6? Do it. Then do the same to go from a 6 to a 5. Again, do whatever you need to do to start feeling better, so this negative emotion starts to lose its power over you. Always work towards feeling better. Only use the lowering of a negative feeling if at first you have a challenge building a good feeling. Once you have lowered it enough, say to a 5 or a 4, it’s time to replace it with a good emotion. Then start building that feeling. Use the strategy above to build that new uplifting emotion to a higher and higher level, thereby increasing the quality of your life in that moment. 
As an example, I do this in traffic. If I am in a traffic jam and notice that I am starting to experience some frustration, I immediately change my focus from being stuck and held up, to acceptance: “I’m here right now and can’t do anything about it, so being upset is pointless.” Then I focus on it being a great opportunity to relax and watch life go on around me. I breathe in a relaxing way, or even meditate with a particular focus until I have created the feelings I want to experience. Same situation, different feeling altogether, simply by consciously cultivating how I want to feel instead of letting my subconscious thinking mind choose for me. I can reach a point where I may even feel a little disappointed when the traffic moves again. However, I don’t cultivate or feed that feeling and focus on something else and I stop experiencing it. I have practised this process of directing my thinking and reasoning so much that it happens very quickly for me now. Often I don’t even need to consciously direct my mind. I have done it so often it has now become a subconscious process in most cases. Practise anything enough and it becomes a subconscious process, meaning you no longer need to consciously choose to do it (although you still need to be mindful). You become unconsciously competent at it. I have done it so much because my outcome is always to feel good. Just practise every chance you get; there are many opportunities. Every moment is a new one.

	Bxvbb

Specific Memories

Almost all memory is personality specific, as all memories are created whilst in one personality or another. The intensity of your emotions created by a personality dictates the intensity of the memories they create.

Memories are created whilst in a personality, because the structure of the personality gives the basis of the experience. So therefore memories are associated to personalities. When you are in a particular personality you will have access to memories that are only associated to having been in that or similar personalities.

Personalities create memories, therefore memories associate to personalities. Personalities have associated memories, so when you go into a personality you risk experiencing its memories, and when you go into memories you risk bringing forward the personality associated to them.

dfgfdg 

Creating A Supportive Personality
	perhaps add to conclusion?

Actors do this process all the time. They construct the personalities of the people they play, often without even realising that this is what they are doing.

To create a strong personality you need to first construct all of these parts or traits of a personality in a way that supports you, and practice them whenever you have the awareness to be conscious of them. Define each in as much detail as you can and then refer to them as often as you can to stay in allignment with them. ALL with No Criticism At All. 

	When you stop functioning through a certain personality by changing your approach or focus, its particular behaviours stop als. However, you need to remember that another personality may have similar behaviours and this may take over. Consciously choosing the traits of the personalities you want to function through will change your quality of life.

Agenda - Motivation - Purpose
Approach - Attitude
Focus
Language (patterns & words)
Physiology (body language)
Expectations
Beliefs
Assumptions & Projections
Attachments - Associations
Behaviours & Habits
Standards
Rules
Justifications  - (of those beliefs, behaviours, habits, assumptions, projections, expectations, rules, language (patterns & words), approaches, body language, attachments, standards)

From Tony I learnt about the four archetypes. To me these are actually four distinct personalities that have very different agendas and therefore personality traits. The Sovereign personality, The Warrior personality, The Magician personality, and The Lover personality. To me there is also another one which is the Monk. Each one of these personalities will deal with a stimulus (event, situation or interaction) in a very different way. This is not exactly how I was taught them but it is how I see them. The Sovereign is always clearheaded and decisive. The warrior is willing to fight if needed but values honour and respect above all other things. To the magician everything is possible. The lover is soft and kind and seeks mutual benefit and connection. The monk practices non-attachment and can step back from any situation and look at it from an overview perspective, is interested in peace and tranquillity for all. Consciously cultivate these personalities as much as possible, with kindness and non-judgement for self.

AND - you Must know your Desired Emotional Outcome when constructing this personality - as it will can then be Consciously used to measure your moment by moment result - Without Judgement or Criticism.

When you have done this with commitment to feeling good and concistency, you will also have a better awareness of the personality you are operating and perceiving through in any moment.

Each choice you make compounds the conditioning to move in that direction of choice. Use this to your advantage and condition in your new choices with repetition.

When you have done this you will also have a bterr awareness of the personalities you are opperating through in any moment.

dhggh

Your Description Of The Stimulus

This is how you describe any perceived whatever the stimulus is. It is basically the outcome created by the particular personality that is filtering stimulus.

The outcome of the personality creates how you describe something to yourself.

Solutions: What story would I need to be telling myself to feel this way?

My description of any stimulus can cause struggle for turmoil
my description of myself causes me pain and suffering

labelling equals a brief description.

Happiness is just a thought away. Unfortunately, so is depression, fear and many other disempowering emotions, or de-motions. Which do you want to experience? Decide which and focus only on the thoughts that will create the desired emotional outcome. Emotional pain is created by ‘the meaning’ arrived at by your reasoning over an event, interaction or situation. Emotional pain is not in the stimulus. It is in ‘your’ perception of the stimulus that cases the pain — the story you are telling yourself subconsciously about what you believe you are perceiving. We can actually view any situation or event in may different ways depending on our ‘personality’ (state) at the time, which chooses the type of approach and focus our reasoning then uses to arrive at the meaning we get to experience. We can experience many different personalities in a day or even an hour. 
Although you may not be aware of it right now, your conscious or subconscious thinking has decided what personality, or state, you are in right now. It is important that you recognise the fact that you can create or change your own states. Here is a basic example of this. Contrary to what most people believe, we ‘do’ depression, disappointment, frustration, desperation, feeling overwhelmed, and all the other disempowering states we can experience. We also ‘do’ states like satisfaction, gratitude, forgiveness, compassion, satisfaction and so on. We either allow ourselves to or get ourselves into a personality that brings forth the ability to experience any of these feelings, plus many more. These are all personlities that we can choose to function through, consciously, or we can allow our subconscious thinking and conditioning to choose them for us. Then we get what we are given emotionally by our old conditionng.
A ‘Triad’ (a term used in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)) is a combination of three specific elements that combine in any moment to give you your experience of your reality: Focus (what and how you apply your attention); Language pattern (your dialogue or choice of words, how you speak to yourself and others); and Physiology (known better as your body language). The result of a triad is what we call “a state”. As I will show later, a state is also a personality. I’m sure we can all name or describe many states that we can get into: anger, frustration, depression, excitement, guilt, resentment, appreciation, gratitude etc. Every one of these emotions is the result of a particular state. For each of these states, there is a particular focus, a particular physiology, and a particular language/dialogue pattern that come together to compose that state. The best way to access or change a triad or state is, I believe, through your thinking focus first. This will help to change the meaning you are creating out of what you are experiencing — in other words, the story you’re telling yourself about what you perceive to be happening, or what you perceive it to mean. If that doesn’t work, or if you are having difficulty changing your focus, change your body language to the physiology of the state you want to access. I believe that the main key to a triad or state is focus; however, physiology creates the easiest shift for most people to start with, especially if they are inexperienced at directing their mind.
By changing focus, I mean focusing on what this event, situation, action or reaction, statement or response could mean if you decided to look at it differently. How could you view what is happening and describe it to yourself in a different way than you are at that moment? There is always at least two other ways to look at any situation or stimulus, and almost always multiple ways. If you are having a challenge changing how you are perceiving something, focus your attention on something completely different instead. What else could you change your focus to? What event, interest, friend, animal, interaction, loved one, object, uplifting memory, or a million other things could you focus your mind on that would cause you to feel good? There is no replacement for coming into the present moment and experiencing life as it is right in front of you, right now; however, if you can’t do this yet, at the very least use your conscious mind to only focus on and interact with, thoughts that will allow you to feel good.
Let’s say someone is angry or challenging you over something in a way that you perceive to be an attack. They may be in so much pain that they need to externalise it, or blame someone else for how they feel, or they have misunderstood you. Their attack is not personal unless you describe it to yourself as so. It does not have to mean that you have done something wrong, something to upset them, or that they’re generally a bad or angry person. How you experience them at that moment is based on how you approach it and what you’re focusing on. Your focus, in turn, will dictate the meaning you give to their behaviour,which is simply how you are describing it to yourself. Then, the meaning you apply to their behaviour generates your emotions. You could feel anger, bitterness, compassion, understanding or love over any stimulus that is offered to you. It is up to you what meaning you apply to any stimulus. This is actually the only ‘true’ control you will ever have in your life, and the only process free-will actually applies to. If someone doesn’t answer the phone when you’re ringing them to have an important conversation, and the meaning you apply (the story you are telling yourself) is that they’re ignoring you, you will feel a certain way. Possibly rejection if the person is a close friend or intimate partner, and you struggle with low self-worth; perhaps anger if the person is an employee, family member or intimate partner that you suspect is avoiding you. If you apply the meaning that they are busy doing something else and just couldn’t answer the phone at that moment, you will feel completely differently. The interesting thing is that either or neither interpretation may be the truth. However, to you at that moment, what you perceive to be real will create your emotional reality over this issue, regardless of the actuality of it.

Completely and in every detail you can think of, define how you actually want to feel moment by moment on a regular basis.

If you don’t like the emotion you are experiencing, choose a meaning that will give you the emotions that you want to experience. Change the story you’re creating in your mind to one that allows you to feel good. It doesn’t matter what the other person is or is not doing in actuality. It’s how you feel about the situation or event that matters, as this is what dictates the quality of your life in that moment. If you want to feel good consistently, you can. It doesn’t matter what the other person is doing because you can always view it in a way that allows you to feel good (or neutral at the very least). Decide right now how you want to feel most of the time. I want to feel good! What about you? When you ask yourself, “How else could I look at this event, situation or interaction that would allow me to relax and feel good?” you give yourself the opportunity to feel something completely different. Choose an uplifting alternative that has nothing to do with a personal slight, because it is never actually personal anyway. Everybody does what he or she does for his or her own reasons, and not because of you. You might be physically involved in the situation they are in. However, they still make their own choices, for their own reasons, about how they view what is happening. As do you.
I’m going to make another bold statement now. Someone can come up and shoot you, and it’s not personal. They did it for their own reasons. Even if you antagonised or pushed them, or did something that you think gave them the right to do it, they still did it for their own reasons. They made a choice and that choice was theirs to make. They made that choice because of them, not because of you. It’s no different for situations or events that are smaller or less terminal. Whatever people say or do, they say or do for their own reasons, because of who they are and how they perceive themselves and experience their world. You really need to get this concept because it could change the emotional quality of your life completely. Nothing is personal unless you give it the meaning that it is.
Wayne Dyer has a great analogy. Suppose someone says something to you and you immediately become angry. Now say we rewind that event and take the air from between the person’s mouth and your ears, as well as everything in it, so that the sample contains all of the information that you believe caused you to become angry, and then send it off to be analyzed. The person analysing it would tell us, “There are sound waves — some fast, some slow, some high, some low.” If we then asked the analyst to tell us where the pain was in the sample, they would say there isn’t any there — only fast, slow, high and low sound waves. There actually isn’t any pain in those sound waves. The pain is always created by the meaning you apply to what comes into your thinking mind through your senses. People say what they say, and do what they do, for their own reasons, because of how they perceive. You apply the meaning that you apply for your own reasons, and because of how you perceive yourself. Choose how you want to feel, and then choose to apply the meaning that generates the emotions you want to experience.

There is no inherent suffering in light waves or sound waves.

Deny the external world its power over you and you will be free!	

Our perspective also influences how we approach people and situations. We can perceive the same stimulus in different ways at different times, simply because of our perspective at the time. I’ll use this metaphor because many of you will have experienced this type of challenge in one form or another. Many years ago, I weighed thirteen stone and then reached fourteen stone. I was frustrated because I had gained weight. For me, fourteen stone was an awful weight to reach at the time. I reached fifteen stone some time later, and finally went on a diet. When I reached fourteen stone again, I was extremely happy. Now, both of those times I weighed fourteen stone. One time I was upset; the next time I was extremely happy. So what’s the difference? The difference was simply the meaning I applied to the event. My perspective was different each time I attained the same weight. So my emotional response had nothing to do with the ‘actual’ weight, only my perspective (approach) and therefore my perception of what that weight meant to me at the time. You can change your perspective to get a different meaning from an event without anything else having to change. 

Ok, I have already covered focus, so let’s look at physiology and language.

Meaning equals what something means to or about you or in relation to you.

Don't try to change the external stimulus (unless it is physically dangerous) just consciously change how you are describing it to yourself and what you are making it mean, especially about you.

vbxcvb

Your Reasoning - Direction & Quality

Information is defined by the personalities, which are chosen buy the identities, and that information is used to give reasoning information to reason with. The personaliteis are engendered by the identity they are associated to and the identities are engendered to meet the needs we are drawn to meet by our level of awareness. Our level of awareness is definded by our core identity. So our quality of reasoning is based on our level of awareness. 

Choose how you want to feel, or how you want to experience an event, situation or interaction. When you have a ‘reason’ to feel the way you want to feel, your reasoning can work to support you. Your reasoning is basically your evaluation of information, of why something is happening, and what should happen, including the emotional outcome, based on the information and type (direction) of reasoning you are using. Your questioning and reasoning is going on subconsciously all the time. Your thinking mind is constantly asking questions and making statements that are causing your lower left-brain reasoning to go away and come back with answers to the questions or reasons to support the statements. 
Also, left-brain thinking-mind reasoning uses only the information available to it in its experiential memory, whereas right brain reasoning looks for new information and thinks out of the box, so to speak. Therefore, you will never solve a problem involving yourself or your conditioned thinking with your thinking mind. The same level of awareness that created the problem cannot solve it. You can only ever solve it by raising your awareness and directing your mind to ask better questions about what you are trying to solve or resolve. As long as the questions that are offered are of a truly higher nature, and expect a new, empowering, uplifting and supportive solution, your higher reasoning will bring you to higher-level answers. It will also eventually open you to higher levels of awareness that you cannot reach using just the left-brain thinking mind. If you’re not directing your reasoning to look for new solutions, it will automatically be looking for why you should be experiencing whatever it is you are experiencing now, based on what you already know. It will therefore bring you the type of solutions you’ve always got. Raise your level of reasoning through consciously directing the mind and through questions which bring back supportive answers. Then it will start asking and looking for answers that you do not have at the present time uing the right-brain connection to inspiration and higher awareness.
If your reasoning comes to the conclusion at any time that you can or probably will fail, or that you don’t deserve to succeed, or any other unsupportive conclusion, then the question you asked to elicit the reasoning is coming from a low-level thinking-mind process, and has been influenced by an expectation of feeling, or continuing to feel, how you usually feel. Keep changing the question until your reasoning starts looking for, and supplying you with, a solution or outcome that you do not appear to have yet, and that feels good and supportive to you. Make sure you are expectant of a better outcome. When you set your reasoning off from the left-brain thinking direction, your reasoning will always look for information to use so that it can understand and that protects you, as it always expects the worst. 
The left-brain thinking mind can only use information and experiences that it already has in its thinking perceptual memory, and will evaluate the information or stimulus from that direction, unless you consciously choose the direction of reasoning. Once you start operating with right-brain reasoning on a regular basis, your supportive voice of higher reason may start to point out how to adjust your questions to get better answers. Does your reasoning allow you to break your rules? If it does, and it supports you at a high level, not just to fulfil some base need you are trying to satisfy, then you are probably using some level of right-brain reasoning.
Your reasoning also searches for how something can be true. Remember that your core-identity (how you define yourself) affects your reasoning. Therefore, if you have any negative expectations or beliefs about yourself, your left-brain reasoning will constantly be looking for why these expectations and beliefs are true, because it wants to stay updated so it can feel safe. Unfortunately, from this perspective, you will always find what you’re looking for. Whatever perspective or expectation you have, the thinking mind will find evidence to support it. That’s great if you’re looking for why you are worthy and of value, and why you deserve to experience something. However, it’s not good if you’re looking for reasons why you should perceive yourself as less than you are in any area. 
Are you looking for what’s right in any evaluation you make about yourself or others? Or are you looking at what you perceive to be wrong? How you internally approach a challenge or issue gives you your emotional experience of it. The quality and direction of reasoning dictates whether you see things as a problem or an opportunity, and whether you are searching for new answers, or relying on old ones. Does your reasoning come from optimism or pessimism? Is it half full or half empty? Does it perceive worthiness or unworthiness? The answer to these questions will likely give you a clue as to your true level of perceived self-worth, and some of your beliefs about yourself, and of course your true expectations. Your mind is only really restricted by the direction and quality of your reasoning. Your mental, emotional, and spiritual evolution is really down to the learning you experience, and how often you open your mind to higher levels of thinking and reasoning. Your reasoning can be guided by either your conscious thoughts or your subconscious thoughts. Your subconscious thinking mind will guide you in the direction you have always gone, unless it detects a perceived or imagined threat in that direction. If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always got, emotionally and experientially. Consciously direct your thinking towards the ‘feeling’ (emotional) outcome that you really, really, really want, and your reasoning will join the party and take you in a different emotional and experiential direction. 
Does your reasoning come from the direction of what you want to avoid or expect to experience, or is it employed by you to help you experience what you really, really, really want to experience? This is very important. If you want to know the true direction and quality of your thoughts and reasoning, look at the circumstances of your life — plus what you experience most often, and how you feel most of the time. That will tell you whether you are an optimist or a pessimist, and therefore disclose to you the quality of your thinking and subsequent reasoning. If you do not feel as good as you want to feel over any issue, event, interaction or situation, question it using your optimistic higher reasoning. By using the optimist, you access the highest level of information available to you. If unhindered by your thinking mind, it uses universal inspiration to create a good quality emotional outcome. Create, grow, and nurture your optimistic, supportive voice of reason. If you nurture this higher voice, it will become the second voice in your head, which will be the one that is looking to support you against your negative, self-destructive, bullying voice of your thinking mind, your internal voice of criticism. It will eventually override it, as higher vibration always converts lower vibration, allowing you to feel much better about yourself and life. 
The higher your quality of reasoning, the higher the quality of your experiential life. The higher voice of reason is what is needed to be able to use ‘thought replacement’. You need higher quality dialogue to actively direct your mind to think a thought that is uplifting and supportive. Give it your full attention so that the disempowering thought is replaced. This will help you to change the meaning (the story you’re telling yourself about how you perceive whatever it is), and therefore change the emotional outcome you get to experience.

ddghdghg

	Meaning
When you have a psychological concept of self, every experiences is related to what it means to you and about you, so actually everything is personal to one with a psychological person in place.

What is it going to mean to you, or what does it mean about you? That is the question in any perception cycle, over any stimulus. Anything that happens you relate  it to what it will mean to you (and therefore about you at some point) or what does it mean about you now?

dfgdfg

Your Emotional Outcome

If you focus on the things that will give you the feelings you want to feel rather than on what you fear, you will see an instant change in the quality of your life. By what you fear, I mean anything you don’t want, don’t like, are not comfortable with in your life, or want to change about yourself or your surroundings. Anything that you would rather not have in your life that causes you discomfort, or perhaps to even feel bad when you give it your conscious attention. Whatever you focus on predisposes you to experience more of the feelings that come with that approach and focus. The feelings you experience most consistently are the feelings that are generated by what you focus on and give your attention to consistently. It’s quite simple: change your focus. Direct your mind away from what you don’t like by concentrating (putting your conscious attention on) only on what you do like, or what you enjoy. Alternatively, look at the things you are focusing on in a way that will cause you to feel good. Such a simple concept, yet it will change your experience of life dramatically. 
Have you ever been clear-minded enough to notice that when you’re in a bad mood, people seem to keep doing things that cause you to be in a bad mood? This is actually not necessarily true. Your focus and the way you give your attention to other people because of your negative state causes you to see things in this way. People can do the same things when you’re in a good mood and you may experience them very differently. The truth is not necessarily that more of those triggers have been placed in your life (although that can be true in so far as negative feelings attract more of the same to you). It is that your approach, focus, attention, are causing you to experience more of what your focus expects to experience. You are ‘sensitised’ to them. If you are finding evidence of what is wrong with a person, then you are focusing on, and therefore looking for, what you perceive to be is wrong with them. It cannot be that you’re focusing on, and looking for, what you perceive to be right with them. You simply cannot hold the opposite focus or expectation in your conscious mind at the same time. You cannot focus on what you don’t like about someone and expect to experience what you like about them. Your thinking mind doesn’t work that way, simply because the two internal processes are part of different thinking programs.

Keep your face towards the sunshine and you will not see the shadows.
      -- “Helen Keller”	

If you’re constantly feeling negative emotions, it is important that you consider the reality that you may be more comfortable feeling this way than any other. You simply would not be focusing on things that generate a negative feeling if you didn’t get some perceived benefit from these feelings. We were not wired to feel bad, but thinking makes it appear that way. We are wired to feel good, so something about this behaviour gives you a good or safe feeling. It may be that your expectations have been met, so you feel a sense of safety through your perceived certainty. Perhaps you allow your subconscious mind to do all the directing and you are just a victim of what it chooses to look for or focus on. 
Feeling safe may be the closest you are prepared to get to feeling good. Human beings will only perform actions that have some kind of a pay-off. Everything we do, we do for a reason. A lot of the people who complain about how bad their life is actually want to feel bad. For them, this emotional state is the easiest way (or the only way they know) to try to stay safe. In their own way, this is how they avoid perceived pain. Even though they will tell you that they want to be happy, they probably spend their days predominantly focusing on, and looking for, reasons to be offended and upset — not because they are bad people, but because they subconsciously generate (through their focus) the feelings that are familiar to them, or because deep down they believe they don’t deserve to feel any better. In the end, everything comes down to your level of self-worth and what you believe you deserve.

Bxvbb

True Feelings

A desire or drive to fulfill a gen survival need, or experience life in a much higher way is a real feeling.

The difference between true emotions and created emotions is a very important distinction. I personally think that there are actually only around nine or ten of what I will refer to as real emotions: Happiness, Surprise, Awe, Excitement, Anger, Revulsion, Compassion, Gratitude, Fear, Sadness (not created grief based on the meaning you create), and possibly Love. I say ‘possibly love’ because I believe true love may be above emotion, or really the highest level of feeling we can experience, and maybe just the combined experience of all uplifting emotions experienced at the same time. Dualism (yin-yang, love-hate, heavy-light, you-me etc.) exists only in the physical world, not the spiritual world, and true love may be beyond our physical ability to truly comprehend it. Most of the time, what we call love is a combination of good feelings associated to something or someone. A sense of love can most easily be felt through happiness and gratitude combined, as well as happy, compassionate caring for another creature. Every other emotion you experience is some combination or abstract of one or more of these true emotions, which can only be a thinking mind construct of them. 
All of these emotions are spontaneous and feeling and either meant to keep you safe, or cause you to feel good and alive. They are also experiential and spontaneous, in-the-moment emotions. None of them were meant to make you feel bad. You can feel good, then become angry because of a genuine stimulus, and let it go quickly to return to feeling good. Having compassion causes you to feel good about yourself. Happiness causes you to feel good about yourself and life. Surprise is a very fleeting emotion and you can continue to feel good whilst you are surprised. At least the emotion itself carries no reason to feel bad — surprise is usually just a call to action by the mind to evaluate a situation for possible threat. As long as there is no actual threat, you can immediately return to your previous state, letting the adrenaline and other effects naturally dissipate. Any emotion (other than genuine fear based on a physically threatening stimulus) that causes you to feel bad is generated or created by the thinking mind, or the thinking mind is interfering and adjusting your perception of another true emotion at that time. These emotions can be created or simulated by a thought process and used to serve any purpose of the thinking mind.
Happiness (higher mind) - The true feeling of happiness comes when you are using your true nature to fully experience the moment and whatever you are doing in that moment. True happiness is an experience of the joy that is available in any moment and is not governed by rules applied by the thinking mind. It is not experienced as the achievement of goals — that is the thinking mind’s construct of happiness, and is only satisfaction based on thinking needs being met. Happiness for no apparent reason is the emotion you will experience most of the time when you are fully present in the moment. When you are in the moment, even if you are thinking you are going to be accessing a high level of reasoning. There is usually no reason to feel any other way, because higher reasoning looks for reasons to be happy. Happiness is the emotion we should experience virtually all of the time. Believe it or not, we are actually designed to do just that. You only need to look at a child that has not developed its thinking mind yet, and who is not suffering any physical illness that is causing it pain, to see that it is always happy, and always wants to be. Bliss, joy, rapture and other variations of higher-level happiness fall into the same category. 

Happiness created by psychological processes is satisfaction, and is an emotion, it is not the true 'feeling' of happiness.

Surprise - This is an emotion that calls the body to readiness. It focuses all of the senses in order to check out and evaluate the environment. It brings your whole being to a level of alertness for a split second. If you were able to stay present in that moment of alertness, you would be able to experience multiple sensory inputs at once. Time appears to slow down because the mind is running, or evaluating, so much faster than normal. Surprise also heightens whatever other true emotions have been triggered once the reason for surprise has been identified.
Awe (higher mind) - This is our highest perception of experiences such as beauty. Wonder can be classed as a level of awe. If you can cultivate this feeling by focusing on the beauty of anything around you, including the miracle of yourself, you will feel far happier in your life. There is so much more beauty in this world than there are causes of discomfort, if you only look with an open heart. Everything you see, touch, taste, hear, smell and feel is a wonder to experience if you allow yourself to embrace the miracle of it.
Excitement (higher mind) - I will treat excitement as a true emotion, as I experience a sense of excitement just by being awake, with no apparent expectation of outcome, although I do have the expectation that I will feel excited, so that could create it. Note that this feeling is usually based on expected events that are not yet reality. One person could feel excited and one could feel fear over the same expectation. Excitement can be dependent on a thinking process and therefore for most is mainly a constructed emotion. It is actually very similar to fear, and if we really look at it, we can feel fear and excitement almost simultaneously depending on how we are perceiving it through how we focus on it, and even alternate between the two. If you manage your mind well, you can turn many experiences of fear into excitement, because both are really just interpretations of anticipation or an anticipated outcome. If you are anticipating something uplifting, you may get excited; if you are anticipating something disempowering, you may become fearful. Change the focus of your anticipation so that you experience excitement instead. It is a positive feel-good emotion. I enjoy it and experience it spontaneously, so I will class it as a true emotion for the purposes of this book.
Anger (Primal Operating System) - True anger is an energetic state. It allows us to reach a level of energy very quickly that can physically help us or protect us from attack or allow us to attack, if that is needed, or to physically protect others, perhaps our children etc. True anger is designed to help defend against physical injury or threat. It was not designed to protect against imagined emotional injury. That process is something that the thinking mind has recruited it to do. True anger can follow instinctual fear or true surprise, and also triggers many physical responses. Anger brings on the physical effects of chemicals like adrenaline, which can last a couple of minutes for each experience of anger, even after the anger itself has dissipated. Anger is not a good state to be in, and therefore should only ever be triggered by physically threatening or dangerous situations. Otherwise, your body is in an unnatural state for prolonged periods and this can bring about illness.
Revulsion (Primal Operating System) - I believe this is another state that is part of our survival mechanism, the operating system. Amongst other benefits, it helps us to decide if a food is edible or not if we are starving. The reaction has to be strong enough to override our survival need to eat. Revulsion may also limit our ability to cause physical harm to other living creatures, as long as the thinking mind does not override it. There are, of course, other stimuli that can trigger revulsion, but I won’t go into them here because I want you to feel good. Some may also refer to it as disgust, which can also be a set of thinking mind rules applied to elicit revulsion if we start to experience those things it has attached this emotion to. This emotion can of course be created and simulated as a thinking mind construct, as can most true emotions, and could be perceived as real by the person experiencing it.
Compassion (higher mind) – By compassion I do not mean pity or sorrow. They are a result of projecting your own imagination of the perceived experience onto another, or others, of how you would feel if you were them. I believe that a sense of caring for others is a true part of our programming. However, the thinking mind, by causing people to be so selfishly self-focused, because of alone and separate type thinking, makes it hard for most people to experience compassion. Most people will only have compassion for someone who is in a similar position to one they have been in, are in, or one they do not want to be in. They are just identifying with the other person as if it were themselves. This is identification and is not the same as true compassion. Most people can have true compassion for someone who has been injured physically, without having experienced the same injury. It’s about being able to care about others. I believe that Karma is designed in part to teach compassion. Having a good feeling for someone, as well as being happy for their successes, is also a form of compassion. A feeling of caring for others also includes other species of life. 
People with low levels of awareness, like those living through the victim identity at any level, are so focused on ‘self’ that they override compassion for others and go into their own story, which is just another strategy to experience self-pity. Often they feel nobody has compassion for them: “Why should I feel compassion? No one feels it for me, and my life is worse than theirs.” A very low-level thought process, driven by low self-esteem, is fuelling this low-quality reasoning. I do believe we all experience compassion at some level. We all have an innate understanding of the human condition, and a need to care, as we are programmed to be social, tribal creatures. We need others to care about us and others we can care about. As we grow in our ability to experience compassion, we start to take all creatures into account as mankind once did. For me, I will do as much to save a bug, if it has my attention, as I would to protect any bigger life form. Why should there be any difference? A life is a life, no matter how your thinking mind measures its significance compared to itself.
There is an internal warmth that comes with the feeling of compassion. I suggest taking some time and writing down exactly what compassion means to you — how you experience it, how you show it and expect it to be shown. When you feel true compassion for someone (not pity or sorrow, as they are personal projections), what does it feel like in your body? Get totally involved in the feeling of compassion so you can know what the experience of this feels like to you. Go into as much detail as possible, because growing your understanding of compassion, for yourself as well as others, will improve your enjoyment of being you. Identifying its special feeling in you will also help you associate with it quicker if you need to direct your mind away from a less empowering thought process, and so you can experience this wonderful feeling at will.
Gratitude (higher mind) - This is a very strong emotion. Most people don't get what they think they want because they are not already grateful for what they have. When you are experiencing true gratitude, you cannot experience any disempowering emotion at the same time. Gratitude comes from the right brain where low-level thoughts do not exist. You can, of course, experience the high-level emotions of compassion, happiness and excitement in conjunction with gratitude. It is a great tool to use if you’re feeling any kind of disempowering emotion. Find all the reasons you can to feel gratitude: what you like about yourself, your life, the people around you, the fact that you’re alive, or anything else that gives you any sense of being grateful. Do your best to experience this emotion as often as possible. It is one of the highest-level emotions you can experience, and one that will attract the best quality of life toward you, and help you to manifest your supportive desires.

Fear (Primal Operating System)
There are two kinds of fear. One is real and one is created by the disempowering future fantasies of the thinking mind’s collusion with your imagination. Here, I am referring to the real emotion that accompanies physical danger. Fear is simply a state that calls us to action for survival, and should not be present all the time, or even often. It is generated by our instincts in the moment, or by visually seeing a truly life-threatening stimulus, or something physical that has the potential to cause physical injury and which triggers adrenaline. Our instincts are attached to true emotions. By instincts, I do not mean what your mind thinks is going on; I mean your operating systems, base level reaction to its surroundings. Instincts are part of the operating system that allows us to survive: it evaluates if there is any immediate ‘physical’ danger and if there is, it triggers the emotion of fear to bring your body into a state of readiness for ‘fight, flight or to play dead’. Instinct triggers thought. Specifically, the only thoughts that should arise should be to evaluate how to avoid that physical threat. The body can bring the mind to a state of readiness through fear. In reverse, the mind — because it has senses like sight and sound feeding into it — can bring the body to a state of readiness by triggering fear and therefore adrenaline for energy and awareness. We can also be triggered by the type of instinct that comes from the right-brain prefrontal lobe, the inspiration receiver. We can be informed by universal influence that something is imminent without having any external stimulus to say it is so. This is higher instinct, whereas instinctive reaction is operating-system-level reaction to stimulus.
Unfortunately, the thinking mind has become so powerful that it can now filter, suppress or override instincts to serve whatever purpose it needs serving. Many times, people have said they should have followed their instincts (gut feeling) but their thinking mind convinced them of another path or strategy, which turned out to be the wrong one. They were fulfilling their thinking needs and not following true instinct. A person will walk into a situation nowadays in which their instincts are screaming for them to leave. Since their public identity (or so-called ego) would cause them to feel bad about themselves if they ‘gave in’ to the feeling, they walk into a potentially life-threatening situation, overriding their true instincts in doing so, and perhaps losing their life. Nevertheless, they would probably say that their instinct told them not to run and to ignore the fear that was trying to signal them. This interpretation cannot be true instinct and must be thought. You will never see an animal override its instinctual feelings to avoid threat or danger. Never! They do not suffer from public identity and the thinking condition in the way humans do. They may freeze on the spot rather than run, but that is an attempt not to be noticed or to evaluate a threat. Once they are sure they have been seen, or have decided what the threat is, they will fight, play dead, or run. Humans sometimes freeze because they simply do not know what to do — in the hope that whatever the stimulus is, it will go away, or that it will lose interest if they do nothing. That is not overriding their instincts in the way I am describing; this is using a particular strategy.  It is still an attempt at survival in the best way they have evaluated to approach it. However, moving into danger when your instincts (primal operating system) using the vehicle of fear, warn against doing so, is purely a thinking problem, and another example of how the thinking mind has become too dominant and can override all perception.
Instinct is mainly a feeling that you should or shouldn’t do something. It is a feeling but not an emotion. When you can sense your ‘true’ feeling about a situation, and it is different to what you ‘think’, then it is the feeling that is true. The instinct comes to you from a part of your system that is not the thinking mind. Therefore it comes from a higher intelligence, a non-thinking intelligence, a higher knowing or a deeper level of primal survival programming. Always trust your instinctive feelings, i.e. your immediate gut feeling, over your thought. When you can trust your instincts implicitly, and live in the moment without manipulation from the thinking mind, you will be able to experience spontaneous right action in any situation. However, you must live in the moment to do this, as instinct is only present in the moment, and not in the thinking mind. S projection of past on future (psychological time). I am not talking about feeling ‘thinking fear’ and assuming that because you feel fear, it must be real. Recognising the difference between instinctual fear and imaginary fear takes time and experience. We have been conditioned with thinking fear for so long that it is hard to distinguish what is real and what is imaginary. The true emotion of fear is only generated when there is a genuine possibility of physical harm or injury. If you are about to jump out of a plane with a piece of canvas strapped to your back, you will be experiencing some level of genuine fear. It will be more like apprehension if you have planned well and are managing your mind well. You will also be experiencing imaginary fear, because your mind will be running through all the possibilities of injury. There are times when it is good to override fear — for instance, the experience of skydiving is one worth having, as are many other fear-generating pursuits. The operating system (your underlying programming) is not interested in what the situation is, or what precautions have been put in place to ensure safety. It is only recognising that there could be physical danger and alerting you to the fact. Any adventure driven person will also tell you this is a good thing and keeps complacency out of the experience.
Overriding true fear, knowing that there are protections in place to guarantee maximum safety, can be a great activity when done correctly. If your fear is based on genuine physical threats, it is prudent to take precautions to minimise that physical threat, for obvious reasons. Imaginary fear (any fear where there is no immediate physical threat), on the other hand, should always be challenged. Knowing the difference will give you far more freedom of choice. When you face and transcend any imaginary fear, you relieve yourself of many similar fears. Some of them will be ones you are not even aware of. Facing a fear will eventually cause it to dissolve, and this will also cause other, similar fears to dissolve without having to face them. Clouds look so solid and real from a distance that you imagine you could sit on them, that is, until you get close to them, and then you see the illusion of your thinking or belief. Remember this: if there is no physical threat present in that actual moment, the only way you can experience fear is by remembering a fearful situation in the past, or by fantasising about a disempowering or fearful situation in the future. This is the cause of anxiety and if it is fed, it will cause some people to experience debilitating anxiety, commonly know as anxiety attacks. If you are in the past or the future, you are not in the present moment. That in itself can generate false fear. Where there is any phsychological fear, there is a real opportunity for growth and happiness.
Love (higher mind)
True unconditional love is the energy that binds the universe together, and is almost impossible for us to truly experience in the limited physical incarnations. The love we give to others is the only love we really get to experience. Hence, the sooner you can learn to give and express love, the sooner you can experience love. Love does not make the world go around, but it certainly makes the ride worthwhile. I believe that true love is beyond emotion, even though we experience a version of love through emotion. Love is partly the feeling of being connected to something higher than this physical form, as well as the absolute enjoyment of that connection, which brings with it the experience of Oneness. 

True Love can be experienced toward all creatures, including one’s perceived adversaries & enemies.	

The apparent experience of Love appears to be much easier for us to experience if it is attached to another person, or especially another less threatening living creature. As our ability to experience love increases through better reasoning and higher thoughts, we are able to experience caring love for more and more people, until eventually we can experience it with anyone regardless of their behaviour, attitudes, physical appearance, beliefs or approach to life. We don’t have to agree with them or support them in disempowering behaviour, but we can still love them. Through love, we create a community awareness: ‘we’ and ‘us’ instead of ‘me’. It’s possible that the root cause of all psychological and existential suffering is lack of love, which includes the need to be loved, and the need to love, which is usually just a lack of love for the self. True love does not have an opposite. You could say that fear is the opposite of love, but fear is not, and should not be, a state of being. Fear is and should be a temporary state. Fear is merely a survival mechanism, and we can still feel love whilst experiencing fear. Love can be, and should be, a state of being. You can happily experience the feeling of love continually. We’re actually programmed to be able to do this, except that we are conditioned out of experiencing it most of, or all of the time, because we think way too much, and in way that often causes it to be impossible to experience love. 

If you have never truly felt love for an animal, or one of Gods creatures, not need, but true love, you will be emotionally and spiritually incomplete.	

False Love (Thinking mind)  - To make sure there is no confusion about true love, I am going to talk here first about ‘false love’, which is the feeling generated by the thinking mind. False love is situation and rule dependent. The feeling that is quite often referred to as love is usually just a level of comfort with someone or something. Maybe they are satisfying a set of needs and rules you have, or perhaps just not triggering fear or pain in you. Therefore, the feeling when you’re around them is nice, certainly initially. Since the thinking mind is a pain-avoidance mechanism, lack of pain or fear in relation to a person can be perceived as love in any relationship if you have never experienced genuine love. However, the real test of false love is when things are not going so well. False love can turn to hate if the rules that they met to start with, or others, are broken, or your needs are no longer being met. This then, is not true love. This is just ‘mind’ love, or thinking love. 
Need can also be confused for love. Be aware that rejection does not show your level of love; it usually just shows your level of need, and your accumulation of historical pain associated with rejection or perceived rejection. By this, I mean the accumulated pain of all the times you have been, or thought you were being rejected in your life, including feelings of rejection by your parents or significant adults when you were very young, and your rejections of yourself, and the stacking effect of blaming those rejections on your lack of worth as a person or individual. All of these events are linked together by the thinking mind to feel like one experience, and projected onto others, giving them the ability to trigger it in you if you perceive that they have rejected you. Rejection brings you face to face with how you really feel about yourself, and your level of self-worth, and triggers your internal abuse. That is what causes the pain, and that cannot be fixed by getting back the object of your attachment. Although getting the object of your attachment can temporarily alleviated it and give you the illusion that your pain is about the object of your attachment.
I have witnessed so many people (including myself in the past) experiencing what they call ‘love’ for someone when they have been rejected by them. Even if they really wanted to escape from this person, or didn’t particularly want to be with them before they were rejected. It’s very often the one being rejected who suffers the most. Some people spend most of their time in a relationship looking for signals that they may be rejected so that they can get out of the relationship before they are rejected, or so they can reject the other person first (because they often fully expect to be rejected at some point anyway), thereby hopefully avoiding the added pain of rejection. I have seen people desperate to get back with someone just so they can end their rejection pain. Then they reject the other person in turn, so that the relationship is still over, but this time they are the one doing the rejecting. They seem to think this is about love. Actually, it’s about the thinking mind that wants to avoid the pain it is experiencing. It knows that the stimulus triggering the pain is the perceived loss of the other person. Remember, the thinking mind is a pain-avoidance mechanism. For it, less pain is equal to pleasure. Therefore, it perceives that the quickest way to get out of pain, and thereby gain perceived pleasure, is apparently to get back with the person. It doesn’t matter to the thinking mind that the pain is only caused by your perceived lack of self-worth and the abuse you rain down on yourself for being discarded or discardable. We assume that, because our drive to be with this person is so strong and we are in so much pain without them, we must love them. This is not love; it’s just need and stacked historical perception pain. More often than not, if you are rejected and manage to get back together with this person, thinking it was love driving you, after a short period of time you will realise you probably don’t really want to be with them. That is the signal that your feelings are about avoiding rejection, and not about being in love. Remember this: rejection can cause obsession. 
The solution to the suffering you are feeling from rejection, or any other form of suppressed pain, is to experience it to its conclusion (in safety, by this I mean alone or in a safe place) without trying to end it. Let it dissipate on its own. Allow the story that is running inside you to complete. You probably won’t even know what the real story is that’s running underneath, and you don’t need to. Just let the feelings run without taking any action at all. Do not try to increase the feelings, and do not trying to speed up the process. It can actually happen much faster than you think. As long as you’re not feeding the story, or creating more stories, or more reasons to abuse yourself, and therefore creating more pain, the feelings cannot last forever, no matter what your thinking mind will tell you. The thinking mind will want to stop your pain immediately. It will try to interfere. The solution, however, is to experience the pain and let it go. Do not try to hide it, hide from it, suppress it, or disconnect from it. Express it and let it go. Do not get involved with the story, or continue running scenarios that actually generate more pain. Simply sit with the pain and experience it, without giving it any ‘meaning’ at all, and let it pass. Do not wallow in it, or feel sorry for yourself, or cause yourself more suffering. Just experience it without judgement, knowing it will pass, and you will feel much better. If you find yourself getting involved with the story, you need to direct yourself away from indulging it, or it will just continue. Trapped pain only needs to be experienced once to be released. Once it has been experienced and released without any contributions from your thinking mind, whatever it was, no longer has any power over you. It is over because it has come to an end.
True Love (higher mind) - True love, on the other hand, is very different. When you truly love someone, you care immensely about their happiness, and will do so over yours. If that means they can find more happiness with someone else, then you are prepared to let them go, because you want them to experience everything that they truly deserve in their life. If you also love yourself, their leaving does not reflect on your value or self-worth. Yes, your acceptance could be seen as an extreme form of expressing your love, but if you are capable of it, you are truly a lover, and will probably never have to worry about your partner leaving you for not loving them enough. If you can truly love at this level, you are probably dedicated to pleasing this person as much as you possibly can. I do not mean out of need, or by compromising your own boundaries or self-worth, or being a martyr or a pleaser, or relinquishing your own ability to feel happy. You would not be doing it for what you get back, but for what you want to give, because you love them and truly want them to be happy. The experience of high level love is about giving, not getting. When you truly love someone, you give them everything you have with no expectation of a return on your investment. If they are capable of loving you back to the highest level, they will give you everything they have to give as well. Then there will be no sense of neediness. 
When there is no expectation of anything in return, when they do their best to meet their partner’s needs without compromising their own boundaries and love for themselves, an extraordinary level of relationship is experienced. These relationships are very rarely experienced in this day and age because of the influence of the thinking mind. Its predisposition to approach anything through fear, its sense of separation and aloneness, which has set up the concept of ‘you or me’ rather than ‘we’. The thinking mind is basically selfish and only interested in its own needs.
This level of connection, more importantly, can also be experienced when loving yourself. If you can experience this level of relationship with yourself, you will never suffer emotionally again. View yourself as the most important person in your life, your internal partner and your best friend. Be the person you’re prepared to give anything to help and support, encourage, praise, and forgive, no matter what happens. If you can do this, you will let go of the need to have another person in your life to fulfil these needs. You will be free to experience unconditional love. When there is something missing in your relationship with yourself, and someone else can come in and fill that gap, they can also leave you and take it with them, leaving you feeling incomplete again. When you have it already, they can enhance it, but they can never take it away if they leave. If they can bring it to you, this creates a fearful state because you can be rejected. You will probably spend a lot of your time monitoring them to see if they’re about to hurt you. This in turn can cause your thinking mind to go through all the scenarios of how they might let you down and cause you pain. You also start to contemplate, simply out of your own fear, how you might pre-empt them hurting you, and will therefore be able to get out of the relationship before they manage to do that to you. How can you possibly feel good, comfortable, connected, happy or free with this going on? How can your partner? 
When someone entering your life enhances your life, but does not complete it because it is already internally complete, there is no neediness projected onto that person. They are free to be themselves because they are no threat to you. You are not measuring their actions or judging them through fear. I suggest that they will love you even more for this approach to them. The solution to the above challenge is being able to give yourself everything you need, so that you don’t need it from anybody else. Work out what you really believe you get from having another person in your life. What kind of people do you choose and how do they treat you? How do you want them to treat you? By that, I mean how do you want them to praise you, or help you feel good, or support you? What do you need from them to feel of value to them? Write down your answers in as much detail as you can. Once you have them, you’ll know exactly what you need to give to yourself. If it’s praise, validation, support or encouragement, give those things to yourself. Not from a false public identity perspective, but honestly. Treat yourself as you would your very best friend if you wanted to support them completely and never have them feel bad. Catch yourself doing things right. Find your strengths. Accept anything you see about yourself that you consider to be a challenge. Sing a happy song about all the traits and behaviours you may want to change in yourself. Laugh about them and give yourself permission to let go of your expectations of yourself and just be you. After all, at least for the moment, you are human. You are also perfect just as you are, the way you were meant to be, complete. Its only your perception of yourself that defines how you experience anything else.
Loving yourself is something that is constantly advised. However, it’s something that is very, very rarely explained. I believe self-love is about treating yourself ‘lovingly’ rather than just having this feeling of love for yourself. Treating yourself as the most important person in your life, the one you wish to be the happiest with. Do everything you need to do to help yourself to be happy and at peace. Depending on your level of awareness, you might doubt that this is possible, or even think it is ridiculous. Please hear me when I say you absolutely deserve this, especially from yourself. Nobody is more valuable or important than you in your life; nobody is more valuable or important than each of you in the eyes of Creation. Remember, you are not your thinking mind. Your thinking mind is the one with the challenges to resolve, not the true essence of you that exists beyond the thinking mind, observing your life from within. 
We can feel unconditional love for children no matter what they do wrong, at least when they are very young, because we know they are inexperienced in life, and just do not know any better. We can forgive them immediately, if we know how to forgive, and they haven’t triggered a process in us that causes turmoil that is then blamed on them. We do not tend to have a pile of rules that we use to evaluate whether we should or can love them. We love them anyway. If you approached all your relationships like this and did not hold rules for other people’s behaviour (or have flexible rules if you must have them so you can be compassionate rather than judgemental) or how they should perceive you; if you accepted them for all their frailties, struggles and challenges, as well as for all the great things about them, you would have an extraordinary relationship and life with them, all of the time.
Loving yourself, or treating yourself lovingly, is really the key. When you love yourself, other people can’t affect you with their words or their actions. It becomes a joy to be in your own company. When you reach this level of self-love, people can’t help but want to be in your company, even if it scares them a little. There is a certain feeling that comes from someone who has unconditional self-love, who treats themselves lovingly. Their presence raises the level of vibration in a room, and in the people who come into proximity with them. Probably the most common observation made throughout history about people who have become awakened or enlightened is what it feels like to be around them. The feeling of love that emanates from them is palpable. It is not some energy that is channelled through them because they are awakened or enlightened; it comes from them, because they experience self-acceptance and self-love and therefore love for everything else, at such a high level. Love is a very high vibration, and these people vibrate at this level virtually all the time. Therefore they experience love all the time. Unconditional self-acceptance and self-love are not only attributes that become stronger as someone becomes awakened; they are a prerequisite in most cases and therefore the only true passages to becoming awakened and then enlightened.

The feeling is an experience in and of itself, and emotion creates an experience.

True feelings cannot be described, emotions can because they are generated by conceptual thinking.

Emotions stop you experiencing the divine because they are created by the mind. Feelings on the other hand, are a manifestation of the divine.

Bxvbb

Emotions - Psychologically Created Feelings 
Emotions are a way to describe what something feels like to you and/or in relation to you. All constructed emotions come from an evaluation of the self.

You don't hurt someone's feelings, you just trigger their thinking which creates emotions over their perception of self, and what they make it mean about their 'self'.

As the thinking mind became more complex it started to create more complex emotions to give more meaning to events. As a imagination started being used more and more by the thinking mind, then it also created the dilemma that came from imagining situations that generated these emotions, and therefore they became events to avoid as well.

Emotion is the indicator of what to remember. The thinking mind creates physiological intensity through created  emotion to give meaning to events, situations and interactions.

Emotions are created based on the concept of the self, and are created in relation to the concept of the self.

For me, reaping what you sow means the emotions you create give you your experience of life, so what you create, you get to experience - emotionally.

What was the emotion I just experienced or am experiencing? What would I need to be thinking to generate this emotion? Accept it by saying to yourself “this is how I am at this point in time”. Breathe deeply and thank the emotion for what it can teach you about yourself.

Fear of the unknown is psychological fear. The fear of death is only fear of losing the known, as well as fear of the possibility of physical pain. But it is far more about psychological fear than anything else. I fear that everything you believe you are, that you have accumulated or have learned, will be lost. This is all based on the base level need for certainty, and the mind knowing that physical death means the death of the physical mind, which is based on the concept of the self. So really it's just the concept of the self being afraid of dying.

Whereas true emotions are a spontaneous experience, created emotions require a thinking concept to fuel them and give them life. In the English language, we have words to describe literally thousands of emotions, and almost all are created by a meaning applied by the thinking mind. When the mind gives you an impression of what is going on in the external world, outside of itself, it takes information from all the senses. The thinking mind filters this information based on its approach and focus and then applies meaning to the event, situation or interaction as it decides is appropriate. We then generate the emotions that fit with our perception at that moment. The thinking mind adds information to this loop based on its experiences, beliefs and expectations. The thinking mind can make a full-colour motion picture out of a small bit of information. In other words, it can make its own imaginings very complex and they can appear absolutely real, even though they may be complete fantasy or fabrication to suit its needs. . These created emotions are basically any emotion or emotional state that is created through the meaning applied to anything by the thinking mind. 
These emotions can also be what the thinking mind ‘thinks’ these emotions feel like. Since true emotions do not come from the thinking mind, the thinking mind must simulate an emotion, or create a meaning that engenders what feels like a real emotion, and then keep it going with imagination so you experience it. It can get you to create negative emotions by directing you to feel a certain way, which creates a certain state in you. The basis of these states is usually a culmination of stacked simulated emotions from the past: anger, frustration, disappointment etc. The thinking mind then uses them to evaluate imagined situations or events in the future. (By definition, any perceived event in the future has to be an imagined fantasy created by the thinking mind.) These negative feelings are brought in and applied to the present as the thinking mind sees fit. Unfortunately, the thinking mind is predisposed to approach things from a pain avoidance perspective, so it has a tendency to create negative emotions in some form, unless you override them with higher-level reasoning.
One day I was presented with the learning gift of a client who had conditioned herself to live almost completely through thought, even more than most. I was not aware enough at the time of the dynamics of this process to recognise her condition, which meant I was ready for this particular learning. I developed the ability at a young age to ‘feel’, or tune into what was possibly happening with other people emotionally. By that I mean I could usually tune into, and get the feeling of a person, and sometimes even experience the emotions going on in them at times. Therefore, I have always received emotional feedback from any interaction with people. I can only really explain it as the ‘feel’ of them. I reached a point where it became difficult for people to lie to me because I could sense underlying feelings that exposed the possibility that something was not congruent with what they were saying. That does not mean I knew what they were thinking as that is not possible for anyone. I just experienced emotional energy generated by the thoughts. 
I became used to sensing other people in this emotionally connected way, which would change and evolve as the interaction evolved. With this client, what I found was that I was unable to experience her emotionally in the usual way. I could see emotional states that she displayed, but I couldn’t feel them. There was something incongruous about the emotional states I saw displayed, because I couldn’t feel them, which confused me. At first, I put the lack of feedback down to my inability to experience her in this way. However, I soon noticed that this ability had not stopped working with anyone else. There was no one else I had difficulty experiencing, and I could not remember this ever happening before in this way.
Then one day it hit me. I realised that almost all her emotional states were mental constructs of what those emotions should look or feel like. She displayed exactly what she subconsciously ‘thought’ an emotion should be experienced as.  She did not do this consciously, but her thinking mind had done what it needed to do to protect her from the threat of actually feeling her emotions, especially anger, because this she associated with pain and weakness. She didn’t really experience feelings any deeper than the level of thought. If she did, she disconnected from them and managed them with her mind. After working with her on this subject a few times, it became very clear that she associated pain with experiencing any emotion — for her, they all eventually ended in anger, and therefore vulnerability. Her mind had separated her from them and replaced them with created mental constructs and simulations of real emotions. That way, she would not have to experience the real thing. She had a very strong rule that she should not experience anger, because anger caused her to lose her perceived control. Control was very important to her. She did experience emotions when she lost mental control of herself during truly heightened emotional interactions, so she avoided these in every way possible. Since she was not used to experiencing emotions in their real form, when any came through, they felt overwhelming and very painful for her. As a result, she became angry in order to suppress them. Her solution was always to hide from emotions rather than experience them. She eventually withdrew from the coaching, as she had been hoping to resolve her challenges in life without having to experience herself in the process. It could not happen that way, and she was not ready to experience that at the time. Working with her was a great gift for me that increased my awareness of how powerful the thinking mind can be — indeed, powerful enough to simulate any emotion in a real way that can be experienced as real by the individual.
The thinking mind can simulate virtually any emotion. Almost all simulated emotions are disempowering or negative in some way. I call these ‘thought emotions’ or ‘simulated emotional thought’.  I also refer to them as ‘de-motions’, because in almost all cases they tend to demote your well-being. They cause you to feel anywhere from not so good to absolutely awful. I do not believe we were ever meant to suffer emotionally. This is a side effect of the safety driven thinking mind taking control of our experience of life. The mind adopts different variations of simulated true emotions in order to try to keep you out of the experience of the moment in an attempt to avoid pain. 
I mentioned earlier that the feelings you experience are a direct result of the quality of your thoughts and the quality and direction of your reasoning. The closer your thoughts are to loving thoughts, the higher their vibration and the more chance you have of feeling good. The closer your thoughts are to fear-based or negative thoughts, the lower their vibration and the greater your chance of experiencing discomfort, or much worse. All these generated and disempowering emotions, or de-motions, are preventing us from just ‘being’ and experiencing the present moment to the fullest. Become aware of when you are experiencing emotions that don’t completely fit the situation you’re in. Emotions that are too strong or not congruent with the situation are evidence that this is happening. You’ll know what I mean when you experience this yourself. Question those emotions. Try to see what’s generating them. By that I mean what are you asking yourself or what are you focusing on? What would I need to be telling myself right now about what I believe to be happening and what I am perceiving for me to feel this way? It’s usually just the thinking mind deceiving you about something and creating a meaning that is not actually real in that moment. Actually nothing is real. Only your perception of it is real to you in any moment.
If you are going to generate emotions, focus your attention only on thoughts, memories or imaginations (if you must) that generate the emotions that cause you to feel good. There are hundreds if not thousands of generated emotions. Each one is attached to a perception of reality that is imagined by the mind. Although they feel real to you in that moment, they are not real, only generated. They are ‘thought emotions’ generated by your imagined perception of the moment. They are symptoms of your inability at that time to live fully in the present moment. I believe that scientists are now proving that for every emotion that we generate, there is a chemical created to match that emotion. Uplifting emotions create life-giving chemicals, and disempowering emotions (de-motions) create life-taking or degenerative chemicals. Raising the body to alertness through generated fear for extended periods of time will cause disruption in the body, which can therefore cause illness and disease. Victims, and people who continually experience disempowering emotions regularly have some form of illness, sickness, or physical disability. So you see, emotions, real or generated, are literally life-giving and life-taking energies. Mind-made emotions generate emotional pain, which can often create illness or disease. Separate out the word and the origin of its meaning becomes clearer, as most of you already know. Dis-ease is actually a state of being mainly created by thinking and not a condition. It is a physical manifestation of a thinking challenge. The physical manifestations of dis-ease can be avoided or cleared away in a lot of cases by finding the ‘thinking’ condition or internal thinking dis-ease that is causing them.
Emotions create chemicals in the body, which you can become addicted to in the same way that the body becomes addicted to heroin or nicotine. As a result, these emotional states can be triggered, or brought on, by your body’s need for these chemicals. We produce far more adrenaline than we need to nowadays and this can also become addictive. Ask many ex-servicemen who came back from war zones and then joined peacekeeping forces like the SWAT team, who face danger literally every day. Many are addicted to the rush of adrenaline they became addicted to during their service. All emotional states carry physiological responses or symptoms. These can act as warnings or indicators of the emotions that you are generating. Practise recognising the signs and symptoms, and learn to see the evidence displayed in how you are feeling, earlier each time. 
Dr Vincent Gianpap reports that stress generates the chemical ‘Cortisol’ in the body, and this also speeds up the aging process. When you go into stress, you speed up your aging, so stress shortens your life. It also reduces the production of Melatonin which can cause you sleeplessness. Sleep – Delta brainwaves – Slows down aging. HGH or Human Growth Hormone is generated during sleep, so lack of sleep also speeds up aging. Basically, it shows that turmoil and stress cause you to get older quicker. Awareness of your body’s messages will give you the information you need to change the direction of your approach and threfore thoughts so that these emotions can be avoided wherever possible. Use thought replacement to generate the emotions you want to experience rather than submitting to the emotions your subconscious thinking is generating. Below is a very short list of some generated emotions.
Fear - This is the worst simulated/generated emotion. Sadly, it is just your thinking mind’s way of trying to keep you safe, as it is meant to do. However, your thinking mind no longer knows the difference between a real threat and one that is merely imagined. The thinking mind is predisposed to imagine every angle of every situation that could cause you any kind of pain. If you indulge in ‘thinking fear’, you will experience more of it, period. If you are feeling fear where no physical threat exists, then the fear is based on an imagined event simulation. If you’re imagining a negative event, situation or interaction in the future, or you’re remembering a negative event from your perceived past, your fear is not real, simply created using imagination. More importantly, you don’t need to be experiencing it. You don’t ever really need to consciously go back into the past. Your mind has stored all the information from your perception of past events that it needs to evaluate with. The future is not here yet. Imagining negative or pessimistic future outcomes will just ruin the quality of your life in this moment, right now! What is the point of that? If all you have is how you feel right now, why destroy the quality of that gift with interference from what you perceived to have gone before, or not come yet? Mental fear is a very low-vibration thought process. Fear is used to keep the masses in line. When you live in fear, or through fear, you are easy to control. Fears slows and lowers your vibration, making you feel more helpless and trapped. People with low left-brain awareness are controllable.

Power for the few has been brought about by cultivating the thinking fears of the many.	

Guilt - This emotion arises from a combination of broken personal rules (your own or those you inherited or picked up), and the blame you direct at yourself for your perceived failings. Guilt is your voice of persecution telling you what you did wrong over and over, in detail. It is such a disempowering experience. Forgive yourself immediately. You were doing absolutely the best you could with the knowledge and experience you had at the time, no matter what it was. Guilt is not even a ‘real’ emotion, it is created, yet people will do some unbelievable things because of guilt. Guilt and many other generated or simulated emotions are really just self-abuse. Do whatever you do in the moment and accept that you were doing the best you could in that moment. If you find out later that you could have done something differently, then make a note for next time. Punishing yourself for something you cannot change is just personal torture and will not help you function better, or help you make better choices in the future, because it will cause you to feel worse and raise the chance that you will not make the decisions you would like to make, or that will help you feel good.
Regret - Not being able to let go of the past, and continually measuring your present against choices you made in the past – or evaluating yourself now based on past circumstances —is pointless. Forgive yourself immediately and move beyond it. Recognise what you learned from the past, or from any situation that you encountered, and use that knowledge optimistically in a present moment and in the future.
Anger - This is actually a healthy emotion when used at the right time. It can stop an attack, or help you or someone you are protecting survive an attack. However, when it is simulated or generated by the meaning you give to an event, situation or interaction, and there is no immediate threat to arouse anger as a survival mechanism, it is a destructive emotion. Anger is often triggered by the public identity or victim identity as a defence mechanism. In fact, the victim identity is never far from experiencing this generated emotion. Anger is most often generated by the thinking mind experiencing generated emotional pain, and wanting to escape what it blames for the situation. The thinking mind is designed to avoid pain, and it now believes emotional pain (which it creates mostly through its own imagination) is just as dangerous as physical pain. Most created or generated anger is basically internal dislike or self-hatred energised, and often projected externally. Someone breaking your rules often triggers anger. Find out what rules were broken and see if you can update them so that you can become calmer and less reactive.
Rage - Sometimes real anger that has been suppressed to the point of explosion gets blown out of proportion when it is finally expressed because it has been triggered by an external stimulus. Other times rage arises because the thinking mind indulges in a self-persecution story, increasing the intensity of the emotional experience until it becomes unbearable and is externalised by using blame. Some people can even generate rage at will if it has become important to them in their environment, or if they are a bully, or need to constantly protect their public identity. Victims who have decided not to be victims any longer can be consumed by rage for what they perceive as them letting themselves be victimised. Often, others suffer their rage one way or another. They often treat everyone as a possible or potential abuser trying to control or hurt them. Rage is almost always created because of a high level of self-dislike or self-hatred in some form.
Anxiety – While true fear (not generated fear) ends, anxiety does not. Anxiety is caused mainly by constantly imagining disempowering future events, situations and interactions. Bad fantasies cause anxiety and a bad self-image creates an expectation of bad outcomes. Worrying, having disempowering fantasies, and feeling anxiety will not make events come out in your favour. In fact, based on attraction theory, these emotions will usually bring the results you expect. We are the co-creators of the majority of our reality experience. This is very important to understand!
Jealousy - This is fear of loss projected onto someone else or comparing yourself to them. It arises when your public identity, using the measurement system of the ego, decides you are lacking in comparison to someone else in some area that is important to you. You must first perceive yourself to be lacking in some way in order to feel jealousy. This emotion also comes with the assumption that the other person is better or more valid than you in some way. Self-belief is usually an issue here. Certainly, a lack of self-acceptance will be involved on some level. The fact that you are experiencing jealousy means that you have feelings of insecurity about yourself and your perceived self-worth. To minimise your propensity to create this emotion, you need to work on building your self-worth, self-esteem, self-belief and self-acceptance. Jealousy is also a sign that your public identity is measuring you against another and finding yourself lacking somehow, or undeserving of the same.
Bitterness - Like resentment or holding a grudge or other false emotions generated by the public identity, bitterness is the thinking mind blaming someone else for its perceived shortcomings. “Look what you did to me.” It is based on your level of perceived self-worth and the size and strength of your victim identity. It depends on the false assumption others can make you feel things. Everything and everyone is just a stimulus, and the meaning you give to that stimulus is based on your internal process, which is based on your level of perceived self-worth. Bitterness is just a symptom of the internal process of self-abuse and lack of perceived self-worth, which is then externalised onto someone else.
Depression - Depression is a symptom of how you think about yourself and your life. If you focus on your perceived failings, shortages or disadvantages with enough intensity that you feel like there are no other options in your life, depression will ensue. Depression usually comes from a belief that there are no better choices for you to make to improve your life, or that you do not deserve anything better. That is certainly not true. You need to create a compelling future, and find a way to serve others. Service to others will help you fulfil your higher needs and give you a reason to live beyond your own needs. You also need to stop the internal self-abuse that encourages this depression. Depression, like other generated emotions, is based on a level of self-dislike or self-hatred. A strong victim identity will use depression to get you to a place of emotional safety using self-pity as the vehicle to meet all your required needs. You will also not consider yourself to have a compelling future, and this is required to have hope.

There are also supportive emotions 
Mark!

Blame, anger and associated emotions may allow you to feel significant and in control, even though blame represents low awareness of how you are perceiving in a way that gives you no control.

Mant people actually alternate between anger and desperation in some form most of the time.

Enthusiasm equals enjoyment plus excitement plus passion.

	Bxvbb

Fear vs. Faith
Everything you want is on the other side of what you fear! FEAR without present-moment physical threat translates as: ‘Fantasised Experience Assumed Real’, or ‘Fantasy Experienced As Real’. By fantasy or fantasised experience, I am referring to the fact that anything that comes from imagination is only fantasy, an illusion created by the thinking mind using imagination to cause something to feal real. Fear in a moment where there is no actual ‘physical’ threat is the thinking mind either indulging in a disempowering future fantasy about what might happen or reliving a perceived disempowering experience from your past. Neither is real, because the past is over, gone, and the future has not come along for you. It is Psychological fear, and it is not real even though we experience it as real. The obstacle that stops us moving forward is usually fear: fear of change, fear of failure, fear of criticism, fear of rejection, and many others, but mainly fear of your own self-criticism and self-abuse (which is actually what causes almost all your personal suffering). (See Fear under true and created emotions for more clarity on real and created fear.) Our main thinking-mind fears are really:
1.	Fear of never being more than we perceive ourselves to be.
2.	Fear of failure, and therefore not being enough, to others or ourselves.
3.	Fear of not being loved, and therefore being alone forever.
Fear that is generated by the thinking mind, when there is no physical threat to you, is an illusion created by disempowering imaginings. They are the result of an absence of faith and trust. Fear is not an entity in itself any more than darkness is an entity in itself; it is merely an absence of light. Fear is created because of doubt which is manifested through an absence of faith and trust. I’m not talking about faith in the religious sense, but faith as trust in the support of life through universal influence — i.e. belief that there will be a good outcome and that you will be supported in getting what you truly need. Belief is basically a sense of certainty about something, which is really just having no doubt about it, which is faith. It takes only a small amount of faith for there to be far less doubt and fear, just as it takes the smallest amount of light for there no longer to be darkness. Darkness is a just a very low vibration, and pure light is the highest vibration in this physical dimension. When two different vibrations come into contact, the highest vibration will convert the lower vibration every time. 
Fear is a low vibration like darkness, and faith is a faster, higher vibration. Stand in a huge hall in pitch darkness and light a match. Although there seemed to be a huge amount of darkness, this tiny amount of light stops it from being dark. If darkness were an entity in itself, then surely this could not happen with such a small amount of light? Darkness is merely an absence of light; fear is merely an absence of faith. Dark thoughts are merely an absence of enlightening, supportive and uplifting thoughts and reasoning. Faith is the subconscious abiding expectation that something is there to support you, or that something will to happen to support you, or even that you can support yourself. 
If you are being pessimistic, fear is manifesting in you. Panic attacks are based on fearful imagined perceptions of future events (from seconds to days in the future), with intense imagination being applied to build and structure the disempowering fantasies, until they feel absolutely real. Being in fear will not change the outcome of any event in your favour. In fact, fear will only weaken you and increase the likelihood that the outcome you fear will end up being the outcome you get (based on the laws of attraction). Your expectation of a disempowering feeling is telling universal influence, through your guides, what you want to feel, which will be more fear. Creation will actually give you what you emotionally ask for, because it wants you to have the experience of life that you choose, because that is how The One learns. It is ultimately up to you to decide if this is the level you wish to live at. It makes no difference to Universal Influence what level you are at, as long as you are having a unique journey. It is not there to judge what you should or shouldn’t be doing. That is thinking mind stuff.

Faith is a light that illuminates you with Hope, Happiness and Freedom.	

As you become more aware of your thoughts and reasoning, you will start to recognise the voice of fear, defensiveness, worry, judgement, blame, hate, or any disempowering thought approach, motivation, focus and reasoning. Then you can make a choice whether to indulge in that process or just witness its cause with no attachment, redirecting your mind immediately onto something else to let the negative thought pass without judgement or conflict. If you do not feel that you have faith, look around. There is plenty of evidence that you do have faith. Do you ever fly, or drive, or get on a bus, or any form of public transport, or even walk down the street? How could you possibly do these things if you didn’t have some level of faith or belief that you could safely get to where you were going? If you didn’t have faith in these areas, your thinking mind simply would not let you do these things, because it is designed to keep you safe. I find it interesting that a lot of people say they have no faith, yet they ‘have faith’ that bad or disempowering things will happen to them. They are clearly displaying faith. They may call it an expectation, because that is how they have experienced life up to that point. But what is an expectation other than believing and expecting that something will be there, or will happen. Isn’t that really just a form of faith? Your level of awareness will dictate where you spend most of your time: experiencing doubt and fear or having faith and trust in Universal Influence to support you. 
I have faith that the next moment will come and that something will happen in that moment. If I have no attachment to what that is, and keep showing universal influence that I want to feel good by feeling that way by conscious choice, I can expect my future to be made up of events and situations that cause me to feel the way I want to feel, because I expect to. I can also expect the result to be better than anything I could have personally organised or controlled into existence. Miracles are not violations of laws; they are the results of a higher law. People with a higher consciousness have access to these higher laws. They have faith, and therefore expect these so-called miracles to happen all the time. And for them, they do. It’s no accident. Awakened people just know the rules of these higher laws and align with them, and have an expectation that they will have an uplifting and supportive influence in their life. Do we need to understand how gravity works to know it is there, or to use it in our favour? There is nothing supernatural in such phenomena. Supernatural is simply a word used to describe something that is out of our normal daily concept of awareness.
What I am about to say may go completely against what your thinking mind will tell you about how to deal with fear. The solution to fear lies in surrender, and of course I am talking about thinking fear again here. Surrender to the fear. Experience it fully, without adding another to it by creating a story to justify the one that is creating the fear, and see if you actually get the bad outcome your imagination tells you that you will. By surrender, I do not mean feel fear all the time. I mean discharge the individual fears, like the fear of being wrong, of not being right, of making a mistake, of receiving the disapproval or judgement of others, the fear of not being enough, of being inadequate, the fear of rejection or not being loved etc. Find out what you are actually scared of by surrendering and experiencing the fear until it has passed. Let it exorcise itself and pass away. After all, it is more than possible that it is only an imagined illusion created by your thinking mind. Spend 10 minutes a day just sitting quietly and experiencing what is going on with you. Practise forgiveness for yourself and practise accepting yourself just as you are — not how you want to be, but as you are. Accept that you are as you should be right now, and value yourself for that.
You can also redirect the mind and focus your full thinking attention on something that causes you to feel good and supported, with no need for fear. Gratitude is your immediate way out of fear, as it is out of any disempowering emotion. In the section called ‘The Victim Identity’, I explained how to create gratitude cards. I suggest that you use the same strategy whenever you experience feelings of fear without any physical threat. Gratitude cards are very empowering tools for changing your focus. In using them, you can change your experience of reality in that moment, and ultimately your quality of life. Constantly experiencing gratitude will also create very different Karma. Faith is ultimately a by-product of self-acceptance and love, which allows you the knowing that everything exists for a reason. Everything is as it should be, and Universal Influence, The One, has always, and will always support you.

Psychological fear is always about or over the self in some form.

The most important things you need to do is what you believe to be the most uncomfortable thing, whatever it is.

If you stay with an experience of fear, as an observer of that fear, you will see that it has a story to tell you.

dscvsdcv

The Challenge With Some Traditional Therapies
I have been involved in traditional counselling in one form or another for the last twenty-two plus years. I had the feeling from fairly early on that there were inherent flaws in traditional counselling methods. I’m not saying counselling doesn’t help people — I believe having someone to speak to who does not get involved in the story can help, as long as the process allows you to see the true cause of the suffering, which I no longer believe is in revisiting the past. I’m not here to disrespect counsellors. However, I do feel that there are issues that need addressing that could make a drastic difference to the inherent challenges with traditional therapy. 

Traditional psychology believes that events are the cause of suffering. I believe they are the symptoms of the cause that just create more symptoms.

Much of psychology works from the assumption that emotions get trapped in the body and we need to re-live them so that they can be released. I believe this to be a misunderstanding about how perception actually works, and causes more harm than good if a person is indulging them through imagination and not simply letting those that may be there, disolve through truly experiencing them. 

I realised early on that allowing someone to relive events from the past, and emotionally suffer over the same or similar issues that they kept bringing from their past was somehow not helping them. I was taught to allow them to raise the subject of their pain and allow it to be released emotionally at their pace, assuming of course that they were actually letting go of trapped emotions, even though I somehow knew that they were creating the pain as they were talking through their perceived memories. I also realised that some people actually used their sessions to get really deeply involved with their suffering. I remember doing that myself when I was living through my victim identity and its personalities. I won’t go into all the techniques I used to help people, but I found I got much better results with people if I found ways to break their focus whilst they were in their patterns of suffering. Sometimes I even challenged them directly to find solutions, rather than allowing them to continue to wallow in the suffering they were creating as if they were working through it. I realised that the traditional approach and training just nurtured the victim hood and the suffering, and I decided I would not do that with anyone any longer. 
The only problem a person has is how they are looking at events, situations and interactions in life right now: their approach, focus, the type of questions, statements, comments and stories they repeat, the type of reasoning they are engendering, and the meaning they apply to it right now with that information and reasoning. Combined, these elements create the story of what they perceived was or is happening. When you go into the past to look at an event which is obviously now over, you apply meaning to that event in the now, not in the past. By changing the meaning that is being applied right now, you change how you perceive the past event. Also, by recognising that whatever others did in the past, they did it because of who they were then, not because of who you were, you can learn to forgive yourself, and them. You were all doing the best you could at the time, even if it didn’t seem good enough at the time, and you don’t need to go into the past to do any of this. 
When the client truly gets that a wrongdoing was not personal (because nothing is personal), the present perception can change, and it can only be changed in the present. The perpetrator or instigator was only acting out of their own discomfort, torment or suffering. When you truly understand that it was just an event that happened in the past, you can start to decide how you want to feel about it now. If you also recognise that your suffering comes from your approach to it, your focusing on this event, situation or interaction, and applying meaning to it right now, in the present moment, and this creates the suffering in you, then you can change the perceptions that help you arrive at meaning. If you didn’t focus on it at all, you would not suffer over it, simple. You need to understand that if you do not focus on it, or give it any of your attention, it does not exist for you in this moment. It does not exist in any moment, as long as you do not give it your focus or attention. That does not mean shut it out, it means focus on something else instead, using thought replacement. Choose to only give your attention to or create thoughts that cause you to feel good. Raising the vibration and quality of your thoughts and reasoning will wash away and change your perception of the past, as well as allowing the body to release any trapped energy, so you will be far less prone to be effected by it.
Unfortunately, endlessly repeating an event from the past that you believe was a reason to suffer causes another problem. You have stacked and stacked loads of moments of suffering onto that event, thereby adding even more meaning to it. In fact, that stacking effect causes more suffering now than the actual event did. You are now remembering your original perception and suffering over it, plus the stacked suffering you have created and accumulated since the actual perceived event. The last mental imprint of it was the last time you visited what you perceive as that memory. Furthermore, each time you relive the event, you add or adjust something from that memory as a result of your focus and state at the time of remembering. The memory has now become an illusion — it may no longer even be close to what actually happened. By the way, I am not dismissing or minimising your past, or the events you experienced in your past, if they are still how you define yourself. Just be aware that it is absolutely probable that you have applied meaning to those events based on your perception of self-worth each time you remembered them, that could be very different from what actually happened, depending on how many times they have been re-run, updated and stacked. 
Traditional therapy wants to take you back to an event that caused you pain in the belief that experiencing the pain will allow you to release it. How you experience that memory of the past is firstly a symptom of how you used to perceive in the past, which created the memory in the form it has, and how you approach and perceive things now, in the present. The fact that you’re still experiencing situations from the past is a symptom of your current inability to let go of the past and live in the present, and evidence that you need more self-acceptance. The present moment is the only place anything can be changed. If you don’t believe that your past memories can be changed in the present, or that you can perceive your past or yourself differently based on changing how you perceive now, try viewing the mind like a computer doing your financial accounts. When you change a calculation now that was done in the past, and recalculate your balance, the end result changes ‘now’. It cannot be changed in the past; it can only be changed in the present. It also changes how the program sees the history of your accounts. As your past changes when you change your perception of yourself now. 
When you change a perception of the past in the now, the present moment, your balance, or your perceived experience of the past, changes also. You only need to be here and now to do that; you do not need to be in the past. Trying to go back just creates the experience of more suffering now. If you cannot leave an event in the past, then you will carry the event or person around inside of you, where it or they will continue to control your life experience. Meanwhile, you will continue to devalue your perception of yourself, giving it, or them, continued influence over you. How can you escape the past, or a person from your past, when you give it, or them, a present home? You are giving them the power to continue affecting your life. Let go of your attachment to the past. Define yourself from this point on, and you can evict past events and people from your perception forever if you choose to.
When you change your perception of your present, your perception of the past changes, and you begin to wash away trapped energies from negative situations in the past. Change your perception of ‘now’ and you’ll free yourself from the triggers of the past, and the need to dwell there. Obviously to do this you need to stop telling the stories of your perceived painful past to yourself and others, as they actually contribute to and keep recreating your suffering. We vibrate at a certain frequency because of our level of awareness. Thoughts also vibrate at different frequencies. Empowering, uplifting, or pleasurable thoughts vibrate at a higher frequency than negative, destructive and disempowering thoughts. If you are vibrating at a lower level, you are tuned to the same frequency, the same television channel, so to speak, as negative thoughts and patterns. Therefore, you will experience negative and destructive thoughts and imagination most of the time.
If you consistently have disempowering thoughts, your vibration needs to be raised by consciously directing the quality of your thoughts and reasoning to more uplifting and supportive thinking. The thinking mind is just a computer, and it is focusing on thoughts that are vibrating at the level of your current vibrational awareness. You’re basically saying to your computer, “This is the vibration of thought I’m attuned to, so focus on more subjects, memories and thoughts like this.” As long as you are experiencing negative thoughts and interacting with them, you will continue to vibrate at that level. When you raise the level of your vibration through quality thought-replacement and higher quality reasoning, you will no longer think the same quality, or vibrational level, of thoughts as you did before. When your raise your vibration you also raise the quality and type of memories that you experience. By consciously choosing to raise your vibration from now on, by raising your thought quality, you will eventually free yourself from your negative past and your disempowering version of how those events, situations or interactions happened.
If you drive down the road constantly looking in the rear view mirror (your past) and blaming where you have been and what other drivers have done to you along the journey, you will be far more prone to creating more problems for yourself in your present. Do you agree? When your attention is no longer on the past, and you are no longer giving it nourishment, it will slowly die away. Do not allow your past to define who you are any longer. If you define yourself by your past, you will continue to be like your perceived self in the past. You will attract a similar future. Define yourself based on who you are now, and how you want to feel. Obviously, view your past from the perspective of what is right, good and praiseworthy about you, and not from a negative or disempowering perspective. If you feel bad about yourself now, it is because you are judging yourself based on your past perceptions of yourself. You can be free from your past by simply not going there, or by not focusing on it. If you must go there, focus on it with a much higher, compassionate, and caring thought process concerning yourself and others. If your body is withholding emotional energy, when you reach a high enough level of awareness, your higher consciousness will find a way to dissipate this energy. Your higher vibration will cleanse away this lower vibrational energy without you having to take part in this process. Focus on the present and let the past be what it says it is: that which has passed; that which is over; that which no longer actually exists!

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Non-Conscious Choice

Non-conscious choice basically means that you're sub-conscious thinking mind will make the choices for you, based on its normal conditioning, and whatever it needs to do to protect the perception of the self.

Become Conscious

The feeling in your body and your emotional state are evidence of how your mind is processing and what is driving and creating your perception in that moment. Become conscious of how your body feels, and also how you are experiencing emotionally. Without this awareness, you will simply be  governed by your non-conscious thinking. you're conditioned, programmed processing of any stimulus.

Only the choices that are available to you, either consciously or sub-consciously, are available to be made, and that does not mean you are able to make them in any moment. You cannot choose what choices are available to you. 

If you get to see your negative thinking you have succeeded, not let yourself down.

Something that will serve you is to realise that you think you know more about how you perceive yourself than you actually do.

Awareness of the other selves so then these selves can be observed, brings awareness of choices. 

Are you a problem finder of a challenge solver?

Intent + Awareness + Grace (luck) = Growth
Universal intervention is luck.
intent + external effort + expectation + universal influence = External success.

Becoming conscious is true freedom. External freedom is a concept. We are governed by so many things and we have no true control, so there is no real external freedom. You are in the prison created by the conditioning of your life, which is created by the psychological concept of the self you have. You can do what you want to try to be free. You can live in a golden cage, or a wooden cage, it is still cage. become aware of your conditioning by keeping a diary so you can see what kind of cage you are in, and the trap your conditioning keeps you in. The only true sense of freedom you can have is recognising that you have more choices than you think you do. Becoming Conscious and being able to have many more choices than you had before to experience an ever increasing quality of inner life is all the freedom you need.

When awakening happens you become fully conscious of what the mind is doing in any moment, however you can be fully conscious without being awakened. Consciousness is the right physical mind watching the left physical mind, it is not consciousness itself witnessing all the minds interacting.

Awakening - you suddenly become very aware of what the minds are up to in almost any moment, and can more easily make choices to override it.

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Know Your Emotional Outcome

If a personality has different beliefs it is a different personality.

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The Conscious Internal Voice Of Praise

Never indulge in saying anything disrespectful or bad to, or about yourself. 
How do you want to feel? Simply do the things, or only focus on the things or thoughts, in a way (with the approach) that will cause you to feel the way you want to feel. Yes, I am assuming here that you want to feel good. Consistent positive inner dialogue creates a happiness that is not dependent on circumstances or on other people. If you see an unhappy or angry person, have compassion for them. If you can, help them, with their concent of course. Having compassion for them may not appear to help them directly, but it will, and it will certainly help you feel good about yourself. Show your merciful heart to everyone who may need it. If you see someone who has qualities that you feel you lack, don’t envy them. Be pleased for them. As long as those qualities are uplifting and of a higher quality of thought and reasoning than yours, learn from them. Emulate those qualities and thank the person for the gift of showing them to you. You don’t actually have to thank them personally. Simply point that thankful energy in their direction in your mind. Universal influence will hear your gratitude and will feed you, and them, accordingly. Of course, do not show your gratitude for the sake of the reward — that will lessen its value and make it into a low-level bartering exercise that will just attract similar low level energy into your life.
Become your best friend. Support yourself against any disempowering internal dialogue by creating a voice that questions every derogatory statement your thinking mind makes about you or others. Question each uncomfortable thought and override it with uplifting and empowering thoughts about yourself. Cultivate a new inner dialogue. Cultivate a new voice of reason that looks for and upholds your worth and your value. Whenever your critical voice says something that does not cause you to feel good, question the validity of the statement with your ‘friendly’ voice — the voice that is on your side, that wants to inspire you and support you, your voice of uplifting supportive reason. Your internal friend.
Redefine yourself. Look for new references (evidence) about yourself that will allow you to raise the perception of your value — references that show the good in you, the kindness in you, the compassion in you. Catch yourself doing things that support you. If you happen to catch yourself doing something that is perceived to be wrong based on your old conditioning and judgements, forgive yourself immediately. Then focus on and practise an alternative behavior the next time the opportunity for that old behaviour appears. When that happens, as quickly as possible, focus on why you can feel good right now. You want to feel good, right? Indulge only the inner dialogue that is worth dialoguing with, that which helps you feel good. Cultivate the kind of thoughts and awareness that you want: friendliness towards others; compassion for others; gladness for others who have what you do not; indifference to those who indulge in low-awareness behaviour that you do not wish to indulge in, whilst also having compassion and forgiveness for them. Above all, have compassion and forgiveness for yourself. Praise yourself out loud so that you hear it. Do it, even if you don’t think you deserve it. Make sure your compliment is genuine, because it must be believable or the thinking mind will reject it. There are plenty of reasons to praise yourself if you look with the right focus (without being so-called egotistical) and with the expectation of finding them, even if your internal dialogue may tell you otherwise.

Descriptive praise.

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Conscious Choice

Only the choices that are available to you, either consciously or sub-consciously, are available to be make, and that does not mean you are able to make them in any moment. You cannot choose what choices are available to you. 

Conscious Awareness creates the opportunity for Conscious Choice.

Freedom externally is more choices, peace internally is making the choices that will support internal peace.

The mind tends to focus on circumstances so it can see what to avoid, and not the choices available.

Free will to me is the ability to make a conscious choice

Live with perceived problems or choose solutions.

As long as you give the external world the ability to make you make choices, you have little conscious choice.

Choose to be happy, peaceful, grateful, wealthy etc.

Successful people in any area are so because they make the uncomfortable choices in the moment to get the comfortable future outcomes.

Being conscious leads to awareness. This is an experiential end in itself.

To change the experience of your life you simply need to and become aware of and Consciously make different choices.

When you can become truly aware of something going on in you, a pattern or thought process etc, it can light a passion to make choices to let it go, as well as creating more consciousness in you of other processes that go on in you. Practice true listening, which is truly listening to what is going on in you and not others. You must listen to your own internal dialogue, questions, comments and become aware of a new feel in any moment. It is still a process of the mind, however it is a higher process and will bring about more consciousness. Without consciousness, new choices cannot be made.

Conscious choice implies the ability to make a choice that is not just a conditioned choice.

When you can consciously choose, the quality of the experience you choose to indulge in, dictates your evolution or lack of evolution to full consciousness. The higher the evolutionary needs of the mind you are willing to try to meet, the more choices that are available to you in any moment.

Each small choice that creates a shift in perception creates compound benefits.

Your present moment circumstances are simply the result of your thinking in a past present moment. If you want to change your future present moments you need to give your attention to thoughts that will create more uplifting approaches, and therefore generate different outcomes. Your present as a result of your past thinking. Your future is created by the choices, either non-conscious or Conscious, made in the present moment, and there is a usually based on your concept of the self and your past experiences.

If you're not creating something new, your maintaining something you already have in place. How is that serving you so far? Most people are maintaining what they have and hoping for a good outcome, rather than choosing something new, like a different approach. You committed to thriving or happy to just survive.

Perceived Sacrifices can be experienced as bitter, but the fruits can be sweet.	

The more internally honest you are, about your perception of 'Self', the more genuine choices you will be able to see that will move you towards uplifting growth.

When you recognise that you have choices and are unsure which choice to make, look to eliminate the choices that will bring the most disempowering outcome long-term.

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Free-Will – Freedom of Conscious Choice

Other ways to describe Free-will are Conscious choice and Discernment. It is important to understand that free-will (internal choice) is the only level of ‘control’ you will ever have, and it is really only about how you choose to perceive your reality. I believe that Creation and universal influence cannot interfere with our free-will. It was given to us to choose our own experience of life, and to make that journey unique to ourselves. Always make choices that allow you to feel genuinely good. I believe if you look back at any period in our existence, you’ll see that people’s free-will is absolutely unquestionable. I believe that if Creation, Universal Influence, or The One, whatever you like to call it, were able to decide how people think, then these higher forces would have interfered and changed things so many times already. They can give us information through inspiration (right pre-frontal lobe), and they can give use experiences, but they cannot make us think in any particular way. 

That is our free-will. Someone can lock me in a dark room tied to the floor, but they cannot make me think how they want me to. That is my free-will.

We have no true external free-will

What we experience as free-will is a high level of mind overriding a low-level mind, which is based on perception that is already in place, or inspiration, which is creation intervening through consciousness. We have choices, but they are usually already determined by existing conditioned perception. You cannot choose your choices. We can only choose between the choices available to us through our perception level in any moment. This is the only level of perceived free will, if it can be called that, in our lives until we become truly conscious.

I believe we were given free-will, internal freedom of choice, for a reason. If God is a jealous dictator, as some teachers of religion would have you believe, God quite simply would not have given us freedom of choice. A truly totalitarian deity would just make us do what it wanted. Since that is clearly not the case, I conclude that the themes of dictatorship and control in religion are man’s doing, not that of God, Universal Influence or Creation. You have internal freedom of choice over how you perceive at all times. You are guided to make choices and to make decisions, and you are free to listen to that guidance or not, or perceive in any way you choose, if you have enough awareness to actually perceive that in the first place. You are free to apply meaning to any event or situation as you choose. 
Someone might say, “What if I am tied up and gagged, and have my physical freedom taken away from me? Surely then I don’t have free-will, freedom of choice!” Ask Nelson Mandela if this is true. You have the free-will to decide how to view (perceive) yourself or your captivity, and whether you choose to react or respond to it with your own chosen approach or not. Someone might take away your physical freedom, but they cannot force you to think what they want you to think, unless I choose to go along with them for whatever reason. You still have freedom of choice to decide how to evaluate and perceive the situation. This is the same in any situation in your life. The meaning you apply — that is, the story you tell yourself about what you perceive to be happening — creates your experience of reality. Not the event or situation.
You can view virtually any event in a supportive, uplifting, inspiring way, or you can view it in a disempowering or disenfranchising way. The choice is yours. You may not believe you have a choice, but that is because you’re choosing to perceive (approach and focus) in a way that takes away your choice. Use your freedom of choice at all times to view events, situations and interactions in a way that cause you to feel uplifted, inspired or supported at the very least. If you don’t feel these emotional outcomes at any time, you’re choosing to approach and focus in a way that causes you to create discomfort or distress for yourself. The ultimate choices you make in your life are up to you. You cannot blame anyone else for the choices you have made, and nor should you blame or punish yourself for the choices you have made. No matter what was happening when those choices were made, they were made with the best knowledge and experience you had at the time. You were doing the best you could at that time. Blame keeps the problem alive and increases its intensity. Responsibility for the quality of your moment by moment experience of life looks for the solution. Always focus on the solution, not the perceived problem. Always look for what choices are available to you, and make the choices that bring you the highest quality of experiential life.
Always look to see what you can learn from past choices to help you use make choices that uplift and inspire you more now. Ask yourself how you could approach it and what you can choose to focus on or let go of, which will help you to feel good. In my view, we are clearly co-creators of our world, and finally scientific evidence through quantum physics is also proving this to be true. Experiments done by several different scientists on the smallest known particles of matter that can currently be studied, produced different results for each scientist. Specifically, what they discovered is that the particles appeared to always responded in the way the observer expected. This proves that at a quantum level, we have a direct effect on our reality. Reality works in the way we truly expect it to. Use this knowledge to your advantage.
You may not believe you have free-will, freedom of choice, because you usually feel driven to make choices to satisfy your needs. However, you still make the choice to satisfy those needs based on your learned programming. Those needs don’t make the choice for you. Even when you give in to them, it is because you have chosen to relinquish your ability to override them consciously or you don’t yet have the awareness to know you can. As a result, your subconscious thinking mind is choosing for you. If you aren’t choosing not to redirect your thinking, you are still making a choice. A choice to do nothing is still a choice.
The minute you have more awareness about the choices you are making or not making, and why, you are free to make different choices, if, and only if, you choose to. No one and no thing can stop you from making your own internal choices, not even universal influence itself. Free-will internally, how you choose to perceive, is your ultimate gift from The One, or God. Your guides are listening to what your choices are telling them to provide for you, so be very mindful of your choices. They help to create your future reality experiences.

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Your Actions

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	Internal actions are merely decisions.

	Your emotional state always has an effect on your actions and inactions.

You only get a true external reward from your own actions.

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Your results

Your thoughts create immediate emotional results.

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Feedback

We need the feedback of results to measure our success in any direction.

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Memory - Overview
The mind basically wants to only hold on to them basic amount of information it believes it needs to evaluate with. Memory is mostly created by the personalities you're in in any moment, and the amount of emotional intensity you experience over any stimulus. The mind discards most of what happened, and only keeps hold of the emotionally relevant information. That becomes the overview of any event, situation or interaction. Imagine you're driving somewhere and it takes an hour to get there. During the journey somebody fell in front of you and a short emotionally intense interaction ensued that took perhaps a minute. What do you think your overview memory of that hour would be, even if you are driving through beautiful countryside with many moments of pleasure available to you? The overall feeling of the journey may be one of discomfort and annoyance, because that was the most emotionally intense part of the journey, so that is what you remember the most. This becomes your memory overview of that time. 
This happens throughout our life. The personality creates the emotions and the basic memories, and the emotions create the overview. If you look at the overall feeling of your life, you will experience your memory overview of what your life is felt like. This is also dictated by the personality your are in when you're looking at your memory overview.if your personalities are consistently directed at looking at what is wrong in your life, or what you think is missing, or how you think you're not good enough or unacceptable, your memory overview of your whole life will be poor. If you step consistently looking for why you should be happy, the memory overview of your life will actually start feeling much better. Because everybody has had reasons to feel happy, even if they were looking at why they should feel miserable when those times were available.
You can use memories as a stimulus to suffer over if you so choose. Many people use memories is reason to suffer. " how can I feel good when this all that happened to me?" This is a typical kind of statement from a person who holds onto memories and uses them as a tool to create more suffering in the present. Either because they want to because it allows them to feel safe, or because they have no idea that they're doing it in the first place. That is why everybody needs to become conscious, so the conscious choice can be made not to indulge these kind of personalities and processes.
Your personalities also create your vibrational states, and your vibrational state dictates the quality of your memory overview at any time. Consciously change the personality you're in in any moment by changing your agenda, approach, focus, physiology and language. Choose a personality with all the traits required to allow you to feel uplifted and optimistic. This will help increase the quality of your memory overview.

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4 - Changing Your Experience Of Reality

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Why We Try To Change

We try to change because we have an illusion of self anything that we can force that self to change. We see ourselves as flawed or dysfunctional, even perhaps damaged or broken, and want to be accepted by others, and ultimately by ourselves. The mind physical believes the is a Self, and therefore through measurement an Ideal self and an inadequate self.
I have to make something clear at this point: we cannot change our underlying nature. We can, however, change our behaviour. This is a very important distinction to make. If you are trying to change your children in any way, you must be clear that it is their ‘behaviour’ that you wish to adjust, and not actually them. You must also make it clear to them, without any doubt, that it is their behaviour that requires adjustment and not them personally. Explain that you love them, and that it is their behaviour that concerns you, not who they truly are. Let them know they are perfect as they are and merely displaying certain possibly disempowering behaviours. They are not damaged in any way, but they may come to believe they are if they start to associate their disempowering behaviours with their perceived core identity (true identity).

Almost all internal dialogue is some form of conflict, measurement, judgement or criticism of self or others.

If you’re not happy to be you, you’re in trouble. The only thing you truly experience in your experience as you, either th true you or the conceptual you. Everything else is just a reflection presented by life to show you how you are perceiving.	

We will constantly try to change as long as we believe we need to be different from who we are, for example, in order to gain the approval or acceptance of ourselves and others. We may also wish to avoid disapproval from ourselves, or the rejection that we believe others have the power to inflict on us. Our desire to change really comes about because we find ourselves lacking, by subconsciously or consciously comparing to how we think we should with how we think we are. Unfortunately, your negative core identity was formed mainly as a result of people and society telling you that your behaviours were who you were, or are. By that, I mean being told that “you are” a naughty child, “you are” disruptive, “you are not” a nice child, and so on. All of these comments are related to behaviour and should have been approached and phrased as such. We should have been told that we are loved regardless, and that this ‘behaviour’ is perceived as naughty, or disruptive, or not endearing, or not supportive, and not implied on purpose or by accident that we were dysfunctional or damaged in some way. 
That way, the behaviour does not have to become associated with a child’s identity or concept of self, which will then become who and how they believe themselves to be. If we were told all through our lives that we are exactly as we should be in every moment, we would be happy-go-lucky beings with true self-acceptance from an early age, and would be far more likely to indulge in supportive and uplifting behaviour. We should have been accepted as the perfect beings we actually are in any moment, and have it pointed out that we were only displaying or indulging in disempowering behaviours, and have great expectations for ourselves and life. We should have been praised for all the positive, empowering and uplifting behaviours that we displayed as we were growing up as a way to encourage and inspire us to indulge in those type of behaviours more often. If this had happened, we would have absolutely no reason now to want to change. We would hold the true belief that we are exactly who we are meant to be right now, and doing exactly what we are meant to be doing right now. True growth comes from inspiration and not degradation.
Unfortunately, that is not how most of us were raised because of how those people were incorrectly taught to try to create change, and because of how they perceived themselves and their own value and processes. When parents are struggling with their own issues, discomforts, struggles and torments, they tend to externalise them onto those around them, often their children. They blame others for their moods, attitudes and feelings in those moments, rather than noticing that they are creating their own suffering through their own internal struggle over themselves, and not projecting it onto others using blame. They tell their kids off for every misdemeanour to try to ease their own internal criticiser — not because they are bad people, but because it gives a very slight or sometimes noticeable respite from the discomfort or struggle they are experiencing internally. Perhaps they really believe that “if you didn’t trigger my stuff, I would not feel like this now, so it’s your fault!” When a parent’s public identity includes perceiving their child as an extension of themselves, they tend to require change in the behaviour of the child as a means to alleviate their own fear of perceived disapproval or rejection from other. They will attempt to drive behaviours out of their children to try to make them into what they want them to be, based on their own internal public identity image of how they should be. Instead, it would be better to praise them for every small accomplishment in the required direction, so that the children are inclined to indulge in these rewarding behaviours more, and always aspire to feel good, learn high standards of expectation, and honour themselves for being exactly how they are — already perfect! 
Often it seems that the only personal feedback we ever get relates to what other people perceive as our failings or wrongdoings. Certainly we hear far more comments about what we are perceived to have done wrong than about what we have been perceived to have done right. This is not because people are bad or unkind, but simply because they have been taught that this approach is the only way to create change. Their experience of reality is determined by their motivation, approach and process of perception and evaluation. They don’t know that there’s a different way of creating change through inspiration. For instance, they could provide a balance of praise and guidance for certain behaviours, and advise mindful caution about others. Unfortunately, our parents were probably taught to point out what is wrong and to heap on pressure or pain to create change. This strategy only ever served to create a stronger public identity, lower self-belief and erode self-esteem. It never created true change, just an adaptation of approach that creates more potential for suffering long-term. We learn that it is easier to ‘pretend’ to change to avoid disapproval from others, and this strengthens the public identity further. Then we learn to criticise ourselves for not being able to change for real to align with the internal image we hold of how we need to be in order to be ‘acceptable’.  If you show me a time that abusing or punishing yourself, or trying to punish something out of yourself, has worked to create any change at all, I will show you that something else caused the change; it was not because the self-abuse worked. It does not work, so please stop using it as a tool right now. 

The greatest change in your life will not come about from trying to eradicate your perceived weaknesses or faults. It will come from focusing on, and honouring, your uplifting, inspiring gifts and abilities.	

Tony Robbins taught me a great strategy called the ‘Appreciative Eye’. It comes down to this: if you truly look at the percentage of yourself which actually causes you to feel discomfort, it is really only equal to about 10% (if you’re being honest about yourself and not indulging the victim). This part only seems much bigger because you’re always focusing on it with a disempowering approach. What you focus on expands, and what you do not focus on withers and shrinks. That 10% may feel like 50% if you constantly focus on it and give it your attention. However, if you only focus on the 90% that you perceive as good and valuable, it will also expand and appear to become more substantial, more like 95% or 97%, and the other part will shrink more by comparison. Remember, your focus (what you give your attention to) creates your experience of reality, so carefully and mindfully choose the reality that you want to experience. Do you want to experience uplifting perceptions or the ones you are disappointed with? Remember that you have been practising your thought process for most of your life. Although it does not take anywhere near the same amount of time to change how you perceive yourself, you still have some conditioning to overcome, so be patient and keep consciously practicing. 
If you can change the way you think about yourself, even for a few moments a couple of times a day (and increase it as often as you can be aware), do you think that might add up to at least 1/4 of 1% (a quarter of one percent) of change in a day? Well, if you do that each day, with compound growth, you could actually have changed your approaches and behaviours by 100% in a year! Decide how you want to be in a year’s time. You’re going to get to somewhere in a year’s time anyway, and you will arrive in one state or another  — so why not arrive at that point feeling much more uplifted and at peace on a regular basis? Do you think that state might improve the quality of your life, your situations and relationships based on the universal concept of attracting what you expect to get? You have practised and conditioned the thought forms you have used to generate the way you feel now, and your expectations and experience of life up to this present moment, so why not practise more uplifting thinking from now on? If you practise higher thought forms, they will become conditioned into you through practice and become the new director of your feelings. 
Thought replacement or thought redirection is like weight training — you train one muscle to the exclusion of another so it becomes bigger and stronger as a result of getting your attention, and the other withers through lack of attention. If you were to change your attention to another muscle and exclusively train that muscle, it would become bigger and stronger as a result, while the first muscle you used to give your attention to would wither, becoming smaller and weaker in comparison. Remember, where focus goes, experience of reality flows. Where focus no longer goes, experience of it no longer flows. That goes for everything. Particular habits, practices, or strategies that stop being exercised will wither. Choose wisely and mindfully which thoughts you choose to interact with or create, because you will experience them. Stop trying to catch yourself doing things wrong and start catching yourself doing things that support you in feeling good (based on you, not on what others may or may not think).
You can’t get rid of a habit by fighting it. Through awareness, however, you can choose another behaviour when the urge to run the old habit appears. Use thought replacement and direct the mind to bring out a different personality, which brings with it a different motivation, approach, focus and behaviours. Alternatively, indulge different behaviours to bring out different personalities. Don’t give the old behaviour your attention. Just choose another behaviour that supports you in felling genuinely good. With enough practice, you will override the habitual old behaviour with the new, uplifting behaviour and the old one will wither through lack of attention. This is training the thinking mind to work to support you rather than letting your subconscious thinking mind choose for you. 
There is a saying that you have two gardens inside you. You have the garden that represent the parts of you that you perceive as negative or disempowering, even damaged or broken, and the garden that represents everything you perceive as positive and uplifting about yourself. Which one do you water, or which one do you visit and give your attention to the most often?  Your perceived weeds will not stop growing until you stop feeding them, and giving them your attention. 

Change only comes through awakening to new choices, and then actually choosing them.	

If you suffer over yourself, it is because you are a good person struggling with the concept that you are inadequate or not valuable. Here are some ways to help you accept yourself as already complete, totally adequate, and of absolute value.
 	Focus on what causes you to feel good about yourself, no matter how small it may be.
 	Thank yourself for the qualities that you bring to your life. (If you don’t see any, you are simply focusing on the wrong details where your self-worth is concerned. The qualities you seek are absolutely there, and if you look the right way, you can absolutely find them. How could you have survived without them?)
 	See yourself as being already absolutely complete, and as you should be right now, perfect. Do this from a genuine perspective that only needs to be shared with yourself. You do not need approval from others.
 	Practice what you want to get good at and honour yourself for your ability to do that.
 	Listen to, take in, and graciously accept every compliment you get, and know you deserve them. Also give yourself genuine compliments at every opportunity, even if this feels uncomfortable at first. If this feels uncomfortable, there is a very high probability that you are not arrogant and probably will not become so, so don’t worry about that, and accept uplifting feedback.
 	Be kind to yourself all the time. Become the friend to yourself that you always wanted to have, or the friend you always wanted to be to someone else. If you are not your friend, then you will perceive that you have no friends, because you will probably believe that deep down you do not deserve them. If you can’t give true friendship to yourself, you can’t give true friendship to anyone else, nor can you receive true friendship. That situation exists because of your behaviour towards yourself, not because you are unworthy of being a good friend. Change your behaviour to that of a good friend to yourself and you will see a dramatic change in the quality of your relationship with yourself, and indeed all your relationships with others. You’ll then be moving towards self-acceptance, true peace and happiness.
Disempowering emotional states should be dealt with in the same self-supporting way. If you feel jealous, hurt, selfish, stubborn, or any other disempowering emotion, recognise it and be open about it. Hold it in your awareness, and forgive yourself immediately. Don’t try to punish yourself or try to ignore it. When you become openly aware of these feelings, you give yourself the opportunity to genuinely transcend them. Giving them your attention in a non-judgemental, non-critical way will allow you the opportunity to change through raised perception. By doing so, you also open yourself to Universal Influence. It is compelled to support you in your unique journey, so decide how you want that journey to be, and direct your thinking to allow this experience to become reality for you.

I spent most of my life trying to change, & when I finally surrendered that need & accepted my 'self', I realised that the 'Self' was an illusion, & 'I' actually never needed to change	

At a higher spiritual level, ‘who’ or ‘what’ you truly are, and who you perceive yourself to be through your thinking mind, are very different. As long as you can’t experience your higher self clearly, you will suffer from the human condition of thinking. The thinking mind will identify thinking as the only reality and you will certainly suffer. No matter how you perceive yourself, you do not deserve to suffer, and you never did! Do not allow the circumstances of your past life (history - yourstory) to dictate your future experiences. Use this book to adjust the perceptions of your life so it can be perceived as you want it to be.
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The thinking mind and societal conditioning tells us that punishment, ause or fear is the only way to change behaviour. Inspiration is actually the only way. Rather than telling a child or someone else what they do wrong, or berating them (or yourself) for what you think they don’t do right, and lowering self-esteem and confidence, praise them for what they do. This will inspire then to want to do these things more often. This will also raise their self-esteem, self-belief and confidence. Do you want them to be scared of making mistakes or confident that no matter what happens, these are just short experiences, and if they choose, they can succeed at feeling good? Ask yourself after every interaction with your child (and yourself) “what are they going to conclude about themselves because of the content of that interaction, and how could I adjust my approach to make sure it is positive, ballanced and uplifting.

Many people believe that they are not good enough but if they achieve enough, then they will be of value somehow. When will you be good enough?

Peace is experienced when you let go of measurement and judgement.

Your world can be extremely painful when your public identity image and your perception of yourself don't match, and this can feel like ultimate pain, especially when you feel helpless to change this. That is one of the reasons people are in so much pain.

Your best and someone else's best in any particular situation might be different, but it is still your best and should not be evaluated based on theirs.

There are people who act as they perceive themselves to be, or want to be, and feel like they are being completely real. They are being true to how they perceive themselves, however no matter how real they are being, they are also internally measuring themselves using the internal public identity image, and resenting themselves for it.

Self acceptance not self correction

There is a conceptual process created by the thinking mind to avoid pain over what it considers to be the unacceptable self. This is called the becomer, which uses the illusion of the ideal self to work out what to become.

xcvxcv

Measurement

adjust as this has been moved. remove ref to ego where required

The thinking mind is predisposed to always seek meaning through measurement and evaluation, so you are always predisposed to seek meaning.

Measurement -- the thinking mind is totally reliant on measurement to assess and evaluate, and money, so-called fame, and position had become our ultimate evaluate for measuring. All our illusions and will become more fragile as a means of measurement as time goes by.

My understanding of the ego leads me to believe that it is quite simply a measuring program. It has somehow become a way of describing what the public identity looks, feels and sounds like. I believe the ego actually started as a small program that functioned predominantly to help men measure themselves against other men, so they could work out how to be the Alpha male, and to be chosen by the best gene females. The males of the species had to show their dominance or superiority over other males in order to be chosen by the best females to best procreate the species (Yes, guys, women choose or accept men), and to best provide for them, and protect their cave and offspring. The ego is now used mainly by our public identity. Between the two, they have doomed mankind to suffer, until we stop functioning through public identity and measuring ourselves against others in the way we do. 
The need for power over others can be defined as weakness and fear projected out onto the external world. The thinking mind fools itself that this is the same as strength. Actually, it is just fear of inadequacy manifesting itself externally. The perception of failure is an illusion obtained by comparing your true perception of how you are, with your public identity image of how you think you should be. There is no such thing as failure. Everything you do produces a result. What you do with the result and the meaning you apply to it is up to you. Public identity uses ego to measure, and measures based on the assumption that you are the only thing of importance in the world (which is a constructed perception). It also assumes that we are all alone or separate — that it is ‘me against you’, and ‘me or you’. We are never alone or separate; we never have been and we cannot be. The best you can expect from the ego measuring in association with the public identity is suspicion, because it is suspicious of everything outside of its own self-important, self-obsessed little world. To the public identity, everyone is a possible threat. Ego has its place and it serves its purpose when it is needed. However, if you are using it all the time as a measuring tool, then it will measure all the time. Basically, the ego measures, and public identity finds fault, with you as well as with others. It has to. The ego, because it is just a measurement system, does not care if it is you or someone else it is measuring. It will measure you as thoroughly as anyone else. As long as you use your public-identity image as your yardstick (how you believe you should be), you will always find yourself to be lacking in one way or another. This internal public identity image is not who you really are; it is usually an unobtainable illusion. When you find yourself measuring yourself against anyone, or them against you, stop! Accepting yourself as you truly are, with no desire to be anything else and no desire to measure yourself against others to feel good, will help to set you free. The only reason you would feel a need to measure yourself against others is because internally there is some level of fear or insecurity; otherwise, you would have no need to measure yourself against anyone. You are you and that is that. They are them. Both are different, and yet also basically the same. Therefore, any form of comparison is essentially pointless.
In our early developmental period, we go through the ‘me’ and the ‘not me’ phase where we start to become aware that we are an individual, apparently separate human being. When you are young, you feel like you are part of everything, until the thinking mind has become fairly well developed, then it develops its sense of being a separate entity or identity. It then starts to notice that there is a me, and also what is not me, others etc.; the ‘me’ and the ‘not me’. This usually takes place at around two and a half to three years old. This is when the thinking mind starts the process of taking complete control of our perceptions. In my opinion, this actually should be only a phrase we go through, to become accustomed to our apparently separate physical form in this physical world. Then we are meant to become aware that we are connected to something much bigger. Unfortunately, we are taught that this lonely, separate condition is actually the way we should be, or that we can’t do anything about it, and we get stuck. The thinking mind supports this idea, and society helps to condition it in for pretty much the rest of our lives. 
The ‘me’ and the ‘not me’ stage is a symptom of the thinking mind using the ego to measure with. This allows the thinking mind to create the belief that we are separate and alone; it is not real. It’s true that we are separate physical beings with our own separate thinking minds, which is constructed through our life’s experiences and ongoing programming. To a point, we are having a separate experience, but at the same time we are not. We are individuals only in that our individual physical construction and experiences are different to anybody else’s, therefore we can be considered independent and different to anyone else. At the same time, we are connected to, and part of far more, all connected together in many ways, including via our collective consciousness

The thinking mind spends almost all of its time making comparisons.

The bigger the gap between how you truly perceive yourself and how you want to perceive yourself, the less self-respect and self belief, and the more judgement and criticism that will in ensue.

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Judgement

Good bad right and wrong are all judgements that require a comparison to something else. 

You are living under the illusion that if you judge yourself you can change yourself. It comes about because of the illusion that we must fundamentally change somehow be happy.

It is self judgement or fear of self judgement that causes most of your pain and suffering.

We innately know that creating pain over something can cause us to move away from it.

	Bxvbb

The Internal Voice of Criticism
The internal conversations you have with yourself, heard or unheard by you, are what cause virtually all of your internal discomfort, upset, torment, judgment, anger and ultimately your suffering. No one will ever judge you more harshly than your practised, conditioned internal voice of judgement and self-criticism. We have voices within us (or at least they sound that way) that speak for the thinking mind in its many forms. One of the strongest and most conditioned is the Critical Voice. The Persecutor. The Bully. Its dialogue probably started when someone, or several people, important in your life told you, directly or implied by either words or actions, that you were not good enough and had to or needed change. Maybe they told you exactly how you needed to change, or perhaps they were just continually critical, giving you no solutions to change their negative perceptions of you. The Critic is a voice or dialogue that is conditioned into us from many sources: parents, teachers, religious figures, friends, partners, society, etc. Although we usually hear this voice as our own voice, it is the cumulative dialogue of all those people who contributed criticism and judgement to our lives. It is the voice that speaks out what your internal public identity image has compiled over you life about what it perceives is wrong or not right with you, and what should be changed for you to be acceptable, or at the very least, not rejectable. Very few people cultivate a voice that is equally as strong that gives them praise and support, that questions anything the critical bullying voice says which causes them discomfort or suffering. 

True peace is not an absence of war. It’s an absence of internal conflict. When we have no more internal conflict, we will no longer need to have external conflict.	

Unfortunately, we are actually conditioned throughout life to look for what is wrong with us, or within us, and then to try to punish ad criticise it out of ourselves. You will not feel good about yourself by looking at why you should feel bad about yourself. With all due respect, school is actually the main place for learning this approach and where our internal public identity image gets its ideas bout how we should be to be acceptable to others. It is one of the places where our critical voice is created or made even stronger and given more critical dialogue. Now, I absolutely believe that schooling and discipline are needed in some forms. I’m not saying here that every approach in school is wrong. However, I do believe that a redesign of the education system is necessary. Schools do not teach you to have a balanced, loving perception of yourself, and do not, for the majority of people, cultivate high self-esteem and self-belief. School is actually one of the most dysfunctional places you can go to as a child for learning self-esteem, life strategies and an approach to yourself and your fears that will support and uplift you. It may be great for academic learning — how to do maths or learn geography — but as far as relating to yourself and others, it sets most people up to struggle, perhaps for the rest of their lives. According to studies carried out by Jack Cranford, an American self-esteem expert, the average child hears 432 negative statements a day, and at most 32 positive statements. Therefore, it is not surprising that a Gallop poll showed that 2 out of 3 Americans display low self-esteem, even though America has one of the most outwardly optimistic cultures in the world in which most people are trying to be happy. That statistic is really saying something about how we are conditioned subconsciously, certainly in our formative years. Lets face it, if you didn’t come from a dysfunctional household or home life, you went to a dysfunctional school or learning environment and learned to perceive in dysfunctional ways there. 
School actually teaches us never to be wrong, because if you are, you will be punished by the most critical peer group you will ever have in your life — other children, who have no idea how cruel they can sometimes be towards others, and what the consequences of their actions will be. School, in my experience, does not teach us to honour the unique qualities that everyone has, which we should celebrate every day. It teaches us to catch ourselves doing things wrongly, so we can stop ourselves. That is, unless you are one of the very small percentage of children that are physically or mentally better than everybody else in the class or the school, in which case you will be held up as an example to other children as what they should aspire to become. 
Perhaps 5% of students are congratulated; the rest are directly or indirectly criticised in the hope that they will aspire to be like the other 5%. That is, of course, if they can even believe in themselves enough after being put down so much previously. This strategy can never work! Unfortunately, it also sets up many of the 5% (at least those who are not physically dominant) to be punished somehow by the rest who felt inadequate as a result of their example. Why do you think smart kinds get bullied? 
You cannot use degradation to create inspiration. Sadly, for the majority who don’t believe they could ever become one of these ‘examples’, the system just shows them what attributes they need to develop in their ‘public identity image’ (how they need to be to be perceived well by others) in order to be accepted or acceptable, or to simply not get rejected or ridiculed. Somehow it is believed that showing students how they are less than someone else, or trying to degrade or embarrass them into wanting to be more like the other, will somehow teach them or inspire them to improve. The only way to get someone to ‘want’ to change is through inspiration. You cannot inspire them by showing them what is wrong with them. Nor can you succeed with this strategy on yourself.
When I was at school, embarrassment, ridicule, and humiliation were the most regular approaches adopted to get us to do better. Even if it was not the official policy of the school, many teachers still adopted this strategy. Often, this was because of the way they had been taught, and because they still believed overt discipline was the only way to get results. I suggest that some standards have changed a bit since then, partly because discipline is not as enforceable as it was (which may or may not be supportive of young people who still require boundaries during their development). Generally, however, attitudes are getting better and thankfully less draconian. I honestly have never seen any evidence that these old approaches really work. I have watched many people pretend to change to avoid discomfort, ridicule or humiliation, but I’ve never seen this strategy do any real good and create real change. Unfortunately, it just eroded any self-confidence or self-esteem a child had, if, of course, they had any to start with. Sadly, it is just one of the strategies we take away from school and continue trying to use to attempt to ‘improve’ ourselves. If we had been taught at a young age how to have self-reliance and self-esteem, we would start out with the opportunity to experience ourselves in a far better way. No, I’m not trying to put down schools here, because they serve a purpose. There is, however, a huge cost to most of the students from the approaches schooling in general, and certainly some teachers, adopt. 
If you show me a time when abusing or punishing yourself has worked to create any change at all, I will show you that it was something else that caused or helped you to experience a change. It was not because the self-abuse worked. Self-abuse does not work. So please, if you use this strategy on yourself or your kids, even in the mildest way, stop using it right now. In my humble opinion, the most important focus in school, and indeed at home, should be teaching children how to have self-esteem, self-belief and high self-worth, and encouraged to truly discover what their true potential is, no matter what their behaviours may be like. Their behaviours will naturally change when their perception of their value changes and along with that so will their standards and the vehicles they use to meet their needs. There is no benefit in whittling away self-esteem and self-belief by teaching them how to avoid ridicule and humiliation by functioning through public identity. Trying hard to avoid triggering the perceived disapproval of people around you is what triggers the internal bully, which is really what causes you suffering. You can find something good and praiseworthy in every person, including you. You have to understand that anything you or anybody else does is just a behaviour, approach or strategy to meet their needs, and these can change through self-acceptance. Raising the vibration of your thoughts and reasoning will engender higher-quality personalities which bring with them higher quality behaviours. There are no bad people in my opinion, only disempowering and unsupportive behaviours. People may have indulged in bad behaviour so often, and have done so for so long, that at some point they started to believe that they were or are a bad person. I genuinely do not believe that to be true. If you were truly a bad person, you would have no desire to be better; you certainly would have no internal conflict about your behaviour if you were truly bad. I know that is not the case, because you would not be reading this book if it were. People are tormented because they perceive themselves to be bad, even though they inherently or subconsciously know that they are not, and do not want to be perceived as bad people. If they were genuinely bad, surely they would not be in torment about their bad behaviour?

The true desire to respect and accept another’s differences, no matter how different they may be, will free us all to live in harmony. This ability comes only from having inner peace through our own true self-acceptance.	

People are generally worried about what other people think of them in case those opinions agree with what they’re thinking about themselves internally. If someone were to say “your blond hair is really getting thin” and you had dark, thick hair, the comment would have almost no effect on you — you would probably dismiss the comments as rubbish. If you did have thinning blonde hair, however, and were criticising yourself because your hair was thinning, this comment would hurt you or cause you inner turmoil. You would feel hurt not because someone made the comment, but because their judgement amplified your existing criticism or judgement of yourself. This fear is one of the reasons some people work so hard on their public identity. They hope people will not see how they measure themselves against their public identity image and judge themselves. They try to hide what they don’t like about themselves so that others will not have the opportunity to judge them in the same way, and they may pretend. 
When you judge yourself this way, you are inclined to judge others in the same way, even if you hate being judged over the same issues. You may even be using others to help judge yourself — projecting your judgement system onto them and assuming that particular criticism is also part of their judgement system. It probably is not; it’s only yours. If you were to practise not judging others, you would soon find that judgements about yourself would also start to reduce. When you judge others less, you judge yourself less. When you judge yourself less, you judge others less. Your suffering arises because of your inner conflict, not the external stimuli like events, situations, and interactions in your life that you blame.

Peace is a state of 'being'. When you are at peace with yourself, you are at peace with all others. All our external problems are just a reflection of our lack of internal peace caused by our inner thinking turmoil over the Self.	

The quality of your emotional life can be measured by the quality of your internal dialogue in any moment. Wishing ill on others will only have an effect on you, not on them. Resenting others will only cause distress to you, not them. When you judge another, you only affect yourself and it feeds your judgement system, which also judges you. Your judgement will not affect someone else unless they are already judging themselves in the same way, and you will not truly feel good if you hurt them, or cause them discomfort.  If you must judge someone, find a judgment that will raise their esteem in your eyes. Find a good judgment of the kind that if they knew of it, it would cause them to feel good. This in turn will also cause you to feel good, even if they don’t know about it. If they receive wealth, feel good for them. If they achieve their goals, rejoice for or with them. If they have something you don’t have, be pleased for them. Whatever it is that may cause you to feel negative emotions about them, dismiss it; it is only your internal dialogue and your judgement system. Find a way to view whatever it is in a way that will create a positive emotion, about it, or them, in you. Giving praise will cause you to feel good. Any other judgment will actually create discomfort in you. Many, if not all negative judgements are based on fear. If you indulge those judgements by interacting with them, you will experience fear in your life, guaranteed. Many people feel the need to punish others for how they perceive themselves to be, or for how they perceive they have been treated, and hope that doing so will somehow minimise their own internal suffering. These others are usually people they can measure as different, by colour of skin, nationality, ethnic or religious background, or people with a different belief about anything. This strategy does not work either.

Racism is just an excuse to punish someone who is different to you, because of how you feel about your Self and those you blame for bringing those feelings about.	

People often don’t get their hopes up because they are afraid of being disappointed or end up feeling like they have failed. There is an illusion propagated by society that if you abuse yourself enough over something you think you don't do well or do wrong, and you feel bad about enough about something you will make changes and start to feel good somehow. Self abuse causes pain, not happiness. We are taught not to make mistakes because usually some form of punishment follows. Most often from ourselves. Self abuse may bring pleasure to a self-inflicting victim, but it will not bring them happiness, nor safety. Remember, self abuse causes you to experience yourself as ugly, first inside, and then out.
The only emotional suffering you are truly scared of in your life is to feel worthless, and the self abuse that you bring  down on yourself, which causes you to feel worthless. This causes all the other emotional pain you experience, one way or another.
Imagine you are stuck in a room for the rest of your life, and that room is a lift. As the lift goes up, the atmosphere of the whole room feels better. When the lift goes down, the atmosphere of the whole room feels worse. Now imagine you are stuck Stuck in that lift with another person. You're stuck in there with them potentially for the rest of your life. What kind of relationship would you want to have with that person, bearing in mind you will be with them continuously. No escape. Imagine what kind of relationship you would have if you constantly criticised them, put them down, called them names, be disappointed with them. Surely that lift would be continuously as low as it could go. Now imagine that you look for everything you could like about them, forgive them immediately for anything you perceive them to not do well. Look for reasons why you enjoy being with them, etc. Do you think the quality of your relationship would be much better, and that the general feeling of you would consistently be getting better? I would certainly suggest it would. Well, you are already stuck in that room. That room is your head, and there is no escape from the version of self that you are often or constantly disappointed with, attacking or abusing. Isn't it time you decided to create a better relationship inside of you, so that the feeling of being you is much better? I think it is time. Peace is on the other side of self acceptance, not self abuse.

hdghdgh

The Impossibility Of Change
We cannot force ourselves to change. Effort only works externally. Used internally it can only cause us suffering as it uses measurement, judgement and self-criticism, and this does not create internal change, only conflict and suffering. Any desire we have to change is because we do not feel acceptable to ourselves or others as we currently perceive ourselves. This sense of being somehow unacceptable, or worse, is the cause of our suffering, and everything else we are trying to deal with is simply a symptom of this. This will become much clearer to you as you go through the book. Much of what I learned from that awakening experience, and the changes, awareness and knowing that have come to me since, are contained in this book. I have written them down to perhaps help others make some of the same shifts without having to take the long detours I have taken in my journey. If you want to improve the quality of how you feel in any moment, and have more peace and balance, everything you need is within these pages.

By doing this we are exposing the mind to itself, and because it is a pain avoidance mechanism and doesn't realise it is creating its own suffering, this can give it insights into itself that will allow and trigger it into changing its own approach, and therefore behaviours. 

The subconscious mind can not be changed, it can only update its own approach by adopting a new strategy or process. Any strategy or process that has been accepted as valid in the past will always remain as valid. If the mind adopts another strategy is more valid, that is the one it will use instead. This really means to one strategy simply supersedes another, we do not reprogram the mind. We can reprogram memories, but we cannot change the mind. It can only change itself through being exposed to itself. This can be done either by external stimulus, or buy the right brain mirroring back the thinking of the left brain thinking mind through self inquiry.

Understand this, Anything accepted by your subconscious mind is accepted as absolutely true, real and or valid. once it has been accepted as such, that can never be changed. You cannot change your subconscious mind. The subconscious mind can however recognise that a strategy, approach or belief that it holds, may no longer be the most valid that it can have. If it discovers or recognises a better strategy, approach or belief etc for any event, situation or interaction, it will choose that one as the most valid. Anything ever accepted by your subconscious mind, will always be available to you to access. You cannot change, you can only help the subconscious mind update its strategies, approaches and beliefs by exposing it to itself. Only the external world and the higher mind can reflect back the subconscious mind processes so it can see them. The thinking mind cannot show the thinking mind how its thinking in an unsupportive way. That is one reason we need external teachers, at least until our right brain connections become strong enough to be able to hold a mirror up to the left brain so it can see itself. This is called genuine self inquiry. This is not just about checking that your beliefs are still valid, but honestly and openly inquiring to see why they are no longer correct or valid.

People normally only change their perception through inspiration or desperation.

The root cause of all your discomfort, conflict and suffering is your perception of yourself. Your self-concept. It is not that you need to change. From the time that I tried to commit suicide (and even before) until now, I thought I had changed a great deal. Now I realise that as a person, as the entity that I am, I have not actually changed at all. I have always been the entity that I am now. However my concept of my self has change drastically, my core identity, therefore how I consciously treat myself, and consciously behave towards myself, has changed drastically. Because of this, how I interact in the external world has changed drastically. So I appear to have changed when actually only my approach to myself has changed. I have not changed, but how I treat myself has. I am always kind and supportive of myself and I have no judgement of myself at all. That is the difference between the quality of life I used to create for myself, and the quality of life I now create for myself.

Self-acceptance is the only true and real solution, not change.

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Directing & Training The Mind

Redirecting or directing the mind is about Conscious Choice & reconditioning. Gandhi said, “Those that know how to think need no teachers.” It is important to consider that he is actually referring to those who have the ability to direct their thinking in a constructive way, which allows them to grow and prosper emotionally, by accessing good-quality thought and reasoning. However, we all need teachers to reflect back to us how we are perceiving ourselves, and our biggest teachers are those who trigger us the most, and usually come from directions you never imagined. In my opinion, Wisdom is knowing how to view things by redirecting your thinking and reasoning to a higher, caring, supportive and compassionate level. Not just the ability to think because of experience, which we all already have. The ability to process reality in the way it does, and think in the way it has evolved to, has almost destroyed this world. It has certainly destroyed the quality of internal life for most people in this world. The situation actually looks like it will get worse before it gets better. Thinking is not enough. It has to be directed thinking, or it will lead to undirected discomfort and suffering. 
The gap between how you want to perceive yourself (public identity image) and how you do perceive yourself to be (core-identity) is what really causes your internal conflict and suffering, and therefore your perceived external conflict and suffering. The size of that gap dictates how much you suffer. Reality for each of us is not based in actuality; it is based in our individual perception of reality. When you realise that what you see in your head is like watching a movie, and you ‘genuinely’ realise that you are actually the projectionist, you are then able to change the movie virtually any time you want. One of the keys to happiness in this physical form is developing a happy mind by focusing only on happiness-inducing thoughts. Your quality of thinking, your approach and focus in any moment is one of the main factor in your happiness or unhappiness. To be truly happy and at peace we must also practise compassion for ourselves and others. 
The first step to feeling good always comes from thinking in a way that allows you to feel good. This section is designed to help you understand how to raise the quality of your thoughts to a higher vibration and choose different behaviours to create what can be perceived as change. Everything is difficult until it is easy. Learning to direct and train the mind is like learning to play an instrument. It takes practice, but eventually you can become good at it. Aren’t you good at how you think now? No matter what you need to do, or want to do, there is always a starting point. So start consciously directing your mind straightaway. Directing your thoughts is really just deciding what you would rather think about, or how you would rather think about what has your attention. It is also about directing and training your mind to choose only uplifting and personally inspiring thoughts when you can. When you can do this effectively through practice, behaviours that bother you now will no longer be an issue. You will be able to override them and ‘swap’ them for more uplifting and supportive behaviours as soon as you become aware of the disempowering ones that you are using to meet your needs.
It is also about challenging negative beliefs about yourself with an empowered or uplifted voice of higher reasoning. The old disempowering beliefs you have about yourself are like clouds. When you look at them, you think they are so solid you could go up and sit on them. However, when you go up to them to test their strength, you find that what you believed about their substance was just an illusion, and they dissipate in front of you. Of course, you had to test them to find this out. Developing a voice within you that will support you and challenge any negativity you hear yourself saying about yourself, internally or externally, is very important. You have the voice of persecution within you; now develop the voice of your best friend and make it stronger through practice. Nurture the friendly voice of reason within you — the voice that you use when you are showing a friend, in a caring, supportive way, how a perception that they have is not supportive, untrue or different than how they perceive it. You already have this voice and ability within you. You probably rarely use it to make yourself feel better, or perhaps you may only believe others deserve to feel good.
I know I have said this several times in different ways, but I am going to reiterate it because this is the key to the teachings in this book, and the key to your experience of yourself and life. You can only be totally focused on one thing at a time if you give it your full attention, and therefore you will only experience the emotional reality experience of that one thing. Your emotional experience of anything comes from giving your attention to it. Decide how you want to feel and then think and make decisions in the direction required to achieve that emotional experience. Use ‘thought replacement’ or ‘thought redirection’ to move from the thinking that causes what you are experiencing, to the thinking that causes that which you want to experience/feel. Envelop yourself into it by giving your full attention to the experience of it in your mind, and use your imagination, if you must (from a totally positive perspective and expectation). Then as soon as you feel good, focus back into the moment with your eyes and your senses (because you want to come into the experience of the moment as soon and as much as possible), bringing those good feelings back with you, and then you will attract more things that are in harmony with how you feel. 
If you’re not consciously directing your thinking mind, it will subconsciously arrive at the most logical pain avoidance biased conclusions to your questions, statements and reasoning, and it will be based on the same information that it has accumulated and used up until now. Which means it looks at everything with the approaches and focuses of finding any pain possible in the experience so it can try to avoid it. So unless you are directing your mind to focus in a way that allows you to feel good, it is always predisposed to cause you to feel some level of discomfort. If you’re not consciously managing your thinking mind, your subconscious conditioned thinking mind will be managing you, and choosing what you think about and that will create your emotional experience of your reality in that moment. In that case, you’re just a victim of your conditioned pain avoidance biased thought process. 
You think many thousands of thoughts a day and the thinking mind is predisposed to be pessimistic. So are you directing yourself away from those thoughts, or are you just passively allowing them to direct you? Your undirected or misdirected thinking causes much, if not all of your suffering. Imagine being in a river and being taken along with the current. Although you are being swept along, you have a pair of oars called awareness and freedom of choice. You can choose to be swept helplessly along, or you can choose to direct your experience of that journey in any way that you can enjoy whilst still avoiding pain. Of course, that is as long as you choose not to be just helplessly swept along (in your life), because that is also a choice. Directing the mind is about making a decision to use your awareness and free-will to consciously direct your experience towards higher-level emotional outcomes, like peace and happiness. Your thinking process, believe it or not, can allow you to walk on red-hot coals during a fire walk without getting burnt, or be totally wounded by what you imagine someone may be thinking about you. Your conscious thinking has to change before your world will change. For your experience of your world to change, your thinking needs to consciously evolve in a way that is personally supportive (at the very least), uplifting, optimistic and inspiring. 
Most people perceive change to be eradicating something from their behaviour or about themselves that they want to get rid of. For one thing, the process does not work like that. Change is really about consciously overriding a particular thought process with a higher-level thought process. You redirect your conscious mind to choose a different type and quality of thought, which engenders a different approach, focus and therefore different behavioural patterns. When you do this on a regular basis (more times than you run the old process), you eventually create a different experience of reality. Even if we don’t realise it, we are directing and training the mind subconsciously virtually all of the time, usually in a disempowering way. We are regularly not choosing consciously how we want to experience and feel. As an example, not voting in an election is actually voting for whomever others vote for. Why not train the thinking mind to help raise your vibration, rather than letting it keep you where you are, no matter how good you think you feel now? I want to make it completely clear that this process needs to be done as part of your journey towards self-acceptance. It cannot be used instead of self-acceptance. However self-acceptance will not happen without it. 
The difference between how you want to perceive yourself and how you do perceive yourself is the size of your self-acceptance challenge. Unfortunately, if you’re using any of the strategies I teach to try to implement changes that are in line with how you think you should be (public identity self-image), you are just feeding the very process and programming that is causing discomfort in the first place. Without self-acceptance, you will merely focus on what you want to change all the time. You will therefore only experience what you are uncomfortable with, that which you are trying to escape. As a result, you will not feel good about yourself, which is already part of the problem. How can you feel good about yourself if you consistently focus on what you perceive to be wrong with you? Directing and training the mind is not about eradicating behaviours, traits and patterns so that you can like yourself. Although it does bring a higher level of self-acceptance, it is a process designed to help raise you to higher levels of awareness through feeling better about yourself and life, without having to change who you really are. 
That statement may freak some people out, especially victims, but that allows true peace and happiness to be experienced.  Self-acceptance is the only true path to being at peace with yourself and with others. Making peace with yourself does not mean escaping traits and behaviours you dislike. When you have true self-acceptance, these do not need to change because they are accepted. The self-punishment ends. What you think needs to change is just the public identity using the measurement system of the ego to find you lacking in some way based on the perceived divide between how you perceive yourself and how you think you should be. Public identity is always suggesting alterations that it thinks would make you acceptable to others in the hope that you may avoid disapproval, or gain approval or acceptance. However, the disapproval really comes from yourself, about yourself, and is projected onto others because they are the stimulus that can be blamed. Until you let go of the image of how you think you should be and embrace self-acceptance, you will always feel vulnerable to the judgements of others. Yes, it absolutely can be done, no matter what you think of yourself now. I am living proof of that, and I am no more special than anyone else — in fact we are the same! The only way to create a shift in behaviour in anyone, including yourself, is through inspiration. Inspire yourself to think uplifting supportive thoughts and raise your level of expectation of feeling good, as I have explained. Understand that right now you are already feeling the way you ‘expect’ to feel. Raise the standards of how you want to feel and how you expect to feel and see the difference manifest in your life. 
Athletes are a perfect example of the importance of training the mind to create an empowering reality. Ask a top-level athlete, who really enjoys their sport, how they think about an event before, during, and after, regardless of whether they have been successful at that event. Almost every one of the thoughts that they go through, after the initial disappointment and evaluation, will involve an expectation of a good outcome from what they learned. Or an optimistic, supportive perspective of a situation that did not go the way they would have preferred, and what they can learn from it. If there are challenges along the way, they have developed an empowering way to think about them. To reach this level of thought and reasoning they had to condition their mind through conscious direction and practice, as much, if not more so, than their body. For most, their directed supportive thinking is usually totally different from the way they were taught and conditioned as children and teenagers. Unless they were brought up with an athlete or someone with a high-level thought process, and a great, supportive, optimistic outlook on life, because the thinking mind is not subconsciously predisposed to function like that. They will have used these thought processes so many times that they will have restructured many of their views about themselves personally, and the situations associated with their sporting life. The rest of the time, they are quick to recognise when they are not thinking supportively or optimistically, and immediately redirect their mind to do so. 
This attitude often carries across into the rest of their life experiences. They may not recognise that they can use many of these same thought processes in any part of their life, because the personalities they use are associated to their sport, they just need to create personalities for everyday life situations where these approaches, focuses and motivations apply. I know many people say, “It’s easy for them because they are top-level athletes,” but the truth is that they are top-level athletes because they have learned to direct and changed the thought processes. They regularly think in a way that allows them to feel uplifted and capable, with the expectation that a solution or level of motivation is always available to them if they look. Even the most gifted athletes in the world will not succeed unless they have learned to, and practised, redirecting their thought process to be uplifting, optimistic, supportive and empowering. I believe many athletes at the highest levels will agree with me that at least 80% of their success comes from the way they think, not from how their body works. This level of thought must be practised consistently, because the way an athlete thinks also helps them to train their body to a higher level. Their level of ability has not just suddenly appeared. It takes more than one performance to win a race or a gold medal. It takes thousands of practice performances to be able to consistently achieve an elite level of performance. It can’t be understated just how important an uplifting, optimistic and inspiring thought process is for anyone, anywhere, in any situation. 
More often than not, top-level athletes who make constant instinctive decisions are totally present in the moment, at least when they are engaged in the second-by-second process of their sport. Being totally present in the moment allows some athletes a split-second sense of what is about to occur before it actually happens. This pre-emptive ability is available to all of us, but so few are present in the moment, that most can only experience it by accident. When you can be present in the moment regularly, this ability to receive premonitions can extend to minutes, hours, and days before an event. However, beware that the thinking mind, through public identity, can fool you into believing this is happening, when it is just your imagination fulfilling your need to experience this. Your thoughts have a vibration, and that vibration affects the structure of your body. There have been studies carried out in Japan by Dr. Masaru Emoto who exposed crystallised water to music, spoken words, typed words, pictures and videos. The water crystals changed shape and structure depending on the particular directed intent in the communication forms the water was exposed to. For example, one container of water crystals had the word Love taped to it, and one had the word Hate attached. Low vibrational intent like Hate caused the crystals to take ugly, inconsistent shapes, whilst loving and compassionate intent caused the crystals to become beautiful structures (see recommended resources for website pictures). The structure of the water that created the crystals must also be significantly changed by the intent applied to the energy around the water. Your body is over 70% water. If 70% of your body is capable of restructuring based on the intent of your thoughts and words to strong or weak forms, how much do you think that would affect you physically in any moment? 
If you want to see how this works and the effect your thoughts have on your physical form and energy levels, here’s an exercise. Get a friend to stand just off to the side of you and not directly in front of you. Hold your strongest arm out to the side at right angles from your body and then think of something that causes you to feel good. Ask your friend to press down on your wrist to test the resistance whilst you resist having your arm pushed down. This is not a macho exercise to prove that you can resist your friend at all costs or that your friend can get your arm down no matter what. The point is to show the difference in the energy in your body when you think different kinds of thoughts. When that has been done, stay in the same position and think about something that causes you to feel disempowered, angry, upset, annoyed, resentful, bitter, vengeful or judgemental — things that would generally put you in a bad mood. After a moment, once you’re experiencing the emotional outcome of these thoughts, get your friend to push down on your arm in the same way, resisting the same way, and feel the difference in your ability to hold your arm up. You will be amazed by the result if you have done it honestly. Immediately after the exercise, redirect your mind to the thoughts that caused you to feel good and shift your body to another spot whilst getting totally involved in the good feeling again. This way you will feel good again, and the exercise can be used as practice to get good at changing states whenever you want to.
Empowering, supportive, optimistic, uplifting thoughts give you energy, and disempowering, negative thoughts drain away energy. It is good to know the effects of how you think if you suffer from any illness. Do you want to give your body more energy to help it heal, or do you want to continue the drain on energy and possibly allow your illness to get worse, or have one manifest? Maintain an awareness of the thought processes that do not serve you, such as disappointment about yourself, dislike, disgust, disapproval, inadequacy, doubt, self-recrimination and any level of disappointment or dislike towards yourself or others, including how you perceive yourself to be perceived by others. 
These kinds of thoughts are low-level, low-vibration energy drains. They will only cause you to feel bad, meaning they will lower your vibration and perhaps cause or allow illness to set in, or get worse. The key to higher awareness is continually making a choice about the kinds of thoughts that you want to experience. You are at present having the kind of thoughts that you have practised for many years, if not decades. You have become great at thinking and reasoning the way you do. Therefore, you can become great at thinking and reasoning another way. It just takes practice, and of course awareness of the thoughts you have that create your reasoning and that underlie your experience of reality. Also, don’t forget that you need to make a commitment to yourself on your behalf to think in a way that supports you, and to make the decisions and take the actions that will allow you to feel good. That means no longer trying to conform to the internal public-identity image of how you think you should be, and refraining from being a victim if you have indulged in being one. Commitment has to be real, because every new moment brings an opportunity for your commitment to be tested. You need to make your commitment anew in every moment, because each moment is new. As with a diet, you don’t just make the decision once. You need to make the decision every time you are hungry and go to eat.
Practise brings mastery, so be very, very careful what you practise!

There are two kinds of ignorance. Inexperience and therefore not knowing, and choosing to ignore that which you do know.	

Practise high-level supportive and uplifting thoughts. They will eventually cleanse away and override the low-level disempowering thoughts and memories. They will give you a consistently better experience of reality, and therefore of life. People often ask me about integrity. Being totally honest with yourself about how you think, creates integrity, and this integrity will spill over into the external world. Displaying external integrity will also support internal integrity, and allow you to feel even better about yourself. It will drastically change the quality of your life and eradicate your need for a dysfunctional or overblown public identity. Make personal internal integrity one of your highest values. 	
Can you train yourself to believe something? Of course. How do you think you ended up with most of your beliefs and expectations? Probably without knowing it, you simply allowed your mind to direct itself in a search for evidence about any ideas you had when you were younger. You allowed beliefs to be formed instead of choosing the beliefs you wanted to have, and then consciously searching for evidence to support them. Start creating a list of the things that cause you to feel good when you think of them. Any time you feel bad, angry, depressed, annoyed, uncomfortable, disappointed or hundreds of other disempowering de-motions, ask yourself, “Do I want to feel like this?” If the answer is no, how else could you look at whatever is causing you discomfort so you can perceive it in a way that supports you feeling good. Alternatively, go to one of the things on your feel-good list and give your full attention to it. Let it become your emotional experience of reality in that moment instead. Practise doing this as often as possible, anytime you start to experience discomfort. 
There are two techniques you really need to be able to have a great quality of life.
First - Recognise the discomforts, dis-ease, struggle, torment, suffering, and limitations of the thinking that controls you, and then directing your thinking mind to think in a way that moves your attention away from the thought process that causes these experiences. Simple practices such as awareness and the ones listed in this book can help you in conditioning yourself to think only one thought at a time, which is how we should experience thought. Then you can consciously choose to indulge in only the thoughts that cause you to feel good in the moment. 
Second - Step away from the thinking mind by becoming totally present in the experience of the moment. Become more aware of the difference in your emotional state and your new perception of reality that this brings. There are several ways to do this, which I will share with you later, including some unusual meditations, and also ‘The Oneness Experience’.
In addition, I have a process that I have developed for myself that I encourage you to use regularly. I go through this almost immediately in any situation that triggers me or causes me to feel any level of discomfort. I am obviously talking here about situations that contain no physical threat, although this process can also be used in dangerous situations to allow you to evaluate your options from a more balanced place. As soon as I become aware that something is happening internally that does not cause me to feel good, I engage this four-step process: Awareness – Forgiveness – Surrender – Acceptance. Because I want to feel good! I want to feel good all the time, no matter what is happening or what has happened. 

Under the umbrella of Personal Kindness
Awareness
Forgiveness
Surrender
Acceptance
Conscious Choice - Redirection

 	Awareness means paying attention to how I feel all the time and to what I am thinking whenever possible. Awareness is the most important part of changing your approach to yourself and life. You cannot make choices about anything you do not have awareness of. It specifically means having an expanded awareness of what is actually happening within me, not what I think someone else is doing to me (this is just a perception and a projection, and is not real). Awareness gives me the ability to make choices about how I feel. When I recognise that I am not feeling as good as I could, I ask myself, “What else could what I am perceiving right now mean, if I wanted it to? How else can I look at this to free me from any discomfort or suffering?” I am looking for an alternative way to view others at this time — “How else could I view this event, situation or interaction?” When I find an optimistic, supporting and uplifting alternative, I redirect my mind to focus on it fully and take advantage of the opportunity to feel good. If I can’t do that for any reason, I change my focus completely to something else, perhaps something on my feel-good list. I give that my full attention, because I want to feel good! As you become better at redirecting your thinking, your awareness of your choices will increase and more choices will become available to you. Awareness is the key to everything. Once you have awareness of something, you can make a decision about how you want to handle it. For instance, when you’re aware of the process that runs when you get triggered, you have the opportunity to arrest it. Awareness can also nullify an issue, or stop it being something that you need to think about or contemplate. This is what I am referring to when I say ‘directing and training the mind’: having awareness of what is happening at any time, and making the choices available to you that will grant you true freedom. Also awareness can stop something being an issue, or stop it being something that you need to think about or contemplate. Once your thinking mind does not see something as a threat any longer, it does not need to give it attention to evaluate it in detail anymore, so it ignores it, and it becomes a subconscious process. Having awareness of your processes will actually help you stop running them in the same subconscious way, and will allow you to become even better at redirecting the mind to feel the way you want to feel.
 	Forgiveness means I immediately forgive myself, for my reaction, emotion, judgement of weakness, inability to be ‘strong’ or more ‘in control’ of myself, or whatever I experience, and know I was doing the best I could with the knowledge and experience I had at that moment. Even if one second later I have more knowledge or experience that I could draw on if it happened again, at that time I was doing the best I could. My emotional resources at that moment were limited to what I was ‘aware’ I had available to me right then. I also immediately forgive anyone else involved, because I know they were also doing the very best they could at that moment. I know that whatever they were doing, they were not doing to me, but because of their own thinking-mind stuff. Forgiveness is the way to higher levels of consciousness. Forgiveness of oneself, and then of others, is a key to removing inner turmoil. Through forgiveness of yourself and others you elevate your vibration to a level where universal influence can reach you and interact with you more freely. Forgiveness also allows you to feel good. If someone else is involved, they do not even have to know about your forgiveness for you to feel good. Not forgiving others hurts you, not them. Forgiveness allows you to relinquish the position you have taken in any situation or interaction, and then you have no reason to beat yourself up if the position fails. In the end, it is all about forgiveness and compassion for yourself, and others, but mainly yourself, and the rest follows. Forgiveness brings with it gratitude and gratitude can bring forgiveness.

Suffering over any event ends when forgiveness of the self takes place.

Forgiveness of the self (especially) and forgiveness of others, so blame is no longer an issue, is required for awakening to take place. The self cannot dissolve it there is still turmoil over the self. Asking for forgiveness is just as important to allow you to forgive yourself.

Insensitivity to others and your surroundings will cause you suffering and create challenges you can blame yourself for. This helps to create the blockage of lack of forgiveness.

 	Surrender means I let go of the position, standpoint, viewpoint, craving, struggle, torment or need I’m holding onto, over or about an event, situation or interaction. I do not mean I accept being treated badly by people, or surrender to them, or perceive myself as helpless. Rather, I let go of what I am holding onto so that any struggle I’m having with myself over my reactions or thought process ends immediately. There is no carryover or carry-on that can cause discomfort or suffering, because my internal decision has ended the cause of my discomfort. The moment is over. If I’m experiencing any overwhelming emotion, as long as there is no physical danger to me, I allow whatever it is I am experiencing internally to happen, rather than struggling to stop it or suppress it, without adding to it with stories or projections. As long as I think it is appropriately safe to surrender and allow them to happen, I will do so. If not, I go wherever I need to go to feel safe, somewhere I can allow myself to experience those emotions fully until they are over with. Consequently, there is no emotional residue carried within me, and by doing so I allow any emotional story that I have been carrying, which may have been suppressed many times in my life, to complete. Without even knowing it was, or indulging in the story. This cleansing process prevents the residue or old story being hooked by similar dynamics or stories in the future and affecting me again. I am free of it.
 	Acceptance means I embrace myself completely, including any aspects I may not be totally comfortable with at that moment. I internally acknowledge that I was doing the best I could at that time, that I am exactly as I should be right now. Everything is fine and exactly as it should be. I make everything I just did unimportant in the grand scheme of things and get back to feeling good, because I want to feel good! 

People often pretend to be awakened because they are afraid of others perceiving them as they perceive themselves, and because they do not except themselves as they perceive themselves to be. This is another symptom of the problem, not a solution.

What you do not accept in yourself, you refuse to accept in others. You will try to change them so you do not have to face in them what you refuse to accept in you.
	
You must first heal the relationship with the self through acceptance before the attachment to self can dissolve.

Become aware of your self-centred activities.

You will not have freedom from the mind until you accept the concept of self that governs it.

Allowed your self to be whatever it is. The acceptance of it will cause it to wither and dissolve, because the thinking mind needs turmoil to continue its illusion of being alive.

Acceptance of what is, aligns you with universal truth. 

Consciously redirecting your thinking you not only train the mind to move away from certain kinds of thinking and towards others, you also allow the mind to see that other forms of thinking can be more advantageous to it than the old condition forms of thought and as a consequence, behaviour.

Always accept yourself as just how you should be right now, with the freedom to choose your thinking and therefore your experience of reality. This is paramount to being able to feel good. The simple act of directing my mind through the process of Awareness - Surrender - Forgiveness - Acceptance has freed me from so much discomfort, dis-ease, struggle, torment and suffering. I could not have imagined this would be possible at one time, but now I have the tools to free myself consistently in any moment, no matter what is going on. 

Having an awareness of why you use certain behaviours will help you decide if you want to continue to use them or swap them for others that support you more.

"We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."

Viktor Frankl

Practice. If you wish to learn an instrument you do so by finding out what to do and then practice it until you become proficient at it.

You cannot change how the mind thinks, but you do have free will over your choice of thoughts, and can therefore change what you think about, and what you give your conscious attention to.

	Your mind is like a parachute, it only works in your favour when it is open. When it is opened it has more chance of supporting new and bringing your feel-good outcome.

	The thinking mind is lazy and will only do the bare minimum to achieve would do what it needs to do. Anything else must be done through conscious choice. Look at fitness. If you are not actively working towards becoming fit, and even if you become fit, if you stop the exercise required to be fit, the body will not continue to use resources to stay fit. It will only do the bare minimum it needs to do, and it stays fit from the assumption that you need to fitness to survive. If you stop training the body assume is that the fitness is no longer required to that level, and the returns to using the bare minimum resources it needs to.

	Everything you experience is a symptom of how you perceive. Would you rather feel good or bad?

Perceptioneering

Change your thinking and your actions and behaviours change.

You can’t know that you don't know something.

xcvxvc

The Importance Of Self-acceptance

Self-acceptance is the most important step to feeling great long-term. You must first resolve your psychological suffering over yourself by letting go of your measurement and judgement of yourself, before you can transcend the thinking mind. If you are not completely free of your self judgement, you are not and cannot be fully awakened, nor can you be at peace. Your attempts to find other solutions will just cause more suffering, and are only attempted because you have trouble accepting yourself, or do not believe you can, or do not believe you are acceptable. In virtually every distressing situation, except where there is an actual physical threat, it is your perception and judgement of yourself that ultimately causes you to suffer. Self-acceptance is a progressive process. Although a higher level can be experienced quickly, it is not something that generally happens in a moment or overnight. Self-acceptance is about updating the way you perceive yourself — your level of perceived self-worth, which has been conditioned for many years, perhaps many decades. Let go of, and do not feed, any area of your public identity, including trying to conform to your internal image of how you think you should be. Stress through suffering causes problems with your immune system, and you can become physically ill through your internal discomfort over yourself. Accept yourself as you are, and help to end this possibility. 
Because of a lack of self acceptance, the drive to change (because you are not fully accepting of and at peace with yourself) and the drive not to change (the minds need to stay the same to keep certainty) causes increasing suffering. If you truly don't know there are other ways to be, or don't believe you deserve to perceive yourself in a different way, then depression and the desire to escape yourself, possibly using commit suicide, will eventually follow. At the very least you will suffer over yourself. 
Many people are in so much emotional or mental pain that they believe the only answer is to seek escape through spirituality and enlightenment, or to commit suicide to escape their thoughts altogether. We do not finish our journey until we’re ready to be reintegrated back into that which we originally came from, universal consciousness, The One. Suicide will not help you escape the journey; it may change it, but you will still have to face what you think you will escape through suicide. In fact, you will probably get more challenging experiences next time as a result of trying to escape. Lessons need to escalate in intensity or they will not eventually create change, and they need to be escalated if you did not get the learning at the previous intensity, till you learn the lesson. Through suicide you will just extend the process. So why not face yourself now? Transcend your current thoughts and perceptions of yourself and move to a higher level of experience in this lifetime.
If you don’t believe in anything beyond this life, then you will most likely suffer from feelings of aloneness and pointlessness, and because of the created sense of separation from Creation, whether you are aware of this or not. Being totally associated with thought will tell you there is nothing other than this existence, and that the only approach is from a thinking perspective. Your best thinking created the challenges you perceive right now. Total association with the thinking mind blinds you to, and filters out higher awareness, because from there you can’t see beyond its influence. Look at every experience you have had in your life and honestly say you cannot possibly see some form of organising awareness behind life. We must be more than just a bunch of creatures living out our existence. There must be a higher purpose and destiny to each and every life, or we would not be here. 
Neither suicide nor escape through awakening can work. What you are experiencing through this level of awareness are the lessons given to you to help you transcend this level of awareness. When you die and move to another level of human existence, you will still have to face the challenges that come with your current level of awareness at the time of transition (physical death). Your discomfort and suffering are lessons to help you transcend your current discomfort or suffering. It is by facing and transcending your issues and the things that cause you to suffer, not by avoiding them, that you will allow you to raise in awareness. It is actually ‘through’ this physical and emotional experience you are having now that awakening or enlightenment can occur. You cannot arrive there without facing your challenges, or by trying to sneak around them, or by just giving up or indulging in victim-hood. 
You may even attempt to escape your challenges and perceived problems through meditation, which can give you a brief respite. Afterwards, however, you still have to return to your life and face yourself again. Others try astral travel to escape themselves. Ultimately, awakening must happen ‘within’ you; it cannot happen when you are off somewhere else. Trying to become awakened will not ease your pain over yourself, because awakening is almost guaranteed not to happen until you are ready to accept yourself and your self-generated pain, and evolve. The only solution is self-acceptance, not self-change. I have a metaphor that may help you understand this concept of self-acceptance. It may explain why so many people struggle, subconsciously, or perhaps consciously, with how they think they should be. 
In front of me I have a glass. This glass wants to be a different kind of glass, so what can this glass do? It must be obvious to you, looking from a higher perspective, that the glass cannot become a different type of glass? As long as it wants to change, because of its assumption that it is not good or worthy, it will suffer over itself. What is the only solution that will end its suffering? Obviously, to simply accept itself for what, and how, it is. Then all suffering over itself will end. Likewise, if a bucket is dirty and it doesn’t like it, what can it do? It is impossible for it to clean itself, so unless it accepts what is, it will suffer. Can you truly see that? Self-acceptance takes away the whole challenge. Once you accept yourself as you are, regardless of what you think you should be like, the suffering ends. You cannot change who you are, so accept yourself. Yes, you can select different behaviours, expectations, question beliefs and so on, with conscious decision-making by directing your perception, but you are still you. As soon as you truly accept yourself as you perceive yourself, there is no suffering involved in being you, or in those traits and behaviours you would prefer not to have.

It’s your negative perception and judgement of yourself that causes your internal suffering. This in turn causes desire or craving to be different.	

Always Treat Yourself Well – Unfortunately, we are conditioned through life to look for what is wrong, or what we do wrong, and often to beat or punish it out of ourselves. This type of punishment doesn’t work.  It just teaches us how to abuse ourselves for making mistakes or for not knowing better, and teaches us how to pretend to be different. I am sad that this approach is still encouraged as a valid method to create change. It is not. Most people want to have good judgement and never make mistakes. This is mainly because of the abuse or punishment that they inflict on themselves in their thinking mind when they make a mistake or think they are being perceived as making a mistake. Good judgement comes from experience. Paradoxically, however, experience more often than not comes from bad judgement. So how can you learn good judgement without bad judgement and making mistakes? Perfection is not the natural way of things. Perfection is really a standard for self-abuse. Perfection is just a way to try to avoid the self-criticism of what is perceived as imperfection, for making so-called mistakes or not getting something exactly right. The subconscious dialogue of "If I can't do it perfectly to start with, there is no point to doing it" is just a way to ultimately avoid self-abuse, which leads to the feeling of worthlessness, or at least a feeling of low worth. "If I don't start, I can't fail, and therefore I can't abuse myself". Don’t let great be the enemy of good. We are all designed the way we are so that we can have our own unique journey of experiential learning, guaranteeing our ascension back to universal consciousness, The One. 

True perfection is when someone is totally at ease with, and genuinely accepting of themselves.	

No other species treats itself badly, not even just once, for any reason. That is why it is so clear to me that thinking causes the problems, yet some people say it’s thinking that sets us apart from other creatures. Clearly not in good ways at times. Other creatures find the lesson in the learning and carry on living and experiencing life in the moment. We, as a species, punish ourselves, multiple times for a single mistake, which only lowers, or confirms our low perception of our worth. What is the point, when doing so just destroys the quality of your life and your self-esteem, which then causes you to behave in ways that cause you to be disappointed with yourself? If you want to experience a better quality of life, you must first start treating yourself well. If you care about yourself, you can be kind to yourself. Kindness immediately raises the experience of your reality because it is based on compassion. The secret to dealing with problems is actually the opposite of what we are taught. We are taught to find out what’s wrong and fix it. 
Unfortunately, because of the general approach in schools (which really began in industrial times when mistakes could cost lives or body parts) and the way our parents and teachers were usually taught, criticism was probably just used to try to get you and the people around you to improve in the ways they thought you should. Not because they were bad people, but because that’s how they were taught also. Though they didn’t like it and it never really served them, these methods still pass from generation to generation as the only approach assumed to create change. The solution I would suggest is to catch yourself doing things that support you, and how you can do these things, whatever they are. If you consider that you’ve made a mistake in any way, forgive yourself immediately, no matter what you did, and accept that you were doing absolutely the best you could in that moment. 
Can you remember back to when you were 10 or 11 and made a mistake? Can you look back from your perspective of life now, using compassion and caring, at your life experience, and see that actually whatever it was you did, you just did because didn’t know any better, and you were actually doing the best you could with what you knew at the time? Even if you knew you shouldn’t be doing it, you didn’t have the experience and knowledge to actually do differently or make different choices, or the awareness that would have allowed you to comprehend the consequences to yourself at the time. Can you forgive the person you were then for not knowing any better? I’m pretty sure you can if you want to be reasonable, compassionate, and kind towards yourself. Do you? Then forgive yourself for whatever it was you did. 
Did you do something a year ago that you consider a mistake? Looking back now, can you forgive yourself for it, because you just didn’t know how to do any different at the time? Yes, you can, if you want to. Did you do something a month ago, and can you see now that you would have done it differently with the knowledge and experience you have now? Can you forgive yourself, if you wanted to? Could you do the same for something you did a week ago, and forgive yourself, simply because you now know you could have done it differently at the time? Can you see what I’m talking about here? The ability to forgive and accept has nothing to do with a period of time. It’s about understanding and compassion. You can, and should, forgive yourself for not knowing any better at the time, no matter when that time was.
In fact, you might have done something ten minutes ago, or just one minute ago, that caused you to criticise yourself. If so, immediately forgive yourself, because you did not know any different. After all, if you had known better and had the ability through awareness to choose differently, you would have done it differently, wouldn’t you? Even if you don’t realise it, you learned something, and already you may do it slightly differently if presented the same situation again, and perhaps you are not ready to do it differently just yet. Forgive yourself anyway. If you would still behave in the same way next time, it is because you do not yet have the awareness that would actually allow you to choose differently, even if you cognitively think you know better and know what you should do instead. That’s okay. The ability to make the choice that will truly support you in moving to higher awareness (of your processes and true choices you can make) will come. Forgive yourself, because whether you like it or not, you are already subconsciously doing what your thinking mind believes supports you the most in meeting your pre-eminent needs. Be kind to yourself and forgive yourself no matter what you do. Straight away! This goes for other people as well. They are just doing the best they can and simply don’t truly know any different. 
“Forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Recognise those words? They are apparently the words Jesus spoke on the cross. No matter how badly he was treated, he understood that they just did not know any better, and he forgave them. Others would have been suffering internally as much as externally because of their bitterness, anger and hatred. I suggest that your internal struggle will lessen when you understand that everybody is trying their best. At the moment, they just don’t know any better way to meet their needs or approach life, and that includes you. You will always use your best reasoning to do what you do, so accept that and be kind to yourself. I guarantee your reasoning will improve simply as a result of the boost to your level of personal value - self-worth, and your change in approach towards yourself and life that results. And where your approach and reasoning points, your behaviour will follow.
There is an analogy I like to use with people that often helps them realise that the way they have been conducting their relationship with themselves is bound to cause them suffering. Imagine this: what if you had to spend the rest of your life in a single room with someone else like you? How would you treat them if they made mistakes you thought they shouldn't make? Would you abuse them into hopefully changing, or would you encourage them to find and adopt better solutions? Remember, you cannot escape them, and you are going to spend the rest of your life with them, so what sort of relationship do you want? The fact is you are stuck in the room in your head with yourself. If you want to enjoy that experience, you have to become friends with yourself or you will be unhappy with yourself, and escape is impossible. 
If you want someone to remain your friend in your external world, would you expect them to stay your friend if you spoke to them like you speak to yourself? Why would they stay? Why would you expect to get on with yourself whilst you are criticising yourself all the time in an effort to change or motivate yourself? It can't work. Become your friend from a higher perspective — step in as a third person in your head and stick up for yourself internally against your critical bully. Don’t fight it; override it with your supporting voice of caring reasoning.
End Your Self-Criticism - If you continuously criticised and put your child down, how would you expect them to be when they grew up? It doesn’t take a psychologist to work out that they would grow up feeling pretty badly about themselves. Inspiring people to change is the only way to create change. Inspiring yourself to use uplifting, supportive, and inspiring behaviours and personalities, is a better way to proceed. If you can truly view yourself without judging your so-called faults, and accept yourself, you will quickly move to a higher awareness level and a better experience of life. You cannot change who you are. The only way to end the conflict is to accept yourself the way you are, and direct yourself away from feeding and supporting your public identity — your internal image of the way you think you should be, and therefore the way you want to be perceived by others. That does not mean accept yourself as a failure or as broken, damaged or a mess. That is not true anyway. That is part of your victim-hood (victim identity) dialogue. Accept yourself as whole already. You are you. Who else do you expect to be? Question and challenge any negative beliefs about yourself at every opportunity. You will soon find them to be just a set of untruths that you somehow once accepted as real. Recognise that you are absolutely fine right now, and accept yourself as you are. Only what ‘I’ think creates and supports my perception of myself. This gives me my whole perception of the world as it corresponds to ‘me’. Because how I perceive my reality is just a reflection of how I perceive myself. So what I think is the only thing that truly matters to me. Be your true self no matter what anyone else thinks, and find a way to feel good about yourself in every moment, because you absolutely can, and deserve to. 
Become self-reliant. Being a sheep will not bring you freedom. Conforming to what others want all the time will just feed your public identity. Getting people to conform has been the goal of governments and religions for centuries (in most cases, not for our greater good). Religions are often dictatorships, usually killing those who disagree with them, or question their beliefs, or cause then to question their own. If you look back in history, it was the people who did not conform to the expectations of the other sheep that were the innovators and the people who changed our future prospects for the better. The Japanese have a saying to influence people to conform: “Don’t be the nail that stands out above the rest, because you will be the first one to get hit.” Public identity has helped those in power to influence more sheeple (people who follow like sheep): now the sheeple coerce other sheeple to conform to perceived public opinion. Now the sheeple keep themselves in line through conformity to public identity, what others will think, fear of judgement and fear of rejection. What people think of you simply shows you their beliefs and judgement system, and should not define you. Those who genuinely use the measurements and judgements of others to define them are generally the happiest, as long as they define themselves well. Some stand out above the rest, and can lead mankind to a better future, as long as their intent comes from a high-vibrational, quality thought process and not a desire for some form of significance, fame or reward. 
Be an example, not a warning. The level of self-acceptance that leads to awakening comes when you can look at yourself in the mirror, see what is actually there, and genuinely be happy to see it, with no conflict or discomfort over how you think you should be. Take off the public identity projection glasses and really see and accept yourself for all you are, and see all your true potential. Then you can truly blossom and become awakened. Many of our behaviours are just symptoms of the real problem, which is lack of self-acceptance and self-esteem. Therefore, belief in yourself and esteem for yourself will change a lot of the behaviours that you might be uncomfortable with now. Honouring yourself for who you truly are is also honouring universal consciousness, The One. Go to bed with no regrets every day. In fact, have no regrets at all. Smile at every opportunity. Become curious, and find the good in everybody you meet, including yourself. It will feel good.

People who accept themselves, and forgive themselves and others immediately, no matter what they do, are totally immune to the beliefs, judgements, criticisms, perceptions, and projections of others.	

In Fiji and India, I learned a technique that they use to promote self-acceptance. AnandaGiri Ji said to me, “Go outside and find a big rock or tree. Then sing to it with much happiness and joy about all the things that you do not like about yourself, and have a laugh with yourself about all of these things. Accept them and have fun over them.” At the time, I did not truly know what he meant or if it could be done. I now laugh over myself all the time because I now truly experience the wisdom he shared with me over this. Laughter and light heartedness brings about an end to the internal conflict that these issues can cause. If you do this openly and with conviction for your happiness, you will soon find that your so-called flaws are just perceptions of yourself that can cause you to feel discomfort over your perception of yourself, because you take yourself too seriously. 
Laughing with yourself for the traits and behaviours that you perceive in yourself will free you to actually enjoy yourself, even if you still function through and display these traits and behaviours. Find a big tree or rock (that you feel will not be offended by all your perceived shortcomings), and sing joyfully to it about yourself for an extended period of time. Do not allow yourself to get involved with what you are saying and judging yourself. Then see how you feel. Do not allow your public identity stop you by judging you and causing you to feel like others are watching. Make sure you are alone and can be free to enjoy the experience. If the exercise improves how you feel, it was certainly worthwhile. Always congratulate yourself on your accomplishments and successes no matter how small. Never criticise yourself for what you perceive as your failings, no matter how large you perceive them to be. Treat yourself kindly — if you don’t, who else can you rely on to do so?

There is no point accepting yourself as your pretentious public identity image. That is not true self acceptance. That is trying to accept yourself in the way you think you need to be, and only then will you be acceptable to yourself and others. This can never happen.

Your lack of acceptance is the very thing that causes your pain.

Acceptance creates more space in the mind which allows new choices to be made about action and reaction.

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Always Be Your Authentic Self, 
No Matter What

To me, the righteous are the people who honour themselves and always treat themselves well. This might sound selfish, but when you honour and treat yourself well, you invariably treat others well. More often than not, the people who treat themselves badly tend to treat others badly. Being your authentic self is a prerequisite to self-acceptance and therefore awakening. Part of being spiritually awakened is being totally comfortable with yourself, no matter what anybody else thinks, in spite of other people’s opinions, judgements, and beliefs. Who you truly are is who you truly are. Trying to be anything or anyone else is really quite absurd. I’m going to make a statement about the way I have changed that is completely different to how I was taught: “I will be true to myself first and foremost, and then take into account the needs of others regardless of what they think about that.” I do not mean I get what I want first and then think of others. Nor do I mean, “I want what I want first, and then I will consider what you want.” That is just being selfish; it is low-level thought and low awareness. I mean being personally honest. Be honest about your needs and take care of yourself regardless of what others think, even if at times it is to the detriment of others. As long as your intent is to take care of and be true to yourself, not to be selfish or hurtful to others, then you are not being selfish. People are often selfish because no one will give them what they want or need, so they just take it. That is just fulfilling your cravings and shortcomings at a cost to others and yourself. It’s a different motivation entirely to recognise that in your life you are the most important person you have to live with, so you must be able to take care of yourself before you can freely have that ability to truly take care of others.
When you are truly honest with yourself, about yourself, whilst honouring yourself, miracles happen in your life. Can you see the truth about yourself in every situation or interaction? Can you see the dislike you have for other people, or the judgements and contempt you harbour, if any? Be totally honest, but without judging yourself. Your suffering arises not because of what you do, but because you judge yourself harshly and criticise yourself for doing it. Self-judgement itself ultimately causes you pain. The thinking mind is designed to judge. We cannot escape these judgements while we are interacting with the thinking mind. However, the judgements need only happen once, and we do not need to interact with them or feed them energy. It is our interaction with them that breathes life, colour, sound, movement and reality experience into them. Allow them to pass without joining in the discussion about the judgement. If you do happen to catch yourself joining in the discussion and judging someone, forgive yourself immediately. Step away from the judgement. Let it go. Surrender your struggle, recognise and accept that you are exactly as you should be right now.
When you are totally authentic with yourself, you behave more caringly towards others and give more freely. Say what you need to say, and always be aware of the impact of your choices and behaviours on others, from a caring perspective, but honour yourself first. Deliver what you have to say in a way that satisfies your need, and simultaneously shows compassion and consideration for the feelings and well-being of others. Always be true to yourself. I’m not saying here that just because you think something, you should say it. If speaking up could cause unnecessary problems without solving any external issues, then there is no real need to say it. Don’t forget, we must still consider Karma. When honouring yourself first, be aware that you will accumulate some negative Karma, as well as good Karma. Although it is highly spiritual to be totally true to your own experience of life, there is also a cost for every action and how it impacts others. Be compassionate and considerate to others, whilst still being true to yourself. When you have a good quality thought process and high-level reasoning, your honesty will actually be empowering to others. People will know that you have true integrity because they see you being true and honest with yourself, and with others as necessary, rather than pretending for the sake of public identity or for an easy life. They will be able to trust your internal integrity, even if at times they don’t like your choices, opinions or approaches. 
As you become more aware, you will be able to honour yourself, and still honour others’ needs most of the time. The only caveat I will put on honouring yourself first is to honour your young children first, whilst not allowing them to indulge in victim-hood, and still caring for, and being kind to, yourself. The Bible saysᾬ œTo thine own self be true.” When you can honestly do this, you will be able to serve at a much higher level, and be a true example and an inspiration to others. Just be aware that honouring yourself is one of the steps; it is by no means the last step to awakening. True self-acceptance is the true requirement to be gifted awakening.

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The Johari Window

Understanding how you view yourself and how the feedback of others can help you, is a valuable tool for developing self-acceptance. Below is the traditional diagram of Johari’s window. It was named by splitting and combining the two first names of the people who designed it, Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham, Joe and Harry. This diagram has been used since the 1950s to help people understand how to develop and grow their awareness, and also to help in group environments to promote team work. It also has many other uses. 

Fig 13.  Self-Awareness

1.  	What is known by the person about him/herself — and is also perceived by others: open area, open self, free area, free self, or really the comfort zone.	
2.	What is consciously unknown by the person about him/herself and which others experience or perceive: blind area, blind self, otherwise known as your blind-spot.	
3.	What the person knows about himself/herself that others do not know about: hidden area, hidden self, avoided area, avoided self.	
4.	What is unknown by the person about him/herself and is also unknown by others: unknown area or unknown self, and could be seen as unknown potential.	

Using the figure above, solicit feedback from others about ways in which they perceive you that you may not have known. Bear in mind that these are only their opinions and you can accept or decline them as you wish. Be very clear that this is not a ’find out what people think is wrong with you’ exercise. This feedback allows you to make choices about whether to continue the behaviour or update it. Not for them, but because you feel it no longer serves you. It is also to discover the supportive qualities they perceive you to have that you may not be consciously aware of. Perhaps you are consistently perceived as arrogant, or looking for pity, and you are oblivious to your approach to some people. Also aim to find out about uplifting things you were not aware of about yourself. If you are not affected by strong public identity illusion (believing you are as you want to be perceived), then the chances are that you will assume you are perceived less favourably than you actually will be. 
When you look at this feedback in an uplifting, open-minded way, you increase the area of the known public self, and thereby enlarge your perspective on yourself. The more you expose the parts of you that fit into area 3 — and the more you look at your own behaviours, beliefs, expectations and perceptions of yourself and others — the bigger the area of your known and public self becomes. As a result, you have less to defend against because you have less to hide or hide from. In turn, this process opens up more information about yourself that neither you nor others may be aware of yet: your potential. Continuing the process of openly, non-reactively receiving feedback, you can also look at yourself from a caring perspective. As you outwardly expose the perceived traits and beliefs you may want to hide about yourself, and accept them, you will gradually change the quality of your perception. (As long as you don’t use this as a form of measurement to allow you to judge yourself and find fault with yourself, as this will just engender self-criticism). You will start and continue to perceive yourself in a different way, thereby becoming more relaxed about, and happy with, yourself. Here is an example of the value of feedback. Because of the public identity, we process our actions, and the actions of others, in different parts of the thinking mind. That is why people can appear to have totally different perceptions of their own behaviour and that of others. You may have seen people complain about someone doing something that they are actually doing themselves, and are not even aware of it. Like they have different expectations and rules for themselves, compared to those they have for others. It is not that they necessarily do, they mostly don’t even realise this is going on. Getting feedback from others can help bring these two areas of the mind together so you have choices you didn’t have before about those behaviours.
Below, I have added an expanded image of the window, showing how becoming more open about yourself, to yourself, and to others, will help you to rise to new levels of awareness, not only about yourself, but also beyond yourself. It shows how exposing the parts of yourself that you would rather hide, Area 3, causes the size of that area that you are hiding to decrease in size, and strength. It also shows how taking constructive feedback from others and integrating it into your awareness of yourself decreases your blind spot, Area 2. Then it shows how doing both of these opens you up to discover new things about yourself, Area 4. This is all part of the process of consciously moving towards self-acceptance, and as a result, automatically moving away from defensiveness, and opening up to non-reactiveness and peace.

Fig 14.  Changes in Self-Awareness

	Box 1 Yourself &   - Box 3  Core-id  -  Box 4 “Awakening lies”

1.  	The parts of you that you’re comfortable allowing others to see, because there is little or no fear attached.	
2.	What others see and you don’t see (and what others may think you’re trying to hide). What you are just not aware of in your approaches. Obtain feedback from others about what they see and take their feedback without defensiveness. You do not have to accept it, their feedback as it is only their opinion. Be open to the possibility that it is true if it resonates with you or triggers discomfort, or worse in you. If it causes any defensive reaction or sense of discomfort, then it is probably something you are already aware of, but either don’t want to accept in yourself or don’t want others to be able to see. Being able to accept feedback from others in a way that allows you to evaluate its validity before accepting or rejecting it without defensiveness or ill feeling is a big part of becoming aware and vibrating at a higher level.	
3.	What you want to hide from others about yourself, and from yourself. Your willingness to disclose details about yourself that you would prefer to keep hidden, and at the same time practicing exposing yourself as opposed to defending yourself, is your biggest opportunity for relinquishing fear about yourself. This is an area where self-acceptance is needed and created.	
4.	These are the traits and abilities etc. that are unknown to either you or others. This is the area where awakening is possible. As this area gets smaller, higher-level thought and quality of reasoning become more frequent, because there is more self-acceptance and it engenders a much higher perceived self-worth. It is through this higher-quality, higher-vibrational thought process that you will eventually gain freedom from the thinking mind.	
IPE	Stands for Increased Potential for awakening, or enlightenment to new choices. The more you disclose and allow others to see (the more you accept the parts you don’t like or don’t want to look at or accept), the smaller the unknown area of you becomes. As your thought quality and level of reasoning rise, you increase your potential for happiness, awakening and enlightenment.	

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The Illusion Of Control

Something always happens next. It is up to you whether it has to be what you want to happen, or if you can allow it to be simply what is presented to you by universal influence. If you have an optimistic expectation and focus, and you just allow things to unfold before you, they are usually better than you planned for. We are all subject to universal influence, and whether you realise it or not, everything that is going on around you in your life is the outcome of the support from that universal influence. Universal influence, or providence, is like ultraviolet rays: you can’t see them at work with the physical eye, but you can see their effects on everybody who has been exposed to them. We are all subject to universal influence. No exceptions! A need for control is just a need for some level of certainty, which is a fear-based drive. A need for certainty is basically a need for some sense of control so you can comfortable survive, and the need for control is a process run by fear. The less control you try to apply to your world, the less fearful you will be. When we experience fear, we try to control it in an attempt to minimise it. Yet the fear was created by the very thing we try to control it with, the thinking mind. If you are fearful, you are controlling; if you are controlling, you are fearful. Why not choose peace and faith in Creation over control? When you are not controlling and not fearful, you will be able to face your illusions of fear. In facing them, they will dissolve. Facing fear is the only way to transcend it. Trying to control your world in order to stop having to face your fears is a strategy guaranteeing that universal influence will put things in your way to make sure you have to face these fears, one way or another. Of course, you have freedom of choice, which means you can continue to fight them (and therefore remove your opportunity to transcend them) for as long as you want. 
Our journey in life is to transcend what holds us back and thereby ascend in our awareness. This journey cannot be undertaken whilst hiding. It can only be accomplished by facing what you fear so that it no longer affects you. This process includes outgrowing your need for control. If you have a desire to control other people, forget it. You will just cause yourself to suffer. You have perceived control over others only whilst they give it to you. Once that control is taken away from you, which it can be at any time, it no longer exists. So you didn’t have true control anyway. Yes, you can have influence over a person, but that is dependent on their agreement — it is not control. Unfortunately, and certainly in the Western world, we have become quite attached to what we perceive as our ability to control things and people. If you had any true idea how many factors must come into alignment to allow even the smallest event or situation to happen, you would not dream of trying to assume you can have control over them.  You would realise that there is something much more powerful overseeing organising everything and that your level of perceived control is futile in comparison. For you just to leave home and arrive at work on any given day requires the culmination of millions upon millions of events and situations coming into alignment. I guarantee that you cannot even comprehend the number of factors that have to align in and before every second for anything to happen at all. The figure is absolutely beyond the words to describe it. Trying to understand this level of universal organisation is like a mouse trying to understand how to fly the space shuttle. It’s impossible. Just driving your car, which most people think they have complete control over, is the culmination of millions of factors aligning in your favour at the same time.
I’m not saying this to scare you or to put you off driving, I’m just using driving as an example so you know how much is out of your control during a routine daily event for most people that they think they are in control of. The only control you truly have is over the internal the choices you make whilst you are driving, or anything else you are doing. What about every other driver on the road? Do you have control over them? Of course you don’t. There are literally millions of other factors that influence them and their journey in any moment. When you add all these variables together, you quickly realise that you have no true control at all other than in your decisions, and your perceptions. What decides who’s going to crash today and who makes it safely to their destination? It certainly is not you, not unless you decide to stop someone with your car. Even that outcome is based on a decision you make and it is still not guaranteed to work if the universal organising system decides it’s not going to happen. It is so clear to me that something much bigger than anything we can truly comprehend has an organising influence over everything, other than our free will. Free-will means you are free to use your internal will in any way you choose. Too many things happen with perfect synchronicity for anything to be by accident.
Control of anything in the outside world, outside of your mind, is a thinking illusion. That includes everything outside your internal world, even control over your body. At this moment, if you have control over your body, it is because certain factors are in alignment allowing that to work. If one of those variables were to come out of alignment or ‘break’, you might lose the use of part or all of your body. Your body is not your body. It’s just the physical vehicle through which you experience this physical, linear adventure. Just as you cannot control yourself, you cannot control others into using or practising the different behaviours you think they should adopt. You can, however, influence them into wanting to adopt higher-level behaviours by modelling those behaviours yourself as an example (if they are real for you, pretending will not work). Of course, they can still choose not to oblige you. 
The only true control we have in our life is how we direct our conscious thinking: what we focus our attention on; the conscious questions we ask about ourselves and the world and the statements we make; creating meaning for us, out of what we perceive (the stories we tell ourselves about what we are perceiving and what we are telling ourselves it means). These processes create our emotional experience of any event, situation or interaction. Everything is a reflection of your internal thinking world. If you let go of your need for controlling your outside world, you will be setting yourself free to experience life in a deeper and more profound way. Nothing can hurt or affect you ‘internally’ unless you allow it to, or cause it to. It is only because you believe you can stop them causing you pain that you try to control people, and your environment. With this book, you can gain the knowledge required to help you to approach life from a very different perspective. Learn to be free to choose how you want to experience and enjoy your life without any need for imagined or perceived external control. When you accept that you are supported in any endeavour by the universal organising system, which is designed to support you in your ascension of awareness, you will start to experience more freedom. Being able to recognise the difference between true emotions and created emotions is also very important.

Controlling people are displaying their insecurity not their strength.

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Perceptions of Right, Wrong, Good & Bad

Right, wrong, good and bad are all descriptions of a perception of reality. These are simply perspective-biased descriptions of events, situations or interactions. This is important to understand. From a higher-awareness perspective, there is no good, bad, right or wrong. Everything that happens in your life is just an event, an experience. Judgements of right, wrong, good and bad are created by the meaning you apply to any event or experience (the story you tell yourself about what you perceive to be happening or what you perceive it to mean). The perspective of the person viewing or experiencing the event (stimulus) dictates if it is perceived as right, wrong, good or bad. When the President of the United States dropped a bomb on Hiroshima, many people in the United States, and some other places, considered it to be a good thing, whilst the people in Hiroshima, and others, obviously considered it to be a bad thing. Many people in the United States, and others, considered it to be the right thing to do, whilst others would have considered it to be the wrong thing to do. Was it right, wrong, good or bad? The answer totally depends on the perspective of the person viewing the event, and their beliefs, expectations, agenda and evaluation process at the time. All of you will have experienced at some point making a decision to do something that you believed was the right thing to do, only to find out later that it could be perceived as the wrong thing to do. Was it right or wrong? It was both, and neither. It was just an event that was given different meanings based on different perspectives at different times. How many of you can look back to an event or experience in your past (perhaps losing a job or not getting something you wanted, or perhaps a relationship ending) where you may have said it was the worst day of your life? Now, however, because of changes that came about because of that event or experience, you may consider it to be one of the most beneficial days of your life. Was it a good day or was it a bad day? That totally depends on your perspective at the time of viewing it, which will be based on your expectations, beliefs, approach, focus and reasoning at the time of judging it.

Tis nothing good nor bad, but thinking makes it so.
       -- ‘William Shakespeare’	

I hope you’re starting to see what I’m getting at here. Everything is just an experience and an event. If you view it as such, you can be free of the emotional bindings of judgement over it. Every event can be viewed as good, bad, right or wrong. Choose to always view things in a way that allows you to continue feeling good. Feeling good should be the highest priority in your life. It dictates the quality of your life in any moment. Use all the teachings that I’ve shared with you in this book to make sure you are free from the need to judge events. Then you can choose how you wish to experience them. This is true freedom of choice. Creation and your guides constantly place events, situations and interactions in your path. Your experience of life is purely how you perceive these events. You have the right and the ability to view them in any way you choose, because you have unquestionable free-will internally. People with a high-level, high-quality thought and reasoning process will find ways to view anything in a way that can uplift them and allow them to continue feeling good. People with low-level thinking and reasoning processes will consistently find ways to judge events and apply meaning that does not help them feel good. In fact, their judgements will cause them to feel disempowered and unhappy. Understanding that everything is just an event will help you to raise your level of consciousness and awareness to a higher level, which will raise the quality and vibration of your thoughts. It should also help you stop taking positions and set viewpoints over anything in your life.

zxczxc

Your Suffering Is In Your Struggle

Craving of any kind causes struggle. Craving to be slim, right, worthy, rich, famous, pretty, handsome, cool, powerful, in control, strong, enlightened, emotionally safe, successful, popular, and many, many other attachments that your thinking mind convinces you that you need, will cause you struggle. Cravings like these are associated with the physical or external world, not the internal world, which is where you reside. There are many reasons why people struggle: defective beliefs about themselves, relationships, success, health, grace, god, spirituality, resistance to feelings, conditioning, resistance to change, other people having free will, unwillingness to grow older or to show the physical changes associated with ageing, fear of facing oneself and so on. The common element in all these cravings, and their root cause, is people struggling with and over themselves. Anything you do not accept will cause you to struggle, and that will cause you discomfort, upset, torment or suffering, now or at some point. 
Struggle almost always comes from some form of attachment, whether attachment to an object or a perspective, a position, an outcome, a way of perceiving yourself or others, and basically any attachment to anything. Taking a position and attachment are thinking-mind concepts. In reality, there is nothing to hold onto, because everything only exists in the moment, and everything changes. Trying to hold onto anything, even an emotion, will ultimately cause you pain, because holding on usually entails things staying the same. You are then fighting the universal law of constant change. Everything you have is merely on loan or passing through your experience of life, including your body and your situations in life. You are just the caretaker of the objects you believe you possess in your life, including the clothes on your back and even your back. You brought nothing physical (made of matter) into this world with you, and you will take nothing physical away with you, including your body. The only exceptions to this rule are your Karma and your experience of your life — your learning evolvement and evolution, which stays with you on your evolutionary journey. You cannot be aware of your previous incarnations because this would affect the life you are having. You may be given snippets of information that pertain to your evolution, but they are bits that you need to hear or experience to evolve in that moment. Most of what you will experience from yourself and others is based on imagination. Very few truly know the difference, even if they may say they do.
Nothing in nature remains the same; something must always be changing. It is only the thinking mind that fights against this law. In nature, if something is not growing it is dying, and that includes humans. If we are not growing emotionally or experientially, we will feel like we are dying inside. Letting go of your preconceived ideas or attachments about yourself or anything else will give you freedom from suffering, whereas holding onto them will cause you to continue suffering. Allow every moment to be new. Whatever that moment brings, allow everything to come and go as it needs to. Any attempt to stop or restrict the flow of universal influence will cause you to struggle and suffer, one way or another.
Children generally learn to associate lack and inadequacy with themselves at a very young age. They can spend the rest of their lives trying to fill their perceived inadequacies with possessions, status, money, fame, position, significance and even other people. If we were taught as children that we lack nothing — that all will be supplied based on our high expectations — we would not grow up to be needy adults. When you want, need, or become attached to anything, ask yourself these questions. 
1.	Will getting this - whatever it is - really make me happy for more than a very short time, honestly?
2.	Am I chasing it because I feel a lack or inadequacy in myself?
3.	Am I sacrificing freedom from attachment and ‘true’ happiness for brief satisfaction?
4.	Could I honestly still be happy without it?
The answers will help you know if you truly need whatever it is, or if it is being used to fill a hole of some kind in you. If you are trying to fill a gap, then whatever you are going after will never fill it anyway. It can only be filled with self-acceptance, self-love, caring and compassion for yourself.
True wealth and success are really about your quality of life, which comes from the quality of your thoughts and reasoning, and ultimately your feeling experience of these things. Recognise attachments and feel what they do to you. Suppose you are holding onto something that causes physical pain, let’s say a hot rock. When you get the sense that it is starting to hurt or cause you discomfort, I assume you would let it go, right? Why don’t we do the same when we are holding onto something that’s causing emotional pain or discomfort, like a relationship, or a possession? Maybe we are used to that level of emotional pain, or worse, or have even come to expect it. Maybe we don’t believe we deserve better. Get used to letting go of anything that gives you any experience of turmoil or pain, especially your attachment to being right or not being wrong. Releasing your attachment opens you to something new emerging in your life. When you perceive that you are losing something, recognise that you don’t actually lose any of yourself with it. You may perceive that you do, but this is not actually the case. It is an illusion created by the thinking mind.
The strength of your attachment will dictate how much you think you have lost, or have to lose. You can only lose something that was yours, and since nothing belongs to you, loss is also just an illusion. Objects move through your perception of life as part of universal influence, and they are only on loan to you, to help with your evolutionary experience of life and your perception of reality. You are still whole and still complete, with everything you need to feel great at your disposal, right now, so why suffer? Accept any change with open arms and life will reward you. Life is just like a sitcom if you are willing to view it that way. If you just observe it, it can be good fun. If you try to stop it or hold onto any part of it, the struggle begins. Just let go and be open to what life and universal influence can provide for you. It will be better than what you could conjure up for yourself with your current level of thinking.
The same advice applies to situations and interactions. It is not a problem that you become triggered by people, situations or events. The problem is that the struggle often doesn’t end for you after the initial stimulus has gone. The suffering is in the struggle, not in the why (the detail) of it. You may punish yourself for being triggered, which continues for some time after the actual stimulus. If you notice this going on in yourself, forgive yourself immediately, and surrender your struggle. You were doing the best you could with the level of awareness you had at that moment. You could not be expected to have done any better in that moment. Otherwise, I guarantee you would have done it. However, to continue the experience after the trigger has gone is due to the thinking mind and imagination getting involved. The thinking mind latches onto the stimulus and builds a story (in your imagination) around it, giving it colour, sound, movement and life, and then re-runs it in the virtual reality loop using your continued thinking and imagination. The thinking mind now runs the story and creates struggle that exists completely independent of the trigger or stimulus, and it is desperately trying to change the situation by indulging imaginary outcomes to find a way to win, or not lose. It is also an attempt to stop or avoid the self-abuse that you will inflict on yourself for perceiving yourself to have failed in some way. Indulging in these imaginary alternative realities is what causes you discomfort, torment, and suffering, with no end in sight, until you choose to stop or are distracted out of doing so. 
When an event is over, whether it was an interaction with a person or a situation or event that triggered you, it should be over internally as well. Your experience of it should finish at the same time that the physical event ends, or immediately after. Otherwise, you will continue to struggle with it needlessly. Obviously, if the situation is a physical event where danger or violence was a perceived reality, or even a possibility or probability, it is important that the things that need to be done to safeguard yourself are done. However, repeatedly going over the event afterwards will cause more unneeded struggle and suffering. Don’t make it into more than it is or was. For those of you who think that revisiting that situation endlessly will help you avoid it in the future, think again. Your thinking mind will do that subconsciously anyway, and will already have learnt what it needed to learn from whatever it was. Therefore, you do not need to be involved in that process. If there is genuine physical danger, the mind will not shift its focus or attention until the danger is over. As long as there is any kind of physical threat, the mind is going to focus on it — that is the way it should be. That’s what it does — it is designed to keep us alive. 
Be aware that the thinking mind can easily take a small trigger, even something as small as a single word or a breath taken or exhaled in a certain way, and make it into a complete drama, totally separate from the reality of the moment. It will then struggle over it, mainly because we are capable of believing that it is a real experience. 
We can experience it as real, especially if we indulge it by giving it our attention and letting our storyteller and imagination get involved. If we can create a perceivably real reality out of tiny stimuli, then we can certainly do so with something bigger. It can be all too easy to turn an experience into more than it was and give yourself a reason to struggle over it. You will suffer more if you exaggerate and make it far more than it was, and there is really no genuine point in that. There is only one way to transcend this kind of invented suffering, and that is to surrender your struggle over it as quickly as your level of awareness will allow.

xcv

Surrendering Is The Solution

Surrender means to let go of any attachment to a position or outcome. Succeeding against all odds can only come from surrendering your position or attachment to outcome. The ability to surrender is the ability to gain victory over the thinking that causes you to struggle or suffer. Surrender does not mean resignation or defeat; it is not about saying, “I don’t care anymore” or “I give up.” If your surrender still holds resentment, bitterness or self-criticism, then it is not true surrender. Rather, surrender gives you the opportunity for clarity: to be able to take action if needed in any direction required, because you have no attachment to position. Surrender releases you from the risk of resistance, reaction or identification with your victim or public identity. Surrender sets you free to respond spontaneously from your higher self. True surrender is about taking responsibility for yourself and not giving it to somebody else who will then be able to manipulate you through your reactions and emotional triggers. Neither should you give it over to controlling emotions, including resentment. Surrender means to accept things as they are, not as you want them to be because of your attachment to a position or outcome. Surrender your viewpoint, position, perspective, needed outcome, belief, judgement, criticism, resentment, and any attempt to change others. 

It is almost always the moment after you surrender (let go of) your need for something or someone that the object of your previous attention turns up.	

Pole-vaulters must let go of what they are holding onto at some point to be able to succeed in their endeavour. If they don’t, they are far more likely to get hurt. In fact, if they keep holding on, they will inevitably be hurt. From a higher awareness perspective, everything is just an event, situation or interaction, so surrender your attachment to whatever it is. Without surrender (letting go), little change can be expected. This next example may sound simplistic, but for me it is the easiest way to explain surrender. When I walk out of my house to go out somewhere and see that it’s raining, I let it — I let it go, and it no longer affects me. Then I focus on what causes me to feel good. Probably each one of you has heard the saying:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can change,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

That is all I’m talking about when I say “I let it rain” and I let go. What would be the point of even considering any other option? There is nothing I can do about it, but I could surely let it ruin my day by telling myself disempowering stories about it and how it will affect my day in a negative way. The same philosophy applies for something as small as a viewpoint or idea. True happiness can only be achieved through true surrender. Surrender is the answer and not something to be feared. You feel discomfort, or worse, whenever there is an internal fight or struggle going on. Surrender the fight and just be. That also means to surrender to the flow of life and universal influence. Let life be presented to you and experience it as it comes. Something always happens next. It is up to you whether that will be what you need through attachment, or whether it will be simply what comes. The second option is usually much better than the future envisioned in your present plans and demands. 
Raise your thought process and allow whatever needs to happen to be presented to you by universal influence for your evolution. The thinking mind says you have to make progress by solving problems, and it can look at anything as a problem if you don’t consciously override it with higher reasoning. Holding on too tightly to the belief that you have to make things happen will prevent universal influence supplying you with the experiences that you truly need in order to progress. Constantly indulging in this problem-solving approach also inhibits change, because you cannot solve a problem with the level of awareness that created it. You can only come up with a perceived solution related to that same level of awareness. Surrender and allow the universe to provide for you. If you achieved or reached in ten years what you planned for now, you would probably end up with the same attitudes then that you have now. Your expectations should always update as you change. You must surrender your old attachments at some point for change to occur. So when would now be a good time to surrender your struggle? Become creative, not resistive.
Sometimes doing nothing will bring about better change than you could ever plan for or make happen. You do, of course, need to have a vision of the outcome you desire (choose a feeling-based outcome – how do you want to feel) and be committed to it. Hold the true intent for that outcome in your imagination. See it as having already happened, and experience it with the emotional intensity you would feel if it had already happened. Rejoice as loudly and energetically as you can. Then let go and let universal influence do the rest. Universal influence, informed by your guides, will provide you with a set of circumstances that are much better than you could have planned. Even if your results are slightly different than what you wanted, which is great for creating change, you received exactly the experience you needed to progress. You will be free of discomfort, suffering, torment and emotional pain when you are ready to let go and surrender your perceived control of these things. 
Nothing can solve a situation quicker than surrender. If you are not attached to or struggling with a perception, position, situation or outcome, how can it cause you discomfort, torment or suffering? The struggle will end when you surrender your side of the struggle. There cannot be a struggle if you have surrendered. Two people cannot have an argument if one is not arguing because they have no position to defend. If your thinking mind wants to ask how long a struggle will take, it takes as long as it takes you to surrender your attachment to whatever is causing you to struggle. That includes surrendering the need to measure your progress, and accepting the length of time that progress will take. Any time you feel resistance because you don’t want something to be the way it is, you need to surrender. If you or your partner is determined to have something a certain way, this resistance will always cause struggle until the need is surrendered. When either of you relinquishes your position (attachment) in any struggle, it will change or end. If it just changes and struggle continues, then another position has been taken.
I do not mean wait for your partner to give in before you can feel okay. Do what you need to do to create peace inside yourself independent of the perceived situation with them. If you wait for them to change, you may wait forever, and you will suffer needlessly. The secret to peace is in surrendering, not in fighting harder. Whenever there is a need to control, the only solution is to surrender that need. Otherwise, it will cause you suffering, and most likely give others the opportunity to suffer, which will in turn cause you more suffering. You can surrender the struggle privately or you can do it publicly. It will have a more beneficial effect on your self-belief if you do it publically, but that is your choice. It is your growth after all. If someone challenges you about something, rightly, there are two paths you can take. It would be easy to put up a struggle and try to deny their opinion, or try to put them off somehow, perhaps by taking another position, or changing to another subject, which just creates another position. Alternatively, if you were to say, “Yes, you are right” and surrender your attachment to not being wrong, what could they actually say? They could go on making the point to feel superior, but if you didn’t respond, they would soon start to feel uncomfortable. Eventually, they would just give up or struggle more with themselves. Surrender takes away the opportunity for resistance and the need to struggle. Internal struggle always causes some level of discomfort or pain. Let go of your resistance.
When you let something go, something new always replaces it. Conversely, in order to have something new come into your life, you must first let something go. Look at it like this: when a water vessel is full, you must first remove part of its contents before something fresh is able to enter. Sometimes, you must empty some space (make room for something new) and then allow universal influence to decide what that new experience or object of attention will be. Rather than your controlling attachment trying to force it to be only that which you want. Hold an intention about what you would like to receive, but then be more focused on how it will cause you to feel rather than the details of its exact nature. Without learning true surrender, you will never have true peace and you will not awaken from the illusion the thinking mind is holding you in. 
Non-resistance is probably another way to describe surrender. Water is a great example of the power of non-resistance. Observe water as it runs down a stream. No matter where it is running, it will encounter obstacles, either in view of the surface or underneath. Watch how the water deals with these obstacles. It does not sit in front of the obstacle and try to make it move by pushing or fighting or bullying because it has made a decision that it is going in that direction (taken a position). It simply looks for the path of least resistance, and flows however it needs to flow to continue its journey in the easiest possible way. As a result, nothing has power over it. Water is one of the most powerful and destructive elements on our planet, yet it is constantly surrendering through non-resistance. How could it be so powerful yet surrender all the time? Its secret to power is non-resistance, which allows it to move faster and more fluidly than almost anything else on earth. Learn the lessons of water and emulate its example of non-resistance when you encounter any obstacle, whether it appears immovable or not. You will always find a way through surrender and non-resistance. Remember: Be Open To Everything and Attached To Nothing, so that universal influence can guide you and accelerate your growth. It is designed to do just that. However, it is your free will and quality of thinking that dictates its effectiveness in helping you grow beyond your current awareness.

Four Truths About Suffering

1/  90% of your suffering is self-created and not related to any external problem, issue, event, situation or interaction. Suffering exists in the meaning you give to what you perceive. It usually involves blaming a present or past person or a present or past event or situation without taking responsibility for what you are thinking.
2/ The external world is just a reflection of the inner world. In the internal world, the thinking mind is always looking for solutions. An external problem is usually a manifestation of a problem in the internal thinking world. Someone who uses illness to get attention and/or significance will bring on illness. Blaming everyone else or even god will cause the dis-ease to continue. Any challenge approached with negativity or from a disempowering perspective will never produce positive or uplifting results. Any action born of anger, hurt or blame will create more anger, hurt and blame.
3/ If the inner world’s thinking changes, so will the external world’s ‘perceived’ problems and obstacles.
4/ How you think, so shall it be. If you focus on hate or fear, you become what you hate, or get what you fear. At the very least, you get the emotional experience of it. Whether you like it or not, you are a slave to what you hate, because it will keep, or keep getting, your attention, and because of that you will also manifest it.

Four Keys To Ending Suffering

1/ Self-acceptance. Accept yourself as you are and you will have peace. Do not tell yourself that only when you no longer display the behaviours or traits you dislike will you be able to accept yourself. That is not self-acceptance. That is functioning according to the rules of your internal public identity image. You are already acceptable to some people, no matter what you do. Be acceptable to yourself and your behaviours will change as a result, because you will want to treat yourself better. Not because you are being held to ransom by your public identity and its rules.
2/ Relationships. Forgive and seek forgiveness. Have you sought forgiveness and let go of your guilt for anything you feel you have done or has been done to you? One of the secrets to ending long-term suffering is to stay with the pain, any pain, when you experience it (without amplifying it by adding story, meaning or emotions to it), thereby allowing the story to complete. Once you have gone through it and experienced it, it can end and dissipate. Have you forgiven all of those people you have blamed in your life for the things you believe they did to you? Go and forgive them personally, even if they don’t want to hear it. Alternatively, forgive them by bringing an image of them into your mind and honestly forgive them there, because they deserve your forgiveness. If you don’t give it, you are really only hurting yourself, not them. Isn’t it time to end that suffering?
3/ Prayer. Do you have the faith to expect and then receive what you actually pray for? When you pray, be as humble as you can and offer your surrender in your prayers. Although I am not religious, I believe in a higher organising awareness. I often say a simple prayer, which is: “I surrender myself to your influence. Please cleanse and guide me so that I may better serve. Take from me or use me to do whatever is required to help others.” Be willing to pray for people that don’t have the faith to pray to a higher awareness themselves. A prayer is really just a heartfelt request sent out to whatever may be listening, the universe, or The One. A prayer can take many forms. I suggest that if your wish is purely selfish; expect the universe to reply by exposing you to your selfishness. Ask not “What can I have?” but “What can I give?” The universe will usually reply with the same intent energy of your prayer, and you will likely get what you were going to ask for if it will help you progress. If your prayer is “Give me this or that,” you will probably experience a loss, because universal influence will reply with “Give me this or that.” If your sincere prayer is “How may I serve you?” the universe will reply with “How may I serve you?” Total abundance is available to those willing to give everything, and total loss can befall those who live only through selfishness. The choice is, of course, yours — not even the creator can interfere with free will.
4/  Deeksha - The Oneness Experience. Getting your brain re-balanced through regular Oneness Deeksha’s (very powerful).

Resistance is suffering.

Hgfhf

Become Helpless

Prayers become stronger when you surrender into helplessness, not victimhood and self-pity, just the recognition that you do not have the solution yourself. Be specific, what, why, how and immediately focus on what the solution would feel like as if it had already happened. I find it interesting that people want the gift yet they do not believe in the giver.

When you are emotional, become helpless, by that I mean see your helplessness to actually do anything about it, and just experiences it without amplifying it or creating any more of it with imagination.

Desperation is completely different to helplessness. You need to know the difference between the two. Helplessness requires faith in humility as well as vulnerability. Desperation does not include vulnerability does not have association to humility or faith. Desperation is based on fear and need.

dsgfsdfg

Accept & Love Your Learning Experiences

There are no failures, only feedback. Everything is about learning. You cannot fail if you look at your results as feedback and use that feedback to tell you how to change your approach. You can only learn more; you can never learn less. Every experience in your life of every event, no matter what meaning you’ve applied to it already, is just a learning experience. The question should not be “Why did it happen?” It should be “What did I, or could I, learn from this event or experience that will serve me?” Every event should be looked at from an uplifting and supportive perspective. I don’t mean something like “What caused the pain this time? It was the relationship, so I will now avoid relationships because they cause me pain.” If you said instead “That relationship was painful. What can I learn about ‘my’ approach, motivations, behaviours, beliefs, and the rules that I displayed during that relationship, that will help me to have better relationships in the future, and thereby avoid creating the same kind of pain again, whilst still being my authentic self?” Which question will give you a better outcome? Lessons are inevitable and part of everyday life for everyone. Whether you choose to learn them now, or have them presented again in a more intense way later, is ultimately your choice. Being tested by your guides to see if you have truly learnt the lessons is also guaranteed.
Perhaps you have perceived from your experiences that you should never trust anyone. Perhaps the true lesson is that you should actually be more discerning about whom to trust, and to trust those you do trust even more. Learn to trust yourself more. The lack of external trust reflects your internal lack of self-trust. Often people need to trust others not to hurt them, because they do not trust themselves to be able to make the choices necessary to take care of themselves, and if necessary, leave the situation by choice. If they had self-respect and self-trust, they would feel able to withdraw on their own from disempowering situations and relationships if their treatment dropped below their true expectations. Therefore trust would not be as big an issue. If the lesson you decide to take from any event is disempowering, then the next event will have to be even more challenging in order to help you get the true lesson, whatever it may be. Learning experiences are needed, and part of every moment of your life — you cannot avoid them. 
Learn the lessons presented to avoid having them presented again in some other way. You cannot directly choose the lessons required on the path that your approach to life has chosen (although the law of attraction gives you some influence over what type of lesson you receive). However, you can choose to learn whatever lesson comes. Also, by learning in a self-supportive and uplifting way, you will be offered a higher-level learning experience next time. When it comes to any kind of interaction or relationship with other people, the learning must be first and foremost about you and your processes of perception. You can do nothing about anybody else. You cannot change them. They will only change if they are ready to. The only person’s perception, and by extension behaviour you have any chance of changing, is your own. Some people will not like what I’ve just said, because they prefer to blame others, or to try to change others using blame. You will never learn anything about how to feel truly happy through blame. Nothing! It will simply stop you learning about yourself from the experience, and guarantee that you have to go through a similar experience to learn what was being offered to you in the first place. Anything that happens in your world that is perceived as bad really only occurs to create positive change at some point in your life. You just need to find out what it is you need to learn about how you are perceiving from any experience that comes your way.
Do you think life is any different from learning a hobby or a trade? The fact is that everything you do well now you had to learn how to do. At first, you could not do it, or it was difficult. You had to do it repeatedly, taking the learning experiences you were offered and using them to adjust your approach in the direction you wanted to go. Eventually, you needed fewer lessons to become good at it. If you’d found the learning experience in every experience or event in your life, from an uplifting inspiring perspective, your ability to deal with life and find happiness would be far greater than it is now. Unfortunately, because of public identity, and the influences of the people in your life having probably all blamed others, or perhaps you, you probably do the same, and put much of your energy into, and focus onto, blaming others or events. Your thinking mind probably decided early on that if you make it someone else’s fault, you can avoid feeling bad about yourself. “Look what they are doing to me. Look how they’re making me feel.” 
Actually, by placing blame, you are taking away the true opportunity to find a solution to the problem. With blame, you have to wait for the other person to stop or change before you can feel different. People who blame rarely learn from their situations. They always seem to be struggling with the same issues repeatedly. This is not a surprise at all. As sure as waves splash onto the shore, these people will re-experience the lessons, in one form or another, until they learn them and change their approach to themselves, and life.  You can’t stop the waves, so why not become a surfer and enjoy them? 
Find the lesson, from a supportive, uplifting learning motivation and approach, in every experience and event. There is always one there. When you take responsibility for your own learning, the creative force that places these learning experiences in front of you can give you higher-level learning experiences to grow through. It’s like school. You move progressively through lessons and tests until you are ready to move to the next level of learning. Therefore, no matter what happens, say to yourself, “What can I learn from this experience that will improve my quality of perception and experiential life, or how can I use it in a way that will improve my quality of life and my treatment and perception of myself?” I trust by now that you have a new, desired approach, motivation and focus you would rather experience life through — hopefully something like “I want to feel good” — and you have made a commitment to do what it takes in each moment to feel this way. When you honour the challenges sent to you as they arrive, you will transcend them much faster. If you cannot immediately find the lesson in an experience, trust that the learning will become clear to you at some point in the future.

Don’t think the worst of a situation too quickly. Always look for the learning experience in everything by asking quality questions, and using uplifting, inspiring reasoning. You can find the gift in any moment.	

Be totally honest about yourself and your role in any situation, even if it is only with yourself. Find out what you could learn. Do not judge or punish yourself. Simply forgive yourself, accept yourself and the experience, and learn about yourself and your approaches from it, from an uplifting and supportive perspective. Anything you learn about others should only be applied to helping you become more aware of your own processes and patterns, not theirs. Do not get into blaming others or trying to change them, as you will not learn anything about yourself through this. As long as you learn something, the experience will not need to be repeated in the same way, and a new experience can be enjoyed. Want to change the lessons that are presented? Focus on situations in a different way by giving them uplifting and supportive meanings. New meanings will create different emotions to the ones you are used to creating on a regular basis. Your guides will experience what you’re telling them as new evidence for how you want to feel. They will then manifest situations in front of you that will allow you to create and sustain the new feelings. This will change the experience of your immediate life and attract higher-level learning experiences. Yes, it is actually that simple. Different approach, expectations and focus equal a different reality experience.
So-called failure is just as much a learning experience as perceived success. Failing (if that were possible) is just as much of a success in the long term, so nothing can ever be a failure. One result meets your needs straightaway (a perceived success), and the other meets your needs at a later date (perceived failure). Never be scared to learn through not succeeding the first time. Have the courage to make mistakes and take risks that you perceive as scary. They will actually reward you more than instant successes, because you will have learned something important to other parts of your life’s journey. They will serve you in the future as much as any instant success, if not more. Love the learning experiences no matter whether you perceive them as immediate successes, or successes that will be coming father down the road. If you fall down, you have not failed; so-called failure only happens if you don’t get up, and even then it would just become a different experience to go through, probably an uncomfortable one. Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly. 
Many people don’t pursue goals or interests because of a belief they won’t be able to do whatever it is perfectly the first time, or perhaps ever. They decide that if they cannot do whatever it is perfectly, then they can’t feel good about it. This will lead to self-abuse, so what could have been a great experience will turn into a bad experience. As a result, they don’t even start out. Virtually everyone sucks the first time they do something. Everything you do well now you probably once did poorly. Was it worth doing it poorly in the beginning? Dare to suck (be unskilful) at anything, and forget perfection. It is the lowest standard, because it cannot be reached consistently or often, if at all. Therefore it allows the excuse of not even trying. Forget practice makes perfect. Practice makes… for plenty of experience. 

Those who can, just do. Those who don’t believe they can, say it can’t be done and try to discourage others.	

Everything is hard until it is easy. Attempt - fail - learn - attempt again, and continue improving through experience until you become good at it. This is the way of learning. This process equally applies to learning to direct the mind effectively. People always have resources available to them, however, they often don’t use them, or just don’t see them, because of their expectations and focus. Remember this: your ultimate resource is resourcefulness. Always find a way — there is at least one, even if it is to do nothing and genuinely surrender your struggle. Ordinary things done consistently create extraordinary results. The things you do and the ways you act in your life that you don’t like, are the results of behaviours and patterns practised consistently. Confidence is really self-belief, and self-belief comes from facing challenges and then moving beyond their influence. Self-belief or confidence does not come from avoiding learning experiences, no matter what your fearful thinking mind tells you. Change most often comes through some form of challenge. Do you like surprises? I think most of you will say “yes”. However, I suggest what you really mean is that you like the surprises that you want. The surprises that you don’t want are referred to as problems. Why not just see them all as learning experiences?

True opportunity for change doesn’t come from managing to avoid something you’re not comfortable with, but from how you face it and grow beyond its influence.	

Many people believe that avoiding issues is the only way to avoid suffering. In fact, if you look back over your life, how long have you usually been able to avoid an issue before you actually had to face it, one way or another? Putting it off perhaps just caused more stress and suffering. Life does not work to help you avoid issues. Life presents them to you in order to give you learning experiences constantly. When you try to avoid fearful issues, you are displaying to your guides exactly what you need to learn the most: that you need more lessons related to facing your fears and challenges. We are here to grow, not to exist. As I said earlier, everything on this planet is either growing or dying. Which do you want to be? If you don’t start facing your fears and growing beyond them, at some point you may feel like you’re dying emotionally or mentally. When you recognise that everything you’re going through only becomes a hardship when you look at it in a disempowering or pessimistic way, you can start to decide if you want to look at something as a predicament, which has no obvious solution, or a challenge which includes an in-built learning experience. 
A predicament is usually a sequence of challenges and learning experiences that you have tried to avoid and which therefore have become stacked into what now feels like one issue. This can feel overwhelming because single choices will no longer resolve it, as it is made up of too many individual, often unrelated choices. When you pull the pile apart to identify each part of the predicament, you can then start looking at the individual learning experiences or opportunities to learn that are involved. When you take on each of these challenges individually, and receive the learning by identifying the most beneficial approach to resolving that particular part, the predicament eventually vanishes. Those particular lessons may not need to be re-experienced again in the same way. A predicament usually comes about because you tried to avoid making difficult choices and therefore ended up with what feels like too many choices to be made, which ends up feeling like no choices at all. There is no one answer to a predicament, so it must be dismantled. Separate it out into each area where an individual choice or determination can be made, identifying and making each choice required to move beyond it, so you get as much learning as you can. 
Life will support you in this process. Often just the willingness to face the fear may mean that you don’t have to face it. I remember a man who was afraid of walking under a ladder. He had to get to the bank one Friday evening and couldn’t miss his appointment. When he got to the bank, the only way to enter the bank was through the front door. The front door was in a small corner of the building, and someone had set up a ladder to do work on the building next door, and the only way to get to the bank was under the ladder. This man stood for a while, overcome by his fear. He turned around and started walking away. He then realised that not going to the bank would cause him problems and he was sick of being scared of walking under ladders. He stopped, stood for a moment, and decided he was not going to let this fear dominate him anymore. He headed straight back to confront the fear. 
As he approached, the workman got down off the ladder, took it down and smiled as he walked past. Just the man’s decision to face his fear was enough to get the learning and free him from the fear. Therefore he didn’t actually have to perform the actual deed for it to no longer be a problem. The fact that he was genuinely willing to face his fear resolved the challenge. From then on, he never allowed his fear of walking under a ladder to dominate him. In fact, he did other things he used to fear, because he no longer allowed himself to be controlled by fear. He learned that true opportunity for change comes from facing fears, not from trying to avoid them or hiding from them.

To live without learning is desolation.
      -- ‘Confucius’	

I am always a student, though what I learn from you is not of your choice, anymore than what you learn from me is of my choice. What I need to learn, not what you think I need to learn, is what will create change in me. We are all students, and we are all teachers, although very few people realise what they’re actually teaching on a regular basis. There are those who teach to fulfil a need, those who teach whilst learning, and those who teach just by being. Those who believe they know so much that they can only be teachers dramatically reduce their ability to learn and grow — guaranteed. Their perceived students will eventually surpass them. Being a constant teacher or coach is public identity manifesting. People with a need to be right (or not be perceived as wrong) are much hard to coach and learn slower than those who relinquish their public identity and their need to be perceived a certain way. The people who are willing to relinquish their attachment to how they are being perceived will always learn faster and progress quicker than public identity driven people.

Many people spend time and energy defending what they know instead of being open to learning what they don’t yet know, and surrendering their need to be right, or fear of being wrong.	

The opportunity for change is always with you, and always has been. It is inherent in your ability to reason and learn about yourself in an uplifting, supportive, and self-inspiring way. Always look for what you can learn about yourself in any situation. Find the learnings available to you, and embrace them. You will be repaid by them forever. Also be aware that there are two lessons I can learn from watching and listening to you: I can learn what to do, and what not to do. You can either be an example or a warning to others. You will be an example to those with a lower awareness than you, and a warning to those with higher awareness.

Every challenge of problem brings with it the opportunity to experience something greater.

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Reacting vs. Responding

When you are regularly reactive, you are never at peace and always at the mercy of external stimuli. If you are a stimulus-response mechanism, you’re at the mercy of anyone — you’re a victim waiting for a perpetrator. Reacting is usually an instinctive behaviour that happens before you’ve even thought about it. It usually comes from fear — stored perceptions of hurt and pain, subconscious conditioning, and habit. Once you have been triggered, you are no longer dealing with the stimulus that triggered you. You are now dealing with your own created emotions. When you are prone to react all the time, you put yourself in a position where you will possibly react in ways that will cause you to be embarrassed or feel bad about yourself. In fact, reaction can quite often create the situation that you don’t want. Public identity is involved in reaction. When you are reacting, you are just feeding the fear that causes you to react in the first place. It is all about a fearful meaning being applied to the stimulus, which is totally dependent on your individual perception. 
Reaction tends to create reaction in others, and people enter a reactive loop that causes them to say and do things that probably have nothing to do with the original subject matter. They might turn to personal attack to try to gain control. Reaction is more about defence than anything else. Defensiveness creates unconsciousness. Defensiveness often comes from assuming you know what someone else is thinking by projecting your assumptions onto them. It is an illusion — you are projecting what you would be thinking if you were them, nothing more. You end up fighting with your own perceptions, not theirs. You cannot know what another person is truly thinking, so your so-called insights can only be projected assumptions. When you need to defend yourself or your position, you are going to be prone to reaction. Unfortunately if you are prone to reaction, you’re really a victim — anybody can control how you feel simply by causing you to emotionally react in a way that supports their outcome.
Between the stimulus and the response, there is a space. In that space is our opportunity to choose our response. In our measured response lays our growth and our freedom. True response comes from balanced consideration of the stimulus and the perception. We are only responding when we have had time to evaluate all of the incoming information and/or reactions from others, and when we have allowed our mind to decide on a response that fits with the situation and how we want the situation to turn out. Unless there is an immediate physical threat, there is no need for a reaction. Response-ability is exactly what it says. It is your ability to respond in a way you consciously choose, and you must also be responsible for how you respond. 
Considered response has a far greater chance of getting a considered response than reacting does. Wait until you are ready to respond before you speak. Do not react or take a position you then need to defend. Refusing to allow events to be carried over to the next moment will empower you immensely and reduce the risk of reaction. Carrying events with you after they’ve finished and experiencing them as if they are still happening will cause you to be constantly on the edge of reactivity. I call this ‘residual effect’. The more you re-experience these moments, the more prone you are to react over anything. Retaliation is just an attempt to ease the internal measurement, judgement and criticism experienced over oneself.
Always do your best to hold your tongue until you have recovered from the initial emotional reaction, no matter how long that may take. Wait until you have considered what you’re going to say and are ready to deliver your response in a way that allows you to feel calm and confident in what you’re about to say. Even if the other person gets annoyed waiting for your response, take all the time you need, without using the silence to cause discomfort as a means of feeling in control. You will have seen many people, both in your life and certainly on television, who are clearly reacting to what someone has said or done. In doing so, they just opened themselves up to even more conflict, turmoil and suffering. They often end up being perceived in the very way they are trying to avoid. 
Always do your best to remove any emotionally derogatory words and tones from your dialogue. Once you can start consistently considering your responses and delivering them in this way, the quality of your relationships will soar, not only with others, but with yourself as well. 

Thinking creates reactions, consciousness creates responses.

dvcx 

5 - Life & Spiritual Matters

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Spirituality and Money

Money is not a good exchange for your experiences of life. True wealth is about experience and experiences. Money is just a measurement system for comparison, self-validation and self-importance. Those who don't have money often and use it as a measurement for self recrimination (putting ones 'self' down). those who have money use it as a way to satiate public identity. Neither will bring you happiness. If your personal worth is based on, or entangled with, your net worth, you are in trouble. Money is not the root of all evil, but the craving for, and attachment to it will cause you many, many problems and much suffering. Who is rich and who is poor? That totally depends on what you value the most. If you constantly focus on money, and you are not giving attention to balance in other parts of your life, then you are not growing, nor are you, nor can you be, truly successful. Whom do you consider to be poor? Some people scavenge for food because they do not have the ability to earn the money required to buy food or the resources to grow it, yet they are emotionally wealthy because of the connection they have with the people and the community around them. Others can be extremely financially wealthy but are scavenging for emotional scraps because they are emotionally poor. Many people want money because they don’t know a better way to seek happiness and they don't feel they are enough, or worthy of true happiness as they are. They buy into the illusion that the more money or fame I have, the more I am. The more net worth, the more personal worth. This is a complete illusion.
The problem with materialism is that it is all about external conditions, as are most attachments and cravings. If you are relying on external conditions alone to allow you to be happy, you will forever be suffering in this quest. I call this trap ‘conditional happiness’. When the conditions of your life conspire to allow you to feel happy, you are ok. When they don’t, you don’t experience happiness because you believe you cannot or do not allow yourself to. Real wealth and prosperity is the ability to feel happiness and peace regardless of external conditions. Be aware that everything you have is on loan to you. You are the temporary caretaker of everything you possess in the external world, including your physical body. There is nothing inherently wrong with being rich, but to truly understand how money and spirituality fit together, you first need to be totally aware that money is a ‘thing’. By that, I mean it is something that is outside of your internal world. It is merely a measurement of perceived value of other ‘things’. Other ‘things’ include cars, houses, property, status, position, situations or events, even looks and physical features. They are external to your inner perception. One of the things that money cannot buy is happiness. Therefore happiness cannot inherently come with money.

Happiness comes from within and not without. If you only seek happiness in external ways, you will certainly be without.	

One of the questions I often get asked in one variation or another is “If I have money or want money, does that mean I cannot be spiritual, enlightened or go to heaven?” Many people seem to believe they have to be poor to be spiritual or to be a good person. Perhaps that is a belief you are taught to hold in religious circles. However, there is nothing spiritual about a father being in torment because he cannot feed his children, or a mother suffering because there will not be enough food on the table for her family, or no diapers for her newborn child. There’s nothing spiritual about being unable to be clean and clothed in a way that allows you to, at the very least, feel physically good. There is nothing inherently spiritual about poverty. The spirituality comes from how you approach poverty or wealth. 
There is a parable in the Bible that says a rich man has as much chance of entering the gates of heaven as a camel has of passing through the eye of a needle. I believe this tale actually refers to the fact that most rich people suffer from so much craving, public identity, and lack of connection to universal awareness, that they experience constant struggle with themselves and the world in one way or another. As a result, they are unable to find the gates to the heaven within themselves. Fulfilment is an internal experience, and success is an external experience. You can be perceived as extremely successful, and feel no inner fulfilment. Public identity wants money because of how it believes you’ll be perceived by others, which influences how you believe you will be valued by them, and therefore yourself. Having a good quality of living, stuff and things can only help you be more comfortable in your external environment, not your internal world. Comfortable unhappiness and unfulfilled emptiness are not high levels of awareness, although these states seem to be commonly accepted in our day and age. Sadly, most people assume that to be rich is to be happy, which in most cases could not be farther from the truth.

People spend a great deal of money and time learning how to get rich, and spend little time and energy learning how to feel truly fulfilled.	

There is nothing wrong with having money as long as it is approached with the right awareness. Striving comes because of internal conflict, which causes struggle and therefore suffering. Money is like water in a stream. If it is flowing, it can stay pure, and when water flows away, more water enters to take its place. If it is contained or hoarded, however, and the outward flow is restricted or stopped, then the inward flow will also be restricted or stop at some point. That which has been held onto will become stagnant and eventually become poisonous (cause fear of loss, and therefore suffering), or it will simply evaporate (be taken away from you). The only way to start the flow again is to allow it to start flowing out to let something else come in to replace it. The best way to attract money is to give it away, with an expectation that more will come to replace it, but without the need for it to come, as that would be a craving. 
You must be very clear about this. This generosity must come from a place where you are happy to enjoy giving, with no expectation of a return. It is based on the law of abundance circulation. If your intent in giving is to receive, your gesture will not work (this is simply horse trading). It’s known as a poverty, scarcity, or starvation mindset. A scarcity or starvation expectation attracts the experience of scarcity and poverty, either financially or emotionally. Giving must come from a true desire to help and to serve, with no attention associated with cost or expected return. It is also more desirable if the money has been acquired through honourable means, although true giving is true giving. 
Renowned businessman and philanthropist Sir John Templeton once said, “I have never met anyone who gave away at least 10% of their income that was not rich.” You may say: they can give away 10% of their income because they are rich. Actually, in reality it invariably works the other way around. If you tithe (give away or gift) at least 10% of your income, with no attachment to that money, giving it with pleasure and letting it go immediately, you will attract a similar energy flow into your life. When you say to life “What do you require from me? Here let me give that to you”, life will say in return, “What do you require from me? Here let me give that to you.” Notice Sir John mentioned that the people who gave in this way were rich, which means giving away that 10% or more did not make them poor. In fact, no one who gives honestly and from the right place will ever be poor, unless they truly expect to be. 
The act of giving does not only refer to money, by the way. Money is just one kind of energy. Giving of yourself is the same as giving of your wealth or finance. However, if you have an abundance of money, do not try to avoid tithing by using other means. If you get pleasure from getting ‘things’, then you will likely live in fear of losing those ‘things’. This creates tension and therefore turmoil. If you are striving not to feel lack, you will always feel lack because you have a scarcity, or starvation approach. If you acquired something for fearful reasons, it will cause you to continue experiencing fear. This mentality or mindset is caused by expecting and thinking “I am broke, starving, in poverty, or going to be so, or I will be so if I stop striving and accumulating.” These concerns can have a financial, emotional or a physical focus, and perhaps all of them. 
You must cultivate an abundant mindset if you want to avoid turmoil and suffering from any sense of lack. Lack is an attitude and a mindset. It is not a reality unless you manifest it as one. Similarly, wealth is an approach, attitude or mindset. A wealthy person can lose all their money and get it back reasonably quickly, simply because they have the attitude of a person who expects to have money. At the same time, someone with a poverty mentality can win the lottery and end up being poor again, usually with much turmoil and suffering involved, because they do not believe that the money is deserved, deep down. 
There is a saying that if you collect up all the money in the world and distributed evenly amongst all the people, within 10 years, the distribution of money would be back to where it is now, simply because those who expect to be rich, and have an attitude and mentality to support it, will be rich, and those who expect to be poor, or have little, will end up with that experience, simply because they expect to, and have an attitude and mindset that supports their approach. A wealthy mentality brings with it a vibration that is more closely in harmony with wealth. The same goes for lack or poverty. These approaches carry a vibration that attract to them situations and circumstances that are in harmony, of a like nature, and experientially in tune with them. They also carry lessons that are needed at that level of awareness.
When you have an attachment to gaining or achieving something, whether you know it or not, it is based on an expectation that it will bring to you a certain ‘feeling’ when you get, or attain it. Therefore, you do not want the ‘things’ — riches, success, position, people, car, house etc. — you are after the ‘feeling’ that you believe will come with them. If you do not find the feeling you seek during the journey to attain these things or outcomes, then you will not get the feeling when you attain them. If you do get a feeling like that which you seek, it will usually be fleeting and based on approving feedback from your internal public identity or from others. If you do not get enough approval from yourself or others, then you will likely go in pursuit of something else to try to gain it another way, or through another pursuit. The truth is that you can have the feeling you seek in any moment, and without those ‘things’ or goals… if you are experiencing them from the right place. The potential for fulfilment is inside you and comes from experiencing what you already have available to you in a higher, more fulfilling way. 
You may also have a rule that you cannot experience that feeling without the thing you seek being present. This is not true. Relinquish your attachment to anything at all and you will suffer no craving. The feeling you are truly searching for is not in the attainment of things; it is in the experience of the moment, no matter what is in front of you. When you are open in this way, the events, situations or experiences you would like to have will come to you far more easily than if you chase and crave them. Things matter only to the needy, thinking mind. They are of the external physical world, which is not where your higher being and true happiness reside. True internal happiness has nothing to do with external things of any kind. Yes, things can give you new experiences, but if you’re attached to them, you will hold them too long and too tightly. The new experiences that could come to you will be unable to enter your experience of reality. Therefore, holding on causes loss, not abundance of experience, which is what you should be truly seeking. Seek experiences, not possessions, position or approval.
Trying to hold onto something so that you can keep it or re-experience it also does not work. It’s like having a craving for a particular kind of chocolate. You get a whole bar or packet of these chocolates because you have this craving. The first mouthful may taste fantastic; the second, nice; the fifth, not so fantastic. In fact, by the time you get to the eighth or tenth mouthful or even the end of the packet, trying to re-experience the enjoyment of those first few mouthfuls, has become futile. You’re probably even starting to feel pretty sick, with accompanying or building feelings of disgust. If you had eaten just that first mouthful, or a couple, and then savoured the enjoyment, you could have continued to feel good even if you had still craved a bit more. An alternative would be to share the rest with others, so they can experience it too. I’m not just talking about your chocolate. You can enjoy the experience you want by savouring it at the time and then also continue to feel fulfilled because you helped others to feel good as well. Best of all, you didn’t reach the point where you started to feel bad or disappointed with yourself. Feeling good and genuinely caring about yourself are far more important than fulfilling any craving or need. 
Hanging onto your cravings is like seeing a beautiful butterfly, being moved by its glory, and then catching it and putting it in a small box, so you can have that experience whenever you want. Soon the butterfly will wither to a shadow of its former self, and you will have destroyed the experience, simply because you tried to hold onto it too long. Let it enter your life, and let it leave. Every other energy, including money, should be treated with the same transience. Once you have experienced that strong initial enjoyment, move on or move it on. Then someone else can enjoy it, and there is space for something new to take its place in your reality, as it surely will, and whatever it is will have been sent to help you grow. 
Whatever is flowing out of you will be attracted to you, including money. By that, I don’t mean spend your money in shops in the belief that spending it will attract more of it. It must go somewhere beyond yourself, a contribution, and not be for your own self-involved ends. To be able to let go of anything easily requires you to have no attachment to it. Just experience whatever it is whilst it is there, so there is no craving or attachment, and therefore no suffering. Everything can flow into and out of your life. You will be amazed by what creation provides to you when you are open to this flow. This is the real secret to a full life experience.
There are some conditions to being comfortably wealthy long term. Enjoy what you have whilst you have it, and then when it is time for it to go, let it go. Do not be attached. See yourself as the temporary trustee of your possessions, associations and situations. Do not be the owner of them, or they will bring you turmoil and suffering. Ownership causes discomfort through fear of loss, which lasts longer than the pleasure received from these things, which includes people. You cannot have true pleasure from anything as long as you fear over its possible loss. The more things you are attached to, the more you have to lose. The more things you let go of, the more room there is for a new experience to flow to you and take the place of the old ones. 
Becoming wealthy and successful is partly due to a reasonably high level of thinking and reasoning in an optimistic direction. This means that in part your mind thinks in a way that attracts these things into your life. Being rich can actually be a spiritual experience if you approach it with an awareness of how universal influence and flow works. Some achievers may latch onto this statement and say, “Hey, I’m rich. Therefore I must be awakened or have a very high level of awareness.” Unfortunately, this projection is just public identity using the information to make itself feel good. Wealthy and/or successful people tend to have a much stronger public identity than others. Public identity loves money as tangible evidence of its accomplishments. If your public identity is attached to your position, reputation or status (which it will be because that is what will have created the attachment to it in the first place), you will suffer. 
Perhaps universal influence has allowed you to become wealthy so you can learn how to be happy from the brief good feelings wealth brings. If you do not learn the lessons required, your wealth may be taken from you as another way to help you learn. Owning fewer things may in fact bring you more happiness, and will certainly generate less fear and stress in you. Money is not the problem. The problem is the approach and attitude towards money, and the lack of awareness about it, and trying to use money to fill your internal gap. Trying to fill this gap with external achievements will just cause you more turmoil because nothing outside of you can resolve the real internal challenge. Only true self-acceptance and surrender can heal your pain and internal conflict. Otherwise, you will spend the rest of your life trying to fill this gap with external attachments.
The world would be a better place if there were more truly spiritual rich people. Unfortunately, many spiritual people try to stay away from money because they believe it to be detrimental to their spiritual path. There is nothing wrong with being rich as long as it does not rule your life and cause you to be fearful through attachment. Use your money to help serve others, and not just yourself. Serve others and let creation serve you. Money is just a form of energy. If it is used for good, it will bring about good. If it is used for selfish reasons, it will bring about selfishness and fear. Eventually it will probably be taken from you. I often hear people say that they want money to be able to give it away or contribute. If they understood about true contribution, they would already have money, because they would already be giving whatever they had to give. 
The thinking mind is fooling them. They want to attract money to meet their needs first, and then, if they have some spare, then they will share it. They have it the wrong way around. Contribute what you have, give what you seek — money is only one form of contribution — and then you may start attracting the things you want into your life. See the flow of things and experiences in and out of you life as if you are simply watching a river. What was in front of you a moment ago has moved on and will be replaced by something just as beautiful. In life, it is about what each association or experience can teach you about self-acceptance, surrender, and non-attachment that matters. Everyone already has wealth, and it is usually based on what is most important to them. Even if you are a victim and therefore abundant in your conflict and suffering, and you feel safe being so, then you are wealthy in this pursuit. What will you have to become to achieve your goals, and will you like yourself when you get there?

Be careful which ladder you climb. You may reach the top and find that it was propped against the wrong wall.	

If you feel successful, you are successful. If you do not feel successful, then it doesn’t matter what you achieve, you will always be striving for more — probably by indulging in all the personal development processes available to you to try to fix yourself, or find ways and directions to drive yourself harder and more efficiently. You will not find the underlying feeling you’re seeking or the outcome you desire if you cannot experience it in the journey towards that outcome.

The happiest people we know do not have the best of everything, they just make the best of what they have the happiest do not have the most and they are the ones who are attached to the least.

If a fly lands on you, do you say it is your fly? Why would you think that money is or anything else physical?

It's not what you have or who you are, but what you are, and if you are at peace internally, you already have everything.

Almost all external pursuits are disguised distractions to stop you experiencing your true perception of yourself.

As you add more money the wheel, the trap, just gets bigger.

If you're only person purpose is to make money and/or become successful or famous, your life is empty.

hghgvg

Can You Find The Feeling In The Journey
People think that for the most part when they achieve their goals, they will get what they think comes with that success. Most people don’t really enjoy the process of achieving those goals. They assume that once they achieve them, then they can enjoy their success. This belief is a thinking-mind process and ultimately an illusion. What you are looking for will not be at the end of the rainbow unless it is experienced in the journey towards it. The problem with the thinking mind is that it bypasses two very important stages of the attainment for enjoyment cycle. The cycle should be: Have an idea --> Decide to make it a goal --> Plan how to achieve that goal --> Put the plan into action and do what is required to achieve the goal --> Let any attachment to the outcome go and allow creation to help manifest whatever you have set in motion --> Receive and accept whatever creation rewards you with as the outcome --> Celebrate and feel happy! 
Unfortunately, people go through this process, starting with an idea, and stay attached to the outcome. The thinking mind, through its need for certainty, convinces them that they need to be in control of the process every step of the way or they won’t be successful. They try to constantly control what is happening until they reach the end the cycle and hopefully achieve their goal. They then go straight to either finding or implementing another idea, and miss out on the part of the cycle that involves surrendering to universal influence. They also miss out the last part of the cycle, celebration, which is the most important part, the part that would give them the sense of achievement or fulfilment they are looking for. Unfortunately, the feeling they’re looking for does not reside within the thinking mind. The best they can feel when they miss out on this part of the cycle is satisfaction, and in reality they would probably just experience a longer sense of satisfaction and no real happiness, because they are so associated with thought. 
Worse still, their attachment solely to the outcome they want usually causes them continual stress. The absence of real enjoyment at the end of the journey then causes them to jump straight into chasing another goal immediately. They didn’t get what they thought they would get from the last goal, so they try again and assume they need more or better. The thinking mind reinforces this attitude on purpose so it can keep control of you and keep you trapped in thinking. Quite often, people have multiple goals running at the same time. As long as you are chasing something, you will be craving it, and therefore suffering in some form, and it has control over you. You have to recognise that ultimately the attainment is never about achieving your goal. It is all about the journey, which is a moment-by-moment experience. If you are distracted by attempts to control the outcome, then you are missing the gifts and experiences available on the journey, which is all there is to experience.
School, society, friends and family tend to tell us, or at least heavily imply, that once we get somewhere (wherever that might be for each of us, and possibly wherever they told us it would be), then we will have earned the right to be happy and enjoy ourselves, but not really before, i.e. when you retire you can then enjoy yourself and do what you want. That mythical place almost always has something to do with a public identity outcome. You believe that being perceived in a certain way by others will make you or allow you to be happy. Meanwhile, we only have This Present Moment to live in. Doesn’t it make sense, then, that only the journey — the succession of present moments — can hold the experience of happiness? The journey towards whatever goals you have set is all you have. As an example, your thinking mind may tell you that you may need a particular house. However, if you do not experience the feeling you would get from having that house, during the journey to get the house, then getting it will not give you the feeling you expected. 
If you can fully experience the feeling you’re looking for in the journey towards getting it, then you will no longer need to get the house. Your goals should, and probably will, change and move before you even reach them. Sadly, many people set their possibility of being happy on a moving target somewhere out in the future, which they will probably never experience, because they can’t be happy now, on the journey. So where is the opportunity to be happy if you can never get to what you want? There is no real opportunity at all in this scenario, because of the rules you have set or inherited from others about its attainment. The rule that you can only feel good when you achieve your goal is flawed, and it will cause you suffering. Unless your goal is to feel great in every moment, you will regularly feel restless and dissatisfied. If your goal is to feel great no matter what the journey or destination is, then it opens up far more experiential possibilities for your life’s journey.
Many people put their attention on future goals because they are not happy now. They don’t know how to be, so they try to schedule or hope for happiness in the future. They believe present happiness is not available to them so they pursue the illusion of future happiness. You can only be happy now, in this moment, because that is all that actually exists for us. They think if they can find their purpose, they can guarantee that they will eventually be happy, and not waste any more time. Goals are something we should simply use to occupy the thinking mind, and give it something to work on and towards. Goals should always be totally flexible, so that if the feeling you want to experience during the journey starts to dissipate, then you can modify the goal in a direction that brings back the feeling you want to experience in each moment of the journey. The present moment is the only time you can ever feel good — never waste it.
 Enjoy the experience of the journey, not the reaching of the goal. In fact, the goal should always be a moving target to give you motivation to continue enjoying the journey and the growth that comes from that experience. Being present with a high level emotional approach the whole way through the journey will bring you all the feelings you are looking for. It is very important that you do now whatever gives you the feelings you want now, so that you have no need to put them off until you attain your goal in the future. If there is a lot you would like to achieve in your life, give your thinking mind a goal and schedule some time to plan the processes you think you need to go through to achieve that goal. Do all the planning you think needs to be done in the time you have allocated, and then let go and step away from your attachment. Consciously make the choices presented to you in each moment and let universal influence provide your outcome, and just enjoy the journey. If you don’t feel good during the journey, you have a poor quality of life. If that’s the case, the feeling you are looking for will not be in the outcome, even if you achieve your goal.
Are you postponing your happiness for another day? That cannot work. If you expect tomorrow to bring you happiness, then every day you will be waiting for tomorrow. Be happy and at peace today. In fact, be happy right now. Make a decision about how you do want to feel, and then do what you need to do to be happy in this moment. Focus only on what gives you happy feelings now!

It is the experiences you want and not the money, but what's the point of new experiences when you don't experience them because you are someone asked an imaginary time looking at something as you think you need to experience.

sdfdf	Bxvbb

Relationships

We find the most pleasure and fulfilment, and by far the most opportunity for growth, in our relationships. Having a life with no relationships would be like eating with no food. The founder of The Oneness University, Bhagavan, teaches that relationships are life. I believe we are hardwired to form relationships and that they are the key to our ascension to higher levels of awareness. Relationships are certainly the key to higher levels of interaction in the external world, and the evidence of what we need to look at in the internal world. They are also the key to learning how to interact with ourselves better. Valuing others and allowing yourself to be valued by them is a part of the path to awakening. A lot of you may not like hearing the following statements, but they must be done in order to have outstanding relationships and in order to awaken:
 	Forgive YOURSELF.
 	Forgive your Parents.
 	Forgive your Siblings.
 	Forgive your Competitors, Adversaries, Nemeses or Enemies.
 	Forgive YOURSELF. (I said it again, because it is so important.)
Feel more caring and compassion for yourself and others. We are often conditioned to be nice only to those who treat us well. However, if we were nice even to those who didn’t treat us well, not only would we help them and open up possible lines of supportive communication, we would also feel better about ourselves. The quality of our relationships with everyone, including ourselves, would soar to new levels. We would also end up having far more relationships in our lives.
If you are struggling in business, more than likely it is because you have had a challenging relationship with, or over, your father. Reasons might include issues about not knowing him, not having one, or the fact that he may have left at an early age, or not been the kind of father you wanted. If you are having trouble with relationships in general, it is probably because you have had a challenging relationship with, or over, your mother, for one reason or another. Resolving these relationships, either with the person involved or within yourself, so that you can let these issues go, will drastically improve the relationships you are experiencing now, and those in the future. Go to these people, either in person if you can, or in your mind if you cannot truly access them physically, and forgive them. Then ask in turn for their forgiveness for any of your indiscretions or for judging them harshly in your memories and perceptions. If you truly can’t do it now, make a note to do it as soon you have stopped indulging your old internal drama around it. You have no idea how empowering this experience will be for you if you do it openly and honestly. 
I have experienced this change in myself, and I have seen it happen in many, many people. Situations they believed had nothing to do with their relationship with either parent drastically changed, virtually as soon as they resolved these relationships, either in person, or within themselves (simply because the other person was not alive or present to interact with directly). Resolving any relationship of any kind that is causing you discomfort will have a drastic impact not only on your external life, but on your relationship with yourself as well, which is the most important relationship you will ever have, or will ever have to deal with! Unfortunately, because of the thinking mind, relationships in general are usually fairly painful, or at the bare minimum uncomfortable. They really do not have to be this way.
You cannot avoid pain by avoiding relationships. They are the key to change. Subconsciously we know we are designed to be connected and are tribal. Therefore, when we feel disconnected and crave connection, we turn to others. One great benefit of romantic relationships is that a challenging partner can inspire awareness about yourself and your processes just by being themselves, and not from a therapeutic or teaching perspective (as this does not work in relationships). Your ideal partner is the one who triggers you to the biggest change through you coming face to face with your own need to control or whatever vehicle you use to meet your needs. They can help to open you to awareness about the emotions you generate that give you your experience of reality. 
To all the counsellors out there: I don’t mean someone who therapises (yes, it’s my own word) their partner to experience the biggest change; I mean someone who pushes your buttons in a way that gives you awareness of the things you need to accept about yourself. Or if it is about behaviour, how to choose a perceived higher-level behaviour to meet your needs. Relationships do not cause unhappiness and pain. Your internal unhappiness, pain and insecurity just manifest in your relationships. Your pain comes from within you, not from them. It’s your stuff that has been triggered which causes you to measure, judge and criticize yourself, it’s not theirs. Even if their stuff triggers you, there is an opportunity to find a great gift in every interaction. 
If someone triggers you into emotional pain, they’re helping you. Look for the gift they have brought to you in the form of a possible awareness about yourself, your approach or your behaviour, so you can become aware of it, accept it, and transcend it. This is one reason that avoiding relationships or personal interactions does not change your ability to be happy. You’re only avoiding the pain in you when you avoid relationships. That means the suffering that can be resolved through relationships stays with you, because you will encounter fewer triggers to help you gain awareness of yourself in this area. You will still have those triggers and challenges if you enter another relationship, and you probably will, whether you like it or not. Life is about learning, not hiding, and universal influence will not let you hide for long. The person who can expose your pain to you is a gift. A string of so-called failed relationships, where you learn something about yourself, your motivations and your approach each time, is more likely to bring you closer to being able to be truly happy than many years avoiding relationships or becoming a recluse.
You cannot force others to use different behaviours to avoid triggering you. You can, however, influence them to want to adopt higher-level behaviours by your own uplifting example. You can only ever ‘inspire’ other people, or yourself, to change. You cannot get others to change. Change must occur because they are ready for it and are ready to accept it. Do you enter relationships just to have your own needs fulfilled? Be totally open to the pleasure of helping to fulfil another’s needs and experiencing them as happy. Many people enter relationships to get their needs met, and therefore approach them with an ‘if-then’ mentality. This is known as prostitution, bartering or horse-trading. Perhaps you don’t solely look for returns at the beginning, when the most effort is being put in to please the other. However, as the relationship progresses and the novelty, newness  and effort wears off, this bartering can kick in. If your relationship becomes a bartering relationship — “you give me what I want, and I will give you what you want” (which unfortunately usually means “give me what I want ‘first’, and then if it’s enough, I will think about giving you what you want”) — it then becomes about rewards. Getting back as much or more than you are putting in, usually more. 
This is a scarcity or starvation mindset. It is the lowest level of what, for that reason, I will loosely call a ‘romantic’ relationship. An abundant mindset in a relationship is to give anyway, to continue to do your best to enhance the pleasure for your partner, and add value regardless of returns. If you can do this without measuring or expecting anything in return, whilst still honouring yourself, and without doing anything truly detrimental to yourself, you will have a much higher quality of relationships. Unfortunately, relationships nowadays are more about attachment, projection and ownership than they are about sharing, caring and loving, compassionate support.
Jealousy is fear and self-doubt projected externally in a relationship. It can appear as possessiveness, control of how someone looks or acts, attempts to select their friends, associates, or work environment. It can also appear in milder forms, such as feeling fear when imagining what your partner is doing when not in your company, or feeling distressed or angry when they are talking to someone of the opposite sex (or even the same sex if they can be perceived as a threat). This doubt will destroy a relationship and will just push the other person away, possibly upholding your self-fulfilling prophecy about being abandoned. “They will leave me anyway at some point. I just need to see the signs that will alert me so I can leave first, and hopefully avoid rejection.” This behaviour is based on low self-worth and lack of belief for oneself — possibly the belief that you are not good enough for them to want to stay with once they get to know you. Such beliefs will cause you to drive them away with your jealousy and fear, even if they wanted to stay with you in the first place. Then your fearfully conditioned thinking mind can say, “See, I was right. They left me.” You will have stayed true to your low expectations of your core identity in this area. Indulging in these behaviours just feeds the problem, because thinking fear breeds more thinking fear. Fearful imagination breads fearful imagination. 
Whenever you feel this kind of behaviour manifesting, focus instead on what you could do to please this person and let go of your disempowering fantasies. Suppose they ring you from a nightclub, bar or coffeehouse to tell you they’re going to be late. If you abuse or reprimand them for not coming home, you have missed the point — they are probably calling because they care enough to let you know. Secondly, you reduce the chance that they will call again in a similar situation, because they know they will probably be criticised or bullied. Why would they call? Would you, if you knew you would get earache? Few people actually like being told off or criticised. It’s crazy to assume you will get any other response over time. This mentality of course applies to family members as well. Inspire people to want to be with you with loving, caring, supportive acts, higher reasoning, and compassion. People want to be with people who care about them, just like you do, not people who want to criticise, harness or control them. They don’t want to be with people who bully them into submission to try to avoid their own fears. Ask yourself the question “How would this person’s best friend treat them?” The answer may give you a clue as to why they are their best friend, and what to do to become their best friend. This will certainly help you understand how to support them in feeling good, which in turn will cause you to feel good. It will also help to build the belief that you are worth being with. 
You must understand that just loving someone is not enough. They must feel and experience your love. Expressing your love consistently in a relationship, not only with words, but with your actions, so that your partner not only hears your love, but feels and experiences it, is very important! The same applies to how you treat your children. I’m sure as a child that I was loved. I don’t remember experiencing the feeling of being loved, but I know that I was. I must have been, because I survived. I do not say that to place blame on anyone. I know my parents loved me because I see the evidence now that I am an adult, and I now have memories of the things they did to try to show that to me. If you survived, you must have been loved, at least to the level that your parent, parents or carer could experience love themselves, or you would not have survived. 
We cannot really survive on our own until we have perhaps 7 to 10 years of life experience. If you were not loved, or at least cared about at some point, you would have been left to die. Even if that love came from someone besides your natural parents (because they were not in your life or simply could not show it), I know you were cared about by someone. If you don’t think so, look with expectation, and you will see it too. If your earliest memories are of abuse, you still had to reach that age where you could remember. Therefore, someone looked after you. I believe we must have love at some point in our formative years to survive. Otherwise, the absence creates a condition that scientists call ‘failure to thrive’, meaning we give up the fight for life, and simply die. We remember life as we remember it, and quite often that does not have a lot to do with the reality of our life situation, because that is based on our perception only. Just the lack of being able to experience the love that was available to us can be all it takes to experience life from a very painful perspective. This will create the illusion of no memories of love. 
I believe parents have a responsibility to make sure their children experience their love. I say this to educate; I do not say this to blame anyone. That way, children do not grow up without having truly experienced love. From my own, new perspective, I believe that it is more important that I experienced love than just the fact that I was loved. Make sure your partner and your children experience your love for them at every opportunity. That also goes for making sure you experience your love for yourself by being loving towards yourself at every opportunity. Is it more important for you to be perceived as right, or for you to be caring? 
Now, you may be asking, “What is a high-level relationship?” People can experience a very high level of connection with each other when there are no grudges held, no carryover from one minute to the next of any tension, challenge or disagreement (which are usually just some form of rule violation, or power struggle due to fear manifesting). In high-level relationships, both people feel free to be totally authentic, with no judgement from the other person. Both are affectionate, supportive, trusting, loving, honest, open, and willing to grow. When both partners have an approach like this to a relationship, nothing can compare. People who have this kind of approach to each other will of course be the best of friends. True friendship allows freedom in a relationship for people to truly be themselves.

A friend may be reckoned a masterpiece of nature.
      -- ‘Ralph Waldo Emerson’	

For a relationship to succeed, two people need to have a similar nature. If you say it’s green and they says it’s orange (and I don’t mean from an argumentative approach), and you ask why can’t you see that it’s green, and they say it’s obviously orange, you will never fully connect (and are probably both very attached to your beliefs and perceptions). I’ll explain what I mean. If one person supports Green Peace and the other believes in whaling or netting tuna, or killing animals to make clothes, jewellery or medicines, they have different natures. If one person is romantic and affectionate and the other prefers solitude and is uncomfortable with affection, they have different natures. If one loves socialising and mixing with people and wants to be out and about all the time, and the other likes being alone and staying in, they have different natures. If one believes in total honesty and integrity and the other is comfortable not telling the truth, or manipulating situations through dishonesty to others to suit themselves, they have different natures. Anyone who needs to change the nature of another person in order to experience happiness with them has a problem. You cannot change another person, and you cannot change your own true nature. You can change your habits, which are conditioned behaviours, and behaviours are usually a result of the quality of thought, but you cannot change your underlying nature. It was programmed into you from the beginning. You can only accept it, or suffer in your struggle to change it. When we came into this world, we came in under certain energies, commonly known as star signs. We also had a predisposition for certain traits that we inherited from our two DNA contributors. These programs cannot really be changed. We may be able to override them for short periods of time, but doing so will create struggle and suffering. Accepting your true nature, and yourself, is the only way to peace. I do not mean accepting that you are bad or damaged. This perception is not true and is a result of your thinking — nothing more, in my humble opinion.
If you wish to find an ideal partner, you need to have the same natures, similar aspirations and expectations of life and yourselves. If you both love physical exercise, training and eating healthily, you have a far greater chance of actually being happy and comfortable together than if one partner is lazy and overeats all the time. Everybody has the right to their own nature, and everybody has the right to stay in alignment with their own nature. Trying to change someone to align with your nature/character will cause you both to be unhappy in the long run, as will trying to change your nature/character to keep someone. Accept people for who they are. If you don’t like how you perceive them to be, either change your perception of them by using a different approach to them and focussing in the new way, or don’t be with them. You will waste your life trying to change them, or anyone else. It’s already impossible, and it becomes even more so if you have a vested interest in changing someone, like family and close associations. If you have a reason to benefit from their change, they are even less likely to change their habits or behaviours around you. You cannot change or help to change anyone, no matter how much training or knowledge you have, unless they want to change for themselves, for their own reasons, and only if they actually ask for your help. If they appear to change for you, it is probably their public identity trying to make them acceptable to you, and that will not last, and it will also foster resentment and suffering for them.
It is important to be aware that you also cannot understand another person. You can only make assumptions about what it’s like for them, or what it’s like to be them, or what they are thinking. That is all based on your perceptions, which are then projected onto them. Your perceptions and assumptions are always based on how you would be feeling, thinking, or perceiving if you were in their position, which you are not. They are not you, and you are not them.  You have not lived their life, so there is no way you can understand them or how they truly experience anything. You can guess, and sometimes be correct, but your accuracy is not because you understood them. It is because in that moment your projected assumptions and their reality happened to be aligned enough for you to perceive yourself to be right. That is more about luck than skill, and how would you know that had happened anyway? Only the other person can know for sure and they may be lying to conform if they tell you that you were right. You would never know, only they would. You could only ever make assumptions, and those assumptions can only be based on your perception. Sometimes people believe they have the ability to read minds because they think they understand people and their thinking intimately. They also believe they have a superior level of thought because their public identity fools them into believing this is so. The illusion of being able to read minds is a dangerous one. Any assumption about the perceptions of someone else and what they are thinking is pointless. The assumption that it is possible, however, is the cause of much relationship turmoil. 
Understanding is the thinking mind’s way of evaluating threat and gaining certainty. The public identity allows you to feel a sense of power and control if you believe you know what is going on with others. In reality, your guesses are based purely on assumption and just your illusion. Your understanding can only be right for you, because it is only about you. How do you escape the illusion? Experience each other instead of trying to understand each other. Accept your partner, or anyone else, for the way they are. Look for what you can enjoy about them, and enjoy being in their company. You will improve your chances of happiness and fulfilment with your partner if you stop trying to know them and just experience them. Then you will both be free to be who you are, and you will experience your own self-acceptance much faster.
Imagine you were seeing your partner for the first time every day. Pretend you have no past, or that the past is made up of only the good memories. The past is the past, which means it has gone, never to return unless you regurgitate it. The future has not come yet, so don’t go there to imagine it. Be in the moment and experience it fully. Then there will be nothing to cloud your perception of them. What if you were constantly looking for what you could like and love about them in every new moment instead of noticing or looking for what you don’t like, what causes you to feel uncomfortable, scared, annoyed or what you would like to change about them. See them as perfect already. Do you think your relationship would go to a slightly different level if you did this? I suggest your relationship would be transformed. How would you like it if somebody close to you approached you in this way? Do you think such caring treatment would help to raise your self-esteem, self-belief and confidence? It would be transformative for you, so why not recognise the benefit in this and be the first one to send out or indulge in this kind of energy. What if you approached your family and friends with the same energy and attitude? Do you think all of your relationships would be transformed? Your quality of life would soar. You attract what you give out, so make this new approach a reality by choice rather than waiting for luck. Luck is something you create through your approach, intent and motivations. Luck manifests when intent, expectation & opportunity collide/combine.
Learn to practise voicing how you feel with no blame attached. Also learn to practise listening to your partner without blame, and be open to hearing what they are actually trying to say. Hear that they are only voicing their perception of whatever they’re talking about, as that is all they can do anyway, and it is not personal. Practise taking no position in any interaction and you will stop judging them in the same way. Trust is very important in a relationship. If you are untrustworthy, how can you possibly perceive your partner as trustworthy? Here’s an example to illustrate this point. A boy and a girl are playing together in a park. The girl has a pocket full of sweets and the boy has a pocket full of shells that he brought back from his trip to the beach. The girl says, “I’ll give you all my sweets if you give me all your shells.” So the boy reaches into his pocket, pulls out all the shells and hands them to the girl. The girl reaches into her pocket and pulls out most of the sweets. However, she keeps a couple back for herself for later. The boy wanders off totally happy and enjoys his sweets. He eventually goes to bed and has a good night sleep, because his own trustworthiness allows him to experience trust for others. 
As soon as the boy has left, the girl starts to feel disappointed and stops enjoying the shells because she is wondering if the boy has also kept some shells back for himself, as she did with the sweets. The girl spends the rest of the day worrying if the boy was not honest with her, and that night does not sleep very well. The problem is that the girl was not honest, so her thinking mind can only assume that the boy was dishonest also, because we assume others think like we do. Instead of enjoying the spoils of the exchange, the girl did not enjoy them at all. The boy was able to be happy, with no thoughts of dishonesty because he had been honest, so he could easily assume that the girl had been honest also.
People often ask me, “Why am I attracted to one person and not another?” For me, the answer is quite simple. They are perfect for teaching you the lessons that you need to learn without knowing this themselves. Some people say attraction is just physical chemistry. I believe higher design and universal influence stimulate the chemistry of attraction. This person is the perfect partner to help you to learn about yourself at that time, and evolve further through the experience. When you can look back with higher reasoning, you will see that the lessons you learned in previous relationships are the ones that helped you progress in awareness. They bring the potential to improve the quality of your future relationships by being learning experiences, and bring with them the opportunities for experiencing more happiness, even if they show you what you no longer want or how you no longer want to behave. It may not seem like that at times, but eventually you will see this to be true.
The relationships that you saw modelled in the past by your significant adults or carers are the types of relationship you are most likely to be attracted to, or to create. Whether you realise it or not, you subconsciously expect relationships to mirror the models you were given, even if they were argument-ridden power struggles (because you get what you truly expect). You will feel subconsciously safer if yours are similar, even if they cause you unhappiness. Break this pattern through awareness of this dynamic cycle. I believe that one of the purposes of relationships, in our day and age at least, is to help you find out what you can’t see about yourself, your motivations and approaches that holds you back, and to help you recognise the thinking that is causing you conflict and emotional pain, so you can eventually be truly happy. They are not going to make you happy because you are in one. Always attempt to be open and honest, with yourself at the very least. 

Your children will learn to relate to others in the same way you relate to them and others. Are you honestly happy with what you’re teaching them?	

How would your child, partner or friends describe you, honestly? Indifferent, selfish, bullying, controlling, demanding, intolerant and wrapped up in your own little world? Or do you honestly think they would say you’re an understanding, friendly, supportive, attentive, open, non-judgemental, patient, loving, caring, compassionate parent, partner or friend, who genuinely listens and engages with them? Answer this question honestly with yourself, so that you can see how you could perhaps change your approach to the people you care about and interact with. If you can move, by conscious choice, towards the second list of traits, you will feel far better about yourself more often. When you change your approach in your relationships with your children, you change the quality of their perception of themselves and the quality of the life that will be coming their way. When you change your approach in your relationships with others, you allow them to be more happy and comfortable in your company. Being at ease with yourself can only help you feel better about them, yourself, and your experience of reality. If, of course, you find these changes a challenge, still forgive yourself. Give up the struggle over it, and accept yourself. Know that you are doing the best you can. You are still immensely loveable, and an important and valid part of Creation.

Because the TM is primarily a pain avoidance mechanism, we gravitate towards what we believe to be the safest relationships with others. It’s up to you to consciously decide if you want to continue doing this or if you want to try a relationship with someone you perceive to be at a higher level, a scary relationship so you give yourself a better chance to experience growth rather than avoidance.

The two words to be aware of in any interaction, including with yourself, are Be Kind. Repeat it consistently and condition it into your approach by using it as a Mantra or incantation.

Relationships -- if someone was something else is more important than your intimate partner, there is either trouble on the way or already there.

Many, if not most relationships, are merely emotional and often physical transactions.

As they say in India, you are basically walking around with an empty bucket that has a hole in it, begging for a drink from someone else that has an empty bucket with a hole in it.

jhgj

What Is Life Really About?

At a very young age, I remember asking myself the questions “Who am I really?” “Why am I here?” and “What is the point of it all?” Although I wasn’t really aware of a higher purpose at the time, I knew I was more than this body and this thinking awareness of this body. I often get asked now what I believe is the purpose of life. I get asked this question so often, in fact, that I decided to include my answer here. 
Go backwards in time from now, and we come to a time of nothing, when there was no universe. Something was created out of nothing. Pure logic tells us something must have created our universe, or brought that creation about — something outside of our perception of this universe and time. Everything that has ever been created has or had a purpose. Therefore, some form of intelligence has an influence over this reality, and I suggest that life has a meaning and purpose far beyond our ability to truly perceive it. Even the most highly aware amongst us are only the most highly aware at this level of awareness.
So think about this: What if this physical experience that we are going through is a way for ‘The One’ or ‘Creation’ to expand its knowledge, to learn? By The One, I mean the entity commonly know as the creator, or the source of creation, the one often called God, and also known by many other names. As for where all matter first came from or how this physical existence started, I have no provable concept, nor do I actually need to know. I believe we started off at the lowest level of awareness, and our ultimate purpose is to continue our journey, raising our awareness through learning experiences at all levels, raising our vibration in each evolution, until we eventually return to The One completely. That theory implies that all our many other lives, and this life, are going to be a series of unique lessons that allow us to move forward, raising our level of awareness and vibration until eventually we no longer need a physical form. We will then move to the next level of energy or vibration to experience that level. Each of us experiences our life’s journey in a unique way, different from any other entity’s experience. Therefore, The One gets to experience and assimilate every different experience from every single soul or extended part of itself.
Free will gives you freedom to choose, so it is up to you what lessons you attract — whether you choose to learn them, or require them to be presented in a different way until you do learn them. You can also choose whether you learn gladly or through suffering, through pain or through choice. If you choose to learn through suffering, you will resist every lesson or fight against change constantly. If you choose to allow change in your life, surrendering to each lesson that comes your way and learning from every event, situation or interaction, you will learn through the acceptance of self, and acceptance of the flow of life. I believe that creation cannot interfere with free-will, so the choice is definitely yours, whether you enjoy change, or require situations to be forced on you to create that change. You cannot avoid change, so the sooner you embrace it, the sooner you can enjoy the changes that come, and help to influence their design.
What if free-will was added to existence as an element of chaos/randomness in order to give The One the opportunity for insights that were not expected at the beginning of creation? Changing the awareness you have, requires an addition of awareness that comes from somewhere other than the level of awareness seeking change. Or it requires the addition of an element that disrupts that awareness so new answers are sought. I believe free-will is that element. If God were able to interfere with free-will, we would just be made to do what was wanted, and the outcome would be known at the beginning. In my opinion, there would be no point to life as we know it in that case, other than for The One to have many followers, which I do not believe is why we are here. I suggest that the thinking mind taking control is one of those variables that was perhaps not expected. A technical fault, you might call it, and one that alters when the next predefined time of change comes about. Quantum physicists and mathematicians recognise the existence of this element of chaos. Once you get to a certain level of calculation, an element of chaos appears in the answer, defying so-called logic. Quantum physicists have also seen this element of chaos in the study of atoms right down to the level of quarks. 
I believe that this element of chaos was included in our structure on purpose in order to make sure that something new and unique is happening all the time. Chaos guarantees unique happenings, ensuring that there are constant opportunities for learning, both for ourselves and ultimately for The One. Nothing that has ever happened before can ever happen again in the same way. Something is always different, no matter how small. These theories hold a level of truth for me that I cannot ignore. For me at least, they explain many so-called mysteries. Things are as they are meant to be. Although we are eventually meant to feel good constantly, change is completely guaranteed and everything in life is a learning experience. What do you think? Chaos in the mind, when it becomes intense enough, always leads to some form of breakthrough. As long as that mind is stable enough for the chaos not to lead them into full insanity.
Metaphorically speaking, you are put in deep water to ‘cleanse’ you, not to drown you... I believe the quicker you learn, the quicker situations dissipate or change into something new. Your expectations, focus and the quality of your thought, whether uplifting or degrading, dictate the quality of most of your learning experiences to come. Awareness of this process helped to make life far easier for me. I hope something of what I’ve said here resonates with you, and helps perhaps answer the question “What is life all about?” Even if my answer is not the true meaning of life, for me it’s a better probability than most I’ve heard. 
Have you heard the saying “As above so below”? I believe in that statement and I also believe in the reverse: “As below so above.” The evidence from my life, and from what I see around me all the time, tells me that life is about learning, one way or another — not only for humans, but for all other life forms as well. If that is the process in this physical dimension, it must be the same process in that highest dimension as well. Here is an idea that may challenge you. What if what we call God, The One, is not the highest level of awareness, but only the highest level that we could possibly comprehend? What if The One needed to create all these trillions of life cycles, in multiple dimensions, over millennia, in order to learn something that would allow it to ascend to another level of awareness? Yes, there could be a next level for The One, a level that it is aware of, but perhaps has not arrived at yet. As below, so above. What if there were actually many levels of awareness above The One? If we could truly comprehend where we came from, surely the highest level we could comprehend is the level that created us?
What if there are other dimensions and parallel universes in our frequency band of existence? It is possible, and even probable that there are an infinite number. We may even have an infinite number of duplicate selves living in and experiencing other dimensions. This could also mean that every event, situation or interaction possibly available for you in this life, could have happened, or be happening, concurrently right now. My own experiences indicate that this is very plausible. It is possible that when you reach out with a high enough level of questioning and reasoning, and with a very high level of true expectation, the information about how best to proceed in any area of your life could come to you from the parallel ‘you’ that is more experienced in that area in another dimension. Not because it is responding, but because you are both connected in a way that allows the information exchange. 
If the returning information is not overridden by your thinking mind to fit with what it wants to hold onto, or is not just the public identity trying to perceive itself or be perceived in a certain way, you might get surprising insights. Perhaps the right-brain prefrontal lobe has the ability to interact with other dimensions. The mind receives new information as glimpses of inspiration and this is possibly where some of it comes from. Perhaps what I once thought was creation giving me information is in fact an alternate version of me giving me the information from another dimension. Déjà Vu may come about because an alternate ‘you’ has already experienced that moment in a very similar way. It’s just a theory of course. I believe we can experience these bits of inspiration when we open up to higher levels of awareness through self-acceptance, and by relinquishing our egoic attachments associated to public identity.
I believe our particular dimension is only one frequency band within the full range of frequencies available within Creation. Your body is just a physical vehicle that is vibrating at the same or similar frequency within this frequency band, this physical reality experience. I believe each frequency band holds a full reality for those entities vibrating within it. For most intents and purposes, we are essentially locked into the frequency of this physical world. However, people are occasionally able to briefly move into other frequencies and experience other realities, or have them come across to ours. Occasionally, other frequencies merge with ours briefly, perhaps as television frequencies do in certain weather conditions. When that occurs, people see what appear to be ghosts going about their business. It makes sense to me that those people may be seeing into another dimension. I believe that when we die, this is what happens to most — we simply change frequency and begin to vibrate at the frequency level of the next vibrational reality consctruct, which presents us the next part of our experiential journey. 
Certain kinds of drugs were used by ancient peoples like the Peruvians and the Native Americans to apparently shift and move their consciousnesses into other dimensions, apparently shifting frequency. To me it’s just like watching tv. In the same way that the frequency dial on a television allows you to change frequencies to other television channels, maybe there is something similar that can allow us to tune in to other reality stations. Unless you touch the channel selector on a telivision, you will stay on the same frequency, and you will experience (be in vibrational harmony with) only what is being transmitted in that reality frequency. Quantum physicists generally believe in other reality dimensions. We also see reality in the way we are tuned into it, based on our thinking — in this case the combination of our true beliefs and expectations, which dictates our chosen approach. This is what I have been calling your cycle of perception. All dimensions operate according to universal influence, so this theory does not discount the presence of an overseeing universal awareness. Obviously, I cannot categorically prove these concepts right now. In the meantime, I will experiment with this theory and some new ones.
Your Purpose, Mission & Destiny Are Different

In my humble opinion, your Purpose, Mission and Destiny are different things. The purpose of your life is just to be you, and to be happy and at peace. Your mission is what you are called or driven to do. And your destiny is what you end up doing; this embodies your growth and is part of your progression of reintegration with The One.

The purpose of your life is simply to live it, as you!	

People become obsessed with what they call their search for “the purpose of their life”. Perhaps we are not meant to know, any more than a bee knows its true purpose in life. Most people think that the purpose of a bee’s life is to collect honey, and perhaps the bee experiences itself like this also. I believe that collecting honey is the bee’s mission and not its purpose. The collection of honey is it's calling and perhaps makes the bee feel good whilst it is performing its mission. It can be oblivious to its true purpose and still carry out its mission. Its true purpose is more likely to be to spread pollen and help plants to procreate and proliferate. What if its true purpose is actually to feel good whilst just being a bee? What if your true purpose in life is to feel good in any moment, no matter what you are doing? Surely that’s a more logical view than stressing to find the keystone that you think fits all the criteria that you have learned in your life may make for a worthwhile reason for being? That is part of a thinking process, and thinking is not where true happiness is experienced, that comes from experiencing the moment. It's more likely you are looking fo a way to escape how you feel about your Self.
If you are desperately looking for what you think is your true purpose in life, you are probably not feeling very good about yourself now. Asking “What is the purpose of my life?” is the realm of the thinking mind. When you are not indulging in these questions and just being, there is no need for this question, and you can just experience. I believe that the purpose of my life is just to live happily and peacefully. I don’t mean live from a personal development perspective: i.e. to strive to get stuff and make sure I’m living my life to the fullest. I mean simply experiencing every moment as it comes, with no expectation of the next moment other than knowing that it will come. 
When I’m eating food, the purpose of my life at that moment is to eat and enjoy my meal. When I am crossing the road, the purpose of my life at that moment is to take one step at a time until I have crossed the road safely. All that exists is right now, so you can only fulfil the purpose of your life right now. The act of simply living my life moment by moment means I deal with whatever is presented to me in that moment. I am fulfilling my purpose in life simply by living each moment as me. What dictates the purpose of your life and your true destiny in any moment is beyond your true comprehension whilst in human form. Therefore, it’s pointless trying to work it out. Indulging in this kind of thinking will just cause you discomfort, torment and suffering. The thinking mind cannot hold the answer to this question. Thought cannot help with this quest because thought creates this quest, and takes you away from the real answer. 
Now, the idea that your purpose is to ‘be you’ does not give you permission to behave badly. I certainly do not support disempowering behaviour. Know that even the life of someone who could be considered cruel or brutal is a valid life. Even if you consider yourself to be a bad person because you hurt others, or do things that could be perceived as bad, no matter who you are or what you have done, your life is absolutely valid. Your unique experience of life is absolutely required by creation, and just as important as anyone else’s. However, be very aware that you will not experience happiness in your life if you continue to behave in cruel or destructive ways. You are creating Karmic costs that you’ll need to pay at some point. I say this only to influence you to make conscious choices that will support you, not to judge.
All the fragrances in a forest are required to make it a forest, and each is as important to the existence of the whole forest as any other. No matter what suffering you have experienced, or what trauma you have been through, there is a positive reason attached to it; it was required in your experience of life. What can you learn from it, from an optimistic and supportive perspective? I believe that no matter how bad you believe yourself to be, to creation, your life is as perfect as the life of anyone you consider to be more deserving or better than you. Without every different combination of experience of life, there would be no point to any life. To Creation, you are absolutely perfect, and always evolving, and it will make sure you continue to evolve (whether you want to or not). Don’t ever consider yourself to be going nowhere. You are always moving forward one way or another, even if that requires going backwards a little to learn something you missed. If you cannot accept this reassurance, you need to challenge how you think about yourself. You simply do not have the self-esteem required, at the moment, to experience the truth in these statements. Therefore, you have been given this book by universal influence (as there is little chance I put this book in your hand myself and told you to read it) to help you to discover and experience self-acceptance. Never let anyone tell you that your life is not as valid as theirs or anyone else’s. You are not valued any less by creation because you do not have the things or status that someone else has. The purpose of your life is to be you, and to be happy being you. Use this book to help you be happy and find peace with yourself. You deserve it.
	Your Mission - You come into this world with a mission, which can also be looked at as your calling. It is up to you whether you fulfil that mission or not, but the opportunity to do so will be waiting for you and drawing you throughout your life (although you may not be able to experience that drawing). Most people want to believe their mission is to be somebody significant. Our public identity tells us that the purpose of our life must be to be significant, or do something that will cause us to be perceived as significant, usually through money or fame. Meanwhile, most people’s mission has nothing to do with being famous or publically significant. When you look around at people who do what they love, no matter what others think, with no desire for fame or approval, success follows them. 
Consider what you truly love to do, regardless of what anybody else thinks, and do it ‘to feel good’. Whatever success is available to you in this life will come as long as you are doing what you can to feel good. When you feel good, you are already successful. If you want success, do whatever it takes to feel genuinely good. I know a stockbroker who became a window cleaner and absolutely loves his life now. He does a job that is important, so it is not insignificant. Although some may think so, there are no insignificant tasks in life. All are required. He is happy doing it and does not do it to gain approval or significance, even though he likes it when people appreciate his efforts. He gains approval from himself because of the caring and joy he puts into and experiences from his work, and how he treats himself consistently. 
What did you want to be as a child? Perhaps it was something that was conditioned out of you as an inappropriate way to live or an inappropriate pursuit by those you perceived as important in your life. Every job in this world is necessary, at least at the moment, and there are people in this world who are pre-programmed with the true desire and natural ability to do exactly those jobs or tasks. Unfortunately, most don’t come into alignment with them, because they are trying to ‘be someone different’ through a need for the perceived approval of others. Every task that needs to be done has a significant purpose. No job or task is less significant than any other. Some are just preferred because they appear to give more public significance than others, and the thinking mind has given a hierarchy of quality to each job over the centuries. The public identity is only interested in reaching the highest possible levels (based on perceived potential) in that hierarchy, to gain approval or avoid disapproval. This is extremely sad because it tells people that if they pursue their calling, and it is lower down on the significance hierarchy, then they are going to be judged as being less worthy than others. This belief causes discomfort and often sadness and takes away the pleasure that people should and would get from fulfilling their true mission or calling. Let go of public identity and your concern about what others might think of you. Instead, find your true calling, no matter what it may be. If you really need to feel significant, then simply be the best at whatever it is you are called to do as your mission. The need for significance can be fulfilled with true, humble self-approval. 
	Finding Your Calling - What excites you? What do you get excited about when you think about it, or doing it? One way to find your true mission is to do a simple exercise. If you’re not very good at remembering what you’ve read, then have a friend help you with this, preferably somebody with no judgement for, or vested interest in, what you choose to do, and has no expectation of what you should be doing. There are a couple of rules to this exercise. First, you must clear your mind of all the past expectations you have been carrying with you. You must resist thinking of activities that you know others will perceive you well for. You cannot find your mission if it has to fit in with what will get you approval or avoid disapproval from others, and that includes your family. Success must be perceived as coming from the fulfilment of your mission, and not from becoming good at what you or others believe you ‘should’ be doing. 
Now, close your eyes and imagine that you have been away for a couple of days enjoying yourself. You now come home to find that a very distant relation to whom you had no emotional attachment (therefore you won’t be clouded by grief issues) has left you with enough money that you will never have to work again. Now you can do anything you want to do with your time, regardless of what anyone else thinks. What would you do? There are no restrictions on your time, your location, or what you can choose to do. Imagine that it does not matter at all what anybody else thinks about what you want to do, or that whatever it is will be approved of by others. Imagine that your family support you in anything you do, so their opinion is not an influence on, or obstacle to, the choices you’re about to make. Imagine that nobody else will actually know what you’re doing, so whatever it is, they can’t judge anyway. It is just for you, and being happy is all that matters at this moment. You do not need to get recognition from anybody, or to be helping anyone. 
When you have arrived at the answer, is this activity something you would be happy to do, even if nobody knew you were doing it? If it has anything to do with fame or success, then your desire is still more than likely coming from public identity and your need for approval. You need to do the exercise again, this time letting go of any need for significance. Think back to when you were a child or coming into your teenage years, before you realised that being famous, rich, successful or doing something ‘worthwhile’ would serve you in some perceived way. What did you ‘really want to be or do’ when you grew up? Answer as honestly as you can. Do this exercise every week if you have to, and make sure it is not because someone may pat you on the back for it, until you start to feel some level of childlike excitement over your answer.  
There are many people, especially in personal development circles, who would say that the worst tragedy that could befall you is to have a mediocre life. No life is more important than another, even if it appears more dramatic or significant. I believe every life, no matter how it is perceived by others, is absolutely as valid as any other life experience. No matter what has happened or is happening in your life, there is a purpose to it. To me, the only difference between the President of the USA and a homeless person drunk on a street corner is their perception of their own value, which dictates their beliefs, expectations, approaches and motivations for themselves and towards their life. They are both as important to the learning of The One as the other, and are therefore equal in the eyes of God, if that is how you refer to The One. They are both part of an organisational wisdom that is beyond the comprehension of the thinking mind. So never let the thought of being so-called mediocre stop you from doing what really brings you joy. Those people whose judgements you listen to, and allow to stop you or influence you away from being happy and fulfilling your mission, will never truly thank you for doing so.
Your Destiny - Your destiny is to grow and progress through this life, and the next, and continue to do so until you reintegrate with The One. Your destiny will be a result of your decision-making process over the course of your life and a culmination of everything you have experienced, plus the level of awareness you have achieved over the course of this life. You are destined to continue living physical experiences until you have transcended the need for a physical form. Therefore, the sooner you put into practice the processes in this book to help you rise in awareness, the sooner you will transcend the need to keep coming back in physical form. Each rise in awareness moves you closer to returning to The One. Invite any and all learning experiences that you can. They are the key to your progression and ascension.

asdfsdfsd

Your Guides and Their Purpose

I believe that we all have guides. Guide is a word that has been used to describe these trans-human entities for thousands of years. Most people think they are there to protect us. However if they were there just to protect you, they would be called protectors, not guides. In the energetic place where they reside, and how they view this physical dimension, no protection is perceived as being needed for us, only guidance in our ascension of awareness. They do not see death as the thinking mind does, so they know we just transition if the body dies, as all physical bodies do. Therefore, they are there to help us experience what we need to for our evolution. If death or injury are part of that process, so be it. They will try to guide you away from potentially dangerous or disempowering situations, but your free-will entitles you to ignore their guidance, or let the subconscious thinking mind to adjust it. Therefore, if you need to experience in that way to learn, you will. Your guides exist mainly to assist you towards and through constant change, which is mostly of your choosing, whether your choices were made now or before you entered this physical existence. Your guides are here to help you transcend where you are now. 
Your guides were once also physical beings that understand the physical experience; otherwise they could not help you properly. Your Guides may swap to others over the course of your physical life, depending on your growth in awareness. By growth, I mean a change in perception, your quality of thought and reasoning, leading to a change in frequency of vibration, and therefore the level and quality of experiences that are required to continue your ascension. You must understand that you are here to have a distinct experience that is unique only to you. The fact that there are billions of people on this planet alone, in this one frequency dimension, each having uniquely distinct experiences of life in one form or another, confirms to me that every creature having a unique experience of life is a large part of the purpose of life.
To your guides, anything you choose to experience, or anything they send your way, is just an event, an experience for you to learn from. Remember, there is no right, wrong, good or bad — just events. Your guides will send you the events they feel will help you to grow and evolve to a higher level of awareness. It makes no difference to them whether you choose to feel good or to feel bad. They know that is just part of the process of your progression, evolution, away from the thinking mind. They know that life will guide you to the decision to eventually be consistently happy and at peace, whether in this life, or in another to follow. Sometimes you have to reach the bottom of a well before you can make the decision to start climbing out and never go back down there again. As extreme examples of this process, ask any reformed drug addict or alcoholic about their experience with hitting rock bottom. Without such experiences, you would not know how to make these kinds of decisions to support yourself, let alone have the drive to do so. You will only ever do what you must do, not what you should do, or what you want to do! Every event is absolutely required. I believe it is possible that just before we enter this life, we choose the level of awareness we wish to have by the end of this physical experience. Your guides obviously know this. It may be part of their job to make sure this level is achieved, as well as creating the Karmic experiences we need, however we still have freedom of choice, free-will, that they cannot interfere with, because it is our journey and not theirs. Reaching this level is therefore not guaranteed, just requested. 
Your guides will place events in front of you to help you grow. You may not have asked for their presence in the moment, but they are designed to help you clear Karma and fulfil your  inherent need for growth in this life, at least as much growth as you are prepared to experience, and that which is forced on you. If, for instance, you have been presented with situations and events that will help you grow in some direction that your guides feel you need, and you do not get the learning from the experiences, they’ll continue to escalate the intensity of future events, situations or interactions until you get the lesson you are being directed towards. If you do not get the learning in this life, you will continue to have it presented to you in new ways in the next life, until you do get it. It’s still down to your free will whether you open up to learning the lessons or fight against them. These lessons may manifest in physical challenges starting at birth. Your guides’ job is not just to give you what you need to experience to change your perception — it is also to make sure that you always have opportunities for growth in the direction required. Even when people reach a point in their lives where they feel they want nothing to change, either because they feel really happy or perhaps because they just feel safe, universal influence, through your guides, will find a way to continue presenting you with learning experiences. You need to keep growing to stay in line with how life works. Therefore, the sooner you open up to experience the learning and learn the lessons, the sooner you will be given higher-level learning experiences, and the sooner you will evolve beyond the evolutionary need for physical life, and be free of the thinking mind forever.
Higher-level learning tends to be less painful. It is low-level thought and disempowering reasoning that requires pain to create a shift. You can learn through an interest in growth and a desire to evolve (love and caring for yourself) or you can learn through enforced pain because of your resistance to change. Your level of awareness and expectation will dictate which process you choose. You also need to understand how your guides know what you are asking for. Your guides will supply you with whatever they ‘feel’ your emotions, expectations, and intent are asking for, because these attract your upcoming emotional experiences. They hear your internal emotional outcomes as a request for what you want to experience, or experience more of. Your true emotional outcome expectations and your intent direct your attracted life (plus some other things I will explain). Your guides are not listening to your voice, your thoughts, your forced expectations through public identity, or what you tell others you should or will have. Imagine someone standing behind you saying, “Show me what you want to experience and I will give that type of experience to you. Just be aware that I am listening to your emotions, not your thoughts. I will give you your expected emotional experience only if you truly expect it and believe that you deserve it, and it is in line with what is required for you to change your perception and evolve.” Your guides operate on exactly this principle. Your underlying level of self-worth, beliefs, expectations, approach, motivation, focus, internal conversations (questions, statements and comments, all of which you probably no longer hear), your reasoning and the meaning that generates the feelings that bring forth many of your future experiences. That is why self-acceptance, having internal integrity, and being authentic and honest with yourself, is so important!

You are attracting the same feelings into your life that you get from the quality of thoughts you are having, and that generate your imagination, right now.	

It is only when you let go and surrender that creation can take over and give you what you need. If you want creation to help you, it is required that you accept that you are helpless to help yourself in this way, and for you to give Creation room to do what it needs to do. Also have no attachment to what must come, and being open to whatever it provides. Creation wants new experiences so it will give you what you sincerely expect so that you have those experiences. It does not require you to have bad experiences, but they are still experiences, and you can have them if you really need to have them, to help you grow and evolve beyond where you are perceptually in any moment.

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The ‘Real’ Secret

True Self-belief + Desire + True Expectation + Intent + Emotionally Intense Imagination + Commitment + Discipline + Surrender  = ‘The Secret’. 
If you want to strive for a goal, you can add determination between commitment and discipline, but that will cause surrender to be more difficult for most. Then do whatever you can in any moment to work toward manifesting your goal as opportunities present themselves. Don’t try to force anything and be open to outcomes arriving differently than you imagined. Only your true expectations manifest. The more you become aware of your true, underlying expectations (and perceived level of self-worth), the more you will see that the conditions of your life are actually in line with them. The more you look at the conditions of your life, the more evidence you will see regarding your true expectations. Most people think that they are victims of their circumstances, when for the most part; they are the co-creators of them. This concept may sound ridiculous to some people, but it’s an important truth: when you truly understand how this works, you can attract or repel whatever experience of life you want. 
The connection between the physical world and the world of higher awareness is the underlying feelings that you create with your quality of thought, expectations, approach and reasoning. The information sent to your guides is based on your true expectations because they manifest as emotional expectations, not any other expectations like those manufactured by public identity. If you do not feel good about yourself — no matter if your public identity portrays you as someone who is successful and confident, and no matter if you even think you believe it — you will attract the results that come with not feeling good about yourself. Your guides hear what you really perceive and believe about yourself and life, and what you truly expect, not what your public identity wants to perceive or project.
Have you seen the movie The Secret? Many people have tried to follow the example taught in The Secret. It is a documentary about the book by the same name The Secret, and presents the concept of the "Law of Attraction", which is based on the principle that we can attract those things we want into our lives. It relates the workings of the cosmos and interactions among individuals in their physical, emotional, and professional affairs. The film also suggests that there has been a strong tendency by those in positions of power to keep this central principle of success hidden from the public.
For me, the lesson that is missing in the movie is what actually creates the ability to attract things into your life. If you noticed, every person who appears in the movie is congruent with their expectation of success — that is, they truly believe they deserve it, and expect it. This is because they all have high-level, high-quality thought approach and reasoning processes. For the most part, they truly expect the best, or at least enough that their desires can manifest. I heard someone on the radio talking about the follow-up movie and what I heard them say was that the law of attraction wasn’t working for many people because they didn’t believe that some of the things they wanted were possible. So they were saying that these people had to go and see that it is possible, and then they could go about attracting it into their lives. For me, they still missed the point. You have to believe it is possible ‘For You’. It doesn’t really matter if it is possible for someone else. You have to believe it is possible for you, based on the parameters of your perceived potential, before you are able to attract it. Or your true expectations will push it away, and attract what you do truly expect, which is what you already have.
I have watched many people over the years try to apply the secret and fail. Some have had moderate success, but they were going to have moderate success anyway. The people who did not achieve what they wanted were probably not going to achieve it anyway. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t work; it means you have to believe something is possible for you in order to attract what you want. You have to believe you deserve it and expect it. You must also be in vibrational harmony with that which you seek for it to manifest. Remember, everyone will fulfil only their true expectations of themselves, and not what they want or expect from themselves through public identity. You can only manifest those things that fit with your true expectations, that which are in line with your perceived worth and perceived self-value. 
Your Perceived Potential (self-worth + belief, belief ‘you’ genuinely deserve to have or do it) + Desire + Expectation + Intent + Emotionally Intense Imagination + Commitment + Discipline + Surrender = ‘The Secret’ to attracting your wants and desires. This is the structure of Attraction. Most people wont be able to consciously take advantage of this law of attraction because they will be unable at this point to fulfil one part or another of the process. All components are needed to manifest what you want to attract. If you imagine an outcome often and intensely enough, it will become real to you. Use this knowledge to attract the outcomes you want. You are already doing this, just do it consciously to get the outcomes you would prefer. You can change your true expectations by raising your thought quality, approach, type of reasoning and your level of self-acceptance, which will eventually raise your expectations and vibration. This will attract things of a higher vibration and emotional quality into your life. If you don’t truly believe you deserve something, honestly ask yourself why (in a supportive and uplifting way) to see if there is any real truth behind this disempowering belief about yourself.
If you truly want something, you must be thinking and feeling at the vibrational level that matches what you want to get, and hold the intent to get it, then there is no reason why it cannot come into your reality experience. If you first truly expect to get whatever it is, then you need to first experience it as if you already have it, or have achieved it. By this, I mean visualise it, and experience it in every detail, including and especially emotionally, as if it were already part of your life. Have total intent to experience it. Fully experience the gratitude of already having received it. Get yourself into a ‘state’ for some time, that allows you to completely experience the enjoyment and the excitement of already owning the experience of what you desire. Enjoy having the experience of it in great emotional detail - the more emotional detail the better (just remember to always choose uplifting and supportive emotions). 
Once you feel like you already have it because the feeling of experiencing it is so strong, let go of your attachment to it and allow whatever needs to happen to manifest and enter your reality experience. The more often you hold this kind of state over it, the more chance it has of materialising. Don’t build it into a craving or you will suffer over it. Just hold an intent to experience what the feelings that would come with your desired outcome would be like. Remember; be open to everything and attached to nothing. Your guides will then manifest something for you, because you are telling them with your whole physical being that the way you feel is what you want to experience more often. Their job is to supply it, or something of similar or greater value to you experientially. As long as you truly expect it, believe you deserve it, and are not attached to the outcome, they will usually exceed your expectations. They already have, although you may not realise it. 
Almost all of the things, situations and interactions happening in your life at the moment are the result of what you have requested on an emotional and expectational level. Therefore, if you go through this process, and what you desire doesn’t manifest, then whatever you do experience, is the evidence that will guide you, and you will know there is something incongruent or out of balance between your desires and wants, and your beliefs and true expectations, that is interfering with your manifesting efforts. Your true expectations or beliefs about what you truly deserve must be different in some way from what you think they are. Alternatively, something did manifest that suited your conditions, but because you were too attached to how you wanted it to manifest, you didn’t see or experience the actual outcome you did get. (Just to be clear, the outcome is all about the feelings you experience internally over having that outcome. The external object or event can only be experienced through an internal representation of whatever it is, the feeling of it; you cannot actually experience anything, other than what you perceive it is like for you, through how it feels to you.) You create and attract whatever is in vibrational harmony with your approach to life, which is your level of thought and expectational approach vibration. Therefore, the quality of your thoughts, approach and reasoning needs to be in vibrational harmony with the level of awareness that is required for you to have, and experience, what you have requested. Attracting circumstances and experiences has to be more than wishing for something and hoping it comes your way. You will only receive what you are capable of experiencing at your current level of thinking and reasoning awareness. It may not be what you wanted, but it will be what you truly expected or needed to help you grow. 
Your intent is very important when you are directing yourself to request a certain outcome. Intent is not only important in Karma, it is also very important in your approach to life. Luck appears when intent, expectation and opportunity collide. Of course using high-level personal development and mind re-programming, you can help to change your perception of yourself. This can be truly effective. However, even if you change, you will only ever get what you truly expect to get. Keep in mind that the strongest drive we have is to remain consistent with our perceived potential – how we truly define ourselves — which is really just staying consistent with what we expect of ourselves and life. We can manifest anything that is available to us at our particular vibrational level when we are in true alignment with our real expectations, and not when we are trying to pretend they are higher. Use your experience of life to see when you have already manifested the things you wanted in your life, or things you didn’t want but expected to get, and then you will be able to believe it is possible to expect things to manifest as you order them. If you want better, then you need to direct your mind to help you rise to the level of thinking and reasoning that will create the vibration that will allow the things you want to manifest in your life. If I can do it, so can anyone else.

xcvxcv

The Waterfall

This is a great example of manifestation and how we are given what we need when we ask in the right way. I give great thanks to my friend Phill (caretaker of the Pystill Rheadr waterfall near Oswestry in North Wales — see recommended resources). 
When I started to write this book at home, there were so many distractions that interfered with my ability to approach it and focus in the way I needed to allow me to access the personalities required to complete the book in the way I knew it needed to be done. Once I realised this challenge, I had an image flash across my mind’s eye (my internal cinema screen) of me writing outside a log cabin. I immediately went to the Internet and started to search for log cabins in Scotland and Wales, which are the best places close to me for beautiful countryside. I searched intensely enough, and with enough intention and expectation of getting what I needed, to tell my guides that I was serious about this request. I gave them enough emotional information to know what I was seeking. Then I stepped away and let go of trying to make it happen. I waited for universal influence to give me a signal about how to proceed, as I have learned to do. About four weeks later, I felt the urge to go camping at a waterfall in Wales that I used to fly into when I was flying helicopters. It was on a Friday that I decided to go, and on Saturday morning I got out of bed to find it was pouring with rain. My thinking mind said, “No chance. I’m not sleeping in a cold tent in this weather.” Meanwhile, my higher voice told me to go anyway. I trust this voice implicitly, so I loaded the car and headed off with my thinking mind still complaining in the background about the weather and what it would be like. 
I arrived at the waterfall a couple of hours later and was greeted by Phill working on his vintage wagon. We talked for a while and exchanged stories about what we had been up to since we last saw each other. When I said I was going to set up my gear to camp, Phill suggested that as it was raining I might like to stay in what he called ‘The Prayer Lodge’. I had no idea at the time what this was, so I just followed him. The idea of sleeping inside was highly welcome at that point, and I was already thanking my guides for hearing my message about wanting to be warm and cosy for the night. I had been to the waterfall many times, as it was a challenging flight and had helped to hone my skills as a pilot. Flying in and out of the hills and windy valleys, and landing in such a confined and challenging space was great experience. The only building I had seen from the air or ground was the old lodge that had been converted into a dining room downstairs with bed and breakfast lodgings upstairs. Next to this was a small lawned area with seating, and then a big clump of trees, which I had always assumed to be just a full, thick clump of trees. That day, Phill led me down there and took me through a gate at one side. I was suddenly facing a small log cabin that sat in the middle of this clump of trees. It was totally private and secluded. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. It was a perfect little log cabin sitting on the banks of a river amongst beautiful countryside, with the waterfall about 100 metres away.
I had mentioned to Phill that I was writing a book, but I had not mentioned that I was looking for a cabin. I had not realised that this sanctuary was the reason I had been led there on that day. I immediately told him that I had been searching for a log cabin to write in and had asked Universal Influence to present me with one. I asked if he would consider renting the cabin to me. He told me couples used it for honeymoons almost every weekend during the summer, as he held weddings at the waterfall. I mentioned to him that I would only need it for a few days a week, and that those days could be midweek if necessary. We had a short conversation and Phill readily agreed to allow me to use the cabin. Phill is a very spiritually driven person. He saw my book as a worthwhile cause and was happy to contribute. His gesture has made a huge difference to my ability to write and complete this book. I would like to thank Phill from the bottom of my heart. He is a truly generous man with a huge heart, and a good friend.
To say that creation provided me with better than I had requested would be a huge understatement. For me it was just one of those ‘there it is again’ moments. Putting your intent out there with emotional intensity and true expectation, and then letting go, will allow universal influence to provide you with better than you requested. As long as you truly expect to receive the experience of it or something similar, and believe you deserve it, and create the feeling of already having it, the universe will serve, as it is compelled to do. Always have faith that your true expectations are going to be met, as they virtually always are. Cultivate your faith, which is really a belief that you will be supported, and never allow fear to stop you going after or asking for what you truly want.

cxvxv

Understanding Karma

Karma - the Law of multiple returns, and amplified returned experiences. There is a universal cost and reward system in place in the universe. For every supportive deed or action, there is an equal or higher reward. For every disempowering deed or action, there is an equal or higher cost to the person who carries it out. This system is known as Karma, which can also be described as ‘the law of multiple returns’, and for good reason. Every intent you put out into your external world is returned to you amplified. Karma is a very complex system. It covers everything that happens, so trying to explain it in detail here would be virtually impossible. For now, I will give you the brief explanations you need to be aware of to influence how you acquire or wash away your personal Karma. 
Karma is the Omnipresent Universal Accounting System that I believe exists to teach us to treat others well (and as an extension, ourselves), and to have compassion and caring in all our actions. Karma is the mirror (duality), and the policing system of Free-will. It is the underlying cost and repayment accounting system for free-will, and is in place to teach compassion and kind empathy through mirrored experiences. It gives you the mirrored experiences of what your intent can bring to others experientially, so you know what the other side of your intent and actions feels like. Compassion is a level of caring for others, and high-level compassion is caring about others even when they are not like you, or when you don’t really like what they stand for. Any experience you bring to someone else will be brought to you in some form in order that you experience what it feels like. It is easier to hurt someone when you don’t know what it feels like yourself, and it is easier to have compassion if you do know what something feels like. Karma helps us to experience the other side of what we have inflicted on others, either in this life or in previous incarnations. Be sure that anyone who inflicts abuse will have to suffer abuse. The only exception is if their abusing hurts them so much that it creates the necessary change in them, and they become truly repentant over it. Not to satiate God as some would believe, but to help you to raise in awareness. That is what will serve the One.
If someone is a bully, at some point they must experience being bullied. Even if they became a bully because they were bullied, they need to learn not to be a bully. If someone cheats in a relationship, they will eventually have to experience being cheated on. That is, unless they start to make more uplifting and supportive choices in the moment, which will raise their awareness and override the need to do it, or do it again. In which case, the need for a future Karmic lesson of this type is washed away. There are obviously many behaviours besides being a bully or unfaithful that generate negative Karma: being dishonest, rude, arrogant, nasty, vindictive, judgemental, racist, beliefist, spiteful and many other behavioural approaches. We can transcend the need for Karmic repercussions for these behaviours by learning more compassion, or by choosing never to use certain behaviours towards others again, and this will wash that particular karma away. 
Your motivation to stop must be because you no longer want to cause the pain that these behaviours and attitudes bring to others. The sorrow must be because you hurt them and not because there was a cost to you. If you are genuinely sorry for inflicting pain on someone else, then all Karmic lessons connected to that behaviour will no longer be needed. Your growth, repentance and willingness to have compassion towards others will absolve you of your past accumulated debt in that particular area. Awareness of how Karma works, and what will be repaid to you for your actions and behaviours, must accompany your freedom of choice if you want to feel good and have good situations placed in front of you in the future. Karma also comes from the good feelings you bring to others, so whenever you help others to feel good by your actions or behaviours, you also attract those kinds of stimuli into your life. It is all about getting similar experiences to those that you give out. 
You can have intertwined Karma with many people for multiple lifetimes (this area of Karma could also fill a book on its own, so I will only talk of it briefly here). Karma between people is like a magnetic force. You may end up closely related to people you need to work out Karma with. Perhaps you were enemies in a previous lifetime, and need to learn compassion for each other to clear that Karmic debt. You may also be attracted to someone to fulfil a Karmic interaction needed to clear the Karma you must work out with them. You can only free yourself from this Karmic connection by being compassionate and loving towards all those who may be locked into Karmic lifecycles with you. So be kind, compassionate and caring with everyone. You never know why you may need to be interacting with them, and there is always a reason.
You wash away all Karma associated with the attitudes and behaviours involved as soon as you make a decision not to behave in this way again in the future. All Karma can be washed away with enough awareness and a high enough level of compassion. If you are really stuck in your life, it maybe that you cannot progress beyond a certain point until you clear away the Karma holding you back. However, it is difficult to clear away Karma until you change your approach to yourself or others. Compassion can dissolve all Karma because that is what Karma is designed to teach you. If you feel that Karma is active in any area of your life, and is affecting you negatively, what compassionate acts could you indulge in, in relation to this area of your life, to clear away that Karmic debt?
I loved the movie Pay It Forward. If you haven’t seen it, watch it, and use it as an example in your pursuit of the giving and receiving of compassion. Pay your compassion forward! By that, I mean give your compassion before you have any reason to. That act will attract more compassion and therefore love into your life, because compassion is really a form of love. As an example, if you are in a difficult interaction, see yourself in the other person’s position. Imagine how you would be feeling if you were them right now. Then, staying with this reference point, what would the other person (you) need to do, from a supportive and positive standpoint, with as much compassion as you can muster, to help the situation come to a mutually acceptable conclusion, where the other person feels valued? Once you have this information, you know at least in some form what you need to do to facilitate a good outcome that allows you both to feel good about the interaction.
Everyone is governed by Karma. Absolutely no one escapes, not Jesus, Buddha, the Dalai Lama, Bhagavan, nor anyone else. No level of spirituality or religious connections will allow you to get away with your actions, and you will always be rewarded for anything you do that is supportive and uplifting, even if it is just to feel good. Karma sees everything, including the knock-on effect of everything that you do. For instance, setting off a bomb in a public place will bring you the Karmic cost of every person involved, and the cost of all the people involved with them, and so on and so on. Karmic debt accumulation does not stop with a single deed. Conversely, the ripple effect works for good deeds as well. For instance, writing a book that helps many people will continue to accrue Karmic credit to your account — as long as you wrote it for the right reasons and not to get something in return, or just to accrue Karmic credit. Good deeds done as a result of your good deeds also reflect in your Karmic account, as do unsupportive deeds done as a result of your unsupportive deeds. Those who reap pain and suffering on others in one life may end up in the same situations in a later incarnation. If you caused maiming or injury to others to a high degree, you may enter this life already carrying the same or similar afflictions, or you will experience them during this life. Be very careful whom you make fun of, or you may return with the same afflictions you were mocking, judging and causing others suffering over. 
Karma can never be escaped, not for any entity! Even in the Astral dimension Karma is present. You have to face the reactions of your actions at some point. You may not encounter them in this life, but at some point there must be a reckoning. You can, however, re-balance your Karma by consciously choosing, in any moment, the quality of your thoughts, approach, motivation, and focus etc, which effect the emotional meaning you experience, your vibrational state, and the quality of your future actions and attractions. Also asking the One quietly for forgiveness for your past deeds, as long as, and only if, you are genuinely sorry and repentant over your actions, so that your genuine compassion clears away your Karmic debt in these areas. When clearing away Karma that you are aware of — for instance, for actions you took when you were younger — it is best cleared by doing the opposite of your original action, as well as by being genuinely sorry for behaving in a way that caused the Karmic debt. The closer the uplifting deed is to the disempowering deed, the better for clearing away the debt. This is one of the few reasons I suggest pointing your conscious attention into the past. Certainly do not continue if it causes you to feel bad, other than to genuinely experience regret for your actions briefly. Suffering is not the point of the exercise, because you want to feel good, right?
I have heard many people ask why they should even try to do good things when only bad things happen to them. I had a conversation with a guy some time ago who was selling stolen computers. I could tell he had a lot of ability, and had he pointed his ability in the right direction, he could have been honestly successful. However, he always seemed to go for the dishonest or easy fix. I asked him why he didn’t try to do good deeds to attract good experiences to him, as he always seemed to be having bad luck and misfortune. He replied that he had tried doing the right thing a couple of times, but since he had received no obvious return for it, he didn’t know why he should bother. I suggested that he do three times as many good things as bad things for a reasonable length of time, just as an exercise, for at least six months, and see what happened. He considered that to be an impossible task for him to try, and expected that he would fail and lose everything as a result. He is trapped with these beliefs and expectations, and will continue to have a low quality of life and encounter low-quality lessons, until increased pain brought about by these low level pursuits, cause him to raise his level of awareness by choice. Only then will he see how his misguided and disempowering thinking had caused many of his challenges in the first place. Unfortunately, up until now at least, he has subconsciously chosen to learn through pain.
This attitude reflects an all-too-common belief system. The thinking mind tells us to believe that we are separate and unsupported, that anything we get has to be taken somehow or it will go to someone else. As long as people have this belief, it is, at least for them, absolutely true. They are already using the law of Karmic returns, but do not understand it. They blame retribution by life or God or just bad luck as the reason they have so much ill fortune. If only they knew how they were creating the bad luck for themselves. What is considered to be bad luck is simply your guides providing you with the low-level experiences that you expect to get, or need to get, in order to learn to choose, moment by moment, better approaches and motivations, and therefore experience in higher level ways. Live your life and do what you want. However, if you do so with reckless abandon towards the feelings and situations of others, there will be a cost to you. 
Many people think that the challenges that come into their lives are based on some payment of Karmic debt, when in fact they are more than likely sent by their guides to help them to learn and therefore grow, which is what Karma is designed to do. If you attract someone or something into your life, they have been presented as a lesson to help you to recognise how you are perceiving and to give you the opportunity to make choices in those moments that will help you to raise in awareness (remember to do all this without judgement as that is what causes you your pain). Your guides will place events, situations and people in front of you to help you grow, which you may not be aware that you have asked for, which are designed to help you fulfil your inescapable need for growth in this, and every lifetime. Always be mindful of situations where you appear to be on the opposite side of treatment you have inflicted on others in the past. In those cases, do what you can to be compassionate and caring towards others involved. Learn what you need to about how the experience feels so that you are truly sorry for what you did in the past, without dwelling in your imagination of the past. Then make a commitment not to inflict the same experience on others again. Once you learn the lesson, you may not need to continue with that particular situation any longer. Being given a challenging opportunity to learn is not punishment. It is part of the process of becoming a more compassionate, aware being.
See to it that you do not hurt others through your words. Look back through your day to see all the people who may have been hurt by your words and deeds and internally ask them for forgiveness. Forgive immediately, or at the very least at the end of the day, all others who you perceived to have hurt you. Each morning express your gratitude to all those who have helped you learn the previous day, even if you do not yet know the lesson they helped to teach you, and thank in advance all those who will help you today. If you truly serve a cause higher than yourself, then you stand a good chance of accumulating more credit than debt. What you receive depends on what you give and the intent behind that giving. What are you giving out, and why? If you are rude to people all the time, and what you really want is for people to be nice to you, it’s just not going to work is it? You must come into harmony with the vibration of what you want to attract, firstly by raising the quality of your thoughts and perception to engender high level reasoning reasoning, and secondly by raising your level of self-acceptance, so that uplifting and inspiring experiences can come into our life and so you can genuinely feel good about yourself.

Clearing Karma - Repent and Atone:
1/ Pyaschatapa - Repentance: truly and genuinely being sorry for what you have done in accruing that negative karma.
2/ Prayashchita - Atonement: give away something, let go of something, is best if these are in the area of the Karma you are trying to clear. If you have mistreated children, then do something for orphans or children. It is the process of giving something, or giving something up, as penance for their negative karma you have accrued in that area.

Expectation and karma works hand-in-hand and are like supply and demand. If somebody is expecting to be hit, and karma dictates that they need this experience, someone who is expecting to hit someone will be placed in front of them.

Even in astral world karma still applies, it cannot be escaped.

Karma- you reap what you sow many times over.
Plant a grape seed and see how many you get back, even though it takes some time for them to manifest. Creation gives you back what you put in. All the good you do stay is with the, and all the bad you do comes back to you.

Karmic lessons -- the lessons deemed to help you evolve and what you also manifest yourself.

True self-awareness can help to clear karma. Awareness is like a fire that burns karma.

Snatch every opportunity to help others or make others happy to accumulate good karma. If you help people that are doing bad, you can also accumulate bad karma. If you help others that are helping themselves to be happier, you will get a certain level of good karma. If you help others that are helping others or groups, you will get a higher level of good karma. If you are helping those who are helping nations, you will get even higher levels of good karma. So karma is proportionate to what it is you're helping. Helping someone to change mankind creates huge levels of good karma. The opposite of these is also true. Be very selective in what you are helping to propagate.

We have a karmic body, so we often suffer due to the calmer affecting this body. Whatever you suffer from, help others that suffer from the same so that you receive good karma in that area. This will offset the bad karma that you need to experience, although good karma cannot clear away bad karma. It can only cushion the effect of bad karma and nullify it.

If you appear to suffer from bad karma, become a karmic beggar and seek good karma in every way you can.

We don't know how and when the required payment of negative karma will come, all we can do is make the most people we can happy in any moment, be truly sorry/repentant for our perceived wrong-doings, and atone where we can.

Ask for your Karma to be cleared through your dreams.

Constantly show gratitude to creation by showing gratitude to the things that it has created. Serve people as if they were the divine itself.

Karma is attached to the 'unique' soul for the physical entity that soul is attached to to experience.

If Karma hit you with a one pound bat to get your attention, and it doesn't, it has to increase the size of the bat.

Karma is God's way of teaching as not to hurt ourselves through our thoughts, words and deeds. As we are all one in actuality, if you hurt another, you just hurt yourself.

If life needs to give you a lesson to guide you, then it can take some Karmic deficit and use it for that lesson.

jhgjh

The Power Of Intent
Something important to know about Karma is that it is mainly evaluated based on your intent. Intent is the same as your underlying motivation, your desire. If you intend to do something you perceive as good, even if it is perceived by others as bad, your Karma will be mostly calculated based on your good intent. If you use the law of attraction to cause harm or cost to someone else, perhaps out of spite or revenge, you will also get a similar experience in some form. What you give out, you get. When you use your intent for good, you will get the good effects of your intent, though not necessarily in the same form. If your intent was to do harm, but a good outcome occurred, there will be mostly a Karmic cost to you for your harmful intent. If you do something for someone else just to receive Karma, this will not work. It is not a bartering system; it is a cost reward system, mainly based on intent, which is designed to teach you how to raise your awareness of the consequences of your actions or inactions.
If someone really does not know they are doing something, then they can’t have an intent to do it. Therefore, Karma won’t affect them in the same way. Your guides are waiting to see your ‘true’ intent. They see your intent by your actions, by how you create emotions, by the emotions you are consistently creating in yourself, and by the emotions you try to cause in others. Adding strong emotion to any desire will help to manifest it, because you are strengthening your intent. You will then be provided with events, situations or interactions that will give you the emotions that your intent, expectations and actions would attract. That is because your guides believe you want to, or need to feel, to experience these things. If you’re not getting what you want, have a look at the intent and your motivation behind your actions, and decide whether it is going to create or attract what you want, or if it will create or attract something different and of a lower vibrational quality. 

bvvxbvx

What is Oneness?

Oneness is a term used to describe the inter-connectedness of everything in the physical and spiritual world. Oneness is actually what we already have. Our truly natural state is of oneness with all that originates from the same source, which everything does. We are all connected by an unseen energy that binds us all together. Most people I hear talking about oneness talk about how we need to get to a ‘state or place’ of oneness. Actually, the experience of oneness is simply not being or perceiving or experiencing yourself as separate. I was asked by someone the other day to describe my experience of oneness. I replied that it was simply that I no longer experienced being separate. 
He asked me if I was at one with the tree that was next to us, because he believed that oneness was about being able to become the tree, or experience as it does by becoming one with it. I said that for me it was not like that. I do not become the tree, but I recognise that the tree is not separate from me. We are the same, and made of the same vibrational energy and basic structure, and powered by the same life force. We come from the same source. We are just a different physical vibrational frequency of energy within our vibrational band of existence, so we look different. We are also inexplicably linked. What I breathe out, the tree breathes in and cleans it so I can continue to breath, and what the tree breaths out, I breathe in and clean so it can breathe. Killing them would be killing myself, so we are not and cannot be separated or perceived as separate. 
Separation is a concept of thinking and is caused by identifying too much with thoughts and the thinking that gives the illusion of a separate self. When you truly recognise that your thinking mind is just a tool for you to use, and not who or what you are, you lose your sense of separateness. Yes, we are apparently individual physical entities, but we are still just parts of the same basic material, filled with the same energy, and are really all just one entity. It is like cutting a branch off a tree and planting in near by and saying it is a different tree. The thinking mind will now evaluate it as being separate, yet it is exactly the same, whether it is a branch or a seed from the tree, it is still the same tree. It may be perceived as separate, but how could it be truly different?
Look at it in this way. Suppose I were to chop down a big tree, and out of that tree I made a house, shelves, doors, some paper, firewood, a table, some chairs, a lamp, a lamp shade of some more paper, a fireplace, some picture frames, some sawdust for the floor, doors, cupboards, and a few ornaments for the shelves. I then painted all the different items with stain and paint that gave each one the appearance of being made from something completely different. For instance, I painted each chair a different colour — black, white, brown, and yellow — around a table stained as mahogany — on a floor stained as oak. You may come into the room and see these objects as originating from completely different sources. You would think they were made of completely different materials and therefore assume they have different traits, values and makeup, and would see them as different. You would have no way of comprehending that they are all just the same. They have simply been shaped into different forms and presented in different colours. As a result, they are perceived differently by the judgemental thinking mind, which has to measure and thinks in separateness and individuality. With a bit more awareness, by stepping back, you would be able to see that they are all from exactly the same source; they just appear to be separate entities. Like the index finger of you right hand suddenly starting to think for itself and creating a concept of itself as separate from the rest of the body. What if the left index finger did the same and saw itself as separate and alone, and saw itself in competition with the other index finger. From a higher perspective they are just parts of the same larger entity. The One.
How about walking into a shop that sells hundreds of different lights. Every different shape, colour and size you can imagine. All of the lights are on, and all look different, so the mind can say that each is a different light. Each outer shell may be different because different shapes and colours vibrate at different frequencies to give them their form and texture, yet the light in all of them is the same. The light source is the same — light itself. For us it is the life force — life itself. Everything else in your life is the same. All living creatures may appear to be totally different, but they all have the same life force energy source and have the same basic underlying structure. You have the same basic DNA that a tree has, and the same life force, so how can you see yourself as different or completely separate from a tree, or anything else? Or anyone? We are all just differently frequencies of vibrating light, so everything is really just light vibrating in a way that causes it to be perceived as different. Our DNA just defines how everything vibrates so it is perceived a certainly way in the physical world.
Ending the sense of separateness and getting back to being connected is what is needed. There is no need to try to ‘achieve’ oneness. We are all already one in essence. We only believe we are separate, and striving to gain the experience of oneness. Experiencing Oneness is really about letting go of the illusion of separateness, letting go of the separation thoughts or separatist thinking. We already have oneness, but as a species, we no longer recognise this because of the way the thinking mind has evolved. Yes, it is important to recognise that we do have a unique physical form and appearance, and an apparently unique combination of traits and energies, but we are all still connected to the same life source of Creation. We are connected to each other, through every single cell in our body. We are one entity that simply appears separate. The concept that things begin, end, and have boundaries, is the result of the evolutionary process of the thinking mind. The words birth and death are thinking descriptions of what the mind perceives to be the physical beginning and end of life. Head to toe is the thinking description of the beginning and end of the physical body. What about the air between me my physical form and the tree? Isn’t that the same energy in a different vibrational form, and still part of the same energy, or overall entity? The perceptual assumption that I end and the tree appears to begin is a mental construct, because the thinking mind can only measure and evaluates from the conceptual assumption and assumed belief of separateness. When there is no thought, there is no beginning and no end, just the experience. The experience of being at one.

Oneness - you exist experientially because of everyone and everything else. you are a dependent being whether you like it or not. If you took away everyone else, and everything else, what would you be? What would there be to experience?

God was exiled by the thinking imagining fake consciousness by disconnecting us from our true connection to the God within, the Antaryaman

The internal experience of God is the only way we can actually 'experience' God, although we can see the result of God in our external world. This inner manifestation of God is called the Antaryamin. God is like electricity and needs the appliance to give the experience of its existence. The Antaryamin is the inner light bulb that displays the electricity/energy that is God.

The body is a vehicle for consciousness and for it to experience the external world through.

The re-emergence of the experience of oneness in mankind will bring about the end of dominance of one being over another, and the recognition of the divine being part of that oneness and only there to support and help in the evolution of consciousness.

The feeling of oneness comes from having a true experience, and the feeling of separateness comes from the evaluation of the perceived experience. This evaluation is based on the concept of self, and can only create a concept of the experience. This in turn keeps the individual, separate concept of self dominant.

No illusion of singularity

kjhkjh

The Aero Bar - I thought of this analogy one day during a coaching session to a client to relate the concept of Oneness. An Aero bar is basically a bar of chocolate that has been injected full of bubbles whilst it is still in liquid form. As the chocolate bar cools and becomes solid, the bubbles become air pockets within the bar. If you break an Aero bar in half, you will see that it is full of individual and apparently separate bubbles, as defined by the thinking mind’s description. We, as individual physical forms are like the bubbles within the bar. The surrounding bar interconnects all the bubbles, and the bubbles originated in the same process of creation as the bar. In this case, they were created at the same time. 
From a single bubble’s perspective, it may look separate from all of the other bubbles and doesn’t recognise that it is connected to them. It may feel alone or separate. Some bubbles are bigger than others; some are completely round, whilst others are not symmetrical at all. They are still all bubbles; they’re just different. Although each one is an individual bubble, the same supporting substance surrounds all of them, no matter what they are like. They are all part of the same larger entity. Even though they may appear to be separate when viewed from an individual bubble’s perspective, from a bigger or higher perspective, they are just different visual forms of the same thing. The Aero bar could not be what it is without every part of what makes it an Aero Bar. 
Now it might appear ludicrous to you as it would to me, if these bubbles started measuring themselves against each other because their thought processes told them they are separately individual and their thinking concept of themselves causes them to feel very different by comparison to others, and therefore they need to measure themselves against the others to work out how to define themselves, as people do. There would be some that would recognise they are part of something bigger, and they are all somehow connected. There would be some that would feel they are better than others. Some would be measuring to see who is the better bubble, or the bigger, or the most perfectly shaped, so they could find out where they fit in. There would be those that would feel they could never be as good as others. Some would think the other bubbles were out to get them, hurt them, or put them down in some way, or they would define themselves based on what they assumed or presumed others thought of them. Some would start criticising, mocking and putting down others. Some would feel alone, or separate, and believe they didn’t belong anywhere. There would be some that would love all the other bubbles and want them to get on together, to recognise that they are all the same, all part of the same bigger picture. Other bubbles would believe they were inferior, and so would pretend to be better by creating a public identity to use to pretend they are a different kind of bubble, assuming others wouldn’t notice, or at least hoping they wouldn’t. Always feeling disappointed or angry with themselves for not being good enough in their own evaluation of themselves, based on how they think they should be, compared to how they think they are. Some would even look to others to see how to act to be an acceptable bubble. 
Which kind of ‘bubble’ are you?
No matter how separate the bubbles may feel it is quite clear to a higher awareness that has stepped back and is looking from the outside, a higher perspective, that they are not separate. In fact, they are all part of, and connected to, something much bigger and greater than themselves. 
We, as so-called intelligent beings, should be able to see how ludicrous and pointless our own, similar thoughts are, and that looking at ourselves as separate and disconnected can only cause struggle, conflict and suffering. So why indulge in these kinds of thoughts? Why not recognise that we are all interconnected bubbles of awareness that ultimately come from, and are surrounded and interconnected with, the same source, Creation itself? Looked at from a higher level of awareness, we are all one. Therefore when you hurt another, you hurt yourself; when you help another, you help yourself.
This section is really about defining separateness or aloneness. The underlying cause of our deepest unhappiness and loneliness is our sense of separation from universal influence, brought about by the domination of the thinking mind. We feel we are separate, and probably alone. We do not feel connected to one another, let alone to a higher source of energy that binds us all together. We have lost the experience of our Oneness. We believe we need to look after only ourselves and not really consider others as well, unless we need to. This brings with it the belief that others are separate also, and that leads to feeling like it’s either you or me, or me against you, the me-and-the-not-me thinking that began in childhood. We must regain our sense of community if we want to transform mankind. Competition can only exist between individuals; even a team consists of individuals. When we no longer consider ourselves to be only individuals — when we truly experience our oneness — there will be no need for competition, except perhaps during organised fun. Let go of any false belief that you are alone, separate, and therefore vulnerable, and accept that you are part of something bigger than you can even imagine, and you are just as important as every other part.
Traditional science up to now has told us that inside everything you’ll find something smaller. Before quantum physics came along, if you took a microscope and looked at a cell, you would find that there were small particles that made up the cell. If you looked inside those smaller particles with a strong enough microscope, you would find even smaller particles. Quantum physicists have now achieved a much higher level of magnification, but surprisingly what they find when they go inside those smallest particles is that there is actually a void. Not more, smaller physical particles, just space filled with energy. Within that energy there is an awareness and intelligence that is in everything. That energy is in every cell of everything in the physical world, and that energy is the energy that connects everything, and is connected to the energy of every other cell in everything else. This is the life force I talk about. The belief that you don’t have this connection, or that it does not connect you to everyone and everything, is the real cause of your sense of separateness and aloneness. 

fgfg

‘The Force’ - I remember watching a movie called Star Wars when I was young. In that movie, they talk about something called “The Force”. I wasn’t sure why at the time, but something about the description of it really affected me. I felt in some way that what they were talking about was somehow real. I set my mind on a quest to discover what it was without even realising it. Interestingly, although at the time I didn’t really believe in love, the answer I received was that this connecting energy field was actually love itself. The highest form of love we experience emotionally. 
This concept of ‘The Force’ never left me. As the years passed, I started to understand why it had left such an impression on me. I believe there is a ‘force’ that binds us all together. Quantum scientists have discovered a field of energy that is similar to what the movie calls The Force. This discovery speaks for an interconnectedness that cannot be denied once you are truly ready to recognise it. I believe you have experienced the force in one form or another in your life. It is the awareness that tells you that someone is just about to call a moment before the phone rings. That time you looked up to see something happening that none of your physical senses could have warned you about, but somehow you were ‘compelled’ to look just at that moment. It led you to see something that you would have missed otherwise. It is in that feeling that you are going to hear from, or see someone, that you have not seen or heard from for a long time, and then suddenly it happens. It is the feeling that someone is behind you, and then you turn around and see them there, when none of your physical senses could have alerted you to them. Times when your thinking mind could not possibly know what is coming, yet you feel that something is about to happen, and it does. 
I’m not talking here about fantasising about an outcome and then having it happen. I’m talking about an unexpected event that you somehow knew in advance would occur. For most people, this awareness usually happens only seconds before the event. However, timing does not alter the fact that you knew something you could not possibly have anticipated with your physical senses or your thinking mind. Where does that information come from, and how does it get to you if you are not connected to that source? What do you think gives you your instincts? I call these moments ‘knowing without knowledge’. It comes through the right half of your brain, not your left thinking side. It is because you are connected to an energy, a source of knowing, that can give you this information. Your left-brain thinking mind has deprived you of regular access to this ability for almost all of this physical existence. Although your thinking and imagination can convince you it can do this, most people rarely experience this consciously because the thinking mind filters this information out of your awareness and replaces it with what it wants you to experience. All of what I have spoken about here can be simulated by the thinking mind. Using your imagination, it can give you the perceived experience of all these things, but they are probably not real. Knowing the difference is an ongoing ‘letting go’ experience, and those driven by public identity or significance will always be fooled by the mind into believing they can access these skills by choice, and they will always be trapped in thought because it is the thought you are so associated to that is doing this. 
The only aspect of The Force in Star Wars that I would question (besides how they manipulate others with it) is the saying “May the force be with you.” I would rephrase it as “May you recognise and be with this force” because it has always been with you. Only when you are not fully open to it are you blocked from receiving the constant flow of information and guidance that is being given to you all the time. The disconnection exists on your thinking-mind side, not on the side of creation and universal influence. It arises because we feel disconnected, and therefore feel fear, and then the thinking mind logically tries to use further disconnection as a means to avoid this fear. Yet all along, we crave to be connected again, often without really knowing it, or having any real idea of what we seek. As a result, many of us go about searching for completeness in the wrong way because of our disempowering thinking, conditioning and public identity drives. The truth is you can reconnect any time you want, by letting go of your attachment to your thinking concept of yourself, and reconnecting with your true self. That takes self-acceptance and caring for yourself, as well as higher levels of compassion for yourself and others. You can also regain some of the connection through sustained silence and from receiving The Oneness Experience.

sdgvf

Oneness Deeksha
Deeksha energy is the accumulated energy created by all the awakened beings in our past, manifested into the physical world by an Avatar in India, through his son, Krishna. Who then found he was able to transfer this ability to others, who could then channel that energy, for the good of others. I was fortunate to be one of those he directly transferred that ability to.

The balance of left and right brain dynamics changes, and the imagination created by the left brain thinking diminishes and the right brain experiential mind becomes more active and is less overpowered by the left brain thinking and imagining loop

Deeksha, or The Oneness Experience, is non-religious and nondenominational, so anyone can experience it. It can be given as a hands-on channelling of divine energy to the head or it can be a non-contact channelling of divine energy through eye contact or just the intent to direct this energy towards another. Although there are several explanations about what Deeksha does, in my humble opinion, the hands-on Oneness Deeksha re-balances the biochemical and bioelectrical functioning of the left- and right-brain hemispheres. It facilitates a quietening of the thought process (left brain) and raises the vibration of the experiential mind (right brain), eventually re-balancing the brain itself (amongst other things). This process allows the recipient to view life from a higher experiential perspective, if the recipient is ready to experience it in this way. In addition, the quietening of the thought process opens the way for new insights and awareness’s as the internal dialogue quietens or diminishes. 
The receiver will experience whatever the Oneness Deeksha brings, whatever they need to facilitate their raising of awareness. The receiver can hold an intent to be free of all obstacles or challenges they are experiencing in life at that time. From my personal experience, Deeksha quietens down and weakens the thinking mind’s thinking and imagining virtual-reality loop that I described earlier, and reactivates the connection to our experience of our higher self, and Oneness. The process can allow receivers to experience the present moment with greater ease, without as much interference from the thinking mind. The more Oneness Deeksha a person receives, the more profound the experience can be, and of course life itself, can become. Fear becomes a thing of the past, and life begins to flow in a way never before experienced.

Some people say that deeksha is to free man from thinking. I think deeksha is to free man from imagination or from the trap of imagination, because imagination is taking the place of truly experiencing our reality in any moment. It is imagination that has us trapped, not thinking. Thinking is just the driving mechanism behind imagination which dictates the quality of imagination. If there is low quality thought, there will be low quality imagination. Free us from imagination or the addiction to imagination and thinking can clear itself up through higher awareness finally being able to reach it.

Testimonial from Stuart here

For me, the Oneness Deeksha has shut down the constant loud thinking dialogues that I had going on at one time. Now I only interact with one thought at a time, if I need to interact with my thought process at all. I experience more and more of the moments in my life from an observer’s perspective, whilst still feeling completely involved in the experiences. It’s like being fully functional and being able to meditate at the same time. In fact, it’s like a constant, conscious, peaceful meditation. 
Where normally I could not have found freedom from my thoughts without very long, intense, isolated meditation sessions, now I can change the quality of my thinking instantly. Oneness Deeksha - The Oneness Experience - has allowed me to have what could have taken years in a solitary cave to achieve. I encourage everyone to experience at least one Deeksha - Oneness Experience, or indeed as many as possible. (See the Recommended Resources for contact details for trained Facilitators in your area. It requires training and a very special cleansing process to become a Oneness Deeksha Facilitator.)
The Oneness University was founded by Bhagavan and his wife, Amma. Both are considered avatars by the people of India, which means they were born to serve the divine and help mankind. They have both been working towards doing so since childhood. Bhagavan was highly aware from a very young age and innately understood the problems that had evolved from and with the mind. At a very young age, he began chanting a mantra that became stronger and more powerful as he grew into a man. Eventually his calling led him, and his wife, to found The Oneness University. The Oneness University is designed to help people break free from the control of their mind. Its purpose is to help raise collective consciousness and global consciousness so that we can move into the promised golden age rather than into any other possibility available for the evolution of mankind.
Their Mission - The Oneness University is committed to creating a future where advancements in creativity, science, and technology reflect the inner development and happiness of all human beings. Therefore, the mission of the Oneness University is to:
(1)	Help attendees better understand psychological and existential suffering, so they may learn to see how it controls their thoughts, reactions, decisions, and relationships.
(2)	Encourage individuals to grow in awareness and contribution, with enough compassion and enthusiasm to effect change in their families, communities, and in global consciousness.
(3)	Assist humanity in awakening to its common reality. We can embrace the future only if there is a greater appreciation of relationship, as it is the foundation for all organic and human interaction.
(4)	Provide the Oneness Process and the granting and receiving of the Oneness Experience. The course material is based upon the wisdom and teachings of Sri Amma and Sri Bhagavan. The Oneness Experience is a solemn exchange of divine, universal grace born of their intent.
(5)	Support individuals in continued spiritual growth as a way to affect all humanity. Our objective is to have Oneness Centres worldwide so that continuing education can be readily accessible. Currently, all courses at Oneness are designed to help individuals expand on their own faith or truth. 
Sri Bhagavan believes the index of development of a country is happiness, and that collaboration is the only option for a future of peace for all nations. He says, “Psychologically, you cannot be separate from another and this desire to be separate psychologically is the very source of danger and destruction. Each person asserting himself threatens his own existence.”  
Their Vision - Sri Amma and Sri Bhagavan have worked ceaselessly for nearly fifty years to help end suffering, separateness, and conflict among people. They have helped millions receive the Oneness Experience. It is Sri Amma and Sri Bhagavan’s vision to positively affect the global consciousness by awakening individuals to self-acceptance, healed relationships, and spiritual growth while contributing to others. The alleviation of suffering is at the heart of the Oneness Experience (Deeksha). As societies witness the greatest advances in history, inequalities continue to grow among individuals and nations. Despite improvements in technology, medicine, and telecommunications, a feeling of disconnection between individuals ensues. A great distance is perceived between humanity and the Divine. This separateness feeds on differences and is primarily the result of a flawed perception promoting emotional and existential suffering. If we are to aspire to a future of peace and prosperity, then the alleviation of human suffering must become a priority, along with the recognition that there is no separation between humanity and the Divine. For an awakening of consciousness, these ideas must be considered along with the economic, scientific, or political solutions to the practical challenges we face.
Sri Amma and Sri Bhagavan envision an awakening that allows humanity to live in creativity, collaboration and joy. Our new world would see unimagined progress in development, science and technology. We would discover efficient ways to protect the environment and distribute resources. Nations and individuals would recognise that cooperation is essential to our need to survive and thrive. The Oneness Experience facilitates the coming of this new consciousness that will move humanity forward, because it creates an opportunity for ‘the heart to flower’ and to awaken to a higher level of conscious awareness. Sri Bhagavan believes that Deeksha, The Oneness Experience, will help create a new generation of human beings, with a new outlook, a new sense of being citizens of the world concerned with all the living things of the earth. The spiritual growth of all human beings and a positive and productive future of our planet is everyone’s vision, and is part of Oneness.
How long has the Oneness Experience (Deeksha) been around? - The history of the Oneness Deeksha phenomenon goes back to 1984, when Sri Amma-Bhagavan started a school in South India. The school was called ‘Jeevashram’ (meaning ‘where life is lived without stress’ in Sanskrit). It was a boarding school for children from the first to the tenth grade. At the most, 180 students lived in the school. Every day there were also about 200 children from villages nearby who were allowed to study for free, since they could not pay for their education. Children from all religious backgrounds, Muslim, Hindu, Christian etc. were welcome. The school had no particular religious or spiritual motives except that the founders of the school, Sri Amma-Bhagavan, carried a grand vision that sprang from an awareness of the true nature of man.
The year 1989 heralded the beginning of a very great spiritual phenomenon amidst the humble settings of this school: the phenomenon of the Oneness Deeksha or the Oneness Experience. The epicenter of this wonderful phenomenon was in Sri Krishna ji, Sri Amma-Bhagavan’s son, who also studied in the same school. On the evening of the 19th July, 1989, Sri Krishna ji suddenly came running to Sri Amma-Bhagavan with wondrous news. He described an experience of being absorbed in a deep communion with a luminous golden being in his heart. As he communed with this divine being who named himself ‘Prajapathi’ (meaning ‘Lord of all sentient beings’ in Sanskrit), he had amazing mystical experiences and astral journeys. He described how incredibly peaceful it felt to have these experiences. Sri Bhagavan knew this was the phenomenon he had been preparing for all his childhood. He asked Krishna ji if he could transfer the same experience to the other students who had gathered that evening. Krishna ji, who was only 12 years old, spontaneously agreed, and started laying his hands on their heads, even though he had never been formally trained in any particular spiritual modality of transferring states of consciousness through touch. As he touched the students, they experienced a bright golden ball rolling out of Krishna ji’s third-eye chakra and descending into all their chakras, transporting them into very deep states of consciousness like cosmic consciousness, a direct experience of their personal God, love, bliss, etc.  
The spiritual aura in and around the school premises was so intense that even passers-by experienced a very ‘dense’ silence as they neared the school walls. Some would experience physically changes such as their body movements slowing down and sensory experiences becoming heightened under the impact of the immense divine grace that poured out of the school. In almost all their experiences, the students experienced the descent of this bright golden ball and aptly named it the ‘Golden Ball of Divine Grace’. A very deep transformation had occurred in the consciousness of the children. Many of the parents were deeply fascinated and yearned for the same kind of experiences. To this effect, the first spiritual course for the parents of the children was held in April 1990. 
There were, however, a few parents that were displeased with this spiritual phenomenon in the school. They explained they had not sent their children to become saints and sages, but to become successful doctors, computer professionals, engineers etc. By then, Sri Amma-Bhagavan, too, had begun to feel that if this phenomenon were left to work uncontrolled on people without sufficient preparation, it would not result in the smooth transition and the collective awakening they envisioned. Hence, they withdrew the offering of the phenomenon, only to release it in a more controlled fashion in levels so that people would be ready enough to experience such a massive transference of divine grace. This original intent of theirs constitutes the basis of the Oneness programs, wherein students are prepared through a series of spiritual practices, cleansings and teachings to receive the immensely beneficial effects of the Oneness Deeksha phenomenon.
The transformative effects of the Oneness Deeksha phenomenon left an indelible effect on a few children, who went on to dedicate their lives to the fulfilment of the vision of their beloved Sri Amma-Bhagavan. Four of these students became the foremost disciples of Sri Amma Bhagavan. They are Sri Krishna ji, Sri Anandagiri ji, Sri Samadarshini ji and Sri Vimalakeerthi ji. The original school had now fulfilled its purpose. Sri Amma-Bhagavan realised that it was time they really started the work they had been preparing for all their lives, namely to help humanity awaken into Oneness. In the year 1994, the last of the students graduated from the original, academic form of the school. The school was now renamed ‘Satyaloka’ (the abode of truth). It became the first spiritual centre of the Oneness Movement and offered courses to raise the levels of human consciousness. 
The numbers of thirsting seekers that thronged the school campus soon outgrew its capacity. Subsequently, two other spiritual centres were established in Somangalam and Nemam. The spiritual centre in Somangalam actively functioned for a very short period of time. Nemam continues to be one that is thronged by large numbers of Indian followers every day. The programs offered at Nemam cater more to the Indian masses and take the route of awakening people to divine grace through ancient Vedic rituals. The three senior disciples toured the length and breadth of India conducting spiritual retreats and prayer meetings across many cities of India. In 1995, a tiny band of young men and women offered to dedicate their services to Sri Amma Bhagavan’s vision of Oneness and joined hands with the senior disciples to take the Oneness phenomenon to new heights. These are the Oneness Guides that facilitate a variety of Oneness programs in India and around the world.
Who can offer the Oneness Experience to others? – The Oneness Deeksha can be channelled by anyone who has received the transmission and training during a special process at one of the Oneness campuses either in India, Fiji or Italy. These people are often referred to as Oneness Experience Facilitators. They work as an empty vessel used by the Divine as a channel for the energy transfer to the recipient. The level of energy transfer, or openness of the channel, depends on the willingness of the Facilitator to relinquish egotistical thoughts and beliefs about their part in the Oneness experience transfer process, and their level of surrender to the Oneness process facilitation. They are merely placing their hands on the head of the recipient and offering themselves as a channel. The Divine will then do the work required to help raise the awareness of the receiver. It also helps if the Oneness Facilitator relinquishes their attachment to ego in their everyday life.
Why is it different from anything else? - There is nothing else in existence at the moment that is as strong, or as directed, as the energy of a Oneness Experience. I have heard Reiki givers and people who practise other concepts of energy transfer say that it cannot be as powerful as Reiki or some other energy disciplines. I have facilitated the Oneness Experience with many of these people. Once they have experienced several Deeksha’s, and sometimes even just a single one, they clearly see the difference from anything else experienced. They no longer even compare it to anything else. It is meant for a different purpose than other forms of pranic energy, and actually helps to raise human consciousness. 
Deeksha, The Oneness Experience, channels energy directly from the highest level of the Divine we can experience as humans. Each individual can experience that Divinity in whatever form they personally give to the Divine (how they perceive their version of The One). The experience then begins to re-balance the operation of the brain, bringing back into balance both hemispheres. It thus dissolves the feeling of separateness created by thinking, and begins the process that will eventually bring back the experience of Oneness. 
Divine energy is the highest source of energy available to us and Deeksha is specifically designed to dissipate the control of the thinking mind through the channelling of this energy, thus helping to bring about a shift in personal and global consciousness. This shift in consciousness can have effects in all areas of life, including relationship with self, relationships with others, and your relationships to all areas of your life. Endeavours like the running of a business and the profitability and turnover of a company. There are many documented cases where the Oneness Deeksha has had a marked effect on the way employees of businesses and organisations have begun to interact and work with each other harmoniously after receiving regular Oneness Deeksha. In India, many companies have all their employees receive weekly, and sometimes even daily, Oneness Deeksha, because of the drastic effect it has had in the work environment, and on the lives of everybody involved. 
It has also been identified as the cause of increased profitability and improved business outcomes experienced by the company — even when their type of business should not be flourishing because of the economy around them. I have never experienced anything in my life that compares to the power of the Oneness Deeksha, The Oneness Experience. Nothing else carries the ongoing ripple effect that a simple placement of hands on the head by a trained Facilitator can bring about. I have personally witnessed illnesses and physical problems diminish or disappear altogether as a result of them receiving regular Oneness Deeksha.
Some of the benefits of receiving Oneness Deeksha:

Opens the doors of consciousness	Awakens intelligence	
Enhances memory retention	Increases ability to learn	
Takes you into alpha brain waves	Better hemispheric synchronisation	
Heals the body by healing the mind	Brings love to relationships	
Increases listening ability	Heals hurts	
Awakens compassion	Improves metabolic activity	
Instils affection	Relaxes the body	
Creates a prosperity consciousness	Removes blocks that hinder success	
Helps build love and appreciation for the body	Makes possible a mental frame for abundance	

Proof It Works - There have been many scientific tests carried out on the brain before and after Oneness Deeksha. Professionally recognised scientists carried out these tests under supervision. The tests show a drastic change in electrical activity in the participant’s brain over a several month period. Recipients went from experiencing some level of stress 95% of the time and some level of peace only 5% of the time to experiencing a complete reversal of these experiences. Basically, before the process, the participants were in default stress mode because of their attachment to their thinking. Only occasionally did they come out of stress to experience some level of calmness. Several months after the 21-day Facilitator training process, their default setting was calm peacefulness. Only occasionally did they experience mild stress when situations created a need for intense thinking. 
Why is Deeksha (The Oneness Experience) needed? - Our planet, and all of humanity, is currently undergoing a major evolutionary transformation. This is impacting our environment, our social structures, and our individual and collective consciousness. The co-founders of Oneness, Sri Bhagavan and Sri Amma, are here to help with this transformation. The Oneness Process was created to offer people an opportunity to release limitations that obstruct their ability to live a meaningful life. With this process, men and women of all faiths and nationalities can explore how to have fulfilling relationships and live in prosperity, peace, and balance with the world. The Oneness process also provides an opportunity to be a part of a global community of Oneness Deeksha Facilitators, who are working towards raising all of mankind to a new consciousness that uplifts every endeavour of the human spirit, from the art of parenting to national and global leadership.
 The thinking mind’s grip on us has become debilitating. Its ability to filter out anything that does not involve thought combined with our God-given basic free will has led us to become isolated from our experience of reality. We no longer sense the opportunity to experience Oneness and the ability for the divine to reach us. Something was required to intervene and take away the thinking mind’s power to influence our reality. Oneness is basically like giving the mind mild energetic stimulation to wake it from the self-induced dream brought on by the control of the thinking mind and the virtual-reality loop I described earlier. Without this stimulation, we would be doomed as a species, because we would eventually deteriorate to the point where we ended up destroying ourselves. Ironically, the thinking causing the problems that causes us to become destructive, is the problem in the first place. It is our low quality of thinking and low perception of our actual value that is destroying our quality of life, nothing else.

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The Power Of Silence

I encourage everybody to experience the power of silence as soon as possible, especially if you have not experienced it intensely before. By silence, I also mean no distractions of any kind, not just abstaining from talking. Being silent for long periods of time is something that people don’t get much chance to do, especially Westerners, and the ability to regularly experience true internal silence is an ability very few people actually have, because very few people have let go of enough internal conflict to truly experience it. For the people who decide to take on this challenge, the effects on their lives can be profound. I remember the first time I spent five days in virtually continual silence. I was with a group of people, and we were required not to speak to each other or anyone else. Apart from listening to some teachings, we were in silence all the time. This might not sound like silence, but when you can’t communicate, you also can’t distract yourself from your thoughts in the same way, or influence people’s (perceived) opinions of you through dialogue. The first day or two, I actually felt okay. The experience wasn’t comfortable, but it also wasn’t distressing. 
Some people struggled with not being able to tell the others around them about themselves, and tormented themselves over what the others might be thinking. I had fortunately already relinquished much of my public identity, so not being able to talk about myself to influence people’s impression of me affected me very little. By day three, however, I was struggling, because the mental chatter had become very loud. I stuck with it and started to step back and actually ‘watch’ this dialogue going on. I started to hear the discussions I was having with myself. I was amazed to realise that I was constantly having conversations in my head like these, and making repeated statement (incantations and incan’tations) about myself or other things. These conversations had been filtered out of my awareness by the adaptation mechanism of the mind, which had accepted them as normal and filtered them out of my conscious awareness, so I no longer consciously heard them. When these questions, statements and conversations are no longer given the attention of the conscious thinking mind, we become deaf to them. 
It’s like living with a ticking clock for the first time, you consciously hear it tick for a day or so, and then you don’t hear it tick again unless you give it your attention. It doesn’t stop ticking, but you just stop consciously hearing it as part of your everyday awareness. By day five, I was far calmer, more relaxed and also able to step away from the internal chatter without getting involved in very much. It was like listening to another person talking my thoughts out loud and speaking in my voice. It was a very profound experience. Although I had become quite self-aware before that point, this took me to another level of self-awareness. That experience has never left me and has been hugely amplified since. Now I hear virtually all my internal dialogue when I interact with my thinking mind. I can choose which internal discussions to have as I need to, and which to dismiss. The thinking mind will carry on thinking anyway, but as long as we have awareness about its processes, we don’t have to indulge and interact with its thoughts.
Become the watcher or listener of your thoughts as if you were listening to someone else. Do not come from a judgemental focus. If you are judging, you’re still indulging your thinking mind. You cannot be free of your thoughts by thinking about judgements. Become aware of yourself as the thinker, and then become aware of yourself as the watcher or listener observing the thinker. Who do you talk with in your head? It takes two voices to have a conversation in your head. If you become aware of your voices, you will realise there is more than one having a conversation. How could you have a conversation alone? If you can truly tune in to the listener, you will hear or experience that the two are different. 
A technique I recommend quite often is to listen to the conversations in your mind without answering or responding. When you can do this, you will be able to decide which conversations you have with your thinking mind, and which ones you allow to slip by and not indulge in. It’s like having someone sat next to you and hearing them speak, and being able to choose what to listen to, and what to ignore. If you truly listen to your thoughts, you will be able to hear the discussion and dialogue. It sounds like two separate people having a conversation. What do you think would happen if you didn’t answer when a question was asked or a statement was made in your thinking mind? At any time during the day, listen to the thought you are having right in that moment. Do you need it? Can it serve you right now? If not, don’t respond to it and focus on your external experience of life. Another thought will soon take its place. 
What actually happens is eventually you don’t hear the conditioned through practice negative dialogue, through choice not ignorance, and the statements and judgements cease to appear with the same repetitive frequency. The chatter in the mind starts to die down. If the silence continues, eventually the chatter stops virtually altogether. Over time, with other shifts in your awareness, you can get to the point where there is only one thought at a time in your conscious mind, and very little discussion that is not absolutely required taking place. You can only really experience this ability by immersion in a prolonged period of silence, with no interactions or distractions whatsoever. No television, no people to converse with, no books, no music tapes or CDs, no noisy environment where people or vehicles are moving around that can take or attract your attention, and therefore hook your focus. Nothing but yourself and your thoughts for company. 
Yes, it can be scary, but it’s surely scarier to be controlled by a subconscious thought process that you can’t even hear, which causes you to struggle and suffer almost continuously. Silence allows you to hear the thoughts that control your life. You will also start to hear your beliefs about yourself and others, comments you make about your self-worth or lack of value to yourself and others. Then you can question them and update them using your higher level of thinking and reasoning. It’s hugely empowering!
The Native American people are known for their vision quests. Part of the vision quest is about being alone with your own thoughts — seeing where those thoughts go and what happens when there is no thought left. When you have no thought that you can attach to, you leave a void that allows the voice of universal awareness to speak to you. When you can experience the silence regularly, or virtually all the time, you open yourself up to the wisdom and knowledge of the universe. This is something the thinking mind has stopped from happening. It is why people feel so alone and disconnected. They then try to gain connection through the thought process, which in turn creates more disconnection from their actual connection to the moment. Do what you can as soon as you can to experience at least a week of total silence. I will be organising opportunities for people to experience silence in a beautiful, peaceful environment sometime in the near future. You will be able to find details about these events on the website http://www.YourThinkingMind.com/retreats/ and on the website under ‘Recommended Resources’ at the back of the book. For now, let’s look at how to find the silence, or at least as much as you can, in the environment you have now.

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Finding The Silence
Whenever you are sitting down waiting for a bus or in a waiting room, or anywhere where there is nothing to do but wait, you can take advantage of the opportunity for silence. Be honest with yourself and decide what else you really need to be giving your conscious attention to, focusing on or thinking about, honestly. I suggest nothing at all. Anything not in front of you right now, can be forgotten about, for a few moments at least. Let go of all the topics your mind wants to chatter about, and bring your attention to just being still. Cultivate your skill at being able to still your mind with practice. There are several ways to create silence from your thoughts. I am going to share the ways I have found to be the easiest. Obviously, anything I tell you here will work best if you’re in a quiet place, without your television, radio or telephone switched on. Find somewhere where you won’t be disturbed for some time. If you have a medical condition or anything else that may cause problems, or you have any doubts, I suggest consulting your doctor before doing any of these meditations. You are your own responsibility, so please take care of yourself. Make sure the meditations are safe for you before starting. I also suggest learning Diaphragmatic Breathing to enhance your meditation if you don’t already use it. Here is an overview:
Place one hand on your upper chest and the other just below your rib cage. This position will allow you to feel your diaphragm move as you breathe (the large muscle under your lungs), and help you to minimise breathing into just your chest. Check to make sure you are not breathing using any muscle other than your diaphragm. Breathe in slowly through your nose so that your stomach moves out against your hand. The hand on your chest should remain as still as possible. Tighten your stomach muscles, letting them fall inward as you exhale. The hand on your upper chest must remain as still as possible, as your ribcage should not be moving.
To meditate means to give your full, undivided attention to something. The purpose of these particular exercises is to give your full attention to something other than thought. Eventually, it will help you to get your mind to a point where you are holding only a single thought, and then you let go of that too. (You can never stop the mind thinking, just do not interact with it; let it be.) 
The first way I would suggest to bring yourself into the experience of the moment and to get in touch with the flow of life in your body is as follows:
 	Sit comfortably with your back straight, preferably in the upright position. This can also be performed lying down, although sitting upright is better so it does not induce sleep.
 	Just in front of your ear is a vein that is probably the most accessible on your body for this exercise. Take your dominant hand and place the three middle fingers in a line along that vein just in front of, and almost touching the ear on the same side of the body as the hand you are using. Make sure you can feel your pulse on all three fingers. Vary the pressure of your fingers to help you.
 	Now just be quiet, breath freely, and experience the flow of life through your body in the pulse of this life giving fluid.
 	Keep bringing your awareness to this point on your body every time you become aware that you are off thinking about something. 
 	Stay this way for about 5 minutes, or as long as you like, and experience the calming effects of coming into harmony with the movement of your life force.
You can do this anytime you are sitting or lying down, although don’t do it when you are driving, only when you can properly relax. The next is a great meditation to use often.
 	Sit comfortably with your back straight, preferably in the upright position. 
 	Put your full focus on your breathing. Pay attention to your outward breath and then your intake of breath. At the end of your out-breath, before you start breathing in again, there is a pause.
 	Start to recognise the stillness in your lungs during this small pause, maybe even in your whole body. 
 	Start to listen to your thinking as you breathe in, and as you breathe out. Then focus on your in-breath, and then your out-breath only. Focus only on the physical sensation of breathing. 
 	During the pause at the end of the out-breath, move to the space between your thoughts. Cease all interaction with any thought and focus on the silence. By that, I mean do not give your focus to any thought, and just let them be. Do not hold the thought that you are not thinking, as this, too, is a thought. 
 	Just for a second, at the end of this out-breath, totally focus on the silence in your lungs, in your breath, in your body. Recognise the peace in your mind and body for just that short period. 
 	Keep up this breathing and practise feeling this quiet moment at the end of every breath. Don’t force yourself to do anything. Just allow your mind to be still at the same time your breathing is still. Don’t focus on any images you may see whilst doing this meditation. That is also a thought process to get your attention back and you will just start to create a story around these images. Most, if not all of them, are just creations of the thinking mind, not visions. They are the thinking mind’s way of keeping your attention by simulating dreams. If you indulge them, you will stay trapped in the thinking mind.
 	You will not cease to think, as most people assume you do in meditation. Instead, you allow thoughts to pass through your mind without focusing on any. You are giving your focus completely to what you are meditating over, the silence. 

This is peace ‘from’ the mind. You can use this meditation virtually anytime and anywhere you want. You can practise the silence at the end of the out-breath anytime. I suggest practising as often as possible, no matter what is going on around you. The more you practise this exercise, with commitment and awareness, the easier it will become to step away from your thoughts to find some peace. When I discovered this technique, I was sitting quietly and focusing on just my breathing, and I recognised the natural opportunity that this silence was offering me. I started taking in a deep breath so that when I exhaled, I could experience the gap for longer, before I needed to breathe back in. Then after some time, I was able to allow the stillness to start as I started to breathe out. Therefore I was silent and still for half of any full breathing cycle. If I have to spend prolonged periods using my thinking mind, for instance when I’m writing for long periods, I use this technique to help me return to peace. It allows me to step away from dialoguing with my thinking mind whenever there is no need to interact with my thoughts. The point is really about stepping away from your thoughts so you can gain awareness of how your spiritual higher self feels in this physical form. Once you have truly been gifted that state of awareness, you will recognise the illusion of the power that your thoughts had over you. It is important to reach a state where you can see that your thinking is only a process going on inside you; it is not the real you.
There are some modifications you can use to enhance the meditation — for instance, vocalising sounds during the out-breath. The sound ‘OM’, or similar, has been used by people for a very long time to create a resonance in their bodies that helps them to meditate. I added this to the out-breath and it felt good. As I practised, the sound started to change, and simply went to ‘Mmmmmm’. Use the sound that resonates with you the most. I also noticed that different pitches and notes can make a difference. I found that I was naturally attracted to a particular note, and after some research it turned out to be F# (F Sharp). I got a stronger sensation of resonance in my body when humming this note, which also helped with the stillness at the end of the out-breath. I found that changing where in my body the noise came from, made a difference too. You can generate sound in your throat, chest, and diaphragm, and anywhere in between. Either way, I felt a much deeper connection to Creation when using this deeper-down sound from the diaphragm (deep in my body) to create resonance. My relaxation went deeper also. 
Try taking longer in-breaths, as they will give you the opportunity to resonate with the sound for longer. I believe that in moments of resonance and silence, we are open to receiving information and guidance from universal influence, our guides. I often have strong insights after these meditations. Try it for yourself and enjoy the process. Like anything that you are learning for the first time, this meditation takes practice. Fundamentally, it is a simple exercise to help you recognise that peace from your thinking mind is at least available to you at any time. Do not punish yourself or struggle with the process if you don’t find any exercise easy at first. Forgive yourself immediately. It is that very internal struggle that you are trying to escape. You need to let go of it to relax, rather than relaxing to let go of it. 
There is another, more extreme form of meditation I have just recently discovered, which I have found to be very effective for achieving deep relaxation and stillness. I often do this process before I do the simple process above. 
 	Sit somewhere comfortable and upright, with your back straight. 
 	Start breathing in and out as deeply and as fast as is comfortable for you. Breathe as if you have just completed a very strenuous run and are fighting to fill your lungs with oxygen. If you have any medical issues or concerns, it’s your responsibility to make sure you will be ok doing this exercise!
 	Do this for about fifty in-and-out breaths (or as many as you can do). Do more if you choose, without causing yourself to pass out. 
 	Breathe as if you are totally out of breath, with that same urgency to fill your body and brain with oxygen. 
 	You’re basically going to breathe in and out like this until you start to experience that sense of dizziness or the slight buzzing that comes from over-oxygenating the brain. 
 	Then stop, relax and breathe normally. 
 	Allow the silence to descend in the same way as after the previous breathing exercise.
You may not wish to continue breathing immediately, as your body and brain will be totally oxygenated. This pause provides the opportunity for a longer period of silence. You can perform this deep-breathing exercise in cycles, and stay in this state for hours if you choose to. Breathe harder for longer to go deeper if you like. This exercise also helps to still the mind if you’re having trouble getting to sleep. Oxygen quietens the thinking mind. Breathe deeply as often as you can, no matter what you are doing, or where you are during the day, especially if you are in a stressful situation. We often shorten our breathing when we get stressed and that causes more stress in the body. You must have heard the saying “Take a deep breath before you react” because this obviously helps to engender calmness. Remember also that whenever you meditate, hold the intent to be clear and more relaxed in order that you may serve others better, and you can also consciously command the body and mind to relax.
Meditation also allows you to experience anything you would like to experience without having to be actually physically present or doing it. With enough practice, you can learn to meditate into any experience, or even any object, that you like. If, for instance, you want to know what it is like to stand at the top of a tall building and look over the edge, but are too afraid to physically do it, you can meditate yourself into that situation. Do so with no expectations of what it will be like, and you can experience it as if it is real, but from a place of safety. Remember, the mind does not know the difference between what you actually experience and what you vividly imagine. Use that ability and use the openness and insightfulness of meditation to experience what the mind may not yet have experienced directly. It’s an interesting exercise when you have never done it before. Again, the more you practise, the better you will get. 

Now for something really interesting...

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A Very Special Meditation

This meditation might sound strange to you to start with, but when you have practised it a few times, you will truly realise its value. I remember a time I showed this to a friend who came to me in a great deal of mental conflict and suffering. He did not want coaching because of his own resistance to such methods, and without exception, coaching or counselling should not take place without the permission of the person being coached. He just wanted advice, which is not the same as coaching, so I simply gave him a meditation to do if he wished. He laughed at me when I told him what to do. However, over the next few days, his suffering and torment became so bad that he decided to have a go at it. He came back to me a couple of weeks later and said he couldn’t believe the difference it had made — the peace he had experienced and the knock-on effect it had had with himself and his family was great. At that point, he asked me to coach him. I helped him out of crisis quickly and his life is drastically different now, simply because he started the process by doing this meditation, which opened him up to more.
The meditation is reasonably simple, but requires a certain level of conscious concentration (meditation) and focus to start with, and of course takes practice. You will be using thinking concentration to bring you into the moment to start with, and then letting go of thought to move away from thinking. These instructions will make more sense when you understand the meditation and have truly experienced it. 
 	Choose a room that is about twenty-five feet long (about 6 meters), or wherever is available to you, preferably with no obstacles that are impossible to crawl over. Yes, I did say crawl.
 	Make sure you disconnect your phones, turn off your mobile phone, television and radio, and make sure you’re not going to be disturbed for at least half an hour. If you need to keep to a time limit, or want to be aware of when half an hour is up, I suggest you set a ‘quiet’ alarm clock. Cover it or put it in a drawer, so you will only just hear the alarm without being startled. That way, you can forget about the distraction of time and just be in the moment. 
 	Now, start at one side of the room, on your hands and knees. You are going to crawl to the other side of the room. 
 	Here’s the unusual bit. You’re going to take at least half an hour to do so. If your room is only half the size recommended, go up and back. Crawl as slowly as you absolutely possibly can, with your attention totally focused on the physical experience of every part of this crawl.  Do not be drawn into what you think about the crawl. 
 	Pay attention to when you are focusing on your thoughts: if you notice you are thinking, immediately step out of your thoughts by focusing totally on the external physical experience of what you are doing in that single moment only. Do not concern yourself with where you’re going to next, how far you have come, how far you have to go, how much time has passed or is left to go. These questions are the mind measuring and trying to get you back into thinking to keep control of you. 
 	Focus totally on the physical sensations occurring in each part of your body that you can put your attention on in any moment: your breathing; smells; the texture of the carpet or floor covering, both against your hands and knees; the feel of your clothes on your skin on the different parts of your body; the temperature and the motion of air across the hairs on your skin. Focus on the sounds you hear, including the sound of your breathing, without thinking about them or judging. Notice the sensation of each muscle you need to use to make the movement you’re making right that second. At all times, do this with no judgement, without focusing on any thought at all. You are basically trying to bring yourself into the moment, to immerse yourself in the total physical experience of each single minute activity as a whole, without thinking about it. As you progress, you will experience the present moment more and more through your right brain, which brings you more into the experience of the moment. Your vibration will also change to a more peace-inducing frequency, where most of the left-brain thoughts become filtered out by the change in vibration. 
 	Every time you catch yourself thinking, bring yourself back to the physical experience of the moment. Use the heavy breathing exercise as a warm-up meditation if you choose, and use the still-breath exercise while doing the crawl if you wish or need to.

If you have the time, I suggest doing this exercise for longer than half an hour. You can turn around and come back again several times until your alarm goes off. The size of the room does not matter; it is the time spent and focus given to this endeavour that will give you freedom from your thinking mind. If you have sore knees, wear some soft pads or choose a soft floor. Once you become practised at this exercise, you will be able to recognise the peaceful state you are in during this meditation. You might also start to recognise how often you are not present in the moment during the rest of your day, due to living in your virtual-reality thinking and imagining loop that keeps you out of the present moment. By not being present in the moment, I mean thinking and imagining things that have nothing to do with the present moment, or evaluating the moment rather than simply experiencing it. It does not really matter if you are only present in the moment a few times during the meditation. Just, when you can, become aware of how your thinking mind distracts you. The more awareness you have of this, the more choice you will eventually have over whether to interact with how it is thinking or not. This is a learning process as well as a relaxation process.
Your thinking mind will run through completely imaginary scenarios as often as possible just to keep you in your thinking and imaging VR loop and out of the present. You may be thinking of the past, the future, past or future conversations, dialogues with yourself or others, work or jobs that need doing and so on and on and on. Anything that has nothing to do with what you’re actually experiencing right now, does not belong in your experience of this moment. Let them go. Spending time in this loop is the cause of many of the problems in your life; you can only do what is right in front of you in any moment. During the crawling meditation, you might also start to experience a sense of happiness that you may not have experienced before, perhaps rarely. If you experience discomfort emotionally, stick with the feeling of it without adding a story to it or trying to adjust it, and without indulging in creating a meaning for it. Let it run its course and release with no thought being added to it. If I had said to you before you read about or experienced this meditation that the way out of your internal conflict suffering was to simply get on the floor and crawl around slowly for half an hour, you would probably have laughed at me. I probably would have laughed or dismissed it a few years ago too, but not anymore. 
To couples that want to increase the quality of their sexual encounters or physical intimacy, I suggest that they both do this meditation immediately before engaging in intimacy. They should start in different parts of the house, so they can have their own experience without distracting each other. Do this meditation for at least half an hour to an hour before an encounter. Approach the encounter in the same way you did the meditation, slowly, intentionally, focused only on the experience. Be totally in tune with the physical experience, moment by moment, and the sensations that come from this experience. Stay out of your thoughts and your thinking as much as you are able. You will experience a level of physical pleasure and connectedness immediately afterwards that you may never have experienced together before, or maybe even at all. Too many people have sexual encounters whilst being in their heads, without truly experiencing the sensations of the body. These, I call thinking orgasms. Although easier to achieve for most, they are nowhere near as powerful as truly connected, experiential, energetic orgasms. By the way (especially guys), try to make the experience or encounter last at least as long as the meditation did. This is just one of the benefits that can come from becoming totally aware of the physical experiences of being present in the moment. 
If you overeat, you may also eat less after this meditation because you will not need the sense of comfort eating may give you. You will also be more aware of what your body is telling you about its needs, such as when you are full. This is a very unique form of meditation that I have used many times. It really does help you become aware of the numerous ways your thinking mind distracts you from the true experience of the moment. From this exercise, you can learn awareness of your thinking patterns and processes. Awareness brings choice, and choice brings freedom. One of the ways out of the thinking mind is through your physical form. So practise experiencing your ‘physical’ life as much as possible — and by that I don’t mean you should use sex as a tool to achieve this.
There is a final meditation I want to point you towards, which was taught to me by a great teacher I met in Fiji, Sri Krishna Raj. He was awakened and running courses for Oneness at just 18 years of age. He is the voice and energy on the Chakra meditation CD called the Chakra Dhyana (see Recommended Resources). This meditation has had a huge impact on people. I highly recommend using it for relaxation and to raise your level of vibration on a regular basis. Perhaps it will help you on your journey to blossom into awakening.

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How To Be Truly Spiritual

Living ‘authentically’ as your true self, in the present moment, is the biggest part of being truly aware and at one. It means being totally comfortable with yourself, no matter what your critical self, triggered by measurement of the public identity, or anybody else thinks. Spirituality, being open, aware and truly conscious, means being able to step away from internal struggle, and when you must interact with thought, choosing to direct the mind to think in a way that allows you to feel good. You are free to engage the thinking mind when you need to and then step away again so that you are less susceptible to its influence. It means to live in the moment, to be present and able to fully experience everything that is available to you in that moment. The act of doing anything can be a spiritual experience. Unfortunately, when the thinking mind has control, it consumes all of your attention and takes you out of the actual experience and into its projected version of reality it wants you to experience. 
Many people think that correct thought during an experience will make it spiritual and somehow elicit bliss. Bliss is not an experience of the thinking mind. Therefore, as long as you’re thinking about it, you won’t truly experience the feelings you are longing for, although higher level thought can certainly bring you closer to the possibility of experiencing it. Bliss, happiness and joy come from experiencing events, situations and interactions, not thinking about them. Satisfaction is the best you can expect to feel if you fully live through the thinking mind. Being able to focus on something, anything, and have it be all that exists, and experiencing everything about whatever has your full attention, in a fresh and joyous way, no matter how many times that thing has had your focus in the past, is a truly spiritual experience.
Being truly spiritual is about living in the moment and actually experiencing life as it happens, without measurement or judgement of the external world or the constructed self, accepting your illusion of self and your different personalities, and living from that truth every moment you can. This comes about to start with through focusing only on what will help you feel good and uplifted in any moment. The experience of eating an apple or drinking a nice glass of juice can be a totally spiritual experience when nothing else exists for you, and you are not thinking about it (and therefore not measuring it), just experiencing it. As long as your thinking mind is not influencing your perception of the moment, part of being spiritual is doing exactly what you enjoy, no matter what it is. If there is a Karmic cost to that action, then so be it. What I am about to say has to be understood clearly — I am not inciting selfishness. You must first learn to completely honour yourself. When you do this honestly, you will be surprised at how much you want to give and serve others. First, however, you have to have something to give. Learning to care for yourself is an early step that you must take, so honour yourself first from a place of self-acceptance and humility.
This takes being real and true to yourself — sometimes at the cost of others’ feelings, but never with the intent to hurt them. It is important that you are clear on this: honouring yourself needs to include an element of conscience and compassion; it is not a license to hurt people. Bottom line, it’s a matter of honouring your truth before the truth or needs of others. If you make a promise to someone and find that something else has come up that is more important to you, be able to say “I’m sorry, but I can’t keep my promise now” instead of sacrificing yourself. Be totally comfortable with your decision. This is honouring yourself first. Some may say that you should not make promises that you might break. I say there is absolutely nothing wrong with making promises that you mean to keep at the time you made the promise, but find that a later date that you cannot keep the promise for one reason or another. There may be a Karmic cost if your intent is not pure, but being true to yourself first is at the heart of being truly spiritual. This is totally the opposite of what most people think being spiritual is about. Many people believe that being spiritual is all about self-sacrifice and never doing or saying anything wrong, and being able to meditate or feel energy. This may be so when you become awakened, but if you are not, then these will be actions with an ulterior motive that are about the self. Anyone can do those things with a modicum of practice and the reason. That image is just a mental construct of what a spiritual person should look, feel, or sound like. To a point, there is some truth in those definitions, but being truly in the service of others is only possible when you have reached the highest level of self-acceptance first — when you are totally comfortable with yourself with no internal conflict. Most people are nowhere near this point, and especially a lot of people who would like you to believe they are. 
You need to start by taking the journey towards total self-acceptance, not acceptance by others, and truly honouring and valuing yourself from a place of compassion and humility. Appreciate where and who you truly are, not where or what you want to pretend you are, or even what you want to be. I’m not talking about pursuing your own needs to the exclusion of others’, but rather prioritise: meet your needs before the needs of others in a caring and supportive way, and with integrity. When you reach a much higher level of conscious awareness, your needs will actually become meeting the needs of others as much as possible, with no expectation of anything in return, not even a real or assumed pat on the back. You will be able to help others without sacrificing yourself. And you won’t be doing it to be thought of in any particular way by others, or yourself. A lot of people think that they are at this level of awareness already because they do everything they can to meet the needs of others. However, most of the time they are just doing this to get something in return one way or another (to feel good about themselves) or by being a pleaser, and doing what will please others, which is victim-hood and public identity combined. Be very mindful that you are not coming from this place.
Being spiritual means accepting yourself no matter how you perceive yourself to be. If you’re a liar, accept that you’re a liar, and be comfortable with that. You can manage yourself around it and make choices in the moment that may help you influence your decision to lie or not. Simply accept that this behaviour is part of you, and required by you for some reason at the moment. You will not stop yourself being a liar, not in the short term at least, so the only way out of torment about it is to accept it and then make the conscious choice to be honest when you can, and practise doing so as often as possible. There may be a Karmic cost, but there is a Karmic cost or credit to everything we do, and all the ensuing ripples. When you are at peace and happy, you are far more likely to make choices and decisions that will generate a Karmic credit than if you are unhappy with yourself, and therefore reactive. I am absolutely not saying that lying should be seen as a good tool. I’m talking about accepting this behaviour, or any others, as part of your approach towards yourself and others right now. 
If you can be happy despite being a liar, cheat, thief, or many other things that may be considered the wrong way to be, you will have a much better life than if you try to punish this behaviour out of yourself, or if you remain disappointed or upset with yourself all the time. The low level perception of yourself this will generate or support will just cause you to continue using low level behaviours and personalities The low level of perception about yourself that this will generate or support, will just cause you to continue using low level behaviours towards yourself and others. The same goes for any behaviour. Self-acceptance is the cure. In fact, when you have true self-acceptance, you may actually stop using the behaviours you are not totally comfortable with right now. When you no longer need that behaviour to meet your needs, your thinking vibration will rise, and so will your behavioural and memory vibration. Eventually, you will reach a point where there is no need to lie, steal, cheat or do any of the other things that you may be struggling with yourself about. Behaviour such as lying is really about avoiding the disapproval that you believe will come from being honest about your behaviours, yourself or your perceptions. Fear of disapproval is a symptom of public identity. Therefore, when you raise your thought process to a point where the public identity is no longer required, this behaviour could simply disappear. Remember that behaviour is a tool of the personalities, and when you consciously no longer choose to use a particular behaviour, you will no longer use the personality associated to that behaviour, and visa versa.
You will also stop accessing the low-quality memories that used to drive your old unresourceful, unsupportive personalities and behaviours. Yes, I know I talked about much of this in the chapter about self-acceptance, but I think this is one of the important things that you could get from this book. True peace in your life lies on the other side of self-acceptance. When there is no inner turmoil, you become peaceful inside, regardless of situation or surroundings. The secret to inner peace is to remove the inner turmoil and struggle. (External triggers and adversaries are always going to be out of your control. However, your perception and how you perceive is not, you can always consciously choose to perceive differently in the moment and have peace.) This is highly spiritual. Everything that follows the removal of this turmoil is just a bonus. Forgiveness of oneself and others is a key to removing inner struggle, for it is through forgiveness that divine universal influence, or grace, can really reach and guide you and help you become free.
You are part of creation, or God, and you are absolutely as valuable as anyone or anything else. Honouring yourself, and treating yourself well, is honouring creation, and therefore your particular God, if you have one. Trying to be anything takes effort, and effort cannot help you become awakened or enlightened. It has to be a process of letting go, not working towards.

Spirituality is not abstinence from pleasure, it is the embracing of life in all its forms. Older experienced all extremes and abstinences and settled in the middle.

We get an insight and try to force the experience, when it is actually experiencing that brings the insight.

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How To Measure Your Spiritual Growth

How happy are you? How comfortable are you with yourself? How at peace with yourself are you when somebody triggers you? How do you feel when you disapprove of something you perceive about yourself or your behaviours, or when someone criticises you? Truly? If you lie about these in any way, you are not happy with yourself as you are. If you are honest about it, you at least have an opportunity to move beyond the perceptions about yourself that cause you discomfort. If you’re dishonest with yourself, you have no escape. The only real way to measure your spiritual growth is to look inside to see how comfortable you are being your ‘authentic self’ in every moment, regardless of outside events, stimuli, judgements, or perceptions, and regardless of what your internal public identity image says you should be like. 
How comfortable are you with yourself, no matter what anybody else has to say about you, even in spite of what good opinions others might have of you? How comfortable are you in comparison with how you perceive others around you? The fact is, if you are comparing, you are not totally comfortable with yourself. You cannot be, or you would have no need to measure yourself against others. How nice is your internal conversation? How enjoyable is it? Forget how serene you can be or appear to others in any moment, or what you can teach, or how spiritually you dress, or how well you can meditate. How do you treat yourself internally on a consistent basis?
Your spiritual growth is about your own personal growth, your perception of yourself, and your comfort with your perceived level of self-worth and your self-esteem at any time. Are you genuinely more comfortable with yourself than you were yesterday, last week, or last month? That is how you measure your spiritual growth. We all have an equal opportunity to grow in awareness. Ultimately, our progress has little to do with the outside world, although reacting or responding to external stimuli usually contributes to the way most people will get to grow. When you can live without the need for public identity — when you can be totally accepting of yourself and therefore others — you will be a joy to be around. Unfortunately, if you do not feel happiness being around yourself all the time, then spiritual growth through self-acceptance is the only answer. You will never find the solutions in the approval of others or forcing yourself to conform to your internal public identity image. Thinking yourself into being spiritual, or appearing to be so, is not the answer, and never will be for anyone, no matter how many people try to do it, or how many believe them. You can only grow spiritually by being and accepting your authentic self. By doing so you will realise that you are far more than you ever imagined. I promise you.

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What Is Awakening? - Awakening Is Not A Thought Process

The biggest obstacle to spiritual growth is what you ‘think’ enlightenment will be like. Most people nowadays have a mental construct of what spirituality looks, sounds and feels like, and what a spiritual person should act like. Some also have the illusion that it will help them escape themselves. The ‘fake it till you make it’ concept might work for thinking-mind pursuits in the physical world, but it cannot work for experiencing awakened or enlightened. Some seek enlightenment as a way of avoiding taking responsibility for the process of self-acceptance. They think self-acceptance comes through enlightenment, but it is the other way around. Some people hope that if enlightenment can do it for them, then they don’t need to take responsibility for progressively growing in awareness. This cannot happen. The responsibility of yourself is in your own hands whether you like it or not.

Your desire for spiritual enlightenment binds your mind and brings you restlessness. To become enlightened, you must first be free from the need to perceive yourself, or be perceived, as awakened or enlightened. Stop looking for it, or pretending to have it, so you are free for it to find you.	

I have tried all of these methods at one time or another to try to ‘get there’, so to speak. Now I can clearly see that my efforts and cravings were stopping me from moving to the next level. It’s really important that you understand the inverse results of trying to reach enlightenment through thinking your way there. The problem that comes with pretending to be something that you don’t truly believe you already are is that you are telling yourself that you’re not good enough as you are, or that you are inadequate in some way. This proves that you do not have true self-acceptance, and will cause your self-esteem, integrity and confidence to diminish, not grow, as your public identity will tell you it will. 
All you are striving for is already there for you to experience. However, while you search in the wrong places and try to make it happen, you will never experience it. It is like wanting to forget about the time so you can relax, yet constantly looking at your watch. Or trying to criticise, disrespect or abuse yourself into self-acceptance. It’s impossible to experience what you want to experience because you’re continuing to do what’s causing the problem in the first place. I want you to be able to genuinely move to your next level of awareness, so you can help to raise collective consciousness. The more people who genuinely do become awakened, the more we can raise the vibration of the whole population, and this then can help create true change in the world. 
I believe a ‘seeker’ is someone who is trying to escape the mind to be able to reconnect with divine universal creation, because they instinctively know that this is the only way to experience genuine peace. However, using the thinking mind to escape the thinking mind makes it impossible to achieve that goal. When you are thinking your connection to universal consciousness, or source, and think you experience it, it can’t be real. The thinking mind is made of matter, and is only designed to know matter. Thinking about how not to think just cannot work.

The thinking mind will have you believe that knowledge = enlightenment. It does not. If what you learn does not help you view yourself in a more uplifting way or change your perception of yourself, others and life, then it is just more information, more data, more to think about. The mind can become obsessed with knowledge, but knowledge and intelligence are different. There was once a physicist and a toothbrush salesman on the train. Now most would assume a physicist is more intelligent than any salesman. A window sprung open above the physicist and the rain came in and started to wet him. When he tried to close the window, the pin that help slide the latch closed was gone. The physicists spend ages trying to work out how the window could be closed using all his knowledge, whilst getting rained on. The toothbrush salesman simply got up from his seat, took a toothpick from his pocket, put it into the hole in the latch and closed it. Knowledge does not equal intelligence. Only the experience is important, the knowing, not the knowledge. The constant categorising and description of things using knowledge also creates a lot of inner noise and turmoil and feeds the need for certainty and more knowledge. Use knowledge to build a plane, and then get into the plane and experience flying, without labelling any of it, or letting the knowledge or the need for more knowledge interfere with the experience. 
Externally in our knowledge has allowed us to progress greatly. Nowadays even a small house can have as much luxury as a palace used to have. However that knowledge is not helped us progress internally in the same way. Although we have become more aware of the lack of internal revolution beyond suffering, we still try to use knowledge to become free of the suffering that the need for understanding and knowledge creates.

Knowing everything about everything spiritual will not help you to awaken, unless it helps to raise your true perception of yourself, your level of self-acceptance, and your quality of reasoning.	

Someone who is short tempered and rude before awakening will more than likely be short tempered and rude after awakening, if awakening can take place. However after awakening, there will be no venom or poison in the attitude of the person, this will just be a conditioned approach with no negative concept of self fuelling it.

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Physical Life and Physical Death

To our life force, soul, or spirit, dying is like water evaporating. While water is in a liquid form, it vibrates at a certain frequency, and therefore you can see it. When it evaporates, it turns into another form because it is vibrating at a different frequency, which becomes invisible to the naked eye. Death is just a thinking-mind word that describes the concept of dying because this is how the thinking mind sees the process. It views death as the end of itself, and therefore believes that it must be the end for you as well. Life and death, as they are usually described, are just the beginning and end of this particular physical form you have chosen or had chosen for you, in which to experience this physical adventure from within, and through. 
The ‘beginning’ and ‘end’ are also just thinking-mind terms, because there is no beginning and no end. The spirit is vibrating life-force energy, which moves on to the next part of its evolutionary journey, and the body is flesh, matter which converts to another form of matter. None of it ends; it just changes. Do not fear death. You higher self existed before, it is now, and it will continue to be. Your higher self that is directly connected to the source of universal awareness cannot die. The person that you experience as your identity resides in your thinking mind concept of yourself, nothing more. You came from the formless and you will return to the formless, with no loss of continuity. There is no death, just transition.
Consider the example of the death of a caterpillar and the emergence of a butterfly. Because you can see this so-called death as the transition that it is, you don’t mourn the caterpillar. You are happy for it, because you can visually see its next evolutionary vibrational stage, therefore you just rejoice in the emergence of the butterfly. You understand, because your mind can see it, that this is just part of its transition to becoming a more beautiful being. Its death creates joy for the observer because they can see the beauty that comes from this transition. Why would you believe that the transition of a physical life form from this world to its next existence would be any different? We don’t die. We transition and evolve, so we should be joyful for those who have transitioned and evolved.
There are three guarantees in this physical experience for all of us: we are physically born into this experience; during the experience, things constantly change; and at the end, we leave this experience physically. None of these stages can be avoided. Remember whenever you are stuck in your situation or predicament that there is always going to be change. For you as well as everyone else, change happens one way or another, guaranteed — and always for the better in the long run, although it may not be obvious at the time. You can of course consciously speed up that shift by using your free-will (Conscious choice) in the ways I have described in this book.

If you are truly not afraid to die, then you truly won’t be afraid to live.	

If you do not believe there is anything after so-called death, then I suggest that this existence called life is probably quite scary for your thinking mind to endure. When you can truly comprehend that there is no death of the true self, that it’s only a transition, you will be free to live without fear. Fear is the name given to the imagined experience of the unknown, or the imagined assumption of a bad outcome.
I also believe that between lives we do not go back completely to the source, The One. The return to the source takes multiple existences in one form or another, moving up through evolutionary awareness until reintegration. We must complete our journey of learning before we are ready to reintegrate with The One. Where we go between lives, although it is in part closer to the source, is also a combination of the energies carried from this life, and the energies that we will encounter in the next incarnation. This crossover zone, or way-station, in itself carries a much higher vibration than physical reality. The middle ground between this life and the next keeps us in energetic balance with where we need to be in order to move into the next experience on our journey without too much of a shift. While we are in a physical incarnation, we cannot have access to the knowledge we have accumulated through experiences in previous incarnations. That knowledge would affect this incarnation, and we would not be able to have the experiences in the way that we need to have them as this particular physical being. Our nature was conceived in the series of energies that combined when we entered this physical form. Access to all knowledge and experience would mean there would be little point to having this physical experience in the first place. There would be far less learned, and I believe that is the true purpose of life — to learn, grow and evolve, as we have through every incarnation.

Near-Death Experiences

I recently listened to a lot of debate about experiences people have had during near-death encounters. I personally believe there is an answer that might fit both sides of the debate. One side argues they are a figment of imagination whilst the other side says it is a real experience. I believe that when we physically die, the trauma of an instant separation from the body can cause a problem if, or when, we come back into the physical world again to continue our journey. Therefore, to ease the experience, our higher mind is pre-programmed with part of the transition out of this physical world. Since this program is part of the higher mind, the experience can be virtually identical in form for almost everyone. 
Of course, the thinking mind is powerful enough to manipulate the experience while it still has physical life running through it, which may explain the differences experienced by some people when compared with the majority of near-death experiences. In their detail, however, they are virtually all the same. Some scientists have argued that because they can use magnetic fields around the head to elicit similar experiences, near-death experiences are just figments of the imagination caused by the physical changes and not at all the beginning of a transition into another dimension. I disagree. This study shows that there is a pre-programmed portion of that journey already installed in our operating system, perhaps in the operating system in our DNA. That program is simply what the scientists are triggering. 

In a closed system, energy is not created or destroyed, 
it is merely transferred.  -- Einstein	

The universe wastes nothing. We do not die, we simply transition and evolve. That is the way life has always been and that is how it will continue. Learn the rules and yoy will have a far greater experience of your reality. You deserve it.

sfddf

Sacredness

Living ‘

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Conclusion

I am going to use the conclusion to highlight the main points in the book so that you have a feel for how it all fits together. That way, after reading the whole book at least once, if you are in need of direction, you can look to this section for awareness and inspiration, so that you can feel good or better on a regular basis, or to inspire you to read the book again. If you read it completely every couple of months, it will change your perception of life and the things you get to experience! You deserve every bit of happiness you experience. My love and gratitude go out to you for helping to raise the collective consciousness through your desire to grow. Know you are a very special person.
To start with, I trust that you now know that you are already co-creating the life you have. If you are honest with yourself, you know you have the quality of life right now, and the experiences that you truly believe you deserve and expect to have. If you didn’t truly expect to have this feeling experience of your life, it would not be so. Honesty about your approach to yourself and your life is the very first step to creating the life you want. Hope is not a strategy, and relying only on luck is not a good strategy, especially if you are not creating good luck. I believe it was Tiger Woods who said, “The more I practise, the luckier I seem to get.” Bear this approach and attitude in mind and practise directing your thinking to choose supportive approaches in any situation and focus only on thoughts that cause you to feel good. 
Approach events, situations and interactions in a way that will allow you to feel good. The only aspects of your life that you can truly change at will, if you have a high enough level of awareness, is your approach, and this creates your perception of your reality. Self-acceptance will bring you the single biggest shift in the quality of your life. You must always take part in your own rescue in any moment by consciously directing your mind to help you experience better choices. Personal responsibility and your commitment to feeling good are paramount to experiencing constant growth and uplifting change.
The experience of the present moment will set you free. The only obstacle that is actually disempowering you is that you think too much, and in an unsupportive way. You will engage in thought when there is absolutely no reason to, when you could be experiencing a different reality, by being truly present in the moments of your life, and experiencing what is only right in front of you in those moments. Remember that the quality of your life is the quality of your emotional experience of your perceived reality. This moment you are in now is all that exists for you in this physical reality; all other moments are either part of your memory of what has gone before, or your imagined illusion of what may come in your future. Both will take you out of this moment and away from your ability to experience true happiness. When you are actually experiencing the present moment and all it holds for you, and there is no physical threat, you can feel happy. When you can be truly present, you do not need to function through thought in the same way. Choose how you want to perceive your reality using a new awareness of your choices. Decide to feel however you want to feel, approach any situation in a way that will create those feelings and accept nothing less from your life without causing yourself stress through judgement over your progress or inability to do so.
Recognise that the thoughts that run through your mind are not going to become your experience of reality until you focus on them, breathe life into them, and make them your own. They are just thoughts passing through your mind in the form of vibrating electrical energy. Many are not even your thoughts and will not become so until you pick them out and focus on them, or they get your attention. When you become attached to them, they start to be experienced as real. Simply allow your thoughts to pass through and do not interact with them unless by choice. Start becoming the witness to your thought process. By that, I mean start watching your thoughts without interacting with them using processes like measurement and judgement. Step back from them in your mind and watch as each one is replaced in turn by another in your constant flow of thoughts. Then you can watch others appear and replace them. Anyone who has a level of self-awareness will be able to do this. The more frequently you practise, the more clearly you will be able to see the thinking patterns and approaches that have bound you for most of your life.
Remember that we have more than one mind — it is the thinking mind to which you have become enslaved. Take back your experience of reality by choosing the things you think about and the approaches you take in every moment of your conscious life. Since you experience what you focus on, choose your thoughts based on how you want to experience. The thinking mind is a tool for you to use to improve the quality of your life. It was never meant to ruin the quality of your life and cause you unhappiness. I genuinely believe it was not meant to take over your experience of reality in the way it has. Always be mindful that the thinking mind is primarily a pain-avoidance mechanism — it is always predisposed to look at events, situations and interactions from the perspective of what threat, pain and suffering they could possibly or probably bring. If you are not consciously directing your approach and your thoughts in a way that allows you to feel good, then your thinking mind will subconsciously choose your most common approach and focus on any potential threats that your imagination tells it could cause you pain. You must intend to feel good consistently by directing your conscious thinking approach, and you must practise for long enough that this state of awareness becomes normal (and even then you must consciously be mindful of how your thoughts can affect you). Unless you do so, you’re automatically going to get the approaches and therefore the experiences the subconscious mind chooses for you.
With memory, it is important to know you are only remembering the last time you remembered something, not the actually event, which was only actually a representation of how you perceived your reality at that time. Depending on your state each time you remember an event, situation or interaction, your thinking mind will adjust the perceived memory in some way, based on how you consistently create your perception. You may alter stories by embellishing them or making them better or worse, or you may change the emotions you attached to your experience of those memories at the time of remembering them. Be mindful that virtually all of the emotions you experience when you are bringing these memories to life are created in the moment you are remembering them by your quality and process of perception at the time. 
You’re not remembering the emotions you experienced at the time, which were only generated by your perception at the time anyway. Rather, you’re taking the data of the perceived situation from your memory banks and creating a reality around it right now. You do not need to go into the past to change how you feel about your past, or about yourself based on your past — you just need to change your perception of yourself and your approach to yourself and life right now. Remember, now is the only time you can actually change anything. You cannot change the past, any more than you can change your shirt in the past or the future (you can imagine doing it in the future, but you can only actually do anything right now). When you change your perception of yourself and how you view the world now, everything changes, because ‘everything’ was only ever based on your perception anyway. Change your approach to yourself and to events or situations and how you perceive now and all your version of reality changes now.
When you hurt someone, you affect yourself. If you hurt someone, you will feel pain whether you want to or not, and whether you notice or not. If you help someone to feel happy, you will feel good. How do you want to feel? When you judge another, you only affect yourself. Your judgement will not affect them unless you voice it and they’re already judging themselves in the same way. If you must judge someone, find a judgement that will raise their esteem in your eyes. Find a good judgement of the kind that if they knew of it, they would feel good. You don’t even need to tell them. Ask yourself, “What can I like about this person and what could I praise them for?” 
Do this even if you perceive them as your enemy. Yes, this could be thought of as being hard, but the rewards to yourself are incalculable. If you can’t think of anything to praise them for, put yourself in their position. If somebody were criticising them to you, and you were defending them, what would you say about them in their defence? How could you describe what is worth liking about them, or their approach to life? You may find you come up with points you would not have thought about coming from any other direction. Now, try that strategy with yourself as the object of your attention. 
Cultivate and practise thoughts and approaches that do not require control or attachment: caring thoughts that create a higher vibration within you. Higher quality reasoning accesses much higher levels of approaches, information, intelligence, and experience of life, so you can find a way to feel good. Think uplifting, inspiring, selfless thoughts rather than selfish or self-destructive thoughts. Focus on ‘we’ thoughts rather than ‘me’ thoughts (as long as you are taking care of and honouring yourself first). Avoid thoughts that create internal conflict, struggle, torment, or even discomfort. Instead, consciously focus on thoughts of compassion and caring, of love and understanding, where the meaning you apply through your approach, focus and reasoning gives you a reason to feel good. 
Show support and love for others without the level of thought that brings pity, discomfort or turmoil. Embrace a way of approaching anything with a quality of thinking and reasoning that always looks for the good in people, for the best outcome, and for the learning experience in any situation. Most of all, practise the level of thinking and reasoning that finds the best in you all of the time, and from a non-public identity perspective! Also, the higher the quality of your thoughts approaches and reasoning, the fewer thoughts you tend to have. ‘True fulfilment’ comes from helping others to be happy. When you bring happiness to others, you cannot help but be happy. Even if you are drawn t0 do so for selfish reasons, bring happiness to others. It is at least a higher vibrational pursuit. 
Honestly praise anyone at any opportunity, including yourself. This approach will in turn cause you to feel good, even if the other person doesn’t know about it. If they receive wealth, feel good for them. If they achieve their goals, feel good for them, and if possible celebrate with them. If they have something you perhaps don’t have, be pleased for them. Whatever approach causes you to feel negative emotions about someone, find a new approach and a way to view them in a way that creates a positive emotion about them for you. It really is possible. Generous and compassionate thoughts will allow you to feel good. Any other judgement will actually create discomfort in you, and you will not feel good. After all, how do you want to feel? Good? Great? Fantastic? Then do the things that will cause you to feel that way! A higher-level thinking process creates happiness that is not dependent on circumstances. Instead, your mood at any time depends on your approach and consciously directing your mind towards a feel-good outcome and making a commitment to feeling good, especially about yourself. 
Avoid low-quality thoughts like anger, jealousy, bitterness, pity, separateness, aloneness, persecution, destruction, punishment, retribution, revenge, insecurity, hostility, neediness, intolerance, selfishness, disruptiveness, victimisation, impatience, panic or violence without physical threat, boastfulness, callousness, or criticism of yourself or others. In short, avoid any approach that generates disempowering thoughts that bring with them discomfort, dis-ease, struggle, conflict, torment and ultimately suffering. Your perception of your core identity (your self-image and perceived potential) comes from how you define yourself, which is based on how you perceived yourself to be in your past, because of your perception of your past, and the events, situations and interactions that were presented to you. Your thinking mind created your original beliefs about yourself and the external world through the feedback, ideas and information it perceived that it encountered, whether these were actually based on truth or not. It will even imagine scenarios about what it must avoid so it can do its job and protect you, and you must experience them as being real in your memory of life. This process continues to happen all through your life. This all came about because you were not consciously choosing your approach to yourself and how you wanted to think and feel about yourself. 
Your thinking mind was just doing what it was designed to do, which is look for evidence to support anything that it can imagine and assume, simply because it wants to find the threat in any situation and protect you. If the thinking mind hears, sees, or experiences anything more than once, it assumes it must be real, and therefore looks for evidence to support it, based on its assumption that it is real, which of course it will find evidence for, even if it has to imagine it. So use this ability in your favour: decide what kind of uplifting and supportive beliefs you want to have about yourself, and let your mind start looking for evidence to support them. Your mind will automatically go looking and will find evidence, as long as you actually expect to find evidence to support this quest and believe you deserve supportive answers.
Your true expectations will set your approach and focus, which then dictates how you look at anything, and if undirected, will simply support your original expectations in that area. Look at the evidence of your outcomes, and they will tell you what type of expectations and approach you started with, what type of focus, and also the meaning (story) you must be telling yourself about what you are perceiving to get that emotional outcome. This will give you the awareness you need about your true expectations of yourself, others and life. When you change your perceptions about yourself and others, and question your disempowering beliefs and expectations in a way that causes them to change, your expectations of yourself and how the world will interact with you will automatically change. Remember that your perceived potential in any area of your life is a combination of your perception of your self-worth, plus your beliefs and your true expectations associated with that area of your life. 
Change your potential by changing your approach and catching yourself doing things in a supportive way, and treating yourself in the way you would genuinely like to be treated, and how you would like to treat those you care deeply about. Accept compliments and frequently give them to yourself and others from a genuine and non-public-identity perspective. You will feel better about yourself. When you treat yourself as you would a beloved child that you want to see grow up happy and fulfilled, you give yourself what you may have missed out on in the early stages of your life. No one else can give this sense of belonging and fulfilment to you now, only you. By raising your perceived level of self-worth, you automatically start influencing change in your beliefs and expectations of yourself. Just remember to question those disempowering beliefs and expectations at all times, from an uplifting approach and perspective in order to expedite your growth.
Your standards really come down to how you expect to be treated (by yourself and others), and although your standards of life will change as your approaches and perception of yourself and your potential changes, in this book I only really want to focus on the standard of emotional experience that you want to experience on a regular basis. Decide on the standard of emotional experience you would like to have in any moment. Make a commitment to yourself that you want to feel that way, and then do whatever it takes to direct your thinking approaches to experience in that way, and you will change the quality of your life in ways you cannot yet imagine. You may not realise it, but you are already creating the standard of emotional experience that you get. Raise your approaches and standard of expected or desired emotional experience. Only focus on, or give your attention to, thoughts and stimuli that cause you to feel good. Alternatively, approach and focus on them in a way that allows you to perceive them differently, which is what will allow you to feel differently about them. Your focus is really just your choice of thoughts available to you based on your approach, and therefore the personality you are perceiving through. 
How you approach anything and what you focus on creates your experience of reality. If you learn nothing else from this book, really try to grasp this concept. This one lesson alone will give you the freedom to experience your life in any way you want to. Focus equals experience of reality. You not only get the experience of what you focus on, and virtually nothing else, you also get more of what you focus on, partly because you find more of what you focus on, and also because you attract more of what you focus on. If you focus on what you perceive to be wrong or bad, you will get the corresponding emotional experience of feeling bad. If you focus on what you perceive to be good or right, you will get the corresponding emotional experience of feeling good. Which would you rather experience? The choice is yours and is always available to you.
Your questions, statements, comments and stories engender your reasoning, and it will either be pessimistic or optimistic, supportive or disempowering. Choose the quality of your questions well, and always structure them in a way that causes your reasoning to look for answers you do not already have in your left-brain memory, and in a way that presupposes you are already experiencing what you’re asking for in some way. E.g. The question “How do I experience even more happiness than I am experiencing right now?” directs your reasoning to look for a way to feel happier, and also presupposes that you were already feeling happy. This will also set your reasoning off looking for why you are already happy, which will help you feel even better because the thinking mind must then find evidence to support the presumption. When it finds the reasons that fit logically with why you’re already feeling happy, it will raise your experience and you will feel even better. The same goes for your statements and incantations. 
Make sure any statement you make about yourself or others, internally or externally, are uplifting and supportive and already assume an uplifting and supportive presence within your experience of reality. If somebody asks “How are you today?” say “I’m great, thanks!” even if you don’t feel great at that moment. Your reasoning will have to go off and look for reasons why you already feel great. It will find them, even if it has to adjust information or imagine reasons to achieve this. As a result, you will feel better than you already did. Try it for a couple of weeks. I guarantee you will feel the difference, unless of course you follow your reply with moaning stories about yourself or what you perceive to be wrong in your life. Then your reasoning will go off and find reasons why you should feel like crap. If you do this, congratulations, you have just created your own misery and have no one else to credit for it.
Your reasoning is your thinking mind’s way of finding the ‘reason’ for anything you think or experience. The quality of your reasoning depends on the quality of your perceived self-worth, beliefs, expectations, focus, questions and statements. You can change the quality of your reasoning at any time during the process of thinking just by changing how you approach and focus on something, the questions you ask yourself and others, and the quality of the things you say to yourself and others. When you practise looking for a positive outcome, and get really proficient at it, your vibration rises to the point where it automatically engenders an optimistic approach and high quality reasoning. You therefore create an expectation of a good emotional outcome regularly. Ultimately, you will be able to step out of the thinking process altogether at times, and live in the moment, which will give you the ability to feel happiness and joy for no obvious reason.
Your stories cause problems if they have anything to do with what’s wrong with you, your life, or your perception of others and their lives. If you’re going to tell stories to yourself and others, make sure they are inspiring and uplifting, stories that cause you to feel good at the very least. If you are telling stories that cause you any level of discomfort at all, stop telling them. Even if you just stop telling stories altogether, you are going to feel better than you did whilst you are telling the stories. Listen carefully to the stories you tell others. When you’re describing your day, do you talk about the situations or interactions that you perceive went wrong or not in your favour, and the things that cause you to experience discomfort? Or do you talk about the experiences that you perceived helped you to feel uplifted and happy? You will get the emotional experience of the stories you tell. You also get the emotional experience of what you focus on, so if you are telling stories that imply feeling bad, it would be insane to believe that these could cause you to feel good in any quality way, shape or form. 
Gossiping is the same and is just another form of telling stories. This is usually the process of dragging others down in your perception, or in the perceptions of the person or people you’re talking with. Gossip is an attempt to feel better about yourself by comparison to others. Remember, you can have the tallest house in the street by building the biggest, or by knocking down the rest. You are indulging in knocking down the rest just so you can feel a little better about yourself in those moments when you gossip, so stop gossiping. Whether you like it or not, gossiping influences your mood and your expectations. If you’re disrespecting others, then you expect to be disrespected. If you’re supporting them and defending them in their absence, you will find it easier to believe that you will be supported and defended in your absence. Always treat others in the way you would like to be treated from an uplifting and supportive perspective. This attitude will radically change how you expect to be treated, and also how you perceive that you are treated. Without a doubt, it will improve how you treat yourself.
Know your emotional outcome - decide how you want to feel before you start your day, and only focus on those things that will allow you feel that way. My expected outcome is to feel good, happy and at peace all of the time. My focus is no longer to fix what I would have considered to be wrong with me or make myself better, or what might not go your way in your experience of life. It is my constant intention to focus my thinking only in ways that allow me to feel good. Notice when you are out of alignment with feeling good. Any time you feel bad, angry, depressed, annoyed, uncomfortable, disappointed or any other negative feelings, ask yourself, “Do I really need to feel like this, and what do I need to do or focus on to feel even better?” Then direct your mind in the ways I have taught you, so that you can experience the emotions that feel good and uplift you rather than the ones that disempower you and ruin the quality of your life.
Instead of using the old strategy of finding out what’s wrong and trying to move away from it or fix it, decide what you would like to experience instead. Start focusing on what you want, and do whatever you need to do with your approach to move towards the feeling of it. Trying to stop yourself being a certain way will never allow you to change. The approach of focusing on something to see if you’re moving away from it means that it keeps your focus and attention, which means you continue to get the emotional experience of it. Change your approach and focus onto what you do want. Don’t focus on what you ‘don’t’ want. You will always get the experience of what you focus on, so choose very wisely. This is really ‘The Secret’ to all I’ve been teaching you. Most people get what they expect to experience instead of deciding what they want to experience, and only focusing on what will help them to experience it. When you practise this enough, you can regularly experience just what you want to experience, and you will have a quality of life unknown to most around you.
We all have multiple personalities, so choose or create personalities that will serve you and support you in any moment of your life. Don’t dislike or be disappointed with the personalities you display. There is some part of each of them that has been useful in the past, and may be useful again. Instead, direct your mind to bring forward only the personalities that you choose in any moment. Do not allow your subconscious, fearful thinking mind to decide for you. 
Be wary of public identity. If you are trying to influence anyone’s perception of you in any way, or want to be perceived a certain way by yourself or others, then you are functioning through public identity. The only way to have true internal peace in your life is to close the gap between how you want to perceive yourself and how you truly do perceive yourself (how you want to be, compared to how you think you are). Remember that the difference between how you want to perceive yourself and how you do perceive yourself is equivalent to the level of internal conflict you will experience. It is also what creates self-disappointment and self-bullying, which are pointless forms of suffering. When there is no gap between how you believe you are and how you actually are, there is no internal conflict. There is only self-acceptance. I have no internal suffering at all anymore, because I accept that I am as I am. I know that how others perceive me has nothing to do with me. It’s actually none of my business. I can only be as I am, and being disappointed, or worse, with myself because I think I should be another way, is ludicrous to me now. It has given me everything I thought I would get by being different to how I was. It was self-acceptance that changed how I perceive myself — trying to be something else never worked at all.
Question all your expectations of yourself (how you think you should be) and their validity. Catch yourself doing things right — specifically, every time you do something to help yourself or others to feel good, genuinely praise yourself. Through genuine support and caring for yourself, you will change the negative perceptions you have about your self-worth. Look for all the actions that you do well and listen to and accept any compliment of any kind from others, without saying anything to them to negate the compliment or minimise it. Look for the validity of their kind viewpoint with an expectation of that compliment being true. When you do anything to try to be perceived in a certain way, you are directly telling yourself that you are not good enough the way you are. Your level of self-worth dictates how you experience yourself and everything in your life. 
If you’re constantly trying to be different to how you think you are, you are creating the problem that causes you to feel discomfort in the first place. Self-acceptance is the only solution. Try spending a week without making any attempt to influence others’ opinions or judgements about you. Also, resist teaching anyone or sharing your perceived wisdom in any way at all for that week — no matter how enticing the situation is — and see how it feels. Don’t do this in a week when you will have no interactions. Make sure it is a very busy week in which you will have many interactions and many opportunities to experience this abstinence. You are doing this exercise to help yourself relinquish your public identity, not to make it easy for it to hide, or for you to fuel it. If you can’t manage this behaviour for any length of time, you have a big problem with public identity and insecurity about yourself as you are, and how you think you are perceived, especially if you cannot attempt to influence the perceptions of others about you. Never indulge in victim-hood of any kind. You run the risk of being victimised by others if you are already being victimised by yourself. victim-hood focuses on what you perceive to be wrong, so you guarantee that you will feel bad, and you will attract more of those experiences. You get the emotional experience of what you focus on. Complaining is victim-hood, so do what you can in any moment to stop complaining. Instead, change your approach and start looking for reasons to feel good. 
How you speak to yourself is of absolute importance. In some ways it is even more important than how you treat yourself, and how you treat yourself is usually a result of how you speak to yourself, internally. Create a voice of higher reasoning that speaks to you with compassion and caring. Encourage in yourself a level of self-worth that deserves respect from at least yourself. Listen to how you speak to yourself and to others. Then start changing your dialogue so that you sound like you are your best friend, and the best friend to everybody you speak about because you speak well of them. Speak about life and your experience of life as if it is a joyful experience that is only going to get better. If you do just this one thing, you will experience a huge jump in your quality of life. Remember that you hear what you say, so be very mindful of how you speak (and your guides are listening to how you want to feel based on the evidence of how you already feel). Your mind will not allow you to be perceived as a liar and will create what you expect — your reasoning will always go and find evidence to support whatever you are saying.
The only genuine control you’ll ever have in your life is consciously choosing how you manage your thinking, approach and reasoning process and how you perceive things. If you are not exercising this, the only level of control available to you, you have no control at all. You will therefore be fearful and continually try to control your external world. When you are fearful in this way, you believe it is the external world that causes your challenges. Your suffering over the external world really stems from how you’re perceiving the events, situations and interactions in your life, based on your internal approach to yourself. Exercise your free will internally and direct your mind consciously to think only thoughts that cause you to feel good. Consistently bring yourself into the experience of the present moment whenever you have the awareness to do so. It should be clear to you by now that most emotional pain and suffering is a choice, although you may not yet believe you can stop this suffering just by choosing to, and then directing your mind to think in a different way. How much determination or commitment do you have towards feeling good? Your conscious intent will make the difference between your ability to direct your thinking mind and being a victim of it. 
Suppose you’re on a diet, and you start thinking about your favourite food. If you don’t immediately redirect your thoughts onto something else, you will start indulging in those thoughts, and then you will have to eat. You must recognise when this is happening, and redirect your mind somewhere else. If you do this, you will eventually overcome the patterns that cause your problems, because they are simply a practised process of approaches and thinking that you continuously indulge in, which becomes a natural way to be for you. You must commit to directing your thinking mind every time you feel less than great, or find you are approaching or focusing on something in a way that causes you discomfort. Commit to this process and be disciplined, or you will be susceptible to being directed by your fearful subconscious conditioned thinking, as you have been most of your life. To get anything you want using your free will takes commitment to choosing and applying the approach that will attract it. 
Nothing that is really worthwhile long-term came without some level of choice, commitment and discipline. Choose between doing what serves your needs at a low level of awareness, and doing what serves you at a higher level in the long term and in the moment. The only people who have to worry about self-discipline and self-motivation towards feeling good and taking care of themselves are the ones who have not made a decision to feel good yet. Once you decide and commit to the thinking approach that will create this feeling outcome, the journey gets easier. The moment you commit, universal influence or Providence moves to support you. The question should not be “What am I supposed to do?” Instead, it should be “How do I want to feel?” Then you know how you need to evaluate your experience of life to achieve your emotional outcome. You're already doing it. You’re just not truly clear about how you want to feel and how to create that experience for yourself.
Your character (by that I mean the general feel of you) is dictated by how you treat yourself and others, and is very important to how you feel. So make a commitment to directing your mind in a way that builds your character, and not just supports your needs. Remember the saying “the Lord helps those who help themselves”? This is not just empty rhetoric (and also does not refer to helping yourself to other people’s belongings). I believe it refers to helping yourself by directing your conscious thinking in a way that allows you to feel the happiness that is available to you in every moment. Based on the information provided by your guides, universal influence will supply you with circumstances that will help you experience life in a better way than you could ever plan for. All you have to do is trust this process and be open to universal influence supporting you. Firstly, you must tell your guides what you want, by deciding how you want to feel, and then directing your mind in that pursuit.
Remember, you are co-creating your own unique experience of life, not someone else’s. You are telling your guides all the time how you want to feel with the feelings that you consistently create within yourself. They will put situations in front of you that will allow you to feel those same emotions. They want to, and must give you, the learning experiences that they feel will help you grow, and that will teach you to choose better approaches to yourself and the external world. Decide what you want to attract and remember that you’re ultimately looking for a feeling. Then embrace the approaches, processes and techniques that I have suggested in this book, and change your thought quality, approach, reasoning, and therefore your vibration, so that you can actually attract and create your desired experience of life, in any area of your life that you truly want, not just what you expect to get at this time. 
Treat yourself lovingly at every opportunity. Direct your thinking towards experiences of happiness, excitement, compassion, gratitude, fulfilment and the joy of life. I will go as far as to say that the combination of these emotions is what gives the feeling of love. Beware of created emotions, unless those created emotions cause you to feel in line with the feelings I described above. Avoid being driven by certainty and significance whenever possible. The need for certainty is just your internal fear manifesting and being projected onto the external world. Certainty often manifests as a need for control, and control over anything other than your perceptions is an illusion. If you seek significance, be significantly caring, supportive and loving. Any other kind of significance comes from the public identity’s fear of inadequacy. If you indulge in your public identity, I guarantee that you will not feel good about yourself in any more than a superficial way. It affects your level of perceived self-worth and therefore your potential. Do what supports you. Where you can, don’t indulge in disempowering processes like the need for control or significance. Give significance to others and stop looking for it for your self.
Positioning is about the need for control. It arises from the need to be right or the fear of being wrong, or the need to feel significant. Being right, or not being wrong, is a way to avoid perceived pain. It is no way to be happy. Do you want to be right or not wrong, or do you want to be happy? If you take a position in a debate, discussion, argument situation or interaction, you stand to lose. Therefore, you will experience some level of fear. When you take no position, you are free to experience everything that happens in the moment with no attachment, and therefore no fear. Attachment creates craving, and craving will always cause discomfort and suffering, one way or another. 
Craving, even for objects, is usually based on your craving to feel differently than you do, or to be perceived in a different way by yourself and others, because you probably don’t honestly feel like you’re enough just being you. The turmoil is in the struggle, not in the detail. If you’re struggling over who you think you should be compared to how you think you are, you’ll suffer. Whenever you recognise that you are struggling with anyone, over anything, relinquish your struggle by relinquishing (surrender your attachment to) your position, standpoint, or viewpoint. Have no expectation of outcome, other than to feel good. When you relinquish attachment to whatever position you have taken, and focus on how you can serve others, you can immediately change the level of happiness and fulfilment in your life. Control causes turmoil and suffering, even though we think it will allow us to be happy, or at least safe.
What rules do you have? Question your rules and find out if they are actually yours or if they have been inherited from others. Always recognise that everybody else has the right to live by their own rules and not yours. If you believe others should function by your rules or have the same rules as you, you will suffer. If you try to impose your rules on others (outside of a salaried working environment), you’ll suffer. Your rules and values are your own. Make sure you construct your rules in a way that supports you and do not disempower you. If you’re in an argument, there is a good chance your rules have been broken, or you’re trying to impose your beliefs, expectations or rules on someone else, and have taken a ‘position’ based on this. Rather than continuing the argument, put your attention towards what rules must be in play so you can decide whether they are important enough to argue over. Alternatively, you can adjust them in a way that makes them far less easy to break. I suggest that all couples should sit down and openly, honestly, and compassionately find out what each other’s values and rules are. That way, you will know how to be loving, caring, and compassionate towards your partner, whilst still honouring yourself.
The importance of self-acceptance cannot be overemphasised. End your self-criticism. Be authentic with yourself. Know that you are as you are and trying to be someone else, or different, will only destroy the quality of your life. Recognise that you are the only person you’ll have to spend the rest of your life with. Decide how you want to treat that person you are stuck with, and how you want to be treated by them. When you accept yourself as you are, even though that might sound scary or impossible, miracles happen. I can talk about this because I’ve been through it. All my personal struggle and craving came about as a result of trying to be different to how I thought I was. I did not accept myself and this caused me immense pain. I tried to be different and ended up feeling constantly disappointed with myself. Now I am immune to what other people think, simply because now I like being me, not because I am very different, but because I accepted myself completely and unconditionally. My self-worth changed not because I became what I thought I should be, but simply because I accepted how I am. Now I have no internal conflict and I enjoy being myself, and I enjoy my own company, because I can now see my real value, to me, not to others. I now consider thinking in any other way to be a painful, turmoil-inducing approach. I’m probably the only person in the world that truly accepts me for who and how I am, and that’s absolutely fine with me. After all, I’m the only one I have to live with all the time. Interestingly, I have become far more able to do and experience new things since I accepted myself than I could have through measuring, judging and criticising myself and indulging the illusion of becoming how I thought I should be.
If it is not so, clean your home and see it as giving yourself a gift. Keep it reasonably tidy so that you continue to give yourself this gift. Practise doing the little things as you think of them, or write them down, instead of adding them to your internal list of what you are not happy about. Just do whatever it is as it comes up, or schedule a time and do it if you can’t do it immediately. Think of things that cause you to feel good so you are not giving your attention to the things that trigger you into feeling stressed or bad. Go through the process of cleaning your energy and aura at least once a day so you are free to experience fresh new energy, and let go of the old energy that affected you yesterday and let go of yesterday. These are very powerful strategies that speed up your progress to happiness, higher levels of awareness, and ultimately peace.
Remember, there is no real right, wrong, good or bad. These judgements are only perceptions of events, situations and interactions and they often cause reactions. Whenever you find yourself reacting, take a step back internally and wait until you can respond in a balanced and constructive way. Otherwise, you will just engender reaction in return. Unconsidered reaction will not serve anyone. Recognise that any situation or event can be perceived as good, bad, right or wrong at different times. Therefore, everything is really only an event. How you perceive the event is purely based on the meaning you apply to it, which then creates your emotional response to it. Decide how you want to feel and then decide how you need to approach whatever it is to accomplish your intent. Always push the boundaries of your comfort zone. Anything outside of your comfort zone is your discomfort or fear zone. Do something every day that scares you. Try doing something you believe is beyond your capability. With enough practice, at some point you will become capable of doing them. Accept that anything you do well now required practice at some time. Decide, consciously, the experiences you want in your life and start taking the steps that will bring them into your reality. You deserve them as much as anybody else.

Talk about relationships to everything. 

Your relationship to anything is really based on your approach to it and your attachments and associations to it.

Relationships are life, so make sure you’re engaging in relationships in all their forms and glory. A passing conversation with a stranger is a brief relationship. Relationships are not based only on emotional involvement or blood ties. They cover any interaction you have with anybody and anything. Do you want to genuinely love someone and be loved, or do you enter relationships to have your needs met? If you do the latter, and you are honest about it, and accept yourself for it, change will happen anyway. Do your best to repair relationships with significant people in your life. This does not mean try to get them to see your standpoint. It means let go of your attachment to these positions and just be caring. This is a process of letting go, not about continuing to try to be right. Clear out the old emotional baggage that is attached to these people in your perception of them. Change your approach to them and focus on what you can like or value about them.
Resolving your relationship with or over your father will result in more external-world success. Resolving your relationship with or over your mother will result in happier and more stable relationships. Forgive your parents, and yourself — you were all doing the best you could at the time as you always are. Show your level of awareness by being the one to initiate the truce, or apologise for your behaviour, even if you don’t believe it was your fault, and without expectation that they will accept or acknowledge your apologies. It takes two to have a disagreement. You are half of the challenge that lies around this relationship, even if they were the perpetrator and you were the victim. Forgive them, and yourself, and you will feel better for it. That is what matters. 
Be kind to yourself, and do whatever it takes to resolve situations whilst still treating yourself with love and compassion. In every relationship in your life, be affectionate, supportive, trusting, loving, honest, open and willing to grow. Do whatever it takes to be caring rather than trying to be right or not wrong. It is not enough that you care for someone — they must experience your caring. That goes for you as well. You must experience how much you care for yourself. The more you care for yourself, and experience that caring, the more you will accept yourself as you are. Accepting yourself how you are, and accepting others, will take away virtually all of the conflict and struggle in your life.
Become more aware of how you talk to yourself and hold discussions in your head. This is very important. Do what you can to experience a prolonged period of silence (at least five days) so that you can start listening to, and hearing, your internal dialogue. This will also help you experience the true happiness available to you in every moment, if you are actually present. The longer you can experience silence, the better you will become at hearing your thought process. The more you become aware of your thinking patterns, the easier it will become to recognise the difference between your higher self and your thinking mind. Seeing this distinction will help you experience peace with your thinking mind. 
If you’re driven to succeed and have external-world desires, make sure you come at them with the right overall approach and focus. Work out what feelings you will get from achieving your goal or acquiring what you desire, and then ensure there is some element of that feeling in the journey to getting it. Eventually, through practice and awareness, you will no longer have to rely on attaining material ‘things’ to feel good. Make sure your net worth is not entangled with your personal worth. If you evaluation of value is always associated with money, or has to have a monetary value associated with it, you have a money-only mentality. Money comes and goes, and so will your perception of your own value and that of others if it is associated with money. Happiness is only available internally, not externally, and therefore cannot carry a monetary value. It is priceless and available to you in abundance at any time.
Enlightenment does not come about through thinking. Do not concern yourself with becoming awakened or enlightened. If you do, you will slow yourself down and make your blossoming virtually impossible. Instead, you need to apply high quality, optimistic reasoning, to an uplifting, inspiring thought process. Use your best quality reasoning to create and support high quality, supportive beliefs that make it easy for you to feel good. Always focus on how to feel genuinely good, based on how you feel, not on what you assume others are thinking or may think. Then, when the time is right, you will blossom and awaken. Not before, no matter how hard you try...
Be aware of Karma and how you create it in your daily life. Do your best to make sure you create more Karmic credit than debt. Then do what you can to wash away your previous Karma by raising your awareness and your vibration through your new uplifting, inspiring, and supportive approach to yourself, others, and life. Be your authentic self no matter what, and serve others (without victim-hood or being a pleaser), no matter who they are. Strive to serve a higher cause than yourself, looking for nothing in return. Exercise humility at every opportunity, especially when you notice public identity or egotistical behaviour taking control of your approach. One of the things that is most disliked by most others is egotistical or arrogant behaviour. If you indulge in celebrity, you’ll suffer from insecurity and fear of rejection. Accepting yourself as you are and praising yourself with genuine honesty and humility for the qualities you bring to your life will engender more self-acceptance each day.
Honestly praise yourself and others at every opportunity. Praise doesn’t only work with people. Try it with your car, or any other physical appliance that may be causing you a challenge, and see what happens. Praise is a higher vibration that affects the vibration of the energy within all physical matter as do approaches like compassion or kind caring. Try it, and you may be surprised. Praise children at every opportunity and help them realise that they are already enough as they are — what they see as challenges in themselves are just behavioural patterns associated to certain that can be adjusted through self-acceptance, compassion and self-love. Remember that loving yourself is about treating yourself lovingly. 
Remember this: To a child, ‘Love’ is spelled ‘Quality Attention’. 

Love to a child.. it is not the time you spend with a child, it is the quality of the attention you give to that child whilst you are in their company.

If you really wanted a child to feel loved through your actions and attention, how would you treat them and talk to them? When you work this out, you will know exactly how to speak to and treat yourself from now on. You have to spend the rest of your life with yourself, inside your head, so do whatever it takes to make peace with yourself through self-acceptance. Your public identity will dissipate the more you accept yourself as you are, not by conforming to how you think you should be. Making peace with your thinking mind will bring about all the changes in your life that you are seeking. Become a kid again. Be spontaneous. Focus on being happy. Get instant gratification — by that, I mean find out what’s great about what you are focused on right now. Enjoy the moment and ask “What can I enjoy about this moment?” Live this moment with all the passion you can muster. If you feel it, then say it. Be honest and straightforward about how you feel without looking for a reaction. Always ask yourself “What am I doing that I don’t need to do right now?” Always find ways to feel good about being you. Always rejoice in the happiness and success of others, and never wallow in the feelings that are generated by the suffering of others. Don’t indulge in the negative energy of those who wish to suffer. If watching the news or reading the newspapers makes you feel bad in any way, stop indulging in them. In fact, as your awareness rises, you will stop watching, listening to, or reading about anything that causes you to feel discomfort, like news and newspapers etc. Remember, you want to feel good, right?
We have taken thinking as far as it can go. It has now become destructive to us as a species. We cannot continue to live through this dysfunctional super-computer and expect to evolve. That is why a time of change is upon us. If you wish to vibrate at a higher level, you must practise the thoughts that will raise your awareness and your vibration. Higher vibration will not come down to your level and bring you up. Creation may put experiences in front of you to help you, but you must do what is required to raise your vibration to meet the higher vibration you seek. This is evolution of awareness, you cannot sidestep it.
Events and situations need to be accepted or, if necessary, you must take the external action required to resolve them. Do not allow them to grow into bigger challenges or predicaments. Do what you can now and let the rest go until it requires action or attention in the present moment. Most people delay the decision to resolve challenges or so-called problems until they become too painful to ignore. The thinking mind is inherently lazy, and we will only do what we need to do unless we consciously direct ourselves to do what is required. If anything starts to interfere with your ability to feel good, resolve it. Do not become totally involved with the outcome of your actions. Instead, do what feels right until the challenge resolves enough for you to get back to feeling good.

I do not wait for happiness. I intend it, expect it, and make it so. My happiness is simply created by my own perceptional approach to myself and my reality. Perception is reality. 	

We can only consciously think one thought at a time. Therefore, choose what you think about or give your attention to. Ask yourself how else you could perceive what you are focused on, or how else you could approach it so you can feel good. If you don’t consciously direct your thoughts, they will be chosen for you by your subconscious pain-avoidance thinking mind. Don’t allow your thinking mind to convince you that it will do or apply what you have learned sometime in the future. If you lack the commitment to feeling good right now, or the motivation to try the suggestions given in this book straightaway, here’s a visualisation for you to do.
Close your eyes and let your imagination take you to your deathbed. Don’t imagine any diseases or reasons for passing — just imagine that you are lying quietly, ready to pass, and in no pain. Fully immerse yourself in the experience of this life coming to an end. Realise that you are at the end of your life and can no longer change anything because it is too late. Do you have any regrets, or things you wanted to resolve, but never did? Is there anything you wanted to experience, but never had the courage to do? Would you make different choices between now and when you arrived on your deathbed if you had another chance? Decide in this moment that if you had it all over again, you would do it differently. Then come back to the present moment and realise that now you have a second chance to do all those things, and create a different ‘end of life experience’ outcome. And there will be one. You will pass at some point. 
What will you wish you would have done, or let go of, when you get there? Look at the changes you would need to make now in your thinking and approach to create a different experience of life emotionally now, and direct your mind to find approaches that will allow you to feel better in every moment. Create happiness now, instead of waiting for happiness to find you. Be clear that you can choose to experience life in any way you want to from now on, and make the decisions that are needed to direct your thinking mind to do those things you wanted to do, and feel good immediately.
Honour yourself first before all others. Do not do this from a selfish, me-only perspective. Make sure you have integrity, caring, and compassion for others whilst you do this, and do not sacrifice yourself for other people’s needs. When you treat yourself with honour and respect, you will find it far easier to treat others with honour and respect, and approach them with compassion and caring, whether you feel they have earned them or not. You must spend 24 hours a day with yourself, so you are the one person you must treat the best. Treat yourself as your own best friend. Use that treatment as an example of how to treat others, as long as it is uplifting, supportive and compassionate.
Remember this: the way to enlightenment is not through escaping the mind or escaping yourself. It’s about making peace with the thinking mind in every area possible and fully experiencing the moment when you can. Be kind and caring towards yourself and support yourself wherever possible. You are just as special as anyone else. As long as you’re not trying to be someone else or different than you perceive yourself to be, you will be able to find the beauty and wonder in just being you. 

At night, just before you sleep, reflect on all the things you can be grateful for in your life, even if it is just small things. You must of course feel gratitude in the strongest way you can so you are emotionally involved in these thoughts. Then do the same as soon as you wake up in the morning. Remember to get totally emotionally involved in the thoughts of gratitude. Send that gratitude to all the people you will be interacting with in your day, including those you don’t know about yet. If you do this consistently and with enough emotion, all of your interactions will start to change dramatically. Every person you come into contact with, ask yourself “what can I be grateful to this person for?” even if you have or have had challenges with them. Watch how the quality of life changes for you.

Write down everything you did to support yourself today, in an uplifting, supportive and inspiring way.

* If you have a home to live in, you are in the richest 25% of the world's population.
* And if you have spare money in your pocket, you are in the richest 8% of the world's population.
* And if you have not experienced the fear of battle, you are in the richest 2% of the world's population.
* And if you have access to the Internet, and the freedom to make the choice to use it, you are in the richest 1% of the world's       population that has everything available to it.
* and - If you can hold your head up and genuinely smile, you are unique to the norm within almost all societies.

Self enquiry

Your compassion and caring for others helps to dictate your vehicles and is passed from life to life. It is perceived as early character traits. Your character also helps to define your rules.

Approach people with an expectation of how they will help you, and what you can be grateful to them for.

Create a list of compliments to yourself.

Don't wait for something painful to happen before you make choices that will change your life, and the lives of others for the better.

Care deeply, speak kindly, give generously, hold nothing back, helped when you can, break rules, forgive immediately, kiss slowly, love truly and fearlessly, laugh uncontrollably, never regret anything, forget quickly, breathe deeply, break the rules, dance freely like there is nobody watching,

Start living the life of the senses. The more you use your senses, the less you use imagination, the less turmoil you'll experience, the more chance you have of becoming free of the concept of the self.

You can only ever truly enjoy a sunrise if you have experienced the darkness that precedes it.

vcbcvv

Afterword

I am no expert in the fields of neurobiology, quantum physics, religious writings or doctrine, or even history. Most of the concepts I talk about in this book came to me over a period of time, many of which I had not considered or contemplated before. I felt that it was right, and my responsibility, to share them in this book, and I welcome any constructive response about them from people wishing to interact and explore them more. I hope what I have presented here resonates with you, and ultimately helps you to have a much better quality of life. No matter how good your life seems at the moment. First, you need to learn to feel good most of the time to be able to experience the present moment more. If you have not mastered your conscious thinking process, you will not be able to live in the moment because it will regularly find a way to distract you, and cause you discomfort and turmoil. 
I hope this book has taught you how to drastically change your thinking process in your favour. This will help you to feel good no matter what is happening. If you want to help others with the information in this book, rather than giving them your copy, tell them to get a copy for themselves, or get them one as a gift. That way, they can keep it and refer to it whenever they choose, as you can now. I trust it was worth your time and effort to read this book. If I helped just one person change the quality of their life, it was worth the time, effort, and commitment to create this book. I honour you from the bottom of my heart for your courage and commitment to yourself, and to help in raising our collective consciousness.

Every passing moment is an opportunity to change your perception of your life. When you go to bed, the challenges of the day will be over, and this day will be gone forever. Or you can let those challenges go immediately during the day, and leave behind an even happier day. Make the choice to improve the quality of how you feel ‘right now’, and the quality of your life from now on. You’re worth it, and you deserve it!	
  
change image
 to 'This is not the end but simply a new beginning'

Please send me have your thoughts on this book. 
You will be able to submit your comments through our website at: 
http://www.FreedomFromYourThinkingMind.com/feedback.htm
Let me know what other questions you would like to have answered, or what you want to know about, and you can also make suggestions for further books, courses or products that will help people. I would also like to know if this book or information has impacted you or someone you know. So please let me have your valuable feedback, and I will give you a valuable free gift for doing so.

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Anand Ji
onenessanand@gmail.com

Narasimha Kumar
onenessnarasimhakumar@gmail.com

Sathish
sathishdasa@gmail.com

SatishGc    - Skype 
	
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People are most strongly drawn to transformation nowadays.

Perceptual memory is held in the thinking mind and experiential memory is held in the akachic library.

Explain 'cause' you to feel.

Explain needs and drives, not just needs.

Do an audio on choice construction-through goals setting.

What you put into your body goes into your bloodstream which affects your vibrational state, and therefore the type of thoughts you have, or tune into and experience.

This body and mind are just translators of the physical experience.

Intemperance

Whatever my problem or challenge, I can be happy (repeat multiple times)

Negatising - positising

The people who believe something cannot be done should leave alone those who that know it can.
Some people make it happen
Some people watch it happening and 
Some people wonder what just happened

The father, the son, the holy spirit, is like describing the different forms that water takes. Ice, water and gas. These are just forms of the same thing. The same as all other versions of God, they are all versions of the same thing.

If you only believe what your mind can conceive, you will not see the miracles in every moment.

Perfection is merely a concept of the mind. Everything is already perfect. However the opposite of perfection could be seen as carelessness and disinterest.

In the West we glorify and worship the illusion of individual free will, or control as it is seen. When this illusion of free will is surrendered, and you come into alignment with universal will, the flow of creation, things become very easy and happen automatically. This brings peace, and the dissolution of the psychological self will follow and clear out the illusion of individual Psychological needs.

First thought must become more balanced between left and right brains (logical and conscious) and then a diminishing of that thought based on letting go of the concept of the self.

The right prefrontal lobe gives the imaginary experience because the right brain is predominantly artistic. This overrides the left brain prefrontal lobe experience???  Check in book to see if this is right...

Whilst in this body you are totally associated to the physical form, and you must truly have experience of being a physical being. To have occasional nonphysical experiences does not break the physical Association.

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Change images of perception cycle!

http://FreedomFromYourThinkingMind.com/EN   downloadable pdf version of Evolutionary needs

Put the link in book about further learning-videos, courses etc

Topher Morrison - recommended resources
Wayne Dyer - recommended resources

True Willpower follows Can-power perception

Agneya chakra  :o)
Funnilly

Antaryamin

amphetamines

Ossama bin Laden or a Nelson Mandela
	
	Mother terrresa?

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Remember, life is perception. Your reality is based on your perception, not the actuality of anything that is happening in the moment.

Primal logic

You can create a concept from an experience, but you can not create the experience from a concept, you can only create the imaginary experience with a concept. It cannot be a true experience.

Universal influence is either giving you new experiences to help you learn and grow so you can evolve, or it is making it too painful to stay where you are, so that you move and start to evolve again.

What are you doing when you have a teaching? You are basically showing the mind to itself; that's what creates insight, so the mind has insight into itself and how it is creating its own suffering.

Worship of an entity perceived as higher than your 'self' is about relinquishing your ego, your sense of self, so that you can transcend that sense of self. It's not about trying to receive something external to yourself from that entity. If you worship to get something external to yourself, that's desperation, and because of your sense of separation from that higher intelligence that you are speaking to. That higher intelligence is within you, that connection to the divine is within you. If you don't have any sense of that at all, then that low awareness is just about thinking, and because you've been conditioned to believe that it is external to you by those who use it to have power over you. The culture of worship in the west is about honoring somebody that you perceive to have something you don't, like celebrity, fame, richness, name, status, etc.
After watching the followers at the temple, it tells me that they no longer worship out of cultivating humility, they now do it out of desperation.

If you have become awakened, if your thinking has not become awakened as a result through universal intelligence, then you will still struggle probably for the rest of your life. That is how strong the western mind is. The thinking can still keep control of us even though we are done experiencing personal discomfort over it.

Awakening can happen quite quickly for some people, but the amount the mind lets go of control will dictate the speed of the growth of the awareness.

Suddenly was suddenly three of me, or in really one of me and two of these physical minds (the thinking mind and the higher right brain physical mind) that I used to call me: and the me that was experienced as new, or that I perceived as new. The consciousness behind this physical concept of self, the consciousness that was connected to everything, the eternal consciousness that uses this body to experience this physical world through. And there was the other part of me which was the thinking concept of me, which is how I thought about myself. Which was really just a combination of all the experiences from perception I'd had all my life. Now all of a sudden I was free from that, and I saw this body almost as a separate entity to me, just something I was experiencing through.

Life is the experience of your moment by moment events, situations and interactions.

The world is just a mirror, or really your version of reality is just a mirror to show you how you are perceiving. This will hopefully allow you to have insights into your soul and how you perceive, so that your mind will set you free even in just a small way. This I call evolution of perception brought on by universal influence.

he left brain only experiences itself and its constructed concept of you, and as a reflection, life, and when you are stuck in left-brain thinking, that is all you can really experience. You experience all your thinking conflict and suffering, and all your imaginings appear real and permanent. In contrast, the right brain is experienced as the observer. When there is a high enough level of awareness, it can see and hear the functioning of the left brain. This can be experienced as awakening to some extent, but is not enlightenment. It can also be called self-awareness or self-actualisation — it is really just the first step to true awakening. 
Right-brain awareness can overpower left-brain thinking with higher reasoning, but only when you have attained a high enough level of skill at what I call ‘thought replacement’, or 'conscious redirection of the mind'. If you are thinking about anything from the perspective of this witness, you cannot truly be this witness. This is merely the right-brain observer experience of being the witness, and therefore the physical mind still has you trapped. Your mind is just fooling you into believing you are enlightened using public identity (commonly known as ego), and imagination, to stop you trying to become free of thinking, and therefore keeps its influence and control over you. If you have any desire at all to tell others about your level of awareness, or to display it in any way, you have not reached true awakening, and you have certainly not experienced enlightenment.

Kari in resources section for rebirthing.#

Create a question and answer sheet both in book and for study course.

OCCD  obsessive-compulsive caring disorder.

L  ocation
U nderstanding   mine  --  underlying belief that you deserve it
C onnection 
K nowledge

Change separate for independent in some cases.

Change re-boot of 2012 to no actual date.

Back Cover
Do you only get pleasure from distractions like money, sex, drugs, food, alcohol or getting a certain kind of attention from others? Is your prospect of fulfillment only in your hoped-for future outcomes or desired achievements? Are you waiting for someone of the opposite sex, or even the same-sex, to come along and fulfill you? If the honest answer to any of these questions is yes, then I can help.

Do you only get perceived pleasure from distractions like sex, drugs, food, alcohol or getting a certain kind of attention from others? Getting satisfaction from food can give you instant comfort, and you can also get self-validation and significance from attention from others, sex and something you can be good at, and .

new book
The principal of abundant circulation
The principal of persistence and perseverance

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Removed

Once you have them all drawn out and you feel comfortable with them, take another piece of paper. On it, redraw your circles, intersecting or overlapping them so you can see how your personalities interact with each other in certain areas of your life or during certain situations etc. Do this exercise with zero judgement for any of your personalities, their motivations, traits and hehaviours. Recognise that you are doing it to raise your awareness, not to identify traits to punish, judge or criticise out of yourself. Each time you do this exercise, you will find it changes, just remember to do it with zero judgement or criticism, and do not allow your image of how you want to be, to cloud the results. You can also create circle diagrams for different areas of your life. For instance, what personalities are present in your romantic moments and how do they interact? Which personalities come forward during sports? Or when you are working in business and generating sales and so on? 

If you have ever watched the movie American Pie 2, you’ve see a great example of what can happen in moments when public identity is relinquished. A guy called Sherman is always trying to appear very confident with the ladies. He even calls himself ‘The Shermanator’ as a metaphor for his greatness with women. This performance is obvious to everyone around him without him realising it, and they see him as a bit of a joke. As a result, he just keeps causing himself to feel low about himself because he knows it is an act. Then, at the end of the movie, he finds himself talking to the woman of his dreams. He decides that the real Sherman has no chance with her and in that moment he gives up his pretence. He admits to how he really perceives himself, and that turns out to be just what the girl is looking for. The moment he relinquishes his attachment to the pretentiousness of public identity, life changes for him.

identity associations-- Hugh Hefner etc he

'Forward'
Many of my insights came to me whilst helping other people understand the concepts and information described in this book. The challenge of finding words to explain non thinking experiences in a conceptual way to others forced me to look in new places or in different ways for clarity, and this helped me to became more able to explain it in thinking ways people can relate to in their own lives. When you let go of your ‘thinking self' to a point where you can actually step aside and are no longer in the way, measuring your performance or what you think the perceptions of others about you may be, you can connect with Collective Consciousness and Universal Influence in a way that is not possible otherwise. This connection is not accessible if you function in a self-focused way, either alone or when you are with others. 

Other people can trigger us to higher levels of awareness. You will find them every day in your life. These are the people we really need to help us grow. Universal Influence presents them to us. Even if we wanted to avoid the lessons they bring, we can't avoid the lesson long-term, and if we try, other people will be presented to us in their place. Such people are a gift, so embrace them with open arms. 

Disruption to thinking creates change, not avoiding the lessons that create the disruption. 

what went wrong:
This process could have started out simply because someone realised that focusing their thoughts on something in a certain way could give them a solution that was not apparent in nature: for instance, working out how to build a shelter instead of just looking for one that was naturally occurring. Later it will have evolved to encompass something that affected our species and our evolution a lot more. For instance, a non-alpha male realising that if he had something to offer alpha males in exchange for protection, then he could actually become the alpha male without being physically the strongest. He could control them with his apparent superior thinking, by doing things better and more efficiently than they could. He could therefore become an invaluable part of the community and perhaps become the new power within the community. Some perhaps understood the new emerging concept of ‘imagined future pain’ and realised that they could control others with their new-found awareness. 

Introduction

I believe that thinking in a way that empowers you and brings you peace, and becoming awakened to high levels of awareness, although interconnected in some ways, are actually two different processes. One is about using your thinking mind and becoming self-aware, and the other is about transcending your thinking mind altogether. Therefore you cannot become awakened through thinking. I am talking about freedom from your thinking mind. Some parts of the book are about directing your thinking mind, and others are about how to awaken to new levels of awareness not available through thinking.

All that is keeping you from feeling absolutely complete right now is your attachment to your conditioned scarcity thinking, and perhaps your inability to direct your mind consciously at the moment, and your current inability to be fully present in each moment. I will help you to change these things.

Some people know they need to make changes in their life and their thinking process, but have a resistance to any process that appears spiritual, simply because they may associate spirituality with organized religion. For many people in the Western world, that association puts them off. Unfortunately, traditional spirituality, religion and church can seem all one and the same to many Westerners, who, even if they knew about the concept of Oneness, would feel resistance to it even though it is non-religious and non-denominational. 

I sometimes put the back of my hand on my forehead. Basically I put the center knuckle of my right hand between my eyes on the agnea chakra and actually get a sense of more peacefulness from thoughts by doing this, so I think it has an effect on the thoughts that are coming in through the agnea chakra. Something to think about.

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